#didn’t prescribe me anything new or even refill that script

[sadlittlestray]

i need to sleep so i can pick up a funny watch tomorrow (today) to prove (again) my sleep is funny. but u will never guess the problem i am having right now

[filthforfriends]

Okay wish not granted fine but this is day 4 without my Adderall because:

“Hey I submitted a refill request yesterday and I haven’t received any updates”

“We’re actually waiting on your doctors approval”

“So you sent the request over?”

“Yes”

“Okay thanks. And is there any way around getting a new script every month?”

“No, it’s a controlled substance”

“Is there anyways for me to submit a refill request earlier?”

“Unfortunately not”

☎️

“Hey I had my pharmacy send over a refill request yesterday but haven’t heard anything back”

“I’m not seeing it here. It may have gone straight to the nurses station”

 “okay can you have a nurse practitioner send the prescription back to my pharmacy please?”

“I’m sorry, we can’t do that”

“I’ll call my pharmacy right now and ask for them to resend the refill request. It’ll take less than 10 minutes, I promise. 5 minutes!”

“Unfortunately only psychiatrists can refill controlled substances”

“Then can you please ask my psychiatrist to refill this on his way out?”

“Your psychiatrist isn’t working today.”

“But he was working yesterday when the refill request was sent?”

“Yes, but the front desk didn’t receive it”

“Okay um…mistakes happen so can you have another psychiatrist in your office refill it by any chance? I’ve been a patient for almost 10 years.”

“Our other psychiatrist is actually on vacation unfortunately”

“The Adderall also really helps with my depression and if I don’t get it today I won’t have it all weekend. Unless I can get it refilled over the weekend, which I don’t think you guys do.”

“We’re closed this weekend that’s correct.”

“Is there another way I can do this that’s more effective? I can’t submit for a refill until 2 days before I’m out, but it always takes 4 days to get it refilled and the pharmacy won’t give me an extra 3 day supply because it’s in this special drug class.”

“Right, Adderall is a controlled substance unfortunately”

“And theres no one in your whole psychiatry clinic with the credentials to refill a controlled substance?”

“No.”

“What about the hospital?”

“What?”

“Your clinic is part of a hospital. The ER should have a psychiatrist on call for consults. Even if they’re not physically in the building, they could refill my prescription. I know this is annoying but could you please contact them?”

“Like I said, there are no psychiatrists in office.”

“No, I know that but there would have to – Okay, like at my local hospital for example, they offer triage. Psychiatrists are part of that triage so they have to be available.”

“I guess you could try going there then.”

“Your ER also offers triage. There has to be someone available

“I don’t think so because they send all those consult requests here.”

“So there’s no way for me to get my prescription before this weekend?”

“No but you see your prescriber on Monday”

I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEVERAL DAYS UNTIL 40 NOTES

I always thought the neurotypicals were batshit when they said "careful, sometimes you get what you wish for" like why the fuck else would I wish for it?????

I am very thankful for all the comments, but I wish for my wish to take longer

[jenroses]

Fun times on the prescription refill calliope below the cut:

1. Fondaparinux: This medication is the only anticoagulant that a) my insurance covers, b) I am not allergic or otherwise sensitive to, c) that doesn’t cause me great pain administering it and d) doesn’t make my hair fall out. (keep in mind my hair is a half inch long, this is not a major consideration, but given a choice I will choose the thing that does not make my hair fall out.) I’m also stable on it.

2. Therefore almost no doctors have heard of it, I had to fight tooth and nail to get it prescribed and eventually did an end run around the doctors who should have known enough about it to prescribe it but didn’t “feel comfortable” even though they told me the other option literally increased my risk of death (and caused me great pain and made my hair fall out.)

3. I can safely go a day without anticoagulation. I cannot go multiple days without risking a DVT or pulmonary embolism. I’ve had at least 1 dvt and four PEs, so this is important. Because of my general inflammation level and exercise intolerance, I am very high risk for clots and the only reason I’m not fully therapeutic level on anticoagulants is that I have other meds that muck around with how I process anticoagulants and so I need to be a little lower or I bleed. This is a balanced system which requires that I take this drug EVERY DAY or I could stroke out or have an embolism. My last two embolisms were silent other than SOB. They formed in situ, rather than migrating. It’s Not A Good Idea to muck around with this.

4. So I did a lot of research into every alternative and they either contained things I’ve reacted to or they are specifically excluded from my insurance as “too new” or experimental. I’m genetically prone to not handling warfarin well, in a “I go from not anticoagulated to peeing blood with no warning” sort of way. Xarelto caused me so much joint pain that it was probably responsible for the failure of at least six rheumatoid arthritis drugs. Lovenox is fine at 40 mg. They wanted me to take 180 mg twice a day. That shit HURTS. It was not good for my mental health. The fondaparinux is once a day and the same volume as the 40 mg of lovenox, it rarely hurts at all. 

5. Because Fondaparinux is not prescribed very often, hardly any pharmacies carry it. I used to be able to get it at my local Savon, but not walgreens, bimart, costco or any of the other ones I called. 

6. Savon only filled 22 the last time they did it because their distributor stopped carrying it.

7. I called around, a lot, finally resorting to the specialty pharmacy that handled my Humira, and they said, “Oh, the hospital pharmacy will have it.” 

8. The hospital is 100 miles from my house. But they will ship it!

9. I have new secondary insurance, which is good, because my primary took this generic drug and made it tier fucking 4 which is a 50/50 copay on a drug that’s about $1100 per month rather than the $10 per month I paid last year. Secondary insurance will cover it... IF ANY PHARMACY CAN FIGURE OUT TO DO THIS CORRECTLY. It took some doing to get it covered but they finally did it.

10. They filled the script and sent me 30 syringes because it’s dosed by the syringe, one syringe a day.

11. I called for a refill. After not seeing or hearing anything for 5 days, I called and they said, “It’s sitting here ready for pickup, and the copay is $300.”

12. I had them rebill it, and they sent it, and I recieved... 12 syringes. 3 days before I was due to run out. 

13. I called and asked wtf this is not a month’s supply and they said, “Oh, your doctor prescribed it that way.” Then the person I was talking to made some noise about “36 is a 3 month supply so 12 is a 1 month supply” and I said, “That’s not right, you got this right last month, why are you doing this?”

14. I called the doctor’s office, and they said, “We prescribed it the way we were told to prescribe it,” and we tried to figure out how they got 12 and I was like, “Maybe they thought since it was .4 ml per syringe that it was 12 ml total and got confused?” (the math isn’t quite right on this, but anyway.) 

15. I called to get it refilled when I had like, 8 or 9 syringes left, like 5 days after I got it, and they said, “We’ll send the request to the doctor.” I said, “Make sure it’s for 30 syringes per 30 day period.”

16. Nothing happened. So I called the doctor’s office and they sent a note back. Nothing happened. 

17. I called the pharmacy and then the doctor’s office like... 6-8 times in a 4 day period. 

18. Every time the pharmacy said, “We’re waiting on your doctor” and the doctor said, “we don’t have a request.”

19. I finally made everyone talk to each other and then it got REALLY screwy. 

20. I talked to the pharmacy, called the doctor’s office, waited, then the same day, the doctor’s office called me and told me the pharmacy told them that the copay was too high and it should be sent to a different, even harder to deal with pharmacy. 

I called my secondary insurance company to ensure that yes, they would pay for it and they said, “Oh, they never even tried to bill us.”

Reader, I might have lost my shit. I managed to keep it together enough to call my doctor’s office back to say, “Send the prescription back to that pharmacy. I will call them and give them instructions.”

I called the pharmacy back, and said, “You will be getting the refill within minutes. DO NOT let your pharmacist send it back. Bill the first insurance, and then bill my secondary insurance the way you’ve had to for every other script you’ve filled for me. The copay will be zero. Please deliver the medication as soon as possible.”

And then I waited on hold, for the last 20 minutes of a total of 3-4 hours on the phone.  

And when she came back to talk to me, she said, “We have to order it, so it won’t be there until Friday.”

NGL I assumed at first she meant 10 days from now. I said, “This Friday?”

And yes, this Friday. I’ll still have 3-4 syringes on hand when it gets here. 

Anyway, that’s where 100% of my executive function for at least a week has gone. 

Insurance won’t allow a 90 day fill on this drug this year. This drug that I will probably be taking for YEARS. 

[daemonmatthias]

complaints about finding a new obgyn below the cut

SO! Idk how much he paid for it or whatever, but my dad had AMAZING insurance. We never had a problem finding people who took it, the copays were small or non-existent. It was great.

Then I turned 26. I paid $200 out of pocket for birth control for 2 months. Because the insurance offered at my work fucking SUCKS and I was getting married two months after my 26th birthday. 

First I have all sorts of trouble with the pharmacy those months. I would refill the rx on the app, and then never hear from them so I’d go in and... what we eventually determined was happening appears to be that because my insurance wasn’t going to cover it, the system never told them about it?? idk. So they’d be like, “so you want us to release it anyway??” “yes please.” “ok, we don’t have any in stock. we’ll order it and it’ll be ready in two days.” (When I was supposed to start my new pack, y’know THAT NIGHT, already 1-2 days after I tried to refill it.)

After all that trouble... it happened again shortly after I get put on my husband’s insurance. This time “because it says your new insurance doesn’t cover it.” So then I had to call the insurance-  they want prior authorization in order to cover the name brand. (The generic brand does NOT work AT ALL for me. The PMS symptoms were right back to like I wasn’t taking it at all.)

So then I called my doctor’s office. The receptionist takes all my info down and tells me that she’ll give it all to my doctor and she’ll call be back if she needs anything else. Then she tells me, “Ohhh we don’t take you’re new insurance.” (She still gave my info though. I was just going to need to find a new doctor for when the script ran out.)

But then the doctor calls me back to tell me “we don’t do prior authorization for birth control. you need to get a list from your insurance of what they cover and we’ll prescribe you something similar that’s on the list.”

All of this is happening while I’m trying to finish out the school year AND legally change my name, btw.

But I look. And the insurance’s “find a provider” thing is NONSENSE. It had my current doctor on there. It doesn’t let you do ANYTHING in new tabs even if you right-click and click “open in new tab” OR save your place in the list when you go back. I got annoyed and gave up. I didn’t have time for all that bs.

So school wrapped up and I ran out of that pack. I don’t have the money to keep paying $200 for this birth control. I decided... to just not. Give it a month for me to relax and see about finding a new doctor and whatnot.

The pack ran out and it took a full week and a half from when I was supposed to start for my period to finally start. And I remember exactly what drove me to make that first obgyn appointment. God this is awful. And I wasn’t prepared. We had to go buy pads because all I had was tampons and liners, and a tampon was not going to get me through the night. And then we were JUST putting my card into the reader to pay when I realized that I was also out of pamprin too. Robert said he’d stop on his way home today to get it. I told him, “I’ll let you know. Maybe this is the worst of it and I won’t need it tomorrow.” Nope. He’ll be stopping. 

I looked at providers again today. And this time it only shows me one page of results. (Idk I guess they updated the list finally?) But it also tells me that there are 5 results that are female doctors and then won’t show me any more than 2. (The same 2.) So apparently I will have to see a male doctor whether I like it or not because those two are NOWHERE NEAR ME. It says 15 miles but like.... they’re on the OPPOSITE side of the city. It’d take me an hour to get there on a school day... One of them is literally in LAKE WORTH when I live like 1.5 miles from the Arlington city limits sign. Then again... one of the male doctors on the list has the EXACT SAME address only it says “Fort Worth” instead of “Lake Worth” even though the zip and everything is identical so.... idk. I don’t really just this stupid find a provider tool....

So basically I’m annoyed. This whole thing is way more trouble than it needs to be.

[lunamanar]

I’ve been contemplating whether of not to talk about this on this blog, but after yesterday I’m kind of in a “whatever” sort of mindset, this is the biggest audience I have and I think it’s probably important for some people other than myself. If it were just me, posting this would just be wankery, since there’s nothing I can really do about it except complain.

But I know it’s not just me, and the likelihood that more and more people are experiencing this is quite high: If you have CVS Caremark for prescription insurance (meaning you cannot use any pharmacy except CVS for recurring scripts), and you take ANY Schedule 4 or "worse” medication regularly--this includes many mental health medications--please know that there is a new rule at CVS, at least in my neck of the woods (Delaware/Pennsylvania/Maryland/New Jersey).

Your doctor can no longer fax your prescription to CVS.The prescription MUST be delivered in person, OR the prescribing doctor must call the pharmacy and speak with an actual pharmacist. CVS has decided that it was too easy for people with chronic illnesses to obtain medications for those illnesses, so they decided to make it not just hard for you as a patient, now your physician is going to have to deal with their crap as well. 

I am a fibromyalgia patient. I have pretty damn bad fibro (without meds I will quickly become so stiff and sore that *sleeping* causes me immense pain) and I take a relatively high dose of Lyrica (pregabalin) to help me deal with it. Lyrica is an expensive, name-brand only drug and I pay more per month in that + my other meds than I do on my mortgage. So, just for context, if I could be on ANYTHING else and enjoy the same amount of funtionality, you’ better believe I would. I’m not dumping thousands of dollars into these little red caplets for funzies. I know there are plenty of other people who are in a similar situation, hence this half-complaint, half-PSA. 

Two weeks ago, I ran out of Lyrica. I had already proactively called my doctor’s office and asked for a renewed script. As per usual, they sent the prescription to my pharmacy via fax but were told it’s “too early” (note: 1 day too early, and CVS appears to not believe in 31-day months because their cutoff for “you are allowed to ask for a refill” on scheduled drugs consistently leads to problems obtaining said prescription at the end of each month. So if you got your prescription on the 1st of, say, October, on October 30th you would run out of the medication, but CVS will force you to wait that extra day before even filing your request. Basically I’m almost guaranteed to run out before I’m even able to get a new prescription). So, OK, fine, you’re doing the 1-day-too-early thing, I hate it, but I can wait one day.

I prepare for this by spacing out my doses when I get low on the medication. But I was NOT prepared to engage in a two-week-long fight with my pharmacy this month, and as a result, I am in full withdrawal and my hands are intermittently difficult to control. TL;DR - day 31 rolled around, my doctor’s office called it in again and...nothing happened. 

And I called the pharmacy. “We haven’t received any refill requests for that medication.”

I called by doctor’s office. “We just sent the request, they should have it, but we’ll try again. 

Called CVS an hour later. “We haven’t gotten any requests.”

Called my doctor’s office. “We just got off the phone with the pharmacy, it should be ready soon.” 

“Soon” never comes. Two days later, CVS still insists they have not received anything. 

On and on for days, until I finally got so angry I demanded to speak to the pharmacist, to conference them in with my doctor’s office if necessary. 

That’s when I learned that she “cannot process scheduled medications without verbal or written confirmation directly from the general practitioner, and faxes don’t count.” 

It was all because of this stupid new rule. Which I was not informed about until yesterday: at CVS, scheduled drugs MUST either be written and delivered by hand OR your actual general practitioner (not a nurse or med tech who works for your doctor, not even ANOTHER doctor, for that matter--it has to be YOUR doctor) must call and speak specifically with the pharmacist. Otherwise, CVS is not only not allowed per their policy to fill your prescription, they simply toss it out and ignore it and it never even makes it into the system, preventing any “accidental” refills.

So when you call them and ask them what the deal is, they’ll claim to have not received the order, when what actually happened was that they threw your prescription away and did not record your request. 

I don’t know how this is legal, but it apparently is. To be fair, whatever poor sap answers the phone probably has legit not seen your prescription: because it’s their policy to ignore faxed prescriptions for scheduled drugs, it won’t even be in their computer system. As far as that poor pharmacy tech knows, they never received the request. So don’t get mad at the messenger. 

It took me two weeks to figure out why all the faxes my doctor’s office was sending were “mysteriously” disappearing. No one thought to explain this new rule until I was both very sick and very angry. My doctor’s office even called the pharmacy, and the pharmacy tech did write the request in, but since it didn’t go through the proper channels, the request was discarded without notifying me or my doctor. Round and round, doctor’s office sends/calls in the refill, CVS tech takes the message, refill is denied because it hadn’t been requested correctly. Only when I finally started demanding to know why they weren’t getting the script, did I work my way up to the pharmacist herself, who explained that she cannot even put the prescription in the system because we failed to follow CVS’s unannounced procedure in order to process the script. Meanwhile, I’m in massive amounts of pain and can’t always drive because I’m shaking and twitching so badly. That’s just horribly annoying for me; imagine if this was something you took to prevent actual seizures or mitigate nerve damage from diabetes, or if you took the medication to prevent suicidal thoughts. Not knowing/understanding the rule change could potentially put you in the hospital, or worse. Other scheduled medications include antidepressants and mood stabilizers. The medications most often prescribed for things like bi-polar or even schizophrenia are scheduled drugs. A sudden delay/gap in medication could be deadly.

So if you are stuck with CVS Caremark and are on a controlled substance of some kind to treat a chronic illness, please ensure your doctor knows that CVS no longer accepts faxed-in prescriptions on these drugs. 

I know I’m repeating myself a lot but I think this is very important--

Your TWO options for scheduled scripts and CVS Caremark are: 1. Get a written prescription ahead of time from your doctor, and bring it to the pharmacy in person on “day 31.” 2. Make sure your actual primary care physician calls your pharmacy and speaks with the actual pharmacist to process the refill. 

If you do not do one of those two things, CVS will probably not even put the refill request in their computer system, let alone fill it on time. So they won’t even realize a refill request was made by your doctor and it may be WEEKS before you and your doctor jump through their hoops in a way that enables them to approve your refill(s). Meanwhile here’s no paper trail, no record of the request, because you didn’t follow this brand new rule of which they have conveniently decided not to notify patients. 

Anyway...I think I’ve said the same thing about five times at this point, and I apologize for the long post, so I’ll leave it here. I was angry enough to type this post one-handed because my left hand is a twitchy trash mess right now, so sorry for any typos and sloppy grammar, I just can’t be arsed to fix it right now. 

[chronicillnessproblems]

List of really fun things my new PCP did today:

Didn’t know that I had EDS when she walked into the room. It was definitely in my chart from when I saw the NP. Like, absolutely no way it wasn’t. She just didn’t read my chart.

Nurse took down my list of questions/concerns/topics at the start of the appointment, the doctor tried to leave without addressing anything but the klonopin script so clearly she didn’t read that either before starting the appointment. Was also pretty dismissive about those other issues.

When she did read the stuff I brought, she pronounced about a dozen medical words wrong when skimming my medical list, including not particularly hard or particularly medical words (like, “fusion.” I forget what she said. Something like fission but that wasn’t it.)

Didn’t get why I see doctors in another state. (Because all you guys here FUCKING SUCK)

Didn’t get why I’m not just on disability? (what, like, it’s hard? Yes, because I DON’T PAY TAXES or even have a permanent address I live at to decide which state I’m supposed to be applying with.) 

I went in in my wheelchair, so when I told her I needed my birth control refilled she asked if I needed it to regulate periods because, hahhaha, obviously, the idea of me being sexually active is ridiculous. (I mean, I’m not sexually active, and if I were I’d probably be dating at least mostly women, but it’s because I’m too fucking sick to go out, not because disabled people are SO unattractive/not sexual. Fuck her.)

Anyway, so since I’m OBVIOUSLY not sexually active the idea of me needing a pap smear was also ridiculous because haha there’s no risk. Not like I have IgA deficiency and chronic infections of multiple sorts due to that, and am at least at risk of minor stuff that an exam that’s DEFINITELY covered is worth having, but that’s not the argument I chose. Hopefully I don’t have anything major or minor.

She says she doesn’t want to prescribe me the benzo that I’ve been on for two years because I’m also very, very occasionally on hydrocodone and if she prescribes me one while I’m on the other we’ll both be “put on a list” because “federal regulations” (or state regulations, I think she said both? I think the truth is NEITHER though) so I have to promise to go off the other first.

She “can’t” prescribe Low Dose Naltrexone. Not like, doesn’t feel comfortable, but “can’t.” Despite me reading to her my geneticist recommendation to try it for fatigue by finding a local prescriber. I swear to god she said to me in the same sentence, “ask XYZ doctor any doctor can write a prescription,” but “I can’t write a prescription, because it’s not a primary care thing.” 

“Idk why you don’t get the flu vaccine, despite you just telling me that your immunologist and geneticists say not to because of your IgA deficiency and potential to not even retain vaccine immunity due to probable CVID, I think you should get the flu vaccine! Get the hypoallergenic one!” 

[pharmacyfollies]

Same Shit, Bigger Pile: Pharmacy Follies

-There's one thing I don't understand and that's when people bitch about NOT getting notified when their prescriptions are ready. Nevermind the fact that if you haven't injected insulin into your body for 3 months being the biggest clue that you may need to check on the status of that shit but if all your contact information, phone number and email address, is correct, I fail to understand how you aren't getting notified.

For example, I refilled my prescription on Thursday before I left that shitter of a pharmacy. Friday, I received a text and an email that it's ready. Today, I just received a text message AND an automated phone call telling me I need to pick up my shit and it's only 10:14am Central time. I don't understand how any of these silly shits claim they haven't taken their Norvasc which is "REALLY IMPORTANT" in 2 weeks because "no one called me!" when I get more texts/emails/phone calls from the fucking pharmacy than I do from men and it's starting to border on stalking. The fuck's going on around here?!!

-Asshole: "I'm here to pick up a prescription."

Me: "It's coming up too soon. The insurance will pay for it on the 19th."

Asshole: "I don't understand why. I need it."

I look in her profile and notice it was filled at a different store.

Me: "The reason it's coming up too soon is because it was filled at a different pharmacy."

Asshole: "I told the doctor to send it here."

Me: "He did. After he sent it to the other pharmacy. Since they got the script first, they billed the insurance. I'll have to have them reverse the claim if you want to get it here."

Asshole: "How long will it take to fill?"

Me: "Right now, about 30 minutes. The pharmacist is doing vaccinations."

Asshole: "Why so long?"

Me: "Because we're busy. You just waited in line for about 10 minutes. There's a lot of people who want to wait who came before you."

Asshole: "But my doctor sent my prescription a while ago!"

Me: "Yes, he did. However, because he also sent it to another pharmacy, it was stuck in our system due to the insurance already being billed for it. So in order for me to fill it, the claim at the other pharmacy has to be reversed and then we can fill it here."

Asshole: "But my doctor wasn't supposed to send it to the other pharmacy!"

Me: "I get that but it doesn't change the fact that he did. So in order to correct your doctor's mistake, I have to reverse the claim and then fill it here. It will be at least 30 minutes. So you have 2 options. You can go to the other pharmacy where it's already filled and ready to go or you can wait 30 minutes and get it here. What will it be?"

Asshole: "Ok, I'll wait."

So I do what I have to do to get the claim reversed from the other pharmacy and it's in the process of getting filled. H finally gets done doing her vaccinations and she's trying to get caught up with all the scripts that are waiting when Asshole goes to the consultation window.

H: "Did you have a question?"

Asshole: "My doctor sent over a prescription and I was told it will be 30 minutes to get it filled. Why is it going to take so long?"

H was NOT in the mood for that level of fuckery so she told her bluntly....

H: "Because you're not my only patient. I have other people ahead of you, I've been doing vaccinations and I'm the only pharmacist here. I can only take care of 1 person at a time."

Asshole: "Is it really going to take that long?"

H: "Well, the longer you keep talking to me, the longer it's going to take to fill your prescription. I can't verify prescriptions as long as I'm being distracted."

That's when Asshole took her stank ass back to the waiting area and you can bet your sweet asses it took 30 minutes to fill her shit.

-OMFG!! My coworkers can attest to how I would lose my shit every time these would come in because someone brought in a script for condoms. Mainly because Medicaid would cover them. Now, I'm NOT saying you shouldn't use condoms. You absolutely should. My issue is the *least* a dude can due is BUY some damn condoms. If he's unwilling to do so to the point where you have to take time out of your day to see a doctor to get a script for something that's readily available for $5 over the counter then perhaps you should reconsider tossing that cheap bastard a slice of cooch. It's something to ponder.

-So I'm in the process of typing in a clusterfuck of a Coumadin prescription. I'm sure all of you in the business understand that how that goes. I notice someone in line so I say...

Me: "I'll be right with you."

Because when it comes to prescriptions, I like to make sure everything I type in is correct so I don't accidentally kill someone. After a moment, Asshole says...

Asshole: "Are you going to take long because you told me you'd be right with me like 30 seconds ago."

Needless to say, I didn't tolerate that shit kindly...

Me: "I'm finishing up a prescription that came in before you walked in line. Are you picking up?"

Asshole: "No, I just want to buy this stuff."

Me: "You don't need to come to the pharmacy to purchase over the counter stuff. You can go to the front."

Asshole: "Oh, ok. I just want to let you know that I kind of made a mess in the aisle. I had to pull out all of the bottles off of the shelf so I could find the ones with the later expiration dates."

Me: "Whatever. Just let them know up front."

-Me: "Can I help you?"

Asshole: "I need you to tell me my doctor's name."

Because I thought I hallucinated...

Me: "Huh?"

Asshole: "I need you tell me my doctor's name, and the phone number if you have it, so I can call them."

Me: "You don't know your doctor's name?"

Asshole: "No."

And she said it in a way as if it's nuttier than a bag of squirrel shit to know your doctor's name.

Me: "According to your profile, you see 3 different doctor's."

Asshole: "The one located on Pulaski."

Me: "None of them are located on Pulaski."

Asshole: "No, I know one of them is located on Pulaski."

Me: "Dr. M is located across the street, Dr. E is located down the street and Dr. H is located on State Street."

Asshole: "It's Dr. H."

If any of you know Chicago area geography, I'm sure you'll understand the stupidity between Pulaski and State Street. For those who don't know, Pulaski and State Street are NO WHERE NEAR EACH OTHER. The bonus of this is the doctor in question is a Gynecologist. How in the fuck do you NOT know the name of the doctor who put a finger in the pink and one in the stink?!! God help me.

-So every month a doctor sends in prescriptions for Wank Pot. If it's not covered by Medicaid, he refuses to take it. So I'm typing in the prescriptions when I see scripts for Vitamin C 500mg and Folic Acid 800mcg, I put that shit on hold because I know, due to the 9 script for the same shit on hold in his profile, that he's not going to pay for it so it makes no sense to even fill it. He comes to pick his shit up and here's where the fuckery begins....

Wank Pot: "I'm here to pick up my prescriptions."

I fetch his sack of drugs and he's going over them.

Wank Pot: "I'm missing Vitamin C and Folic Acid."

Me: "They weren't covered so we didn't fill them."

WP: "But I need them! My doctor prescribed them and says I need to take them!"

Me: "Ok, are you going to pay for them?"

WP: "Doesn't my insurance cover them?"

Me: "No, they don't. They never did. You know this. We go through this every month. If you want them, we can fill them and you can pay cash price for them."

WP: "I'm not going to pay for them."

Me: "Ok, no problem."

WP: "So why weren't they filled?"

Me: "Because they're not covered and we know that you're not going to pay for them."

WP: "Isn't that for me to decide?"

Me: "Ok, so do you want us to fill them?"

WP: "Only if they're covered by my insurance."

Me: "Medicaid doesn't cover them. They're over the counter."

WP: "So why weren't they filled?"

Me: "Because you refuse to pay for anything that's not covered by your insurance."

WP: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Me: "Why would we fill something if we know you're not going to pay for it?"

WP: "It should be up to me to say yes or no."

Me: "Ok, so do you want them? It will be $5 for the both of them."

WP: "No. I'm not paying out of pocket for medication."

Me: "And that's why we didn't fill them."

WP: "Who are all of you to decide what to fill when it comes to my medication?"

Me: "People who don't like wasting time by filling prescriptions for people when we know they're not going to pay for them."

WP: "I don't think it's right that you refused to fill my medication."

Me: "Are you willing to pay for it? If so, we will fill it right now."

WP: "No, I'm not going to pay for it!"

Me: "You refuse to pay for it so we saw no point in filling it. I fail to see what the problem is."

WP: "The problem is you shouldn't be the one to make that call."

Me: "So let me get this straight, you're upset that we didn't fill the medication so you can tell us at the point of sale that you don't want it?"

WP: "Something like that."

Me: "So you're mad that we beat you to the punch?"

WP: "Just give me my medicine so I can get out of here."

Me: "Gladly. Here you go. Have a nice day."

I'm fucking done for.

-Aye, FB was kind enough to remind of this gem from a million years ago....

-Today is National Pharmacy Technician Day. This conversation shows how much my boss cares about me.

Shorty Mack: "Everyone keeps asking about when that new law about birth control being free goes into effect."

Me: "It goes into effect whenever your insurance policy is renewed."

V: "Yeah, we already get it free on our insurance."

Me: "Really? Let me test that out."

So I run a fake claim for Nuvaring and sure as shit, it's covered with no copay.

Me: "WELL, FUCK ME!! There's no copay!"

J the Pharmacy Manager: "Yeah, technically, that's what you do when you're on birth control. However, you got no one to do that with."

Me: "J, why you gotta rain on my parade and remind me that I'm not getting none?!"

WTF?!! ROFLMAO!!

Okey dokey, Dr!!

-So I'm taking care of a long ass line of people. As I'm taking care of one of my patients, I see some asshole on the horizon trying to get my attention. I don't play that shit. I take care of each person one on one. It's rude to stop taking care of someone because some asshole felt the need to interrupt me. Because we deal with medication, sometimes my patient interactions can take a while and when it comes to peoples health and their lives, I don't rush that shit.

Apparently, Asshole didn't like that I put her ass on ignore because she comes up to the counter and says...

Asshole: "Yoohoo!!"

And I still ignored her. Now, she's waving and my patient just shot her a death stare.

Asshole: "I know you seen me waving."

Me: "And I know you see me taking care of this person."

Asshole: "I just have a question!"

Me: "Get in line and as soon as it's your turn, I'll help you."

Asshole: "I just need to use the rest room!"

Me: "It's located in the corner all the way down there."

Asshole: "I need someone to let me in!"

Patient: "Lady, are you serious?!! Why are you interrupting when you see she was helping me? How rude can you be?!"

Me: "Just ignore her. I don't have time for that nonsense."

I finish with my patient and before I ended up braining Asshole with my Thor Regulation Hammer...

Me: "If you need to use the rest room, you need to go to the front and ask to be let in."

Asshole: "There's nobody up there!"

Me: "There's never NOT nobody up front. There's ALWAYS someone up front. I'll page someone over there."

So I page for customer assistance at the rest room. I go on to taking care of my other patients when I notice Asshole coming down the aisle and is waving at me. Jesus titty fucking Christ.

Asshole: "No one came down there!"

Me: "Did you go by the rest room door? Sometimes, it can take them a moment to get there if they're assisting other people."

Asshole: "No, I was waiting over here."

Me: "You have to go by the rest rooms because if they don't see anyone standing by the door, they're not going to go over there to let you in."

Asshole: "I really have to go!"

Me: "And you really need to go ask someone from the front to let you in."

And I'm trying to take care of my other patient when she makes the grave mistake of asking....

Asshole: "CAN'T YOU LET ME IN?!!"

Me: "NO, I CAN'T!!!"

Asshole: "WHY??!"

Me: "Because I'm a Pharmacy Tech NOT a bathroom attendant!!! I get paid to take care of all these people standing in line here at the PHARMACY!!"

Asshole: "I HAVE TO GO TO THE REST ROOM!!!!"

Patient in line: "Then why don't you go HOME!! With all the time you've wasted here, you could've went home to use the rest room if you have to go that bad!! She told you to go up front and I've watched you walk back and forth, instead of waiting by the rest room like she told you, and you've been standing over here when the rest room is NOT even located here! You're wasting everyone's time and it's rude of you to keep yelling at her while she's taking care of other people!!"

And I was waiting for a fucking brawl to happen because at this point, everybody and they mama standing in line was ready to kick her ass. Amazingly, I think Asshole realized that she pissed off a whole lot of people and got the fuck out of Dodge. And based on what the front end folks told me, when they got the page for the rest room, they'd head over to it and notice no one standing there so they went no further. That's because this Asshole kept dillydallying between there and the pharmacy. This is what happens when you're too fucking stupid to follow directions. I swear, I need a long vacation from that joint.