#din tried to record it but the holo is just static

[feralsunspotandtincan]

Luke: Hey, thanks for taking me to the dentist.

Din: No problem.

Luke: Did I do anything weird after they gave me anesthesia?

Din: Well, immediately after you woke up, the chair started floating and you told everyone how they were gonna die.

Luke: Was I right?

Din: ....I mean, you didn't kill them or anything, so... I don't know yet.

Din: Probably though.

[poweredbycoffeeandwine]

May As Well Be, Day 1: Disheveled

Tavrien Shepard was startled awake from a dead sleep to a sudden jolting awareness. Flashing lights accompanied the blaring alarms insisting the Normandy was under some duress of unknown degree. The holo display marked the time at 0300 hours making her curse loudly.

“Pressley? You copy?” Static filled the coms and her gut clenched, dread forming in icy tendrils of panic, her mind jumping into overdrive. Her first thoughts were of number of situations she would find her ship in. Hopefully they weren’t being outright attacked. Strange conspiracy theories aside, she didn’t think Saren would be openly engaging the Normandy when he was working so hard to appear innocent. Anderson, who had only just stepped down from command, would not be amused over how soon she was able to attract trouble in his new ship.

With a quick head shake, she fought for clarity and calm to take over. It was easy to forget the price of acting without information, of assumptions, and she was determined not to make that mistake again. The Battle of Elysium taught her that much.

“Joker?” she tried again. Yet again, only white noise continued to sound across channels. It was important her crew believed she had confidence in them, it wouldn’t do to immediately micromanage every problem, but her reputation was at stake. Moving before she was aware she’d taken a step, Shepard sprinted to the CEC in a mad dash. Later, she would reflect on the startled looks on the members of the crew on duty at the sight of their CO running wildly through the ship in pajamas.

One glance around zeroed her focus to the bridge, but getting there required her to shove through a small crowd surrounding the cockpit. With a crew of roughly 50 members, she was surprised how many of them were present, surely some of them were supposed to be off duty. Finally, in the front of the group she decided she was still dreaming, and the sirens were some surreal battle induced element to her unconscious state because what she was witnessing could not be real.

Joker lay prone on the floor, in obvious pain though he was trying to save face; Dr. Chakwas worked diligently at scanning his legs to evaluate for damage. Ashley looked decidedly like she was trying to check her laughter.

“Alright,” she yelled over the din to bring attention to herself, “what is going on in here?”

“Commander,” her fallen pilot began through gritted teeth, “I’m sorry.” He hissed, jaw tightening, mouth pulling into a grimace, skin tone blanching before he fell silent.

“It seems,” Karin responded, voice cool as she examined the readings on her tool, “that Flight Lieutenant Moreau fell out of his chair breaking the console in his descent.”

“Yeah, it was an accident…”

“You didn’t fall,” Ash started a combination of guilt, mirth, and apology in her eyes, “I scared you out of you chair. You looked like cats in those vid compilations who are afraid of cucumbers. You should have seen it, Shep.” She did laugh then, wiping free flowing tears from her eyes.

“Yeah, well…” sheepishness coupled with his pained wince as he continued, “you shouldn’t sneak up on people like that!” He grunted again, “No telling what delicate maneuvers I could have been handling.”

“Oh, I almost witnessed the maneuvers,” she guffawed loudly. “I was only trying to set the record straight, there is no way an Asari could actually perform that act. Has to be a fake.”

Shepard put her hand up insisting the conversation be dropped. “Everyone clear-out, you have jobs to do.” She rubbed at her temple disbelief over the situation and the constant alarms were causing a headache, “As I am reasonably sure we aren’t in immediate danger from anything other than Joker’s extracurricular activities, will someone please shut that alarm off?”

“Working on it, ma’am.”

Shepard looked to the source of the disembodied voice, belatedly realizing Lieutenant Alenko was on his his back, entire torso hidden beneath the nearby console. As if by magic alarms ceased blearing, but her ears continued ringing in place of the noise.

He pulled himself out from under the controls, sleep pants slung low on his hips, white Alliance tee slicked with perspiration. Tavrien knew he was attractive, anyone with eyes could see it , but this was ridiculous. He looked like a male pin-up in a cheesy calendar boasting sweaty mechanics or firemen in various objectifying poses. The too long pause before her brain jump-started must have been noticeable given the light flush creeping across his cheeks.

“Um…it’s taken care of.” Alenko was probably appalled she had been staring at him like some sort of sexually frustrated deviant. Her only hope was that he wouldn’t report her for sexual harassment. Though, the way his eyes covertly traveled the length of her bare legs made her rethink the situation entirely. Giving thought to the likely state of her own sleeping attire, and the tendrils of hair slipping from the elastic of her ponytail, she cringed inwardly.

“Great, thank you,” she replied licking her lips and crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Well, carry on everyone. And Joker,” she huffed lightly trying to cover her embarrassment, “maybe you should save the maneuvers for your bunk.” She moved quickly to her quarters, struggling not to run from the darkening gaze and small knowing smile of her handsome Lieutenant. Sleeping would be next to impossible, but it wouldn’t be because of sirens and flashing lights.