#didnt even close my eyes to peacefully absorb his touch

[absofrutey]

I'm starting to get sick, but I checked my temp and it was normal so I went to work. The guy I have feelings for (whom I've been working on getting over) asked me into his office and I was like uh I don't want to come in, I think I'm getting sick.

He asked why I was there and I was like, well I don't have a fever so idk

Then he felt my head and my cheek to check my temperature 🥺🥺🥺🥺

[lazikade]

WOW hi its 1am and soft gay hours while I'm barely coherent

Already know this gonna b long so not in the tags lmao

So like. Im dating a wonderful person named bre right. Ive liked them for years but internalized homophobia and fear crushed that down- brushed everything off and wouldnt let me even Think about ever being with them. I convinced myself they didnt like me n never would, and was lowkey revolted at my feelings. Plot twist- they also liked me the Entire Time.

And Like????? Im not used to feeling loved this way. Its wild and incomprehensible. Especially not by THEM, who i never let myself believe liked me. Its overwhelming and strange but so very lovely at the same time. Like a dream really. Its ,, healing. Ofc im careful not to be reliant on them but like,,, just knowing that someone adores you in such a close way is such a boost. Its hard to wrap ur head around!!! Like WOW they feel the same things about me as i do about them?? They get that little fluttery lovey feeling? They melt when i do something they find cute?? Theres little quirks and such that i have and they adore? They enjoy spending time w me and enjoy being together?? They like to cuddle me? Theyre willing to open up n be vulnerable? What the FUCK its crazy!!!!! Someone feels that way about ME- someone i adore so fucking much it feels i might die. Someone who makes my heart melt and flutter constantly. Its amazing!!

And also like. My old wounds r healing. Im letting myself imagine us together shamelessly. Im loving them with little to no fear. Im accepting and embracing the fact that they love me. All of me. Im seeing our love as something good and gentle and not disgusting.

I just,, fuck im getting EM O TI O N A L

I just cant get over how insanely happy they make me. Laughs we share when i show them a dumb video. Giggling wildly while playing around like children- throwing plushies and trying to catch each others hands. Grinning scrunched up faces peeking out of blankeys. Tender and hesitant touches. Nervous interactions and unvertainty- confusion when faced with something new. Them wanting to give up on something but me gently encouraging them. Good morning texts. Comforting hugs. lingering glances and touches. Not wanting to let go. Curled up peacefully together in a bundle of warmth. The breath on my neck. Feeling a head lay against my own. Longing to run my fingers through their hair. Wanting to hold them close to my chest and tell them everything will be okay and that ive got them. Wishing i could be there more. Being so incredibly grateful they exist and are here. Trying to snuggle and failing but keep trying. Listening to them excitedly ramble about things they love. That surprised pleased feeling when they act flirty. Wondering when theyll ever figure out my weakness to back rubs. Lacing my fingers with their own. Flustered laughs and sheepish looks. Longing to gaze at their beautiful face but being so overwhelmed by my emotions i just cant meet their eyes. Melting at the sound of their laugh. Watching their face crinkle up when theyre happy. Seeing and hearing those big head-tossed-back, open mouthed laughs. Their Concerned Voice. Their voice suddenly getting very high pitched when nervous or flustered. Watching them blush heavily at Everything. Teasing them gently. Sinking into their side and absorbing their warmth. Hearing their voice clearly through texts. Sneaking pictures of them being adorable then gushing about them. Watching them get all wiggly and nervous when complimented. Watching them begin to open up more and start talking to me about their feelings and such. Having things that are Ours- the lapis, the obsidian, our ocs, lighthouses. Sending them posts and pictures and songs that remind me of them. Gazing at their gorgeous eyes. Helping them heal.

Loving every part of them. Wanting to embrace them and all their flaws.

IM JUST SO FVUCKING GAY IM DGSHKSKSKS HELP its now 2am

Even if it embarrasses me greatly im sending this to them bc its very important they understand how i feel sgshsisgals