#didnt like the 2nd one but. its done. and i have a duty (i dont)

[meteooru]

Kyle week day 3&4

[meloswifeyyy]

Relationship Alphabet

A - Attitude

Who often has the worst Attitude ?

Well, you obviously. Most of the time because you are hungry or you and Melo just got out of an argument. Melo usually fucks the attitude out of you anywhere, anytime tho.

B - Baby

Who wants Babies the most - first ?

Melo. He often jokes about having kids or when you are having sex he would whisper in your ear  “You trynna have my babies?” or  “You boutta have my babies ” when he nuts in you. He says that he wants 3 or more. You only want 2. You arent rushing into it.

C - Crying 

Who Cries the most in the relationship ?

You. You often cry alone when you miss Melo when he is at away games for so long. Or when your BP triggers, Melo would comfort you. When watching sad movies, or when someone you love dies. Tears of joys appear here and there. Or when you get into arguments and Melo says something wrong or disrespectful out of madness.

D - Dates 

Who has the best Date spots ?

Melo. He would often take you to fancy restaurants in L.A or Miami, or wherever you guys went. Or take you shopping at an expensive place. He would do dates at home like watching movies, have you cook dinner because he cant cook for shit, or he would have a bath waiting on you. 

E - Eat 

Who Eats the most ?   

You. You know damn well you cant survive without food. Its the 2nd best thing that has ever happened to you besides life and Melo. Cant even survive a night. If you would wake up in the middle of the night and get hungry and go to kitchen and try to sneak some food without waking Melo up, he would hear it and go to the kitchen and scare you, picking you up over his shoulder with one arm, and with the other putting the food away carrying you back to the bed because its a little to early in the morning to be eating. 

F - Freak 

Who is the Freakiest ?  

Both of you. You being the only girl that can fuck Melo like you do, and being the only girl Melo is sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to no other girl can do it like you.10/10 in bed. Now Melo on the other hand is a demon in bed. His strokes, hitting your G - Spot constantly with you feeling it in your guts. His 9 inch is almost  always on hard when he is around you. And his tongue is crazy, going in and out and on the pearl AT THE SAME TIME. Crazy right. Spelling his name out on you. He loves when you scratch his back up or give him hickeys everywhere. 10000/10. Makeup sex is the best. 

G - Games 

Who wins the most games ?  

Melo. He would always dare you to a game of Call of Duty or Fortnite to see who would win first. And he would always win. When you would play a game of Uno you would often win and he would be mad the rest of the day due to his competitiveness. But any other game he would win.

H - Happy

Who is the Happiest in the relationship ?  

Both of you. You are always happy when you guys are around each other. Even when you guys just got done arguing you are still happy that he is in your presence. Melo on the other hand is always happy with you around him, he loves to cuddle with you. Its one of his favorite thing to do. He just loves that you are in his presence. You are his other half.

I - Irreplaceable

Who is the most Irreplaceable ?  

You would say Melo but Melo would say you. Melo knows how to deal with you more than anyone else does. He knows all your spots and what you like and dont like. He notices all of your flaws and sees the good and beautiful in them. He knows your body, mind, and soul. No man has a better or brighter or bigger smile than him. He always brightens the mood. You on the other hand are different. A big beautiful smile. You know how to deal with Melo when he is sad, looses a game. You can tell when he is lying or telling the truth just by looking through his eyes. You know how to make him happy. You are the best he has ever had.

J - Jaded 

Who gets the most Jaded after doing something ?

Melo. He usually gets really bored after sitting in the house all day. He really wants to leave the house and do something fun but usually its night time and you would be taking a nap or would be sleep. 

K - Kisses

Who gives the most kisses?

Melo. He is always so clingy and that comes with all the kisses in the world. He kisses you all over your face in your sleep, even when you are sleep he gives you kisses. He loves to kiss all over your body.

L - Love

Who fell in love the fastest?

Melo. He had always had a crush on you and everyone knew you were the one for him. You just didn’t know it until you two started dating. He’s always making sure you are good. He loves your hugs. He was the first one to say “I love you”. He want kids you to have all 10 of his kids.

M - Motivation

Who gives the most motivation?

You. When melo is going to a game and is not having a good feeling about it you motivate him to push through it and win for you. 9/10 he will win or get a lot of points for you.

N - Night Owl

Who is more of a Night Owl?

Both of you. Sometimes when his ADHD is on 10 you guys stay up and listen to music, play games, go on ig live, or just fuck for 7 hours straight. Sometimes you have to tell him to got to sleep or put him to sleep (😏) because he has a game tomorrow and needs all the rest and energy he can get. It also the same for you.

O - Oral Sex

Who gives Oral Sex the most?

Melo. Trust me, you give him head a lot and it’s amazing, 10/10. But melo loves giving you head. He loves to spell his name out on you. Loves to see the faces to make you scream and shout. Loves sharing your cream with you (🥲). He loves to climb under the blanket while you are sleep for some breakfast in bed. Maybe even dinner. His lips make it even better. So glad he don’t got them white genes in his lips (😋😭).

P - Perfect

Whos perfect?

Obviously, no ones perfect but God (🙏🏾). But in your eyes no one else is better for you except melo. You couldnt imagine living life without him. Cant imagine what anyones elses kids would look like with you but. No relationship is perfect. Melo sees you as perfect. Your body. Your style. Your personality. He absolutely loves your touch. He loves touch but for you loving your touch is an understatement. He couldnt imagine his kids with anyone else but you. Cant imagine getting married with anyone else. When you guys get into arguments and sleep in seperate rooms. You barely get sleep because all you can think about is each other. How perfect you guys are for one another.

Q - Q? (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

R - Relate

What traits do you guys have a like each other?

A lot. Both of your favorite food is Chicken tacos. You both love a good game of Uno. You both love sex. Duhh. Both of you guy’s love language is touch. Love playing fortnite together. Love listening to music and taking drives together. Both love lil uzi (we pretending yall💀). Just in general you guys are very alike.

S - Sex

(No question for this one lol. Y’all already know how we is round hea nahhmeannn😭)

The sex. Omgggg. The first time you and melo had sex was. So amazing. Can’t ever forget that moment. Melo is always so horny. Morning sex is the best. Sometimes a little top at the red light can turn into a few rounds in back of the McDonalds parking lot. Lucky enough all his windows tinted as hell. Or in the Victoria’s Secret fitting rooms. You guys could be listening to Chris Brown and he would really take you down, fuck you back to sleep, switch up the tempo, or make you wet the bed (i’m laughing hard ash). The hickeys. The high sex. Drunk sex (drunnnnkkk in lovvveee). Car sex. Balcony sex. All over the house sex ( i got bars.) Mad sex and Make up sex. I could go on. Sex with me so amazinggggg. (i was listening to this song while writing this one💀😫😫😫)

T - Trips

Who likes taking trips internationally?

Melo. He love to take you and a yearly or even monthly vacay. Just you and him. Turks and Caicos. Bora Bora. Jamaica. Iceland. Japan. Africa. Anywhere where you can get away from the world. The different places. The hotels. Being able to fuck anywhere and everywhere. The pools. The different air. (united states ait is so boring). The new food. The animals. You guys love the new places. He loves to see you happy and with a smile on your face.

U - U (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it.)

V - V (Cant find a word, Tell me one and ill edit it again.)

W - Right the Wrongs

Who rights their wrongs after an argument?

Usually it would be you first. If you said something that was out of pocket or melo didnt like you woukd quickly apologize. He would forgive you and still cuddle and kiss you and stuff because thats what he does. Tease you. But he would ignore you until he actually forgave you in his head. Melo would apologize and give you some bomb ass d for and apology. Or make that cute face that you can’t resist.

X - (Can’t find a word for X. Give me a suggestion and i will edit it)

Y - Young

Who acts like a Young ass child?

Both of you actually. That’s what makes you love each other the most. The laughs and jokes, the tv shows, everything you could think of. It’s nothing wrong with it at all. Y’all are always gonna bust a joke out at the right time. Maybe sometimes even the wrong time. (damn, double homicide). You guys love laughing with each other.

Z - ZZZ

Who has the worst sleeping habits?

Probably Melo. If you scooted over him even a little bit, he would probably scoot back closer to you or pull you back over to him. And the only con of that is he snores a lot. (Why this nigga snore with his mouth open?🤨💀). Sometimes if he was awake and you werent he would kiss all over you. He loves to lay on your 🍒.

Y’all welcome. I haven’t pose the one of these in a minute. This took me a whole month and a half. I’m tired as hell. 💀

[anonym0us3s]

I dont know why you sent me that post but here is my answer.@breckstonevailskier

Here it goes

In F1, her abandoning the kingdom was out of shame and fear. Shame that now, they all see her a monster and a freak, at the same time fear, remember Pabbie's warning and horrying graphics to a 8 year old Elsa.

She refuses to return to arendelle yes, but what do you think she will do, return and tell her people, "im here bitches, sorry i dont know how to stop your suffering, but dont worry, as long as you have your Ice Queen, everythings gonna be okay! Long Live the Queen.

Anna, for all her mistakes in F1 is also understandable. She yearns love and companionship. No idea how the real world works due to isolation and sheltered life. i understand the decisions.

The marshmallow incident thou, its a stupid decision.

In F2.

The author of the post seems to me like she is blaming Elsa for something she has no control. Elsa was fine until her mom started calling her. She accepted her powers and responsibility until a siren started calling her.

Also, what do you want her to do, ignore it?, she tried and its persistent. Imagine having a voice only you can hear all day.. you might want to kill yourself after a day..

Also, it relates to something she has been wondering all her life, why she is different, the cause of all her and anna's suffering. of course she will fight tooth and nail to get that answer.

What was the decision Anna made for the benefit of the kingdom really?

She made a decision to sacrifice their kingdom for a mistake made 34 years ago. IT IS MORALLY RIGHT!! But to punish your people by destroying their livelihood and homes for something they dont even have an idea is also WRONG. As far as Anna was concern, she is Queen at this time. She thinks Elsa is dead, that makes her queen. And her first decision is to send a wave to her kingdom?, because some folks feelings were hurt?

IMHO, As queen and protector of their dominion and lands, it is her duty to ensure and put arendelle interest first and other lands/tribe 2nd?

So her decision to destroy the dam is against her country's interest.

Do they really need to collapse the dam immediately? Why not Dismantle it piece by piece. Its not like Anna knows Elsa is a popsicle somewhere that needed immediate saving..

One can argue that it needs to be done coz the her people are stuck in an open field somewhere, but didnt you condemn them the worst fate by sending that wave, they are still stuck in that open field regardless, and you choose a path that put their kingdom under the sea. They'll basically start again from nothing.

For a dam, i find it weird it has no spillway and gates. You know, those thing that prevents it from collapsing due to overload/overcapacity.

In F2, atleast Elsa tried to rectify her mistakes this time, decides to leave alone. Which in turn will make Anna in charge.

Honestly, most of Anna's decisions in F2 has nothing to do with Arendelle. It stems from her fear for losing her sister Elsa, and what she thinks is morally right..

I still think her decision to accept an Engagement from a guy she is incompatible is a terrible decision.

And Elsa, when mommy says do not jump it will drown you, dont. gosh, mommy is even singing the warning. stubborn queen..

[gekimayu]

some (mostly kakashi) headcanons i like

-kakashi’s mom was an inuzuka. would explain his heightened sense of smell and his affinity to dogs. also why kiba came to him for help in that one filler ep (this headcanon has been making the rounds some years ago and i found content here and here and i actually ended up real disappointed when he didnt end up having either fangs or facemarkings tbh)

-kakashi being trans isnt that much of a hc to me anymore tbh, because i consider it canon due to overwhelming evidence so the headcanon is: the only people who know kakashi is trans are sakumo (bc hes his dad and was also NOTHING BUT supportive), gai (bc hes his husband), sakura, tsunade and probably shizune, rin and other healers (bc they have used healing jutsu on him before), minato and tenzo. 

-tenzo knows because he is trans himself (long hair as a child, changed his name a few times, wears a mask a lot,...) and came out to kakashi who then came out in return and helped tenzo and thats why tenzo adores him so much

-gai is faceblind (thats a hc that has been established before and ive seen posts about it here here and lots of other times i cant find rn) and thats why he recognised kakashi as sukea, bc he didnt concentrate on the face, but his body and the way he moved. also why he has no problem fighting a sharingan user, bc he has no reason to look at their faces anyway.

-gai however DOES act up his faceblindness occasionally to piss off his opponents. (fight with young obito or his 2nd and 3rd encounter with kisame)

-kakashi isnt necessarily ace, but is sex repulsed/has a low sex drive due to trauma (and possibly dysphoria or simply not wanting people to know he’s trans), but there is this very persistent rumour among civilians and people who dont know him well and that kakashi is either not aware of or manages to ignore very well. people think he’s a sex god who gets laid all the time and is probably all dommy and suave and really good at dirty talk and shit, but everyone who has spent a little time with him (which is, admittedly, not that huge a number of people) knows he is a recluse and also a weird nerd who probably reads his trashy porn books for the PLOT and almost combusts when he is forced to read lines from it out loud, who loses a fight because hes afraid of spoilers, who has a seriously weird sense of humour and who gets roasted by his genin team all the time. seriously, the only person close to kakashi who thinks he is even remotely cool is gai and thats only because hes dumb in love with him and probably thinks he barfs rainbows. (heres another post along those lines)

-the only time kakashi is ever anything close to ~charming~ is when hes sweet talking tenzo. and even then its half hero worship and the other half is probably pity or reluctant fondness or something.

-i feel like the uzumaki’s affinity towards seals and sealing jutsu is a tragically underused trope in both canon and fanworks, so i like imagining naruto pick up sealing and having a almost inherent understanding of seals bc of his heritage

-after the war sai finally comes up with a nickname for lee and its ‘kemushi’ (caterpillar bc of his eyebrows) and lee thinks its the absolute best thing ever

-after retiring from active duty kakashi exclusively wears either yukatas or the ninja equivalent of an adidas tracksuit

-kakashi had a onesided crush on his straight friend obito and because he was emotionally stunted and had no idea what to do about it his crush translated into condescending behaviour. his death added to his intimacy issues and was also the reason why he wasnt comfortable with or didnt feel worthy of starting a relationship with gai even though he absolutely did return his feelings. seeing that obito had been alive that entire time messed him up pretty badly bc he ofc started to blame himself for EVERYTHING that had happened including minato and kushina’s deaths, the uchiha massacre and the entire 4th shinobi war. so after that is over and done with he is not well™, but he and gai work through their stuff together, have a few breakdowns, heal and start a serious relationship soon after.

so far so good. will probably add more eventually.

[pokefanbri]

I got in touch with my 1st love a couple months ago..hes a half native American & white dude, pretty pudgy now like triple the size of himself in middle school lol. Doesn't have much time left on this earth I feel for him, im glad I know now cause if I hadn't it probably would've been alot more devastating. Doesnt have to wear a mask cuz really whats the point. We met for coffee, got to hang out at the mall & he visited my work, we did talk & clear the air..got some things out that were left unsaid & i gotta say it really did help & we're better for it 😊 we're now cool & no hard feelings.

We used to be on & off in hs but the last time I broke it off with him for good reasons & also due to my mother 😒 If it weren't for him & our own experiences, & then every guy since...I would've have known how much I really love or attached I can be to someone (which has been all of them really but does disintegrate over time & going into new relationships they become just a distant memory as the yrs go by & then ur all about the new guy 🤔 basically right) or how unattached I can get when I just dont love them anymore...(of which has only happened twice)

For the record I've had 5 relationships my whole life...not counting flings..out of 2 they broke up with me.. & they so happen to be the ones i fell hard & fast for...its a common theme but they are the best ones I've experienced & I think I have a confirmed type now that I think about it lol. Im thinking too much again, but..they're top tier unforgettable.

I fell damn fucking hard this time around just like I did Thomas..don't think I got enough of him either...😤 seriously wtf is it with these charming & hilarious, headstrong, smart ass, string bean, stoner, Leo men fucking my heart up after only a few months time! What is the universe trying to tell me! I swear to God in another lifetime they would've been friends its an incredible likeness. History repeated itself it seems..I was so in love with him too, we were only 19 but omg he was awesome & we were ALL OVER EACHOTHER 🤤. He was my coworker, a red headed skinny bobblehead tho, & lived in my apt complex his best friend Danny boy did too in his own, hard core Call of Duty players I remember they high jacked my tv for optimum experience...😒 walking the tv across the parking lot was super sketchy looking lol.

Anyway after Thomas broke up with me for saying the L word "too soon" it freaked him out I guess & my brain cracked from the devastation...doctors are convinced it was the weed 😒 and apparently I ODd on Tylenol...crock of bs btw but whatever...i couldn't sleep & for days I was in a haze til I finally called my aunt for help & all of a sudden I was locked away in a psych ward for 2 weeks so they could observe what was wrong & diagnose me. Had to quit pima college & stop working, put everything on hold for my health. After I came back, Tom admitted he wanted me back but he hated my 1st love with a passion. I confessed I was back with my 1st as he was there at my side & visiting..when Tom had no idea where tf I was, me missing worried him sick. I had no clue & for all I knew he forgot about me while I was grieving over us in the hospital (I couldn't have my phone..knew a select few #s by heart otherwise he would've been the 1st I'd call), I was still dazed & super fucked up from the hospital..just outright exhausted when Thomas came to my apartment wanting to try again....yea I messed that up though regretfully. I told him the truth...I know it hurt him, hurt me too. Never saw Thomas again 😔 he was my 2nd, wonder how he is.

After I broke up with my 1st there was like a 1 or 2 month relationship with a fat Irish dude named Patrick I met from college, he insulted my mom..kicked his ass the curb 😂 yea she chased him away too just like my 1st...but an Irish version..was kinda a deadbeat anyway good riddance. I was alone for about 5 years after that til eventually met my ex-husband matt & was with him for technically 7 years & then that ended.

Long story short I was hit with another love bomb over the past year (T2.0 lol) & the fallout is taking forever to disapate lol...well good technically I don't want it to yet lmao, it feels good to love someone with a full heart except for the fact they ain't here 😔

I love genuinely & with a full heart, ive never had a problem with love, except for my abusive mother I sought approval for....never have I been with someone that didnt want it...didn't want me, until him. If someone shows that to me in a relationship it hurts me at the roots, u don't understand how much it brings out that little girl that just wants to be loved back..to be wanted. It hurts to think im not even worth that. I realize though that he may have his own issues to get past first b4 he can learn to give it back & its not my fault. I should on some things honestly but I don't blame him..not anymore. I blame my own trauma that made me so fucking sensitive & off-putting to him, going from 1 relationship to another without healing first, & not knowing how to function walking on eggshells around a new person trying not to piss them off...not knowing how to do a fresh relationship from the start again....when you've been with 1 person prior for 7 yrs.

I grew up being beaten as a kid, I have no father, my mother chose drugs over her own children, everybody in my family arent like a hallmark card far from it...its fucking tucson ok it's a hell hole. A good amount are notorious for causing trouble around the city, nobody talks to eachother..stays away & fends for themselves, or just killing themselves with drugs & selfishly hurting people around them. Very few of us are really trying to make it out & create life for ourselves but it's really hard to escape because we're all struggling. I cry because I've been strong for way too long on my own, I cry when I think im not good enough. Besides some relationships & friendships along the way for support guess who's always taken care of herself to survive, yours truly. It's a huge accomplishment that I've never been homeless, only a couple times have I had to rely on a friend or family member for a roof over my head & that was just 2020-2021,boy is it good to have connections during a pandemic phew, alot more tough to find someone willing to help. My big sis Lisa, my mentor assigned to me at 12 yrs old cuz my mom couldn't be a real parent lol...she says im a strong princess thats gone through hell & back, she's seen me do it countless times, she can attest to how much of a boss & survivor I am...she knows I deserve nothing but to be appreciated,respected, valued. I'm underestimated all the time because apparently people think they can read what kinda person I am just by looking at me or by word of mouth, hell no very doubtful screw u lol... i don't need anybody's belittling opinions of what kind of person I am ok, how about talk to me & ill see if u in the ballpark lol cuz I guarantee im a boss ass goody 2 shoes that can kick butt 😊. So listen here, I know my worth & I deserve a prince to keep me safe from the big bad world right? I need an actual shoulder to cry on not someone that'll walk away when I need them most 😔 Why tf do I feel like rapunzel & all I get is fuckin Flynn 😂 I'm a queen ok, hear me now.

This will be my 3rd own rented apartment. The 1st time I was a teen & imancipated...had that place for a few years 1st & 2nd love era, 2nd time was the escape from my mother as an adult & I moved away eventually got married. And now at another turning point in my life... escaping a very different hell & losing pretty much everything including the man that started it all, 3rd time is the charm right. Fuck my life sidewinder style. Honestly this is the best apartment complex I've found that I want as my home....its gated nothing can touch me from outside unless I say so, so at least im secure to a point.

Why am I talking and not sleeping 😐 I'm tired, it's 5am now. Yeaaaaa I'm done 💤

[akira-seijuro]

1/3 Last brain pill

I should have been something else. I could have made more days less painful for everyone. I love my family, friends more than I love myself. I can't do it. I can't love myself enough to let them go.

On 27th April, 2020, one of the anti depressants that I have been taking for over an year, is over. My doc, reduced the dosage and I think I'm finally done with it and I was so damn fucking happy. I think, for the first time in my entire life, including my childhood, I don't see myself as a victim anymore. Victim of being bullied, unfriended, heartbreak, academics and most importantly my friends and family.

This lockdown is like shit worst. I can't even imagine people being alone and trying to take care or themselves. It's nightmare. I can't even imagine myself in my pg or my hostel room anymore. I mean, sure I could have survived like I did all those years, but that chronic self care obsession would just make me let go of myself. On May 31st 2020, I'll be officially completing one year of my medication and June 2nd would be my father's first death anniversary and July 15th would be the time I probably saw my friend, for the last time, who totally instilled hope in me. I'd probably never see him again.

I could have been better. I don't know why I didn't. I don't know if it was my best thinking now. I could have been more patient, a better daughter. I could have been more honest, a better friend. I could have been more kind to myself. I lived in fear for so long, I don't care about my last minute anymore. I don't am have any regrets. I tried my best. I don't like when people say 'Poor you, take care of your mum. You had to go through so much at a very young age. Everybody goes through this. Everybody dies sometime. I get it, I understand your pain.'

I think what I wanted was 'It's alright. I believe in you. We'll be ok. We will go through this shit together and finally make peace with it someday.' I did have my best friend saying that to me until January 2nd, 8.30pm. Now I don't know where he is. How he is doing. I wanted to escape my life so badly, I wanted to run away from my bitterness. But it was all inside of me. I didn't want my dad's death another thing for people to say sorry for. It means something for me. Sometimes he means everything to me. Every little piece of my existence belongs to my parents. I love them very much that I can't be this girl who went through her childhood without almost making a single friend. But yeah, teenage is shit. I changed. A lot. I became more open, accepting, strong and brave. I was never afraid to tell the truth, I used to postpone but I know I would do it anyway, I would do what feels right to me. C'mon I proposed 2 guys. It was real. The love I felt. I think being in love makes you feel that everything is possible, mostly that it deepens the hope that someday you'll be happy. Chill. Both are one sided and failures. I've never been loved or cared that way. I don't think I need to. I mean my friends wholeheartedly love me and would go almost out of their way to do anything that would make me feel better at times. I never looked for a fucking replacement of the man whom I loved the most. No body can be that man who chants my name to feel better while in pain.

Rather than hurting people. I think I scared alot of people away because of my love. I guess it's so intense and feels weird. I don't know. I've started therapy for the first time in my life on October 23rd 2016, because I couldn't bear the fact that I couldn't wish the person on his birthday because my existence was irksome i guess. I still don't know what it was. But yeah. It continues till April 30th 2016 while I was in college. Every week Thursday at 3pm, a counselling session. I felt more accepted and more cared for with the space I wanted there. But frankly, I started therapy because I just wanted someone to listen to me and just try to not have an opinion good or bad about my pain, but be with me while I was processing it. I went there because I thought they'd not have any choice but to listen because I paid. But it was the best thing I did in my life. My dad's illness came back again. I mean March 2nd 2012 to December 17th 2012 is not enough. I was a lid. I didn't process shit. I just believed in god blindly and performed my duties of packing, buying groceries, boarding public transportation, learning how to ride a scooty without ever having a cycle, waiting outside operation theatre, outside radiation hall, outside chemo sessions, all while preparing for my bard exams and jee mains. I just blocked it out. All the pain and emptiness. It had to come again. Being close friends with dad, his illness pushed me to the edge of depression and I was meds which he manipulated me to stop after reaching home. I would isolate myself and would be blamed for it later. I would feel guilty that the person, my best friend whomi trusted the most left me to hang dry. Actually 2 of them. Then comes the job.

But I came to Bangalore with my cousin. When I entered royal orchid for my job orientation everyone is with someone and I was all alone. Just how I entered my college. All alone from Hyderabad to Surathkal. I opened my door, saw my roommate with her family came out and cried so much for my dad. He called my cousin and then he came to see me. It's new for him as well. So I dont blame. My dad knew what I needed until he knew he was gonna die sometime soon. I suffered, wished it to end. I tried therapy and meds again but I felt its hopeless and I stopped once the side effects were horrible from July 2017. My therapist was wonderful though. I loved her. I felt like she's my friend and I didn't want to go down that lane so I stopped. Then people told me that I'm so pessimistic to think 2018 December 22nd would be my last birthday with dad. You know it's not the worst thing to imagine the worst, sometimes its callous reality. Some doctor said this. You dont know what your people want whether they want to fight on ventilator or not. But it would be nice to get to know them. My stomach turned in may so much that I thought something bad is going to happen to my dad the whole time. Once he was scared and the practical prank he pulled took a toll on me and I colored my hair blue. It became green. I wanted to cut ties with my family and friends. No body was there then, all my friends were on business trips or we had a fight. But I made a new friend who's accepting and weird. Then another new friend with whom I randomly broke out after storming out of a meeting. I guess I started developing feelings for the former one. I didnt want all that shit because I know it's not going to work out or that it won't be reciprocated. So, I didnt want that shit to make my suffering much worse. So I realized everything is so messed up and I needed help. I stuttered and stammered dude while my dad thought he was dying but didnt. I barely remember what words I spoke or repeated. Well, second time when they called, it's true. Anyway on 31st may, with all the complications I decided I might need meds because even my body is going out of control now. Then on 1st I get that call and had to dye my hair back to brown and go see him there. This time no words came out of my mouth, it's like I forgot all the languages and how to form sentences. I couldn't promise him that I'll come out of depression, so I said I'd try in my head which obviously didnt come out because, well, like I said my body wasnt under my control. Then the only thing I wanted him to know about my life is Ayushman, lets call my first love that. I dont want to name. That I love Ayushman so much but he doesn't and its ok. I called to tell him about my new friends Bhavana and Bennington, let's call second guy that. But instead it all turned out something. But once after all that agony injecting rituals and processes, I came back and the only person o wanted to see and talk was Bennington. Then I realised what I was feeling and I accepted it and felt good that while grieving, I was able to love and not feel guilty about it. True, I tried very hard, wanted to cross oceans for him. I wanted to be there for him. But then I didn't want to force it. I don't know what the fuck I did anyway. Then a lot happened, prathista entered my life and I was loved and accepted and I could feel people wanting good for me. And that's all I needed. Besides the belief thing. Some more fights with my best friend sneha, with whom I got matching tattoos.

Then my best friend, lets call him sunshine had to like go out of the world to save love. I was alone. I was a workaholic. Knowing that someone loved me gave me immense energy to work harder, to do more good. But then Voila, my mom and cancer again. God. I didnt feel that someone is inflicting pain or that I'm a victim. I felt that these things happen and its life. It's bad but it's how it went in my life. I have no control over what happens to her. Whenever I assist her or do some stuff, I keep correlating with my dad's time with cancer. It gets so confusing. Idk. I love my mum too. I grieve. I cry. For both mum, dad. Sometimes for sunshine and Bennington. But I think it's ok. It's not something to feel bad or sorry for. It's a part of my life. I am glad I was able to back to my friendships. Gowtami, Chandu, Bokade are like pillars of support for me. I realised being kind is a way to deal with the crisis. I liked the way I lived for the first time. But I'd do anything for the people I love. I'm not going to force it. I wish them all good. People keep saying I'm strong and brave explicitly. No, I was always them. They are implicit things. Thats my character. Being able to be strong, brave, vulnerable, real honest, intense and sometimes messy. Anyway 2 more brain pills to go and still more therapy sessions. They will end when they should. I am glad that this is something that I did for myself. It's my effort despite all the discouragements I've faced about it. I am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I'm so glad it has a name. I miss my dad very much right now. My mom's chicken curry too. I miss my friends.

Love,

B.

[mabsj]

10/01/20

Part 2...

Soo... On the night itself, after done packing our luggage, we depart from our house... We reach B.Point Johor Bahru at around 9.30pm... Traffic at the causeway was quite smooth... Not that heavy... So we grab our dinner, buy some snacks and drinks, pump petrol and top up TnG and check my car engine to lookout any unneccessary problems like leakage or something... Everything looks fine and we depart from B.Point at 10.30pm... The journey took about 3-4hrs drive to our hotel... That is Pacific Regency Hotel Suites... Yeah man... Suites... Because we are staying there for 5days... So its a long rest for me and my family... My intention is we depart the next morning but the check in time is at 3pm and my cousin ask me the day before our actual date check in if we want to go to Genting Highland on the day... So after discussing with my wife and agreeing to it, I make a slight changes... We depart that night... The journey were quite smooth indeed... Except for fast cars overtaking and dark roads but thats normal...

Both my son were fast asleep... Except for my wife... She accompany me throughout my drive... Lots of her topics she talked to me... She ask why I love to drive long trips for holiday, what does it feel and what makes me want to drive up for long trips etc...

Well... I love travelling when I was still a small boy... My dad usually brings our family for holiday trip... KL, Thailand... Malaysia is enough for us... Except for driving... I follow my uncle go for holiday trip... Its like you are visiting other country that is somehow different sensation from Singapore... Places like you seen on TV or advertisement... Amusement park, roller coaster, hotel swimming pool, whatsoever... But sadly, Im not into that type of person... Im into nature... Thats comes to driving... Why I love to drive up for holidays... Many people do say, its gonna be tiring, dangerous, traffic jams here and there, people wont give way to you whatsoever... But its depends on you... Different country different style of driving... My first ever drive up is to Perak... 9hrs journey... And that journey is my cousin(Sadiq) engagement day... We go there with 2vehicles... One is a ownself driving 12seater van, and another one is a car... So I have to seat at the car as a backup... My cousin know I can drive... But if desperate, Im on duty...

But it happend... They each drove like 2hrs each and when it comes to me, its all the way till we reach to petrol station to pump some petrol and to their surprise, I was driving straight 4hrs non-stop... Hahahaha... Its tiring but the fun of you driving while exploring the view of the nature makes your fatigue gone... Thats how my passion of driving up to another country is born... Because when you see, dont matter what you are passionate with, be it a barber, hairstylist, blogger, traveller or reviewer, chef or even housewife or midwife, its your passion and hobby... That thing makes you feel energetic... And some more, their nature scenery is what you dont get to see in singapore city life... You can feel the cold breeze wind, you can feel different air surrounded you, you can feel the environmental is totally different... Why I prefer driving is because, if you take bus of flight, you have to take either bus or cab which is so hard to get or even found one... And you travel where people frequently go... Is where you see on the internet... But when you drive, you see differently... Along the journey you may found beautiful magnificant scenery... That is nature... Where bus or flight couldnt stop or land... You may not found out yourself by internet but you can only found out by the local people... Thats is why I prefer driving myself up...

So continue with the story, we reach the the hotel at KL at around 1am... Quite fast... I could remember I drove 140km/h with just my car top speed only like 180km/h... The name of our Hotel at KL is Pacific Regency Hotel Suites... Sound like luxury isn't it ? Its an quite old hotel... Like maybe 7-10yrs old... Very convenient if you guys were want to go to KL Tower... It just opposite of the building... Just exit the hotel and there it is, the entrance... But sadly our room view is not facing there... We take Deluxe King Suite... Quite spacious but the view could say upon 10, I would give it 6/10... Ahahhaa... Because we didnt get any nice view... But overall the room is spacious... Didnt manage to get take a photo of our room because we are too tired after a long drive... But the room design material is more on business type... The wardrobe, table, is made up of wood... Not sure what kind of wood maybe plywood or something... Or maybe from IKEA ??? Hahahahahaha... Thats so bad of me... Well... Our task is, buy some clothes materials for my wife and kids for their Hari Raya clothes... We finish that task as expected on our 2nd day... Overall rating for the hotel upon 10, I would give 7/10... Why... Because the parking and the room service... The parking we have to pay every single day that is Rm10... Atleast if I were to pay for season parking I dont mind so there's no hassle for me once I park my car in and out... If not I have to wait till the next morning to get an exit paid ticket and have to get new ticket again... Their system is still outdated... But maybe to me they are trying to earn it and update their system to be better... Who knows... Ahahahaha... Continue next.. on part 3...

[josephdreamer]

An OPFOR Story (pretty long)

setting: Australian outback, massive shipping containers (with rectangular cutouts to simulate doorways and windows) stacked atop one another as makeshift buildings and spread out across a wide open field, with a tall 3-story tower right smack in the middle.

3 Platoons have been deployed inside this base to protect a Leopard battle tank, which sits right beside the tower. This Leopard is the Red Force’s only means of destroying the enemy Anti-Air batteries, and if it is destroyed, they fail their mission.

Residing in the tower is Platoon 2, the most senior batch of soldiers. They’re rowdy, unrefined, and unpleasant to even cooperate with. But the Captain overlooked all that because they are effective. They make up for their lack of conduct with sheer brutality in combat, and it is scary. They prove to the rest of the SAF why our company deserves our title of ‘Aggressors’.

The newest and greenest of the Red Force company, Platoon 1, were deployed facing the west, looking towards the dry and prickly forest. They’re the most inexperienced, but very eager to prove themselves. The Captain acknowledges that and appreciates the enthusiasm, but he will not accept that as an excuse for failing a mission. That being said, they have been assigned to face towards the most-likely direction of attack. After all, the best way to get used to the heat is to jump straight out of the frying pan.

And then there’s us. The middle child of OPFOR Company. Platoon 3. We’re the Captain’s favourite, and he knows we know it. Not quite as enthusiastic as Platoon 1, nor as fearsome as Platoon 2, but when shit hits the fan he knows that we can be relied upon to fight till the last man drops. We were deployed facing the east, giving us a brilliant view of every rising Sun. We overlook a sort of football field, with rusty goalposts on both ends. On the opposite side of the field is a clone of Platoon 1′s ‘dry and prickly’ forest. There’s a dirt road just before the forest, where we occasionally see our jeeps driving by doing patrols. Its a pleasant deployment site, and we like it here.

By now, three nights have passed since the enemy began moving. They’re expected to reach us by now. Dusk would be the best time to attack.

The time is 0421. We are watching the darkness. We are waiting.

I stand on the roof of my squad’s assigned building, two-stories high. I’m leaning on the handrail and looking up at the beautiful australian night sky that is littered with stars. My SAR 21 GL (which stands for Grenade Launcher) is slung across my shoulder on my back, no magazine loaded. Yet. Standing on the roof with me is Vinald, the squad’s designated marksman, with his M110 sniper rifle on the floor beside him. He is smoking an australian brand of cigarettes, bought from our camp back in Rockhampton.  The other guy is rifleman Edmund, who’s stargazing just like me.

Edmund: eh eh, shooting star!

Vinald and I look up in unison just in time to see it.

Vinald: siala. Make a wish lah, hahaha

Edmund goes quiet for a while.

Vin: wow he’s really doing it.

Ed: Of course i would, you never know.

Vin: I never thought you were superstitious.

Ed: Just do it for the sake of it, its fun y’know.

me: what you wish for?

Ed: cannot say eh, later it wont come true.

Vin: Ha! Yeah that’ll be why it didnt come true.

Silence falls between us for a while. I’m just trying to cement this whole experience into my head permanently. The cool chill night breeze, the amazing starry sky, my brothers waiting to fight beside me. Its a poetic moment.

A voice comes in from inside the container. It’s gunner Syarish.

Syarish: Jo! The walkie calling!

I turn around and enter the container, picking up the walkie-talkie from beside Syarish who’s sitting on the floor. Usually the walkie would be kept by the squad sergeant. But our Sergeant, Sgt Samuel, is asleep in his sleeping bag on the first floor. And he is infamous for being a heavy sleeper and not waking up to his walkie-talkie. Therefore as the 2nd-in-command of the squad, i issued a non-official role of ‘walkie watch’ to hold onto the walkie everytime our Sergeant goes to sleep, and to alert me if he is called upon on the walkie. Syarish was on duty this time.

I hold the walkie to my ear and wait for a sound. A few seconds later it comes. I recognise the voice belonging to one of the Platoon 1 Sergeants. I narrow my eyes as i try to make out what he was saying. Uo-oh. I look down at Syarish.

me: Sya, go wake the others up. No more sleeping.

Syarish nods, gets up, and walks over to the other side of the container to rouse the rest of the squad, while i climb the stairs down to level 1. Sgt Samuel is sleeping just behind the staircase. I poke him a few times in the shoulder, and he just sort of shakes himself awake.

me: Sgt, walkie got activity. I think Platoon 1 has seen something.

Sgt Sam: mmmmmmm, ok thanks jo.

I hand him the walkie and head upstairs first. A quick survey of the 2nd floor tells me that everyone is now awake and keeping their weapon close. A good sign. I then climb the ladder up to the third floor, which isn’t very big. Just a sort of roof top. Gunner Chiong sits alone, on overwatch duty, with his SAW (Section Automatic Weapon) beside him. I walk over to stand on his left, and we conversed without turning to face each other.

me: see anything?

Chiong: Platoon 1 has been shining their flashlights around. Not very smart.

I silently agreed with him. I can see their small light signatures as well, erratically flashing around. Platoon 1 was energetic, but sometime they forgot things like basic light discipline. They were potentially giving away their position. But then again the enemy already knew we were here. From the balcony below me, I hear rifleman Davis call out.

Davis: Josiah!!

I look down at him, expecting a vulgarity. Davis points towards Platoon 1 and their flashlights.

Dav: look at those **cking idiots.

I chuckle. Expectation met. Davis had always been the most vulgar of our squad. But he is right. Platoon 1 wasn’t being very tactical. And i was sure it was going to cost them soon enough. I could feel it in my bones; something was going to happen soon. After over 30 combat engagements, you start to develop a sort of 6th sense for that sort of thing. As if to weigh in on my intuitional feelings, Chiong turns to me and asks:

Chi: Is the fight gonna start soon?

I turn to look down at him, and shrug noncommittally.

me: probably. lol

From behind me i hear someone coming up the ladder. Chiong and i turn to see Sgt Sam. He walks over to us, addressing me.

Sgt: Platoon 1 says they can see people coming. Get the squad into position, i’m going to find Sir.

me: alright. Dont take too long k

Together we head down the ladder. I go to the westward balcony and call for Vinald and Edmund.

me: Vin, get to the roof. Chiong will be your caller. Edmund, other balcony, now.

They nod and set off immediately. I loved that about my squad. Despite being the least-talkative detachment in the platoon, i personally felt we had the best and most fluid teamwork. I let the two of them pass me by first before i head down the stairs. I maneuver through the container’s curvy passageway to the entrance, where my buddy Yan is sitting and playing his phone game. He doesn’t look up as i approach, but he spoke out as though he was expecting me.

Yan: semo? they coming already ah?

me: i think so. Platoon 1 says they see people already. When youre done come up to the 2nd floor.

Yan: orh.

I leave Yan there and go back up to the 2nd floor balcony, where Davis, Edmund, Syarish and rifleman Faizul stand. All of them are watching the Platoon 1 building across the road. We can hear voices coming from there by now. They sound excited.

Dav: Those **ckers are gonna be the first to die. So noisy, whats the point of even hiding whe-

Ed: Wait! Quiet!

We fall silent. The raised voices from Platoon 1 become louder, more excited. I slowly move my weapon sling off my right shoulder and onto my left, folding my right hand fingers around the rifle grip. I can almost hear the tension in the air now.

And then the first shot is fired.

[the-entire-population-of-earth]

Amran's NS journey

Basic Military Training (BMT)

Bmt was fucking rushed. Everyone does not know what activities there are gonna be for each day up until the last minute due to the higher upper's uncertainty. But hey at least me and my bunkmates were the most bonded as fuck than the rest due to us always making fun of the commanders and other bunkmates. I was in a leadership batch but one way or another i didnt get to be a commander. Too bad we all split up from each other.

Unit life

1st Battalion Guards

I was posted to 1st battalion singapore guards as a storeman for hq company. I was helping with signal sets. Before guardsman troopers came in, it was a breeze. It was just doing our own branch work and report to the different timings and duties and its all good life. Not as good life though as there is this one specific person who is so fucked up due to his laziness. As a storeman, it was damn easy as it was just using a little labor and then the job is done. Everything was quite certain and routined until the troopers came.

Troopers

When the troopers came, i was involved in a major event. I didn't know how chaotic was the first day but when the days passed, it was chaotic as fuck. They were fucking jealous as hq company had a lot of welfare and the troopers would pinpoint little things such as hq not marching and having more time for ourselves. In my opinion, most of the hq personnels are not combatants so whats the point of us doing what they are doing. But then things settled down as the higher uppers try to ease the tension and shit.

Guards vocation training (GVT)

Gvt was the most fun i had in my ns life. I literally enjoyed every part of it even tho i only participated in the high keys. The high keys were only 10km fast march, 2km swimming and heli rappelling. Fast marches were my toughest one because i cant run for shit. Then came the incident but nevertheless i finished all of it in time for the final fieldcamp and right of passage (ROP). Then came the parade which was satisfying as fuck.

Laundry ic

Since the previous laundry ic had ORD, i had to step up to be the laundry ic. Being the battalion laundry ic made me realise how bad the troopers are being treated and how i was introduced to people that were out of course from being a trooper. By this time, i was considered "lao jiao", old caged bird, who knows the system well and we all knew that the company sergeant major (CSM) cannot fix the duty roster and will always tell us that we last minute have to do duties. Since i am just a storeman, and i don't receive combat pay, why should i have a need to do guard duty whereas there were like around 400+ troopers to do it. It was not as if they have other duties. But as a storeman in hq company, we have like 3 different types of duties; duty clerk, duty storeman and guard duty. Duty clerk is just manning the phone to which we must answer to cater to the caller's needs. Duty storeman is just to open up and close the branch at timings and also make sure all the store keys are accounted for. Guard duty involves to either prowl around the camp or to station at the gate to ensure security for the camp. In my opinion, guard duty isnt needed for a storeman because most of the time we dont handle weapon and we already have 2 other duties. On top of that, as storeman is a combat support service (CSS), we have other responsibilities from handling our stores to issuing items thus the need for guard duty is pointless as it really can clash with our other responsibilities. In my case, it did clash a lot of time due to poor planning for duties from CSM.

Ex lancer (Brunei)

Brunei was chill as fuck, being a laundry ic for just hq company because they have their own laundry department there. As there was not a lot of hq personnel that went outfield, i didn't do much. Out of the 2 weeks there, i only did around less than 10 hours worth of work and then spent the rest of the time catching up on my shows. But the food there was the start of my weight gain because it was really good.

Post brunei

Post brunei was the worst and hectic month because there was audit and then a month after that would be exercise wallaby. Higher uppers hold our bookout times till late afternoon and tasked with bullshit last minute works which they could have done in the time we were in brunei. Then a fucked up person came back and corrupted one specific race of hq. Before Australia, i had only 2 days to pack and attend to my personal commitments with my family and friends.

Ex wallaby ( Australia)

During the flight to Australia, i was in full denial as i didnt have enough time to fulfill my commitments. Australia was fucked up from the day after we landed. There were non stop taskings after taskings due to there were no resources/stores on Australia. We had to unpack and issue out the items while the troopers spent their time resting due to the recent death which lead to safety timeout. We had to load up a lot of the stores to the forklift and then go to the places that are around 1km from each other just because the containers for the stores are far from the issuing point. All of my time was in full denial and might have dragged my branch down but i tried my hard not to. On top of issuing stores and settling accomodations, we also had to take part in operations. The battalion expects us to do all this even though we don't receive enough pay to do all this. There were no such thing as weekend and logistics need to be settled. We actually did overtimed more than usual.

But rest and relax there was good enough for 2 days and 1 night. The motel was ok as i shared with my branch mate and one random guy. I went to a bar for the first time in my life to meet up with my superiors. We talk cocked and did stupid shits to unwind ourselves from the fucking busy exercise.

Post Australia

I was so lazy by that time that i dont even care about shit that i used to care. I even envy all of my friends who are not from the army and are able to see their family by the end of the day everyday. This unit had already thin out all my patience. Other than my opinion, the taskings that im doing are easy and can be done and also our CSM fucked up duties again with fucking last minute duties.

Pre pre ORD

Pre pre ord was the most toxic time as the schedules planned are all so rushed and the CO doesnt even trust the troopers to do a good job hence "more training". With more training comes more store items being issued out, meaning i have to carefully issue the different items. I have changed my jobscope from a laundry IC to a comms store assistant. Its an easy job but everyday they keep asking and exchanging items will make our side of the system to not tally up as i lost track of what is being issued/serviced. Whats more worse is that my QM started playing with off privileges just so we could settle the system. On top of that, the servicing uncles also scolded due to "our poor" paperwork. Honestly at this point in time i wish i wasnt so hardworking so that i set their expectations of me so low. All of these problems arose due to our lack of a regular IC or a regular sergeant. Since we took our past IC for granted, meaning we would always ask him what things there are going to be, like a man behaviour than a commander, we had a lot of things we needed to figure out such as paperworks and who have the rights to the system and who is in charge of us and shit. There was a period of time we dont even know what jobs there are until the last minute we had to do a lot. This uncertainty period really fucked me up because my RQ would always scold me. That's not an issue however but one day I might blow up due to a lot of pressure and thaty really takes a lot of my patience. It was these period that the contractor really blacklisted my unit for poor paperwork but all i can think of is that i most probably wont be working with them in the future Luckily everything finished around later May and then it was a long 1 week break for Hari Raya.

Pre ORD

After hari raya, i had a little shock cause it was a bit of a cooldown period as i was going to almost ord in about less than 2 months. The 2nd month was quite a chill period as i already have 2 understudies with me and rq already told me to slowly hand over to them. But boy, i had the shock of my life during the last month as my QM started saying shit like i never handed over properly to them as they still had a lot of errors. I am here trying my best to teach them but they had a fucking high expectations for me to make sure they will be like me. Thus i tried to ask for offs here and they to "let me go" and they said no. All my other colleagues who were gonna ord near me had already left and im here still stuck. And on top of that literally 2 weeks before ORD, QM gave me 3 extra duties just because of a minor mistake. What a nice way to squeeze out a person. The extra came and it fell on my birthday which makes being 23 damn depressing.

Ord

To be honest, my life in the army was just not fair and fucking unreasonable due to the superior's lack of brains. They think they are doing the right thing and will just shrug off our opinions and commitments. The way they treat people like me is as if they are the only ones that matter. Even though we did try to raise the different problems we faced, they just say something around the lines of standardisation or "suck thumb". And not just that, even if we are given the things we wanted, there are sure people to take advantage of it but all of us must suffer together even though we are not with them. To be honest, collective punishment isn't the way to go in hq because there is a lot of factors needed to be considered. I am just so glad that i got out of the toxicity and continue on to my civilian life. Again.

[folkpunkfishercat]

I just saw ur post abt showing livestock at the fair and that always seems so fun. If you ever would feel inclined to write a post about what the environment/experience is like doing that, I would 100% read it cuz it’s super interesting to me! It seems like a fun summer camp ish thing, but I also could be completely wrong cuz I’ve never done it!

god yeah i’d love to talk more abt showing!!  i think i’ll start posting more stories and stuff but i could tell you a little abt the environment now if ya want!

its kinda like a fun summer campish thing! (but also kinda like a job where you have to deal w a bunch of randos)  

personally i show at a fair around 45 mins from me so i have to stay on grounds in a tent with my 4h group!  (also i have shown at state fair which is like 3 hours away but it has special dorms for 4h kids)  which is necessary because everyone (livestock and people) needs to be presentable to the public before the gates open in the morning (so you need to make sure water is clean, stalls are clean, animals are fed and bowls are removed, poor cattle and pig showman have to wash their animals) staying all week is also cool bc it’s like sleep over camp where you and your friends just fend for yourself and eat ice cream for dinner and stuff!  

also when you arent busy with livestock it is kinda just like a day at the fair just kinda fucking around with your fair friends and doing dumb teen stuff so like! its a lot of fun when ur doing that stuff!

also a lot of fair is really serious!  part of what youre doing (at least at my fair) is “barn duty” where you have to hang around the barn youre showing in at a specific time for a couple hours to make sure the barn looks nice, answer peoples questions, and make sure nobody hurts/steals/does anything bad to the livestock (this has happened before, one notable time is that once a drunk guy hopped into a pig stall and peed in there, security chased him into the woods iirc, i was in the barn next door)  and part of that is really fun and rewarding bc you get to tell people abt the animals that youve been working with all year and your really proud of!  every once in awhile someone yells at you tho!! and that really sucks bc obviously you dont want ppl yelling at you!  especially bc you work so hard with your animals and stuff :(  but most people are nice its just a couple of mean ppl you have to encounter usually!  

another aspect is that youre all competing against each other?? which can get kinda problematic depending on the person!  bc like, sometimes people can get real mad about results, sometimes because they just think the other person wasnt deserving for whatever reason (there was a big drama about this with one of my friends and the rest of my 4h group, they thought another person shouldve placed above him)  or occasionally someone cheats and also says misogynistic shit in the same competition (yes this happened last year everyone was furious),,,  

not all bad competing against each other tho!  most people are really great!  there is this one competition at my fair its called “master showmanship” and its like, the most prestigious competition you can be in! and thats where some of the best cooperation and niceness comes out of and stuff (also where the most tension comes from)  its a comp that you have to qualify for by being 1st or 2nd in you respective senior showmanship class (that is, where you are judged on ability to work with your animal) in pig/dairy cattle/beef cattle/goat/sheep/dog/rabbit/poultry/or horse (meaning that at most there can be 18 competitors, usually due to people qualifying in multiple species and there are less, last year there were 10 including myself) and in masters you have to show every species (excluding pig)  so usually people have never shown or worked with those species so usually people are really helpful!  the girl that won last year qualified in several species i didnt (dairy cattle, dog, poultry *and goat but i also qualified in goat*) and she took me to work with dairy once and dog 2 or 3 times and poultry like 6 times she was so nice! (i did Really Good in dog and poultry bc she was so helpful it was nice and i was really happy she won)  also in the goat ring i had left part of my shirt untucked and my friend who entered the ring behind me noticed and tucked my shirt in for me while the judge was watching everyone else enter the ring, even tho she couldve just left me like that and let me get points deducted for my shirt,, and then i qualified for masters in goat and she didnt and like, i just dont know if she didnt do that maybe the judge wouldve placed me lower???  so like i have a lot of nice stories of ppl being nice in competitions 

and this turned waywayway longer than i thought it would so im gonna stop here but like, i love talking about the fair, if u wanna kno anything about the fair,, ask me