#disasterPan

[chronicowboy]

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) | 22k

"Do you have any idea what its like telling him his Buck is hurt?"

"Yes," Buck growls out, voice sharp as the knives embedded in Eddie's chest. "Yeah, Eddie, I really fucking do because I was the one that had to tell him that you'd been shot."

Eddie laughs. Its a broken sound, animalistic and rough and sounding only like a laugh echoing halfway across the galaxy. A wet laugh, edges razor sharp with bitter irony, corners like spears of desperate loneliness. He wants to grab Buck by the face and make him understand. Make him understand that the comparison of those situations is an admission of Buck's place in Christopher's life. Make him understand what Buck has never quite been able to grasp fully.

"Once," Eddie says instead. "Once. Imagine doing that five times within the last six months. Over and over and over. Watching his little face crumple like that first time when we didn't know if you'd ever wake up, listening to him begging to see you even if you've already been sent home because he doesn't quite believe that you aren't gonna disappear like his mom." Its too much, too much all at once, and Buck's mouth falls open like he hadn't been expecting it. A chink in his armour. Eddie exploits it. "He's terrified, Buck. And you just keeping throwing yourself into danger like he doesn't care about you."

"I know he cares," Buck argues hoarsely.

"Do you?" Eddie pushes, eyes dropping to the tense line of Buck's shoulders. "Do you? Because I think that if you did, if you knew just how much he cared, you wouldn't be ignoring harnesses and risking your life for a Walmart bunny."

"You know as well as I do that toys mean a lot to kids—"

"They're valuable, yes," Eddie concedes. "But not at the cost of a life, Buck." Not your life. "Does Christopher even cross your mind when you free climb down a cliff?"

"Of course he does!" Buck clenches his hands in the pillow he drags into his lap, unable to do anything else to purge his anger. "It was a little boy I was climbing down for, Eddie! You don't think I was thinking of Christopher?"

"I don't think you were thinking of him in the right way," Eddie snaps, pushing himself up from the armchair and pacing the floor in front of the coffee table.

"And how should I have been thinking of him, Eddie?" Buck's voice turns cold and emotionless in a way that sends a shudder down his spine. "In terms and conditions? In legal fine print? In the event of your death? Is that how I should have been thinking of him? As his back-up plan?"

"Back-up plan?" Eddie stares down at him incredulously, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

(OR: buck gets reckless, eddie gets angry, they talk in all the wrong ways, and the universe decides to intervene) [AKA The Angst Fic/season seven divorce era 2.0 fic]

@danielsousa @diazly @gracelcdomas @diazass @rogue205 @alyxmastershipper @pinky-promisesss @evanbucklxy @buddiearemydads @youraveragebookwhore @kenneth-black @poughkeepsies @littlechaosgremlin @krispold @scarcrossedbuck @thisyearsloveisnow @shortsighted-owl @ebdaydreamer @mellaithwen @littlebunnyz @shipping2survive @wallpaper-inside-my-heart @theroguetranslator @thebestbooksaround @i-am-a-mess24-7 @disasterpans @cowboy-buck @violet-rot @angstydiaz @livingonzenstreet @chiefcolorathletetoad

[internutter]

Challenge #03066-H158: Stolen By the Fae

Especially at the beginning of integrating humans into the Galactic Alliance, there are still humans that have never been to space, don't really need any training. What do a fierce crew who have 2 (as many as you want) death-defy-ing humans think of this? do they visit earth and see this? or is a human with no training forced out into space. how crazy can a human with no training be? probably just as crazy but that's not the point lol. Chaos ensues, have fun! -- DisasterPan

Humans went from "to be avoided" to "in high demand" practically overnight. Which resulted in a lot of Humans entering employment whether they wanted it or not. The Alliance didn't necessarily travel all the way to Terra to get them, since Human colonies were abundant. However, many of them were... not exactly prepared for a spacer's life.

Call hir... Den. Ze had just been minding hir own business, eking out hir existence on a poultry farm in the middle of almost-nowhere. Then the sky lights came and now ze was... here. A smooth, neutrally-coloured area that may or may not be one of the circles of hell. The bed upon which Den lay was comfortable, but the clothes were... not hirs.

Gone was the homespun cloth from hir mothers' loom. Gone was the handmade quilt from hir grandmother. Gone was the poppet ze had had from childhood. This was not hir home. Everything was too clean. There was no way anyone had been living in this space before Den had been deposited here. There was so much to take in...

[Check the source to see the full story]

[so-damn-sirius]

Pride, 2019

(my) Merthur:

pansexual & demisexual Merlin:

DisasterPan™

he trips, stumbles and falls over thin air

can't keep a secret to save his life-- literally

is angelic to everyone except his boyfriend

says things for the sole purpose of annoying said boyfriend

if unfounded optimism and low self-esteem had a child it would be him

gets in an unnatural amount of trouble but he goes looking for it so really it's his own fault

has sO mAnY FeeLiNgS and has no qualms expressing them

fortunately his boyfriend can read him like an open book and helps him open up or cheer up when he needs it

usually has the most chill, but when he loses it he goes absolutely baLLISTIC

loki falls in love with eVeRy pretty human he comes across

and unwittingly makes them fall in love with him too

unfortunately for them he's irrevocably in love with his boyfriend already, always has been (destiny and the like)

loves dragons and magic

will never apologise for being himself

very tactile, loves hugs, shows so much platonic affection

cheek and forehead kisses!!

formed a romantic connection with his boyfriend almost instantly but it takes him time to want more physical intimacy

sometime between the fourth and seventh (they come in extremely quick succession!) life or death situation where they inevitably save each other he finds himself craving further intimacy and his boyfriend is more than happy (ecstatic) to oblige

will risk his life for the people he cares for

will kill for the people he loves

bisexual Arthur:

DysfunctionalBi™

can't dress himself

"i know women"

insults = flirting

polite and friendly to everyone except his boyfriend

yells incessantly at said boyfriend

but also really appreciates him and definitely can't function aT aLL without him

if narcissism and self-doubt had a child it would be him

can't take a complement graciously because his brain short circuits (he's so used to receiving criticism and disappointment)

so appreciation and love are deflected with banter and disbelief

canNoT express his feelings because he doesn't reaLLy know hOW

but his boyfriend always knows how he's feeling because that boy is a psychic and knows how to deal with him and those pesky feelings

functions on a constant level of low chill

falls in love rarely but totally, hasn't really looked at anyone since he first saw his boyfriend (love at first fight)

seems outwardly difficult to love but has a heart of the purest gold

loves swords and dogs

constantly trying to prove himself

not used to getting enough hugs but is slowly learning to be more physically affectionate with people

aBsoLuTeLy fine with his boyfriend not wanting more than casual closeness at first, especially since he needs to work on emotional intimacy himself

will kill for the people he cares for

will give his life for the people he loves

These are my personal interpretations of their canon characters plus some extensions of the imagination but of course all perspectives on them are valid :D

~the art is mine, a little doodle for pride month~

[touchtoneteleph]

I still don't know how I got some of my usernames

Like network on ao3 in like 2017? And omxn for minecraft in late 2018, omxn on Tumblr in 2018, disasterpan on twitter in 2019, etc. How did noone have those usernames before what

Also fun fact 'network' as a handle for me first emerged on disaster virtual pet site chickensmoothie, on which I started a decent sized riot

[saucymongoose]

lgbt miraculous personal hc

disasterbi!mari

functionalpan!adrien

and they switch when they're in suit

functionalbi!ladybug

disasterpan!chatnoir

[cmweller]

Challenge #03066-H158: Stolen By the Fae

Especially at the beginning of integrating humans into the Galactic Alliance, there are still humans that have never been to space, don't really need any training. What do a fierce crew who have 2 (as many as you want) death-defy-ing humans think of this? do they visit earth and see this? or is a human with no training forced out into space. how crazy can a human with no training be? probably just as crazy but that's not the point lol. Chaos ensues, have fun! -- DisasterPan

Humans went from "to be avoided" to "in high demand" practically overnight. Which resulted in a lot of Humans entering employment whether they wanted it or not. The Alliance didn't necessarily travel all the way to Terra to get them, since Human colonies were abundant. However, many of them were... not exactly prepared for a spacer's life.

Call hir... Den. Ze had just been minding hir own business, eking out hir existence on a poultry farm in the middle of almost-nowhere. Then the sky lights came and now ze was... here. A smooth, neutrally-coloured area that may or may not be one of the circles of hell. The bed upon which Den lay was comfortable, but the clothes were... not hirs.

Gone was the homespun cloth from hir mothers' loom. Gone was the handmade quilt from hir grandmother. Gone was the poppet ze had had from childhood. This was not hir home. Everything was too clean. There was no way anyone had been living in this space before Den had been deposited here. There was so much to take in...

[Check the source to see the full story]

[chronicowboy]

let's build this house (into a home, baby) | 25k

aka the dilf next door neighbours au

The day both Buck's tomatoes and chillies germinate is also the day the universe decides to give him a little nudge. He's sitting out in the backyard with a book on octopuses and a beer, soaking up the last of the day's sun as his attempt at Bobby's six cheese lasagne bakes in the oven, when Christopher pops up over the fence.

"Hey, buddy!" he calls out with a grin. "Did you know that octopuses actually is the correct plural form of octopus not octopi?"

"Cool." Chris smiles, but it fades just as soon as it appears. Buck dog-ears his page and sets his book down.

"Everything okay?" he asks carefully, crossing to the fence.

"Yeah, I'm just hungry." Christopher sighs. "Dad burnt dinner. Again."

Buck glances through his open back door to the dining table with three mismatched chairs, and bites his lip. He's got no excuse today, the evening sun leaving him lethargic but not exhausted, the hour reasonable.

"Hey, I've got an idea." Buck winks at Christopher. "Stay there, okay?"

Buck grabs his beer, book and folding chair, setting them just inside the entrance. He makes his way to the front door, stopping at the hallway mirror to fix his curls into something a little more presentable, and walks the few yards down their adjoined porch to Christopher's door. With a deep breath, he raises his hand and knocks.

The door swings open a few seconds later, and Buck's mouth goes dry at the sight that greets him. Buck was distantly aware that Christopher's dad was training to be a firefighter, distantly aware of the physique that comes with the job, but had been expecting, you know, a dad. Socks and sandals, cargo shorts, a Henley. This is most definitely not the image of Christopher's father he'd conjured in his mind because he's not just a dad, he's a downright DILF. Socked feet in sliders, sweats that leave little to the imagination, and, yes, a Henley—forest green and hugging the meaty curves of his biceps in a way that makes Buck feel a little feral with the urge to just bite. And then there's the guy's face. Fuck, its unholy, illegally attractive. Tan skin stretched smoothly over perfect bone structure, fluffy waves falling over his forehead and looking softer than anything Buck can imagine, lips plush and pink and inviting, a light dusting of stubble across his jaw that Buck desperately wants to feel—not fussed about where exactly he feels it.

As his eyes crawl back up to the man's face, he catches the guy's gaze dragging up his own body. He preens a little, something hot pulsing behind his sternum. When their eyes meet, Buck gets a little breathless. Christ, if the rest of him was divine, his eyes are transcendentally beautiful. Brown as Buck's perfect cup of coffee right in the middle of a non-stop shift and just as warm, brown as earth and with a gravitational pull all of their own, brown as chocolate and just as tempting. Buck thinks he could spend hours getting lost in those molten eyes, thinks he could curl up in those irises quite comfortable for the rest of his life, thinks those eyes could be the last thing he sees and he'd be happy.

"Buck!" Christopher's voice startles them out of their staring match, and Buck watches as the guy looks between them with a frown.

Fuck, maybe Chim was right. Maybe this is weird.

"You're Firefighter Buck?" The guy asks him, raising an eyebrow, and, oh God, his eyes are practically sparkling with amusement.

"Expecting something else?" Buck asks, holding his arms out in what is hopefully not an obvious request for the guy to look at his arms.

"Maybe someone a little shorter and more imaginary," he murmurs with a darting glance at Christopher.

"No, I can assure you I am very real."

"I can see that," he mutters to himself. Buck flushes and ducks his head to hide his pleased smile

taglist <3: @danielsousa @diazass @gracelcdomas @shortsighted-owl @juliaor @blazeturbo102 @i-spit-on-fire @alyxmastershipper @disasterpans @virtualstudent16 @hippolotamus @ebdaydreamer @scarcrossedbuck @buffaluff

[chronicowboy]

morsel monday

this is literally just a made-up way for me to share part of a scene i love for the dilf next door because i couldn't keep it to myself so enjoy!!

Buck climbs up the stairs to the loft before falling face first onto the couch with a groan only partly exaggerated.

"You good, kid?" Bobby asks from the kitchen, tone half amused and half concerned.

"No," Buck mumbles into the cushions.

"Oh, no." Chimney sits down on his legs with a sigh. "Did Athena pop by to tell you that you're no longer allowed within one hundred feet of elementary schools?"

"No, Howard," Buck snaps, "I have not been added to the sex offender registry."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Hen mutters. "I found your sex life very offensive when you first started."

"Seconded," Bobby calls out. Buck rolls onto his back, knocking Chimney off his legs in the process, and drags a cushion over his face. "Alright, kid." Bobby sits down on the coffee table with a grunt. "What happened?"

"I met Christopher's dad," he tells them petulantly.

"Oh, shit." Chim sinks onto the arm of the couch. "He didn't like forbid you from seeing him or anything because I was only joking."

"No, worse." Buck knows he's being dramatic, knows that Hen and Chim will relentlessly tease him about this for weeks if not months, but he needs to vent about the hot dad next door.

"Buckaroo, what happened?" Hen prods kindly.

"Chris told me his dad burnt dinner again," Buck recounts, sitting up in the corner of the couch and clutching the cushion to his chest, "so I think this is the perfect opportunity to finally meet him because I had a lasagne in the oven."

"I didn't see you walk in here with a Tupperware, Buckley. Where are your leftovers?" Chim demands.

"In Christopher's hot dad's fridge," Buck grumbles.

"Ohhhhhhh." Hen nods to herself. "I see."

"You had me worried," Bobby sighs.

"No, you don't understand," Buck cries. "He's so hot. Like unfairly hot. Like looks like he just walked off a photoshoot or a porn set hot."

"Don't make me call in a HR representative," Bobby warns.

neighbours au taglist: @danielsousa @diazass @gracelcdomas @shortsighted-owl @juliaor @blazeturbo102 @i-spit-on-fire @alyxmastershipper @disasterpans (please lmk if you'd like to be added)