#did you know i have a pathological fear of children in general now. trick or treaters were giving me panic episodes

[janederscore]

i think the thing that probably frustrates me the most about transmisogyny is that its completely impossible to talk about in a way that expresses how much its woven into the fabric of your whole life. and to point it out is something that is constantly dismissed as pure paranoia or attention-seeking behavior, right. surely we're just overthinking things, reading into malice that's not there, etc.

and its like . i am watched, everywhere i go. people notice me the second i step outside my apartment and they keep an eye on me. when i go to get in the car my neighbors watch me. if there are kids playing outside all conversation Stops Dead until they're sure the threat is leaving. i drive exclusively the speed limit and keep an extremely vigilant eye out for cops bc if i have to interact with one i don't know if the exchange will turn violent. pretty much any exchange feels like it can turn violent, is the thing. i don't go anywhere anymore because people will silently flash weapons to Prove that they could turn it violent, if they wanted. i don't even check the mail.

and you can talk about all of that. and people will still look down at you like you're a three year old infant and coo "aww. welcome to being a woman, sweetheart."

[thelittlehansy]

What is interesting is that Hans family is built like a real life narcissist family

All information/explication there are source from link about the subject

narc parent : king

Enabler: queen she the abuse of the king happened and dont protect her sons.

golden child = Caleb  The Golden Child, seen as an extension of the Narcissistic Parent, can do no wrong, and even the most minor of achievements are cause for celebration, admiration, and rewards. The narcissist lavishes her chosen one with attention, praise, and approval, even if s/he has done nothing in particular to “earn” it. The narcissist often projects what she wants to believe about herself onto her idealized offspring. If it suits the narcissist, she may shift her tactics and select a different one of her children for the golden child role.

In a frozen heart caleb create a diplomatic problem with riverland the king dont say anything. Hans and lars asked themselve how could the king have let caleb do such a thing.

flying monkey= runo rudi = Flying Monkeys: These are a type of enabler, often one or more children in the narcissist family. Like the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, they mindlessly assist in the narcissist’s dirty work. The most manipulable members of the family make the best flying monkeys.

The Scapegoat Hans =  Child is to blame for all of the family woes. While the Golden Child can do no wrong, the Scapegoat Child can do no right. All achievements are dismissed.

Neutral child = Lars  = The neutral sibling walks a delicate balance between the narcissistic parent and the siblings, Thomas said, because they are attempting to be a peacemaker

Needed child : the rest of of the princes who all wants paternal affection and approval even if it means abuse hans.

interesting observation the golden child and the scapegoat are both suppose to be reflection of the parent. self love for the golden child , self hate for the scapegoat. so both Caleb and Hans are suppose to be mirror to their father interesting knowing Hans is suppose to be inspire from the mirror in the original snow queen.

now let get a look to all the tool used narcissist to manipulate their children.

Narcissistic Attachment: is the belief that the child of a narcissist exists only for the benefit of the parent, such as a particular status.

approval , approval , approval this is what all the princes of the southern isles wants from their father. the only want maybe who dont what that is Lars.

Parentification: is the expectation that a child must care for his/her parent, siblings, and household as a surrogate parent. This causes the child to lose out on any type of normal childhood.  

Hans is expected to return because he is need in the nursery. he is not in his childhood but there others person that can do that. i think if he did that when Hans is 23 he did thing like that previously.

Infantilization: using brainwashing tactics to ensure a child stays young and dependent upon the Narcissistic Parent.

caleb makes politic decision like he play wars when he was little , it makes laugh lars and hans that their father have allow him to do that. Caleb is view as immature by lars and Hans.

Triangulation: a tactic used by narcissistic parents to change the balance of power in a family system. For example, rather than allowing two siblings to work together, the Narcissistic Parent insists that he or she be the go-between. This controls the way the information flows, the way it is interpreted, and adds nuances to the conversation. It’s also a way to feed Narcissistic Supply.

to be honest i dont have understand exactly what this is but for example caleb/hans relationship caleb bully Hans because like that he has the affection of his father. Caleb took all the attention of their father Hans is jealous of him. again the princes dont work together it all about respecting their father motto that they are lion not mices hans say it in the book at home everything is about rivality.

Narcissistic Supply: is a term used to designate the manner in which narcissists require, feed on attention. The best sorts of attention are approval, adoration, and admiration, but other sources of attention – like fear – are acceptable to a Narcissist. Children of narcissists are used as an ongoing source of this attention.

“the best sorts of attention are approval” check ! this is what all the prince do in the first chapters of the book during their mom birthday.

Hoovering: Since narcissists are by nature pathologically self-centered and often cruel, they ultimately make those around them miserable and eventually drive many people away. If a source of “supply” pulls away or tries to go “no contact,” the narcissist typically attempts to hoover (as in vacuum-suck) them back within his realm of control

after say to hans he is allow to go in arendelle the king say : Hans has to return home immediatly after the gates are closed , he will be need in the nursery.

“ in one instant Hans has been too stunned to do anything , in one moment he has been told he could go after what he wanted and in the next he had been cut down it was so typical of his father” a frozen heart chapter 6

i m gonna added also something we dont saw but i believe this is possible for the king judging how tyrannical he is this is one of the most creepy thing narcissist parents can do to their children

Gaslighting: a way in which Narcissistic Parents (and other abusers) use lies – intentional or not – to make their child question his or her own reality. A child may end up feeling as though he or she is crazy. An example would be, insisting that the sky is actually green, until the child believes it. 

Projecting The narcissist has a big bag of tricks. One of her go-to abuses is projection, in which she beams her words, actions, traits, and motives onto others. If she lied, you are the liar; if she is childish, you are immature; if she insulted you, you are critical; if she demanded reassurance, you are insecure; if she ate food off your plate, you are a selfish piggy. Through projection, the narcissist blames the victim and denies all accountability. A narcissist may project her ideal beliefs about herself onto others, such as her golden child or someone she admires.

so at a moment the king say to hans to stop feel better than his brothers when this is him who believe he is superior so projecting ? caleb has all his attentions and project his ideal belief into him.

Narcissistic Rage: Narcissists despise any challenge or insult, and when that happens, a Narcissist can fly into a rage – spewing insults and becoming physical and aggressive with their children. Generally occurs when one or more of the following things happen to the narcissist: for example   The narcissist doesn’t get his or her way, even when it’s unreasonable.

Hans say that his father is gonna be mad ( doesn’t get his way) that he leave his mother birthday because he is getting bully by his brothers.( even when its unreasonable)

i view a video who explain that a child in a narcissist family to survive can adopt two different behavior  saw that on a video genetic can also be a factor.

1-  to survive the child can transform into a narcissist or just be  toxic because he she would have learn conditional love , that in order to survive he need to pick on others , dominating. 2- to survive he can develop in an empath. he is gonna observed his environment in order to anticipate everything. he is gonna learn to adapt to the others , to his environment in order for the other to be happy. they learn to make the others happy.

Hans is more in the second category he knows perfectly how to adapt to others and please them he wants to makes happy his father but most importantly he is accused to be too soft too weak and at 23 years old still dont want to act like the rest of his family his responsed was not to pick on others. He refused to do it at 20 yeard old. What makes Hans different is that he defitnly doesn’t react the same that his brothers about his father behavior he dispise violence. ( well before trying to fit with with their value) he accused and blame to be to sensitive and in need to be thoughten up.

what i read on a website

“Being an empath is not about having the ability to feel sympathy. Sympathy is when we feel a sense of care and concern for other people. “

empath :  a person with the paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual.

what to know what is empath worst error according to a video on the subject ? believe the morality of others is better try to change himself and have affection of selfish persons.  Exactly what Hans  did in Arendelle in order to “prove them wrong”

Is hans being an empath could explain some things ?

Of course all of these are my analysis it’s possible mostly in tool section ( infantilization) that I have look way to deep into it😅

[circumswoop]

Game & performance.

The opening shot of The Killing Of A Sacred Deer is of a heart splayed, a chest jacked open with ribs akimbo. It is apparently a real heart: photographed in extremis, under surgical duress. With its discernible hemispheres, the heart almost looks more like a brain gobbed in unspeakable fat. If a brain cld be said to beat, it would look like this: the grossest opening shot maybe in movies, or at least that I have ever seen. What comes from confusing the brain and the heart, however lightly? Utter gore, and Colin Farrell being ritually undressed afterward, headlamp and funny surgical glasses on top of other funny surgical glasses and layers of scrubs and gloves reversing off him. If all your life you have been sick with fantasy abt hospitals and their demented sense of enlightenment––the Byzantine corridors the corners of which echo with coughs, in light that can only be described as taurine-colored––you will not so much watch as wander this movie, the latest from a Greek filmmaker whose remade myths are both catchier and kitschier than the originals.

Steeped as easily in opera, The Killing Of A Sacred Deer explores impossibly big moods with a neck-craning soundtrack of Schubert and Ravel. But for a film addicted to classicism, the visual joke of Nicole Kidman being married to another doctor would not be possible if you've never had an affair with Eyes Wide Shut. Alice Harford, having rid herself of the locked-down and oblivious Dr. Bill, landed in the arms of a cardiac surgeon with several shakers full of salt and pepper in his beard. When nicole stares into the mirror of a medicine chest you think she will withdraw a band-aid container that contains weed instead of band-aids. This pot is making her aggressive. No it’s not the pot. It’s you.

Giorgios Lanthimos is notorious for having his actors speak in gray mono, not the stereo of Actorville. This mannerism is Mametian, and takes me back to watching State & Main or Spartan when I was a moviegoing pup, trying to spot how Sarah Jessica Parker or Val Kilmer arrived at such impeccable deadpan. Young audiences schooled on YouTube minimalism may recognize it better now than I did then, albeit as something else. Lanthimos has his own version of Mamet’s command to “just say the lines”, so there are no scenes in TKOASD that cld rightly be called “acted” except for one in which Farrell expertly trashes a kitchen. And yet the threadbare flatness of the performances is still stylized, even glamorized, into fantastic states of catatonia or even anhedonia. The inability to feel pleasure, carried by Farrell, contrasts with the inability to feel anything at all, carried by Kidman: her reliance on psychosomatic diagnoses for her children falling legless to the floor is just her belief that they’ll never stand on their own.

Included in the soundtrack is “Enantiodromia”, a piece by the (also Greek) composer Jani Christou that alternates between narrow and wide frequencies. Carl Jung used the term enantiodromia for “the emergence of the unconscious opposite in the course of time”. He updated this from Heraclitus, flipping it into “the most marvelous of all psychological laws”–that which accounts for the subconscious occasionally overruling control freaks. (Jung would describe it as extreme one-sidedness, but he meant control freaks.) The first and really only thing Colin Farrell discusses at length in TKOASD is wristwatches, their waterproof depth and if metal or leather bands are better. For insisting on an ordered life, his unconscious opposite punishes him with a disordered effect, scrambling the health of his family into nightmare fuel. It’s treated as a placed-upon curse by the script, but the odd boy who introduces this malevolence to Farrell’s life probably doesn’t know his Jung from his Young Thug. He simply sells Farrell on the concept of a favor owed, then lures him into a funhouse of unconscious glitch. 

Farrell fears two things: drowning without knowing what time it is (apparently), and killing a patient. He even denies the second one is possible, insisting that surgeons don’t kill patients anesthesiologists do. The boy character, played by the fascinating Irish actor Barry Keoghan, is the son of a patient who died on Farrell’s table which still doesn’t remind Farrell of revenge––only recompense. So when the boy begins to art-direct Farrell’s life, promising catastrophe in three-act structure (paralysis, bleeding from the eyes, death), Farrell’s too committed as a father figure to get out with honor. One thing the Greeks knew: honor as tool for sorting things is always DOA.

As a surgeon, Farrell simply regards the unconscious as a performance space. This extends to erotics, as he and Nicole act out a bizarre and really hot operating room scenario as sexual prelude. General anesthetic? Nicole asks, semi-naked, before going limp. First of all, I’m thrilled by how much this rape fantasy probably horrified woke Twitter. But later, when Nicole ups the ante and gets naked on her own, Farrell isn’t interested. There’s a plague on his family so he’s got a lot going on, but it’s more like he cannot block a sex scene if there’s too much motility. 

French neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot got famous for expanding the limits of hysteria, and for his pyromanic teaching style that probably tricked Freud, his most famous student, into thinking he was a performer. Charcot’s work moved the chains on nervous abnormalities, using techniques like hypnosis to source seats of trauma. He also liked to get high and paint. His portraits and caricatures were known to liven up meetings. Although his findings on hysteria eroded, he is still reputed as the father of neurology. Several neuropathological disorders carry his name, including Charcot arthropathy––a progressive denaturing of weight-bearing joints. This disconnect between bone and soft tissue usually affects the foot or ankle, and can result in pathologic fractures and paralyses––both of which Charcot interrogated as neurotraumatic. So, the condition that leaves Colin Farrell’s teen daughter and adolescent son suddenly unable to use their legs can be explained as a rare or unprecedented form of Charcot arthropathy, which none of the experts at Farrell’s hospital think of since it’s ordinarily progressive. The effects of a curse are not always immediate, but can be. 

Images of the kids slithering down steps and across floors are so disturbing they cause Farrell to confess that he once jerked off his own dad. His dad was asleep and there was no coercion, but this is still a trauma so unbelievable it must be true. Farrell is so desperate to prove his son is faking paralysis that he relates it as heartfelt. Or his brain and heart have finally traded places. Either way it’s a morale-destroying instance of metapraxis, normality blurred by the deep need to perform. The battle of the pragmatic against the unconscious is rendered hilariously anecdotal, as Lanthimos tips his farcical hand. 

Altogether austere, absolutely clinical scenes in basements and one involving the most nightmarish spaghetti usage since Gummo echo further perversity and nonsense. Jung, writing abt the psychoid archetype, found “no hope that the validity of any statement about unconscious states or processes will ever be verified scientifically”. But filmically? Performatively? The Killing Of A Sacred Deer is either tragedy reëxperienced as camp, or a feature-length realization that the desires for recompense and revenge are never evenly matched. Although in a race of opposites, they’re never far apart.