#didn't wanna misrepresent them

[starlitiris]

making the phantom troupe ✨ neurodivergent ✨

before getting into this I wanna say that i'm not including Kalluto, Hisoka or Illumi in this and I didn't add Kortopi, Bonolenov or Franklin cause I didn't know what to do for them </3

and! a handful of these neurdivergencies are things I also have, but if any of you have something mentioned here and you feel like I misrepresented the condition/got something wrong, please let me know and correct me!

i'd also love to hear what your guys' neurodivergent/disorder headcanons are for the phantom troupe PLEASE do not be shy

okay enough yapping, here are the headcanons

Nobunaga

ADHD out the ass

Bro can and will zero in on something aggressively and not realize how much time has passed till his stomach growls or someone else gets his attention

Almost ALWAYS forgets what he walked into a room for and sometimes won’t be able to remember for hours

He zones out a lot when Troupe members are trying to explain something to him that he has zero interest in

CHRONIC LEG BOUNCER

And foot tapper

He also does little bouncies when he’s standing around

Please don’t ever give him a pen that clicks

He’ll click it nonstop and won’t even realize he’s doing it until someone brings attention to it

He for sure has his moments where he's feeling extra irritable or anxious for seemingly no reason

Feitan

AUTISM OUT THE ASS

No, I’m not headcanoning this because he’s apathetic

Miss me w that shit

He’s just an apathetic person because of everything he’s been through

Not great at masking but he does mask

HATES being touched do NOT TOUCH HIM ew

Exclusively wears long sleeves. Cannot stand short sleeved shirts, he hates the way it feels on his arms

Misses a lot of emotional social cues and his apathetic nature certainly doesn’t help with that but it’s not like he cares much

The Troupe is used to him being like this so they aren’t too bothered

Thinks he looks fucking stupid when he stims so he tries not to unless he’s completely alone

He will let loose a LIIITTLE when he’s alone with just Phinks though since those two are pretty close but he still tries to make his stimming as non-obvious as possible

It also helps for him to stim with his hands in his pockets

He often taps his thumb and index finger together or rubs his knuckles

REALLY hates feeling cold and can't stand the sticky feeling of dried blood on his skin

Despite this, he rarely wears gloves when he's "working" simply because he no no wanna

Phinks HAS called him out on this. A few times.

Machi

Dyslexic

Hates it

So much

Seriously doesn’t understand why she can’t just fucking READ and SPELL as easily as everyone else

Like she KNOWS how to read and spell so like???? WHY does she even struggle with it it should be such an easy thing to do

That’s how she thinks

She gets embarrassed when people catch her struggling to read or spell something

It makes her feel dumb and she hates it :[

Thank god for ai assistants like siri and shit

She definitely uses them to ask how to spell things when no one else is around and she can’t remember

Gets kinda pissed at herself when she realizes way too late that she made a typo on something

Phinks

Prosopagnosia (face blindness) and aphantasia (when you can’t form mental images in your head)

Thought his aphantasia was completely normal for THE LONGEST time

He almost didn’t believe it when other Troupe members were telling him that they could clearly form mental images in their heads

It was a huge “what the fuck” moment for him

The amount of times he’s heard the phrase “you don’t remember me?” just cause he couldn’t recognize someone by their face alone

Of course he’s still able to recognize people from their voices, clothes, hair, body shapes, etc

But when it comes to people he doesn’t see often, he’s completely lost until he’s told the person’s name and where they met and shit

He’s offended quite a few people by not recognizing them

They assume he couldn’t be bothered to remember them but in reality he probably would if he could remember faces

Shalnark

He has bipolar 1

His mania doesn’t get too crazy but it’s noticeable for the Troupe and any other people that he spends a lot of time with

His highs tend to be more intense than his lows but he definitely still has his lows

And the lows are also noticeable

He gets bags under his eyes from having a difficult time falling asleep and STAYING asleep, and he has a very clear decrease in energy

Sometimes Troupe members feel the need to ask him if he’s feeling alright but he always answers with “yeah I’m fine!” and moves on

The amount of shit he's bought on impulse though

He's good at managing his finances until he's manic and sees something he wants

Bro won't look at price tags

"Ehh I'm sure it'll be fine!" two days later he's in the red and goes complaining to Troupe members about it as if he shouldn't have expected that

It's probably a good thing that his role in the Troupe is more centered around gathering information and not combat

I know damn well he'd get too cocky in a fight depending on wtf his brain chemistry is doing

Shizuku

Do i even need to say it

Bitch (respectfully) is autistic as hell

With some good ol’ ADD sprinkled in there

Her attention span suffers greatly

She can pick up a book or a manga and not put it down to eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom until she finishes it or is forced to put it down

She knows it’s a problem and she really does try to remember to take breaks

Very blunt as we all know

Feitan will struggle to pick up on sarcasm SOMETIMES and uses sarcasm himself

This is not the same for Shizuku

Sarcasm does not register in her brain

She tried using sarcasm once and didn’t do it right so she gave up

She does try to mask a little bit in some situations but mostly doesn’t care enough to

Doesn’t mind stimming in front of people as much as Feitan does but she still does it a lot more in private

Pakunoda

Bipolar 2

Her depressive episodes feel longer than they are

She’s gotten a lot better at managing it as she’s gotten older though

She likes to journal her feelings when she can, it personally helps her process and deal with her emotions

She also writes reminders for herself and sets alarms so she doesn’t forget to take care of herself when she’s not feeling too well

Makes sure to praise herself for small victories! :)

She still has her days where she can’t bring herself to do some things, though days like those are less common now than they used to be

Her appetite definitely suffers because her depression, but the reminders and alarms she sets help her remember to eat, even if it has to be something small

She makes sure to get some self care in when she can, too. It's important to her

Uvogin

I hereby bestow thee with dyscalculia and OCD

Being anal about doing things at specific times is only a tiny sliver of his OCD-ness

Sometimes he’ll read the time on a clock wrong and he’ll panic for like 0.2 seconds

It fuckin stresses him out man

Sometimes he’ll tease Machi for having a hard time reading or forgetting how to spell/write a word and she’ll hit him with the “ok what’s 12 x 12 🧍”

Shuts him up real quick

He can count, add, subtract, multiply and divide but it still takes him a minute sometimes

He’ll just give up if he has to do math with fractions, decimals, numbers longer than three digits and any other complicated bullshit

He kinda gave up learning math when it started to literally give him headaches trying to figure it out so simple division and multiplication is as far as he cared to learn

If he’s faced with any math equation that intimidates him he will not even try

He just uses his phone or asks someone else to solve it for him

Okay back on the topic of OCD

He definitely has his repetitive movements that he does

They aren’t too obvious but the rest of the Troupe does notice them from time to time

Nobunaga said something about it one time and Uvo just brushed it off and changed the subject

He doesn’t like bringing attention to it

He also WILL recount and reread things multiple times

Most of the time he’ll only need to recount/reread something like 3-5 times but on bad days he’ll do it 10+ times

It is stressful

Phinks saw him recounting something like 13 times once and was like “bro u good?” and Uvo just snapped at him for fucking up his count

Chrollo

Autism and major depressive disorder

Masking KING (this is not a good thing)

Very touch avoidant like Feitan

He knows he struggles with some social cues and interactions and will sometimes overthink what he’s doing to avoid missing things or doing things wrong

He’s often hyper aware of what he’s doing and what the person he’s talking to is doing

One of his most common ways to stim is by rubbing things - like the corners of pages in his books, or the ends of his sleeves

Loathes being in loud areas. Please why is everyone talking so loud shut the fuck up Chrollo can’t hear himself think

There’s been times where he had to be in loud and bustling places for extended periods of time and once he was alone and in a quiet place he’d feel so so very drained and be nonverbal for hours

Really bad insomnia probably related to his MDD

Lays in bed for HOURSSSS unable to fall asleep

The amount of times he’s had to run on 2-3 hours of sleep is unreal

Listening to calm music and whale noises seems to help him fall asleep a little bit though

Don’t get me wrong he has good days, he’s not completely miserable, but MAN is this guy depressed

On bad days he’ll likely only have one meal or not eat at all

Phantom Troupe be damned if they notice he hasn’t eaten all day

Chrollo will insist he’s fine but some Troupe members aren’t having it

Sometimes someone like Paku or Shal will just go out and get him some food and place it in front of or next to him expectantly

Usually he’ll give up and eat the food

Unless he’s in a bad mood

I will say though, most days he eats at least two meals so it’s not like this is a super common occurrence

[thetruearchmagos]

Probably the only two things I didn't like in Blue Eye Samurai were how 'exoticised' the guns were, and the whole castle assault thing.

The last one is probably self explanatory considering how particular I can be about screwing up military 'activities' in media, but the first one might need some explanation.

Ya see, I don't actually care about whether the gun models were historically accurate, or their effectiveness, or anything like that. What I care about is how alien they seem to have been made to appear to the 'Japanese' side of the story. Like, this is Edo Japan, they have guns, and used guns back in the day to unify the country.

While I can kinda understand them not appearing in most parts of the setting, I'm kinda ticked off at the fact that the guard of the Shogun himself, being presumably some of the best in Japan, don't either?!? In fact, they act like they've never seen a gun in their life, but that gets into the battle side of things and I don't wanna go further than drawing that connection.

Nonetheless, I think there's something more to this utterly odd portrayal of firearms here at stake. The great, long lived, and stupid myth / legend that 'Samurai don't use guns', which has existed well before BES, is itself just one facet of the common trope that 'oriental' societies are hopelessly and actively backwards in their rejection of modernity, to their ruin at the hands of those who do.

And I don't want to blame this show or anyone connected to it for the fact that this trope exists, because I don't think they mean to trade in that sorta thing. There is a genuine narrative impact achieved through so thoroughly overstating the resistance to modernity that these 'old elites' embody, but at the same time it's hard to overstate how much the zeitgeist / public 'knowledge' that surrounds foreign societies and times is shaped by the media that portrays them, 'knowledge' that sometimes leaks into perceptions of actual, current societies, though I don't consider that fact a necessary addition to justify criticism.

I guess I wanted to say that I, for one, just don't think that a good story is worth misrepresenting the actual sentiments and beliefs of times long past. It's sad to see it happen.

[incarnateirony]

Reasons to NOT boycott streamers:

Actor/writer residuals (nevermind they get a few cents)

Leverage against studios (nevermind studios wanna prove they can replace them with AI and are threatening to drop deals)

Studios are paying a lot of money to plant articles to convince you not to (think of the studios!!!)

My favorite with something personal to gain indirectly implied not to (aka, My Content and Fave is more important than Everyone)

HECK, my idiot fan-run webpage that wants excuses even ran with it!! That's real reporting, right???? THE HIGHLY ACCLAIMED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE-- [checks notes] Mary Sue. [leans over to listen] what do you mean that's the moron website that just before S15 said no Destiel was intended ever. A FELLOW FAN WOULD NEVER MISREPRESENT OR MISUNDERSTAND THE INDUSTRY!!! OR EVENTS!! HOW DARE YOU!!

I Am Five Years Old And Need An Adult To Tell Me What To Do In Small Direct Words Even If It Risks Everyone Else. I am but a bb with an incompletely developed personality or sense of morals or ability to Reason.

It didn't cross the line!! It was filmed non-SAG overseas!! Or before the strike!! WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* the major studios still get benefit when it's on their streamers?!?!?!

I enjoy paying studios constant money for nothing.

I just wanna keep watching my shit without sacrificing anything (but I share pics of my faves in picket lines!!! GO UNION!!!)

I believe in AI rights, screw Real People, Robot Equality 4ever, it's fine to support their current behavior, actually.

Pick one that isn't struck out.

[oddmawd]

Hello! I just wanted some clarification as to why earning some income off of fanfiction is this horrible unethical act.

Do fanarts and zines also apply under this copyright infringement and if so, why are those works allowed to make some profits but not fanfiction? To me it seems like a double standard, especially because I seriously doubt anyone making either fanart or fanfic are claiming that the characters and story are their own original works. Blatant plagiarism and profiting from it is one thing but receiving some income because someone really likes a fan work is another.

I understand that in extreme cases, authors can sue, like you mentioned Anne Rice but in most cases, the authors tend to be chill with fanworks? They know it encourages engagement and hell, some of those big scary publishing companies that you seem to be wary of actually scout fan artists and writers to bring on board for their next projects.

And it's not brought up often in these arguments but Anne Rice herself became lenient towards fanfics of her original work in the last couple years before her death, even apologizing for her behavior then.

So while I understand the concern for lawsuits, I just don't see how writers and artists are "late stage capitalist dicks" for earning an income off fanworks that are clearly stated and implied to be the original works of the author and not their own.

typically i'm a "never assume malice where ignorance can serve as an explanation" kinda person, but YEESH, it's hard not to perceive hostility in this one boys, here's why:

1) i never called writers and artists "late stage capitalist dicks," and putting that phrase in quotes to make it seem like i did tells me you're not here for productive communication...that intentional misquote showcases either a blatant attempt at weaponizing intellectual dishonesty OR a lack of reading comprehension on your part, one i doubt i can correct through anonymous tumblr asks

2) "why are fanzines allowed but fanfics are not?" presupposes what you think my position on the matter must be, but i haven't expressed my opinion on fanzines, let alone voiced a double standard in favor of them...this is (once again) a blatant attempt at putting words in my mouth and/or a complete misread, intentional or otherwise, of what i actually stated...and in fact i said in a comment that fanart ALSO exists in a legal gray area, so you didn't do your research very thoroughly if those are the words you're trying to put in my mouth (solid attempt tho, 6/10)

3) i ALSO didn't call anything unethical, as you claimed in your comically hyperbolic opening line...i called selling fanwork illegal. morality and legality are not the same thing, so whether your mistake regarding the differences between legality and morality is the product of ignorance or malice, the fact remains that it's yet another blatant misread of what i said, good job there buddy, you're batting a thousand

i could dig further into the bad-faith rhetoric oozing from that ask (the sheer hyperbole and melodrama of it + the litany of loaded questions are an immediate sign it wasn't sent in good faith), but i think i've made my point LMAOOOOOO...but to sum up, i have very little interest in engaging with you when you're talking in SUCH bad faith and with such an antagonistic tone...you're misrepresenting SO MUCH so blatantly and with such confidence, it gives me zero confidence in your desire to actually learn or explore these very interesting issues...you just wanna argue and twist my words, and i'm not gonna enable that bad behavior by giving you more to twist

but look bruh, i get it: you're feeling insecure and defensive over a comment about being careful about monetizing your fanwork, and you took a post about the concept of capitalism and its impact on the arts so personally you confused comments made about capitalism itself for comments about you as a person...but this hostility is NOT a commensurate reaction to what i said and i'm shocked you think otherwise, and if you want to have this conversation, we can...but only once you learn to argue respectfully

TL;DR: i doubt your ability to engage in good faith so i'm not going to respond earnestly, as it'll be a waste of my time...reread my posts after you've had time to release this defensive energy...engage with what i said, not with what you THINK i said...have a nice night and best of luck to you

[call-me-strega]

Me when I see posts where ppl are complaining abt fanfic writers changing or altering plot points/characterization of character by asking if they’ve even read the source material and how what their writing isn’t in line with canon:

Like that's entirely the point. We saw what canon did. Cool, awesome, amazing, fantastic. What we as fanfic writers want to explore is what if it didn't.

We want to see what would happen if we had slightly altered things or if certain things worked a different way or if things didn't happen all together. Canon is but the source material for our manipulation and experimentation. And sure it can get annoying if things commonly used in fanon are innaccurate or misrepresent the spirit of the story but here’s the thing: you don’t have to read it.

If fanon bothers you don’t engage with it. If you want to see more interpretations similar to your own then make content for it and share it. Popularize the takes you wanna see by starting the conversation. The only thing you really accomplish by complaining is making someone else feel bad for enjoying exploring their imagination. Because nobody is going to stop changing canon however they please and making something they enjoy just cause you don’t like it as much as they do.

If you don’t want people to misrepresent characters, then write them how you think they should be represented. If you don’t like seeing certain tags, then just don’t engage with them. No one is forcing you and if you were unsatisfied, then do something about it other than complaining and making everyone else feel bad.

Can we just learn to tolerate each other more? Because no one is saying you’re wrong either. There might be people who agree with you, but wouldn’t it more productive to create some thing those ppl will also enjoy rather than to bring down the people who enjoy warping canon every which way?

tldr; A mostly vent post about how people complaining about fanfiction not reflecting canon or aspects of canon are annoying. Fanfiction is not meant to replicate canon but to purposefully fuck around with it. They don’t accomplish anything other than making people feel bad about enjoying stuff that they don’t like. If you have such an issue with it, then start creating content that you want to see and more ppl will join in bc that’s how fandoms fucking work.

[picnokinesis]

hello taka,

I respect you very highly as a cherished mutual of mine. I’m on anon because I can’t trust people not to misconstrue me and paint me as something I’m not. I just want to express concern over your reblog of South Africa—people conflate the situation with them and with Israel in dangerous ways. the key difference is that the Hamas-run government’s mission is to kill all Jews and Israelis. This includes the Muslims and Christians living in Israel. They are not synonymous situations, because there has never been a precedent for what’s happening now. it is naive to think that there would be no risk to the Israeli citizens, because there is a genuine threat to all of their lives. I just wanted to share this with you because it is very painful to see misinformation like this being spread, and how it misrepresents the situation. You don’t have to respond to this; I am sympathetic to why you shared it. I am only sending this ask because I see that you care and I don’t want you to be misled.

Hi there!!

I actually really appreciate this ask, because it made me go and have a conversation with a good friend of mine who studies international conflict and relations, and has a much greater understanding of this sort of thing than I do. Which is gonna be the basis of my response here, but I just wanna clarify that I'm by no means an expert on any of this, or how this sort of situation can be resolved.

I think I get where you're coming from here! And actually, I fundamentally agree with you on a lot of things - you're right, there is a tendency right now for people to draw parallels between these other historical/current situations, which can lead to over-generalisation which isn't really helpful, as some things are a lot more complicated and less clear cut than others. And, also, every situation is unique. You're right - the solution to apartheid in South Africa, and the situation in Boliva are not the same as what's happening with Israel and Palestine. So saying these situations are exactly the same isn't helpful.

However - I do think you missed the point of that post. Or, at least, the point how I interpreted it. For example, I don't think that post was at all calling for a Hamas-led government - in fact, I don't think it mentioned Hamas at all? My initial reaction to your ask, I'll admit, was frustration, because it seems that every time people try and talk about what's happening in Gaza, people bring up Hamas, and whilst I know why, it comes back to the whole thing of like, if you're spending so much time explaining that, no, you don't agree with Hamas and you think the Oct 7th attack was wrong, then you are not talking about the bigger problem, which is that nothing that Hamas did could ever justify what the Israeli government is doing right now, or has been doing since 1948. I know that's not at all what you were saying, but it is really frustrating. I think you're right, I don't think there should be a Hamas-led government (thought, to be frank, it's not really my place to say who should or shouldn't be in charge). I don't know what the government of a free Palestine (presumably combined with Israel) would look like - and I know that building a democracy is very difficult and also dangerous. But we have to hope that it's possible to achieve something that would actually work, right? We have to believe that there can be a future where Israelis and Palestinians can live together, equally, and without fear, and without prejudice, for either side (and I personally think the risk is much greater for Palestinians not being treated equally, but at the same time I recognise what you are saying too). The fact is that historically, a multicultural Israel/Palestine has existed (albeit, Israel as the country state that we know it today didn't necessarily, but you get what I mean) - and so I think that post is a lot less about 'these situations are all the same and should be treated the exact same way, with the same solutions'. If it is about that, then I don't think it's correct. I think it's a lot more about solidarity, and the idea there have been all sorts of awful situations before, and that afterwards, when varying solutions were achieved, people were able to live side by side with each other. That it is possible.

That said though, I definitely didn't have all these thoughts in mind when reblogging that post - I just thought yeah I really agree with this! and reblogged it. So, I'll be honest, I didn't know or understand all of what you said here - so I'm really glad that it prompted me to go and talk to my friend and start looking more into things and learning more, which is never a bad thing. Because you're right, this is complicated. And it isn't black and white.

There isn't an easy solution to what's going on. And I'm not here to provide that solution anyway. But - I guess I come at this from a Disaster Management perspective, which makes sense since I studied that. And in Disaster Management, there's a thing very imaginatively named 'the Disaster Management Cycle', and basically it goes from prevention, preparation and mitigation > DISASTER > response, recovery, development, building back to a new normal where things are better, and cycle back into that initial prevention for future disasters. And so, when I'm thinking of response, I'm also thinking of what needs to come next - what comes after the ceasefire? What comes after the aid, the immediate relief? We've got to think about recovery and development, and what that new normal would look like. And I think, whilst I now see that making comparison the way that post did can cause harm in it's own way, I think that the core of it was that we want to work for a future in Palestine and Israel where there is no displacement of anyone, where people can return and have freedom of movement, where people are equal. And, sure, that isn't going to happen tomorrow, and it's not going to happen next week - because it takes time and it's extremely difficult. And I probably am naive - but we have to have hope, right? We've got to have something to aim for. We (or, rather, someone) has got to be able to sit down and say this is what we want a free Palestine to actually look like, and there will be things that are practical and things that will be idealistic, and things that will be a bit of both, but regardless...we gotta start somewhere.

And, of course, the worst part of this whole situation is that we're not there yet. We're not even in response. We're still in the disaster stage. And I think that is what we've got to be talking about the most at the moment because the situation is getting worse and worse, and I can go on about long term solutions all I like, but there are things that need to be done right now. And, unfortunately, neither you nor I have the power to snap our fingers and do that - but we do have the power to be as annoying as possible to the people who do. So, my friend - I have no idea which country you're in, but if you're in the UK or the USA or any country that's failed to back a ceasefire or has cut funding to UNRWA, and you haven't been annoying to your local official/rep/mp about it yet - give them hell. And then, when we're in the recovery stage, we can start talking about who should be in charge and making sure no one else ever gets killed or loses everything over all of this.

[majorbaby]

Isn't Trapper's nickname a euphemism for rape. I think that could have been explored more in depth in the show. And Hawkeye's hookups aren't always the paragon of enthusiastic consent either.

CW for rape mention and sexual harassment

I haven't read the MASH book and I'm not sure how it is represented there but in the movie:

John McIntyre, Trapper John. Only man to find fulfillment in a Boston Maine Railway, in the- in the ladies can! Conductor opened the door, the girl looked out and yelled "Oh, he trapped me! Omigod, he trapped me!"

Unless I'm missing some historical context for the term that's used, "trapped" I don't know that this is rape. With that said, Trapper (and Hawkeye) in the film sexually harass Margaret, no two ways about it, so I can't say it would be OOC for movie Trapper. I'm not sure where the word "rape" came from in this instance but in my opinion, it's ambiguous. I'm totally open to being wrong if there is concrete evidence.

The incident is retconned out of the show, along with much of the cruelty they subject Margaret to - the primary target of public humiliation and shaming in the show Frank Burns (who in the movie is Margaret's only ally and exits the movie halfway through) and with how much character development Margaret gets, to me it seems a deliberate choice to reduce the volume and severity of abuse her movie counterpart endures. You would never catch movie HawkTrap helping Margaret sober up (Hot Lips and Empty Arms) or hide a body (Iron Guts Kelly). In Bombshells Trapper pointedly respects Margaret's "no", that's the crux of the whole episode. He also doesn't seem to enjoy or return her advances when she's blackout drunk in Hot Lips and Empty Arms.

Personally I don't see the value in this stuff being explored in the show. It's sort of addressed in Hepatitis when Margaret asks for "respect" and Hawkeye folds.

I'd actually argue there's more canonical proof from the show of Hawkeye not respecting consent than Trapper. They both kiss Margaret without her consent, Trapper in Rainbow Bridge and For the Good of the Outfit, Hawkeye in Dear Dad and There's Nothing Like a Nurse. I can't think of any more wrt to Trapper but Hawkeye kisses Frank once on the lips without his consent (twice if he caught him in For the Good of the Outfit - it's still sexual harassment even if he didn't), in Ceasefire Hawkeye seems to have promised himself romantically to multiple women, deceiving them so they'll sleep with him.

(I just wanna note that the Ceasefire example seems like a misstep - he's never actually shown misrepresenting himself that way, he's normally pretty up front with his casual hookups, and it never happens again. Seems like a bad subplot rather than something I'd call a recurring flaw)

I know we all love the 'pegging scene' in Carry on Hawkeye but making a big show of dropping your pants so your female coworker can give you a shot is harassment, he does it because he knows it'll make Margaret uncomfortable and he does the same thing again in Hepatitis when she calls him out.

But honestly I can't think of a single example other than Ceasefire where his hookups aren't enthusiastic on both sides. Like part of my problem with the Ceasefire example is that Margie Cutler is one of the women who thinks she'll be marrying Hawkeye after the war she flirts with both Trapper and Hawkeye in Requiem for a Lightweight, pimps out Hawkeye to her friend in Edwina like... girl you knew what this was??? So prior to that episode, she seemed to be pretty enthusiastic.

And honestly I push back pretty hard against the hookups being seen as unenthusiastic. There's plenty of nurses who happily make out with Trapper and I don't believe they're all unaware that he's married, he talks about it openly in OR - yeah that's infidelity and it's morally wrong but it doesn't mean there aren't two consenting adults.

Similarly I have a hard time believing that the nurses don't see Hawkeye with a different girl on his arm every week, they know what they're getting. One of the things I like a lot about early MASH is the sex is enjoyed by all - I value positive portrayals of female sexual pleasure in the 70s over fidelity to offscreen wives because of the historical context. Hollywood is still terrified of portraying cunnilingus and Hawkeye is constantly shaving for his dates. Could it be because he's very enthusiastically kissing women? I suppose. But knowing this show and Alan Alda in general, I dunno.

MASH did try to explore misogyny, it responded to early criticism and dropped some of flourishes it relied upon. That's good and bad imo. It's nice to not hear so many 'honeys' and 'sweethearts' in the OR, but I miss the casual fucking and sucking when it goes away.

We have Inga which gives us a very OOC Hawkeye imo being put in his place. Hepatitis which muddies about with some comparison of Hawkeye to Margaret's in-laws but is ultimately a sweet moment for Hawk-Margaret (really he comes to respect her over a longer period of time but I'll take it). Who Knew where Hawkeye whines about sleeping with Millie in lieu of acknowledging her interiority as though these are two entirely mutually exclusive things - a swing and miss imo. But then you have season 10's Cementing Relationships where Margaret spends the whole episode being sexually harassed and it's played completely for laughs - just because it isn't Hawkeye doing it anymore doesn't mean it's not wrong.

I do appreciate the attempts at addressing misogyny, even though I think it led to some big missteps, but I don't personally feel I missed out on anything by there not being an in-depth exploration of sex and consent. Sex and romance aren't really given much focus in general, so I don't think it would make sense to explore it very deeply.

[cryingyetcourageous]

[[Hi. I know I haven't been on in uhhhh a while. and idk when I'll be back. I'm not permanently leaving this blog - I disappeared for 5 years before and ended up coming back, so I don't think I can ever be GONE gone - but I need a break for an unspecified length of time. Right now, my anxiety is just too damn high, I've seen some shit that makes me uncomfortable but don't wanna stir the pot (not anything that anyone I follow has done directly! but them being super friendly with people who uh... make me question some things), and general lack of new ideas.

When my anxiety is already high, publicly-visible RP makes it way worse because I am constantly nitpicking every little interaction. Who will see this post? What if it turns other people away from RPing with me because they didn't see the whole context? What if this long reply scares more casual people away? What if this more casual reply makes more prolific writers dismiss me? What if this shitpost makes people think I only do comedy and have no deeper thought (which kinda happened on my Alfred account, I think)? What if this serious plot makes people think I'm super angsty and not willing to goof around? Etc etc etc. On and on. Add on the constant worry of misrepresenting culture/history, and it's...

It's a lot. It's not because of roleplay itself, but it's a sub-symptom of larger anxiety issues that I've been dealing with on some level for my whole life, but on a new exacerbated level for quite a few months now.

I'm still available for private RP/brainstorming, though I'm gonna be kinda picky. I will be back to posting eventually.

[lawlietscaramels]

I read your last post (and all the previous ones), but I haven’t had the energy to comment on it lately. I’m a bit drowsy rn but I would like to chat about headcanons and such.

See, I’ve always been a person who tries to adhere to canon as much as possible in my own writing/art/etc. I try not to stray too far for fear of misinterpreting the characters or misrepresenting them.

But then I entered the death note fandom. You’re totally right with comparing the different canons to multiverses with their own rulesets. There’s so much out there to read, watch, etc. And everyone has different opinions on what’s “more” canon. I would take it one step further and say that anyone’s perception of the story is going to be slightly different from another’s, because that’s how we see things. And people in fandom make art and such based on their perceptions of the characters, which often includes projecting headcanons onto them. For better or worse.

Tbh, I dunno if I really got the idea of a “comfort character” until L and Near. There’s just so much about them that I relate to, especially Near. I may never solve a serial murder case, but I do solve problems by sitting on the floor and playing with toys. I find myself staring dead-eyed at people or at screens when I’m thinking. My point is that I find comfort in these characters, and wonder what they might do if scared, or stressed, or alone. Naturally, headcanons arise, based on my interpretation and my outlook on the world. The important thing is, I’m not Ohba or Obata. If I write these characters, I’m naturally going to insert little pieces of myself in the characters, whether I know it or not. And so will you, and anyone who writes them.

When you wrote your headcanons about L vs Ryuzaki, I found myself nodding along because I related to those. As a neurodivergent person myself, I sometimes feel like I subconsciously act differently in the presence of others out of a need to keep an “image” that others have built of me, even if it’s not entirely positive. That’s how I interpreted your post about L. I understand, however, why the other anon interpreted the post as ableist. Maybe it came off as you “explaining away” L’s habits, like some attempt to make the character more “palatable”. I don’t wanna put words in your or the anon’s mouths though, so I’m not gonna speculate.

I guess I just wanted to write this to say- it’s okay that you have headcanons and I promise you, I love reading them! Sometimes people interpret them poorly, and sometimes we need to reflect on why we have the headcanons we do about characters. I really do think you had good intentions though.

I’m not sure how to wrap this up, but I genuinely hope you’re doing well, Lei. Feel free to delete this ask after you’ve read it, if you like. I just thought I’d try to give an opinion.

-🎲 (I hope this ask is coherent and tumblr doesn’t eat it.)

I wanna share this because you genuinely just made my day, 🎲 anon. and also to elaborate more. So, anyone with doubts on my intentions, please read.

I did admit and I will say again that I did not approach L vs Ryuzaki in the best way and I did not think it through. But my intention was NOT to explain L's traits away and make them more "palatable." I didn't realise I needed to include this in the description of the original post, but I love him so much for his "weirdness" and being "unpalatable" because that's what society calls me when I don't mask. Like L, I sit in weird ways, and speak in monotone, and I play a lot with mouth and fingers, and I dead stare at people and I just. I see a lot of myself in him.

And the things that I've always felt bad about myself I love seeing in/headcanoning on L. To share a personal story, I stare at people without blinking for several minutes, and when I was entering my teen years I got called rude, weird and creepy for it - and around that time I watched Death Note and I immediately clicked with L (for many reasons but that's the one I can give a specific example why for). I went "L stares like me, and people call him weird, but I can see he's not bad, he's really cool - maybe I'm not bad either".

That got into a bit of a rant sorry 😭 again. obviously I didn't intend to hurt anyone. but again, I did not approach it in the best way. I should also say, because I didn't address it properly in my original answer: I wasn't trying to elaborate on the Ryuzaki theory. I was trying to share my own headcanons on how L expresses MORE of himself, NOT a completely different self, when alone.

I do think he sleeps at least once a day (if only for a short time). I do think he eats things other than sweets (especially steak. I throw my anemia onto him and with it comes STRONG cravings for rare meat). I do think he sits in ADDITIONAL ways to the 40% smarter. but I DON'T think that those traits are all 100% fake completely for show.

anyway. again. seeing this made me feel better. I'm not sure if the anon who sent the ableist thing was a follower, but it's nice to know that people I've been interacting with can tell I didn't have malicious intent. I felt pretty down after getting it, I felt so bad about writing something that could be interpreted like that - maybe that could only be interpreted like that - and I kind of avoided Tumblr a bit after. even posting of a and b or any of my recent "lei chats," I've felt so anxious that I'm going to be misinterpreted. It's the worst feeling. In real life people assume I'm being rude/malicious all the time when I'm being genuine/don't have that intent. Online, in the most part, I found a space where people assume the opposite. So it hurt.

AGAIN I RANTED AND IT GOT A BIT PERSONAL I'M SO SORRY. but thank you very much 🎲 anon. you made me smile <3

[shiteating]

i tried to figure out exactly what was bothering me. my new phone stylus is very hard to hold so i had no good grip so the drawings look weird, but i think it conveys the idea for the most part. I PROMISE I DIDN'T TRY TO MISREPRESENT ONE OVER THE OTHER!!! the drawings just accidentally came out goofy 😭 its only to demonstrate the broad strokes anyway

admittedly v4x luka sits in the middle of this scale but they specifically used a """revamped""" version of her v2 design so. v4x doesnt exist and tbh ixima has kept her personality mostly intact in most v4x promotional artwork WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT V4X THIS ISNT ABOUT HER but yes. i think the weirdly saturated color palette is kind of.. i dont wanna say poorly put together but i was surprised by them. theyre quite stark. i think the earthiness of luka's old v2 outfit in comparison contributes a sort of maturity and sophistication. the fluffy hair really helps too. the eye shape is a huge point as well... not to mention the personalities just seem so....different.

the saturation values are surprisingly similar between the two which is sound and correct, its easy to read regardless of which one it is, so i cant continue to nitpick from most technical aspects. itd just be pedantic (tho tbh proseka luka's hair could stand to have more contrast)

i will say proseka's luka's silhouette is way more ambigious compared to old luka even though its almost the same outfit— i already closed my phone's editing soft of choice and i didn't save the version with the key arts but try for yourself, clip layer and turn both solid, the proseka version of her hair is so shapeless it hurts the overall shape and dynamicism of the design (IMO). i think its closer to ixima's take on it, but i never liked how ixima draws hair, people started making bald miku jokes for a reason.

idk if i have it in me to go blow by blow about why i prefer what and why i dont but im starting to feel grief over how luka is misrepresented.

[threemouthedcanine]

I've been thinkin abt that "aren't you tired of being nice, don't you just wanna go apeshit" quote a lot. I'm very articulate (i dont say this to brag, i just am good at sorting out and verbalizing my thoughts and intentions) and try very hard to rationalize other peoples actions so that i can understand them. I try to assume goodwill and good intentions from others as much as possible. I try to present myself as calm and well spoken, i take great pains to make sure i am not misinterpreted or misrepresented.

Some of this, as I've come to realize, is because I'm autistic. But a good deal is also that I'm black, and nonblacks feel threatened and intimidated by me for even voicing any discontent so I've learned to couch my language in multiple layers of "I know you didn't mean-/I doubt you intended-/its just that-" because if I don't do this, if I do get angry or upset or bitter, if I do not present myself as the smallest contrite version of myself, I will not be listened to. It's just how it is.

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

AO3 fic stats meme!

tagged by @allaganexarch!

rules: give us the links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

Most Hits: push me gently (into love) | Wednesday (TV 2022) | Larissa Weems/original female character | rated M | 12,988 words

i'm not surprised to see this one here! def not my best work writing wise, but it has sentimental value to me! it's very silly and rom-comy. like an early 2000s hugh grant movie but a lesbian fic (which is kinda my vibe tbh)

Second Most Kudos: when the last restraint is gone | The Personal History of David Copperfield (2019) | Jane Murdstone/original female character | rated M | 25,031 words | ongoing

oh okay i actually like this one. i need to go back and edit it THOROUGHLY though, bc stylistically i don't like certain Choices(TM) that much anymore, but i am generally really fond of this one. a victorian lesbian romance with filthy smut and Longing(TM), what more can you wish for. i need to write the final chapter to wrap it up but i keep postponing it bc i wanna edit the entire thing before that and it is Long(TM) lol.

Third Most Comments: it's push me gently (into love)

again lol. idk why this one is so popular (that was rhetorical, i do know). alas, it's never the ones that pushed me as a writer and the ones that made me improve greatly. it's always the rom-coms with a lot of porn in them :')

Fourth Most Bookmarks: danger level - one | Star Wars (sequel trilogy) | Captain Phasma/original female character | rated E | 4,784 words

okay, this one is straight up porn lol. it's silly. if you wanna read something filthy and fun, go for it, i guess! not my best work, but it's okay.

Fifth Most Words: on wednesdays we wear black | Wednesday (TV 2022) | Larissa Weems/Morticia Addams | rated T | 7,741 words

IS THIS THE "HOW TO BEST MISREPRESENT AN AUTHOR" OR HOW TO PICK THE FICS I'M LEAST PROUD OF ADSJKHFHFSDAHFSAD GAME like i don't dislike this one, it's just my oldest fic and it's currently on hiatus bc i wanna rewrite it entirely and ughhhhh jdshffsddsa. i love the idea of it, i just. you know. aaaaaagh.

Fewest Words: the secret | The Sandman (TV 2022) | Lucifer Morningstar/Mazikeen | rated E (probably more of an M though)| 1,053 words

lolll okay this is the last fic in my kink!week series. so the premise was that i basically picked a really nasty/unusual/underrepresented/extreme kink for each of the days in the week with different gwendoline christie characters and went to town lol. and this one is the crown of the whole series. the one in which i rickrolled everybody :)))))))) (not as a kink, just to be a lil shit lol)

tagging: @zephyr-is-tired @alexusonfire @dianneking @notinmyvocab @criseydethetraitor honestly idk who else i can tag that didn't cancel me lol. if i forgot about someone (sorry!) and you wanna do it, consider yourself tagged!

[sweetsbfreex]

hi there. i liked your post about inclusivity of biopic people in fanfiction, so i went through your blog a little to see what you write.

honestly disappointed that you don’t tag fem reader content after talking all this about inclusivity. c’mon ladies. trans people read your fics, and we don’t know until we get misgendered. imagine how that feels. kinda relatable, no?

i didn’t wanna steal your thunder by reblogging with this, so i’m sending an ask. you don’t have to respond. i just wanted to let you know.

hi! saw this a few days ago and didn't rlly know how to respond.

i'm so confused on whether this about me tagging my fics as fem!reader or not ?? i genuinely did not know this was a problem, i use it to help spread my fics.

every time i write, i have a women in mind (usually myself) so i'm not really understanding with the problem is, if someone who doesn't identify as a women wants to read my fics go ahead, i have no problem with that and in no way am i trying to be exclusive towards them.

are you going to tell this to the people who tag their fics as male!reader??

i dont want to sound or seem close minded, but im genuinely so confused on what ur trying to communicate. and pls never go into another person's ask box and try and relate how poc/black people feel about being misrepresented to how a trans people could feel. they are not the same.

[sunset-peril]

The Sound of Our Silence - Chapter One - Athena Cykes?

~~~~

December 19th, 2027

4:05pm 

Wright Anything Agency 

~~~~

"...What do you mean, you're not Athena?"

It was Trucy's voice that piped up first. "Where's 'Thena??"

She couldn't answer. Children always make things difficult, even if they are large and almost fully grown. Her mind was stolen long before she was Trucy’s size, which made conversing appropriately difficult. 

"Where did you put 'Thena?!"

"When you were told 'Athena' was coming to your agency, that was in fact, me." She smiled. "The girl with the legal name Athena Cykes is long dead. A missing child whose body was never found."

"Wait-" Phoenix shook out his head. "You misrepresented yourself to the Bar? That's grounds for disbarment!"

Trucy clung to her hat. "You should know, Daddy."

The ginger sighed. "I don't give orders. I never have. I just follow whoever waves the biggest stick in my face."

Phoenix gave her the same look that he gave Apollo when the latter announced his leave. "So who told you to misrepresent yourself as a deceased child?" 

"Well, Boss, poker king, master of the slight of hand…" She flashed a sideways peace sign at him, a smirk on face. "Congratulations. Your closest companion just pulled a fast one on you." 

"Edgeworth?!" 

"The one and only."

"Who even are you? Was anything you told us true?"

She sighed, pausing and looking away. She knew the beast needed to die, but was she willing to resurrect another in its place?

"Who are you?"

"Name's Venus." Her voice was flat and cold when she finally blurted it out. "Venus Gyax. I'm from a valley outside Paris, France. I'm eighteen, a formerly licensed therapist…" She scrubbed the back of her neck like Apollo used to. "...and an escaped death row inmate."

Trucy nearly backflipped. "You're on death row too?! What did you do?!" 

"That doesn't matter." She spit that out almost venomously, before her harsh voice began to splinter. "Please…. Just…. Please don't tell them I said anything…. They'll send me back… I don't wanna go back…" A tiny confession seeped out of her. "I don't wanna die…" 

"Hey… hey, don't cry." Phoenix was never good when people started crying. "Please don't cry… just… tell us why Edgeworth choose you… why he did this." 

Edgeworth was supposed to be an upstanding prosecutor. Why bend laws and have a French convict impersonate a dead child? 

She forced her tears back down her throat, hardening her voice again. "Something about needing to force an old homicide open, the UR-1 case. Since that little girl who died was the only other possible suspect, there was no way to force an investigation or retrial." She began aggressively playing with her earring. "To be honest, I'm not sure if he actually came up with the idea or not, but he was the one who sprung me out of the clink. He also paid my medical bills when they discovered I needed a surgery. He saved me from execution, so I've always been real grateful. I was told it was because I would look like the poor girl with a bit of cosmetology work done, and was around the right age. So they had me trained to be an 18-year-old Athena Cykes. Although, it was more like a reprogramming. There were a ton of things I had to unlearn. They gave me the bar test at the end and I passed, but they refused to return my therapy license. They did have my Doctorate and Master's reprinted with the new name though." 

"Why didn't they give your license back? Was it too suspicious?"

"No…" Venus sighed. "I lost it in Germany, not France. Since the revocation of my license wasn't related to my imprisonment, they wouldn't give it back. It's a little silly, a doctor without her license, huh?"

"So, Venus," Phoenix wasn't sure he liked saying that. "Do you really know psychology? Or was that just a really big bluff."

"That part's legit. Got my Ph.D in Analytical Psychology. Dr. Venus Gyax at your service… mostly." She began playing with her earring again. "Like I said, they took my license away. I can be consulted and do research, but I'm legally not allowed to perform therapy or write prescriptions."

"What did you even do? Disbarred lawyer to disbarred therapist, you have to do something terrible."

Venus glared at Phoenix. "One day you will force my hand and mouth, but today is not that day. Be glad I'm risking my throat as it is."

"I do have one more question, then I'll let you off… for now at least." 

"Make it snappy."

"You were admitted to the ER under the name 'Athena Cykes.' If Athena's been dead for years now, why weren't you flagged?"

Venus looked at him in fear. "I… that I do not know, sir." 

"I see." Phoenix stood up and looked down at the fearful Venus. "I'm disappointed, but I won't turn you in. You clearly are willing to fight for truth; even if you're keeping vital secrets."

"Please refer to me as Athena. I didn't get permission before I told you all this."

"Of course." He smiled again. "You and I are very similar, Athena. No wonder I just knew you were right for the firm. You keep helping me with my missions, and I'll make sure you're safe." 

"Yes, sir. Of course, Boss." 

[fantisyoflove]

So You Wanna Play With Magic- Part 18

WC: 3,648

Harry sat in front of Draco waiting.

He repeated back what you had said along the bond, he only hesitated when he told Harry about you missing him. He didn’t want Harry to feel like he was left out or forgotten. He figured you didn’t say anything because it was exhausting sending things down the bond when you were this far away but also you probably didn't know he was talking so freely with Harry.

Harry nodded and was smiling, “She’s working with muggles.”

Draco scrunched his face, he thought you didn't have any problems with muggles. The whole reason you didn't get along with so many Slytherins in school, “I thought she didn’t think…”

“Oh no! It's not that!” Harry said quickly, cutting him off. “She just doesn’t like working with muggles because it means no magic, which slows their work down considerably.” Harry felt bad at the almost miscommunication. He didn't mean to misrepresent you like that. It had been a private joke you started with Harry. The only thing harder to work with than muggles was Americans.

Draco gives him an odd look but doesn't say anything.

Harry rubs the back of his head making his hair, already messy from sleep and kissing Draco, stand up even more. He scratches through his beard stretching his neck up.

Draco licks his lips, his eyes on Harry the whole time. Why did he have to act like that? Like everything he did was so casual when deep down he must know how much it affected Draco. His trousers became as strained as the tendons in Harry’s neck.

Harry rolls his neck side to side. Draco covers up the little moan that escapes the back of his throat with a cough. He needs to get a grip!

“We should go to bed.” Harry says standing up easily from the floor.

Draco nods and stands up as well. He doesn’t know where they go from here. Does he go with Harry? Is that too presumptuous? Does he ask if he can? Does he want to? Draco doesn't want to come across as eager but he is curious. The night he slept on the floor at the Weasley’s was one of the most peaceful sleeps he had ever had. He doesn’t toss and turn with nightmares but he does get them often. It seems though that when Draco is sleeping with Harry or you his mind is quiet.

“You can.. Well you can sleep in my room if you want.” Harry offers and then quickly exits so he doesn't have to watch Draco struggle to decide. Draco is very grateful for Harry leaving because he would very much like to have a full blown panic attack right now.

He takes deep breaths and tries occluding his feelings. He doesn’t want to panic right now. He wants to … well what did you call it before?

Spoons!

He wants to spoon with Harry.

[]

Harry tucks himself into bed like he does every night, putting his glasses on the little table by his and turning out the lights. He tucks his wand under his pillow and pulls the blankets high over his shoulders. He wonders if Draco will actually join him tonight. He is worried he might be reading things very wrong here.

He can't help but smile when he feels the bed dip and the shifting of the blankets soon afterwards.

“Not. a. Word.” Draco grounds out as he gets comfortable.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, Malfoy.” Harry snickered and rolled over. He could just make out the dark blob that was Malfoy.

Draco was laying on his back, he felt Harry turn over. He suddenly thought about what it would be like, if Harry touched him right now. He was already uneasy about how wanted he felt with Harry. He had thought that kissing Harry would stop all these feelings but he wanted him now more than ever. He didn’t think Harry would make a move, he seemed to be like Seamus. Letting Draco figure out his feelings on his own. Just being there and supporting him as he did.

Draco turned over onto his side. He didn't know how bad Harry’s eyesite was but Draco’s was near perfect. He watched the dark form slowly take more shape. He could make out each detail of Harry’s face.

The scars on Harry’s face stood out even in the dark. The zig zagging lines never cross over one another but spider down from his forehead towards his eyes. One particularly thick line passes through his left eyebrow. The hair never grew back over it.

Draco was fucked.

[]

Day thirteen

You lay awake the rest of the night struggling with your emotions.

On the one hand you were jealous. You felt jealous because of both of them. Harry was kissing someone else. Draco was kissing someone else. But Draco and Harry were kissing each other.

On the other hand your imagination was running wild with the ideas. If Draco was bi, like Harry, then he would be more inclined to let Harry live with you both. If Harry was open to the idea you might get to have both of them, happily.

You settled with the idea that this was a good thing, you all would just talk about it when you got back. So much was going on without you. You felt jealous about that too. You wanted to be there with them while this happened.

You fell asleep at some point in the early hours hugging your balled up blanket. You woke to the bustle of the camp starting the day.

[]

Day fourteen

Draco woke up feeling warm and safe. He cracked his eyes open just a bit. He was looking at the back of Harry's head. At some point in the night he had pulled Harry into his arms, his body flush against his. One arm was under Harry’s neck coming to rest on his chest. The other was wrapped around his waist holding his hips flush against Draco’s.

Draco could get very used to this.

Draco decided he didn’t need to hold back anymore. Clearly Harry was okay with last night's events. And somewhere subconsciously Draco was seeking Harry out even in his sleep.

He nuzzled his face against Harry’s hair and breathed him in, like fresh rain.

Harry stirred in his arms but Draco just held him closer.

“Malfoy?” Harry grumbled sleepily.

“Shhh, not yet.” Draco muttered into his hair.

Harry was a little startled when he woke up to someone holding him. At first he thought it was you, but then again he was the one who usually held you. Also, the arms that held him were much longer and paler than yours. Harry relaxed in his grasp and moved his hand to hold Draco’s. If Draco wants to make moves than Harry will meet him halfway. He laced their fingers together and held them against his chest.

Draco was utterly debauched.

[]

Day thirteen

You finished the paperwork and set it aside for Rakepick to send off. You took a rag and tried rubbing the ink splots off your skin. Everything had been put back where it belonged and the tomb was holding up now. Nothing else had collapsed, thankfully.

You had tried to visit the American who was caught in the rubble but you were told he had already been sent home. You had a hard time believing the ministry sometimes. Yes you worked for them, no you didn't trust them.

You ran into his friends though, Slim and Bugs, and they confirmed for you that Preacher was actually home. They were taking off as well just making their rounds of saying goodbye.

You always forget how Americans are huggers but you felt it was deserved since they worked so hard to free you. Bugs says he hopes they get to work together with you again soon. Slim adds that he hopes you will actually be of use instead of trapped.

Bugs punched him but you laughed anyway. You promise to call them the next time you are trapped somewhere.

You sigh, maybe you will get to go home soon!

Dean pushed back the flap on the tent and came in with a letter in his hands. “Seamus wrote back.”

You beam and throw down the cloth you were using. You skip around to the other side of the table and take the letter with glee. You don't realize how out of touch with the world this job can get until you aren't allowed to talk to anyone on the outside.

‘My Heart,

I spoke with them. They seemed to figure out what she was trying to say. Remind her to get those papers in!

Didn’t think I’d be able to find Draco on my own but he was at Harry’s when I went over. What luck!

Stay safe and I’ll see you soon.

Love you always, Seamus

P.s. the fire wasn’t my fault. Your dad was able to help me fix up the kitchen. You can’t even tell!’

You smile like an idiot. You are so glad Dean and Seamus found each other. They worked so well together as a couple.

“Thanks Dean, this means a lot to me.” You hand him the letter back. You would have to get them a very nice gift for putting up with your mess. You wish you could tell Dean the whole story, and Seamus. They both would have some good advice on how to navigate this whole thing. You hope that things fall together smoothly once you are home.

“Harry and Draco seem to get along.” He said, watching you closely. Your fingers freeze on the letter before pulling away slowly. There is no way he has guessed what is happening. Maybe part of what is going on, but for sure he can't know everything.

No, you decide, he doesn't know anything. There is no way that he could.

“Yea, I’m glad Harry and I are still friends. And he seems to get along with Draco too.” You lie easily. Dean nods and stuffs the letter into his pocket. He is looking around now, stalling.

“Rakepick said we are going to pack up tomorrow morning. We are going home.”

You feel yourself sagging into the table's edge. “Thank goodness!” You are trying to keep your tone light but he is acting weird. You are trying to puzzle out why without giving anything away.

Your brain short circuits for a moment, since when have you been the person to lie so much to your close friends.

Dean shuffled from foot to foot, he tried putting his hands in his pockets but then took them right out again. “I remember, we got called out for an assignment. Seamus and I had just gotten married and it was the first time I was away from home for so long. It doesn’t get easier.” Dean said. He held himself in a way that made you think he was trying to say more than what his words said. “Sometimes this job… this job can be a lot.”

You gave him a curious look. You are having a hard time following this conversation. Was Dean questioning your ability to do your job? Was this because of the tunnel collapse? “I know, Dean, I can handle it.”

Dean frowns down at his hands while he twists his fingers, watching them intently. “I know you can, but can he?”

Your head snapped up. Was he talking about Draco? You had never thought about it like that. You knew there were times when Seamus would invite you over and bake and bake and bake while Dean was gone. He just liked the company in the house. Their home was warm and inviting and Seamus had a network of people he could call on to stay with him. He was almost never alone, but you could see it weighed on him. Draco would at least have Harry, hopefully, if that kiss was anything to go on.

“I guess we will find out as time goes on. Drao will learn to adjust. We will have a whole network of people around us.”

Dean took another breath, “I don't think Seamus can anymore.”

Oh.

“Dean.” You say his name like a sigh. You hold out your hand for him and he takes your hand.

“It’s okay. It was fun for a few years but after the accident back in January… It shook him up quite a bit.” Dean was whispering now, you squeezed his hand and he met your eyes. “I am not even sure he will handle me telling him about this trip.”

You squeezed his hand again. The accident wasn't even one of the worst ones that had happened to Dean. You wonder if Dean had even told Seamus the whole truth about it. You had told Harry but you kept it mild for Draco.

“I’m going to apply for a different position in the department when we get back. Something where I can be home every night. I feel like I’m missing out on the most important things in my life.”

You give him a soft smile and use his hand to pull yourself up and into his arms. You hold him close for a moment before you both feel more arms around you. You pull your head up to see Bill wrapping you both in a giant hug.

You all break down laughing and Bill lifts you both up easily off the ground. You catch the sight of Fleur laughing too. This will be the last time the four of you work together. Dean is a step above you which means someone else will need to take his role. You hope it's Fleur, you love working with her.

Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you notice Dean’s eyes look misty too. He wouldn’t be gone, just a little further away.

‘I’m coming home!’ You shout down the bond. Your heart has never felt fuller.

[]

Draco was still snuggled up close to Harry when he felt the shiver just before your voice echoed in his mind.

‘I am coming home!’ you sounded so excited.

Draco lifted his head to tell Harry what you said but a movement caught his eye. His body felt a rush of adrenaline and he almost lept out of the bed. The weight of Harry in his arms slowed his body down long enough for his brain to catch up with what he was seeing.

You stood in the doorway, you still had your traveling cloak on. You were too excited to see them to take it off. You figured you would go to Draco’s room to see him first but stopped when you noticed the two forms in the bed. A warm smile spread over your face as you took the scene in.

The blankets had been tucked in around their shoulders. You could make out the mop of white blond hair spilling out on the dark blue sheets. Draco was holding Harry close to his chest and you could make out, under the blanket, Draco had his leg thrown over Harry’s hip as well.

Draco met your eyes and cleared his throat roughly. Harry jerked his head up at the sharp sound. He followed Harry’s gaze to the door,

“Y/n!” He startled and fell unceremoniously with a thud onto the floor before scrambling up and rushing to you.

Harry scooped you into his arms, lifting you off your feet, and kissed you. His lips lapped at yours greedily. You were smiling so wide your cheeks hurt as you kissed him back. Harry peppered your face with kisses before going for your neck. His skin was so hot from sleep and his kisses burned against your skin. You wanted more.

You remember when you slept in Draco's bed for the first time how long it had been since you had sex. You craved the physical parts of a relationship that had been put on hold with everything going on. Clearly that amount of time was also too much for Harry.

He scraped his teeth along the soft spot just below your ear. You let out a soft gasp before he pulled back. His eyes were trying to focus on yours. You cupped his cheeks and pressed your forehead against his.

Draco had sat up and watched you two from the bed. He wanted to greet you as well but figured Harry deserved to go first. Draco’s heart sank a bit thinking you would probably always pick Harry first. His grip tightened on the blankets in his lap. He had to force himself to throw them back and swing his legs over the edge.

“You were right.” Harry whispers into your ear, so soft. You smile and close your eyes. You could never take this wonderful man for granted. He pulls back and gives you a little push, not that you need it.

“All over?” You ask, your body is vibrating with excitement. You missed your fiance.

Draco looks confused before you tackle him down onto the bed. You cover as much of his body as you can with your own and kiss him. Draco let out an ‘oof’ as your weight pressed into him. His hands rested tentatively on your hips and he let you kiss him over and over.

Honestly, he was holding back. He was waiting for the anger. For you to lash out. For you to be upset with how you found him. He caught himself though and chastised these thoughts. He had to remind himself that you were not like all the people who had hurt him before.

Your lips kept moving along his jaw and then his neck. You can feel his frigid demeanor melting against you.

“I’m sorry,” You mutter against his lips. “I was trying to find you first.”

Draco pulls back slightly, you wanted to see him first? You were going to pick him first.

Your hands, so gentle, running though his hair. He started kissing you back in earnest. You felt his apprehension and his fear also fading. He grunts as he crushes you close to him and rolls you over so he can pin you under him.

You are giggling now as he dusts kisses along your neck. He stops suddenly and cups your cheek, staring into your eyes.

“You aren’t mad?” He is holding his breath now. He doesn’t want to ask. He has to ask. He has to hear it. From your very beautiful, very kissable lips.

You snort, “No, why would I be?”

Draco turns his head to look over to where Harry was standing but he must have slipped out of the room. Waves of guilt come off of him through the bond.

He looks back at you and his tongue flicks out to lick his lips. “I kissed Harry.” He blurts out suddenly. You look startled at his outburst but then your features soften.

“Your face?” You bring your hand up and cup his cheek guiding him back to your mouth. “I am only sad that I missed it.” You start carding your fingers through his hair again. It isn't possible but you think it's longer than you remember.

Draco’s eyes narrowed and he pulled back slightly, “You knew.”

You feel your cheeks heat. You have a basic understanding of how much Draco craves control of his own life. You saw how afraid he was when he found out you could feel his emotions. Still, you couldn't lie to him.

“The bond, I guess, has added a new… well like a bonus feature.” You tried to sound cheery.

“What feature?” Draco asked, his tone was guarded.

“I can sort of see… like a vision… when you kiss someone.”

Draco takes a moment to process this. “How long?”

“Since we went to visit Pansy. But that's it, just the kiss between you and her. And then well the one between you and Harry.”

Draco won't meet your eye.

“Which by the way, did he hurt you?”

Now Draco looked at you, “Harry?” He asked, completely aghast.

“No, Flint. The vision seems to cut out shortly after the kiss ends.”

Draco looked away briefly before looking back at you. He wasn’t exactly looking at you but at the space next to you. “No, Pansy stunned him before he could hit me.”

You let out a choked gasp. “Is she alright?”

“Yes, I checked on her shortly after. I guess part of their bond makes it so Flint can't hurt her. Even if he wanted to.”

“So strange how the bond picks and chooses what each partner has.”

Harry came back into the room, “Sorry, loo, what did I miss.”

“You kissed Draco?” You snap, not very intimidating, still pinned under Draco.

Harry is stunned, “Actually he kissed me.” He stutters. He put his glasses back though they are askew on his face. He takes a step back and pushes his glass back up his nose.

Draco now looks betrayed. He sits up and glares at Harry. “I’m quite sure, Potter, that this was entirely your fault. You are the one who learned that move from Seamus! And you used it on me!”

You prop yourself up on your elbows, “Ooo, which move was it?” You wiggle your eyebrows at Harry.

He laughs now, “Draco actually worked out that Seamus and I had been a thing. I’m still not sure how you could tell.”

Draco sniffs and crosses his arms, pouting, he won’t tell.

Harry climbs up onto the bed facing Draco, who looks very scared right now. But you can feel the excitement running through him. Harry is on his knees, like Draco, he shuffles closer. Harry’s thigh brushes up against Draco’s before he turns at the last moment and leans down to kiss you.

[tigerbears]

i don't mean to sound terminally online or anything but i just thought you might wanna know that you reblogged undertale art from a proshipper (carlyraejepsans)

obviously this is your blog and you can reblog whatever you want, i just felt like i should tell you

Great, I wanted to avoid "the discourse" relating to that document (or just any tumblr discourse callout crap in general) but guess I have to tackle it.

I assume this is relating to that callout post from someone who will go unnamed.

Carlyreajapsans doesn't ship Chasriel. The evidence for that seems either out of context/intentional misrepresentation (or posts I can't find) or relating to Chara X Frisk. (Which is only incest under specific circumstances. I'm not going into the bloody ethics of "dating a ghost of a child who died 100 years ago and was adopted by a character who doesn't even adopt you in half of the pacifist endings." Especially as I don't even ship it.)

Aged-up discourse is stupid. There's a difference between people who use it as a shield to hide that their a creep and actually aging up the characters.

The guilt by association crap is to tiring to factcheck especially as they seemed to distance themself/blocked some of those people anyway and some of the connections definitely seem out of context and not there. (I used to reblog/follow some random UTY blog until I found they were a religious weirdo who kept reblogging accounts flagged by Shinigami Eyes on their main blog. Slip ups like that happen.)

In fact a lot of those quotes appear out of context after looking at them closely.

Maybe I'd trust the callout post more if it didn't have misrepresented/stretched arguments and linked to the OG posts instead of using screenshots for most of them as it honestly it read as manipulative and malicious. (especially seeing the holes in some of the examples)

I fucking hate the pro-ship/anti ship discourse. (I go into more detail in my Tumblr's DNI footnotes.) I'm not a "proshipper" but I think there's a difference between "creeps who ship i*cest and p*edophilia while not recognizing that anythings wrong" and "people writing/handling dark subjects like i*cest and p*edophilia with care while recognizing that these things are fucked up and wrong, all the while not portraying it as a good thing."

Aim the blame at actual creeps not people who write about dark topics.

I hate callout culture because factchecking accusations is exhausting. Because of the amount of fake accusations you have to bloody do factchecking because I'm a weirod who cares about knowing the truth but sometimes it's fucking tiring to check if the accusations are real or BS.

But I added their posts to my queue before I was aware of this stupid discourse and I'm to tired to put together a post factchecking the callout/refuting each part of the post, so I'm instead going to purge all my reblogs/likes of carlyraejepsans, not because I actually think their problematic or a proshipper (I'm very skeptical of the callout docs motives) but JUST so I don't get asks like this.

Your welcome (/sarcasm) now go away. (/negative)