#didnt even smile at the house that turned every inch of lawn into a garden. thats how i knew :(

[comradecowplant]

chronic depression never ceases to amaze me because i've felt like absolute rotten garbage for months but in a Too Busy To Have Actual Feelings Besides Rage kind of way that just sort of bleeds into everything, then i get a job in the city this week where i've worked before and really enjoy but i today went for my usual walk and suddenly the feelings of nothingness were more stark and apparent than they've been in a while and made me realize yeah i guess i really am in the midst of a Bad Time lol

[imagineurfavs]

Liquid Confidence

I'd like to submit a request for a drabble with GOT7 Youngjae, 37, 43, & 57. IMO, there just isn't enough for Youngjae...

Pairing: Youngjae (GOT7) x reader Prompts: “I’m not drunk enough to have this conversation” “Would a friend do this?” “Can you just shut up for 5 minutes please?” Summary: just a drunken confession lol Genre: Fluff?? idk really... Word Count: 1,485  A/N: this is beyond terrible im sorry im apparently terrible at writing anything with any kind of emotion sjghsjgns

Pushing your way through hordes of sweaty strangers, you make your way to the exit of whoevers house it was you were actually at. You’d only tagged along to this party because you had been assured you that your friend Youngjae would be here; but it didn’t look like he’d bothered to turn up. Without his desperately needed comic relief, you really didn't see any point in hanging around.

 Just as you reach the door and go to grab the handle, a clammy hand reached over and rested upon your own. You spun around expecting to see a red faced stranger ready to ply you with more alcohol in an attempt to get you to stick around. Instead, you were met with an equally red faced, and very drunk Youngjae “y/n!!!! I’ve been looking for you all night- I was hanging out in the kitchen then for some reason i ended up in the bathroom, I’ve been everywhere but I didn't see you so i thought you weren’t here but I spotted you from the other side of the room so i ca-” he rambled on, his sweaty hand still on yours atop the door handle.

“Wait. You’re leaving?” He stopped himself mid sentence to ask, spotting your hand still trying to turn the handle. With his eyes growing larger, the drunken giddiness on his face turns to a look of disappointment.

“Well yeah, I don’t really see any point in staying. I was waiting for you but honestly now I just think my social interaction meter has run out for today, I just wanna be somewhere quiet and ma-”

“Wait no. You can’t leave, I’ve got something to talk to you about, come with me.” He cut you off, now grabbing your hand and leading you through the rooms, making his way to the back door on the other side of the house.

Pushing open the door, you’re hit with a cold blast of crisp night air, the sounds from the inside vanishing slowly as the door closed behind you.

“Everyone went inside because it’s getting kinda cold out” Youngjae said with a nervous giggle as he let go of your hand, beckoning you to a garden table surrounded by worn out plastic lawn chairs. “Plus at least you can get a bit of quiet now” he continued, picking up a half empty class of unknown alcohol someone had left behind.

After a few minutes of relishing in the new quiet atmosphere, you turn to Youngjae, who was leaning back in his chair, staring blankly at the night sky, “What was it you wanted to talk to me about...?” You said across the table, breath hanging visible in the air.

“Oh...yeah, right, that” He answered, snapping back to reality and sitting upright, finishing what was left in the glass in one big gulp. Letting out a big sigh and leaning closer to you across the table. “y/n...I like you. Like...really like you...”

“Oh god, that was blunt...are you saying what I think you are..?” shifting uncomfortably in your seat you mumble with a sigh “I’m not drunk enough for this conversation.” trying to avoid eye contact, but you can still feel his gaze piercing into your cheek.

“Well” He draws in a long breath, trying to compose himself as much as possible “I am drunk enough and I really need to tell you. I promise it’s not just the alcohol talking, it might seem like it is but I promise it’s for real. I’m being serious.” Without looking you feel his hands shift closer to your own, barely touching, but close enough to feel the warmth radiating from them.

You keep your gaze locked firmly on the ground below the glass table, but listen as he speaks out loud. His stream of consciousness continues “I know you know what I’m gonna say y/n, we’ve been friends for such a long time, I know, but I really think I like you more than that, y’know? Like...we’re like peanut butter and jelly, Tom and Jerry...and other analogies I can’t think of because to be honest...I’m pretty hammered...” he trailed off with a giggle. “What I’m tryna say is, we’re inseparable... there’s no me without you...”

“I really need you to think about what you’re saying Youngjae, we’re friends...best friends I might even say.” You knew you should probably stop talking, but you couldn't stop your words coming out, before you knew it you were babbling right back at him “And I’m not saying that I’ve never thought about you in that way, I have, many times but like what if everything goes wrong and we end up hating each other, I dont want that to happen but like wha-”

“Can you just shut up for 5 minutes please?” He spoke clearly, the intoxication in his voice almost fully disappeared. “Are you saying you feel the same way y/n?” You could pretty much hear his massive grin in the tone of his voice, you wanted to see that smile so badly but you didn’t think you could face him.

“Well...I don’t know. Maybe” You hear the sound of the plastic chair moving across the patio and Youngjae standing from his seat “I mean, yeah, I guess I do...but we’re friends Youngjae, I don’t wanna lose that...ah, I dunno...”

Before you could look up, you see his feet directly in front of you, he crouches down so his face is inches from yours. Taking your chin with his thumb, he lifts your face so your eyes meet with his own.

“Would a friend do this?” He spoke with a shaky breath, leaning forward to plant a soft kiss on your lips. An overwhelming taste of alcohol on his lips is the first thing that hits you, replaced slowly by his overwhelming warmth. Suddenly the cold air felt like a hot summers day. 

The kiss was sloppy, but meaningful. Messy, yet innocent. With every move of his lips against yours, the world around you began to feel further and further away. One of his hands rested on your shoulders whilst your own cupped his soft flushed cheeks. His free hand sat comfortably on your thigh, drawing small circles with his thumb.

Even with the awkward crouched position he was in, you felt his body relax next to yours, deepening the kiss as he leaned in closer to you. Every movement of his lips telling you everything he never had the courage to admit to you before. 

Your moment was cut short by the door being flung open, a rowdy friend of yours practically falling out on to the patio next to you. Youngjae pulls his lips away from you, but keeps his hand protectively on your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

“Ooooooooh...whats t-this...did I interrupt you two...hah- sorry...it was about time you two got together though...we’ve all been waiting for you both to ad- admit you like each other loooooooool...sorry- pretend I was never here..” They said as they stumbled backwards, quickly tried to make their way back indoors.

“Well...now I’m embarrassed” you mumbled quietly, head hanging low.

“To be honest” Youngjae replied laughing “I’m more embarrassed they said lol out loud. You’ve got nothing to worry about. Plus like they said, it was about time anyway”

He moved slowly to his feet, offering you his hand as he stands. “Come on, you wanna get out of here?”

“What exactly are you insinuating?” you laughed, standing up, ready to make your way out.

“What?!?” I’m not suggesting anything like that!” He answered with a jokingly shocked expression on on his face, “You said before that you wanted to go somewhere quiet...and I wanna be with you, so I thought we could both go somewhere together, yeah?”

As you make your way back through the house, you’re met with the laughter filled cheers of your intoxicated friends as they spot you walking hand in hand with Youngjae. You turn to him just as you reach the door you very nearly walked out of earlier, met with the crescent eyed smile of your...friend?...boyfriend...?

“We’re totally dating now by the way, we’ve kissed and everything, it’s the law” He places one last very dramatic peck on your lips, one that he obviously wanted everyone close by to see. After causing chaos you quickly scurried out of the house to the sounds of yet more rowdy excited cheers. 

The night was bitterly cold, but you didn’t care; you’d stay out all night if it meant getting to stay with Youngjae even an hour longer. Before you were even aware, the boy had let go of your hand and was removing his jacket, draping it carefully over your shoulders. “I wanted to do that earlier, but I didn't wanna let go of your hand” he admitted quietly as you continue strolling peacefully though the dimly light suburban streets.

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a/n lets just pretend i ended this on some super sweet note and didnt just cut it off randomly bc I apparently have no idea how to end things lmao sorry