#did you know that there is not a clean screenshot of the stardew valley one.

[patchdotexe]

BEHOLD: i remade a sprite comic i made a few years ago! now featuring: special effects, redone Rocket sprites, the ability to walk into the background and never return, T1 has pants now

in which KG decides to demo their brand-new self to... less fanfare than they hoped for.

[badcowboy69]

Taking out the trash...

Ok, I get it.  The Fallout fandom is seriously dying and I’m apparently one of the few rats that haven’t abandoned ship.  However, with the start of the new year, chances are I will be doing that in the way of cutting things down on whom and what I follow.

Firstly, no, I am NOT leaving this site.  I have one super important reason to be here and honestly they’re the ONLY reason I have to be here.  I’m sure people may or may not have noticed my submissions have dwindled by means of screenshots and the like.  Why?  All the so called mutuals and watchers, that’s why.  Frankly, most of them stink.  I get no likes and I get next to no reblogs of my works.  I get no comments about my writings. Worst of all NO ONE ever sends me asks even though I can beg and cry asking for them.  I mean come on, would it hurt to send one thing saying you’re thinking of me when I post i’m having a difficult time?

I have no clue what Travis ever did to make people hate him when he’s so fun, kind, generous, and his back story is so well defined and detailed.  Is it because he’s gay? Is it because he’s hooked up with another OC (even though that OC is a sole survivor for crying out loud.)  Is it because he’s not hooked up with an npc?  Is it because I can’t draw?  Whatever the reason, it’s pathetic and I’m done getting my feelings hurt over it. Yes, you read that right.  Each one of my so called watchers (and worse yet mutuals) never give any love my way.  Sure, there’s maybe a few here and there, but those are people that have been in my life for three or more years.  Everyone else....why...WHY do you follow me if you aren’t going to like anything I do or try and be part of my circle?  Why can’t I get support from you in anything?  I don’t know what me or Travis has to do to win affection, but neither of us are attention whores so meh....

That all being said, I’ll be cleaning out sites that I watch during the week.  Like I’ve always said, if I can’t get support why should I give it back?  I’m tired of seeing so many others reblogging and fawning over other couriers, but kick mine to the curb endlessly.  Like I said, what did he ever do to you to earn your hate?  

For those that ARE the good fans and friends, you have nothing to fear and I thank you for your love, support, and encouragement in the time I’ve been on here.  Everyone else, y’all make no sense.  Shame on you for making me feel abandoned and shame on you for making Travis feel like crap.  I thought this would have been a great place to talk to people about their OC and have them talk to me about mine, but it’s one-sided.  Now I’m at the point to where why should I keep giving when everyone keeps taking?  To all of them...thanks for nothing.  Maybe this year will be different.  Maybe this year things will change, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

As a side note, this only pertains to Fallout watchers.  Everyone else is fine I know I post fun things like Overwatch, Stardew Valley, Sims 4, and animal pictures.  Those non Fallout sites, please disregard this note and know i love you all and am glad you’re watching me.

[dreamer-indisguise]

Day 1: Let’s go.

January 11, 2020

Now that you know a little bit about me, let’s go into my current thoughts and feelings about this day. I’m going to try and recount my day as closely as I can, starting with how I’m currently feeling. 

Tonight hasn’t been great for me, mentally. It’s currently 3am on Monday, January 11, 2021. I have to be up in 4 hours to go to work. I’ve basically resigned myself to staying up all night to try and reset my sleep schedule. My brain is going crazy with thoughts of my family and the recent terrorist attacks on the Capitol. Yes, they are somewhat related... but we’ll leave that there for now.

Starting in on the morning of Sunday, January 10th...

I stayed up too late playing video games. Shocker. So I didn’t wake up until close to noon. I felt like a zombie when I woke up. I had gotten like 10 hours of sleep, so it’s not that I was tired... I just didn’t feel “good”. My sister had her boyfriend over last night. He’s not my favorite person, so I stayed in my office for most of the day before, just to avoid him. 

I laid in before for a little bit after I woke up. Watched some TikToks and caught up on notifications. I wish I could be one of those people who doesn’t look at their phone first thing in the morning. Although I’m sure I’d miss something important if I ever tried. Just last week, my coworker called out because his wife had been taken to the ER and luckily I woke up early enough to see the e-mail and make it to work before 8am. (I was supposed to be working from home last week.) But I digress.

While scrolling, I saw a post on Facebook that was the most “American” picture ever. A family friend had a baby shower yesterday and one of the gifts that she received was a “My First Rifle”. Like... what in the white conservative hell? Obviously, I had to send a screenshot to my friend who lives in England.

After a little while, I got up and made some coffee. Making coffee at home is something relatively new to me. Back in one of my previous apartments, I used to make coffee occasionally... but more often than not, I would forget about it and leave wet grounds in the coffee maker for weeks. It got all moldy and then that’s all I could picture whenever I thought about making coffee. I cleaned it thoroughly, but still couldn’t get my mind around the thought that I was still ingesting mold spores. This is a regular occurrence and something that I really don’t like about myself.

I’ve been playing a lot of Stardew Valley recently. It’s just such a chill game that I can waste hours and hours on. A few days ago, I had sent a text to Peter and said: “I think the reason that I like Stardew so much is because it’s a productivity simulator.” For anyone who doesn’t know, Stardew Valley is basically Farmville meets Animal Crossing meets Harvest Moon. You run a farm with crops, animals, and fish. There are overall objectives, but essentially you do whatever you want. Every day in-game starts with watering your crops, selling grown crops, feeding/milking your animals. Then you do whatever you want to do that day. It’s raining, so why not go down in the mines and look for some diamonds? Bring the town’s residents some gifts and try to max out their friendship level. Then once it’s night, you go to bed to do it all over again. It’s the repetitive-ness that draws me in. I don’t feel that I have a handle on my real life... but Stardew allows me to simulate what a healthy routine would feel like.

I probably played Stardew for about 10 hours yesterday. Writing that was a little scary. I know it isn’t healthy... but it’s my escape.

At some point, my sister and her boyfriend left and went to his apartment. While saying goodbye, Amanda let me know that she’d be back some time on Wednesday so, you know... yay being alone. Before I moved in with her back in October, I was living with my grandparents. It was initially just supposed to be for a few months after a job change messed with my financials and I couldn’t afford to pay rent. But my financial situation didn’t get any better, so I ended up living there for 2 years. It was only thanks to the 2020 quarantine that I was able to start saving money to find my own space. The plan at the beginning of the year was to find a place with Peter, but that didn’t end up working out. My sister had just graduated high school and was ready to leave the toxic environment that is my father’s house, so we decided that we should live together.

Early in the afternoon, Peter asked if I’d bring him home from his friend’s house later that night. Peter doesn’t have his license, and I don’t mind taxiing him around if it means I get to spend time with him.

Now is probably as good a time as any to let you know that I enjoy recreational marijuana. Mostly edibles, because I can’t smoke in the apartment.

After I got that text from Peter, I figured that I had just enough time to eat some edible gummies and they should be worn off by the time I had to pick him up. I was, unfortunately, mistaken. Around 8pm, after playing a few hours of stoned Stardew, I left to go get him and realized that I was still pretty high. Driving ever so carefully, I managed to bring him home safely.

Guess what I did when I got back home! Did you say “play more Stardew”? Wow, how’d you know?!

A few hours of Stardew later and it was getting late... but I wasn’t tired. So I did what I do every night: crawl in bed with my cat and scroll through TikTok or watch some YouTube videos. I went to watch a BrandiTV video because her videos are hilarious. She takes way too much edibles and then does crazy makeup tutorials. Highly recommend. (See what I did there?) Before her video was an ad for “Jour”, which is a guided journaling app. They ask you questions about your feelings and then you write responses based on the prompts. It was pretty cool, but for $60/year... no thank you. 

When answering their questions, all I could think was: “I don’t want to write short responses. I want to be able to chronicle my days.” I consider myself to be an okay writer, but I hadn’t ever really sat down and written anything (other than for school). So I cancelled the free trial and opened up my second Tumblr. 

That brings us to now. It’s 3:48am and I should be sleeping. My UK friend just messaged me as he’s getting ready for work and was surprised that I’m awake. Guess I should go try and get a few hours of sleep.

Thank you for your time.