#did you know chopped has been running since 2009?

[oh-mother-of-darkness]

Dick reached as high as his eleven year old legs could take him, towards a set of pots in the cabinet. It wasn’t enough, but Bruce stepped over to help him, setting the pots down on the kitchen island.

“Okay,” Bruce said. “Review the rules for me again?”

“Alfred gives us three ingredients,” Dick explained, “and we have to make something that has all three in it.”

“How much time do I get?”

“Thirty minutes.”

“And I have to present it, right?”

“Yeah. Alfred’s the judge.”

“And then?”

“He puts the dish that loses under a cover, and we wait for a dramatic reveal.”

“Oh, drama. Good.”

Dick gave Bruce a look. “I’m gonna be the announcer.”

“I thought you were doing it with me?”

“I’ll be a contestant too.”

“Is that going to work?”

“Oh yeah,” said Dick, smiling brightly. “It’ll be great. Ready to start?”

“I guess.”

Dick ran to the other side of the kitchen, flipped off the light switch, did a quick twirl, and flipped it back on. He slid into the middle of the kitchen on his sock feet. 

“Good evening!” he said, in his best commentator voice. “And welcome back to Chopped at the Wayne Tower penthouse. I’m your host, Dick Grayson, and today I’ll be competing against Mr. Bruce Wayne!”

Dick struck a confident pose, motioning for Bruce to do the same. Bruce half-laughed and stepped forward into what Dick recognized as his Batman-overlooking-the-city stance. 

The image cracked Dick’s persona, and he laughed so hard he had to bend over and breathe for a few seconds. He got back to business. 

“Let me introduce you to our judge, the honorable Alfred Pennyworth! Let’s give him a round of applause, folks!”

Alfred gave a solemn nod from his place at the dining room table. Dick ducked to the other side of the island, clapping his hands loudly to simulate a fake audience. Bruce joined in.

“Contestants, grab your baskets!” Dick pulled his own cloth covered basket, the one Alfred prepared for him, from the island counter. It had some heft to it. He wondered what was inside. 

“Let’s take a look! Mr. Wayne?”

Bruce flipped open the matching basket on his counter and lifted out a glass jar. “Cherries,” he said, holding them up. 

“And?”

“Chocolate chips.”

“And last?”

“Uh.” Bruce examined another jar, this one plastic, and set it back down. “Cinnamon peanut butter.”

“Hm,” said Dick. “Interesting. A dessert round.”

“Oh yes,” Alfred confirmed. 

“Do you have the stop-watch?”

“I do, Master Richard.”

“Okay then— on your mark, get set… go!”

Dick ran towards the pantry, but Bruce stepped in front of him, blocking the way. 

“Hey!” Dick complained. 

“Sabotage,” said Bruce, grinning, before he let Dick pass. 

Dick pulled the bag of pancake mix from a shelf and scooted sideways, holding it behind his back so Bruce couldn’t see. Unnecessary, he realized, since he was going to announce his choice anyway. 

“Dick Grayson takes an early lead in speed! He has selected a bag of breakfast mix! Mr. Grayson, what do you plan to make?”

“Waffles!” said Dick, answering his own question. He slid over to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk and a container of heavy whipping cream. “I’ll be making chocolate chip waffles using the cherry juice for color and flavor, with the fruits themselves on top.”

“What about the peanut butter?” asked Bruce. 

“Flavor for whipped cream.”

“Oh. That’s clever.”

“No copy-cats. That’s cheating.”

“Right.” 

“What about you, Mr. Wayne? Ideas?” Dick pushed himself off the island and held a spatula up at Bruce’s face like a microphone.

Bruce held up a packet of something. 

“Ah!” Dick nodded in approval. “Can you tell us— why Jell-O?”

“It has instructions on the box.”

“You make good points.”

“I’m using the Speed-Set method. It’s highly technical.”

“I’m sure it is.” 

“But I’m still not positive it’s going to set in time.”

“I guess we’ll see?” said Dick. “It’s a good idea anyway.”

“Thank you.”

“Alfred will taste this jello, and you will taste defeat.”

“Okay.”

Dick ran back to his island with a mixing bowl stolen from Bruce’s side of the kitchen. 

“Hey!” Bruce complained. 

“Sabotage,” said Dick, grinning. 

Dick stirred his milk into the waffle mix, then dumped in a generous pour of cherry juice. The mixture turned a delightful shade of bright pink. Dick left it for a few moments to slide back to Bruce’s side of the room. He overshot slightly and collided softly with the counter. 

“Whoops. Mr. Wayne, how does it go at station number two?”

“Well,” said Bruce. “I’m using the cherries in this jello, but I don’t really know what to do with the other two ingredients.”

“Thought process?”

“None.”

“Oh, sure.”

“I bet chocolate and peanut butter go together,” Bruce mused. 

“Yeah.”

“But in what?”

“I dunno.” Dick stepped back into the kitchen center. “Time?” he yelled.

“Eighteen minutes left,” said Alfred. 

Bruce hurriedly shoved a few glasses of red jello into the freezer. Dick returned to his station to pour his chocolate chips into his mixture. 

He pulled the waffle iron from the cabinet under the counter, sprayed it with the bottle of no-stick, plugged it in, and waited for it to heat up. While he did, he wandered over to Alfred’s table with his spatula. He held it out to Alfred. 

“Judge Pennyworth, your impressions?”

“I believe this will be interesting if nothing else.”

“Are you hungry?”

“I have not decided at this point.”

Dick nodded. “Time?”

“Fourteen minutes.”

“Oh, I better get back.”

Waffle iron ready, Dick gave his pink mixture a final stir and poured it in. He did spill some over the side of the bowl, and the counter, and the iron, but that was okay by him. The waffle iron steamed cheerily. 

Dick rummaged through the drawers for a whisk. He added vanilla and powdered sugar to his cream, then scooped in a few spoonfuls of peanut butter, then began to whisk as quickly as possible.

While he did, he went to investigate the other side of the kitchen. 

“Mr. Wayne! Have you formed a plan?”

“I think I’m going to make hot chocolate. With peanut butter.”

“And jello?”

“Served with jello.”

“That doesn’t really… go together.”

“I’m aware. It’ll have to do.”

“Okay, I guess. I gotta flip my waffle.”

Bruce nodded. Dick spun around a few times, just because, and flipped his waffle. He returned to his whisk. 

“Time?” Bruce called.

“Eight minutes.”

“Thanks.” When Dick looked over, Bruce had the milk. Bruce poured it into a mug, studied it for a few moments, and stuck it in the microwave. He hesitated again before punching in a number.

One minute. Dick shrugged. He didn’t know how long to put it in either. Alfred always made the hot chocolate at home, and before that, Dick’s dad. Bruce’s guess was as good as his. 

The microwave hummed as Dick’s whipped cream began to peak. He hummed along with the microwave in satisfaction. 

“Six minutes,” said Alfred. 

Dick’s waffle came out just fine, if not as pretty as he wanted. The chocolate chips that landed on the outside of the waffle marred the color a little bit, but the rest was suitably bright, and Dick liked it.

He set the waffle on a plate, stuck a few cherries on top, and slid to Bruce’s side again. Wait until the last moment to put on the whipped cream, he figured. That way it wouldn’t wilt. 

“Mr. Wayne appears to be stirring in chocolate chips and peanut butter,” Dick narrated. “Any comments, Mr. Wayne?”

“I hope my jello set.”

“I do too. Are you going to pull it out now?”

“I suppose.” Bruce stepped over to the freezer and removed his glasses. The red at the bottom of the glasses jiggled a little bit over the cherries settled at the bottom.

“Hm,” said Bruce. 

“I think it set.”

“Maybe.”

“One minute,” said Alfred. 

Dick heaped on a dollop of peanut butter whipped cream and set his plate on the table in front of Alfred. Bruce followed with a glass of jello and a gently steaming mug of hot chocolate. 

“Time,” said Alfred.

“Folks, it’s time for Judge Pennyworth to make his comments. Judge Pennyworth?”

“I comment,” said Alfred, “that this is surprisingly competent on Mr. Wayne’s part.”

Bruce took a bow. 

“We’ll start with Mr. Grayson’s dish. It’s a lovely color.”

“Thank you,” Dick said, smiling. 

“And for taste…” Alfred scooped off a section of whipped cream and nodded thoughtfully. “This is very nice. Let us taste the waffle.”

Dick beckoned Alfred onward. 

“This also is very nice,” Alfred decided. “Well done, Master Richard. We will now move to Mr. Wayne’s dish. Hm. Jello does not go with hot chocolate.”

“I know,” Bruce groaned. 

“But the fine glass goblets are a nice touch.”

“Thank you.”

“Your jello does appear to be set.”

“Thank God.”

“And this hot chocolate is ah,” Alfred took a sip, “a little flavorless, actually. I might suggest more chocolate next time.”

“Hm,” said Bruce. “I will take that into account every other time I do this.”

“Your sarcasm is unappreciated. If you could both leave the room?”

“Okay!” Dick grabbed Bruce’s arm and pulled him out through the living room and into the hallway that led to the bedrooms. 

“Was it fun?” Dick asked. 

“Sure.”

“You don’t sound excited.”

“As long as you’re having fun, I’m having fun.”

“I am ready,” said Alfred’s voice.

They hurried back into the dining room, where Alfred sat at his table with a large, covered platter in front of him. 

“Yes!” Dick exclaimed. He hopped in front of the table with his spatula. 

“Before we show a winner, let’s talk about our experience. Mr. Wayne! You put on a great show today. Why did you join this contest?”

“Oh thank you, I was forced to be here.”

“Forced by your love of cooking?”

“Absolutely.”

“Are you proud of your dish?”

“I am, actually. That’s the best I’ve done in years.”

“I can confirm,” said Alfred. 

“You’re in fine form today,” said Bruce. 

“Okay!” said Dick. “Whose dish… is on the chopping block? Judge Pennyworth?”

Alfred lifted his cover to reveal a goblet of jello and a mug of hot chocolate.

“It was a hard decision, but alas, one I had to make.”

Dick grinned. 

“Bruce Wayne! Gotham nobility, the guillotine has come.”

“Dark,” said Bruce. 

“You have been chopped.”

“Okay.” 

“I receive honor and glory as my prize.”

“You receive clean-up duty,” said Alfred. “Both of you.”

[twh-news]

[Spoilers ahead, whole article below cut]

One of the many delights of the God of Mischief having his own standalone series is that we not only get to admire Tom Hiddleston’s acting chops, but also get to see him dance gleefully and maniacally right before the entire ancient city of Pompeii is washed away by lava. In Episode 1 of Disney Plus and Marvel Studios’ “Loki,” viewers got to familiarize themselves with The Time Variance Authority (TVA) and its futuristic office hub, and see this new Marvel Cinematic Universe territory through Loki’s eyes.

During Episode 2, much of that worldbuilding was put on hold for tense time travel adventures while wielding Loki’s “Mindhunter” abilities to catch a more evil version of himself. The episode also focused on the blossoming bromance between Mobius M. Mobius (Owen Wilson) and the trickster the agent is sure he can sort-of reform. It dove deep into Nexus Events (emphasizing the importance of knowing these terms as Marvel fans, given that the concept is referenced both in “Loki” and in “WandaVision”) and showed off more of what the TVA actually does to protect the Sacred Timeline from “chaotic alterations of a predetermined outcome.” Additionally, why Mobius loves jet skis so much was revealed (a wholesome moment).

There was a lot learned in this episode, but so many more questions “branched” out of Episode 2. Here are the biggest ones:

How did the TVA agents not figure out Loki’s “apocalypse time branch” theory beforehand?

I’m calling Marvel’s own bluff: The TVA agents absolutely did know about Loki’s loophole since they know everything and anything about the Sacred Timeline and its deviations. Thus, they should also have had at least an inkling of what trouble they could (potentially) get away with without screwing up the order of things — like taunting villagers mere seconds before the tragic volcanic obliteration of Pompeii.

Loki explained this “new theory” in the second episode as: “So, let’s just say your salad is Asgard. … I could go down to Asgard before Ragnarok causes its complete destruction, and I could do anything I wanted. I could, let’s say, push the Hulk off the Rainbow Bridge. There he goes! And I could also set fire to the palace. I can do whatever I want to do, and it would never matter. It wouldn’t go against the dictates of the timeline. … It could be any apocalypse. It could be a tidal wave, it could be a meteor, or it could be a volcano or a supernova. If everything and everyone around you is destined for imminent destruction than nothing that I say or do will matter because the timeline is not going to branch because it gets destroyed.”

How Mobius and co. didn’t catch onto this beats me. Are they so obsessed with being bureaucratic do-gooders that they’ve created their own blind spots? It may be why Loki is so valuable in spite of the risks he poses to the TVA — he’s able to figure out that The Variant is hiding in apocalypses, carrying out malice undetected.

What is the significance of Roxxcart?

It appears extremely likely that the creepy, flickery-lit supermarket wherein Loki got in a — to put it bluntly — dick-measuring contest with Loki 2.0 and the visages of possessed victims, is owned by Roxxon Energy Corporation. (Get it? Roxxcart, Roxxon.) The massive fictional gas conglomerate has regularly made appearances, by name or in-scene, both in Marvel Comics and in Marvel series and films, including ABC’s “Agent Carter” and “Agents of SHIELD,” the “Iron Man” trilogy, Freeform’s “Cloak & Dagger,” Netflix’s “Daredevil” and Hulu’s “The Runaways.” Every time the petroleum industrial giant has made its way, on-screen or on-page, Roxxon has consistently been nefarious and at odds with superheroes. If The Variant is giving away candy (Kablooie chewing gum) during nexus events that are sold at Roxxcart between 2047 and 2051, then the incorporation of Roxxon’s evil ties was a conscientious one — and one that should have some greater significance in the series.

“It’s real”— what’s real?!

While Loki was sizing up his time-traveling, shape-shifting opponent somewhere between the pet supplies aisle and hurricane-discounted azaleas, TVA agent Hunter C-20 (Sasha Lane), was found by Mobius and co. She didn’t seem to be injured physically, but mentally, she was shaken up, constantly repeating, “It’s real, it’s real” while rocking back and forth. What caused this agent to spiral? And is the “it” she was referring to a person, a place or a thing? Episode 2 didn’t provide us with much clarity, but there may be more ominous forces afoot than “The Variant.”

Why is Lady Loki hellbent on destroying the Sacred Timeline?

“Loki, I am your… lady?” In a juicy reveal that echoed Darth Vader’s reveal in “Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back,” The Variant’s shroud was removed and we got our first glimpse at Lady Loki (Sophia Di Martino), the Mistress of Mischief with golden horns and all. What’s her beef with the Time-Keepers or the TVA? Other than the fact that she’s on the run from the omnipotent organization, L.L.’s motives have yet to be unveiled. She wordlessly hopped through a time portal with Loki following before the nitty-gritty of her tricky time-manipulating scheme could be revealed. What we do know is that, in the comics, Lady Loki is just the female version of Loki (and she’s also canonically gender fluid and pansexual). During her appearance in Marvel’s “Dark Reign” comics from 2008 to 2009, L.L. is in cahoots with the villainous likes of Norman Osborn (aka The Green Goblin), Emma Frost, Namor and Doctor Doom. Holding out hope that any of these high-profile baddies will make their way onto “Loki” might be futile, but Lady Loki’s official introduction into the televised Marvelverse may carve a path for “X-Men” and “Fantastic Four” characters to pop up in the future.

Did Loki really betray Mobius to go off and commit time shenanigans with Lady Loki, or is this all a ruse? What is his game plan?

*Extreme Owen Wilson voice* Wooow, what a cliffhanger! After trying to bond with Mobius throughout most of the episode, Loki pulled a Loki and trailed off with his new friend/foe, effectively betraying Mobius and the rest of the TVA agents that put their faith in him. But then again, what were they expecting with the Prince of Lies? It appeared that (at least for now) there was a rift in that budding partnership. It should be noted, however, that Loki dropped a massive hint toward the beginning of the episode that there’s way more than meets the eye — he’s been “10 steps ahead” of the TVA, and he’s been playing a game of his own, all along.

Crossing our fingers that it ends up with Loki riding off into the sunset with Mobius on a jet ski.

[thebookofus-depravity]

Skinny Bone Jones

Skinny Bone Jones

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2 coming soon!

9k words

This is my baby Park Jaehyung and an AU in which y’all are dealing with the coronavirus together in LA. Jae grew up with Y/N and you were childhood friends. You stayed close but haven’t seen each other in ages. Now you’re both back.

 Teeth rotting fluff, possible smut in future chapters (lets see if I have the balls to post it), Y/N has a strong proclivity for a certain guitarists hands. And honestly, who can blame her? TW: Confrontation with a nasty old ex, Coronavirus,  Quarantine, overbearing parents.

...

This fucking sucks.

Closing your laptop, and shoving it off of your lap to the side of your bed, you are struck by exactly how warm the underside of your Netflix Machine was in contrast to the chilly room. Well, 3 hours of To Catch a Predator in, and sure, your old 2011 Dell dinosaur is going to be a little mad at you. I've got to do something today. Anything. 

Week 3 of your quarantine is coming to a close and on this breezy LA Thurs-Fri-Turday (who the hell knows anymore) you can feel the last tendrils of your sanity escaping with the setting sun. It just doesn't stop setting. And rising. And setting. And rising. Tortuously slow some days and before you can even get out of bed the next. Not that you get out of bed much.

Alright. That's it. I'm gonna do something. I have to. It's time to make some art, bake some cookies, go for a run, tell someone around me how much I value them, topple the patriarchy. I am going to get up and do something with my life and damned if I get in my own way again. I am unstoppable. I am formidable. I am inevitable. 

Rising from your rumpled bed clothes with the steadfastness of a slightly anemic Viking (whoa I’m woozy, I shouldn't have stood up so fast. Shit, when's the last time I ate?) you cross to the large bay window that faces the street. You throw your curtains open, ready to face the day, only to be faced with… stars starting to twinkle at you out of the inky blackness. Dammit. I'm gonna have to defeat systemic oppression tomorrow. 

Squinting from behind your glasses, you see that the stars are not stars at all but helicopters blinking down at you. You haven't seen real stars since your trip to Big Sur last summer. Although you moved to LA when you were 7, you have vague recollections of the Korea that you loved as a young child. Your parents had picked up and moved to the States after years of struggling through VISA's and citizenship red tape. Your mom and dad had originally meant to get married and have you in the US. The land of opportunity. 

You now chafed slightly under that blanket of opportunity as you are far too aware of the responsibility you have been given to make the absolute most of it. From the ripe old age of 8 you had been conditioned to follow your dreams to their fullest. As long as those dreams were to become a doctor, lawyer, or marry a CEO. Your parents cared about you greatly and you knew that. They only want security for you, happiness comes from security. Now 25, you can't quite remember the last time their overbearing nature had been quite this...potent. You were in your final year of medical school at USC and there was nowhere to run.  It was time for you to begin your foray into the 'real world' of residency. The same post-undergrad 'real world' that you had watched all of your non-premed friends crash land into. They had all distanced themselves from you, both figuratively and literally; intentionally and inadvertently. Divorced, Beheaded, Died: Divorced, Beheaded, Survived. You had watched you friends get married, have kids, sabotage marriages, buy houses, do well, do poorly. And here you were in some kind of bubble both safe and isolated from all of the uncertainty beyond the classroom. 

Jokes on you, Jessica, now we're all screwed, you find yourself thinking for the upteenth time over the past month. You had been watching the Coronavirus since December and knew exactly what was to come. You did all that you were capable of as a not-quite certified medical professional and tried to convince people of the reality of the threat, convince them not to panic, and to exercise a reasonable level of preparedness. Well, that didn't work. You found yourself sunk into a deep well of frustration and futility at the action and inaction that was being exhibited throughout the States. For the first weeks of quarantine you found yourself glued to your phone, helplessly watching the tragedy unfold and the stupidity that was ensuing. By week 2 your empathy had burnt out and you knew you couldn't watch that world anymore. K-drama's it is. After completely obliterating Crash Landing on You, Itaewon Class, and rewatching Descendants of the Sun for the eighth time just because it's so. damn. cute!, your parents started to get a little concerned. 

Your stomach growled and you realize you, in fact, haven't eaten since early this morning. As you consider what the consequences of emerging from your cave of a bedroom might have, you resign yourself. Five minutes later you are hovering in the kitchen with a bowl of leftover whateverthefuck in hand, you turn to see both of your parents at the bar stools staring at you with a look of concern that you haven't seen in years. Shit, I keep forgetting, they think I'm functional.  Your parents had shipped you off to Health Careers College Prep school, a boarding school in Sacramento, when you were 16. Upon graduation there with your high school diploma, nurses aid, and dental hygienist's certificates, you immediately started at USC premed. You hadn't lived at home since your Jonas Brother's phase. As much as your parents loved you, they didn't really know you. This had been overwhelmingly obvious when the USC campus closed and you returned home to open arms and your bedroom frozen in the clutches of 2009. Your parents had welcomed you home with tearful hugs and a new gift for your room. I know how much you love that Kevin- boy. And your room is so old. Come. Come. Already wary and wondering who the hell is Kevin? you allowed yourself to be led to your old room and set your bags down with a deadened thump. You tried so hard not to laugh, You really did.  They're trying so hard. But like, Where did they even find this monstrosity? You had been staring up at the largest poster of Kevin Jonas that you had ever seen every night for 3 weeks and it was starting to get to you. 

Regardless of the decor (purple fuzzy lamp shade included), there were so many parts of living at home that were so foreign to you.  Although everything was completely the same, you were worlds different and it was disorienting. Your bed seemed smaller, the walls shorter, the colors dimmer. Everything that made that house your home was still there, only you had changed. It was like you were in a coma and had just woken up, the rest of the world unchanged but with 10 more years under your belt. Your therapist would tell you that you were reverting into a childlike state because of trauma and surroundings. Hush, Mollie, I don't need that right now. I need food. 

Food was honestly what was keeping you sane and civil. Your parents own a pho shop just down the street that was still taking carry out and delivery orders for pho, crawfish, whatever they had lying around. You had been helping out in the kitchen and with deliveries since you had been home. As freeing as the drives have been, you really come alive in the kitchen. You had been watching your mom make pho and dumplings for years and although she sent kimchi to your apartment every month or so, you missed your moms cooking. And her kitchen. You immediately took to cooking just like you had when you moved off of USC campus and into an apartment with some friends. You had 12 burners! That all worked! A convection oven! Two of them! Kitchen Aid's! You had no problem opening up shop at 8am every morning to prep the dough and get the stock boiling and all of the other things that her mother and father had been doing for the past 20 years. 

Returning to your room after rinsing out your bowl and chopsticks, and exchanging goodnight's with your parents you sit on your bed and tell yourself to go to bed. You have to be up at 7am for the kitchen. You need to chop scallions for the pork and chive dumplings so it has time to coagulate. Come on, Go to bed. No phone. It was a pitiful attempt, really. You had been pulling med-school grade all-nighters since your junior year of high school and nothing was stopping you now. Turning on your side for easy access to your charger, you plug your phone and coast through Instagram, Youtube, Twitter, Tinder for an indeterminate amount of time before your eyes start to get heavy. Instagram was just filled with all of your peers from USC recklessly meeting up with friends for picnics and drives and all of the other things they thought they were free to do because they were young and healthy and beautiful. Fuck off. Youtube provided a lovely escape from the actual outside. Mikey Chen showed you around TaiPei's street food scene, Binging with Babish gave you a new hand pulled noodle recipe to try, Bon Appetit made you glad you weren't Claire Saffitz. Tinder was a joke but an adequately funny one. Instead of your bog standard USC fuckboi's you were able to talk to fuckboi's from Korea, Dubai, Indonesia, Guatemala, Brazil. How fun. You had downloaded it 6 months prior after yet another guy in your department was just 'too busy, i'm sorry' to make the date that you had planned. You generally tried to avoid Twitter as it was just an echo chamber of panic and 24 hour news cycles and didn't do much for your anxiety. See, Mollie? I'm being smart. 

You flick open the little bird app and scroll for just a minute. A particular notification picques your attention. Jae tweeted. Well, Day6 tweeted, but we all know who runs their twitter. Your throat tightens with nerves as the post loads. You worry about him more than you'd like to admit but with tours cancelled and travel suspended, you know how hard it can be for people whose livelihoods revolve around entertainment and travel. The post loads and you let out a sigh of relief to see Jae surrounded by his band mates and smiling. Brian starts speaking Korean and delivers his message about their newly acquired tiktok. Brian gestures for Jae to speak and Jae delivers the same message in English. Ah, he went back to blonde. It looks good on him. Wait is he- oh god, he's wearing a crossbody fanny pack. Jae, you're old. Stop. Shifting to get more comfortable, you let the video loop a few times before closing the app. Jae's okay. You roll over onto your side and set your phone to the side. Jae's voice echoes through your ears for the next few minutes but you resolve yourself against it. I'm not getting fucking tiktok. I'm a grown ass woman. That app is for 12 year olds. And Jae. Resolved, you burrow into your Jonas brothers duvet cover for the night. 

Sweating and on the verge of tears, you wake with a start. The dream was already slipping from your consciousness with a blessed haste but the uneasy feeling that the nightmare gave you seemed to coat the inside of your skull and taint it's entire contents. A thin light filters through your still open window and your eyes creak open. Morning? Sure, why not? Rolling over, you flick open your phone and are greeted by an all too unfamiliar, 5:17am. It's too damn early. Even for you. You still have an hour or so to kill before you have to get up but you didn't fancy the idea of trying to go back to sleep after that dream. Propping yourself up on a few of the approximately 67 pillows that litter your twin sized bed, you open your phone. 3 new emails from USC congratulating you on your graduation and asking for some documentation of something or another or evaluation of some class you hadn't thought of in weeks. Skip. 2 emails from residencies that you had applied to before the coronavirus urging you to reapply in the fall. Great. You couldn't even bring yourself to feign concern over the missed opportunity. 1 email from Twitter informing you that Jae had tweeted. Again. You follow the link to another video of his side project EaJ. You had been following his new releases and you were surprised by the tenderness and vulnerability that they showed. He was always such a funny guy, it was the only side that he really showed much to the media. Sure, fans got glimpses at concerts, but not many knew just how deep the well ran in that man. 

Today's Tuesday, apparently. The next episode of How Did I Get Here? comes out today. I'll have something to listen to while I food prep. You never admitted to yourself how pleased you were when he started the podcast. You missed hearing his voice on a regular basis. Hollered up into your window, whispered between giggles in the back-most church pew, hurled across crowded hallways. Of course, the voice was different than it is now. Pocked by pubescence and the LA accent, you remember a far squeakier Jae. He was the first person you met when you moved into the neighborhood at 7 years old. He was 9 so of course, he took it upon himself to show you exactly where you could and couldn't go and what taco trucks would give out fare for free to little kids on weekends.  You remember those years fondly as finally having the big brother you never had. Skinny Bone Jones, you called him. He stood up for you when the kids in middle school called you smelly for bringing kimchi in your lunch. He called you smelly just for being you. He was well liked in school and by extension so were you. You had the cool big brother. You were more than happy to play second fiddle and be his backup. Tagging along to parties, helping him record his yellow post-it note covers on Youtube, letting him know when his hair looked stupid.

 And so it stayed until Jae actually made it on KPop Star. As much as you loved him, you didn't think he would ACTUALLY make it. Sure, he could sing. He had a beautiful voice but that wasn't enough. The boy danced like a drunk chicken and was 6ft tall and 120lbs soaking wet. He didn't even know Korean. What was he thinking? He was thinking he was going to prove you wrong. And he did. You watched as Skinny Bone Jones transformed into Park Jaehyung with a perfect balance of immense pride and terror. You knew you wouldn't lose your friend entirely but during his trainee days he had very limited access to the outside world, and you just weren't a priority. Honestly,  you would've been offended if you had been. He has a mom, dad, an older sister, bandmates, college. It only makes sense that the steady stream of communication turned into a trickle. It wasn't until Every Day6 that you were more of an insistent presence in his life. You burrowed your way back into his inbox with the tenacity of the annoying little sister that you were. You were worried. You watched him on After School Club and in the deluge of content that Day6 was serving their slowly growing fanbase. He looked tired. You once again rekindled your relationship but it was different now. Instead of you leaning on him for social support, you became his confidant. He was struggling. Burnt out, and questioning so many things, he didn't want to go to his bandmates because he didn't want them to worry. His parents would pull him immediately if they knew exactly how rough his condition was, his 'friends' from college had proved fake. He now had Alpha Phi Omega blocked because they wouldn't stop asking for favors: Day6 tickets, Twice merch, Got7 tickets. He felt alone but you reached out and he was able to lean on you. The trials passed and he was happier than ever and Day6's growing popularity meant good things for his lobster funds. 

You stayed in contact over the years and shared with each other the going on's of your lives. You had even managed to go to the Gravity World Tour date in LA. Jae got you backstage and you were able to meet the rest of his bandmates that you had heard so much about. It was an act of God that you managed to keep your composure. I mean sure, he's just Jae but you're still backstage at a concert for the first time! Your cheeks still redden when you remember how Jae caught you ogling at YoungK. Heart in your throat, and voice barely above a whisper YoungK had walked directly over to you and asked what you were doing backstage. After a solid 15 seconds of pointing listlessly at your Press badge and making just the strangest of noises that were meant to approximate speech, Jae finally caught wind and rushed over, knocking your sense back into you and introducing you to the members. 

Oh! Y/N! It's so nice to finally meet you! Jae talks about you all the time, I'm so glad you were able to make it! Your cheeks inexplicably reddened further to a violent shade of pink but the boys slowly defanged themselves in your mind. They're truly lovely people and you're glad Jae has them. That being said, you still can't quiiiite look Brian in the eyes and Jae thinks it's hilarious. 

The Gravity tour feels like ages ago as you shrug on some jeans and a tee shirt for your walk to the shop. August 2019 at the Novo may have only been 8 months ago but it seems like a different reality. The Novo will be closed for the forseeable future and concerts are cancelled. That stings but not as much as the radio silence from Jae. First it was his tour schedule that rendered communication difficult and now the virus. You know he's busy and it's been a weird few months for the entertainment industry, but a 'Hey I'm alive.' would be nice. From his podcasts and twitter you've been able to keep some thread attached but you feel it stretching thin as the months stretch on. You really don't want to be annoying. You're sick of feeling like a fan. Yeah, you support Jae and Day6 and would call yourself a MyDay, but that's not all you are. You know him. You dragged him through the mud when he convinced you to try sledding down a muddy hill on a trash can lid. You set up his camcorder for his covers when he still had that stupid swoopy hair. You posed as his angry girlfriend when a crazy fan wouldn't leave him alone.  You're starting to feel like just a fan and not a friend and it's only exacerbated by the glee that you feel when you get the notification from dive studios that How Did I Get Here? has updated. I miss my friend. 

Not bothering to flip the sign on the front door from closed to open, you shoulder open the front door of the shop after fumbling with the keys. Tying an apron securely around your waist, and flicking on your noise cancelling headphones to a comforting thrum, you wash your hands and begin to chop the largest pile of scallions you've ever seen. Crunching through the pile, you start Jae's podcast and everything is gone but him. You can almost imagine him in the room with you, perched on the counter talking your ear off about the Mandela effect or how weird elbows are or something equally as ridiculous. Today he's talking about soul mates. As you listen to him joke and banter and pontificate, your eyes well up. It's just the scallions. You know damn well it's only partially the scallions. You miss Jae. And you're in the middle of a pandemic. And your family barely knows you. And you're not sure if you even want to be a pediatric oncologist. Fuck. Jae's words turn into white noise in your ears as you toss your headphones to the side and place the knife on the butchers block, perhaps more aggressively than necessary. You pause the podcast and let yourself sit in the feeling. You're lonely and sad. See Mollie? I'm letting myself feel things. Making room for every emotion. You cast your mind around and recall all of the little wounds that prick a little too deep today. You feel a squeeze in your abdomen and your eyes shoot open wide. Shit, my period. I've got to be PMSing. Even Jae recognized the trend in your emotions before you did. The week before your period, you were notoriously mushy and weepy and indulgent. Well, that's one mystery solved. I'll be okay. Mollie's voice echoed through your brain with her familiar argument that hormones only heighten the emotional distress, not fabricate it. These feelings are valid and aren't fake just because you're hormonal. You steadfastly ignore that point, wipe your eyes, and pull your headphones back on. You finish up the pile of scallions and a few other morning chores before the podcast ends. It's Jae's sign off that sends the bowl of mandu filling that you were holding clattering to the floor. "I'm coming to you from my childhood home, so if the audio is a little finnicky… blame Byron." Jae's home.

…

After sweeping up a pound of pork, beef, mirin, soy sauce, and chives and disposing of it, you stare at your phone- hands shaking slightly. Jae. What the fuck. You rip off your apron and your mind races. Should I call him? Should I go see him? I can’t believe he’s right here. 2 houses down. Fuck. Your rational brain knows that it’s okay to feel excited about Jae being home. But the sneaky little bitch that lives in the back of your brain is telling you that if he wanted to hear from you, he would’ve called. You feel a little bit of yourself fragment at that, but you push it to the side. You open up your phone and slide over to his contact in your phone. What greets you is your last text conversation.

Jae: I’m so glad you had fun, Y/N! But if you ever look at Brian like that again, I might have to put a ban on you at our concerts. His head was way too big.

Y/N: Look at him like what?! I didn’t do anything and you know it! 

Jae: Of course you’re didn‘t. You totally weren’t drooling over my bassist. 

Y/N: Fuck off.

Jae: Gladly, love. ;)

8 months ago. Sure you’d DM’d quite a bit since then and called a few times. But it just seemed so sparse. You don’t want him to just humor you. You’re an adult and perfectly capable of being alone. You’re not going to text him just yet. 

You finish up your morning chores and head back to your house, pausing for perhaps just a little too long in front of the sandstone house with the tan shutters and shoes out front. You knew that house so well. You knew how much weight the tree outside the upstairs bedroom window could hold. You knew where the kimchi refrigerator was tucked away in a back corner of the garage. You knew there was a blonde boy in there that you wanted nothing more than to run inside and get a hug from. 

You shower and let the hot water run over you, hoping it will relax the knotted up muscles in your back. It’s not like I can go see him anyway. We’re in quarantine. He probably just got back to LA and just hasn’t gotten the chance to-. You run the same conversation over and over in your head until you can’t take it anymore. You need someone else’s voice in your head. Curling into your covers, you sigh and go to the App Store. A few short minutes later and you hate yourself more than you ever have. Tiktok. Here we go. You watch the video of Day6 introducing themselves to the social networking platform once, twice, three times until your eyes start to ache. All of a sudden you’re met with a new post that pings up. Your breath catches in your throat as you see Jae standing in his living room, attempting to keep up with Amber Liu’s dance challenge. You can’t help but giggle as he flails to the left, to the right, oversized black hoodie always falling into his face. BM would be proud. Express not impress. You find yourself shocked at the weight that he’s gained. He looks healthy and happy. You remember the conversations in middle school about how much he hated being skinny. The evenings in the weight room in high school. Failed doctors appointments. He looked good before but you see that in recent months his chest has been swelling and not just with pride. His shoulders sit a little bit broader than you ever remember in the past and you’re happy for him. Good for you, Jae. 

You like the tiktok and let it loop a few more times before sighing heavily and opening your messaging app.

Y/N: I got TikTok for you, ya little shit. 

You chuckle but leave the text unsent. You’ll think of something better later. You toss your phone to the side in the face of the mountain of laundry on your bed that needs to be taken care of. As you hang the last of your shirts, your phone pings. You pick it up to a notification from Jae.

Skinny Bone Jones: Language! 

Skinny Bone Jones: Do you think Amber approves? 

You feel a flare of indignation wash through your limbs at the mention. Apparently it had sent. Oh well. As the thrill of a reply ebbs out of you, it is replaced by a rising indignation. How dare you?! Not tell me you’re in town and pretend like you didn’t?! Really?! 

Y/N: I don’t really care what Amber thinks.

Maybe that was a little snippy. You love Amber, truly. But how can he have time for TikTok but not me?

Skinny Bone Jones: Yeah? Do you still care what I think? 

Your heart catches in your throat. So he’s caught on that you’re pissed. 

Skinny Bone Jones: Y/N, can I call you? 

You swipe up to the phone icon and call him on auto pilot. Talk to me, Jae.

“Y/N?” you hear Jae’s voice.

“Jae.” Your voice comes out whispier than you meant it to. You try again.

“Jae! How are you?”

“Oh, y’know, just got off a plane that smelled like bleach and got to my house that isn’t really my house anymore, left my guitar to be sanitized, was “strongly encouraged” to make a TikTok by my company, and then got my head bit off by my best friend. Just quarantine things.” There is a touch of acid in his voice but Jae mostly sounds tired. Your empathy comes surging back and you sigh.

“I’m sorry Jae. I just- I didn’t know you were in town until I listened to your podcast this morning. I was a little hurt that you didn’t call or anything.” 

“Look, kid. I just got home. I’m a diva. You know I require at least an 18 hour period of naps and boba to function properly. I’m a KPop Star now.” You laugh at the callback to your irate spiel a few years ago about how fame had changed him and he was a diva and  just ‘wasn’t the Jae you knew’ anymore. It wasn’t his fault he was allergic to everything and turned down all of your food suggestions.

“Jae, you’ve been a diva since day one.” You quip back, tension resolving as you fall back into a familiar playful banter. 

“And don’t you forget it, Y/N.” There's a slight pause before Jae continues, 

“This diva is really sorry he didn’t call you. It’s just been a lot the last few days. The tour just got cancelled. And our album comes out in a few days. Our team has been going crazy trying to figure out how we’re supposed to publicize in this climate and I just-“ 

“Jae. Chill. When I preordered mine last week, it was the most popular album on the site. It’s gonna sell. Don’t worry too much.” There’s a beat of silence in which you can hear the air whoosh out of Jae’s lungs.

“You-You preordered Demon?” Jae sounds shocked but endeared at your admission and you laugh. 

“Of course? I’m really pumped to hear that sexy, soothing voice of Wonpil’s. Maybe I’ll even get a Dowoon photo card this time! I keep getting Jae ones in my other albums and I give them to my little cousin.” This isn’t entirely true. You have 3 of Young K, 2 of Dowoon, and 1 each of Wonpil and Sungjin. You’ve been waiting for a Jae photocard for ages. You would die before you told him that, though.

“You little shit. If you don’t want to see my face, why are you following Day6 on TikTok?” Jae ribs back.

“Brian. Duh. He’s fine as hell.”

“Yah! Haven’t you found a boring ass Orthopedic surgeon or some shit, yet? Why do you have to terrorize me like this?” 

“Why? Haven’t you found a Twice member that’ll marry you yet, Skinny Bone Jones?”

“I’ll have you know, I gained 10 pounds the past 8 weeks! I’ll be big as BM soon!” You can picture the expression of childlike pride in his face even if you can’t see it. 

“You look really good, Jae. I’m proud of you. You’ve been working really hard.” The sudden sincerity catches the both of you off guard and you clear your throat.

“Thanks, Y/N. That means a lot.” A comfortable silence is followed by a lengthy conversation recounting the previous weeks, the various states of the other members, your own eviction from college, and the status of the shop. 

“You know, Y/N, if you or your family need anything I’m more than happy to help. I mean I know how hard it can-“ You cut him off before he can go any further.

“We’re okay Jae, honest. I know you’d be good for it but we don’t need anything right now. Business is good at the pho shop and we’re okay.” 

“Okay, okay. Just know I’m here.”

“I mean NOW I do, no thanks to youuu,” you wheedle, whining about his failure to let you know he was in town. 

“Come on, Y/N, I said I was sorry!” He laughs but you can hear the desperation of sincerity in his voice.

“I know, Jae. I’m just kidding. I just really missed you.” 

“I missed you too Y/N.”

You get off the phone upon the realization that you needed to go to the shop and prep for the dinner deliveries. Sometimes you abhorred that you were “essential”. You run downstairs and tell your parents the good news about Jae and inform them you’ll be back soon. 

“I know you’re excited, Y/N, but remember we can’t be going and visiting people like that. Only essential work.” You roll your eyes slightly but assure them that you know. As if you hadn’t been telling them the same thing for weeks. I had to convince you not to go play mahjong in the park, eomma. You might be excited, but you’re not stupid. 

You had just started filling the mandu when you hear the bell over the door chime. Pardon me, are you stupid? We've been closed for weeks, why do you think it would be okay to just walk in? You wipe your hands on your apron and start to walk to the counter.

"Hello? I'm sorry, we're only open for call-in deliveries." You round the corner and lift your head from your hands to see the form of the gangliest, tallest, loveliest man you've ever seen in your life.

"Special delivery." Jae remarks smoothly, arms open wide in invitation and head cocked to the side as if he was bracing himself for the crash landing that was to come.

"Jae!" you yell, and launch yourself from behind the counter and into his arms. His arms fold around you and everything else melts away. Your face burrows against his chest and you inhale. He smells like home and cinnamon. You can feel tears welling up in your eyes with the tide of emotions that wash over you. Jae's hand cups the back of your head into him and he hugs you just as tightly as you hug him. You press yourself into him with everything you have and in the deafening silence and warmth all that you can think is I love you.

"Y/N" He whispers, not loosening his grip on you.

"Mmph." you respond weakly.

"My shirt's wet." You jump back from him a bit and see that he's correct. Your eyes are leaking. All over his white shirt. Oops.

"Oh! I'm-I'm sorry." You laugh a bit and swipe at your eyes before patting at his shirt in futility.

"It's okay, love. Come here." He welcomes you back into his arms and you wrap your arms over his neck this time. 

"I missed you." You whisper, voice cracking a bit. 

"I know you did." You jump back from him. Bitch.

"Hush. I missed you too, you idiot. Why else would I be standing here right now?"

You cast your eyes around in a panic. He's here. He's right here. In the store. Here. He shouldn't be here. He should be in quarantine with his family. You're unessential to him. 

Sensing the realization in your eyes,  he pushes past you, walking to the back and puts on the latex gloves hidden behind the counter. 

"I figured it was about time to get a 'real job' like everyone keeps telling me to." He smiles smugly and picks up the knife to start chopping the bok choy. You stand there in shock for one second, two seconds, three seconds until you realize he’s about to cut his fingers off. 

“Jae! Stop!”

“Look, Y/N, I don’t care what you say, I’m going to do this. I want to help. And I’ll be damned if I’m not allowed to see you in the time I’m finally here-“ 

“No, Jae. Stop. I know I can’t argue with you. I’d be thrilled if you’d work with me. But Brian is gonna kill me if I let you cut your damn hands off.” 

“I… what?” 

“You’re a guitarist Jae. We can’t have you cutting off your pretty little fingers. And if you keep chopping it like that, that’s exactly what you’re going to do.” 

Jae looks down at his hands and stretches his fingers wide as if considering them for the first time. 

“Pretty?” 

You roll your eyes, but unbidden, your eyes are still trained on his hands. They really are pretty. 

“Just. Let me show you.” You show him how to tuck his knuckles up against the blade and chop in smooth rocking motions so as not to take off his fingertips. 

You work in relative silence for the next hour, packaging meals and portioning combos as your mom and dad peek in and out to pick up the orders. You can feel a warmth flowing through you as you take in your surroundings. The loneliness of the past weeks leeches out of you and dissipates into the warm atmosphere, homey smells, and murmur of conversation. It’s almost as if your limbs wake up bit by bit, like a tree waking up after a long frigid winter. You feel yourself stretch and shine and the bubbles of contentment flow through you. By the time the last combo is out the door, you find it really difficult to take the smile of your face. 

Jae seemed to be in the same boat. On more than one occasion you caught him staring at you. Every time you caught him he just shook his head and laughed in that infuriating way of his. But you really couldn’t be irritated at him. It was impossible. He was your happy fairy, even if you wanted to kick him in the shins every two minutes for saying something dumb. Mom and dad said goodnight to Jae in the same way they have been since he was 10. “Tell Mrs.Park I say hello and don’t be a stranger.” Right after they leave and you’re washing the last dish, while Jae sits on the counter telling you about production for Day6’s new album, the phone rings. Before you can tell Jae not to answer it, he’s already taking the man's order. Fine. One more can't hurt. You weren’t anxious to end this day and return to bed alone, so you welcome the post-closing distraction. Cobbling together a plate from the leftovers you were about to bring home, you grab your keys and beckon Jae to follow you. 

“No need to bug mom and dad, we can take this one.” 

As you walk outside toward where your little yellow bug is parked, you feel Jae move behind you. You can feel his body close to yours and you stiffen instinctually. You’re not used to skinship anymore and you can feel the blood in your veins carbonate as Jae’s breath ghosts across the back of your neck. You stop dead in your tracks, eyes wide, flush creeping up your neck as you feel his hands- those damn hands- ghost along the side of your left arm. You squeak when his fingers brush against the back of your hand, lacing his fingers with yours. Your world spins. Fuck is he holding my hand? Do I want this to happen? He’s so close to me. Can he hear my heartbeat? 

“Jae-“ you begin to say, with absolutely no idea as to where the statement would go after. 

Luckily you don’t have to think of any sort of decisive move because Jae immediately snatches the keys from your now limp left hand with a cackle, running ahead to the car. 

“I’m driving!” You little fucking- oooh! 

You’re thankful for the cool evening breeze and dim street lights or you were sure to get a ribbing for the blazing red cheeks that you were sporting. You climb into the passenger's seat with the food on your lap and do your best to sink into invisibility. It doesn’t work. You’re convinced that he can hear your brain jackhammering away at the night's events. 

Did I want that to happen? Did that happen? He was so close to me. He felt so warm and the way he touched me. Running your hands over your arm, you could feel his touch like it had raced a burning path down your whole left side. Do I… like Jae? 

You glance over at him now and again as he puts the car in drive and begins the route to the destination. Jae, of course, is jabbering away about how everything has changed since he’s been gone and, “Omigod, is that ANOTHER pinkberry?” You find yourself nodding along passively while actively trying to figure out what the hell was going on in your brain. Much like his podcast, his voice became white noise by which you asked yourself questions you weren’t sure you wanted the answers to. Of course I love him. But do I like, like him? Never in your life have you felt more like a horny, confused teenager but as you glance over and watch Jae with one hand on the steering wheel, wind blowing through his hair, you know one thing for sure- Jae isn’t a kid anymore. And he isn’t your brother. 

It isn’t until you pull into a neighborhood about 10 minutes later that you remember that you’re here on a delivery. Yanking yourself from your reverie, but with unease still firmly lodged in your thoughts, you address the task at hand. 

“Jae, where are we?” 

“Uhhhh, 3051 Driver Rd.” 

Driver Road. You know this neighborhood but you can’t quite place where. If your previous safari into your possible romantic interest in Jae wasn’t jarring enough, you feel panic rising through your system like so much bile. Why do I know this neighborhood? Jae, unaware of any turmoil on your part, pulls up to the house in question and when your headlights wash over the yard your heart sinks into your throat. You’re going to be sick. 3051 Driver Rd. This is where Sean lives. 

You had met Sean Avery in your sophomore year of premed and had fallen head over heels in love with him. He was tall, attractive, ambitious, and he wanted you. You were star struck. It wasn’t until a year of ‘dating’ later that you unearthed the whole messy truth of his long string of side pieces and general douchebaggery. If that wasn’t enough, in the past year you heard the report of him almost catching a case with a high school senior in the area. You knew now that he was nothing but a predator and a coward. You had managed to avoid him since your explosive breakup but now it seemed you had very little choice.

“Sean fucking Avery” you seethe in the seat next to Jae. 

“What did he do to you?” Jae asked, taken aback by your sudden vitriol. 

“Shit, that wasn’t in my head was it?” Jae laughs a bit but sobers up quickly at your expression.

“Y/N you look really pale, are you okay? I don’t know your history with this guy but hey, you don’t have to deliver this. I’ll do it. Don’t you worry, love.” Jae places his hand on the top of your head and ruffles your hair a bit in an attempt to be comforting. The attempt helped. Your heart pricks up a bit at Jae’s term of endearment but it feels more deadened than it should. You’re sick of feeling like this. Of letting Sean steal your joy from you. It’s been too long for that shit. Pulling yourself together a bit, you shake yourself out of your head and steel yourself. 

“No, Jae, I’ve got this.” Jae looks at you with slight concern but shrugs nonetheless.

“Alright, well, I’m going with you okay? This dude really must’ve done a number on you if this is your response. And I’d like to see the bastard.” Jae’s eyes glinted with something dangerous that you’ve never seen in him before and it causes the same fire in you to spark. Let’s do this. 

With Jae by your side, you march up to the door with the delivery order and set it on the front steps. The doorbell is deafening in the still night and you have to remind yourself to breathe. You jump as the door swings wide and a pathetic looking man sporting a robe and a beer belly peeks from the inside. All of the breath that had been waiting in your lungs released and you feel your head go a little bit light with the realization that this was the man that you were in love with. 7 years later, gone was the debonair gentleman who could sweep you off your feet. In his stead stood a balding, fat, stiff man in boxers and a moth eaten robe. He grunts in acknowledgment of  the presence of other humans but it’s obvious that the Neanderthal hasn’t recognized you. He retrieves his food and goes fumbling in his robe pocket for his wallet. He fishes out a card and hands it to you. You take it from him and process the payment. 

Declined.

“Sorry, Sean, your card- it declined.” 

He huffs and makes a sound in the back of his throat that you can only describe as gross as you hand it back to him.

“It what!? What do you mean declined?” He stumbles forward a few steps and you automatically flinch backward into Jae. Jae’s hand comes up to your shoulder to ground you, a reminder that he’s still there. Sean’s movement wafts a smell of body odor and brown liquor. He always was a mean drunk. You decide to cut your losses while you can and keep the transaction as minimal as possible. No games.

“Your card, Sean, it declined. Do you have an alternate form of payment?” Sean whips open his wallet and roots around for a minute before retrieving a few crumpled up bills. He extends the cash but before you can swap his card for cash, his arm whips back. Looking at you sideways, suspicion drips from his slurred speech,

“How do you know my name?” 

Shit. Fuck. Dammit. 

You watch helplessly as the cogs turn in his inebriated brain and recognition washes over his face.

“Y/N! It’s you! What do you want from me now, bitch? Trying to take my money now too? Get out of here!” His voice steadily rises in volume and you can feel the walls of your panic closing in on you. Suddenly Jae steps in front of you, arm outstretched to the belligerent man. 

“You’re talking to me now. You’re done with her.” Jae holds himself with a confidence that you had only seen from him onstage. 

“Just pay for the food and we’ll be going.”

“And who the fuck are you?” Sean spits back, as if Jae were something distasteful that he had found on the bottom of his shoe.

“I’m Jae. Y/N’s boyfriend. Now I’d really love to take Y/N home tonight before it gets too much later. So if you can just pay for your meal, we’ll get going.”

Sean crumples up the bills and throws it into Jae’s chest. 

“Good luck with that bitch, kid. You’re gonna need it.” And with that he retreats inside and slams the door shut behind him. 

Jae immediately rushes to your side and wraps you in a big hug. Although similar in mechanics to the hug earlier that day, this one was far different in intent. You could feel it in his soul, that hug was meant to squeeze all of the fragmented pieces of you back together again and hold them until they stuck. You can feel your heartbeat slowing to match his and your breathing slowly regulates. 

Mollie is gonna have a lot of fun with this one.

Jae escorts you back to the car and there’s a thick silence that you can’t quite bring yourself to cut as he puts the car into drive. You know he is forming his own story of what happened between you and Sean in his head and you can’t tell if that’s better or worse than just reliving it and telling him the whole story- cops and testifying and court and all.

Once out of the neighborhood, Jae heaves a sigh and chuckles a bit. 

“Well he seemed lovely.” 

“Uh huh. He’s a real peach.” 

Jae looks over at you with an expression of dual concern and amused what-the-fucker-y. Did that really just happen? 

There is a beat of silence and solid eye contact before you both start cracking up. Unable to restrain yourself any further, you both dissolve into a kind of healing, deep belly laughter that shakes the entire car. Pulling up to your house, Jae throws the car into park and then turns to face you. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything, you know? It’s not my business. You’re my business. But asshats like him aren't. Just that I’m around to keep them away from you.” 

You sigh deeply, still recovering from the laugh attack, before giving him a brief bulleted list of the sheer shenanigans that Sean had pulled on you all those years ago. You watched as Jae’s face contorted over the course of the story, hardening into yet another study in fierceness that you were yet to see from him. 

“I really am okay, though Jae. He had me pretty fucked up for a little bit but honest, I’m okay. I did the therapy, I fought my battles. I just hadn’t done the last closure step of actually looking him in the eye and saying goodbye and good riddance. And I probably never would’ve if it weren’t for tonight.” You reach out and grab his hand instinctively. 

“Thank you, Jae. I really appreciate you doing that with me. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

“You would’ve gotten your ass handed to you is what you would’ve done.” Jae states, deadpan.

“Jaeee!” You laugh, hitting him on the arm. 

“Oh, so now you can throw a punch? Okaaay, nice.” This little shit. 

Banter aside, Jae takes the key out of the ignition and gathers his things to get out of the car. As he closes the door, you hear him mutter “You need to pick better guys. You’re too great to end up with someone like that.” 

You don’t have any kind of answer to that, but you feel a lightness in your chest as his eyes burn into you. Jae walks you to your front door and all you can hear in your head is an echo of Jae’s declaration of “I’m Jae, Y/N’s boyfriend.” Is that what I want? 

You end up at your front door far too soon and the twinkling of the helicopters in the sky signals to you that it’s more than time for Jae to go home. Your heart sinks into your stomach at the thought of him leaving and you inwardly groan. 

Jae gives you one last hug goodnight and you know before he even releases you that this isn’t enough. Not even nearly. Your feelings, whatever they may be: love, like, general affection, haven’t been correctly quantified and expressed. This has been the best day you’ve had in months, and he was the deciding factor. You were grateful to have him there on your front door step, in his arms. But maybe, just maybe, if you’re able to express to him exactly how you feel about him in this moment, he’ll be able to help you out and translate exactly what this feeling means for your future together. Without thinking about it too much, you retreat from the hug and angle your face up to his so that your noses are almost touching. You sit like this for just a second. That sickening second that would allow him to retreat and tell you you’re an idiot for even thinking it. But he doesn’t retreat. Instead, your lips are brushing against one another in just the barest of whispers of a kiss. His lips are so soft. It’s over in an instant and as the chilly night air cuts between the two of you, you are all too aware of how disproportionately warm your face and neck have become. You smile up at Jae and he carries a similar, if not slightly more shocked, half smile. 

As if reading one another’s minds, you both understand that it’s wise to let one another think about the night's proceedings before any further rash decisions are made. In an attempt to preserve the spell of the night sky and the kiss and the chirping cicadas, neither of you say another word to one another but instead exchange content smiles that convey more than a goodnight ever could. With a slight bow of his head and a glide of his hand down the length of your arm, Jae walks backwards down your front steps and slips into the night, shaking his head slightly, trying and failing to conceal his smile. You watch him from the porch as he skips up to his house, before slipping into the warmth of your own home.

...

GIVE IT A LIKE IF YA LIKE

FEEDBACK IS MY LOVE LANGUAGE

[britishchick09]

beatles yellow submarine livewatch

here’s my thoughts on the yellow sub movie as i watched it! :D

omg it’s sgt. pepper’s lonely hearts club band but it’s pepperland :D

jules verne reference :D

I WAS RIGHT IT’S PEPPER’S BAND

pretty music :D

the captain guy is sweet :) (not just because he has flowers)

OMG IT BE THEM

oh no blue meanies!

i didn’t know this movie had a plot cool :D

why apples

OH NOES BEATLES DED

THEY ALL DED

OH NO STATUE GUY DED

captain plz no ded

why is there a blue hand

glove?

RUN CAPTAIN RUN

GLOVE CRUSHED ‘LOVES’ YOU JERK >:(

ha ha glove :D

wait does one meanie have MICKEY EARS NO MICKEY IS TOO PURE FOR YOU

captain: “the meanies are coming!” band: *does NOTHING*

lol at the lincoln reference

DERE IT IS! :D

DERE’S THE SONG! :D

♫ WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE WE ALL LIVE IN A YELLOW SUBMARINE YELLOW SUBMARINE YELLOW SUBMARINE! ♫

cool font on the credits tho

it’s england :D

not even a minute later and it’s song time again

all the lonely people are watching now yay :)

RINGO!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

“an old splintered drumstick”

ringo look behind you sweetie

RINGO LOOK BEHIND YOU

oh so he knows

your outfit isn’t logical RINGO

help the poor captain RINGO

wot WHY SO MANY DOORS

my dad just turned it on in the living room and it’s on an earlier part so it’s weird

“i’ll just park it here :/”

hey marilyn monroe

frankenstein has a SISTER

OH HEY JOHN

john is frankenstein comfirmed?

of course george is in an indian music room

george looks cool bro

ha ha lol georgie :D

he sounds WAY better than the cartoon george ♥

omg car chaos

it’s john driving isn’t it

on the tv paul appeared but a train rammed into a door on mine so idk about that

PAUL :D

PAUL SO POSH

omg the real world exists

hey it’s day in the life music

AHHHH MAKE  IT STOPPPP

and they all died :)

jk they’re in the sub

“so THIS is a submarine” what did you think it was paul

“GROOVY”

the chop the tree verse played on the tv when mine started so it’s way off

omg seizure fishes

IT BE ARM FISH!

♫ ALL TOGETHER NOW ALL TOGETHER NOW ALL TOGETHER NOW ALL TOGETHER NOW ALL TOGETHER NOW ALL TOGETHER NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! ♫

“it’s time, the TIME’ stop sounding like tony clock from dhmis john

oh no NUMBERS

since when were you the smart one paul

“you surprise me ringo”

why are they smol n’ chubby

is this like sailor moon supers movie when they become kids

I KNEW IT

LITTLE JOHN THO

yo it’s 2009 now

they’re waving and it’s cute :D

yo that hair

why does george look like god

flying boots tho

nice flowers :D

yo trippy

cool music :D

“he just wrote it like that”

why is it a seizure warning

“he’s UUUUGGGGLLLLYYYYYY” HEY DON’T JUDGE BEATLE BLUE MEANIES >:(

“he must be a bicyclops”

i refreshed the page and the tv is still a few seconds off but it’s not as bad as before :)

yo why is there a torso horn man

a school of whales

GREEN WHALES

“university of whales” lol

“STEER CLEAR!” “yes dear”

“don’t touch that button!”

RINGO YOU HAD ONE JOB

RINGOOOOOO

OMG JUMPY THINGS WOT

“there goes ringo”

AHHHHHHHHHHHH

yo what a big cig

*explosion* AND THAT’S WHY YOU DON’T SMOKE KIDS

why is ringo always the one in danger in beatles movies :(

“so long sucka” -george harrison 1968

YO STOP ATTACKING MY BOI

“jus press a button”

“how was it ringo?’ “harrow-ing”

cool typewriter bro

nowhere man is cool :D

DANCE MY BOIS! :D

awwww ringo is so nice ♥

my dad tried to sync the movies up during nowhere man and now it’s closer but still off :/

he’s wearing the beatles shirt i got him for his b-day (his has the let it be cover) and i’m wearing one of his (beatlemania) so it’s cute :D

yo is that a bunny

trippy mind land woah

yo john’s voice is trippyyyyyyyy

is this lucy

yo this is cool but trippy

I KNEW IT WAS LUCY :D

this is about drugs i can tell

JOHN JUST SMILED

AND MY DAD JUST GOT IT TO SYNC YAS!

omg what’s going on

this truly is trippy sorry beatles it’s a drug song

YO NICE FEDORA JOHN

and nice disguise ;)

hey it’s a 20s girl kewl

i like jeremy :)

circles why

“what do you know about hooooooles”

“the boob is making more and more sense”

"where’s jahnny”

IT BE THE SEA OF GREEN

yo is this the spongebob intro

OMG MAGIC MUSIC :D

they made it! :D

music man is back! :D

“we’re quite cute” SURE PAUL

yo rainbow hats kewl

OH NO BLUE MEANIE WITH MICKEY EARS >:(

he burped AND IT WAS GROSS >:(

all the lonely people :(

my dad’s reaction when the apples fell:’ah hah :D’

gloves inside feet shoes oh no :o

RUN BUNNY RUN

being chased by a giant glove would be terrifying actually

WHY ARE THE MEANIES TEETH RATTLING

nice disguise bois :D

mouth meanies :(

shut up ringo plz

oh no DON’T SHOOT THE BEATLES MAN

they’re becoming the pepper band :D

“oh ek”

*LOUD CRASHES* and yet they sleep

“john love” “what did he say?” “shhh!”

cool green hair paul

“on tip toe”

“tip toe through the meanies” nice reference ;)

OH CRAP THEY ALL UP

RUN BOIS RUNNNNNNN!

PAUL WAS ALMOST DEAD :(

yo why the wobbly camera

safe in the forest :)

“teeny weeny meanie”

i think that ‘breakfast’ is the mean apples

BOOM HE GO DOWN

AND HE DO TOO AND HIM AND HIM

oh no they’re not blue-ish

why is a beat six john

sgt. pepper’s lonely hearts club band est 1948 (or 2007?)

YAS LOVE THE SHOW BOIS! :D

i love how they’re tying in the previous album :D

“i’d love to take you home ;)” JOHN NO

BILLY SHEARS?????????

and everybody loved that :D

OMG IT’S MY 6TH FAVE SONG :D

oh no it’s fading

SHUT UP BIRD >:(

“the hills are aliiiive :)” “with the sound of musiiiic” nice meanies ;)

he go BOOM BOOM BOOM

stop laughing meanie

he’s actually creepy tho :(

“BLOOOPAAAS”

w h o ?

“there you aaaare my little flower” mommy the blue meanie is being scary again :(

“OHBLOOOTERATE THEM” nice

what did those nasty meds do tho

g l o v e

“open your mouth john” it’s ringo saying it BUT IF IT HAD BEEN PAUL...

♫ all you need is love all you need is love love is all you need ♫ :D

an act of true love can defeat a blue meanie’s heart :)

SO MUCH LOVE :D

george floats so fab :D

love truly does win! :D

yay no more meanies! :D

it’s the pepper band! :D

“it’s sgt. pepper’s” “lonely heart club’s” “band”

*john rambles about einstien* john truly is the smart one :D

“nothing is beatle-proof”

“i got a hole in me pocket”

they back! :D

twinsies! :D

yo pepper john has no stache

“beatles to battle!”

OH CRAP THEY BACK

is this hey bulldog because the dogs are barking

CALLED IT :D

you go johns :D

the meanie dogs are john fans i see ;)

one of them likes the song cute :)

this is a trolling song ain’t it

the sing a long is even on the talking parts lol

jeremy plz be careful

sad meanie is good >:)

JEREMY NO :O

“a rosy nose?” lol :D

yay for roses! :D

yay jeremy! :D

“i knew he was somebody” :’)

“where could we go?” “argentina?” lol

jeremy is a somewhere man now :D

YO JEREMY ROCK

the tv froze so my dad went to his phone (although he could watch it on the computer with me) JUST AS THAT AWESOME ROCK CHORD PLAYED YO

this is trippyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

jeremy trippy spin :D

yo that sun tho

wow what a trippy world this is

BUT AT LEAST THERE’S JEREMY HAPPY SPIN :D

OMG THE LADS

"a hole in my pocket” lol :D

“what’s the matter john love?” ;)

ONE TWO THREE FAUH

paul has a cute wink :)

i’ve seen the live action song before and it’s so cute :D

ALL TOGETHER NOWWWWWWWW! :D

wowza that was amazing!!!!!!!!! :D

i give it a blue 8.5/10! :D

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Z Movie 14: Battle of Gods

“Battle of Gods” premiered on March 30, 2013, seventeen years after “The Path to Power.”   Apparently Toei changed up their logo a bit during that time.

Anyway, this movie, wait, what?    Are we watching Star Wars now?  

Yes, we know Toei made this, why are they credited again?

And what’s this thing for?   I mean, they could have put this at the start of any of these movies, but why do it now?  

The way I heard it, this movie got made because 20th Century Fox had the rights to make a Dragon Ball movie in the U.S., and then they made Dragon Ball Evolution in 2009, and it... did not impress anyone.   At all.    I remember thinking it was okay, but that’s about as much enthusiasm as I could muster for it.    Anyway, the story goes that Toriyama decided that he didn’t care much for DBE, and decided to come out of retirement to make his own Dragon Ball movie and show all the big shots at Fox how it’s done.   Well, maybe I just assumed this.   It makes a good story, doesn’t it?  

The theatrical release was 85 minutes long, but the home video version got an extra twenty-minutes of footage, which includes this rather lengthy introduction to the story, recapping Goku’s past adventures.   I don’t think the movie particularly needed this, although I am grateful that they found a way to cram Cell into it.

Then we get to the actual start, where the Kaioshin have observed that Beerus the Destroyer has awakened from his slumber.

Kibitoshin contacts King Kai to keep an eye on the situation, and to keep Goku out of it at all costs.   

But Goku is on King Kai’s planet, and he overhears their discussion, and King Kai can’t keep a secret, apparently, so he just tells Goku the whole thing.   So far, all the gods we’ve seen in Dragon Ball are responsible for creating and preserving life, like the Kais and Kaioshin.   Beerus, on the other hand, is a Hakaioshin, or God of Destruction, and it’s his role to destroy stuff from time to time, in order to maintain balance in the universe.   And unlike all the Kais, Beerus actually has immense power worthy of his authority.

And naturally Goku wants to see how strong he is, even though King Kai keeps insisting that he’s not someone Goku needs to mess with.  

And there’s the title of this here picture.

We then go to Beerus’, uh... planet?  Whatever this thing would be called.    It reminds me of Tokimi’s domain in Tenchi Muyo!

And here’s Beerus.   He’s a big purple cat dude, and he’s pretty awesome.   I’m not sure how long he normally sleeps, but he set his alarm to wake him up after 39 years, and everyone comments that this is a very short nap by his standards.   Also, Beerus’ alarm clock is made of bombs, because Dragon Ball Z.   

This is regarded as one of the best, if not the best Dragon Ball film, and it’s tough to argue the point.   In 2013-2014, it was a big heckin’ deal because it was the big return of Dragon Ball after the end of Dragon Ball GT in 1997.   From 2015 onwards, it became known as the ground floor of a whole new Dragon Ball franchise, Dragon Ball Super.   But even without the hype and nostalgia, what puts it ahead of the other movies is the simple fact that it works within the canon of the original manga.   It’s set during the ten year gap in the Kid Buu Saga, and it actually adds to the lore of the main story.     Movies 5 and 8 introduced characters with connections to the main story in Cooler and Broly, but they barely tried to explain what those characters had been doing while all the stuff with Frieza was going on.  

By contrast, Movie 14 introduces a new deity, and he claims at least partial responsibility for destroying Planet Vegeta.   That’s a huge deal, and it’s not something that Turles or Bojack could ever do.   According to Beerus, he believed the Saiyans were beyond redemption, so he planned to destroy their planet, but it was too far away for him to bother with, so he told Frieza to do it for him.   At the same time, Beerus found Frieza to be quite insufferable as well, so he considers destroying him as well, but then his attendant Whis tells him that someone named Goku already beat him to it.   

When Whis explains that Goku beat Frieza by becoming a Super Saiyan, it reminds Beerus of a dream he had about something he calls a “Super Saiyan God”.    See, before he took his 39-year nap, Beerus was told that he would meet an arch-rival.   That’s why he set his alarm bombs for this year, because this is supposed to be when it happens.   Apparently during his nap, he had a dream of his own, that he would fight a Super Saiyan God.

Whis doesn’t put much stock in any of this, especially since the Oracle Fish who made the prophecy doesn’t seem to recall saying it, but Beerus insists on investigating, so Whis locates the remaining Saiyans on Earth.   He then notices Goku is on King Kai’s planet, so they decide to head there first.

Meanwhile, on Earth, it’s Bulma’s birthday.   She won’t say how old she is, but this movie is set in Age 778, four years after the fight with Majin Buu, and she was born in Age 733, so she’s 45 in this movie.   

There’s a bit where Mr. Satan apparently meets Bulma’s father for the first time and mistakes him for a waiter.   Ox King has to explain who Dr. Brief is, and Mr. Satan is mortified to learn that he just asked the world’s richest man to fetch him a drink.    Dr. Brief doesn’t seem to mind much.

There’s a bingo tournament at the party, and the prizes include stuff like an entire castle.   Bulma offers to liquidate prizes into cash if the winners prefer that.   I dig how 18 really, really wants some sweet castle money. 

On King Kai’s planet, Beerus and Whis arrive and have a somewhat awkward conversation with Goku, who knows nothing about “Super Saiyan God.”  Beerus decides to head for Earth to ask the other Saiyans there, but before he goes, Goku asks him to demonstrate some of his awesome power with a quick sparring match.    Beerus is intrigued by the request, so he agrees.

So Goku powers up to Super Saiyan 3, but he can’t even touch Beerus, or make him take the battle seriously.  

Really, this is my favorite part of the movie, because I dig me some Super Saiyan 3, and this movie just demolishes the whole concept of SSJ3 with the way Beerus humiliates Goku in this form.    It’s incredibly strong, as seen when Goku misses a punch and blasts a hole through King Kai’s planet, but against Beerus, SSJ3 is meaningless.   

Beerus only uses two blows to beat Goku.   The first is a playful flick of the finger in Goku’s face, and the second is a light chop to the neck.   Goku goes down like a ton of bricks, and Beerus proceeds on his merry way to Earth.

Now, you might be wondering how King Kai even has a planet, since Cell destroyed it way back in Episode 188.   Beerus and Whis briefly mention that it was restored, but they don’t say how it happened.    Neither does anyone mention that King Kai and Bubbles are still dead.   This is a running gag through Dragon Ball Super, where Goku keeps promising to wish King Kai back to life but never gets around to it.    I could have sworn King Kai was alive in Movie 14, but I must have been mistaken, unless Toei edited all these halos in after the fact.

By the way, Whis also mentions that King Kai’s planet is so small because Beerus got angry once and did something to make it this size.    I don’t know if he destroyed most of the planet’s mass, or some other thing.    At some point, it got established that Beerus was the one who trapped the Elder Kai in the Z-Sword, but that seems out of character as well.     Beerus destroys stuff.    Shrinking planets and sealing people in swords really isn’t his style.   

As for King Kai, he telepathically contacts Vegeta to warn him of Beerus’ impending arrival.   He makes it clear that Goku was no match for Beerus, and if anyone upsets Beerus, he might decide to destroy the Earth in his anger.  

Meanwhile, Goku struggles to make sense of what just happened.    He’s thrilled to have encountered someone so powerful, but he has no idea whether Super Saiyan God is a new form, or a person named “God” who happens to be an unknown Saiyan.   He also briefly considers fusing with Vegeta to beat Beerus, but then decides that not even Gogeta could close the gap in their powers.   

Luckily, Goku had some senzu beans in his belt, and Bubbles fishes one out and feeds it to him.   But that only restores Goku’s health.    He still doesn’t have an answer to the problem of Beerus.

So it’s up to Vegeta, who finally puts in an appearance at Bulma’s party.   She teases him, but he’s in no mood for jokes, because he feels like he remembers Beerus from somewhere, and he doesn’t know where.

So Bulma’s like, whatever, imma get my drink on.   

Then Beerus calls out to Vegeta, and Vegeta doesn’t know where he is.    One of the conceits of this movie is that Beerus’ power doesn’t operate on the ki used by most of the main characters.    So Goku and Vegeta can’t sense Beerus and Whis’ presence the way they can sense one another.   Supposedly, all deities are like this, except Kami and Dende had ordinary ki, and so did King Kai, because Goku was always able to find him for instant transmission.    The Supreme Kai is a different story, I guess, but Goku threatened to teleport to him at the beginning of this movie, implying that he could sense his presence and use Instant Transmission to reach him.    

Anyway, Vegeta searches a trash can for Beerus, since yeah, I guess he could be in there.

Oh, Krillin, you have no idea.    One of the major qualities that makes this movie a fan favorite is all the dumb stuff Vegeta does in this one.   

At last, Vegeta finds Beerus, and he remembers the time they visited Planet Vegeta when he was a child.    His father, King Vegeta, prepared a banquet for him, and spent the whole meal as a footstool.  

Personally, I never liked this scene much.   I think they just needed a way for Vegeta to have already met Beerus in the past, and this works well enough, except having Beerus humiliate King Vegeta seems rather redundant.    King Vegeta was already a vassal to Frieza, so having a second character treat him this way just feels hollow.  

Beerus asks Vegeta about the Super Saiyan God, but he doesn’t know anything about it either.   That might have been enough to get them to leave, except Bulma’s party attracts his attention, and he loves the smell of the food, and then Bulma herself walks over and invites Beerus and Whis to join them, much to Vegeta’s chagrin.

For what it’s worth, Beerus conducts himself with grace and manners at the party.    He puts up with Piccolo’s karaoke...

...enjoys the cuisine and the view of Yamcha’s handsome face...

...and he shows everyone his awesome dance moves.

Vegeta gets nervous when Mr. Satan drunkenly challenges him to a fight, but then he passes out and Beerus has a laugh over it, so he clearly didn’t take it seriously.

Meanwhile, Emperor Pilaf is sneaking around inside Bulma’s house.   So here’s the deal: these three never stopped trying to get the Dragon Balls to achieve world domination, and apparently at some point they succeeded, only for Pilaf to wish for restored youth instead.     Mai complains that they were made too young, but Pilaf’s reasoning is that it wouldn’t do for them to wish for world domination and then die of old age immediately after.  

I feel like this is some sort of shot at Dragon Ball GT, where the Pilaf Gang appears in the first episode and they’re very elderly.    But maybe I’m reading too much into that.    At any rate, Pilaf is young, but he’s also poor, so he plans to use their next Dragon Ball wish to get some cash, and then they can wish to rule the world.   Does he know that the Dragon grants more than one wish at a time now?    I feel like Toriyama might have forgotten that in 2013, honestly.

Somehow, Pilaf has a Dragon Radar, and that’s how he knows all seven Dragon Balls are in Bulma’s house.   Turns out they’re the grand prize of the bingo tournament, and so they’re located in the prize room.   How did Bulma fit an entire castle inside one room of her house?  

Overcome with envy, Pilaf spray paints graffitti on the prizes.    Yeah, DX Rulz!

They find the Balls, but can’t risk summoning Shenron indoors.   Then Trunks walks in on them, and then Goten shows up, and they panic, because they mistake Goten for Goku, their old nemesis.  

This screencap should be in the Smithsonian or something.   

Mai was trying to steal one of the other prizes, a valuable diamond, but she hands it back to Trunks before running away.  

Goten asks who those guys were, Trunks says Mai is his girlfriend, which impresses Goten to no end.    “So awesome!”   I like that there’s at least some effort to try to age up the boys.    Goten doesn’t look too different, but his dad was pretty short at twelve, and he’s only eleven here.    Meanwhile, Trunks should be almost the same age as Future Trunks was when he found Future Gohan’s dead body.  

Anyway, Mai only gave Trunks the diamond to cover her theft of one of the Dragon Balls.    Her plan is to hold it for ransom, say one million dollars.    But the diamond was probably worth a lot more than that.  

But before they can make their escape, Trunks invites them to join the party because Bulma wants to meet his new girlfriend.   Pilaf thinks it’s him.  Mai isn’t too keen on pretending to be Trunks’ date, but at least they get free food out of this.   

Back on King Kai’s planet, Goku films more segments for Jackass.   He always forgets to bring a camera, but it’s the thought that counts.

Then Bulma tries to start the bingo tournament, but Yamcha points out that one of the Dragon Balls is missing, which screws up her grand prize.   

Pilaf gets caught sneaking the seventh ball, so Mai tries to use Trunks as a hostage.    Except everyone thinks it’s a skit, either because Trunks is impervious to bullets, or because no one thinks Mai would have a real gun.

Then Gohan decides to join in, so he switches to his Great Saiyaman outfit and dares Mai to shoot him in the face.    What the fuck?

So she does it, and Gohan deflects the bullets.    He’s irked that Mai’s gun is real, and even more irked when he realizes he deflected one of the bullets into his wife’s leg.     Imagine going to a party like this and getting shot.   I guess this is why they stopped inviting Launch to these things. 

Oh, and then Master Roshi wants to feel Videl up.    She got shot, you asshole!   Master Roshi belongs in jail.    Seriously, imagine you’re Mr. Satan, and you just watched your daughter get shot, and some sex pest shows up and he’s all “Lemme give her mouth-to-mouth eh-heh-heh-heh-heh!”     This whole part of the movie hasn’t aged well, at least for me.  

I guess it didn’t bother me so much the first time I saw it because I knew Dende could just heal her, but that doesn’t make this okay.    Someone informs Mr. Satan that Dende is Kami, and he’s all like “What?  Really?”    I guess he just forgot that day they hung out together stalking Super Buu on the deserted planet Earth.  

Anyway, Dende somehow detects that Videl is pregnant while he heals her leg.   He seems kind of concerned about this, like he doesn’t know what that means.   “Ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you have a parasite.”   “No, that’s a baby, it’s cool, I put it there.”   “Look, I didn’t come here to listen to you brag about your sex life.”

Oh, also one of the bullets hit Beerus, which irritates him enough that he decides to blow up the world...

Until Vegeta jumps on stage and performs his epic Bingo song and dance number.   How did he get the music cued up? 

Watching Vegeta make an ass of himself is enough to calm Beerus down, so Vegeta thinks he might be safe for a little longer.

Meanwhile, Piccolo loses at Bingo and Bee eats his card.    What a good boy.   Well, without any pesky litter to annoy Beerus, it looks like Vegeta is home free.   Wait, why is “Roundabout” by Yes playing?   

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Oh no...

Oh, he won’t share his pudding because he doesn’t know this guy can kill everybody that’s bad.

So this leads to Buu throwing down with Beerus, and Beerus can kick his ass easily, but the point is that he’s mad enough to destroy the world, and this time no amount of singing and dancing is going to calm him down.

Everyone tries to stop Beerus, but he just schools them all with chopsticks.  

Gohan gets Beerus in a full nelson for like 0.2 seconds, but it doesn’t get him very far.   Why did Gohan change clothes again for this?   

So Vegeta figures we’re all screwed now anyway, so he jumps into the fray.  

It goes about as well as you’d expect.    To be fair, he lasts longer than Goku did.   

Goten and Trunks fuse into Gotenks, who tries to shame Beerus over his motives.   He’s going to destroy the whole world over pudding?   I’ve probably said this before, but when Gotenks thinks you’re being immature, it’s probably time to take a step back and think about your choices.

Beerus replies that he’s upset about pudding because he’s never had it before, and now he can never taste it because some pink asshole ate it all.   Gotenks doesn’t understand his frustration because he probably eats pudding all the time.    This scene is dumb, but it actually captures the core point of this conflict.    Beerus savors all these new experiences because he’s like a kajillion years old, and it’s hard for him to find something truly novel in life.   So when he’s denied the taste of pudding, it’s a huge deal to him, while the other characters take it for granted.

Then he spanks Gotenks and tosses him to the ground.

You know, the funny thing about it is that I really have no idea what kind of pudding we’re talking about here.    The term covers so many different types of food.   I assume this is about Jello instant pudding, specifically French Vanilla flavor.   So yeah, of course Beerus should be angry about that.   French Vanilla Jello pudding rules, and he doesn’t even know it.   But for all I know, Buu was eating a bunch of flan, Panna cotta, or haggis.   In which case, yeah, Beerus probably shouldn’t be this worked up about it.  

Anyway, nobody can stop this dude, and Vegeta’s amazed by just how much stronger Beerus is.    He at least takes some solace in the honor of being killed by no less than the God of Destruction.   

But then Bulma confronts him and tells him to cut out all this shit, because he’s ruining her 38th birthday party.    Krillin’s pleased to hear how old Bulma is, but that’s dumb, because he ought to know Bulma’s older than he is.

Anyway, she slaps Beerus, who slaps her back and knocks her down, and Vegeta loses his shit.   This is the famous “MY BULMAAAAAA” scene.    It’s weird to me, but I remember what a big deal this was at the time, and yet now it feels sort of mundane.    Like, I first watched this movie in late 2013, on some kind of bootleg fansub, and I think the scene had gotten around in the U.S.   But even by the time it came to theaters in 2014, the audience went apeshit when this happened.    Vegeta loves his wife!   Now it’s like, of course he loves his wife.   Movie 14 said so.    But at the time, when Movie 14 was brand new, this was the sort of thing Vegebul shippers could only appreciate in theory.    

Don’t get me wrong, this part fucking rules.   Everyone’s been tiptoeing around Beerus this whole time, but Vegeta’s been pushed too far, and he’s got nothing to lose, and for a brief moment, it looks like Beerus is getting a taste of his own medicine.   

Then we see this lady, for no apparent reason.  This is Kaori Mutsumoto, who won the 2012 Olympics Gold Medal for judo.    I guess that’s why they gave her a cameo in this movie, but that’s about all I know.  

Anyway, none of Vegeta’s furious offense hurts Beerus at all, even though Master Roshi observes that he surpassed Goku in power.   Beerus boops him on the forehead and knocks him out.  

In the theatrical cut, this is when Goku would show himself, but in the extended version, Beerus decides to give the Earth one more chance by challenging Oolon to a game of rock-paper-scissors.    I really don’t know what the point of this was.   I mean, it’s kind of funny, I guess, but why Oolong specifically?    I guess Toriyama wanted to give Oolong a moment in the film, but why?   He was in most of the Buu Saga, holed up on Kami’s Lookout with the others until Super Buu ate him, but he barely said or did anything the entire time.    Why should anyone care about him now?    Why should Beerus single him out, of all people?  

Anyway, the gag here is that Yamcha thinks Beerus picked Oolong because he’s a pig, and pigs can only do scissors because of their cloven hooves.   But Oolong’s a pig-man, with man hands, so he can do paper and rock too.    So Yamcha tells him that Beerus will certainly go with rock, so Oolong should use paper to counter.   

Except Beerus overhears the entire conversation, because his ears are bigger than his entire head, so he does scissors and wins.    Dragon Ball Super turned this bit into half of an entire episode.    The Beerus Saga in Dragon Ball Super is fucking vile.    They took a great movie like this and just turned it into crap.

All right, so now Goku makes his big entrance.   At first he looks all cool, like when he walked up to Frieza back on Namek, but the truth is he still has no idea how to beat Beerus.     Then he gets an idea on how to get a Super Saiyan God, and asks Beerus for time to try it out.   

Said idea is the Dragon Balls.   Is that Farmer with Shotgun?  He’d settle Beerus’ hash.

Basically, Goku asks Shenron about the Super Saiyan God, and this throws him off, because Shenron grants wishes, and answering questions is kind of a grey area for him.  Fortunately, he’s so frightened to see Beerus that he’s very accomodating and just explains the whole Super Saiyan God concept in detail.  

So real quick, because this post is taking forever: The Super Saiyan God isn’t an individual deity, but a transformation once used by righteous Saiyans to rebel against their evil brethren.     The figure seen while Shenron tells this story was later identified by Akira Toriyama as Yamoshi, the first Super Saiyan.   He and his five Saiyan allies fought against the evil Saiyans, and I guess they turned him into this God form, which let him whoop-ass until he ran out of power.   

With that settled, Shenron excuses himself, mostly out of fear of Beerus.   I’d say that Shenron owes Goku a second and third wish, but I’m not sure answering his question counted as a first wish, so who knows?

So this leads to the gang arguing over whether they have five righteous Saiyans, since Vegeta used to be a real dick, and Goku’s not always dependable either, and Goten once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.    But they figure they might as well give it a shot, and they all hold hands and lend their power to Goku.   Only it doesn’t work.   Goku gets stronger, but nowhere near strong enough to beat Beerus, and there’s nothing divine about his power-up.

But Whis points out that they actually need six Saiyans, since Shenron’s story states that it took five righteous Saiyans to help a sixth one achieve the form.    Bulma remembers Vegeta’s brother, Tarble, from the “Yo!  Son Goku and His Friends Return” special, which aired in 2007 and was set about two years before this movie.    Only Vegeta doesn’t even know where Tarble lives or how to contact him.   Couldn’t Whis track him down?    I mean, he found all of these guys easily enough.

Then Videl suggests that they have a sixth Saiyan right here, because Gohan got her pregnant.  

Everyone flips out, but this is hardly the time to celebrate, because Beerus is about to blow up the world.   So they do the hand-holdin’ thing again, but with Videl.

And it works.    Like Beerus and Whis, no one can sense Goku’s ki anymore, and he’s got maroon hair and his body is lankier than before.

So Beerus and Goku fight.   Honestly the Super Saiyan God form doesn’t seem like such a big deal, since this part of the fight is just the warm up.    It takes Goku a while to get used to using it, and they spend most of that time discussing how Goku is dissatisfied with how he got to this level.    He doesn’t like that he needed the others to help him achieve this form.   Beerus scolds his stubborn pride, and says that most Saiyans wouldn’t care about such details, because all they crave is power, by any means.   

But Goku points out that Vegeta is even prouder than he is, and yet Vegeta forsook his pride to protect the others, back when he did the bingo song and all of that stuff.   This tells us two things.   First, Goku was there to witness all of that.   Second, Beerus was fully aware of Vegeta’s efforts to keep him from becoming angry.    I’d suggest that Beerus isn’t quite as irritable and volatile as he seems.  Maybe he purposely goaded Vegeta to test him, just like how he hit Bulma just to see if it might provoke Vegeta into reaching a higher power level.  

The point, though, is that for all of Vegeta’s pride, he could set it aside for the bigger picture.   He can compromise for the sake of protecting his loved ones and the Earth.    Goku’s the same way, which is why he accepted the other’s help in becoming a Super Saiyan God.   He doesn’t like how he got here, but he couldn’t afford to try to go it alone.  

And really, this is a lesson Goku’s learned time and again.     He had to accept teachers before in his life: Grandpa Gohan, Master Roshi, Korin, Mr. Popo, King Kai, and now this.   But it’s been a long time since he had to take lessons from anyone, and maybe that’s the problem.   Goku’s been on top for so long that he lost sight of something he understood better as a child.   A student has to swallow their pride to learn and grow.    And Goku will always be a student, because he’s constantly trying to improve himself and push past his limits.     Like it or not, he had to accept this path to the God form.

Meanwhile, the rest of the characters get in an aircraft to observe the battle, and Whis asks 18 what ice cream is.    He remarks that her response is as cold as his dessert, which he thinks is a clever bon mot.   Look, your boss is going to blow up the world.    How friendly can you expect her to be here?

Also, Vegeta admits to Krillin that he doesn’t envy Goku like he ususally does in these situations.    I like this, because it shows that Vegeta is willing to drop his usual bravado in this situation.    This isn’t a fun situation, and he knows it.  

Anyway, Goku and Beerus keep fighting, but somehow Goku loses his Nacho Cheese Dorito appearance.  He looks like he’s changed back to normal, and yet he’s still fighting Beerus as if nothing’s happened.    He can even use Instant Transmission, which would have been nearly useless against Beerus before, because Goku couldn’t sense him.    I assume that Super Saiyan God Goku could sense godly ki, so the fact that he can still sense it must mean that he’s still tapping into the SSG power, even if he doesn’t look like it.

Then he turns vanilla Super Saiyan, and now the fight gets really good, because the insert song plays.  It’s “Hero” by FLOW.   The weird thing is that they recorded an English version of the song for the dub, but when I watched the Japanese version on the DVD, the song is still in English.    Weird.    Fortunately, I have the Japanese version of “Hero” on my phone, so I can listen to that all the time.   

Anyway, yeeeeahhhhh.    Fuck Yamoshi, Goku’s gonna do this Luffa-style and fight Beerus as a Super Saiyan 1.   

Then they fight IN SPACE because anime.    Earlier, Beerus used hand energy on Goku, so Goku figures he’ll respond in kind, using the best hand energy.

WARP KAMEHAMEHA!    Cell may not get to be in this movie, but Goku uses the move that blew his face off!    Yee-haw!

But it doesn’t work, and Beerus chucks one of those big energy balls at Goku, like all the other bad guys use.   He also points out to Goku that his God power expired several minutes ago.

Then Goku sees Chi-Chi in his thoughts, and that gives him the intestinal fortitude to somehow change back into a Super Saiyan God and nullify Beerus’ energy ball.    Chi-Chi’s that good in bed, folks.

So Beerus is truly impressed by Goku’s performance.   Somehow, his body learned the Super Saiyan God form, and allowed Goku to tap into that power without doing the hand-holding ceremony with five other Saiyans.   Beerus calls him a fighting genius for this, although maybe Yamoshi and any other SSG’s had the same talent, and they just got killed before they could demonstrate it.  

In any case, it’s still not enough to win Goku this fight.    Beerus wants to hear him surrender, and Goku admits defeat.    Beerus had offered to spare the Earth if Goku won, but Goku just can’t beat him, even with the God power.   And Beerus refuses to back out of that stipulation, because once he makes up his mind, he sticks to it.  

Instead, Beerus gives Goku a different consolation prize by revealing that Whis is actually Beerus’ teacher, and he’s even stronger than Beerus is.   So it just goes to show that even Gods of Destruction have to swallow their pride and accept help to grow.  

He also informs Goku that their universe is merely the seventh of twelve, which means that Whis isn’t even the strongest being out there.   This fascinates Goku to no end, because he always longs to meet stronger folks.  

Then they head back to the surface, and Beerus destroys Earth just as he said, only he just destroys a small piece of it, which I guess counts for something.   I don’t know if this is a play on “Earth the planet” versus “earth the dirt”, or something else.    Beerus says he’s too worn out from the fight to destroy the whole thing, so maybe that’s all it is.

Anyway, Beerus apologizes to Bulma for making a scene at her party, and for hitting her.    She agrees to invite them to her next party, and promises to have a swimming pool full of pudding for him.    That sounds kind of gross, actually.   

On the Supreme Kai Planet, the Kaioshin observe Beerus’ peaceful departure, and are amazed that Goku was able to defuse that situation without Beerus destroying them all.   Kibitoshin suggests that maybe it’s not just Goku’s character, but the entire Dragon Team as well.    Not Roshi, though, he’s a sex pest who belongs in jail.    If Beerus had boobs we’d all be dead right now.  

Back on his own turf, Beerus is pleased with how things turned out.   Goku and Vegeta weren’t really strong enough to be true arch-rivals, but Beerus is certain that they could eventually become arch-rivals in time, which is good enough for him.

Beerus plans to take a three-year nap, but Whis offers him some sushi that he got in a to-go box before they left.   Beerus takes an interest in the glob of wasabi in the box, and he just eats the whole thing.

That makes him bounce around the place like a Tom and Jerry cartoon, and Whis has to hit him to stop him from damaging any nearby planets.    So we get at least a glimpse into Whis’ true strength, which is as far beyond Beerus as Beerus is beyond Goku.

Back on Earth, the party just keeps on going.    I like the idea of Bulma just throwing a marathon party, but I can’t really say I’d enjoy that personally.   I’d probably get bored after 15 minutes.

During this quiet moment, Goku praises Vegeta for turning into “an awesome Super Saiyan” after Bulma got hit.   

Vegeta’s embarassed by this, but Goku admits that he definitely surpassed him in that moment.   Then he jokes that the next time they have to fight a guy, Goku will just get the enemy to hit Bulma, and that’ll get Vegeta good and fired up.

Then everyone’s mad at Goku, because he must have been watching them get beat up during the middle of the movie and didn’t step in until later.   It ain’t easy being Goku.

Then the credits roll, and they show all the highlights from the manga, including this shot of Cell, which is the best one.   

And yeah, that’s it.   

I mean, it’s definitely one of the best movies of the lot.    It’s a lot longer than most of the other films, and it feels more like an actual, stand-alone film.    The Cooler movies really depend on you being familiar with a lot of DBZ lore, like Bardock, Frieza, the destruction of Planet Vegeta, and so on.     This movie takes care to actually introduce most of the concepts it uses.    The Kai’s introduce Beerus, Beerus and Whis introduce Saiyans and Super Saiyans, and Shenron explains what a Super Saiyan God is.    It’s not entirely airtight-- no one really bothers to explain the Kais, or why Bulma invited bit players like Ox King and Mr. Satan to her party, but you can at least muddle through.   

My main critique is that it’s a little too devoted to fanservice.   Not the pervy kind, but the kind where they felt like they had to have Gotenks and Great Saiyaman in the movie, just for the sake of having them put in an appearance.    Most of the characters just didn’t need to be there, and I think the movie drags in places when it tries to give Oolong or Mr. Satan something to contribute.    There’s something to be said for the minimalist approach used in the DBS: Broly movie, where the only Dragon Team guys are Goku, Vegeta, and Bulma.    Yeah, it kind of sucks that Gohan doesn’t get to be in that one, but if they didn’t have anything for him to do, then I’d rather leave him out entirely than have him just stand around like he did for most of this movie.   

I remember being kind of bewildered by the way they went to all the trouble of introducing a new form for Goku, only to have him get stronger when he stopped using it, but now that we’ve learned more about the godly ki stuff from Movie 15 and the back half of Dragon Ball Super, it makes a little more sense.   Nacho Cheese Dorito Goku was just the door, and this movie was about Goku stepping through it.  

Rewatching “Battle of Gods”, I don’t feel quite as hyped as I did when it first came out.    I remember being pretty excited about Goku fighting this purple cat dude, and I never dreamed that he’d lose so badly, or that Beerus would turn out to be an okay dude in the end.    It was a big deal that they brought all of this stuff back after so many years.   

Now, though, it’s just become part of the DBZ mythos, which kind of diminishes it somehow.    It’s definitely not as good as Fusion Reborn, at least for me.   I was looking forward to watching Movie 12 again way back in July, and when I did get to that one, I ended up rewatching large sections of it a few times.   I just love that movie.    Same thing with Movie 13.   I only watched that one the one time, but the whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking “Man, this is so good.”    BoG is a great movie, but it’s just not on the same level as those others.    Just my opinion, of course.   

Nevertheless, you’ve got a really awesome trilogy of movies here, which serves as a nice make-good for the crap trilogy of Bojack and the Broly sequels.    And after that, you’ve got Movie 15, and well... 

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 48.1 - Warwick vs Exeter

Kylian Mbappe receives the ball from Lucas Hernandez, and with a nonchalance that can only come from being so young, strikes it beyond a floundering Danijel Subašić. France lead Croatia 4-1. Their opponents will score a consolation in a few minutes, but to all intents and purposes the biggest match in the biggest sporting event in the world has just been ended by a nineteen year old. He had also high-fived a pitch-invading member of Pussy Riot.

I don’t know whether professional footballers would make worse University Challenge contestants than University Challenge contestants would make footballers, but both require skill, timing, and an ability to perform under the mightiest of pressure. 

But for tonight’s contestants, victory comes with it not the eternal promise of national adulation, but the passing acknowledgement of intellectual achievement. Still, its something, even if they won’t get the chance to shake hands with any Russian feminist protest punk groups.

Warwick are one time UC Champions, having won the 2007 final against Manchester, but have only made the quarter finals twice since, coming within 30 points of knocking out Eric Monkman’s Wolfson at that stage in 2017. Exeter return to the Challenge following a three year absence, though their glory days were around a decade ago too, with consecutive quarter final appearances in 2008 and 2009.

Emily Wolfenden is the first contestant to introduce herself, and does so in a Warwick Uni Quiz Soc hoodie which identifies her as the incumbent President at the time of filming. It seems strange to me that the almighty leader of WUQS should be sitting out wide, but who am I to question the formation when it was probably her who chose it? 

They are mascotted by a pair of ducks, because why have one duck when you can have two ducks, am I right? Captain Beardsley has a very prominent zip on his hoodie and to his left Gower has a very prominent set of sideburns. I’m not sure where the line is drawn between general purpose sideburns and fully-blown mutton chops (presumably its a hairy one somewhere around the upper lip) but Gower is definitely playing fast and loose with it.

Careful research has indicated that what I, and Bobby Seagull, the old narcissist, thought to be a seagull performing mascot duties for Exeter, is in fact an albatross. Albus the Albatross, to give him his full name, as confirmed by Will Klintworth, who could easily be confused for Taron Egerton if he was playing the lead in Starter for 10.

Paxman gives the rules in full. They haven’t changed. They probably never will. And on we go.

Sartori commits the cardinal sin of forgetting the earlier clues and negs, but perhaps unluckily makes the wrong choice between ‘Night’ and ‘Fever’ based on the final hint, and hands the opening question to Exeter. Captain Lay nominates Klintworth to say ‘hooligan’ for one of the bonuses, which is probably for the best, given the difficulties involved in its pronunciation. Klintworth confidently takes the next starter and Exeter grab a hat-trick on the bonuses.

Gower negs the third to leave Warwick dangling ten points below zero, but Lay can’t capitalise on the error, and then Wolfenden starts proving my thesis that she should be closer to the action by dragging her team back to the surface with a classic UC question on consonants.

I don’t know if there’s much point in memorising the periodic table given that every self-respecting person who needs to use one will have a giant copy on their office wall, but it wins Exeter a few points and they extend their lead to a handsome fifty five points.

It must have been cold in the studio on the day of filming, because all eight contestants are wearing at least two layers, but I reckon Warwick must have put the extra layers on pretty late, because they were only just starting to warm up. A first starter for Beardsley is quickly cancelled out by Exeter, but an early buzz of ‘Angels in America’ signalled that the Coventry-based side were finally ready to get going.

Steadily they hacked away at the deficit, like George Osbourne if he’d been competent, and despite an absurdly quick buzz from Lay on the games company Valve, they’d taken the lead by the time the second picture round came around. Exeter didn’t give up though, and the lead pinballed between the two sides until about two minutes to go.

Asked for an Italian mathematician, Klintworth negged with the decidedly not Italian Euclid, and Gower found use for his sideburns in sweeping up the mess. A fifteen point swing, notwithstanding the bonuses, which put the match out of Exeter’s reach.

Final Score: Warwick 165 - 150 Exeter

With such a high losing score it seems likely that Exeter will return for the play-off round, and congratulations to Warwick on reaching the second round for the third year running. And welcome to a new series of the University Challenge Review those of you who’ve been here before and those who’ve not. I’m gonna write a bit below thats not really about the show so you don’t have to read it if you don’t want to satiate my self-indulgence...

When I finished the last series (which I did, even if it was two months late), I didn’t know if I’d want to do another one. Its hard to find new things to say about something thats ostensibly the same every week, and I worried that what had once (hopefully) been esoteric and exciting because of its nicheness was becoming mundane, repetitive and even pathetic because of it. And maybe it is, but thats not the point of this bit.

For the first half of last year I wrote the reviews after work on a Tuesday evening in Malaysia, and it gave me a nice anchor to home, then in the second half I could barely make time to write anything with the mad rush to hand in assignments and study for exams. It seemed more like an annoying burden than anything else, though I would still enjoy the act of writing itself.

But having just finished uni, I don’t know where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing throughout this series. Okay, I know where I am (currently, at least), but I don’t know what I’ll be doing, so for the moment it seems like as good an idea as any to keep at it until I can’t keep keeping at it. So that’s what I’ll do. And thats the end of the bleeding hearts portion of this column. Thanks for sticking with me. 

[kosmicdream]

hey!!! i just read to the most recent update of ffak (my favorite webcomic ive ever read tbh) and i kinda wanna try making my own. did you have the whole story planned out before you started or is it an ongoing thing? also how did you make the website for it? thank you for making such a cool comic!

Thank you so much!! And let me try to figure out a way to answer this properly. My process is a bit complicated to explain because it is very organic. Its almost like I am never done writing it, because I am always letting it grow/stretch and explore as I think about ffak every day, and every night before sleeping I’ll try to brainstorm things I havent thought of. So spending that much mental energy on something, you never really get ‘done’ with writing a story. Even when i eventually finish ffak, im sure i will be still working on it (or things I would have wanted to do.)

However!! Before i started working on ffak, when it was just called HELP! i established many things narratively that I stuck to and have not changed about the story. So I think the process of this comic, in a simple way, could have been broken down like this in.. stages?

1) I laid down the basic framework of the world, such as the functions of king worms specifically, the aiguille family, helpers, several characters (some havent even appeared in the comic yet!), king leadman, as well as antony/rome’s narrative arc/dynamic. that way their character arc was already figured out before the comic started and I knew it would be the central ‘root’ of the story. I knew how i wanted Rome to be introduced, and how he would meet canary, not knowing the connection between canary and his brother. I had a rough idea, even from here, how their character arc would come to a point (and basically what sorts of things the story would likely eventually close on) I also knew the general setting was on moons and how the humans got there, and how advanced society was, and what the red lights “really" were and what they meant..i figured out what ‘vein’ was here.. ect.. many worldbuilding things!!!It might sound intimidating, but this process happened very quickly. I basically figured this out in the.. day? before i started working. I have had a lot of experience with roleplaying so i think that helps with me making quick decisions. I knew i had enough to work with that I didn’t feel intimidated to start actually drawing it out-- especially because i had the rome/antony thing already set down. 2) Then when I actually started to work, things started to develop very quickly. I knew basically all i needed to for Hekatons before i got to introduce knife (their origins, history, involvement in present day politics) and before ch6 i also wrote all of the “supporting cast” (at the time) which included dylan, fork/spoon/knife, paper/scissor/rock. So i ws able to write Thumb and Heel, and set up the overall dynamic of what the world was like in the present day. (also Spoon/Scissor’s connection.) Cash was actually written in the first batch of characters oops, but her design really became more detailed during this stage because of scissor. 3) then things got more complicated as i dug deeper into the past, and wanted to include crimson. So!! I fleshed out the origin and true history of this world. basically as soon as crimson appeared I had everything in place and felt comfortable enough to include crimson, who borrowed many things narratively from a character i roleplayed for years. Anyway, i figured out all of the deep past of the world and decided to draw it out since it was so interesting in ch 9/10. I think this was around in the 2nd chapter when i figured this out, but my memory is fuzzy. I know by the time i did the flash forward scene in ch2 i had decided many things and so all i had to do was get to them in the comic to cement it in. 4) I forget when exactly (maybe around in chapter 5 or 6) , but i decided to bring in a very old story i wrote in 2009 for good leadman’s origin story-- as i thought it would be cool to make good leadman the protagonist for this old comic i wanted to do, and that helped make the background for heel and thumb more “believable” to me because they were already symbolizing this old story i had written the entire thing of. Oh that’s something else to mention, because that world was part of a collection of stories- i was able to develop DMTIA that way because i already had this cast and just decided to merge the stories into the FFAK setting. I think when i did this, it pretty much was the final big thing to make me understand everything i needed to know about this world. All the story arcs felt pretty realized and I could see how the ending could go at this point.

I guess to summarize, is that i let things grow but also had things planned from the start and once i commit to an idea, it doesnt change. Even if it might appear somewhat frustrating to work with, i like to use them to make my next decision. sometimes that means i dont get to do all i want to do, but i still have a lot of flexibility in this setting like i wanted to have from the beginning.

Even now when i feel like pretty confident that I’ve explored every nook and cranny, I’ll decide to revisit a older storyline or facet of the world and strengthen or build on that. That’s why i ended up with so many fucking side characters because I’ll brainstorm for them for a day or two and suddenly have a lot of material i know wont even “technically” go into the story even though its there. (like, Spot for example was not meant to be so interesting, but i wrote a huge fucking story for him that obviously wont get really any attention.)

So.. its ongoing and it is also not ongoing and hasnt been for quite a long time now? (after two years of constant work it felt.. really complete and done in a lot of ways. we are now currently on year three, moving to year four!) I think the best thing to do is to keep in mind what kinds of methods for writing make you feel comfortable and is your natural brain-pace. I like working with an aspect of fluidity and room for growth and flexibility because i don’t like being boxed in or “outgrowing” my project too fast. So keeping that in mind, i designed ffak to be a comic where it could grow with me and change. that’s pretty much why i decided worms would be a great subject and theme to work with because they are characters that naturally, evolve and change based on what they eat and absorb. plus the themes in ffak just are so fun to work with i will never be bored of it. structuring a project with these things in mind for when i run into walls or feel unmotivated have kept me engaged. I think that is part of why i cannot let it go because I still feel really excited to write and contribute ideas to it.

However, Chapter 12 really feels like I’m settling back down to my original plans and taking my time and patience to communicating all the structured planning ive put into it. I’m not letting it grow the same way anymore because it doesnt need to. I feel comfortable with understanding its voice/style and pacing and im no longer recovering from the uhh.. shock of it existing? I promise that once you actually start making a comic, its a wholly different experience than just it being in your head. and it will sound, look, and feel different than what you thought it would be-- that in itself has influenced a lot of change in ffak because honestly at first i was not expecting to draw it so explicit. that was difficult to get used to but im happy to have embraced that aspect of my work.

So HMM.. I made a strong spine or foundational backbone in the beginning before i started, then fleshed it out as i was in the process of making it, and i always continue to leave room for it to grow. just not grow in EVERY aspect anymore. i also dont chop down branches, but i try to hone in on specific things to make them more clear. i think chopping stuff down and removing things is generally not the best to do because its easier to build up and work with what you have than make big retcons after youve already started or established. also the challenge of working with limitations makes you feel that needed bit of pressure to really commit to your work in the moment of making it and i feel like its helped make me more serious and confident about what i write about. I never feel lost on what to do because if I cover and figure out something, that’s how it is. I make it work regardless! 

everything is done with careful consciousness to the overall balance and product of the story, while also not suffocating it in a box of limitations of what it could be. i treat it like a living thing in my mind and heart and that means i work to have thoughtful conversations with it and myself about what its needs are, what my needs are, what i want to do with it and what it wants to be.. ect. its almost a spiritual thing really. i feel like its important to always reflect and engage with your art and art process to feel a stronger connection and purpose behind what you are deciding to do and what it means to you. i am probably repeating myself a little here but!!!!!! its worth saying!!!!!!!!! 

I also really think it adds to the interesting and fun “layers” to the story, as there has been different stages to its development and it brings in different feelings with each layer. But then the older or more ‘’foundational’’ ones pop in and they seem to give off a different atmosphere (antony and rome) vrs some of the newer additions (like jacket) who are more for shallow, fun decoration or an interesting potential to explore in the future. Like, Jacket is not a character that has a lot of foundational plot connected to him, but he’s an interesting development in terms of the potential of a worm and symbolizes that early-ffak-mindset of growth and experimentation. so i think it makes him a really unique and fun character because he embodies a lot of new and old aspects of ffak’s narrative and my journey with working on the comic.

I could go on and on, but I hope this sort of gives some insight to my process and how I write/work. because in a lot of ways, it isn’t linear. just like how my comic is! sometimes this makes ffak very disorienting for people to read, but if you keep in mind that ffak is very organic and personally tailored to my mannerisms  and with that in mind, it makes a lot more sense why it is how it is and the patterns in it become much more apparent. Anyway! thank you for reading and good luck working on your own stories! it can be challenging but i think it is absolutely worth the effort. 

Also i did not make the website, my good friend Tegan did. :3 i do not know anything about websites.

[keepingupwithlinmanuel]

Lin-Manuel Miranda: ‘Hamilton is an insane idea, but the story works’

“Helen Mirren was one of the first people to see Hamilton,” recalls the 37-year-old Miranda, his voice urgent, conspiratorial. “She saw it very early and I said, ‘If we’re lucky enough to go to London, are they going to be bothered by King George?’ And she said, ‘Nahhh! We love it when you take the piss!’”

Miranda cracks up. “So I’m not worried,” he goes on. “I’m excited.”

...

If Miranda is feeling any pressure about the transfer, he isn’t showing it. On the morning we meet, in the offices of theatrical producer Cameron Mackintosh in Bloomsbury, he bounces into the room, wearing a T-shirt, jeans and running shoes, all blue. The ponytail and goatee he had on stage in New York have been clipped and it has the effect of making him look two centuries younger. Miranda is a prolific tweeter and he has provided regular updates on the new production since arriving in the UK in late November. After the first run-through, he wrote: “London, gird your heart. This company is not playing around.” A couple of days earlier, he gushed: “This company is so fuhuuucking good.”

None of the cast is a household name: Jamael Westman, one of a pair of Alexander Hamiltons, graduated from Rada last year and this is just his fourth credit. “It’s a similar mix of vets and newcomers as we had in our original company on Broadway,” says Miranda, who has no plans to step into Hamilton’s blouse and breeches in this run. “I can’t wait for London audiences to get in front of this show. I’m curious how certain things will play: there’s a couple of New Jersey jokes and I’m like, ‘That’s going to be huge…’” Miranda rolls his eyes.

...

From the beginning, Hamilton has had a political agenda if you scratch the surface. The first time Miranda performed any material from the musical in public was in May 2009, when he was asked by the Obamas to participate in an evening celebrating “the American experience” at the White House. When the approach was made, the expectation was that Miranda would sing something from his debut musical, In the Heights. This was a semi-autobiographical tale of growing up on a multicultural block in New York that had won four Tony awards, best musical among them.

Instead, Miranda tried out “16 hot bars about Alexander Hamilton”. There’s YouTube evidence of the performance and it’s clear that Miranda, who’d never met the president before, is nervous; well, as nervous as Miranda ever gets, which is not especially. Still, in his introduction to the song, there’s more “ums” than usual and even a little stammering. When he explains the concept, people, including the Obamas, giggle, not sure if they should take him seriously.

“Yeah, it was really scary and it’s a little bit like showing the ultrasound at five weeks,” says Miranda. “I had a lot of people look at me like I was crazy for a very long time. I mean, you can kind of see the reaction in miniature at the White House. I state what I’m going to do and everyone just laughs at me. And I go, ‘You laugh but it’s true!’ Just trying to keep my cool, because I’m also performing in front of the leader of the free world for the first time in my life. And then you see people get sucked into the story. Then their heads start bobbing. And that’s been the story of Hamilton: it’s been an insane idea but the story works. The story is compelling, it’s a human one. And yeah, that’s that.”

For a piece of art that was “the musical of the Obama era”, according to the New Yorker, the Trump years were always going to present some challenges. The aftermath of the statement to Mike Pence was especially uncomfortable. “When the president sends a tweet he’s also sending trolls and bots your way,” says Miranda. “It is a way of targeting, so we had to deal with death threats for several weeks and we had to wait for that kerfuffle to blow over. So we lived through it. There was a bit of a pendulum swing, right; we were beloved by the Obama administration; we’re really not beloved by the current administration.”

Did Miranda consider putting “Highly overrated: Donald Trump” on the Hamilton poster? “Haha!” he replies. “There are certainly those who would wear that with a badge of pride, but I would not trade it for the stress of those weeks. These are just not normal times. We have a president who targets people and goes after them and that’s really without precedent and scary, but that’s where we are.”

Miranda, though, does not shy away from a fight, either. When Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico in September, killing at least 500 people and destroying the electrical grid, he was furious at Trump for his inaction. While the president quickly offered reassurance and funds to Texas and Florida after the natural disasters that affected those states, he was much quieter about Puerto Rico, which is an unincorporated US territory. Nearly three months on, a third of the island remains without power. Miranda’s response was to tweet Trump: “You’re going straight to hell.”

“What does that tell the people of Puerto Rico about the person who is supposedly in charge?” he asks. “Those are 3.5m American citizens. So that’s when the rhetoric is heartbreaking: you know relief could come with one signing of the pen and it’s just not. Because he doesn’t care.”

Miranda, who has raised $2.5m for the relief effort from a charity song, also recently announced that he would be taking a production of Hamilton to Puerto Rico in early 2019. He did a similar tour in 2010 with In the Heights and it remains one of his proudest achievements. “I find it hard to talk about it without tearing up,” he says and it’s true, he looks like he might cry. “Growing up, I’d get sent to Puerto Rico for a month a year where I was the kid with a fucked-up Spanish accent who couldn’t really speak it well enough to hang with kids my age. I was like the weird exchange kid. I loved Puerto Rico, but I never felt at home with it. Then to have In the Heights be embraced in English, the way I wrote it, it closed some hole in me that I didn’t know was open.”

These are manic, sometimes confounding times for Miranda. Hamilton took the best part of six years to write but now life seems to be happening in fast-forward. So far, he has only been accepting offers “that are just so bonkers that you’d kick yourself for ever if you didn’t jump at the chance to do them”. These have included a pivotal cameo in the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm and a six-month spell in London to shoot a lead role in Mary Poppins Returns, which will be released Christmas next year. The film is directed by Rob Marshall (Chicago) and stars Emily Blunt as the umbrella-wielding hero, as well as Meryl Streep, Colin Firth, Ben Whishaw and Emily Mortimer.

“Poppins was both incredibly hard work and sort of this joyous vacation,” says Miranda. “Because I had just been in Hamilton-mania in the States, it was starting to get to the point where I couldn’t ride the train without having a conversation about Hamilton. So the only sane response is to chop off all your hair and leave the country. I was really very anonymous here and that was a wonderful thing to reclaim, to ride the tube around and take my kid to Lady Di park. To sort of do normal things was wonderful, because it was getting weird. Like, famous-person weird.”

This is just the tip of it. The Weinstein Company had optioned the film rights to In the Heights, so Miranda is endeavouring to extricate himself from that. (“So monstrous,” he says. “I met Harvey several times. I knew he was never going to win a nice-guy competition, but I didn’t know about all of this other stuff.”) Miranda’s first child, Sebastian, was born two weeks before rehearsals for Hamilton started in 2014 and he revealed last week that his wife Vanessa Nadal, a corporate lawyer, is expecting their second. He would also like to start work on a new musical, but he probably just needs to lie in a pool to figure out what the subject is.

“You’re right,” he exclaims, “I should take more vacations, thank you! Yeah, that is the hardest lesson to take hold of: the good idea comes when you are walking your dog or in the shower or resting. And waking up from sleep. I don’t believe it’s an accident that on my first vacation from In the Heights, the best idea of my life shows up. So I have a couple of ideas, but I’m waiting to see which one grabs hold and doesn’t let go.”

Until then, Miranda will keep on doing what he’s done every day since Hamilton opened in New York in early 2015: field requests for tickets for the show. In London, it is sure not to be any different. Miranda made some good friends here when he was filming Mary Poppins Returns –Whishaw and the chef Yotam Ottolenghi among them – and he is excited for them to see the show. Otherwise, there’s only so much he can do. “People tweeting me, ‘I can’t believe I paid $2,000,’” he says. “I didn’t charge you $2,000! I don’t know why you paid that.”

What about the royal family? “Oh, I’ll give Prince Harry some engagement tickets, that would be an absolute treat,” Miranda smiles. “Obviously that would be an honour for us.” Let’s just hope he isn’t too offended by the portrayal of his great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather.

[youremyonlyhope]

Children of Earth: Day Two

AKA Lois is the most competent person to ever work with Torchwood.

OR: Torchwood somehow finds a new way to torture Jack.

OR: Deadpool 2. No spoilers, but Deadpool 2.

God why the Hub? Why the Hub? I loved the Hub. I miss the Hub. And I added this later on to my post for Day One when I remembered, but I’m gonna say it again here: WHAT HAPPENED TO JANET AND MYFANWY??? ARE THEY OK??? PLEASE TELL ME THEY SOMEHOW MADE IT OUT. These snipers all suck. How do you miss that many times? God I can’t even look at Frobisher and his family without thinking they only have a couple more days to live... Wow this show’s so messed up. I mean, a stolen ambulance is probably the worst get away vehicle if you don’t want to be followed. Andy my baby!! My girl Gwen’s so smart. Shooting the tires. Can’t these SWAT people search Rhiannon’s house without traumatizing her children?? Ok wait do teachers still take away phones like they did in 2009? Because these days, kids are just only on their phones and they take notes with them sometimes so like... teacher’s probably can’t do much. I got my phone taken away in 2009 just because I was trying to turn it off because I forgot to turn it off before school started. “The Prime Minister’s office has refused to speculate until more details are known.” That’s because the details show the government ordered the explosion. I love how snoopy my girl Lois is. Ok wait I paused and read what was written and it says “There are still some private acquisitions which Queen Victoria herself made that are unbeknownst to us.” meaning they’re leaving the door open for more Torchwood-like spin-offs. “As you know, Harkness is a difficult man to kill” UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY. “I’ve just put you on the frontline. That’s what the frontline’s for John. First to fall.” Well fuck you too, Mr. Prime Minister. I nearly did not notice the significance of her having a touchscreen phone in 2009. How much money does Alice makes? It’s not an iPhone, but still. There were not that many touchscreen phones in 2009. See, I know that in the comics, when Deadpool was chopped up in a certain way, I think hotdog style not hamburger (LOL Commander Up in Starship), it resulted in two Deadpools reforming from the parts instead of one. So in at least one comic universe there’s a second Deadpool running around. So it makes me wonder if Jack could reform into two Jacks... But I guess the whole fixed point in time thing probably only allows one Jack to exist. Or at least, one Jack to come out of the parts of Jack. Basically Jack’s immortality and invincibility isn’t like a starfish’s the way Deadpool’s is. “Does that mean whoever’s behind the bomb is behind the children thing? Like they wanted him out of the way or something?” My girl Lois. She’s right, the government is partially behind it. LOL Ianto’s just watching. He’s taken over for Jack since he cant stand on any roofs right now. “Shh... we’re probably bugged.” SOMEONE GIVE IANTO’S NEPHEW A JOB AT TORCHWOOD IN 10 YEARS. Ugh my poor baby Jack. Having to regrow himself. Ugh. Ughhhh yep this is the part that’s grossly gorey. Seeing his body as it’s growing back. Ew. I’d hate to be the person who had to make that. Ew he has to cuff the body to the wall. I love that this guard doesn’t care that Lois is peeking in anyway. Even though he just heard her get told to not go in. Johnny’s pretty great. That was such a smart way to cause a diversion. And I forgot to mention it earlier, but I loved him saying “We’re the only family he’s got.” when Rhiannon was upset over Ianto’s note. “He’d have been better off staying dead.” Oh believe me, Jack already knows that. Wow I made myself sad. “What kind of civil servants are you?” “Underappreciated ones.” Now that’s an understatement too. Yeah, Ianto, touching a random girl is not ok. Not even if you’re a civil servant and alien expert. I love that Frobisher wanted to check in on his daughters before talking to the Prime Minister. Wow. This makes everything painful. Remembering them saying his children will be the first ones picked. He loves his daughters more than anything. Oh god. God I love Lois. She’s a little innocent and trusting since she’s like “Why would the government do that?” but also suspicious and nosy since she saw the order to kill Jack in the first place, so she’s trusting Gwen. “Can we trust this guy?” “He’s our guy in the government. If we can’t, we really are in trouble.” OH GIRL. OOOOOH GWEN MY GIRL. YOU HAVE NO IDEA. “Show yourself! Face me like a man!” “I’m not a man” OOOOH I want to love her so much but why must she be evil and trying to kill my babies? I think I remember her becoming good at the end, but I don’t know. It’s been almost 5 years. “I’ve got a floor plan in my bag” GOD MY GIRL LOIS IS SO GOOD. “*Spewing off instructions and plans.* Sugar?” I LOVE HER SO MUCH. “When this is all over, and you want a job, come see me.” SERIOUSLY GIVE LOIS ALL THE MEDALS ALL THE JOBS EVERYTHING. I can’t remember if she survives or not. Also, they should have brought her back for season 4. Though, for all I know they did and I just never watched past episode 1 of that season so I don’t know. Dude, be thankful they didn’t close the coffin. I would have died of claustrophobia if I was put in the coffin tied up, and then they closed the lid. Just knowing I was trapped would be enough to kill me, not even lack of oxygen or starvation. Gwen and Rhys were nice enough to keep it open. Ok but also, why doesn’t he just sit up straight? Even with arms and legs bound, you can sit up. Come on dude, use your ab muscles. This guard’s a complete idiot. Also, you’d think they’d give the guards Gwen and Ianto’s pictures and say “Hey, if you see these people, don’t let them in.”  Ok, this guy thinks Gwen looks familiar, so they did send the pictures, these guards are all just dumb. Wow. At first I was like “LOL body snatchers. What a cute code word for them.” and then just now my brain goes “Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It’s an alien joke.” and I feel dumb. Oh Rhys being overprotective. I love the way Gwen signals Rhys to shut up after the guard goes “You’re a couple, aren’t you?” The little wave of the chattering hand. I love her. Oh poor Rupesh. Why did you pick the wrong side? Yeah, Gwen should have done the clicky thing out of view of that last camera. Oh good old Ianto. I mean. A giant explosion is one way to ensure they don’t follow you. Oh how I love Jack’s dramatic resurrection gasps. Also all I can think about is how John Barrowman had to wear sanitary pads on his feet to protect them from the rocks while filming. “I’d hold onto your nose, Bridget. Though come to think of it, you’ve been doing that for years.” Ooooooh. I like Dekker. I think I said it last episode, but I like him. The framing of each of them standing in line with one of the panels. Nice. “Why are they coming to Britain?” “Why is that, Mr. Frobisher?” I love Dekker. Dekker’s creepy but in kind of a good way. He seems... intrigued by aliens... but also is the only one who seems to realize how bad all of this is. Saying it could be a slaughterhouse, hinting at the fact he hated when they came the first time around, and of course him tracking the 456 frequency for 40 years in the first place. He’s like “Oh, I’ll do what they say, but this is all your faults. I’ve been warning you forever. I’ll do it. But I’m not gonna do it quietly.”

****Deadpool 2 SPOILERS****

Not a major spoiler. Happens in the first like... 10 minutes. The fact that both Deadpool and Jack end up blown up and having their bits and pieces put into a body bag to reform is hilarious to me.

****SPOILERS ARE DONE****

Yeah so I love Lois. This episode is so great if only for the scene where Lois shows us how awesome she is. It’s a great episode in general, but I LOVE that scene. So much.

Oh god the promo. “John Frobisher’s a good man.” Literally that sentence just hurts my heart no matter who says it.

And it’s crazy that literally the alien’s don’t show up until halfway through the season yet it’s still so good.

[aion-rsa]

Did Star Trek: Discovery’s Georgiou Just Create a New Timeline?

https://ift.tt/2K92nBx

This Star Trek: Discovery article contains spoilers for Season 3, Episode 9.

The biggest twist from Star Trek: Discovery Season 1 has returned for Season 3. After living in the Prime Universe since the end of Season 1, Phillipa Georgiou, former Terran Emperor in the Mirror Universe, has been confronted with the very real prospect that she might need to go back to where she came from in order to stay alive.

But what’s really going on? In “Terra Firma, Part 1,” Discovery has taken a very unexpected turn, seemingly in the middle of several other storylines, to fully tackle the mystery of fixing Georgiou’s “problem.” And that means that we’re now in a position where we have to unpack her Mirror Universe 2250s timeline to really get a sense of what the hell is going on. Here’s a rundown of Georgiou’s Mirror Universe timeline, as we understood it in Season 1 of Discovery, and what has fundamentally changed in Season 3.

Although the title should have been a dead giveaway, “Terra Firma, Part 1” takes a shocking blind turn back into the Mirror Universe, set just before the timeline as Discovery Season 1. After the A.I. of the USS Discovery’s computer advises the ship to take Georgiou to a planet in the Gamma Quadrant, Burnham and Georgiou meet a mysterious man named Carl, who encourages Georgiou to step through a Narnia-style portal that could double for that doorway you’ve seen in the intro to The Twilight Zone.

The slightly surreal exchange with Carl poses a lot of questions: Is he a Q? A member of the Caretaker’s species from Voyager? Where in the Gamma Quadrant are they? Could he be one of the Wormhole Aliens, better known as “the Prophets” from Deep Space Nine? None of these questions are answered because, before we can really process Carl and the Narnia doorway, Georgiou steps through and is suddenly back in the Mirror Universe. 

When is this taking place?

Seemingly, Georgiou has not only traveled back to the Mirror Universe but also back in time to events that occurred offscreen well before Discovery Season 1. At this point in the Mirror timeline, the ISS Discovery hasn’t exchanged places with the USS Discovery, and it seems, Mirror Lorca hasn’t even left the Mirror Universe yet at all. Instead, we’re at a point somewhere in the Mirror version of 2255 and a time when Georgiou’s new flagship, the ISS Charon, is about to be christened.

How do we know it’s 2255? In Discovery Season 1, in the episode “What’s Past is Prologue,” Lorca tells his followers that they’ve endured “one year and 212 days of torture.” Because that episode takes place in roughly 2257, it seems likely that his coup against Georgiou and his subsequent accidental transposition of the Prime Universe happened roughly two years before that. In the Prime Universe, in 2256, Lorca and his ship the USS Buran was destroyed, and, by that time, Mirror Lorca had replaced Prime Lorca. But, Georgiou has gone back in time before all of that happens. In the Mirror Universe, Lorca doesn’t go on the run until after his coup is discovered, which means, right now, there’s not even the right setting for him to trade places with this counterpart.

So, could we see Prime Lorca enter the Mirror Universe?

Assuming Mirror Lorca goes on the run, encounters an iron storm, and swaps places with Prime Lorca, sure. It’s possible. But, it also seems pretty unlikely, mostly because the events set into motion by Georgiou returning to the past have already significantly altered the way history played out before. In “What’s Past is Prologue,” Lorca explains to Mirror Stamets exactly how he entered the Prime Universe, basically on accident. That exact same accident or a similar accident has to happen in order for Prime Lorca to swap places with Mirror Lorca “again.” And, as mentioned before, Georgiou has popped back into a point in history way before that happened anyway. 

Wait. Didn’t Mirror Stamets die a different way before?

Correct! In “What’s Past is Prologue,” Mirror Lorca had Mirror Stamets executed. But, now, in “Terra Firma, Part 1,” Georgiou kills Stamets before he can betray her to Lorca. This is nuts on a few levels. First, in the original Mirror Timeline, Stamets ended up double-crossing Lorca, and tried to remain loyal to Georgiou; this, to some degree, is why he was killed. This is also relevant because, in Season 1, Mirror Stamets’ experiments with the Mycelial Network were partially responsible for helping Prime Stamets understand the network. The Charon was the central hub of Mirror Stamets’ experiments, but now that he’s been killed before that can happen, it stands to reason his research has been halted, too.

Okay, so has Georgiou created the Mirror-Mirror Universe?

Because Georgiou has killed Mirror Stamets, she’s already created a new timeline. If she succeeds in keeping Mirror Burnham on her side, and preventing Lorca’s coup before it begins, then, in theory, everything is now happening in a new timeline, a new universe. This time, she remains Emperor of the Mirror Universe, and that timeline goes in a very different direction. 

But, what does that mean for the original Prime Timeline?

This is where it gets even dicier. If Georgiou prevents Lorca’s coup, she effectively prevents Season 1 of Discovery from happening. If Lorca doesn’t go into the Prime Universe, then he never recruits Michael Burnham, she never becomes roommates with Tilly, Tyler never joins the crew, Stamets, and Burnham never figure out how to use the Spore Drive, the Red Angel thing doesn’t happen, and all of sentient life (in the Prime Universe at least) will get destroyed by Control. Assuming Georgiou really is back in time, then it feels like she’s creating a new timeline/universe, or perhaps, more accurately, she’s creating two.

The Kelvin Universe from the reboot films is a good model to help with this headache

Assuming Georgiou is really back in 2255 of the Mirror Universe, that doesn’t mean that there isn’t still a version of the Mirror Universe that still played out the same way as before. It also follows that everything in the Prime Universe did happen the way it did before, otherwise, Georgiou couldn’t even be in this situation, with these memories at all. When Nero destroyed the Kelvin in Star Trek 2009, he didn’t erase the Prime Universe in which Kirk’s dad lived, he just created a new timeline. Ditto for Georgiou. So yes, it seems like she’s created the Mirror-Mirror Universe. (You know, like the TOS title “Mirror, Mirror.”)

On top of creating a new Mirror Universe, Georgiou has also, probably, created an Anti-DISCO Prime Universe. Because if Prime Lorca and Mirror Lorca never swap places, then that version of the Prime Universe, again, would eventually, be totally destroyed by Control, probably. That is, assuming Control even rose to power at all. The Klingon War would probably be won by the Klingons in this new Anti-DISCO Prime Universe if the Prime events of Discovery Season 1 don’t happen the way they did before. One way to look at this is that Lorca and Georgiou are kind of like Donna Noble in that Doctor Who episode “Turn Left.” But, instead of Donna turning left in a car, Georgiou stabbed Stamets in the neck.

Is this actually happening? Or is this a “dream”? (Or a low-rent Nexus?)

It seems like this trip to the Mirror Universe is legit. However, there is one little question that doesn’t quite have an answer yet. If Georgiou was sent back to the Mirror Universe, at this specific time, what happened to her “original” self? The Georgiou we see here has the same bracelet that Culber gave her from the Prime Universe version of 3188. She has the memories of everything she’s done and everything that’s happened in both universes since she left. Presumably, if she’s “literally” the same person she was in when she walked through Carl’s doorway, she’s like two years older, maybe a little more. What happened to the two-years-younger Georgiou from Mirror 2255? Did she swap places and end-up on the snow planet with Michael Burnham? 

In the Star Trek: Voyager episode “Relativity,” we learned about a way in which a time-traveling future Starfleet dealt with this problem: Basically, they forced conflicting versions of the same person into a process called “temporal integration.” This means, in theory, Mirror Georgiou from the “present” could have been “reintegrated” with Mirror Georgiou from the past. If Carl’s magic doorway can send her back at all, then it seems like it could also “reintegrate” her with her past self, too.

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The other option is that this method of time travel is a loosey-goosey style of time travel kind of like the Nexus from Star Trek Generations. In that movie, Picard was able to return to the exact point in time he needed to, complete with his memories of how it had gone the first time. Nobody worried about what happened to the “first” Picard who got his ass beat by Soran, because Nexus Picard was magically back, and he had Nexus Captain Kirk with him to throw some extra punches.

Arguably, Picard and Kirk created an alternate universe by using the Nexus as a cheap and dirty time travel ride to prevent the destruction of the Verdian star. Also arguably, there’s another timeline that went along in which Soran got back in the Nexus, Picard celebrated fake Christmas forever, and Kirk chopped wood for the rest of his life. That timeline would have resulted in the Enterprise-D crew having all died, but when you think about the stakes of Discovery Season 2, and what this new timeline change could do, that seems oddly like small potatoes. 

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If Georgiou did ride a Nexus-style time machine, then we might be encouraged in “Terra Firma, Part 2” to think slightly less about the various alternate-universe implications.  But, then again, if Discovery producer — and Trek 2009 co-writer – Alex Kurtzman knows how to do anything, it’s creating a convincing reboot. Georgiou’s trip to the Mirror Universe might be another reboot, only this time, it’s not the sunny optimistic universe of Trek that’s getting rebooted, it’s the dark and evil one in which, somewhere, Ethan Peck’s Spock is walking around with an evil goatee.  Star Trek: Discovery Season 3 has four more episodes left before the finale.

The post Did Star Trek: Discovery’s Georgiou Just Create a New Timeline? appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/341sBg7

[ileolai]

I’m a bit nervous about posting this, because it’s a big nerdy splurge about Doctor Who, and why it is so very important to me, and there is quite personal stuff in it that I have never posted publicly, but. It’s a little over a day out from the finale, and I can’t not talk about something that totally consumed me for seven years.

When I say personal stuff, I mean stuff like suicidal ideation and mental illness, so there’s a content warning.

I wish Steven Moffat, and everyone else who has poured their lovely hearts into making this show, could know what it has done for me.

I've found it somewhat difficult to pinpoint what my favourite episode of Moffat era Who should be. It puzzled me for quite a while. Not because there are no tremendously stellar episodes that stand above all the rest -- there are quite a few of those to pick over. In terms of actual writing skill, narrative cohesion, magnificent direction and all that pretentious stuff, it would have to be Heaven Sent. I could watch that episode over and over again until the heat death of the Universe. 

But I think my actual favourite episode, the one nearest and dearest to my little anarchist care bear heart, has to be The Beast Below. The one with the whale that was technically more up in space than it was below. I realize fandom consensus does not consider it the pinnacle of Moffat’s storytelling, but I don’t care. The ideas in that episode, and it is so full of lovely ideas, are what made me sit up and start paying attention to the potential this show had. 

Specifically, what got me was what it said about child abuse and neglect as an essential cog in the machine of fascism, or something. Which I had never, in my whole entire life, seen so earnestly articulated on TV before-- in a children’s television show-- with a goddamn whale. I can pinpoint that as the exact moment this show snatched me and hurled me, screaming, into fandom.

[Later, A Christmas Carol would draw big red underlines and exclamation points all around these ideas... that's my other favourite episode. But The Beast Below did it first and hooked me.] 

There’s more to it besides that, though. This is the deeply personal emotional context stuff.

So, here is something you may or may not know about the nerd creature that is me. I was quite homeless at the time The Beast Below aired. And I had nothing -- literally nothing, you see. I was in a totally unfamiliar city in a fairly unfamiliar country, post-psychotic break, post-marriage-engagement breakdown, and I was more alone than I'd ever been -- and I'd been your standard lonely friendless geek my whole life, being Autistic, and what have you. I had just escaped an incredibly abusive, toxic group of people upon realization they were not so much a group of friends, but a cult. Yes, an actual cult! I was in one of those. I was also very, very ill with an immune disorder. And the only member of my family who ever accepted me, the only one actually still talking to me after I gave my narcissistic rage monster mother the finger, had just died of cancer.  This had all occurred across the space of, oh... one year? Almost entirely within 2009, leading into 2010. I was a wreck. And if you piled all this nonsense on a fictional character all at once, I'd probably say you were being gratuitous and change the channel. I was too miserable to even know how miserable I was-- just sort of wandering around in a dissociated haze, surviving entirely by the instincts of my autonomic nervous system. A good friend of mine described it to me later as ''you were sort of frozen'', and she was right. So. I downloaded the space whale episode over a wi-fi connection, illegally, on an ancient computer, in a library [haha how appropriate is that?] because I quite liked all the other Doctor Whos I had seen before, and this new writer fella had done Press Gang, a fond highlight of my otherwise wretched childhood. 

I watched Amy Pond and the Doctor cavorting around dystopian space Britain, having casual conversations about the nature of fascism, in a show marketed to 10 year olds. My sad little eyes pressed right up to the computer screen, irradiating my retinas, and I whispered: ''I've waited 20 years for My Show, and someone finally wrote it. It even has a mad ginger immigrant in it, and she's me. The Universe made this just for me.''

It also had a whale, and the whale was in space. 

And that is how I was propelled into my seven year character arc, my precious nerds. Because this show, from series 5 onwards, has done more for me than anything else on the planet. And I don't care how ridiculous it sounds to attribute my self-actualization to a goofy TV show about loveable alien miscreants saving space whales, because it's true. It took a while, but I learned what I actually value and what actually properly matters to me through this show. Or rather, I re-learned it, because I'd become so lost chasing approval and moulding myself to other people's perceptions to withstand their abuse, I didn't know what I was anymore. 

This show, and this goddamn fandom, helped me pull all the chopped up little bits of me back together more than any therapy or self-help nonsense I had tried. I went back to university and got serious about doing actual work, in part, because ''we're all just stories in the end... make it a good one.'' kept looping in my brain. It made me determined that my life could never be summed up with a single sentence like: ''He was sad and boring, and he wasted away in his apartment -- achieving nothing, leaving no trace''. 

[I still don’t get out much, to be honest. But I’m trying. At the very least, my epic marathon through 500 wildly divergent university degrees says something, yes? Maybe I can set the official record for ‘’the world’s most reluctant to graduate student’’.] 

Anyway. This show, this fandom... gave me so much. It gave me my voice as a creator of things, as a writer, and an analyzer, and it gave me people like me, real and fictional, people I didn’t even know existed anywhere. 

And you know…. this is heavy stuff again-- but it honestly gave me the motivation to get through to another weekend sometimes, when I was apathetic enough and in enough physical pain to contemplate not doing that. It really did. I didn't want to miss an episode of Doctor bloody Who, arthritis and schizophrenia and poverty be damned, and that kept me here. There were points, where one of the few things that restrained me from taking a decisive dose of Oxycontin, was River Song's storyline. I'm serious. And as shameful as that probably is, it's still better than being dead, and not getting to watch Doctor Who anymore. 

Cuz Doctor Who had a whale in it, right? A great big pink whale filled with benevolent intentions, and it was in space, and everybody hugged at the end, on top of the whale, after overthrowing the government! Moffat Who came out of the gate telling ten year olds ‘’OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT’’! I needed that with all my aching nerd heart. The Universe made it for me.

And then they put queer characters in it, and mentally ill characters, and abuse survivors, like me, and it valued them, and it valued children. And then there was River Song, and hugs, and self acceptance, and found families, and sparkles all around, and Bill Potts. And a big Jungian tapestry of meta and mythology. Just for me. There was nothing else on TV like it.

So now here we are, the eve of the final episode of series 10, which I have slobbered and fawned over almost as much as series 5, the one that grabbed me. And... I’m kind of terrified, to be honest. Because all the connections I made here, are so tied up in this show, and talking about this show, and picking apart this specific era of the show... I’m afraid I won't have anything to talk about anymore? and I'll drift apart from my friends, and…. never have something quite like this lovely little hive of internet debauchery and meta and space whales ever again. 

That actually scares me so much. Some of you have been here nearly a whole seven years, longer than almost anyone else in my life, apart from my husband, and I am grateful the vast and mysterious machinations of the Universe dumped us all together in the seething hell-pit of fandom. Those of you who have not yet run screaming into the night from my 957 daily posts about Doctor Who... you don't know how much you have helped me, and brighten my day, just by existing.

Yes, even Proton, who is old, and frequently incorrect, and a cyborg. And Elisi, who speaks utter nonsense that confuses my head. Really. I know my primary method of interacting with people is emphatically, and tactlessly, listing every single way they are wrong about things, but I do occassionally have actual emotions like ‘’appreciation’’. 

Do not worry, though. This audaciously out-of-character display of sincerity will now be deleted from your memory. 

Gone? Good. 

So it's been seven wonderful transformative years for me, and the Doctor Who they made just for lil gay anarchist crazy pants care-bear me is ending forever soon. I mean... there will always be Doctor Who, and it will always be Doctor Who, of course. It will be there at the heat death of the Universe, while I’m still salivating over the utter perfection of Heaven Sent. And a sentient gas cloud in a jar will be running it, or something-- because the show has gained its own level of quasi-sentience, furiously transcended all sensible laws of television, and refuses to die.

But the Moffat era came into my life right when I needed it, and it changed me, and I can’t imagine any other era can be that personal to me. It won’t be my Doctor Who anymore. 

Steven Moffat doesn’t know I exist, and yet, has tormented my televisual experiences since I could barely even comprehend television. I have him to thank for two glorious book-ends to my childhood and adolescence: Press Gang, and Doctor Who. Thank you so much, Moffat, you scheming Scottish bastard. Thank you for everything. 

I don’t think I would be the sort of person I am now without this damn show, it’s fandom, and its unapologetic, space whale flavoured idealism. I honestly just wouldn’t be.

[xwing-baby]

Mr Darcy (Mick x Reader)

Mick Davies x Reader

Characters: Mick Davies, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Arthur Ketch

Word Count: 6728(sorry not sorry) 

Warnings: Angst, canon violence, mention and slight description of injury to reader and car accident

A/N: Hey y’all sorry I haven’t been around much I’ve been very busy with exams but now I only have one left so I’m back. If y’all have an requests for something you’d like please hit  me up! xox

MASTERLIST

"Wait… you're…"

"Yep! Y/n, nice to meet you,"

"Mick, Mick Davis,"

"It's so nice to hear another British accent again!" I laughed as I shook his hand, "Sounds so strange now, where you from?"

"London," Mick said with a smile, "Southend,"

"Ah, cool, my mum is from Lewisham," I said. Mick smiled and nodded, "I grew in Surrey, moved to Kansas back in 2009,"

"That'll explain the twang then,"

"Hm yeah, hanging ‘round with these idiots all day does that to a girl I'm afraid," I laughed, playfully nudging Sam and Dean. They laughed and rolled their eyes.

"Alright, you two can go have tea and crumpets in a bit but we've got hunt to go to?"

"Yeah, of course," Mick walked over to his desk and grabbed a file from the cabinet, "Three dead in Dallas, two hearts missing and one throat missing"

"Hearts and throat?" Sam asked as he took the file. Mick nodded.

"Strange isn't it? Now, usually, you would never see two monsters teaming up but-"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures," I continued scanning over the file, over Sam's shoulder.

"A vamp and a werewolf teaming up? So what you've driven so many monsters out they've decided to help each other now?" Dean said grumpily, crossing his arms in defiance. He didn't want to help, no matter how cool the case sounded. Come on, a vamp and a werewolf team up must be as good as it sounds.

"So it seems," Mick shrugged.

"So let's go then, can't waste time!" I jumped back and clapped my hands excitedly.

"Actually there's one more thing," Mick said, seemingly apprehensive.

"What?" Sam asked, looking up from the file.

"I've got to come with you," 

Dean groaned and rolled his eyes. I elbowed him for being so rude which made him yelp and scowl at me.

"That's fine, Mick," I said sharply glaring at the eldest Winchester, "You can ride with me,"

Dean sighed again and walked out the door, grumbling to himself about something or other. Sam quickly followed, giving an apologetic smile to me and Mick.

"We should probably follow them, they're not going to wait around," I chuckled, Mick nodded and followed me out the door. "Don't take what Dean says to heart. He's just… strong on his morals. He doesn't necessarily hate you in particular-"

"Just the people I work for and what I stand for?"

"Exactly!"

--

The plan was fairly simple. Break into the house, kill the werewolf call the vampire on the werewolf's phone and wait for them to turn up and the kill them. Sorted. Shouldn't be messy, shouldn't be difficult in any way.

Annoyingly, Mick had already done the background information on the duo of monsters. We knew where they are, who they were and all we had to do was kill them. Sure, it took most of the fun out of the chase but it'd been so long since I'd killed something I was itching to go.

It was a two-hour drive to Dallas. Sam and Dean went in the Impala and Mick and I went in my car. It was a little at first but we soon fell into comfortable casual conversation.

"And you don't even understand how much I miss drinking proper tea!" I exclaimed. Mick laughed and nodded in agreement. "You know, I ordered some at a diner the other day and they brought me sweet tea. It's just cold tea with a crap tonne of sugar in! That is not tea!"

"A disgrace to our great nation!" Mick laughed.

"Absolutely!"

"You know, it is a shame you moved here so young. I think you'd be a great member of the men letters,"

My smile dropped and I sighed annoyed, "Yeah, I doubt that,"

"Why not?" Mick asked, "You're smart, quick and an impressive hunter,"

"I'm a hunter. Not a book worm," I snapped, "look, I don't want to talk about this. I understand you're only trying to help but I'm better on my own. Away from people,"

The Men of Letters was a sensitive subject for me. I knew about their antics way before they arrived in the US. Half of the reason my Mom had moved to over here was to get away from them. For a while, I forgot about them. Forgot about what had happened… but of course that all got brought back into the sun when Mick, Ketch and the many others arrived.

"But you're with the Winchesters do-"

"They're different," I snapped, now getting angry at him, "Can we please change the subject, Mick!"

"Um… yeah sure, sorry?"

"Just forget about it," I muttered, "How much further?"

"50 miles," Mick confirmed, glancing at the GPS on his phone.

"Great,"

By the time we arrived at the house, Sam and Dean were already there. The Impala was parked in the driveway, the front doors were open still and the door to the house was wide open. Something had happened. I parked my car next to the Impala and jumped out, grabbed my machete and a gun then raced into the house with Mick hot on my heels.

A loud gunshot resonated through the house. They were upstairs. I ran to the back of the house, where the kitchen was, to check everything was empty down here. It wasn't, a woman was facing away from the door, stuffing something into a bag but not seeming panicked. I motioned for Mick to check in the next room, which he did. He came back a minute later shaking his head, no one was there.

A loud thud came from upstairs then a knocking sound from the other side of the wall where I was stood. The lady turned around and walked towards us. I quickly hid back into the shadows. I heard a door open.

"Remi, what I said be quiet," The woman said.

"Mommy I'm scared," A little voice said, "When are we leaving?"

"In a second baby, just go back into your room okay?"

Mick stepped back for a second but stepped into a pile of wood logs, making them crash on the floor. Mick looked panicked and froze. The door slammed and I knew we were done for. Without really thinking I jumped out in front of the woman. Her teeth were replaced with fangs and she growled. Found the vampire!

I leapt for the vampire as she slammed the door shut. However, she was quick and shoved me away before I could get to her. Surprisingly strong, she knocked me on my ass making me slide across the linoleum floor until I crashed into the wall. She picked up a knife and snarled.

I jumped up and lunged for her again, slashing her arm with my machete. I quickly looked around in the seconds that the vampire recoiled and Mick was nowhere to be seen. I was about to wonder where he was but the vampire was back. She went to stab me while I was stood still but I moved just in time, she fell forward and I caught her arm, spinning her arm back and bringing her back to my chest I yanked the knife from her hand and threw it across the room, the metal clattering against the floor. I shoved her off me and onto the ground. I picked my machete back up and smirked triumphantly as the vampire cowered and backed into the corner. I couldn't help but smile a little bit, my god had I missed this power. I followed her backwards, pushing her closer and closer to the wall. I had her cornered.

"Do it," She snarled, "Just get this over with, don't showboat you pig,"

"Oh, I can showboat as much as I want, bitch," I pointed at her with the tip of my machete. "Because I'm the one was the knife, have fun in purgatory," I pushed the machete into her throat, blood poured out instantly. The vampire screamed and fell to the floor, dead. I pulled out the machete and swiftly chopped off her head, just to make sure.

"Vamp done," I smiled, satisfied, as I wiped the blood off my face. Sam and Dean walked down the stairs covered in a lot less blood but a lot more dust.

"Werewolf sorted," Dean replied.

"Where's Mick?" Sam asked. I frowned and peered back around the corner to the main corridor of the house- where I'd just come from. He was just there! Suddenly a loud cry and a thud came from the basement.

"Son of a bitch," Dean cursed. Quickly we ran down the corridor to the kitchen where the door to the basement was.

The door was open, the light was on but no more sound came from down there. I pulled my flashlight from my coat pocket and balanced my gun on top. I went first, then Dean, then Sam. Together, we crept down the wooden stairs into the basement.

At the bottom, there was another corridor. This house was huge! Two doors to the left and two doors to the right. All closed and all quiet behind. Silently, I motioned for us to split up. Sam and Dean went left and I went right. The first doors were locked but the last one wasn't. I pushed it open slowly revealing a small room with only one window in the far corner that was so covered in spider web and dirt that it barely let a sliver of light in. Two people stood in the centre of the room, one was a child, Remi I guessed, and the other was Mick... wait!

"Mick! No!" I exclaimed quickly running and sliding in front of the vampire child. He whimpered and shuffled backwards against the wall. "Mick you don't have to do this…" I said, slowly moving my hands up and on top of Mick's gun trying to push it down.

"He's a monster," Mick stammered. He trying to sound sure of himself but failing miserably.

"I know, but that doesn't mean he has to die. He's just a kid!"

"The code-"

"Screw the code! Go by your own code!"

"Put the gun down Mick," Sam's voice echoed through the empty room. Mick turned around, raising his shaking gun at Sam and Dean. He was scared, scared of himself, what would happen if he didn't kill the child and what would happen if he did. He was conflicted, his own mind was confused and running a million miles an hour in every direction.

"You don't have to do this," I repeated calmly.

"Please," The little boy whimpered behind me, sniffling and quietly sobbing. He was so scared.

"I'm sorry," Mick quickly raised his gun back and before any of us could do anything to shot exploded from the gun and pieced the little boy's, heart. He made no sound, just a small thud as he hit the floor.

I felt sick. I dropped my gun on the ground and stormed out, scuffing past Mick as I went- knocking him over. Sam and Dean followed soon after, none of us saying a word. Angry, disappointed and disgusted.

I drove back to the bunker with Sam and Dean. I didn't care about my car and I definitely didn't want to drive in it if meant I had to drive with Mick.

I thought he was different. I thought he was different. But no, I was wrong. He was a cold, senseless asshole like the rest of them.

--

It was getting late and thanks to the long drive and surprisingly exhausting hunt we were all too tired to want to drive all the back to Lebanon so Dean stopped off at a motel just outside of town. It was fairly nice actually, mainly due to the fact that we’d stolen a Men of Letters credit card so could get away with a bit of luxury. While Sam and Dean went to find us a room, I headed straight to the bar. Lord knows I needed a drink… or ten.

The bar was fairly busy but not crowded. An old juke box sat in the corner playing some old songs I’d never heard before. A group of bearded men sat in the back of the bar, giving me hungry stares as soon as I walked in. Another group of both girls and guys were sat at the bar, chatting away happily while a young brunette behind the bar got their drinks. She was so young she must only just be 21, possibly younger!

Never the less I ordered some top shelf whiskey, sticking it on the credit card, and sat in the corner trying to calm my angered nerves down. I looked up as the bell on the door rang and saw Mick, drenched in rain walk in. I hid behind the guy next to me and to my luck he didn’t notice.

Mick went and sat at one of the only empty tables alone and was joined by a few of the younger people in the bar a few minutes later. A watched them and my jealousy grew and grew as a pretty blonde spoke to Mick, standing way too close with her hand twiddling the ends of his hair. Just when I thought I was going to snap Sam and Dean entered.

The brothers spotted me instantly and walked over, smiling happily. I bought them some of the whiskey I was having and we went over to a booth.

“Damn this is good,” Dean exclaimed.

“Should be seeing as it’s top shelf,” I laughed as I sat next to him.

For the hours we talked and drank. Two turned into five which turned into eight- the joys of not paying with a stolen credit card! I was getting pretty drunk and the Winchesters weren’t far behind. Throughout the night, I kept an eye Mick and as you might think was a very bad idea. I was insanely jealous but also angry with myself for letting feelings take over so strongly. That plus the alcohol was slowly making me a bit of emotional mess. Currently I was at the angry stage but it wouldn’t be long before I cried.

“Ladies love accents,” Dean laughed as he looked over to Mick who now had three girls fawning over him.

“Hm yeah totally,” I grumbled looking back down into the amber liquid in my glass.

“Someone sounds a bit jealous!” Dean sang teasingly nudging me, laughing away to myself. I glared at him and shifted over in the booth away from him. “Aw don’t be like that I’m just teasing,”

“We all know you’ve had the hots for Mick since you met him! You never let us in your car but you let him straight away,”

“I just do let you two in my car because she doesn’t deserve your messy asses in her,” I corrected him, “And I definitely do not like Mick, you know my history with those dicks. Why would I like someone like him?” I spat with disgust as my eye found the Brit across the room again.

“Just saying hun, even if you don’t like him, he likes you,” Sam giggled, obviously drunk now.

“Well I- I,” I stumbled over my words as I tried to think of some comeback to that. Mick liked me? Holy crap! “You’re an idiot,”

“Wow, one of your best there L/n!” Dean cackled with laughter joining Sam’s loud laughter. Drunk Winchester’s were always so giggly but I couldn’t help and join in with them.  

We carried on having a good time, laughing and chatting away but then Sam and Dean got distracted by some girls in very short skirts asking for a game of pool, leaving me alone in the booth by myself. I yawned and looked at the clock on the wall realising it was almost two am. I was tired!

I got up, left the barman the credit card and waved goodbye to the Winchesters who barely even registered me, then went back to one of the rooms. Mick was nowhere to be seen.

I lay in bed still completely awake. The room was swaying slightly as the alcohol swam through my body. I was happily tipsy, and the happy feeling was very welcoming in my emotionally and physically drained body.

I was angry with Mick. I was angry at him for killing that child, I was angry at him for flirting with those girls, I was angry with myself for feeling like this over a guy- a men of letters member no more. I was meant to hate them, I did hate them but Mick was different. I could tell he was different, he listened, he wasn't patronising, and he wasn't like them. Sure, I'd only met a few of the M.o.L. but those experiences were less than good- only reinforcing my previous ideas of the bastards.

The door clicked open and I stayed still. I knew it was Mick but I still wanted him to feel bad for what he'd done. Mick stumbled around the room for a minute then flicked on the light.

"Y/n?" He said. I didn't reply. I just turned over in my bed so I was no longer facing him. "I know you're awake, I'm not stupid,"

"Go away,"

"I'm sorry about the kid Y/n but it had to be done," Mick gave an exasperated sigh when I didn't reply again. "Fine, be like that I'm taking a shower,"

I still didn't move and a few seconds later I heard the shower turn on. I sighed and sat up.

I lifted my arms up to take off my shirt ready for bed but I was not careful enough and yelped in pain as I accidentally pulled the stitches in my back, out. I got a nasty cut from a piece of metal when I got into a bad crash in my car- three weeks ago. A drunk driver smashed into the side of my car while I was asleep in it on the side of the road. I was very lucky to make it out alive. I got cut by my door smashing into me. Luckily it missed anything important- escaping with that cut and a mild concussion.

The cut was deep but the hospital cleaned and stitched it and I was good to go. Unfortunately, I was always pulling the stitches, I'd had Sam re-do them twice in the five days I'd been with the Winchesters. I would do it on my own but it was in an awkward position from my armpit, across my shoulder blade and down to my hip.

"Mick?" I called, "Mick!"

Mick quickly opened the bathroom door, looked over at me, worried, and quickly looked away- realising I was topless.

"Oh shit, sorry I-"

"Oh calm down, don't act like you've never seen a topless woman!" I laughed as I pulled the covers up a little bit over my exposed chest. "I need your help,"

"Um, I'm not s-sure if I-. " He stammered, still looking at the opposite wall.

"Mick, I've ripped the stitches on my back I'm not asking you to fuck me!"

Mick turned to face me now, blushing in embarrassment. "Oh right, sorry,"

"So, you gonna help before I get some infection from this nasty-ass bed?" I laughed. "There's some stuff in my bag under the-"

Mick walked over to my bag, unzipped it and rooted around for a second before stopping and staring at something.

"Pink?" Mick wrinkled his nose up as he pulled a pair of pink panties out of my bag. He couldn't stop the proud little smirk on his face though.

"Yeah! So what? Put them away and get the first aid kit,"

Mick laughed and picked up the kit then placed it on the bed. I leant forward a little, moving my right arm up and waited a moment. Mick didn't seem to be doing anything.

"Alright?" I asked, peering over my shoulder at the Brit. He had an odd expression on his face: concerned and bashful. He was just staring, "Mick?"

"Hm? Sorry?"

"Are you going to get on with it or not?" I asked, laughing a little at the awkwardness of the position we were in.

"Yeah, sorry. I was just wondering how something like this could have happened. It's such an odd place… how did it happen?"

"Car crash," I said, "Nothing too bad, a drunk driver crashed into the side of my car while I was asleep in the back. Door caved in and cracked slicing up my back,"

"That sounds awful,"

"Eh, I've had worse," I shrugged, "Broke all the bones in my arm once falling through a floor in a house and- ow!" I yelped as Mick stuck the needle into the bruised area.

"Sorry, my fault!"

"Yeah no shit," I hissed. I let him get on with it from then on. However, the silence soon got awkward. Mick finished re-stitching my wound and I pulled my shirt back on.

"You know, I knew about you guys before you flew over right?" I said, deciding the silence was too much to bare anymore.

"Well, it was assumed that-"

"Not from the Winchesters. When I was a kid,"

"Pardon?"

"I mean you probably don't need to know this but my brother got into Kendrick, my grandfather was a Men of letters member and so we were guaranteed places,"

"You're a legacy!"

"Uh huh, my mum never got into it- wanted a normal kind of life I suppose. But my brother and I were really close to my grandad and got pulled in that way,"

"So, you never went to Kendrick?"

"No um something happened to my brother which meant I was never permitted to,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I took a deep breath, "My brother was thirteen at the time and things were going great for him. Top of his year, doing amazingly in academics and in the more specialised subjects. I was only six at the time, still in public education, but one day my brother didn't come home from school," I could feel my eyes water as I began to remember the day I'd tried to suppress for so long, "He got driven home in our private car so it was very odd. My Dad called the school and no one answered. So he went to find out himself, leaving me with the dog. My mum was away on business and she wasn't coming back until the end of the month. An hour passed, then two, then five and he didn't come home. He never came home," My voice cracked as I began to cry, Mick sat next to me again, "It wasn't until three days later when the head teacher-"

"Dr Hess?"

"Yeah, until Dr Hess came knocking that I knew. My brother was killed to allow some other kid to move up a class and my father was killed because he protested to this- for threatening to call the police!"

"Y/n… I didn't know,"

"Yeah, no one does. I had to carry on like nothing had happened. A member stayed in my house and watched over everything I did at school to make sure I didn't tell anyone. I was six! I didn't even tell my mum what happened until I was sixteen! All that time she thought they died in a car crash,"

"I'm so sorry,"

"So am I," I sighed. Mick remained silent and I suddenly felt very guilty, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to spill that all on you I just thought you should know and-"

"It's fine, I appreciate that you trust me with that- means a lot,"

"Well, someone's got to want you around," I joked, wiping my tears away. I sniffed and stood up, "I'm going to go get some air. I'll be back in a minute,"

"Are you okay? You shouldn't be going out so late on your own,"

"I'll be back in half an hour, okay?" I pulled a jacket on and my phone off the charger. "Don't wait up,"

--

Half an hour turned into two hours. I found a small lake a mile from the hotel and just sat and thought. I thought about my family, I missed them so much. I hadn't seen my Mom since Easter and she only lived a state over. I missed my brother and my dad- it was so expensive to get a plane ticket over to England I hadn't seen them for four years at least.

I thought about Mick and Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean had become like my family even though I never saw them often each time I did catch them it was like I'd never gone. And Mick? Well, that was a completely different kettle of fish. I liked the Brit a lot, but I also hated him. Everything about him made me want to slap him then kiss him. I hated it. I didn't know what to do with myself, I wanted to run away. I could steal a car, change my name and never look back. I couldn't like him, I couldn't fall for him. He was the enemy and one day I knew it would turn tits up but at the same time, I really didn't care. I wanted him!

I frowned at myself, stupid feelings were getting the better of me. No, I was a hunter there was no time for that. I had to do my job, saving people and hunting things. I couldn't just back out because of some guy- because I was scared. I've faced demons and vampires and freaking angels for god's sake, one human can't stop me.

I decided in that moment to go back. I would finish this hunt, have a nice time with Sam and Dean and move on. I'd go find a new case and show those stupid British ass-hats what we American hunters are made of.

When I got back to the motel the room was dark except for a lamp glowing in the corner. Mick was sat, slumped one of the beds, with his laptop open on his lap and an empty glass next to him. I crept in, quietly placing my coat on the back of the door and my phone back on charge.

"Mick?" I spoke softly so not to wake him up if he was asleep. He wasn't and opened his eyes then sat up slightly. His eyes were watering, the light from the lamp making them glisten, and he looked upset. I sighed and walked into the room, sitting down at the side of his bed. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, um of course," Mick wiped his eyes with his sleeve and ran his hands over his stubble, "Are you alright now?"

"You can cut the act Mick," I laughed quietly to myself and shook my head. Mick looked confused, "I've lived with the Winchesters long enough to know when someone's upset about something and hiding," Mick frowned and looked away, "Mick? Please, I can help,"

"I don't think you can," He sighed.

"I can try," I said softly. I was now sat a lot closer to him, and I carefully placed my hand on his, bringing his attention back to me. "Please?"

Mick sighed and relaxed a little. He didn't say a word but he didn't really have to. He sat back and opened his arm to let me in. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and relaxed. I wanted to move and kiss him, it was just a little move. But I couldn’t- I wouldn’t. 

There was no sound in the room. Only the quiet rustle of leaves outside and our calm breathing. The only light was from the cracked open door which provided a small amount of light. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder, smiling content for once that this was okay- everything will be okay.

The next morning I woke up in bed with Mick. For a moment I panicked thinking I'd slept with him but I quick check under the covers to see all of my clothes were intact reassured me that did not happen. Not that I would have minded if it were different…

Mick was on the phone talking quietly. From the look on his face, I could tell it was something serious. He looked over and saw I was awake, giving a polite little smile. I smiled back and raised my eyebrows asking if he was okay.

"Yes ma'am," He said, quickly looking away from me. "I-"

Whoever it was dropped the call and Mick pulled then phone from his ear, scowled at it and sighed. He rubbed a hand over his stubble, a nervous habit I had noticed, and stayed sat away from me.

"Mick? Everything alright?" I asked, curiosity taking over me. Mick looked at me, was about to speak then bit his lip and looked away. He sighed again and muttered something under his breath. "You can tell me, I won't tell,"

"You sound like such a child, you know that?" Mick snapped.

"I-I'm sorry," I stuttered, stunned and kind of hurt by his tone. "I didn't-"

"Just leave it! Leave me alone!" He shrugged my hand off and faced away from me completely. I frowned, tears pricked my eyes but I did as I was told and left him alone. I grabbed my stuff while Mick used the bathroom, purposely slamming the door hard as I went to tell him I was angry too.

I stomped down the hallway to Sam and Dean's room, knocked and Dean opened it.

"Y/n? Alright?"

"Got kicked out by his majesty," I snapped, "Want to go for breakfast? Heard that they have pancakes,"

"Uh yeah sure," Dean smiled, "So you've finished playing Downton Abbey with Mr Darcy then?"

"Wrong show there Dean, but yes. I am done. America all the way baby!"

"Glad to have you back on board sweetheart," Dean laughed, giving me a high-five.

"You guys going for breakfast?" Sam appeared behind Dean. I smiled and nodded. "Mick not coming?"

"Nah," I chucked my bag past Sam, landing haphazardly on the floor under the table in Sam and Dean's room. "Anyway, I'm starving! Pancakes, let's go!"

Breakfast was nice, relaxed. Mick didn't come down at all, and by the time we'd finished the rather extensive breakfast the hotel provided I had nearly forgotten about the whole situation. I went back to Sam and Dean's room and helped them pack up the Impala, then began my walk into town to get my car. It was still parked at the monsters house.

I was dreading this car journey. I purposely walked slower to the house hoping Dean would give up and take Mick back himself but I wasn't as lucky.

So now, Mick and I were sat quietly in my car. The only noise was coming from the radio and the air was thick with tension between us. I hadn't said a word to Mick since this morning, I barely even looked at him. I could tell he was still angry with me too so neither of us made an effort to talk.

This was a much longer trip- five hours back to British compound then another three back to the bunker. At the rate this journey was going I rather tempted to run the car into a lake and drown us both. That'd be more pleasant than this, right?

Mick kept shifting in his seat, looking over at me, trying to say something but he gave up before anything came out. I wanted to know what he wanted but at the same time, I really didn't.

"I'm sorry about this morning," Mick finally spoke up, "I was out of order and I'm sorry," I shrugged and ignored him. Yes, I was being petty but I really did not care, "Look I'm sorry okay! Can you at least say something?" Again I stayed silent, concentrating on the road in front of me. "Fine, I'm just going to keep talking even if you don't. That call earlier was from Dr Hess, she's my boss. She said that the old men weren't happy with the work I was doing, said I hadn't got very far with you hunters. They're calling me in,"

"That doesn't elicit you being so pissed at me," I snapped.

"You are the reason I've basically failed my job over here. Ever since you walked in that bloody base I can't get you out of my head! I should want to kill you, but instead…," Mick stopped and took a deep breath. Confused I pulled in on the side of the road and stopped the car.

"What are you saying?"

"I like you Y/n, a lot in fact, but I know I can't," Mick looked away, down at his hands in his lap. "You're funny, clever, and strong and I can't help myself. I only shouted at you because I was scared. If anyone found out about my feelings for you, they'd kill us both. My mission would be compromised. I can't let that happen, I really can't. You of all people know that,"

"I- um," I didn't know what to say.

"Just don't say anything. This is all my fault, I can deal with it on my own,"

"Mick…"

"No. Don't,"

"Mick I want to help! I can help! I'm not some ordinary person. I've dealt with you before and I've dealt with people much worse than you. I want to help,"

"The only way you can help is if you stay away! Stay well away from this, from the men of letters, from me,"

"I'm not going to do that,"

"They will kill you,"

"They're going to at some point anyway I'm sure. Why can't it be now?"

"You don't understand," Mick sighed

"Then leave, quit. We both know that you don't really believe in that damn code anymore. You can join the Winchesters and me, take them down and we'd never have to worry about it. Everything would be okay,"

Mick shrugged and turned away from me, looking out the window. I took this as a sign that the conversation was over. I turned the key and drove off again. Within half an hour we met up with Sam and Dean just outside the base. I was leaving my car here, putting a dash cam in the grill so we could keep an eye on what was going on there. Mick got out without saying a word, just giving me a small smile and a quick nod to the boys then he walked away.

"Alright kiddo?" Dean asked as I walked over. I shrugged and slipped into the back of the Impala. Sam and Dean stayed outside for a few more minutes, watching Mick leave and checking the camera was working. I sat in the car and waited, smiling as I looked around the car and saw that everything was so perfectly Winchester. From the cassettes to the flannel shirt that had slipped under the front seat. So very Winchester. Sam and Dean came back a few minutes later and away we went back home.

--

I didn't mean to fall asleep but I suppose I was more worn out than I thought I was. Lack of practice. I woke up and sat up and looked around to see where we were. Unfortunately, the miles and miles of scrub land was not very helpful to my whereabouts at least Sam and Dean were there.

"Mornin' sweetheart," Dean said, quickly looking back at me. Sam was asleep, his head leaning against the window.

"Morning," I smiled, "How long was I out?"

"About an hour and your phone went off earlier by the way. Love the ring tone- Crazy Frog! Keeping relevant there," Dean teased. I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him in the rearview mirror.

"At least I'm original Winchester," I laughed.

I pulled my phone out from my coat pocket, unlocked it and read the text.

From: Mick  Sent: 7:00pm

I'm sorry about this morning…

From: Mick  Sent 7:02pm

Stay safe.

"Oh shit,"

"What?" Dean asked, looking back at me in the rearview mirror, I didn't reply. "Y/n?"

Still, I didn't reply, quickly tying a reply trying to work out what the hell he was doing. Stay safe? When did Mick ever care about my safety? Then, I remembered everything he'd said this morning, the phone call last night, and my confusions turned to dread.

To: Mick Sent: 7:32 pm         

Mick what do you mean?

To: Mick  Sent 7:33 pm         

Mick you can't do this, not yet!!!

To Mick Sent 7:33 pm         

Mick!!! Reply!!

"Dean we need to get back to the base!"

"What? No, Y/n we just-"

"Just drive damn it! He's going to something stupid!" I exclaimed.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, groggily as he woke up.

"Mick! He's gonna do something stupid we need to go back and stop him. Now!"

"What do you mean stupid?"

"Just drive!"

Sam nodded to Dean and quickly he whipped the Impala around and we sped off in the other direction to the British Men of Letter base.

Within the hour we were there. My heart dropped when I saw Mick's Bentley along with two other cars: a Jaguar and a Bentley. I had a horrible feeling that whoever it was not good.

The guard at the gate let us in, recognising the Impala and Dean's grumpy attitude. I didn't even wait for Dean to shut off the engine to get out. I reached towards to building, Sam and Dean following quickly behind me. I loaded my gun and ran through the base, quickly typing in the door code wherever needed. I could hear two voices. One male- Mick and a woman. British too so I assumed she was men of letters.

This place was a damn maze! I was forever running into locked doors and dead end corridors. Eventually, I found the doors to the main control room, my heart was racing as I heard the voices get louder. I punched in the code and suddenly a gun fired inside. From that moment everything seemed to go in slow motion.

The shot resonated through the bunker as I shoved open the doors. I watched with her as Mick collapsed forward, blood pouring from his head.

"No!" I couldn't stop the pained scream escaping as I collapsed to the floor in floods of tears. The woman sneered at me; an almost accomplished look on her face.

Ketch stood silently at the door and the woman smiled, contented that her problem had been solved- although a new one had arisen, the woman walked out of the room, her heels clicking against the metal but once she was gone everything was silent apart from my quiet sobbing.

"I suggest you leave," Ketch spoke, speaking slowly and carefully.

I looked up from my hands and stared at him in disbelief then shook my head. "How could you… How could you!"

"Orders-"

"He was your friend! He was my friend! I loved him!" My voice cracked as I shouted. "How could you?"

Sam and Dean were now behind me. Each brother took one arm and helped me up. I was barely aware of what was happening, I was just overwhelmed by emotion. Grief, anger, confusion and pain.

I loved him, but I never told him and now I never would. All I knew was… someone's going to pay.

TAGGED: @bcr36 @bethanystan @lindsaylove1226 @mybittersweetbullshituniverse @faith-in-dean @wayward-mirage

[emunenen]

Makao Bora

New Post has been published on https://wp.me/paK8na-35l

Kiamaiko slaughterhouse runs on the sweat of young boys, trafficked from Ethiopia. Abdi Youssef is one of them. He came to Kenya when he was 7. He is now 27

It is 4.30am. As the rest of the city drags itself from sleep, Kiamaiko Market in Nairobi is abuzz with activity.

At an open field, business is booming and around 20 trucks are parked. On one side, women with makeshift eateries are busy making tea, chopping vegetables and preparing for the long day.  On the other side, the bleating of goats rents the air. A group of about 20 people cluster the goats into groups under the cover of darkness.  

Behind the veneer of normalcy lurks a little dirty secret: the market, situated around eight kilometres from the capital, runs on the sweat of young boys, aged between seven and 15 years old, trafficked from Ethiopia.

Abdi Youssef is one of them. He came to Kenya when he was seven. He is now 27.

“My uncle brought me to Nairobi when I was seven. He told my parents that he would take me to Kenya to educate me.

I saw how other people who came to Kenya returned to build homes for their parents and I convinced them to let me go. Life here was completely different. My uncle brought me to Kiamaiko and sent me to work at the slaughterhouses.

Every day he would demand the money I made and give me just enough for food. At the end of the month, he would send my parents Sh1,000,�� he says.

On average Youssef made Sh1,000 a day and his employer took Sh800 and gave him Sh200 for food and other expenses.

Youssef says he was brought in together with other 10 boys, smuggled in trucks with the goats. The trucks have two compartments; the goats are kept on top, and on the lower compartment, separated by thick sticks, the boys huddled together.

Once they arrived, their job was to receive goats, take them to Kiamaiko Slaughterhouse as early as 3.00am and clean the market for Sh10. As they grew older, they slaughtered goats for Sh20 per head.

Master & Slave

At first, they slept in the same sheds as the goats, with the doors securely locked to keep them from escaping.

Over time, they made enough money to rent rooms where they lived as many as five boys.

Despite this tough life, they don’t want to leave the area at all:  they have become addicted to working in the slaughterhouses.  

 “Life here is difficult. When I was younger, our master used to beat us up if we attempted to hide money from him.

We could hardly afford to buy food or clothes. The masters sodomised some of the boys and beat them up. They had no choice but to bear it,” said Youssef.

He is now married to a Kenyan and does not know any other home other than the market. He rarely ventures out of the area because he does not have papers.

Khamed Negasi was brought into Kiamaiko when he was just 11, lured with the promise of a better life, only to endure untold suffering at the hands of his master.

“One of the traffickers came to our home in Ethiopia and promised me a better life in Kenya. What I found here was completely different. At one point I tried to run away but my master had me arrested and put in jail until I agreed to go back and work for him.

With time, I was able to make my way around and find a new employer. Now I cannot go back home because I have made a life for myself here. I’m now 30 years old and married to a Kenyan girl. We have two children,” he said.

Like Negasi, some survivors learn Swahili and adapt to the lifestyle, and even negotiate and work with new employers on their own terms. Others get into the trafficking business, creating a vicious circle of abuse and exploitation.

Francis Mutuku from the Counter Human Trafficking Trust East Africa says trafficking is rife on all porous border points around Kenya and since 1990, thousands of Ethiopian boys and girls have been trafficked through Moyale Border to Nairobi.  

“It involves a complex web of actors, mainly communities living on both sides of the border, brokers who identify final destinations, transporters, security agencies for protection and the end clients who victims are delivered to.

The problem is more pronounced on the Ethiopian side due to ‘structured’ recruitment, transportation, disposal of victims and the attendant abuse,” he said.

Investigations by The People Daily reveal the travails of the trafficked boys such as Youssef and Negasi. At the slaughterhouses, the boys do backbreaking work: slaughtering animals, cleaning the market and calling out to customers.

Some of them are hardly seven years old and cannot even speak Swahili. Sometimes they herd animals as far as Kasarani in Nairobi.

The slaughterhouse and the human trafficking trade have spawned an economy in the area, where several flats have sprouted. Traffickers use the money from the boys to build houses and later rent them out to older boys who are able to make their way around.

The Trafficking in Persons Report 2019 by the US Department of State states that traffickers often deceive parents living in rural areas in Ethiopia to send their children to major cities to work as domestic workers.

“The trafficker promise families that the children will go to school and receive wages for their work, thereby enabling them to send money home,” it says.

 Kenya, being a source, destination and transit point for victims of human trafficking, is one of the cities many of these young boys come to eke out a living.

Mariam Habiba, the Kenyan-Ethiopian human rights activist, has tried to fight the vice in Kiamaiko for years. 

Her grandmother was one of the women given land in Kiamaiko by President Jomo Kenyatta in 1966 and as an inhabitant, she has witnessed the suffering the boys and girls trafficked from Ethiopia go through. 

Untouchables

The trafficked girls some as young as eight years are often married off to the trafficker or one of his relatives or forced to work as domestic workers. The trucks are also a conduit to bring in bhang from Sheshemani and small arms.

Habiba’s attempts have all failed, as she is often confronted with the harsh reality of a well-connected network of traffickers willing to go to any lengths to bring the boys to Kenya.

In 2012, she tried to trace the trafficking route from Ethiopia, Moyale Isiolo, Nyeri or  Nyanyuki to Nairobi. She boarded one of the trucks carrying the boys, girls and the weapons. 

“The boys were put in trucks with two compartments. The first was carrying sacks of beans while the boys were hidden in the same compartment. They were crying throughout the trip begging to be let out.

Some were unable to breathe because of the heat and when we reached Marsabit, I alerted police at one of the checkpoints. The truck was driven into a police station. To my surprise, I was the one who was arrested and the truck was allowed to proceed,” she said.

Habiba was freed a day later without any charges. In 2009, she alerted police and a major swoop was conducted in Kiamaiko.

A day later, she went to the police station to inquire what would happen to the boys, only to be told they were set free. She claims that their masters walked into the station and “bribed” to get their slaves back.

“I was told the cell did not have enough room to hold the boys and their masters had come for them. They paid a thousand for each and on that day, the police officers made more than Sh200,000,” she claimed. 

Contacted for a comment, Police spokesperson Charles Owino said he could not discuss the issue until they conduct independent investigations. “We will first have to carry out preliminary investigations before I can give you an official statement. Give me some time,” he said.

Kenya is placed at Tier Two in the Trafficking in-person report 2019, which means that although it still does not meet the minimum standards for the elimination of the vice, it has made significant efforts to fight to traffic.

“Traffickers sometimes fraudulently obtained identity documents from complicit officers and police often took bribes to warn traffickers of impending operations and investigations,” the report said. *Names of the victims have been changed to protect the identity of the victims

  This article first appeared on K24 News

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[junker-town]

Sidney Crosby’s 30 biggest moments from his road to NHL stardom

The Penguins captain turns 30 today, so let’s celebrate by reflecting on the moments that propelled him to greatness.

Sidney Crosby has officially turned 30 years old. It seems quite incredible that one of the greatest hockey players of this time has reached his 30s, but it’s true! The captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins has hit yet another milestone in his long hockey career.

By NHL standards, Crosby should be in the midst of a decline as a forward in this league. Yet, the last few years have been some of Crosby’s best in the NHL and in international competition. The future generation of hockey players are here in Connor McDavid and Auston Matthews, but Crosby’s recent dominance has shown that he’s not done quite yet. And love him or hate him, he’s here to stay.

As such, we’re here to celebrate Crosby’s long, industrious, and historic hockey career with a list of 30 moments, stories, or general pieces of fun that make up his story to date.

1. His humble origins

Crosby famously grew up practicing hockey in his basement, dinging up the dryer next to the net in the process. That story became so famous that people now believe Crosby actually shot pucks into the dryer itself, as he performed that feat for Jay Leno back in 2005. The machine now resides in the Nova Scotia Sport Hall of Fame, though the misconception of the story lives on.

2. His name is on his hometown’s sign

He’s Cole Harbour’s claim to fame!

3. His younger sister, Taylor, also plays hockey

And her bio at St. Cloud State is quite nonchalant about their relationship.

I love our Captain... but I also love how his sister's college hockey team addresses him in her team bio: http://pic.twitter.com/ZjjZxvQ1dW

— Jody (@jlhorn33) July 14, 2017

4. The Penguins had a 6.3 percent chance to win the 2005 draft lottery

Because of the 2004-’05 lockout, the NHL draft lottery for the following year was based on playoff appearances and draft lottery victories in the last four years. The previous year, the Penguins missed out on the top spot to grab Alex Ovechkin, raising their chance to draft Crosby in 2005 by 2.1 percent.

5. His first career NHL goal was assisted by Mark Recchi

Not a bad way to start your NHL career than on the receiving end of a pass from a future Hall of Famer.

6. At the start of his career, he lived with Mario Lemieux

The championship pedigree runs strong in Crosby’s early career, though he played just 26 games with Lemieux before he retired due to an irregular heartbeat.

7. Despite a strong first season, he did NOT win the Calder Trophy

Crosby’s 102 points were not enough to best Ovechkin’s 106 at the end of the 2005-’06 season, and so the famous “rivalry” began.

8. He’s set records as the youngest NHL player for a lot of things

That includes being the youngest player to:

Score 100 points in a single season (18 years, 253 days old)

Win the Art Ross Trophy (19 years old)

Win the Ted Lindsay Award (19 years old)

Be named to the NHL's First All-Star Team (19 years old)

Score 200 career points (20 years old)

Tally two consecutive 100-point seasons (20 years old)

Win the Stanley Cup as a captain since 1895 (21 years old)

His Art Ross Trophy win also signifies him as the only teenage scoring champion in any major North American professional sport.

9. At the time, he was the NHL’s youngest captain

Crosby was named the captain for the Penguins when he was 19 years and 297 days old, an honor he actually turned down when he was 18 because he didn’t think he was ready. Connor McDavid now has him beat at 19 years and 266 days old, but that record stood for nearly 10 years.

10. His commercials are no better than any other star athlete

Please stop subjecting poor athletes to these things.

11. His pregame rituals are precise

And he eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game!

12. At one point in his life, he owned a PSP

No news if Crosby has upgraded to a Nintendo Switch these days for those cross-country flights.

13. He’s also on a stamp

In the past, Canada celebrated great hockey legacies with commemorative stamps, and Crosby graced Canada Post’s “2016 NHL Great Canadian Forwards” alongside Phil Esposito, Guy Lafleur, Darryl Sittler, Mark Messier, and Steve Yzerman.

14. He’s the most decorated hockey athlete of his time

To his name across 12 NHL seasons, Crosby has:

Three Stanley Cups (2009, 2016, 2017)

Four Eastern Conference championships (2008, 2009, 2016, 2017)

Two Conn Smythe trophies (2016, 2017)

Two Art Ross trophies (2007, 2014)

Two Rocket Richard trophies (2010, 2017)

Three Ted Lindsay awards (2007, 2013, 2014)

Two Hart trophies (2007, 2014)

Six NHL All-Star selections (2007, 2008, 2009, 2011, 2015, 2017)

A World Junior gold medal (2005)

Two Olympic gold medals (2010, 2014)

A World Cup of Hockey gold medal (2016)

15. He won Canada its first Olympic hockey gold medal on home ice

Crosby’s “golden goal” in the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver gave Canada a 3-2 victory in overtime against the United States, helping the team to its first Olympic gold in the sport on home ice. Canada has hosted the Olympics three times, and its previous attempt in Calgary in 1988 fell short of the medal podium with a fourth-place finish.

16. Alongside all his hockey hardware, he has an Emmy award

Yes, Crosby is one fourth of the way to an EGOT. His role in the Penguins-produced special, “There's No Place Like Home With Sidney Crosby,” won in 2016 in the “sports program one-time special” category.

17. He’s a member of the Order of Nova Scotia

In 2008, Crosby was awarded the highest civilian honor in Nova Scotia for "significant contributions to the province and the country."

18. Growing up, he was a fan of the Montreal Canadiens

Crosby’s dad was drafted by Montreal in 1984 with the 240th overall pick, though he never played at the NHL level.

19. He once skipped the line at a DMV, to controversy!

In Pennsylvania, celebrities get special treatment at DMVs to avoid large crowds at already packed places. In 2013, Crosby skipped the line in Allegheny County and it caused quite the stir with local Pennsylvanians, who said “he should have to sit and wait with everyone else,” according to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

20. The number 87 has followed him forever

Crosby was born on Aug. 7, 1987 (or 8/7/87) and he wears the number 87 for the Penguins. In his recent contract extension signed in 2012, Crosby negotiated his contract to, wait for it, average $8.7 million per season over the next 12 years.

21. The 2016-17 season was one of his best in recent memory

Despite a concussion in the beginning of the season that kept Crosby out for a few weeks, he managed to put up 44 goals — his best since the 2009-’10 season — to win the Rocket Richard Trophy for the most goals in the NHL. Crosby’s shooting percentage of 17.3 was also his highest for a full season in his career, just barely beating out his 17.1 percent mark in 2009-10.

22. Peyton Manning texted him after his latest Stanley Cup win

From one G.O.A.T. to another!

Crosby said Peyton Manning texted him after the win. "I thought that was pretty cool. Didn't realize he followed hockey that much" -MC

— Pens Inside Scoop (@PensInsideScoop) June 15, 2017

23. He’s not the cleanest player

From allegations of whining that plagued him in his first few years in the league to chopping off part of Marc Methot’s finger and punching P.K. Subban’s head into the ice, Crosby hasn’t had the cleanest NHL career. Yet again, who has?

24. But he’s one of the most punished players in the league

On the flip side, Crosby’s star status means he gets pushed around A LOT by opposing players. One of the reasons the Penguins brought in tough guy Ryan Reaves this offseason is because players take liberties when Crosby is on the ice. Though Crosby sometimes gets the calls, there are a lot of instances that never get caught.

25. Concussions have plagued him throughout his career

To date, Crosby has had five concussions and has missed a total of 114 games due to concussion-related symptoms.

26. He doesn’t know if he’ll play until age 40

In an interview with NHL.com in January, Crosby said he isn’t sure if he’d still be playing at age 40:

"For whatever reason, the last couple years and even playing with a guy like [Matt Cullen], it crosses my mind and I'm thinking, 'He's 40. I don't know if I could do that.' My contract is until I'm 37, so that's where I see myself playing until, and then we'll see from there. You see where your body is and how everything goes.

"But 37 is pretty good. There's not a lot of guys playing at that age these days."

27. Time named him one of the most influential people in 2007

And at age 19 no less. Crosby has certainly come a long way since then.

28. He has a big love for history

Crosby recently took a college course at Southern New Hampshire University in the middle of the season through the NHL Players Association. His topic for his final paper? World War II.

29. He’s a member of the Triple Gold Club

In 2015, Crosby became the 26th member of the Triple Gold Club, hockey’s elite group of players who have won an Olympic gold medal, a World Championship gold medal, and the Stanley Cup.

30. He’s 30 years old and still at the peak of his career

If he can stay healthy, Crosby still has a long NHL career ahead of him. And how lucky we are to have him in the NHL. Happy 30th birthday, Sidney Crosby!

[mygangtome]

Where are they now? - Joe Armstrong

Disclaimer: As some of you may know, the author is something of a Joe stalker, so I cannot promise that the below will be unbiased, critical, or even necessarily in recognisable English. 

OK, important news- there are like 300 people on instagram with the name Joe Armstrong, and NOT ONE OF THEMis Joe. Now that that’s out of the way.

Then  

Oh hey, it’s another acting dynasty! Joe’s dad is the lovely Alun Armstrong, veteran of New Tricks (and Les Mis, Sweeny Todd, Braveheart, Bleak House, and about 7000 other things) and, I am told, beloved of women of a certain age. I am currently 28 and I adore him, so I assume that I am included amongst that number 

Nose and Nose Junior

Prior to Robin Hood, Joe had cut his teeth in a number of TV productions, including roles in Between the Sheets (alongside future RH alumni Richard Armitage), Blackpool, and the British TV classics of Midsomer Murders, Foyles War, the Bill, and similar. He was also a member of the National Youth Theatre and as well as appearing in NYT productions in 1998  and 2003, he continued to appear on and off stage alongside his TV work. 

Sir, your continued refusal to sing and dance is concerning everyone

2006 gave Joe a series-regular part as our very own Allan A Dale (or Allan A. Dale if you believe his agents. What does the middle A stand for, guys? Is he Allan Awesome Dale? Allan ). It’s possible that I am biased, but Allan seems to be something of a fan favourite- he’s a cheeky chappy and he has the brains of a shoe, and on top of all of that he gets a healthy topping of Angst, Betrayal, Redemption, and Comedy Sidekicking pretty much every other episode. But don’t take my word for it-  there’s a whole Allan tag out there, just waiting for you to embrace it.

There’s no such thing as overusing a gif

As an added extra, while filming Robin Hood Joe also appeared in the 2007 TV film Service, which is available online, and which I highly recommend you watch because it is the most bizarre and wonderful thing I have ever seen. 

Now  

You know those robot bees? You know the Black Mirror episode about the robot bees? Then you’ve seen Joe recently! Don’t know what I’m talking about? Get on Netflix pronto! and cry

No-one tell him that they’re actually now making robot bees.

Joe’s had a pretty decent run since Robin Hood, appearing in (to name a few), the award-winning Happy Valley (as a drug dealing farmer), The Village (as Bairstow, he of the nice hat and terrible morals), Land Girls, Public Enemies, and, of course, as Hotspur in the Hollow Crown’s production of Henry IV Part I, along with Alun Armstrong (playing his father), Michelle Dockery, Harry Lloyd, and Mr Hiddleston, who some of you seem to have heard of. 

Above: the whole reason I’m even on tumblr

JESUS. CHRIST.

Fun fact! Did you know that Harry Lloyd plays Hotspur’s brother in law in THC, and also appeared as Hotspur’s grandson in Wolf Hall? Hotspur would not approve

Joe also appeared in Closer to the Moon, a fantastic Romanian-American film, alongside Mark Strong and Harry Lloyd- Will and Allan are keeping it strong even now.

It’s a beautiful day to rob a bank.

He’s been on stage pretty much solidly from 2009 – 2015, recently appearing with Louise Brealey (she of Sherlock fame) in Constellations and Husbands & Sons, and with Maxine Peake in Miss Julie, and he was briefly rumoured to be dating Sienna Miller after appearing with her in Flare Path. He’s been twice nominated for his stage acting- once for Orphans, and once for the Print Room. 

New OTP

Joe was also on screens last Christmas in To Walk Invisible, sporting some truly terrifying mutton chops, and is next appearing as ‘Gildas’ in Sky’s upcoming series Britannia, about Celts and Romans. It has David Morrisey as a Roman, so I’m super excited, although as yet there is no release date (unless someone wants to prove me wrong and make my day).

Fun fact! IMDb lists his trademark as ’striking blue-green eyes’, which beats my contribution of ‘is good at accents and I like it’

For my own part, I first started watching Robin Hood because I wanted to ‘see what Hotspur from the Hollow Crown had done,’ and I’ve never looked back. If you only know him as Allan, or as that guy in the tutu from Hustle, give him a go. His back catalog is weighty and his face is amazing.

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Words by @iamstillwanderingwitless.

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been writing braime au drabbles on my priv acct for fun but i cant finish any of them so..... to those looking for ideas, here are some au’s that i can’t get off my mind and would love to see more of in ao3/tumblr (under the cut bc it’s so long im so sorry):

crimson peak - i mean c’mon... it’s perfect guys.....i have no idea who would play dr. alan though. maybe the hound??? but like platonic

real steel - lisTEN i couldnt stop thinking about this all day... selwyn is jaime’s former boxing coach... which makes brienne his old-and-soon-to-be-rekindled flame that practiced w him back in the day... cersei + robert are dead and there’s a custody battle over lil tommen.... jaime, his “nephew” tommen, and brienne teach Oath, the sparring robot some killer boxing moves and fight their way to robo championship, becoming a family

pacific rim - i found only one on ao3!! braime would totally be drift compatible and the best part is that cersei doesnt have to be evil here. in my drabble, jaime loses cersei and his right hand to a category 5 kaiju attack. cue angst. he retires as a pilot but decides to stay at the base to train cadets (the real reason he cant pilot anymore is because he keeps chasing after cersei in the drift, clinging onto her memory desperately ohoho). brienne is one of the cadets he trains but jaime cant stand her naivete and b/w outlook on the world (deep down tho, its because he once held the same ideals as she did that resulted in cersei’s death. he sees her as a liability to her future co-pilot) so he picks on her a lot. brienne, sick of his shit, boldly challenges him to a duel, setting the terms that if she wins, jaime has to stop picking on her but if he wins, she has to quit the jaeger programme. to NO ONE’S SURPRISE, the duels ends w a tie! i named their jaeger Ursa Maiden because... you know... 

battle: los angeles - is there enough military fics?? lance corporal tarth kicking alien ass and saving staff sergeant lannister gives me strength

harry potter - WE COULD DO SO MANY THINGS WITH THIS... brienne the halfblood hufflepuff prefect and jaime the pureblood gryffindor troublemaker. rival quidditch captains? best duelers of their respective years? eventual auror partners? all three, because destiny has fated them to be together always? also consider: jaime was said to have murdered the then minister of magic but was not sentenced to azkaban thanks to tywin pulling a few strings. and honourable, hardworking brienne, the first hufflepuff and woman to get an Outstanding in DADA for NEWTS, the first person to best jaime aka the lion of gryffindor in a duel, and the one lucky enough to be mentored by auror!Renly. also i think we can all agree jaime would say “wait til my father hears about this” to get out of trouble

the walking dead - dudes i have not been able to stop thinking about this au too, like jaime and brienne from opposing communities, meeting each other during a supply run and fighting over a jackpot supply of Useful Things but when they’re just about to kill each other over it- SURPRISE! a convenient horde appears! they become temporary allies to survive, somehow saving each others’ asses along the way, jaime getting bit on his hand trying to save her and brienne repaying the favour by chopping off his hand to stop the infection, they spend a week in an abandoned cabin in the woods to recuperate, jaime bathing in the river with her where he explains why he had to kill the twd!aerys + possible romance, confusion w where they stand w each other and whether or not they can continue this fragile alliance if they go back home, jaime selfishly telling her they could just stay here in the cabin, start a new life together and never go back to their respective communities, brienne saying she can’t bc there are people to protect back home (from his people) so she leaves, jaime leaves too because cersei’s back home but he’s worried that the next time he meets brienne, it’ll be as enemies.... do y’alls feel this

superheroes - jaime is the perfect charismatic speedster?? and brienne w super strength??? if u guys play ttrpgs, jaime would be The Legacy or The Reformed and brienne the Transformed in Masks

kingsman - brienne is lancelot and tyrion is merlin AMIRITE

dragon age - (da:o timeline) brienne, a templar from lothering saves jaime, one of the commanders of king cailan’s army and survivor of the Battle of Ostagar who was captured by howe’s men and labelled a traitor (he’d be in one of the cages like Sten!). eventually they get conscripted into the grey wardens by the Warden, becoming the Warden’s travelling companions. would be cute if the Warden wanted to save time and send them off on a treaty mission together. also how perfect would it be if the couslands were the starks... rendon howe could be littlefinger too...

mass effect - i friggin loved me3 multiplayer so i can totally see brienne as a n7 destroyer and jaime as a n7 slayer. the two of them would’ve made such a good team that they were considered instrumental to the reaper’s defeat on earth. also they totally survive the war and settle down in the citadel and adopt a bunch of alien + human orphans. maybe before the war, they were spectres who butt heads a lot bc of diff mission interests. 

the proposal - I NEED TO KNOW, HAS ANYONE DONE THIS YET??? bc if there is, i wanna read it immediately. in my head, jaime could be the jerk boss who begs brienne to marry him to avoid getting deported. but instead of going back to tarth that weekend, they go to casterly rock to meet jamie’s family. same premise as the 2009 film, but slightly different and way more fun with cersei and tyrion around. also consider: the image of gwen dancing and singing to Get Low

to all the boys i’ve loved before - okay... hear me out... lara jean is brienne, kitty is arya, and sansa is margot but younger than brienne and instead of college, she’s in paris for a highschool student exchange programme. brienne is also a step-sister to the girls, cat took her in after her parents’ deaths. MEANWHILE josh is teen!sandor who sansa broke up with before she left for paris but is still best friends with brienne, peter is jaime(!!!) who kissed her during truth or dare years ago, and lucas is of course renly!! also gen is cersei but jamie’s cousin instead of sister. this is so complicated but i find it so cute still?????

i found this au from a prompt list on tumblr and its perfect: “single parents whose children are rivals in a talent show/ sports competition”. the children are tommen and arya, but brienne is arya’s foster mum since cate and ned’s death

naruto - ok so they’re both from different villages but become allies for a dangerous mission.... or brienne is hunting jaime bc he’s a missing nin from her village (catelyn would make a great kage holy shit).... whatever it is, you could totally work in a bath house scene :)

bleach - BRIENNE IS ASSIGNED TO JAIME’S DIVISION AS HIS NEW LIEUTENANT IMAGINE THEIR DYNAMIC sometimes i lay awake thinking about how tite kubo would draw brienne and jaime. [holding a butter knife] he better not give her ginormous boobs

where rainbows end/love rosie - y’all feel this too or is it just me, like just the idea of brienne opening a beach hotel in tarth... i need more brienne by the ocean fics in my life tbh. also im such a sucker for fics made up of purely texts between the characters then ending it with them meeting ahdasdjadsjad anyway Jaime is Alex and Hyle as Greg.

I Wish I Could Write These But Should You Find It Equally Interesting To Write About, Please, By All Means, Take My Brain Juice And Make It Beautiful And Let Me Know So I Can Give You Kudos And Comments Full of Squealing and Love