#did you not also experience 1000000000 psychic beam attacks

[enemy-to-the-state]

I remember going to see Dr. Strange in theaters 3 separate times the year it came out (2016 I think?). I should also let you know that I hate Marvel movies, have hated Marvel movies for a long time and had no intention to see the movie that many times in theaters, and that, all of those times were incidental and far too close together for a person to retain their sanity.

The first time I went to see it, I was visiting my sister at college and we decided to go see a movie, chose Dr. Strange because it looked like decent fun and we didn’t really know much about the other movies. We enjoyed it just fine. Nothing groundbreaking.

The second time was a bit of a different scenario. For context, we were visiting my uncle, and sometimes when we visit my uncle, he, my father, my father’s cousin, and my uncle’s next door neighbor (who has now since passed away r.i.p.) would get together for a thing they called Gentlemen’s Club. When I was younger I thought Gentlemen’s Club was very exclusive until I realized it was just four 50-somethings watching silly movies and drinking Jack Daniels for a few hours in my uncle’s den. During this time, me, my sister, and our cousin weren’t necessarily kicked out of the house, but it was heavily implied that we should find something better to do with our lives for a few hours, out of the house.

That leads us to the movie theater because where the fuck else are 3 teens gonna go in bum fuck nowhere rural Tennessee on a tuesday night. We chose Dr. Strange. again. because everything else looked like shit and we at least knew it was decent, plus our cousin was interested in seeing it. Needless to say, it was much less good the second time around. Not terrible, but we were getting a little sick of the good doctor.

Our third time going to see it, I cannot explain with anything other than a temporary bout of insanity.

My only excuse is that we were bored. It had to have been the last weekend they were showing it because we were alone in that theater. I’m telling you, completely and utterly alone, just me, my sister, and the criminally overpriced bucket of popcorn between us.

I think time started leaking out of my eye sockets. I felt like Eddy Burback when he went to see Morbius 5 times in a row except that video wouldn’t be made for another 6 years. I felt like Dr. Strange himself coming back again and again to that time cunt to bargain. I can’t even look at Bumperdink CatchWaffles face without thinking of that fucking movie

so no I don’t wanna watch that multiverse wandavision movie with you, cameron