#dirk's ended up super long oof

[waitineedaname]

♡❤️ DAVE

oh you know my weaknesses

♡ - romantic headcanon: this isn’t necessarily a romantic headcanon but there’s not cuddling option on the ask meme list, so. dave is a goddamn cuddle FIEND. he’s so fucking tactile, and he doesn’t even really realize it half the time. 

I’m gonna use karkat as an example but this goes for really any dave ship, but he’ll be holding karkat’s hand and it’s Time For Fidget so he just ends up playing with his fingers and running his thumb over the scars on karkat’s hand and tapping out a beat on his wrist and he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it because he’s just relaxed

or they’re sitting together on the couch and he swears they started with a normal amount of space between them, but somehow he ends up draped over karkat’s lap, snuggled so close it seems like he’s trying to fuse with him or something. 

and don’t get me STARTED on the hair petting, dear god, he just melts. 

the boy is touch-starved and he THRIVES with physical affection. physical contact that isn’t aggressive and is filled with love and comfort and care? wild

♥ - family headcanon: one for each strilonde because I’m weak for family stuff,

Rose: you know that sibling dynamic where you send each other cursed images and dumb memes and try to annoy each other into blocking you for the rest of the day? yeah that’s them dsklfjdlfkj they’re constantly trying to get on each other’s nerves and it works, but they’re both godawful at admitting when they’ve lost (especially rose. ESPECIALLY rose). but they also care about each other a whole lot and even if every other part of their lives seems to have gone to hell, they know they can rely on each other (albeit with a few barbs)

Dirk: even though dave knows dirk is different from bro, he’s still similar enough to set off some trauma sometimes, and dirk knows this. dirk cares about him a lot and he hates that a version of himself fucked dave up so bad, but then dave doesn’t want dirk to beat himself up about it, so they’ve got this balanced out thing to help each other out. dirk is extra careful to avoid setting off any of dave’s triggers, like he avoids flashstepping around him because the fast movements set dave on the defensive, so he tries to keep his movements predictable. when he finally started fitting in his hats, he happened to wear one around dave and dave nearly jumped out of his skin, so he doesn’t wear hats around him. and most of all, he tries to show dave that he’s proud of him whenever he can because he knows dave never got that validation from his bro. and in return, dave helps him out of guilt spirals, like when dirk is convincing himself he’s an awful person and he’s doomed to end up the bastard his pre-scratch self was, dave is there to tell him no dude, trust me, you’re nothing like him. it’s a constant work in progress for both of the, but they’re trying and that’s all that matters

also, not to give dirk two headcanons on here, but I like to think that dave ends up a little bit taller than dirk. bro was a physically imposing person in dave’s life  but dirk is just a lanky sixteen year old when they meet. he’s survived off of fish and preserved food his whole life, and it’s kind of stunted his growth, so he’s not as tall as he could be and he’s kinda scrawny. dave had his own dietary restrictions in the first thirteen years of his life, but he actually managed to alchemize some full, regular meals on the meteor, and that helped his growth spurt and made him fill out a tiny bit (he’s still a noodle though), so meeting the post-scratch version of his bro and seeing that he was a couple inches shorter than him and just a mess of teenager acne was something of a comfort for him

Roxy: dave fucking LOVES roxy. dave craves some kind of positive parental figure and let’s be real, that’s not dirk, but roxy is immediately like HELL YEAH, you’re my SON and I LOVE and SUPPORT YOU, let’s talk about your FEELINGS. they’re basically the most supportive person in the whole comic and they have no qualms just drowning dave in love. plus they’re super similar and they get along like a house on fire. so many shenanigans. so many rambles. so much laughter. dave’s list of best friends goes 1) john 1b) karkat 1c) roxy, because they’re all number one. ALSO just something sweet that I think is fun, when roxy starts exploring their gender and decides they want to try out dressing more masculinely, they go to dave and the two go on a shopping spree, which is why they end up looking a lot like dave before they eventually settled into their own aesthetic

Hal: oh you thought I was done??? NO, robot brothers are brothers too. in literally any scenario I can worm him into, I love hal being a good older brother to dave, he’s hal’s favorite brother. I know I’ve already talked to you about this, but I love the idea of a humanstuck au where hal is the person dave went to when he needed identity help. like, if he went to dirk, he’d tell him “Labels are for soup cans” and be supremely unhelpful. if he went to roxy, they’d be like “idk man im figurin this stuff out too but chase ur bliss!!” because they don’t really know what’s going on either. if he went to rose, yeah she’d probably help him figure something out, but at the cost of being psychoanalyzed for three hours. but hal is 1) openly gay and nonbinary (“so are you a dude or” “I’m [windows error noises]” “h. how’d you do that with your mouth”) 2) extremely honest 3) always down to show off how much he knows about a topic, plus dave trusting him so much makes him go ??????? so yeah he’s very helpful

[kieren-fucking-walker]

wednesday, march, september!

wednesday: name a fic which you have posted which you think is underrated?Oof. Um, that’s hard because as soon as someone likes my fic I think it’s overrated lmao. Also it’s really hard to quantify what rated even is when I don’t know what I’m judging it on? I guess maybeAs vast as the ocean, as far as the stars.

If only because it’s certainly one of my least read fics. Although any of my non-ship fics have the same issue really, I know why and I’m not bitter about it but if there was one fic that was read (and I’m talking read, hit count wise not comments wise) to a degree far lesser than my others it’s that one. (Although that said it REALLY bugs me that only like, half the amount of people who read the first two parts of my series read To Know Nothing (Dirk Gently) because that’s the final part!! That’s the happy ending!! That’s the point of all the suffering that came before it!! I’m not even bothered about like, hits or kudos or whatever I’m bothered that they didn’t finish the story!! (and maybe a littttttllleee because it took me months to make sure it was the right ending in the first place lmao.))

march: do you listen to music whilst writing?

Yes! And if I don’t listen while writing I listen before or while planning. Every single one of my fics has it’s own playlist (or song/piece of music if it’s sort enough). I share some of them in the fic posts but I’d share any of them with anyone who asked tbh. Music and writing go hand in hand for me, I struggle to properly cement an idea/feel for the fic without making a little playlist for it.

september: share a comment or review which still warms your heart?All of them. Literally Every. Single. One. The ones that are little hearts and the ones that are like, paragraphs. I love every comment. I love them more than anything. Writing is worth it for writings sake, but comments are what makes sharing the story worth it. Kudos are like getting a passing wave but comments are like being wrapped up in a big warm snuggly hug and being told you’re loved and appreciated. I love them all, and I have a special folder in my email inbox where I’ve got every comment notification email I’ve ever had saved. That said there are a few that stand out. Any that thank me for being sensitive and honest with the more sensitive topics I like to write about, they mean a lot because I really do put a lot of effort into making those things feel real. I’ve had a few people say they trust me to write things like that which is in a similar vein. I’m not really one for gratuitous misery in my writing, so it’s nice to know that’s something that people have picked up on and appreciate? Also lets me know I’m doing a good job at not ending up writing pain for pains sake which is nice. Any comment where someone says they related to a fic or it helped them in some way, I got that a lot with my Farah’s coming out fic and my PTSD ones. Someone once told me that my fic was “so dope” which makes me laugh but also genuinely warms my heart? There’s some totally amazing reviews which have moved me to tears, and I go back and read them a lot. (I also do have favourite commenters who I get super excited to read comments from lmao.) But I think maybe this one, which was left as a comment by someone beta checking the last fic in my series, strikes me most of all:

“I think my experience of the show and of Dirk Gently himself will be richer because of these stories.”To Know the Parts of Me By Name - It was a comment for the whole series.I cried a little even typing that out. I don’t know what to say to that, I didn’t then and I don’t now. It’s so much? I don’t know, but it’s a review I will treasure forever because isn’t that the point of this? I try (most of the time) to write to move people. To make them feel and make them think and I want them to gain something from reading my fic, but something like that is just astounding to me. The thought that I could write anything that would make someone say something like that is just... yeah. A lot. If it hadn’t been left explicitly as commentary in a beta draft of my fic I would think they’d commented on the wrong thing lmao. Anyway wow that got long! Thanks for this

[watchingthesuperbowl]

Notes taken during Super Bowl XXXIX

PREGAME

ARGH, JOE BUCK. It's a Fox joint with Buck, Collinsworth, and Aikman in the booth.

Collinsworth: If the Patriots win this, they're a dynasty. (It would be their third in four years.)

Buck: Patriots defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel is likely going to the Browns after this game to be their new head coach.

FIRST QUARTER

Eagles receive the opening kick. Rod Hood with a great return to the Philadelphia 39.

First play is a pass. Patriots blitz, McNabb scrambles and throws it away.

Second play is a completion to Terrell Owens, who's playing with a recently surgically-repaired broken leg. Had missed six weeks.

Third down, Patriots blitz, McNabb somehow avoids being tackled and instead fumbles. Oops. Patriots recover.

D’oh.

Collinsworth: Every time the Eagles run a spread formation, the Patriots blitz.

Eagles challenge the fumble call and it's overturned. McNabb's knee was clearly down before the fumble. Philadelphia to punt after a game-opening three and out.

Patriots' first play, the Eagles blitz, Corey Dillon picks it up, and Brady hits Branch for 15 yards. This stuff seems so easy for New England and so difficult for everyone else.

Patriots go deep downfield on third and 9. Incomplete and Josh Miller will punt it away. Great punt, Eagles take over at their own 7.

Fox runs video of Bill Belichick going to the wrong sideline before the game.

Belichick realizes he’s in the wrong place.

Eagles go three and out again. Two stuffed runs to Westbrook and a completion underneath to Owens. Patriots get it at their own 31.

Brady is 8-0 career in the postseason.

Now the Patriots go three and out. Not much offense in the early going - just that Brady-to-Branch throw in terms of substantial gains.

Eagles: 6 plays, 6 yards.

Screen pass to Westbrook works - they get a first down and 12 yards or so.

Collinsworth: Eagles have one of the best screen pass offenses in the league, Patriots have one of the best screen pass defenses.

Philadelphia converts a third and 9, just barely. It looked like a really generous spot to me, but nobody's asking my opinion.

Buck: Brian Westbrook's athleticism makes him the X factor in this game, not Terrell Owens. Aikman: Yeah, he creates matchup problems - you can line him up at wide receiver or in the backfield.

McNabb finds Owens coming across the middle and there's nobody there to tackle T.O. Owens runs for 30 and there's personal foul on the defense tacked on to the end of the play. First and goal from the Patriots' 8.

Collinsworth: That was a major illegal pick play. Officials completely missed it.

McNabb throws one up for grabs in the end zone and it's picked off by Asante Samuel, who returns it for 35 yards or so. Penalty on the defense, though, so the Eagles get away with one. That was a terrible decision by McNabb.

Welp. McNabb makes a throw that's every bit as bad on the next play. He telegraphed it, then lofted it. Picked off by Rodney Harrison and the Patriots take over at their own 3.

Patriots go three and out. Philadelphia gave away the ball, but they'll get it back in good field position. Westbrook returns it to the New England 45.

Good lord, what's gotten into McNabb? First play is lofted downfield again and maybe should have been picked. Don't do that, Donovan. It's a terrible idea.

Third down, L.J. Smith makes the catch underneath, but he's stripped. Patriots recover. That may have cost them a long field goal attempt.

Quarter ends. No score.

SECOND QUARTER

First play of the second quarter: Brady sacked on third and long. Josh Miller will punt again.

Cutaway: Will Smith cheering.

Chris Myers: Tom Brady has had a tough time with the passing of his grandmother. Felt awful that he couldn't go to the vigil because he was preparing for this game. She was 94.

Third down, play action pass, McNabb downfield to Pinkston on a deep crossing route. Great throw, out to the Philly 38.

Oh, wow. McNabb under all kinds of pressure, steps up, buys time, and gets it deep downfield to Pinkston. Great catch. They're inside the New England 20.

Now Westbrook for 10. It'll be first and goal from the 6.

Plays in opponent's territory: Philadelphia 12, New England 0.

Another fantastic throw from McNabb. Rifles it over the middle to L.J. Smith. Smith fought his way through three defenders to get open. 7-0 Philadelphia.

Patriots offense: 4 possessions, 3 three-and-outs, 4 punts.

New England puts together a couple big screen passes to Corey Dillon. They gained 25 yards or so on those two plays.

Collinsworth: Biggest difference between these two teams as you look at it is that the Patriots can run the ball more effectively than the Eagles.

Complete pass to Givens down the middle. The ball comes out on the tackle, everybody is confused, the Eagles pick it up, stand around, eventually decide to run with it, and gain 20 yards on the return. New England challenges the call. It looks like he was down, but there was a bobble during the tackle.

The knee is down and the ball isn’t out.

Yep, call overturned. New England keeps the ball. That was the right call. Aikman says the officials did the right thing letting the play go and checking later. Only problem is that the Patriots had to burn a challenge.

Wow. Great, powerful 25 yard run from Corey Dillon through an eight-man front. Carries a tackler inside the 10.

Brady fumbles on play action on second and goal. Looked like he fell on it, but Philadelphia came up with the ball. Huge turnover and a very un-Patriots-like un-Brady-like play.

Third and long, McNabb rolls and throws it away. They'll punt. Aikman says they change footballs on every play in the Super Bowl and that's why the quarterbacks are having some trouble with grip. The balls are slick. Settle down, Beavis.

New England converts on third down, for once. Brady to Branch for a short gain, but it's enough.

Aikman: Brady's greatest asset is his demeanor. You never see him flustered, and that confidence rubs off on his teammates.

Brady to Troy Brown inside the 10. First and goal for the Patriots as we reach the two minute warning.

Second down, David Givens is wide open in the end zone and Brady finds him. Touchdown. Tie game, 7-7, with 1:10 left in the first half. Lito Sheppard completely blew that coverage.

Wide open. It’s never a good sign for the defense when a receiver waves.

Good kickoff return out to the 41, but it's coming back. Holding on the Eagles.

Eagles go no-huddle as time begins to tick away. McNabb to Pinkston out to the 40. Timeout called. 0:10 left in the half.

Next play is an incomplete pass. 0:04 left, so you'd assume they'll either down this or chuck it into the end zone.

...or run a draw play. Westbrook gains 20 or so meaningless yards as the half ends. 7-7 at the break.

HALFTIME

This is a recording of the halftime show from the local Boston affiliate. Commercials: NASCAR, local car dealership, MC Hammer for Nationwide - "Life Comes At You Fast", McDonalds breakfast sandwiches, Jeep Grand Cherokee, Michaels diamonds.

First half highlights.

Jimmy Johnson: You're going to have a low-scoring game when you have two good defenses, regardless of the offenses.

Halftime show is Paul McCartney. So that's good.

Promo for The OC, promo for House, promo for the NFL Network.

McCartney. Drive My Car, Get Back, Live and Let Die, Hey Jude

They spelled out “na na na na” in the stadium during Hey Jude. Because of course.

THIRD QUARTER

Patriots receive the kickoff.

Third and 6. Eagles blitz and the Patriots do what they always seem to do. They pick it up and Brady finds Branch coming across the middle for a big gain.

Brady's last 12 passes: 11-12, 114 yards, 1 TD

Third and 10 - stop me if you've heard this before - Brady to Branch. This time for 16. Branch recognized a zone defense and sat in the hole.

Eagles keep blitzing and Brady keeps torching them. Branch again. Out of bounds at the 2.

First and goal. Brady passes to linebacker/occasional tight end Mike Vrabel, who makes a juggling catch in the end zone. Great catch. There are flags on the play, but it's defensive holding. The touchdown stands and Vrabel has his second career Super Bowl touchdown. 14-7 Patriots. This is the first time this postseason the Eagles have trailed.

First play of the Eagles' drive, McNabb to Owens, slant. Nearly to midfield.

Collinsworth: If this game is going to be won by Philadelphia, it's going to be won by McNabb throwing the ball.

Third down, McNabb runs the same deep pass to Pinkston he completed in the first half. It falls incomplete and Dirk Johnson comes on for his fourth punt of the day. A fantastic 45-yard return by Troy Brown, but it's coming back. Instead, the Patriots start at their own 8.

Second play of the drive, Michael Lewis hits Brady as he throws. Ball pops up but falls incomplete. Patriots caught a break. Could easily have been an interception deep in their own territory.

New England goes three and out. Josh Miller will punt from inside his own 5. Westbrook fumbles the punt out of bounds. There's a flag on the play - holding on the receiving team. Oof.

Man, Terrell Owens is all over the place. He's caught a ton of passes. After an Owens catch and a Westbrook run, the Eagles have crossed midfield.

Collinsworth: Westbrook says the Patriots defense is bigger than the Philly offense, but the Eagles are quicker.

McNabb is heating up. Completes a pass to Greg Lewis, then Owens, and they're inside the 30. Lewis again to the 15.

Aikman: Patriots are playing soft and not jamming receivers. Eagles have had trouble when they're jammed.

“Soft coverage” is putting it mildly.

Third and 3, McNabb throws behind Westbrook, but the running back makes a fantastic catch for a first down.

Great catch.

Aikman: Nobody covered Freddie Mitchell on that play. Would have been a touchdown if McNabb had seen him.

Collinsworth: Great play by Westbrook to use the official as a pick to get away from the DB.

Westbrook (#36) uses the official to get some separation from the DB.

DANGEROUS THROW, but it works. McNabb somehow threads the needle through two Patriots and hits Westbrook going into the end zone. We're tied at 14. That could have easily been a pick, but he zipped it through the smallest of openings.

Patriots get a first down on a screen pass. Eagles expected a pass downfield instead of a screen.

Fake reverse to Deion Branch and instead, they throw a swing pass to him . They get 8 or so. Neat play.

Kevin Faulk runs for another 8. Patriots steadily moving downfield. They're inside the 30.

End of the third quarter. 14-14. This is the first Super Bowl ever to be tied after 3.

FOURTH QUARTER

Aikman: Eagles are playing with an 8 man front but the Patriots are still chewing them up with interior runs.

Eagles yelling "watch the screen!" before the snap. It's a screen and it works. Kevin Faulk gets inside the 5. First and goal.

An easy touchdown for Corey Dillon on first down. Patriots on top 21-14.

Third and long, McNabb chucks it deep but it's out of bounds. Receiver never had a chance. Johnson will punt again.

Collinsworth: The story of the game is these young Patriots cornerbacks. They're playing an unbelievable game.

Second and 13 on the Patriots' drive, Deion Branch makes a great catch, taking it away from DB Sheldon Brown. Perfect coverage, but Branch was even better. 19 yard gain.

Aikman: I've always said a great throw beats great coverage, and we just saw that.

That catch was Branch's 11th of the game, tying the all-time Super Bowl record. (Dan Ross in XVI, Jerry Rice in XXIII.)

Roughing the passer is tacked on to the end of the play. Patriots inside the Philadelphia 20.

Patriots stall inside the Eagles 10. Chip shot field goal coming from Adam Vinatieri. Got it. 24-14, 8:40 left on the clock.

Aikman: If the Patriots win this game, it's a more impressive run than when the Cowboys also won three out of four in the 90s.

Fox graphic: No team has ever won the Super Bowl after having trailed by 8+ points in the second half.

A big gain from McNabb to Owens on a slant. It's single coverage and he made the cornerback miss on the tackle.

T.O. leaves a cornerback in the dust after a video game-type move.

Next play, McNabb throws high over Dorsey Levens and it's picked off by linebacker Tedy Bruschi. For a second or two, I think people are booing McNabb, but then I realize they're probably saying Bruuuuuuuuu.

6:00 and counting, third down for the Patriots. Aikman says the game is over if the Eagles don't get a stop. The Eagles get a stop. Miller punts, Eagles get it at their 21.

Cutaway: Owens during the break, on the sideline telling McNabb to relax.

Eagles driving VERY slowly here. 4:30 and counting, they need two possessions and they haven't even crossed their own 35.

They're driving slowly but they are driving. Third and long completion to Terrell Owens and the Eagles are close to midfield with 3:30 left.

Eagles just standing around, blowing all kinds of time, actually having huddles and walking to the line of scrimmage like it's no big deal. 2:30 and counting, still haven't gotten to the New England 40. McNabb is calling the team into a huddle?!? What is he doing?

No, that’s fine, take your time. Perfect situation for a huddle and to snap it with 11 seconds on the play clock.

Short pass complete to Westbrook. Gets to the 30 as we hit the two minute warning. Still down 10 points.

They're not dead yet. McNabb throws into the end zone and Greg Lewis makes the grab. It's 24-21 with 1:48 on the clock.

Collinsworth: Eagles have already used a timeout. Have to onside kick here because they only have two left.

Onside kick bounces right to Patriots TE Christian Fauria.

Patriots run on first and second down, burning both Eagles timeouts. They also run on third down. Stuffed. They'll punt with less than 1:00 left, trying to pin the Eagles deep. They do. It's downed at the Eagles 4.

0:46 left on the clock, Eagles at their 4, no timeouts, needing a field goal.

First play, McNabb tries to throw it away but Westbrook catches it. Burns 15 seconds. Next play is incomplete.

0:17 left, 3rd and 9 from their own 5. We're at the point where a field goal isn't even an option. They need a touchdown.

Rodney Harrison picks off the third down pass. Game over. Well, not technically. 9 seconds left, but all Brady needs to do is take the snap and kneel.

Final score: New England 24, Philadelphia 21

Collinsworth mentions that the Browns fired Belichick. Leave it to a Cincinnati guy to twist the knife on Cleveland.

POSTGAME

James Brown: Boston Tea Party started a revolution. Boston Three Party started a dynasty. He must have been so proud of that line.

They play the Star Wars theme as the trophy ceremony begins, which is weird. Terry Bradshaw congratulates the Patriots and turns it over to Emperor Palpat...I mean Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

Tagliabue: Patriots join the elite teams in the history of the NFL. Nine consecutive playoff wins, tying the Packers. I'm giving you the Vince Lombardi Trophy and Vince Lombardi himself would be proud of you and your team.

Robert Kraft: New England fans are the best that any team could wish for. I'm proud we were able to win this stressing team and not individual accomplishment.

Bill Belichick won't respond to Terry Bradshaw's question about a dynasty. Artfully deflects and congratulates his players and coaches.

Bradshaw to Brady: You know this isn't this easy, right? Brady: I know that.

Deion Branch thanks God, the coaches, and his teammates. Bradshaw tells Branch he's won the MVP award, which obviously makes Branch a happy guy.

[kanayawait]

of new apartments and ikea shopping

Note: this fic was commissioned by the lovely @naranciiia !! thank you so much for this!! it was fun to write i added a cute little scene at the end too. read it here on ao3!!

    Being out of the game was sort of a relief for the players. Calliope had reset their timeline, and universe by using her powers as the Muse of Space. It was a success, which was a small surprise for everyone since things didn’t typically go their way. It had recreated both Earth and Alternia, which orbited around the same sun together. Travel had become a common thing between the two planets, with trolls visiting Earth, and vice versa. It was refreshing not to fight monsters all the time, and and not having to worry that they could die any second. They could do their best to resume life as it was. Or, as close to it as they could.

    Dave and Karkat had moved in together, after taking to each other during the game. Dave suggested it around the time they were returning to the planets, and Karkat had agreed.

    It took a long time, but after a little help from Rose, they had found an apartment. It was a bit small to Dave’s standards, since he was used to a penthouse, but it was just the right size for the both of them. One bedroom, a guest room, two bathrooms (to Karkat’s request, since Dave took “a rather fucking long time doing his damn hair, for someone who didn’t have that much.” and “some other people have to take a piss.”), a kitchen, and a living room.

    Choosing the decor didn’t take as long, but it was a rather amusing conversation for the blond. Karkat prided himself on being an expert on the matter because, after all, Kanaya was his best friend. He learned the skill of creating color schemes from her. Dave suggested funky colors for their home to mess with him. Bright green walls with dark purple trim, or neon pink trim with a soft orange walls. Karkat nearly lost his head at all the joke suggestions, but they finally decided on red walls with white trim for their bedroom and bathrooms, and browns for the living room and kitchen.

    All that was left to do was buy the furniture, which prompted a trip to Ikea. Dave explained the concept of the store to his boyfriend, joking the store was a maze, and he hoped that they would find their way out of it. And that if they weren't able to find their way out, he hoped a worker could find them in order to make it out in one piece. Karkat rolled his eyes at the comments, but smiled. Dave’s rambling was something Karkat secretly loved; he found it adorable.. Though, he would never tell Dave that, not in a million years.

    The size of Ikea was shocking to the troll. Their furniture stores surely weren’t that big. Karkat recalled a movie theatre  that size, but nothing else came to mind. A hive for highbloods? Those get fucking gargantuan in size. Feferi's might even be an equivalent to this goddamn store. Fucking privileged-ass highbloods, he threw in. Dave wondered exactly how many trolls there were on Alternia if there was a movie theatre the size of Ikea.

    “I still don’t understand what half of these Earth terms mean.” Karkat announced as they walked through the aisles. “What the fuck is a bean bag? I thought we were here for furniture, not food! I don’t even see any food around here.”

    “No, okay so, bean bags are chairs that are spheres of fabric stuffed with plastic beads that we dubbed ‘beans.’ They’re light and kind of squishy? It’s an absolute nightmare to try to explain, but you’ll understand when you see it. They’re super comfortable, you wouldn’t believe it. It’s a must. You were the coolest kid in town if you had one. Everyone would be jealous.” Dave rambled, a grin plastered to his face as he recalled the beanbag he'd conjured for his land, the comfort of the seat still something he longed for.

    First on their list was a bed, queen sized. There were plenty of beds and bedspreads to choose from. They ended up choosing the bedspread before the actual bed, since it was easier to decide on. Simple white sheets with red highlights. It matched the room nicely. Rose and Kanaya would be proud of their coordination. The bed, on the other hand, was harder to pick out. Some were too soft, and some were too hard. He was just waiting for Karkat to sit down on one and say, “This one is just right.”

    “Human beds are the weirdest beds to ever have existed in the history of this goddamn universe, and it’s only existed for a little while now. Like, where’s the slime? How do you sleep at night without it? I don’t understand your species.” The troll raved as he sat down on the bed, though his expression turned content once he was settled on the mattress.

    “The softer they are, the better. It’s like sleeping on a cloud.” Dave replied, plopping down next to the other.

    “You can’t actually sleep on a cloud. That’s scientifically impossible. Harley would agree with me here. Though, I guess this is the closest to a cloud that I could think of. If they were soft. Trolls don’t fantasize about that sort of thing.”

    “Yeah, dude, it’s a simile. A comparison using like or as. But, you like this one, huh?”

    Karkat nodded, and the two went in search of a couch, that was nearly as soft, a table, chairs, appliances, lighting, the whole nine yards. Anything wood that they bought was darkwood, since it would match the kitchen and living room. They both decided that they didn’t really need a TV, they could just watch Netflix on their laptops. Karkat had bought an abundance of pillows, more than they ever needed, so he could form a pile for “feelings jams.” They found most everything on their list, and they were about to call it a day when they found an aisle full of bean bags. Dave’s crimson eyes lit up behind his dark shades.

    “Oh fuck yes,” He exclaimed, plopping down on a bright red one that was big enough for the both of them. “Now this is a bean bag chair.”

    “We are not going to get an oversized lump for our bedroom.”

    “Come on! You can’t knock it ‘till you try it.”

    Dave held out his hand for Karkat, who begrudgingly took it. The blonde dragged him down on the chair, a small yelp coming from his boyfriend’s lips. They had to shift in order to settle properly, but once they were, Dave slung an arm around Karkat’s shoulders. A smug smile settled on his lips as the other seemed rather comfortable where they were.

    “Can we get it now ?” He asked, an eyebrow raised.

    “Fine.” Karkat replied with a roll of his eyes.

    The apartment was furnished once they got all the pieces to their home, and as soon as they put them together. Karkat ended up walking away from the room because he was so upset, and Dave called Dirk to help him finish. As soon as they were finished, Dave fell backwards onto the couch, as Dirk returned to his own home. Karkat padded back into the room, in awe at all the furniture. He noticed Dave lying on the couch, walking over to him, and lying right on top of him.

    “Oof,” Dave groaned, wrapping his arms around Karkat’s middle, “give a guy a little warning. You weigh like a hundred pounds.”

    “One thirty, actually. According to Earth measurements.” He replied, resting his head on Dave’s chest. He hummed happily, letting his eyes slip shut.

    “You did awesome with the colors. We’ve probably got the coolest house out of all our friends. You got some real skill. I gotta get Kan to teach me sometime. You could go into interior design.”

    Karkat snorted at the idea, and Dave carded his fingers through his hair. The two sat in silence for a while, never uncomfortable. Karkat listened to his boyfriend’s heartbeat, their breathing beginning to sync. He was just about to speak up and suggest they host a small party to show off their amazingly fantastic hive, when he heard a soft snore coming from the other. He had to muffle himself to keep from laughing. Karkat hadn’t realized that building the furniture had tired him out so much. He carefully sat up, looking from his place on top of Dave for a blanket to wrap around the both of them. He sighed when he saw that there was no blankets where he could see them. There were the ones on the bed, but he wasn’t about to grab the comforter.

    Karkat shifted back to rest his head back on Dave’s chest. He let his eyes close again, a small smile forming on his grey lips. Looks like they’d have to go back to Ikea to get some small blankets. Throw blankets, Rose had called them. Though, he would save that for later. Right now, they’d enjoy their new home, and take a well deserved nap.