#didn't write much today tbh and need to go to sleep soon bc i work tomorrow

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @daffi-990 @thewolvesof1998 @giddyupbuck 💖💖

finally back with alive shannon! still not done with the conversation I'm stuck at, but just left it for now and gonna circle back later (and I can't even begin to tell you how much it bothers me that i'm not writing in order now omg) but small progress is happening so yaay! haha here's something from ch3 - buck's pov - it's a longer snippet that I literally just wrote so it's rough but it's something at least haha

prev snippet

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“Buck!” Christopher exclaims, noticing him first, and he hears rapid footsteps and crutches hitting the floor.

“Hey- shoes!” Eddie sighs heavily, and Buck just knows he’s shaking his head.

“Hey, bud.” Buck smiles, finally turning away from the TV, giving Chris a hug. “How was school?”

“Okay.” he shrugs. “Hi, mom.” Chris adds, turning towards Shannon to give her a hug as well. “How are you feeling?” he asks quietly, concern in his voice, and Buck’s heart melts. From the look on Shannon’s face, so does hers.

“Better.” she smiles, running her hand through his curls with the softest expression on her face, just full of pure love. Buck’s so happy they get to have this, both Christopher and Shannon, that they get this time together they so obviously needed and missed. “Buck’s been keeping me company while waiting for you.” she adds, grinning at Buck.

“What are you guys watching?” Eddie comes closer and sits in the chair, gesturing for Christopher to come over to him, and then helps him out of his shoes. He’s glancing at the TV, probably trying to guess if he knows the show. 

“It’s just this telenovela your abuela was obsessed with a couple years ago.” Shannon shrugs, lowering the volume. They’ll have to rewind and see everything they’ve missed. Or maybe look it up and start from the beginning. Buck’s invested already, and she’s fun to watch with, and maybe if they bond over that, things will feel less awkward. “There’s reruns.”

“You’re watching telenovelas?” Eddie looks up at Buck, then at Shannon, and back at Buck, frowning. “Without me?” he pouts, sounding half-teasing. He keeps looking between them, almost nervously. Is he worried that they won’t get along or something? Ridiculous. Buck can get along with anyone if he wants to – well, almost – and he’s gonna try here, for sure – it’s Chris’ mom, he has to.

“Sorry.” Buck chuckles, leaning back against the couch. Eddie finishes helping Chris and stands up again, while the boy takes a seat between Shannon and Buck, grinning from ear to ear. He scoots closer to Shannon, carefully cuddling into her side, her arm coming up around him. “You wanna watch with us?”

“Uh, I’d love to, but dinner won’t make itself.” Eddie moves to go towards the kitchen, but then stops and hesitates. “Uh, Buck-”

“Ugh, you’re gonna cook?” Christopher wrinkles his nose. “Can’t we order something again?”

“My cooking isn't that bad.” Eddie says, mock-offended, crossing his arms. “Right?” he looks at Buck, and then Shannon. Buck winces and takes in a sharp breath, while Shan wrinkles her nose – and Buck sees such resemblance between her and Chris in that moment – but neither says anything. “Unbelievable.” Eddie shakes his head, and Buck and Shannon look at each other over Christopher’s head and crack up. They might be on the same wavelength, that’s good. Teasing Eddie is another common ground, it seems like. “We had take out last night, and the night before, and before that all the food people brought over after-” he pauses, swallowing hard, still not able to talk about the accident, about almost losing her. He told Buck about his abuela and tía, and Bobby, and even Hen and Karen, and some other people from the station bringing some food so he doesn’t have to bother cooking while taking care of Shannon. “Well, what’s left is in the freezer, and I wanted to do something nice and cook, but maybe I’ll just defrost something.” he sighs, defeated, but there’s a small smile playing on his lips. “That okay, boss?” he adds, emphasizing the last word and looking at his son with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.” Christopher nods, then bursts into giggles.

“Fine.” Eddie turns and starts walking towards the kitchen. “Buck, you coming with me?”

“You need help defrosting? Wow, you are helpless.” he says, winking at Chris, who just laughs again, but then gets up anyway, following Eddie – who’s at the kitchen door already, and flips him off.

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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gayarthur @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @eddiediaztho @housewifebuck @lover-of-mine @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @hoodie-buck @monsterrae1 @hippolotamus @ladydorian05 @forthewolves @honestlydarkprincess @wildlife4life @spotsandsocks @eowon @theotherbuckley @weewootruck @thewolvesof1998 @disasterbuckdiaz @spotsandsocks @jesuisici33 @callaplums @loserdiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @underwater-ninja-13

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Thursday, April 4th, 2024!

11:06pm: Feeling good and bad what's new.

Cons of life: My sleep schedule is horrendously off. I am dehydrated. My whole body aches from stress tensing my muscles up. My tits are plagued with acne marks right now like really bad sores. Funny as soon as the butt ones are under control now these pop up 🙃. My unibrow is going crazy but I'm afraid to cut my forehead shaving it. I also have a wack diet rn yesterday I basically forgot to eat and today I had a burrito the size of my head and too much take out still bc I'm tired of cleaning the kitchen. I wish this stupid fucker would realize what a POS he's being and leave me tf alone 😒 really fucked up and exhausting to think about. The sleep and dehydration thing are really the worst simply compounding every other problem. Also it's over for today, but being on my period for two weeks really took a toll on my body and stressed me out and now I'm just behind on chores and grocery shopping and things like that because I've had no energy from being anemic and my hormones have been driving me up the wall. Also we all know I hate showering on my period soooo yeah don't really have to explain that further 🫠🥲 my hair is greasy AF and my scalp is itchy. Don't get me started on the financial mess that is May. Mf FAFSA would be messed up the year I need it most 🫠 that's not so bad though just more hoops to jump through that are just hella unnecessary. I really needed to write all this down and get it out of my brain. Tbh I didn't realize how much shit was actually bothering me, I was totally gaslighting myself into thinking I was being a little bitch. There's like a whole dissertation of shit that's bothering me, no wonder I feel so burnt out and run over. I'm fucking drained. I always like to look on the positive side of life but sometimes it's like work to push all this crap aside just for peace of mind. Just boxing this shit up for later (right now when I can't sleep because anxiety). I almost don't want to write a pros list now because it feels so fake lmao. 😂

Pros: This was one of the best weeks I've had in terms of school grades! Hard work pays off. The basics, food, shelter, safety, transportation, have all been accounted for god bless. I have my two good cats. I have a family that loves me. I'm no longer in an abusive gaslighting relationship ❤️ I'm going to the movies tomorrow! Three weeks of school left! (That's actually fucking crazy what??) I am really proud of myself. I'm really glad I don't have to take that remediation exam next Friday! I would throw up. Also I don't have to remediate the OSCE on Monday and I can enjoy the solar eclipse lol. The weekend two weeks from now is going to be crazy fun I just realized ❤️ So much to look forward to, so much to still do is really the vibe.

Tbh I feel so numb it's really hard to make this pros list. And my head really hurts. I love you Jamie keep going. ❤️

11:55pm: I took two aspirin and two Benadryl wish me luck 🫡😴