#didnt proofread this so i hope it still makes sense i'll go back to it later jfdfkf

[woozi]

Hi!! Can I ask you if you have any advice on how to only colour one part of a gif? Like you did with your Jeonghan bday set? I have a hard time figuring it out ㅠㅠ

hey bestie!! it def is v challenging, i also find it quite difficult at times so don't feel too discouraged!

i think the way i'd go about it differs on a case to case basis, especially considering the color i'm going to be changing, but here's a very basic guide/a gist of how i do it <3

for me, the easiest colors to manipulate are blues and cyans so i'll be using scenes with them on this example!

this is my base gif

i usually do a preliminary coloring first majorly bc of the skin before adjusting/changing the color im trying to play with. here is how it currently looks like

and now we play with the colors!! go to your adjustments layer and select "selective color", the next panel should appear

you can try to slide the panels around to make sure you're augmenting the color that you want. i just like doing it because sometimes greens read as yellows, etc, hehe. now. what im trying to change here are cyans bc of cheol's background. the first thing i like doing is reducing the "shades" available by trying to make it one solid color. given that his background also has hints of blue in it, i first move the sliders around to my liking to achieve this.

now that i have a more cyan background, i can choose to repeat that step to make it more solid, but in this case i'm satisfied so i wont do that lmao 😭 now i boost the cyan itself to make it more vibrant. more vibrant colors are easier to change later on!

now for the fun part!! we use hue/saturation to finally change the colors. since i'm changing cyans, i'm going to select cyan and just move the slider to the color i want. in this case that's red!

and there you have it! you can also move the saturation and lightness sliders to augment the color to your liking. here are other color examples and their equivalent sliders too (just bc i enjoyed making this lmao)

you can always do more coloring on top of it too in case the skin got messed up, hehe. hope that made sense! sorry its a little all over the place my brain just got fried from class fdjfdjfdj if you have more questions don't hesitate to ask, i'd be more than glad to answer them <33 hope this helps!!

[mackenzielovee]

Phases was so cute 🥺 The way Rafe picked her up when she was sleeping 🥺 I noticed in your Q/A when you were asked what are Rafe and Y/N turn ons about each other, you replied all she has to do is breathe lmao! Can you please do a blurb where Rafe is like watching her while she’s busy and he jokingly asks for another baby and it’s all fluffy. I hope this makes sense lol! 🥰

a/n: happy sunday bestie!! i switched this up a little tiny bit so i hope you don't mind, i took your idea and ran with it so hopefully you enjoy!! xoxo (i didnt have time to proofread sorry!)

Warnings: swearing, mentions of possible pregnancy, intoxication, dad!!!rafe

series masterlist

ambivalence blurb: please stand by - rafe cameron

Connor Cameron is two years old today. Through your shock and inability to believe your baby boy is two years old already, you'd organized a party for him at the Camerons. With the help of Rose, your mom, Sarah, and Maddie, it seems to be going as smooth as a two year-old's birthday party can go.

"Y/N, where do you want presents?" Maddie asks, holding up a box that had been handed to her and showing off the diamond on her left hand in the process.

"Coffee table in the living room?" you more or less ask, watching her nod.

"I'll get Kelce on it," she smiles as she hurries off to find him.

Sarah's across from you at the island in the kitchen, setting out more drinks for guests. Most everyone is outside by the pool, Rafe and Connor included. You glance up at her just as Topper walks in from outside, empty beer bottle in hand.

"Hi, guys," he says quietly, then walks over to your side of the island and presses a kiss to your cheek, "You did a great job with the party, Y/N."

"Thanks, Top," you smile, then reach across the island and grab a beer out of the cooler for him.

As your eyes drift over Sarah and back to Topper, you notice the tint of pink in her cheeks that hadn't been there before. A smirk plays across your lips, which you quickly wipe away as he twists off the bottle cap.

"Actually, Sarah did most of it," you continue, watching her eyes widen and dart up to you, "She has a really good eye for this kind of thing."

Topper looks over to Sarah and gives her a genuine smile, "Looks great."

Her face flushes even more at that. Her hands have now balled up, as if trying to relieve some of the tension in her body.

"Thank you," she barely whispers.

You watch as Topper's eyes rake over her features, his own cheeks growing a little pink under the light of the kitchen. He continues to smile at her as his eyes glaze over, a feature you knew all too well from your own lovesick boy.

"Are you too busy to have a drink?" Topper finally speaks up, looking only at Sarah.

"Um," she glances up at you, watching you shake your head vigorously, yet subtly, "I guess not."

"Great," he grins, "You still into those watermelon white claws?"

Sarah's mouth falls open, most likely at the fact that he still remembers that.

"They're the best flavor!" she defends.

"Sure," he scoffs, "Come on, I think I saw some at the bottom of the cooler outside."

Even though neither party says a word to you as they exit, you can't help but cheer to yourself at the fact that they're finally getting closer. You'd been watching the exchanged stares, glances, and mutual pining for months now, after Topper drunkenly confessed to you that he'd like to give Sarah another chance.

You'd seen such a change in her over the years, graduating high school and becoming an aunt seemed to really help her grow up. She's been single since John B broke up with her years ago, claiming that she really wanted to spend that time working on herself and becoming someone people could respect. Now, the two of you have brunch on Sundays and gossip again like you used to when you were younger.

Just as you finish your little cheer, Rafe's figure appears in the doorway leading into the house. You knew he'd come to find you eventually; his inability to lose sight of you for too long completely and utterly predictable. His back is to you, yelling something to Scott about 'not letting Connor down while around the pool'.

When he turns, your eyes rake over him from head to toe; the stubble lining his jaw, the collar of his shirt wrinkled on his left side, his hand firmly wrapped around an empty bottle. You grab him another and twist the top off, meeting his eyes as you walk across the kitchen to him. He's wearing the polo you'd gotten him for his birthday a few years ago, the one with Connor's name stitched into the shirt pocket. He grins when he eyes you checking him out, wasting no time backing you up and pressing himself against you.

"Hi," he grins.

"Hi," you reply, "Need another?"

Your hand comes up to hand him the beer bottle you'd retrieved for him. He sets his empty bottle down on the counter behind you and then plucks the full one from your grasp.

"Thank you," he says quietly, eyes zeroing in on your mouth.

"Your collar is messed up," you tease him.

"Can you fix it for me, please?"

You nod and reach up, fingertips brushing the skin on his neck as you tuck his collar back into place. His mouth twitches upward at the feeling of your skin on his own; his mind and body perfectly inebriated from the amount of beer he's consumed since his best friends arrived.

He tucks his head down, nose brushing against yours as he tries to angle you just right. You laugh and press a chaste kiss to his lips, then wiggle out from between him and the countertop. He groans but lets you go, watching as you pick up the now refilled cooler to take outside.

"Connor's been asking for you," he says, removing the cooler from your hands and carrying it himself.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm," Rafe hums, "Told him I'd come find you."

You smile and lead him outside, clocking Connor right away, running around in the yard as he's being chased by Scott and Wheezie. Sarah and Topper are tucked away, chatting in the shade. Kelce and Maddie emerge from the doors leading from the living room, telling you they'd finished putting gifts on the coffee table.

You lead Rafe over to the table you'd set up for drinks, telling him to set the cooler down on it once you make room. He does as told, leaning his hip against it once his task is complete as he watches you start to organize everything.

"Sweetheart," Rafe says, an attempt to earn your complete attention.

Your eyes remain on the bottles; your need for organization overpowering your brain.

"I'll go get him in a minute, he's having fun with Scott," you wave Rafe off.

"No," he says, taking a step closer, "I want another one."

You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, settling on the three-quarters full beer in his hand.

"You're going to double fist at your son's second birthday party?" you question.

"What?" he furrows his eyebrows, "No. Not another drink. Another baby."

You freeze, beer bottle in your grip falling back into the cooler the second the words come out of his mouth. He takes one more step forward, close enough that his body heat warms your frozen arm.

You and Rafe discussed having more children; both of you admitting that you want more. However, that conversation had occurred almost a year ago, and the last place you thought it would be brought back up would be here. Now. Today.

When you look up at him, finally daring to meet his eyes, there's no hint of teasing or joking in them. He's serious, he really wants this. By the look on his face, you can tell he's been thinking about this for a bit.

"Another baby?" you ask weakly.

He nods, "Thought we could try for a girl this time."

You laugh and take a step closer to him, cooler completely forgotten. His hand snakes its way around your waist; his desire to feel you pressed against him a never-ending feat. The only time he's ever relaxed, ever truly calm and at peace, is holding onto you while listening to his son giggle on the other side of the pool.

"You want a girl?" you ask with a teasing smirk.

"Mhm," he nods, a smirk tugging on his own lips, mirroring yours in a way that makes you smile, "Although, I'm not sure I could handle another set of these beautiful eyes starin' at me all the time. We'd go broke buying her everything she asks me for."

You raise a quizzical brow, "Are you asking me to have another baby with you or go bankrupt with you?"

He laughs and tightens his grip, dipping his head down to kiss the sensitive spot on your nape.

"Both, maybe," he replies.

"Hmm," you hum, "And what makes you so sure it'll be a girl?"

"Did you learn nothing with Connor?" he asks, taking his turn raising an eyebrow at you.

You open your mouth to respond, but Scott's voice carrying across the pool stops you.

"Y/N!" Scott calls, "Come on, he wants you!"

You look over and find your brother holding Connor, who has blue icing lining his lips and staining his polo. It makes you smile, seeing Connor dressed to match his dad, having left Rafe in charge of getting him ready this morning.

"Mommy," Connor whines, "Play with us."

"I'll be right there, honey," you yell to him, then look up at Rafe again.

Despite Connor's plea, Rafe makes no attempt to release his grip on you. His grin only widens as he stares down at you, momentarily gaping at the fact that he'd stood in this very spot at fifteen years old, blushing profusely at the fact that you'd come over to swim for the day with Sarah. Now, he stands here, adding almost two feet to his height and a ring to his finger, and yet, a part of him still doesn't believe it.

"Let's give him a sister. He's sick of playing with Scott," Rafe teases.

"Rafe, I-"

"Mommy!"

You frown, then shake your head and attempt to pull away from him. He loosens his grasp and lets you go, eyes never leaving yours.

"He's just like me," Rafe says, "Can't be away from you without getting a little grumpy."

You grin and shake your head, then turn around just in time to find Connor running around the pool toward you. Scott follows behind him, knowing you won't be pleased with this sight.

"Whoa, hey," you say to him, scooping him up, "What's the rule out here?"

"No running," Connor frowns.

"That's right. You could get hurt, baby," you tell him gently, pressing a kiss to his cheek despite trying to be serious. He just looks too much like Rafe to ever keep you serious for long.

"Daddy doesn't get hurt," Connor counters, looking over your shoulder to Rafe.

Even though you don't turn around, you can feel Rafe step over to the two of you. He brings his free hand up to run it through Connor's hair, making him smile.

"Because I listen to Mommy," Rafe tells him quietly, "No running on the deck, buddy."

"Okay," Connor nods, a frown still teasing his lips.

"Now, the yard," Rafe continues, "We can run in the yard."

Connor's face lights up like a Christmas tree. It had taken you some time when Connor started walking and talking to get used to the fact that he worships the ground his dad walks on because of the fact that Rafe could get Connor to listen or calm down in times where you couldn't. Now, seeing Rafe make Connor feel better, you're thankful for Rafe's natural instincts.

"Football, Daddy?" Connor asks.

"Did you bring your football out?"

"Yes," Connor grins.

"Hmm," Rafe pretends to think, "Who's on your team?"

Connor doesn't hestiate, "Mommy."

Rafe snaps his fingers, like he just lost out on his first pick. You laugh at him, watching him try not to grin at you.

"I'd love to be on your team, buddy," you tell Connor.

"And Uncle Kelce," Connor continues.

"I'll take Aunt Sarah and Uncle Scott then, okay?" Rafe asks Connor, who nods, "Great. Why don't you go round everyone up."

You set Connor down and watch as he starts to take off, but when Rafe loudly clears his throat and raises his eyebrows down at the two year-old, Connor retreats and starts to leisurely walk away while yelling out 'Aunt Sarah!'

Rafe takes another sip of his beer as both of you watch Connor walk toward Sarah and Topper, who are now by the coolers getting another drink.

"Wanted you on my team," Rafe whispers to you, smirk ghosting over his lips.

"You'll just have to get used to the fact that there's another man in my life," you tease him.

He grins and wraps an arm around you, slotting you into his side. You fit so perfectly, you always had, to the point where Rafe swears to himself that space was made just for you, only for you.

"So?" he asks gently, pressing his lips to your temple, "Tell me what you're thinking in there."

"I'm thinking.." you trail off, watching Connor drag Sarah by her hand over to Kelce's spot on the deck, "About having another baby."

"And?"

You bite your lip hesitantly, but sigh when you feel Rafe's eyes burning into your side profile. You turn and look up at him, your eyes somber.

"Rafe, we don't have room for another baby in the guest house. I mean, Connor would have to sleep in our room or something-"

"So, I'll buy you a house."

Your mouth dries up with his words, and when you look up at him again, same serious expression on his face, you look down at the beer in his hand.

"How many of those have you had?"

He laughs, of course he does. You just stare at him, waiting for his laughter to subside so the two of you could continue. He shakes his head at you, pressing you even closer into his side, if such a thing was even possible.

"I'm not drunk," he insists, "It's something I've been thinking about. The guest house has been great, but it's time, don't you think?"

Your mind wanders back to the first time you'd ever seen the guest house; after the car accident, after Midsummers, and the night you'd gotten engaged to Rafe Cameron. He'd spent so much time, effort and money to build you your first home, the first place the two of you called yours together. The thought of leaving that, leaving the place you'd brought Connor home to, the place you'd gotten engaged in, makes you frown.

"Sweetheart?" he questions your silence.

"You built it, though, Rafe," you murmur, your eyes wandering subconsciously to the structure itself in the backyard.

"And it's served every purpose necessary," he replies easily, "Besides, baby, it's not like we're selling it. But, I have every intention of getting you pregnant again, and I'm not planning on growing old in my fucking parents backyard."

You laugh lightly and lay your head down on his shoulder, feeling him press a kiss into your hair. You're silent for a minute as you try to work everything out in your head and watch Kelce pluck Connor up from the deck and set him up on his shoulders, leading him over to the grass to start the game.

When Connor's eyes travel around the yard expectantly, settling on his parents with a wide grin that reminds you so much of Rafe, your heart squeezes in your chest.

"I don't want to be pregnant until we're settled into a house," you say quietly, "That's a big change for Connor and I'm not doing the whole moving thing while carrying a baby."

You feel Rafe grin against your head, a quick three more kisses joining the first one he'd left in your hair.

"Deal. We'll look at some houses tomorrow," he replies.

You stand up straight now, giving him your best 'are you serious?' look that you seem to have perfected over the years.

He laughs and clears his throat, "Or next weekend."

"Next weekend," you agree.

Rafe's grip on your waist is still tight, and when his lips ghost over the shell of your ear, you inhale sharply.

"But the second we're settled in, I'm impregnating you."

You grin, probably looking like a lovestruck teenager as you tangle yourself in the man you love so much and blush at the words he whispers in your ear.

"Mommy, come on," Connor yells out, still up high on Kelce's shoulders.

You shift your head and give Rafe a quick kiss, then wrap your fingers through his and guide him over to the yard. Sarah and Scott are throwing the football back and forth while Kelce runs around with Connor, making him laugh hysterically. Topper comes over to the edge of the deck with his hands on his hips, looking annoyed.

"Nobody wanted me on their team?" he questions.

"You cheat, bro," Kelce informs him, as if Topper's unaware.

"No, I don't!" Topper protests, throwing his hands up in the air. Connor giggles from above Kelce.

"Dude, yes you do," Rafe speaks from behind you, "You get way too competitive-"

"Hey, he needs to respect the game of football-"

"He's two!" Rafe yells back.

Topper just rolls his eyes, hands placed back on his hips. When he looks up again, he looks to Sarah.

"Sarah?" he questions lightly.

Sarah just smirks and shrugs her shoulders, "Since you're not playing, could you get me another drink? Those watermelon white claws are just to die for."

Topper's eyes narrow at her as both of you erupt into laughter, but it's Connor who encourages all of the adults to get their shit together.

"Hello," he groans.

"Sorry, Little Cameron," Kelce says as he blindly reaches up and grabs Connor, pulling him off of his shoulders and setting him down on the ground, "Where do you want us?"

"We need Mommy," Connor tells him, as if it's obvious.

"Mommy," Kelce calls, a devious smirk plastered all over his face. You shake your head at him and break free from Rafe, ready to join the two boys.

"Stop fucking calling my wife mommy, dude," Rafe yells out to Kelce.

You glare at Rafe for his language, watching as he realizes what he'd said and clamps a hand over his mouth. Kelce laughs, yanking the football out of Scott's hand despite his protest.

"Connor, don't say that," Rafe adds, pointing an authoritative finger at his son.

"Mommy?" Connor attempts to clarify, but you shake it off.

"Are you ready to play, handsome?" you ask him, squatting down so you're eye to eye with him.

"Ready," Connor agrees.

You listen as he and Kelce figure out a plan, but your attention is only half with them. Because when you look up and across the yard at Rafe, who is not participating in his team huddle but instead leaning up against a tree and finishing off his beer while he stares at you, you smile. Because now, all you can think about is how much more perfect all of this would be if you had a little baby girl here to join you.

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[bloommelon]

Everything Is Blue

WARNINGS: severe angst, suicidal themes, suggestive sexual content, eventual suicide, mental illnesses, eventual character death, unhappy ending, suicidal content, graphic suicide

A/N: please don't read if you're depressed, this is a very sad story but im proud of it because I actually finished something for ONCE. NONE of this is based on real life, it's all fiction. Jaehyun just fit my idea of this character, and I hope no one gets the wrong idea that I tried to glamorize suicide. And also, I do not feel suicidal and I am not depressed because of writing this, i simply got this idea while thinking I should try and write angst. On another note, I hope whoever reads this likes it or at least it makes you feel some type of emotion. Thank you. *i did not proofread at all btw*

Song: Colors by Halsey

✖✖✖✖

August 3rd

Jaehyun and I sat in a field of Nemophila by the river, the sun shining and clouds floating above us eating strawberries and our laughter filling the hot summer air. Jaehyun had taken me to the museum to see his favorite painting an hour beforehand, telling me it reminded him of me. It was a simple painting, blue sky with fluffy white clouds on a sunny day. I'd almost stayed home that day, not wanting to go anywhere due to a flurry of sudden panic attacks that week. "When you're feeling anxious, come here and call me and I'll come as quick as I can." At that moment, I'd been filled with happiness due to Jaehyun's caring nature but I should have been the one making sure he had somewhere to go when he was upset, but his feelings of sadness weren't noticeable back then. Giving him a hug wasn't enough to stop the pain he felt daily just from living. Laughter hurt, and so did seeing me smile making guilt rush through him at the fact that I brought him some happiness, but not enough for him to change his mind.

September 19th

Jaehyun wrote poetry about clouds and sunshine and the color blue. He would have  painted himself blue if it was socially exceptable. Most of the poems he let me read brought tears to my eyes, ruining my mascara. He always wiped the mascara off, then he'd kiss all my tears away telling me that's how poetry should make me feel. I told him many times how intense it felt, the emotions brought out by the poems he wrote and he'd stare at me and say" that's how i feel about you." Intense. Wildly. Airy. Bright and warm like sunshine shining down through clouds. Most people tell you to write when you're feeling blue to get whatever you're feeling out of your system so that you can feel yellow and bright again,but he still wished for the sun to poison him. He wished for dehydration and shock to take him away instead of writing useless poems.

October 13th

Friday the thirteenth. Bad omens were shown, I just didn't recognize them. I look back now and something had been off about Jaehyun that day. His smile wasn't the same. It was crooked in a way that it was almost a frown, but to outsiders it passed as a normal expression of happiness. He painted sometimes just like writing, and his paintings left me feeling blue just like the blue sky in august, like the painting in the museum, like the color of the walls in his room. It wasnt even a sad painting-he'd painted a red rose in a field of baby blue eyes by a river at night. It wasn't even sad, but when i touched the paper after it dried, I just wanted to cry. He'd held me telling me about the meaning behind it. "It's supposed to make you appreciate things and people that are different, but still appreciate the normal things and people too. No one should be left out. That everyone and everything is more than meets the eye, you just have to look deeper." The way he talked made me want to cry, and he could sense something was wrong, but the fact that I couldn't look deeper to notice his sadness made me tell him everything was fine. I pretended I was fine and I pretended he was fine, so that in the moment, I could feel like everything was fine when nothing about that day was fine. That night he'd went home and cried himself to sleep, and he'd almost done something heartwrenching but I couldn't ask him a simple 'are you okay?'. He would have lied anyways, but maybe if i would have pushed him to answer he wouldn't have cried alone that night or almost took a razor to his skin.

November 7th

Jaehyun and I would sit in my room for hours in comfortable silence, him drawing while i read books. He'd been noticeably upset on this day. To the point where I kept asking him what was wrong and was everything okay. He started rambling about death and blood to the point where fear bubbled up inside of me, spilling out into the world and when he noticed I was terrified, he had cried and apologized repeatedly. He'd thrown his drawing pad in the middle of all of this, it getting lost behind my bed. I'd held him for hours after that, hoping he would feel better and calm down. It worked on the outside, and I foolishly believed I'd helped him on the inside as well. He wasn't okay, and the way he had talked about blood and death so freely spoke volumes about what he thought of daily. If only I'd tried to look deeper. Most of us take what we see on the outside and assume that there's nothing more to see and we should look away as to not disturb the normalcy of the world.

December 25th

Christmas day was snowy and beautiful, the sun fighting it's way through the clouds to shine down on everything to try and melt the snow, but the snow was relentless and the roads icy. The gifts didnt matter that day as everyone was together and that made Jaehyun filled to the brim with happiness, which mattered a lot more. That night we lay together wrapped in nothing but the warmest blue blanket we could find, the snow falling against the window and the christmas lights above us in my room shining down us painting our faces in green and red. He was happy, but that didn't mean the pain had suddnely disappeared and that family made the bad thoughts run away, he was just hiding them. That night he whispered how much he loved me , lips against my temple. He told me I was the only gift he needed. He didnt know that he was the only gift I needed, and that him staying could have been so much better. Maybe that's selfish. On Christmas some people expect everything they want to be given but give nothing to others. That year, I was sadly part of the people who expect and was given everything I wanted but I gave nothing.

February 14th

Jaehyun's birthday. I had thrown him a surprise party that he loved, wearing a blue dress with pink hearts on it since it was also Valentine's day. Once he opened his gifts, which was a copy of the painting with the clouds on a sunny day that he absolutely adored and a necklace with my name on it in the shape of a cloud. His dimples stayed out all day, like I wish they would have stayed for life. As a Valentine's gift he gave me a blue rose and a painting of me by the river sitting in the field of Nemophila. That night I ended up in only his blue flannel with marks of his love on my skin the next morning,his whispers of "i love you more than anything" ingrained in my thoughts forever. I'd told him the same, but it didnt count as much since he said it first, and knowing now that that wasn't enough for him to stay breaks my heart all over again.

March 2nd

We spent the day walking around despite him being vocal of not feeling like getting out of bed, and he was a bit angry with me until I got him laughing by singing embarrassing 80's songs and dancing awkwardly. We both danced until we got tired, our legs exhausted and breathing was a difficult feat. I told him that he didn't deserve to be sad and he told me "i deserve whatever the world throws at me" which made me worry about him for weeks. I didnt tell him that, although maybe I should have. I just didn't want to make him feel bad when i started having panic attacks again because of it. He didn't know and didn't mean to, he just was in so much pain.

April 20th

He'd cooked for me on this day, telling me he felt a lot better. He appeared completely calm and peaceful like how some people get after doing things they love. Which he was good at cooking and enjoyed it, so I was extremely happy. He hadn't cooked in months-not like this. He was also baking. He wouldn't let me go in his kitchen. "It's a surprise, darling. Just be patient" Although he acted normal enough, whatever normal means, i sensed sadness coming from his being. After we ate, I felt nauseous. He turned into a concerning boyfriend rather than a happy one which made me upset since I knew he was keeping his sadness a secret. While he went to clean the kitchen after throwing a blanket on my cold body, I felt even more nauseous and after contemplating on whether or not to run to the bathroom my body decided for me. Vomiting isn't something anyone is fond of, and Jaehyun was even more concerned when he found me lying on the floor against the bathtub. He threw all the food away after that and blamed himself for me getting sick, though It was just a case of me eating way too much. Once in his bed, he kept apologizing and ended up crying but I held him and told him everything was okay. He didn't tell me that every small thing affected him so horribly it'd leave him wishing he'd never been born. He didn't know that those small things were things he couldn't help, but his brain told him that he ruined everything.

May 27th

Sitting in the field of Baby blue eyes with him felt different this time. More peaceful. We laid down side by side watching the clouds, he always said he wanted to float in the clouds but not anything about how he wanted to be buried like the roots of the nemophila we laid on. He didn't tell me he didnt want to grow anymore, not by himself and not with me-not with anyone. Instead he told me how much he loved me, that he'd die for me and told me it all day. He wouldn't let his hands off of me, never letting go of my hand or arm or hips. He wouldn't let go. He asked me to stay the night and keot me in his arms until I had to work the next day, getting upset when I left. He didn't tell me I'd only have a week or two left of this. Left of being in love, left of seeing his pretty smile and those dimples he was known for showing almost all the time. He didn't tell me he was looking for reasons to stay, trying so hard not to give up.

June 16th

When I'd woken up, a feeling of dread left me near tears all day. I hadn't seen Jaehyun in three days and it'd gotten late in the day without a word from him which was unusual. I pushed the uncomfortable feeling to the side until I'd decided to leave to go see him after calling him and texting him repeatedly. While walking out the door I remembered that day when he'd terified me with that talk of blood and death and him throwing his drawing pad. Worry filled my being, making me feel sick as I pushed my bed onto the side to find his blue drawing pad.

Tears stream down my face at the drawing I found. In my hands was the reason for all his weird behavior,all his guilt and all of his pain. He wanted to die. My Jaehyun wanted to disappear from this world forever. I throw the drawing pad in a random direction and run. I call all of our friends and his family, wanting to know if they had seen him. None of them had. I didn't want it to be true.

My legs carried me to the field of baby blue eyes by the streaming river, the sun shining down so brightly and the clouds reminding me of the painting Jaehyun loved so much.

My legs were already cramping but I pushed through that pain to find the love of my life laying in a field of nemophila, his wrists slit so terribly blood is all you could see. Flowing from his wrists to drip onto the plants under him, it was so red and gory I stopped breathing, running over to him to begin screaming while on the phone with one of his best friends. Johnny knew something was wrong, his voice got further away as he told Mark to call someone. To call 911, to get help.

In Jaehyun's hand was a a razor blade and I grabbed it, throwing the wretched thing far from us. I kept shaking him and screaming at him to get up. Nothing worked. Around his neck was the cloud necklace, and despite the horror I could see, he looked extremely peaceful, his eyes shut permanently. My Jaehyun was gone, and he'd died where he loved, but he'd felt so unloved to come to this place.

I'd never enjoy bright sunny days or museums again. I couldn't, not when I couldn't see Jaehyun's dimples or hold his warm hand. As much as he wanted to burn, he'd left the world cold. The sun still shined so brightly down on us as if nothing had ever happened in this place.

🌹

[the-settingsun]

We're all gonna die - Edward Nygma x reader. Songfic

Please listen to the song as you read.

Quick songfic about my dear Eddie. Because he needs to be protected. My precisious baby boy. Feel free to request and give feedback I'd appreciate it. Also I dont proofread so point out any mistakes to me.

Gif credit to the owner.

Warnings : Blood, mentions of abuse, injuries.

The evil it spread like a fever ahead

,,What can be lost but never found?" Your boyfriend yelled at you while he took another bottle of alcohol and drank it in one go. The thunder encouraged him to put down the bottle on the small wooden table beside the window. He slowly started approaching you, you were expecting him to insult you again and his words schocked you. He wiped his nose with his hand and smirked ,,Do you like riddles?" He fake frowned ,,Or just the riddle man?". You froze, he found out about Eddie. Only man who treat you right. The GCPD was a pretty small after all. You knew what was this man infront of you capable of. ,,Please dont hurt him" you whispered looking down at your bare legs. ,,Honey, you know its for your own good" he purred into your ear. ,, Please stop" you said as quietly as possible. There was no point in fighting him, he always got what he wanted.

It was night when you died, my firefly.

After he was done with you he left like always. Broken glass, broken furniture and broken bones.

You didnt feel anything, your body wasnt yours anymore, your mind was black. But oh the floor the cold floor that make your skin crawl. Was is the floor or the blood? No one can tell. Cold, as the raging storm outside. The thunders couldnt be heard anymore but the lightning helped you see, always for a split second.

What could I have said to raise you from the dead?

Oh could I be the sky on the Fourth of July?

As you watched the same picture appear before you for hours you gave up. The pain was not worth it. It was time to move on, past the small ligh provided by your eyes that got already used to the dark. You were ready to see the light. It was silence, you cried softly as you slowly pulled your hand from the wound caused by the glass shards.With the very last strenght you had you managed to reach broken table, with one leg missing. Your whole body weight was now relying on it. The crimson shined for a brief moment, another lightning. You fell again getting tiny pieces of wood stuck in your already bloody arm. The pain kicked in as you tried to reach the phone. Every step you took was followed by lightning, displaying the silluettes of broken window on the floor beneath your feet. You reached the phone and pushed yourself against the wall. Looking at your wound and bloody hands putting pressure on it. You sensed you had last few moment infrotn of you. And so you dialed the number

Edward Nygma

1234567891011

Call

Text

Well you do enough talk

The moment you heard the dial tone you broke down. There was so much you didnt do in life, you wanted to

tell Edward everything, have amazing dates, help your daughter with her boyfriends, cry during your son's wedding. But now it was all gone in the clouds. ,, Hello this is Ed.Im sorry I cant currently talk leave a message" you put the phone down on the ground anf sighted.

My little hawk, why do you cry?

,

,Ed? Are you th-there?" Your lips slowly moved ,, (Y/N) is that you? Whats wrong? Where are you? Are you hurt" Ed spoke quickly through the screen. ,,Im home, I dont have much time, I-I-I think I-I'll die Ed. Im afraid" you heard him curse quietly,the some rumbling and door opening. Meanwhile you tried to adjust your position but your hand couldnt support you. So you sat there against cabinet slowly bleeding, looking at the ceiling above, clutching your stomach. You couldnt make out anything from the call except : Jim, help and Ed's panicking voice ,,(Y/N) talk to me please)"

Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?

Or the Fourth of July?

You glanced at the clock, it was past midnight. ,,Ed can you believe it? I made it to another day" you chuckled and hissed in pain right after. ,,(Y/N) please hang on, Im coming, the ambulance is coming, you are gonna make it" This time it wasnt his typical panic voice. Ed was crying. You blinked and more tears fell down on you sleeves.

,,Ed, Im sorry"

We're all gonna die

You heard him sight,,No, (Y/N) there is nothing to be sorry for. Its all my fault" he said and his voice broke ,,I should have seen it, I should have protected you" he let out a sob and began crying and sobbin more. ,,Eddie? I-I, you're right I should have told someone. But please dont blame yourself. Dont" you whined and put your hand over your mouth. You focused so much on your sobs you couldnt hear Ed. ,,-I cant lose you (Y/N), you are the only one that ever accepted me" he went silent. Or was it you?

Sitting at the bed with the halo at your head

Was it all a disguise, like Junior High

Where everything was fiction, future, and prediction

Now, where am I?

My fading supply

It was all too much, everything too fast and too slow at the same time.

Your cries overpowered the sound of now returned thunders as you heard cars going by below your window. ,,It hurts" you screamed in pain as you moved your arn away to overlook the injury again. ,,We're almost there (Y/N) just hold on."

,,Did you actually mean it?" Once again you asked but now with smile on your face. ,,Or is it just faded memory?" Remembering events of last weekend when you two attended police ball, he pretended to be your ,,scary" boyfriend infront of bunch of arrogant officers. Ed cleared his throath and gulped

,, The ball?" there was silence. You knew you couldnt stand up so you carefully started sliding yourself closer to the floor. ,,I did, you (Y/N) are the most beautiful, trustworthy and inteligent person I know" you stopped, only youd neck was now againt the cabinet. ,,Funny I thought you were just bluffing"

Did you get enough love, my little dove

Why do you cry?

,,What happened (Y/N) I thought you two were happy" you went silent letting the thunder be answer. You used your free habd to push yourself away from the cabinet. Now you were just laying there ,,I thought so too Ed. I loved him I did. I told myself" he kept silent you presumed he was close. Despite thunders you heard a train on the other line. The train station. He wasn't gonna make it. There wasnt enough time for him to hold you in his arms. ,,I love you Ed" you whispered loud enough for it to be heard. He took a deep breath. You messed up, but he deserves to know.

,,I love you so much (Y/N), now you cant leave here alone. I-I cant make it withouth you"

And I'm sorry I left, but it was for the best

Though it never felt right

My little Versailles

,,Isnt it funny? I was always too scred to tell you and now" you coughed and gasped for air ,,we cant be together anyways. Maybe we could be another tragic pair of lovers like in the books" you softly laughted before you strated coughing again. It was blood, but at your state there wasnt place around there wasnt blood. ,,(Y/N) It was me who bought you the flowers not officer-" you stopped him ,,I always knew, the wws this little voice in my head that i-i-it was y-you." You winced as breathed. Last minutes.

The hospital asked should the body be cast

Before I say goodbye, my star in the sky

Such a funny thought to wrap you up in cloth

Do you find it all right, my dragonfly?

,, Eddie, we both know how is it going to end. I just do-do-ont want you to blame yourse-lf" you both inhales sharply. You because speaking makes you weaker and Ed because he was having a war with himself right now.,,No" you were silent. ,,No, there will not be anything I'd have to regret!" He yelled and cried at the same time. Poor Eddie, you knew how vulnerable he was. ,,If I die" I dont want you to visit me. ,, I wouldnt want you to dwell on the past. I'll be a dead end. Literally" you giggled a little before Ed screamed through the phone ,,FOR GODS SAKE (Y/N) YOU ARE DYING. STOP JOKING ABOUT IT."

,,Sorry, sorry. I am serious. Do-Do not attend my funereal, dont bring me flowers, dont get involved in the case." whispering you wiped your tears for the first time.

,,Why (Y/N)? So am I supposed to forget about you? If you are telling truth and you do love which I certainly hope you do. You are the love of my life (Y/N)." Once again the muffled cried from the other side of the phone were drown out by the now stronger storm. ,,Because I would break you"

Shall we look at the moon, my little loon

Why do you cry?

,,Tell me a-a-a ridd-d-riddle Edd-Eddi-Ed" you sighted as you felt your breath slowing down every minute. ,,What are the three words that are said too much, but not enough"

,,I love you"

,,So do I"

Silence.

Make the most of your life, while it is rife

,,H-H-El-Hell-Hello?" You coughed so hard your head raised from the ground only to fall back there.

,, Im here (Y/N), Jim is here. You are here. Im not losing you now."

He hanged up.

While it is light

The front door opened and the lights turned off. It shocked your body and you gasped. A figure was kneeling next to you. It was Edward Nygma. The one you loved.

Well you do enough talk

,,I wanted to grow old with you

(Y/N). I still want to. Dont.leave.me" Ed held you tighter and put his hand on your cheek and as he slowly sobbed. Hie glasses were wet from his tears and rain. He was a shaking mess. You looked into his eyes. And smiled.

My little hawk, why do you cry?

Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?

Or the Fourth of July?

We're all gonna die

You lifted up the hanf that was on your wound. Ed quickly put it back, applying the pressuee back. Being confused and still pouring his soul out through tears. You sturggled and released yourself from his grip. You hand was now cupping his cheek. With every little strenght you had you barely leaned forward and pecked edwards lips he was just starring at you, knowing its the end. With that, he pressed you towards him harder and frantically held you thinking you could disappear in every second. With that the ambulance arrived and...

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

We're all gonna die

Name : (Y/N) (L/N)

Date of death : 4th of july