#did you have a feminism card you wanted stamped or?????

[transvampireboyfriend]

"I hate Chappell Roan's music I think she's insufferable but-", "The worst thing about this situation is I'm having to defend someone whose music I think is trash-" so don't?????????????? thousands of people are her fans i don't think she needs you. moreover, i think she'd rather you didn't defend her if you're going to literally insult her art, her personality and her work. y'know since she's such a bitch and all

[dfangurlinme]

WHY MAMAMOO: RBW

A lot may wonder why I’m including RBW as the reason why I grew fond of MAMAMOO. I’m not here to say that RBW is a perfect company nor justify what their strategy has been for the group or as a company. I’m neither an expert in music industry nor a business analyst as well. RWB made a name because of the success of MAMAMOO and no one doubts that fact. The group carried what RBW’s management vision the group to be; helping the company on its long term goal of success.

 The company is actually more than an agency, I caught myself reading through RBW’s company profile and given the listed activities, the companies seems to be in line to mentorship of production equally to its idol incubation activities. If RBW as a company encourages trainees to be creatively free what better way to actually see it in real life to the agency’s biggest act.

 MAMAMOO’s training is obviously routed to a creatively free ground. Based on the CEO’s explanation and MAMAMOO’s claim they have a very collaborative relationship between them and their management. One of my personal favorite characteristics of the members is their unified gratitude towards the people working behind them. Again, MAMAMOO as a group are composed of 4 strong personalities of women hence seeing them verbalize and act how thankful they are to the people who works along with their success is a reflection of their humanity.

 One particular article that caught my eyes can be found in this link (https://www.forbes.com/sites/carmenniethammer/2019/12/01/the-equivocal-business-of-women-in-the-music-industry/#7ee59f9f3e94); without MAMAMOO I would have never check such topics about women in music. Music for me is something to enjoy and consume while MAMAMOO as a group have openly stated that music is their passion. The group and I are on different views and standing yet knowing them made me go on research about how are women doing across the world in such a cruel industry.

 Feminism is a fight which is on going across the world and I haven’t really known where I stand on that and I would not talk about such complicated topic about the matter. MAMAMOO is a group composed of women who are trained and is able to express their creative freedom both as a group and as solo acts. They don’t just sing songs but they actually actively participate on the materials creation process. This information alone gives RBW an edge.

 On the article, women’s role in production and the industry is still relatively small but slowly growing. RBW a company who started as an incubation of potential idol who later on decided to launch their personal group and actually put their capital on MAMAMOO is a statement on its own. They trained the girls to actually be sustainable on their own, they risked their resources to accompany this group of people who had only passion and skill in their heart.

 MAMAMOO saw how collaboration and progressiveness can change people’s lives. The group carried a burden unthinkable for the company they took the risk off if you actually think of it. These women have to carry the thought and load that their success is the payoff of the people working behind the scene. The relationship that was built on that time period is something that would always be embedded on their lives as they grow old.

 RBW is part of what shaped these women of what we see them today. Yes, the company is growing and is learning on the different aspects a business must act the same way that MAMAMOO continuously to grow as time passes. The staffs and their resources are steadily growing but beyond the growth of its assets RBW’s greatest gift to MAMAMOO and their other artist including the staffs, even their trainees is the environment that music is about passion and aspiration to enrich their already existing talents within.

 RBW is making a name for themselves as a company who looks at the skill and personality. MAMAMOO is already the best example of that, the following groups they have launch possess the same attributes as stated as well; no matter how long it takes to succeed it’s alright as long as they will never lose themselves in the process.

 When I started getting to know MAMAMOO, I do have the same sentiments about their company. I was wondering as to why the group this talented is moving at a slower phase compared to other groups in the industry. I have to dig deep on the company and the group to only realize that a progressive traditional approach which centers to creativity and individuality is already creating enough tension to the people.

 You may be wondering how MAMAMOO and RBW is actually creating tension, simple, they share and respect their own creativity to produce music. I’ll go back to the topic of concept; I have mentioned previously that MAMAMOO’s concept was discussed by their CEO as an artist in an idol format. People perceive artist as a person who has a hold on their own creative freedom and is able to express themselves.

 I also mentioned previously that MAMAMOO is both complex and simple. The group’s complexity on my view comes for the reason that they are a multifaceted group that needs to be dissected before getting the gist of what they are capable of offering; they are simple for the simple thought that their works was never about the different concept. MAMAMOO is about being themselves, that’s just it. Their concept focuses on personality, traits and experience rather than playing a character.

 When MAMAMOO debuted their CEO discussed that they want to show that the group is about being an artist which is a unification of what the group represent. It’s this aspect why I believe that they are perceived by other idols and artist as one. They started and immediately worked on establishing this image which continuously pays off till this time. The group succeeded on their first mission of being a group acknowledge with talent and performances. What needs to be done next is to further that knowledge by enforcing tone of the riskiest side of being in the group, their individuality.

 RBW played their cards well on my opinion. They unified 4 women with too much skills and personality to eventually blossom them as individual cards. If you think about it, fans tend to pick favorites when it comes to a group yet MAMAMOO on the most part is still able to empower the unification of the fans to support the group equally to its members. 4S/4C is the best example of a project RBW and MAMAMOO launch to finally start the new chapter of the group.

 One of their biggest project and I think the company’s biggest risk actually focuses about emotion and individuality accompanied with the fact that they incorporated it with a season and a color to represent its physical metaphor. MAMAMOO is not a character on someone else story, they are the character of their story. I noticed this detail while watching previous stages and MV, the group concept tend to be more of personality rather than characters in their concepts.

 Again it’s all based on my understanding on how MAMAMOO is both complicated and simple. They were able to do all those variety of music and “concept” because of the support they were able to get and the understanding they shared with their company. Every material release by MAMAMOO or showcased has been enforced by the group. They are able to express and discuss in depth of the back story of each project they have done for the reason that they are very much present on its creation.

 RBW did not take away the passion MAMAMOO have, they actually enrich it through personal support that they can provide given the minimal resources they have at the moment. On my end, RBW is supporting MAMAMOO as a group and as individual to eventually take over the management. They are sharing all the experience and expertise they have to these women. If you would actually ask me, I personally see that RBW wants MAMAMOO as individual to later on sit behind the scene and actually help somebody else reach what they are able to reach or more.

 I hope RBW and MAMAMOO would continue this culture of progression and freedom of creativity. They have the skills and personality now they are building their legacy that hopefully will transcend on the changes of generations. They have a chance of a collaboration that would put a stamp in history. If fans can envision MAMAMOO members as mentors what more making it a reality right, after all, they have the skill already then they have a strong team behind them so the CEO or department heads is not a far fetch idea.

 Beyond the tangible resources which can be improve, RBW supported MAMAMOO on delivery their music on their own views and image. The music they want to provide, a stage they want to show and the artist they want people to listen. RBW didn’t manufacture a group they nurtured 4 girls to maturity to produce music for the world strongly based on them.

[avanneman]

O My Democratic Party, Where the F*ck Art Thou?

Well, good question. If Happy Days aren’t here again, and they aren’t, life is better, definitely. To have the House of Representatives back in Democratic hands after eight long years is definitely a pleasure if not a treasure. As one representative put it “Being in the majority is a thousand times better.” Furthermore, the party’s position at the state level, particularly in the Midwest, except for Ohio, has improved from Obama disaster levels to “not terrible”.

The fantasized “blue wave” failed to materialize, of course, but the thirty-plus seat gain in the House is more than gratifying. It was beginning to seem that Republicans had a lock on the House similar to the Democratic lock that prevailed, with only two interruptions, from 1932 until 1994. But now it appears that the Democrats can win the House without both a hurricane and a war. And it also appears that the party has made significant, though still limited, progress from the woeful downticket performance of the Obama years, to which, as I’ve frequently complained, Obama himself contributed himself to a painful degree, both in terms of policy and administration. Now we’re starting to look like a normal party again.

So what’s next? I recently opined that Old Lady Pelosi held most of the cards, if not the answers, in the upcoming power struggles. It’s true that a number of new reps made it a talking point that they wouldn’t vote for Pelosi, but luckily for Pelosi if no one else, she faces divided forces. A lot of the talk against Pelosi is that she’s “too California” and that we need some Midwestern blue-collar muscle rather than Silicon Valley slickness to win in Trump’s America. But there’s another big batch of energy coming against Pelosi from the new kids, saying she ain’t woke, or at least she’s so old you can’t tell if she’s woke or dead. I confess I’m not up on which wave of feminism we’re up to these days, but obviously Nancy ain’t current with the current current, you know what I’m sayin’? So some are sayin’ she’s too coastal, and others are sayin’, not enough. And if you give an old war horse like Nancy an opening like that, she’s liable to run right through it, which is precisely what she is doing.

As I also previously opined, Nancy’s strongest card is the one she never flourishes in public, money. Decades of successful politicking have given her a whatever it is the kids call a Rolodex these days to die for. Nancy knows moolah, and she knows how to dish it out, but will her cash “moderate” the Democratic Party enough to keep Neoliberal Nancy in control? And even if it does, how much can Nancy do as a mere faute de mieux (aka “lack of a better”)? I think the big issue for the Democrats to address is income inequality, but the “answers” suggested by Bernie Sanders in 2016, and very popular with both the “blue collar” and “woke” wings of the Democratic Party, strike Neoliberal Alan as absolutely the wrong way to go.

The “unifying factor” for Democrats on the campaign trail in 2016 largely seemed to be “Medicare for All,” the original Bernie riff, which appeals to old Paleolibs like Thomas Frank and Michael Moore, who think they’re helping the party return to its New Deal roots, as well as the new kids, like the famously famous (and no doubt privately envied and resented) Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who would be rockin’ that socialism, if they knew what it was. The problem is, as representatives who actually represent blue-collar districts know, real blue-collar folks don’t want Medicare for All. They want Medicare for themselves, for those who have “earned it” and not for those who haven’t—you know, the “Government, hands off my Medicare” crowd, who love “white socialism” but hate “welfare”.1

“White socialism” includes employer-provided health insurance, which is, of course, highly subsidized, because it’s effectively tax free income, though most people tend to think of it as entirely free—at least it ought to be.2 I think, when push comes to shove, that voters with employer-provided health insurance will not be enthusiastic about either giving up what they have for whatever “Medicare for all” would be, nor do I think that those on the current Medicare program will be interested in “sharing”. Certainly, the Republican “war” on the Affordable Care Act should be reversed, and the Act itself strengthened, but the Democrats need to address the broader issue of income inequality, and income stagnation, beyond health care alone, if the Democrats are going to reclaim a respectable share of the “less than college” white vote. But how?

The Democrats’ dilemma is discussed, not too intelligently, in a recent post appearing in Slate, written by an unenthusiastic Jordan Weissmann, “Kamala Harris’ Big Policy Idea Is Even Worse Than I Thought”, going after the “LIFT The Middle Class Act” being pushed by California Senator Kamala Harris. Okay, the name’s not catchy, and it’s scarcely more than an expanded version of the Earned Income Tax Credit, and it’s too generous, providing as much as $6,000 a year to couples with an income of less than $100,000 a year, but, to my mind, it’s very much a step in the right direction.

Weissmann’s first complaint–and his take is not nearly as “outraged” as the headline would suggest–is that too many U.S. households–almost 30% of them–are above the $100,000 a year figure to make this a winner. Bernie Sanders, he says, was smarter, promising free college tuition for everyone, even if your daddy is a billionaire. My reaction is just the other way–that we shouldn’t be boosting the income of households who are making more than the national average. Catering to kids who think that socialism means that everything is free isn’t going to win back blue-collar workers in the Midwest.

A bit surprisingly–and showing how the Democratic Party has “drifted”–Weissman doesn’t emphasize what would be an “old Democrat’s” immediate complaint–that the bill wouldn’t do anything to help the non-working poor, the group that so many liberals insist on always going to bat for–see, for example, the recent “outrage” over proposed changes in the food stamp program voiced by Paul Krugman.

It’s certainly “arguable” that the food stamp proposal, if it had passed, which it did not, could have been administered in a punitive manner at the state level, but the main criticism voiced by Krugman and others was the mere idea that poor people should be forced to do anything, that cutting benefits to an able-bodied person simply on the grounds that they refused to look for a job3 was the ultimate in Republican villainy. Many Democrats continue to insist on throwing themselves into the “welfare trap” that Barry Goldwater and Ronald Reagan dug for them so long ago, while Weissman wants to dig a new welfare trap–welfare for the upper-middle-class. Harris, at least, is trying to craft something that will reach the “real” middle class.

Working to expand the notion, and respectability, of outright income redistribution should be a major Democratic endeavor over the next two years. The Earned Income Tax Credit, because it’s tied to employment, because it provides people with cash, because it’s “invisible” (unlike food stamps), and because it “travels” across state lines, unlike eligibility for most assistance programs, all make the EITC a near perfect vehicle for addressing the “shocking” fact that the free enterprise system, while the only system capable of creating the kind of economic growth that can actually provide a decent standard of living for all people, is not in any sense of the word “fair”. I subscribe, at least in part, to the various theories floating around arguing that the “happy times” of declining income inequality following the two world wars until recently were the product of a variety of factors extraneous to capitalism itself. Today capitalism is continuing to better the lives of millions, and even billions, around the globe, but while the globalizing of capitalism is great for the Third World folks,4 it’s “disruptive” here, now that U.S. corporations can no longer get away with charging monopoly (or at least oligopoly) prices and thus can no longer afford to pay monopoly wages.

The decline in wages for many Americans is popularly regarded as the result of imports, but in fact it’s the decline in bargaining power for American workers now that they are competing with a global work force almost as skilled and ten times larger. Automation, not imports, is destroying the old manufacturing jobs that paid union wages—wages that were high because of the unions, not because there is some magic to manufacturing jobs that lets blue-collar workers earn white-collar salaries. As the manufacturing jobs disappear, workers find new ones, but they aren’t joining unions. Unions have nothing to offer private-sector workers these days because they can’t protect them from international competition.

Hatred of international competition and immigrants drove the Bernie boom in the Democratic primaries in 2016.5 Pelosi’s California money, and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer’s New York money, won’t fund a Democratic Party that runs on Bernie’s issues. If Democrats are going to be competitive in the big Midwestern states that they lost to Trump in 2016, they have to address the issue of income inequality, and a massive expansion of the Earned Income Tax Credit, so that it pushes millions into the middle class, is the most direct and effective way to do it, a way that is politically acceptable to lower- and middle-income whites, and a way that is compatible with coastal priorities—i.e., a globally competitive economy, which, if you actually care about reducing poverty worldwide, instead of engaging in moral posturing, is absolutely the only way to go. Unfortunately, “the left” is much more inclined to posture.

Income stagnation and growing inequality strike me as the great domestic issue that the Democrats need to address to recover some ground in the Midwest, particularly the rural areas, where we’ve been losing by massive margins, as I’ve discussed earlier. I obviously don’t think the party can win by going further left, which would only increase our margins where we’re already winning. Health care is closely related to income stagnation, since people are paying more and more for it. Whether cutting the rate of increase for health care costs—correctly identified by President Obama as the “real” crisis, rather than the increases in entitlement costs—can be dealt with in a politically palatable is a (very) open question. But at least proposing a meaningful plan of income redistribution tied to employment would put the Democrats in good position for a decent shot at unseating President Trump. And, barring nothing but good luck as a result of well-deserved investigations into this grossly corrupt presidency, we’re going to need all the good positioning we can get.

Afterwords I’m going to skip moaning about the dangers of getting into fights over impeachment (a terrible idea no matter what, because the Republican Party is as corrupt as Trump is, or rather as corrupt as Trump needs it to be) and engaging in excessive “wokeness”, since I have a general aversion to culture wars. There are a variety of other policies for increasing incomes for lower and middle income folks, which I’ve discussed here, and here. A particular policy, to be pursued at both the federal and state level, is the diminution and (dream on) eventual end to the “War on Drugs”, which gives hundreds of thousands of young black and Hispanic men criminal records while wasting billions on police, prisons, courts, etc. This is the best thing Democrats can do to improve the situation of blacks and Hispanics in this country.

I discuss “white socialism”—the deliberate tailoring of all the major New Deal programs to exclude as many blacks as possible—here in the course of a beatdown administered to poor, pitiful Paulie Ryan and here, in the course of an extended beatdown administered to the poor, pitiful Democratic Party. ↩︎

AARP has an ad showing old folks talking about the issues, and what this country “really” needs, and the closer is provided by an old broad who says in a grandly self-satisfied voice “affordable health care!”, as though the viewer is supposed to exclaim “Affordable health care! Affordable health care! Of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” Because of course what people mean by “affordable health care” is free health care. ↩︎

The bill, which passed the House but never would have passed the Senate, had a number of waivers that made the bill sound much more “reasonable” (though, again, the impact of these provisions would likely depend on administration at the state level). But what enraged Krugman et al. was the notion that self-sufficient employment was considered a more desirable outcome that unrestricted welfare dependency. Because for Krugman et al. the real purpose of these programs is to allow “us” to prove how generous “we” are, not to improve people’s lives. ↩︎

Great, but, uh, massively destabilizing, for both First and Third World countries, which is why virtually everyone is seeking protection of some sort from global economic forces, often with strong nativist overtones. ↩︎

Sanders was, of course, not at all racist, but he did originally advocate shutting off immigration—an easy position to take in Vermont, one of the whitest states in the union, and very few immigrants, legal or no. Pressure from Hillary drove Bernie to the left on immigration. ↩︎

[violetsystems]

#personal

I took the train behind my apartment eight stops to a town called Cicero to meet my mom for a matinee last Saturday.  She introduced me to Blade Runner when I was little.  I always tell the story that she made me put my hands over my eyes during the movie’s one brief nude scene.  It kind of sticks with me I guess because she exposed me to a lot of interesting stuff when I was little.  At the same time she was pretty adamant I learn the right way.  She was a Russian Political Science major, linguist and read me Tolkien at an early age.  Her birthday is November 2nd and we usually celebrate day of the dead together.  I figured it would be nice to take her for an early birthday present to see it.  She didn’t make me close my eyes this time.  She actually really enjoyed the movie.  I did too.  There’s a lot to talk about.  For me it was a nice introduction to Denis Villeneuve and his cinematographer.  I watched Sicario the other night and there’s some really intensely poetic shots.  I also like the performances and relationships a lot in both movies.  I felt like it was very human.  It certainly felt human to watch it next to your mom in the theatre.  With things going on in the world lately I’ve been retreating in my life to things that make me feel more human.  I was just thinking to myself that it had been only maybe nine months since I abandoned alcohol.  You can’t unlearn bad habits overnight.  Sometimes it takes some intense soul searching and facing yourself in the mirror.  I don’t have the kinds of anxiety in my head that I have over the years.  I also don’t have the expectations or bizarre delusions of what success really is.  Things were not been great for awhile in my personal life.  I never could sit and watch things be corrupt.  I always had to say something unpopular year after year.  It was mostly the truth and it kept me alienated.  I finally decided to leave all the anxiety of this city behind and travel around five years ago.  I went to Hong Kong and Seoul.  I stayed in Chungking Mansions in Tsim Sha Tsui and visited my cousin who taught at a World Peace School.  She lived there with her husband from Beijing, daughter from Kenya, and half Chinese half Swedish son.  Years later in the back aisle of a movie theatre in Cicero I would finally learn those memories were indeed real.  I was not actually a replicant.

I do think the most human relationship in the movie was the love between two synthetic beings.  It was dystopian enough to sit next to my mom uncomfortably and look at my phone longingly.  Love is a complex thing to think about.  I think about it often when I run.  Days like today it hits me in the elevator when I miss my floor twice staring at my dash.  In this climate it can feel like there is no love to be found.  There is so much ugliness cracking through these days.  It sucks up the air we breathe and the energy we have to resist.  Watching a science fiction movie with my mom was a nice way to share some peace for once.  I didn’t play cards down the street this week.  Sometimes being social can be exhausting.  Everybody wants you to be the peace maker.  Last time I checked I didn’t work for the UN.  But I am a Global citizen in some respects so I try to stay reasonably open.  Two people approached me on the street yesterday and knew who I was.  They had been to a show I threw back in February of 2016.  I was doing everything by myself at that time.  I wanted it to be safe even back then.  I wanted it to be accountable. It was small.  But it was good enough for people to mention it to me on the street.  I’ve always tried to be humble above everything.  And honest.  It pains me to be honest just like everybody else.  A friend had written something about men being very anxious about talking about feminism in this climate.  You should be if you have something to hide.  That’s all there is to it.  If you feel sickened by what’s happening regardless of how you identify you should let the voices be heard.  And we should listen to every horrible detail in horror as men to be really honest.  Because we are not doing anybody any favors looking away from it.  I wonder sometimes what men are afraid of when it comes to hearing women out.  I don’t really have much to say about it personally.  I listen.  I think about how I could change.  It doesn’t matter how much better I am in some people’s eyes.  Being accountable isn’t a fun experience.  A friend had said something to me about sharing music all these years.  I’ve shared a lot.  Jokes on the internet.  Things I am thinking about.  I do wake up at 5 am sometimes paralyzed thinking for some sort of inspiration.  Some sort of plan for the day to be better than the last.  I have far less distractions these days.  Or the ones that I have just mean a lot more to me.  It’s been a long fight to make that believable.  For me it was resisting.  I can’t live in a world like this without trying to be something better.  That may just be five hundred miles of running since April talking.

The most important thing you can do in life to me is learn how to love.  I spent a lot of time traveling by myself trying to connect with elements of my past.  Maybe that was part of loving myself in a city that shunned me for not accepting the status quo.  There was a time traveling to Korea and Japan was an escape for me.  It’s funny more people know about me in context in those places than back home.  I was  a guest in those countries.  And I found a lot of genuine places that treated me like a human being.  Took me at face value and judged me by my actions.  Years later there’s places that still remember me by name and the conversations we had about America and how I view it.  I talked a lot about Daul Kim back then.  She was my first real insight into Korea.  I felt like she was a voice of a lost generation there.  She took her own life and it’s a horrible lesson to carry around in the back of your head.  How fetishization can reduce people to objects.  How loneliness exists in some of the most beautiful people.  How the world is built upon oppression, sexism and racism.  How in some way it’s hard to fight when nobody remembers what battles you lost.  I posted a photo of a ticket to the Comfort Women Museum in Seoul the other day.  A friend had talked about how men are afraid to talk about rape culture.  A friend from Seoul was the one who suggested I go to the Museum.  We went out for coffee, ice cream and eel a few times and I listened to her talk about Korean politics.  I’ve been on dates over the years but I haven’t been intimate with anybody for awhile.  I don’t believe in rushing things.  I don’t really believe in expectations.  I believe I was led to the comfort women museum to experience it.  I’ve told the story here before.  You start in the basement.  I went alone.  You work your way up.  The basement is obviously the most disturbing part.  They tell the horrible stories first.  And I cried.  I still cry.  I don’t give a fuck what anybody thinks about my tears.  That is undeniable pain.  I didn’t want a medal for it.  I got a ticket and a time stamp.  Later I worked my way up to the top and stared out at the garden.  Two older women approached me and asked why I came to visit.  I told them.  They had come from Japan to visit.  It was a very human moment.  And an honest one to face alone as a man.  Kind of like watching a 300 foot tall naked woman break Ryan Gosling’s heart in the movie theatre next to your mom.  Really glad I’m not a replicant.  Really glad my heart is not broken through all of this.  And really appreciate the people who inspire me to love more openly and honestly through these dark times.  It’s a gift to be able to feel it genuinely.  The Kate Bush discography kind of helps too. <3 Tim

[sexandthecityandme-blog]

Episode One - Sex and the City (Pilot)

Once upon a time, a 25-year-old girl from Southern California found herself single, phoneless, and shopping for half-off lace bras on a Friday night. 

That girl...was me. Hey there!

Sure, I’d usually try to plan to be somewhere cooler on a Friday night, and yeah, I’d love to be dating someone, but the reality is that none of this was exceptionally out of the ordinary...except the part about me being phoneless—that was odd. 

Odd because: A.) It’s 2017. No one is phoneless. B.) I’m obsessed with my phone. There’s a lot happening on Twitter these days! C.) I don’t even have a good story about how I lost my phone. I just LOST it on a perfectly normal day. It might’ve fallen out of my lap when I got out of the car, it might’ve fallen out of my bag while I was at the beach...it was misplaced in a spectacularly boring fashion. 

Either way, I’d purposely put off getting a new one and left myself in a phoneless state for four days, telling most people it was “on the fritz,” because just being phoneless? That’s odd. And in going off the grid, I’d gone slightly off the rails. In the past four days, I’d

bought a set of tarot cards created by a woman named, I shit you not, the White Witch of L.A.

listened to a LOT of Crystal Castles

masturbated 3 times

worn a silk robe to work (over a tank top)

Hurricane Harvey had just past, Hurricane Jose was barreling down, Hurricane Irma was here. “TIME IS RUNNING OUT” the homepage of Weather.com was screaming at Floridians. The Northwest was on fire. Bangladesh was underwater. Oh! Trump was, and still is, presi[gag]dent. 

And I’m wearing silk robes and shopping for lace bras. Masturbatory! In every sense of the word.

To make matters worse, somewhere between the rack of Heidi Klum-brand bras and the rack of Wonderbras, I had the AUDACITY to think to myself, “What bra size am I, really? And which Sex and the City character would I be right now?”

…And then I quickly and devastatingly realized I was none of them. Charlotte would never be irresponsible enough to lose her phone, Carrie would shop at La Perla, and Miranda…OK, it actually seemed like kind of a Miranda thing to do. Maybe I was a Miranda? 

Anyways, Samantha wouldn’t touch any of it with a ten-foot pole, which depressed the hell out of me. In my younger days (and by that, I mean as a 14-year-old watching heavily edited versions of SATC on TBS), I’d wanted to be a Samantha. I didn’t totally understand her whole vibe (because again, heavily edited episodes), but I knew that she was *sassy* and didn’t seem to take any shit.

After that, 20-year-old me decided I wanted to be Carrie: I ran my school’s weekly sex column (despite having only had sex with a whopping total of six men), started casually smoking cigarettes, and dreamed of moving to New York. 

None of that really played out.

But if we were doing a ~five-year check-in....14-year-old me wanted to be a Samantha, and 20-year-old me wanted to be Carrie—what did 25-year-old me want? And really, wasn’t this a deeply stupid question?? And, really, how could I know the answer to this stupid question when I’d only seen the terrible movies and maybe 15 episodes, tops???

Anyways, I decided that in my current single state, the best thing to do would be to rewatch the whole series, see if any of it held up, and pray my life got interesting enough to do some Carrie Bradshaw-style musing on the side. 

A few weeks ago, a fellow writer told me she’d interviewed a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, who’d told her that her biggest regret in life was not journaling more. This was a woman who’d made a career of entering war zones, pining about forgetting to fucking journal. 

Naturally, me and my writer friend decided this would be the year that we’d make an effort to keep track of our lives. And this is is how I’m going to do it.

There are 94 episodes of Sex and the City; I’ll try to watch about two episodes per week and keep up this project for the next year or so...or however long it takes! And I’ll probably watch those terrible movies, because like any girl, I FUCKING LOVE that scene where Carrie tries on all the wedding dresses.

Yes, New York, it was finally time for me to tackle the age-old question: 

Could an old Clinton/Bush-era show keep up with new tricks? Could a self-proclaimed 2017 Feminist worried about falling wages and that fucker Mike Pence taking away her reproductive rights lose herself in a frivolous show about sex and fashion???!

Or something like that. I live in Orange County, what do I know. OH, and I haven’t had sex in over a year.

Sooooooo..yeah! Now I’m sitting in bed in one of my cheap new lacy bras, queuing up SATC while eating a pumpkin scone and drinking a Ballast Point Mango Even Keel like a reeeeeal basic bitch. 

But just for the record, since no one’s around to confirm or deny: this lacy half-priced bra is doing fucking WONDERS for my boobs.

Let’s. Begin.

Episode One - Sex and the City (Pilot)

OK, I didn’t think I’d need you guys to watch along with me, but guys: I know all of y’all locked down someone’s ex-boyfriend’s mom’s HBOGO password to watch Game of Thrones, so PLEASE go watch this ep so you can understand what I’m about to say:

This series, one of the most iconic of ALL TIME, opens with “Once upon a time...” and then a TERRIBLE story about some girl from London getting stood up by a man in New York. 

AND the worst part is that this girl? CLEARLY? has an AUStRALIAN accent??!> 

Our OG British heroine Elizabeth (WHO WE NEVER SEE AGAIN) pronounces this, “Oy don’t unduhsteeeend.” I AM SHOOK. BRITISH MY ARSE.

IMPORTANT!!! THIS is how we’re introduced to Carrie Bradshaw:

I can’t believe I didn’t buy cigarettes for this!

And after dramatically stamping out her cig, she launches into this gem: 

“The end of love in Manhattan. Welcome to the Age of Uninnocence. No one has breakfast at Tiffany’s, and no one has affairs to remember...Cupid has flown the co-op. (then, directly to camera) How the hell did we get into this mess???”

That....is not great. But! I FORGOT SHE BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL AND TALKS TO CAMERA IN S1. Frank Underwood, get fucked—what you’re doing ain’t new, ya toxic white male.

Young Me didn’t know about Shine Theory and T Swift fake feminism, and I unabashedly hated Charlotte. 2017 Me is much more woke but...it is still very difficult for me to...support Charlotte. 

Her opening line is, “Men are threatened by successful women. If you want to get these guys, you have to keep your mouth shut, and play the rules.” 

I know that she’s probably technically right, but also... I HAVE NEVER DISAGREED WITH ANYTHING MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

(Also: Charlotte YORK?! Y’all gonna write a series about NEW YORK CITY and name a main character York. C’mon Candace Bushnell, boo, you’re better than that, right?)

“What women really want is Alec Baldwin!” a very unimpressive white male specimen just squawked at the camera for no reason. 

The first time we meet Samantha, she advocates having sex like a man: sex with no strings—or feelings—attached.

14-year-old me was like, “HELL YEAH GIRL THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ ABOUT. ALSO WHAT’S SEX LIKE.” 

Aaaaaand 25-year-old me doesn’t feel much differently.

“The right guy is an illusion—start living your life!” —Samantha Jones

So Carrie does it! And she does it in the most delightful way! She lets an ex eat her out, and when he pokes his stupid head up out of the sheets to groan, “My turn,” she *kisses him on the forehead* and leaves. *Chef’s kiss!*

She leaves feeling “powerful, potent, and incredibly alive”...

...and then, because women can never win, and must always be punished for our actions in one way or another, she drops the contents of her purse on the ground, and is humiliated when a hot stranger (BIG) picks up a roll of condoms and hands them to her. Fuck that blushing; good on ‘ya for being prepared, Carrie.

Me one second: You know, I don’t think being a Miranda is terrible! All men ARE assholes!!

Me one second later: Oh Jesus Christ, Miranda is harsh as hell

Later in the episode, Carrie realizes that somehow men like it even more when we decide to have sex without feelings...and suddenly, men win, again. 

“Did all men want their women promiscuous and unattached? Why didn’t I feel more in control?” 

This is the part I must’ve missed. In my years of idolizing the Samanthas, the Rozs, the Elaines, telling my college-self that sex without feelings was the way to go, that dating a lot of men would be adventurous and FUN™, this is the part I could never get a hold of: when you’ve convinced yourself that you’re strong enough to detach from everything, sometimes you really are strong enough to do it! But sometimes, you’re lying.

Well, after that hard-hitter, time to escape back into the show, and—OH NO. Big just got introduced as the “NEXT DONALD TRUMP except younger and much better looking.” Welp, now I’ll never be able to root for him again.

The Donald Trump thing does not completely step on the catharsis of watching this episode, though. That catharsis comes from the relentless tearing down of 90% of mediocre white men we encounter throughout the pilot. 

After Charlotte turns down sex with this guy (whose name is CAPOTE DUNCAN because of course it is lord help us), he gets into her cab, gives the cabbie the address of a club, and says:  

No one’s actually this terrible IRL, but I LOVE that if we’re gonna make someone overtly horrid to signal to the audience that they are the WORST type of human, it’s the Eric-Trump-lookin’ ass white dude named CAPOTE.

“And so, another Friday night in Manhattan crept towards dawn...”

And as Big creeps up to Carrie in his town car and (?!) instructs his driver to honk at her on the street at 3 a.m. (?!), it *dawns* on me: 

FUCK, he really does remind me of Donald Trump!

Here are the words he says to Carrie during their first real conversation:

“Get in, for chrissakes.”

“You mean like a hooker?”

“You’re not like that.”

“You’ve never been in love.”

He condescends and embarrasses the hell out of her...and she’s smitten.

And I get it. 

I mean, I absolutely get it on a personal level, as a girl who’s been “He’s Just Not That Into You” levels of attracted to someone whose teasing I took to be flirting. More than once.

But also...leaning into the Donald Trump comparison a little hard here, on a larger level... That’s how Tr*** succeeded, right? By tearing us down again and again, making us feel bad about ourselves, just like every shitty man ever, just so he could position himself as someone who could come in and help us (the “us” here is a general “us”; I certainly didn’t buy that shit). 

He fucking NEGGED us, and so did Big. And it worked for both of them. 

Big is the only rich white man in this episode who isn’t relentlessly dunked on, even though he seems to be just as terrible as Byron Fingerbottom or whatever that last guy’s name was. My official position on this as of episode one? FUCK BIG. And FUCK all rich white men. And also, DON’T fuck rich white men, EVER.

By god, watching this series actually might be harder than I thought.

Finally, I need you guys to know that they hold this shot

FOR FOUR WHOLE FUCKING SECONDS 

and then the episode fades out!!!!!! WHAT. HOW DID THIS PILOT EVER GET PICKED UP.

Episode 1 Wrap-up

Best line: “Abso-fuckin-lutely.” —Big, whom I detest at this moment

Best look: The fashion in the pilot is disappointing as hell! Everyone wears plain black dresses all episode. There is ONE mention of Manolo Blahnik, and it’s not even in reference to a pair of shoes Carrie owns/is currently buying. The most exciting things that happen outfit-wise are the above peek of leopard, Miranda’s ridiculous commitment to huge white collars peeking out of everything...and this ephemeral ray of light:

Carrie, hair thrown up, in something that looks like a men’s pajama shirt, eating a carton of chocolate ice cream. 

As I sit here putting the finishing touches on this blog, also wearing blue men’s pajamas (v cheap and v much from Primark) and hand jewelry, inexplicably, with my hair thrown up, eating a bowl of Cocoa Krispies (I just started my period k) in a bougie apartment that I’m paying WAY too much for, I couldn’t help but wonder....

Was I actually already more of a Carrie than I’d thought?

Perhaps, there was hope for me yet.

Eh. Perhaps not.

[thedistillerymarket]

Inspired by Literature: The Neapolitan Collection

Those who know me well — or follow me on Instagram — know that I love the following three things: jewelry, rescue dogs, and reading! Literature has always been such an important part of my life and personal growth, so it only seemed natural to pull inspiration from my favorite readings into my designs.

The hidden stories of each vintage find I source from around the world really drives my creative passion for jewelry making. So, it was important for me to find a way to translate the meaning of these pieces into something more discernible — talismans inspired by powerful stories. And after last month’s gift guide for the Invention of Wings Collection, I was excited by the idea of starting a quarterly blog series to share these stories with you!

For my newest collection, I was influenced by the fiery feminism of The Neapolitan Novels by Elena Ferrante. This four-part series spans from the 1950s to present day and explores the ideas of being a woman from two different perspectives, both of whom grew up in a very oppressive culture. Ferrante tasks her readers with questioning whether it possible to rise above these gender biases and cultural norms. In my opinion, Ferrante was able to put into words the inner heart’s experiences in a way that brings a lifetime of truths to light. Her ability to be raw and brutally honest through her storytelling perfectly conveys the complexity and contradictions of human emotion.

After finishing the series, I knew I wanted to put together something that represented the grit and emotional contradictions present throughout each of the four books. Naples, the cultural backdrop of each novel, was depicted as dirty, poor, and corrupt — a city steeped in history with flashes of wealth that the characters can never seem to attain. So, likewise, this collection is made from antique and historical Italian pieces, some tarnished with the stories they’ve lived over the years. There are also a few pieces representing the elusive and coveted status of wealth. 

Here’s a little more on the symbolism behind each design (I promise, there are no spoilers):

Antique Italian Maria Pendant Necklace

This vintage Italian pendant of the Virgin Mary, dated 1830, is inscribed with a prayer that loosely translates to “O Maria conceived without sin pray for us who have recourse to you.” I’ve become fascinated with the female form of the divine recently, which is almost completely non-existent in modern Christianity. And although Catholics don’t technically consider Mary divine, she does represent that for many people. Since feminism is tightly woven in the fabric of Elena’s novels, particularly the male “invention” of women, I wanted this piece to symbolize the existence of a God in female form, as an antidote to the misogyny of the patriarchal culture of 20th century Naples.

Antique Sterling Bulldog Necklace

The bulldog pendant, found while antiquing in Philly, has an aggressive quality to it that reminded me of the overarching theme of having to “overcome” being female. Ferrante writes in her novel Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, “And no one knew better than I did what it meant to make your own head masculine so that it would be accepted by the culture of men; I had done it, I was doing it.” This quote embodies Elena’s struggle to take on masculine characteristics in order to succeed in society. In contrast, the vintage Italian rosary beads are closely associated with the veneration of the Virgin Mary, representing the strong feminine form inside.

Dante's Giornata Necklace

I love this piece so much because it couldn’t ring more true to the time period of these novels. This vintage Italian brass pendant of the esteemed Italian poet, Dante, dates back 50-80 years and — having grown up in Naples during the 1950s — the characters in these novels would have most definitely been reading Dante in school. The symbolism behind this piece speaks to the power of education to change one’s status and destiny in life. In The Story of the Lost Child, Ferrante writes about Lina, “She felt humiliated at having always ascribed to a power to things that in the current hierarchies were insignificant: the alphabet, writing, books.” This internal conflict is addressed in the novels by juxtaposing Elena’s journey with Lina’s, who has made the more courageous choice to stay in Naples and face her demons head-on without much schooling.

Italian Cornicello Necklace

Cornicello translated into English means “little horn.” This object is considered by Italians to be an amulet against the evil eye, which is said to curse the forces of generation (nursing mothers, babies, etc.) The horn is often connected to the Virgin Mary, and so I thought it would be an interesting piece to pair with the underlying themes of misogyny, as both Elena and Lina lash out at the men in their surroundings in order to thrive. To me, this silver horn pendant symbolizes the violence necessary to protect the girls’ independence.

Saint Vincenza Gerosa + Bartolomea Capitanio Necklace

St. Vincenza Gerosa and St. Bartolomea Capitanio, depicted in this century-old Italian pendant, were both devout Catholics dedicated to serving and teaching the poor and orphaned. Since the power of education played a big role in the lives of Elena and Lina, this was a perfect piece for this collection. There was a recurring presence and influence of generous teachers in The Neapolitan Novels, and it is clear that the children from the poorer areas would not have received any encouragement otherwise. Amidst so much tragedy, with so much stacked against them, they believed in the power of education, even though all evidence for the usefulness of their efforts was to the contrary. 

Victorian Gold Filled Watch Fob Necklace

This 18th century Victorian-era fob would have been connected to a pocket watch chain for stamping and sealing envelopes with wax. This pendant is gold-filled and crafted by a fine jeweler, which I felt best represented Elena’s struggle with whether to prioritize her wealth and status.  Fashion was a way that Elena differentiated herself from the neighborhood. However, she documents her continued struggle with the shallow nature of things in Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by saying, “I had fled, in fact. Only to discover, in the decades to come, that I had been wrong, that it was a chain with larger and larger links: the neighborhood was connected to the city, the city to Italy, Italy to Europe, Europe to the whole planet. And this is how I see it today: it’s not the neighborhood that’s sick, it’s not Naples, it’s the entire earth, it’s the universe, or universes. And shrewdness means hiding and hiding from oneself the true state of things.”

Vintage Anchor Pendant Necklace

“I feel like the knight in an ancient romance, wrapped in his shining armor, after performing a thousand astonishing feats throughout the world, he meets a ragged, starving herdsman, who, never leaving his pasture, subdues and controls horrible beasts with his bare hands, and with prodigious courage.” This passage from Elena in Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay, depicts how Elena feels about Lina — who stayed in her hometown and fought courageous battles. The anchor represents this rooted connection to their neighborhood in Naples. The pendant is from Italy and dates back to the mid-1900s. The mixed chains provides a grittier look to the design and is a composite of various vintage chains. 

Vintage Emerald Pocket Knife Necklace

There is a key scene in the novels where a school-age Lina stands up to the neighborhood bullies, who later move up in the ranks to become the neighborhood crime bosses. As they were approaching her and Elena in an effort to assault them, Lina pulled a knife in self defense and scared them off. Lina recalls in Ferrante’s writing that  she “decided that it was urgent to become as autonomous as possible.” In a very obvious translation, I depicted her strength to challenge the abuses of women with this vintage, emerald and black checkered Italian mid-century pocket knife.

Vintage La Pieta + Year of Jubilee Necklace

This necklace features an antique Italian metal pendant engraved with the Pietà on one side and a commemorative scene indicating the 1975 Year of Jubilee (year of mercy) on the other side. Pietà represents the Virgin Mary holding crucified Christ, which can be connected to these novels through its theme of women surviving to suffer on the behalf of men. In Ferrante’s The Story of a New Name, there is a passage describing this destiny. “They had been consumed by the bodies of husbands, fathers, brothers, whom they ultimately came to resemble, because of their labors or the arrival of old age, of illness. When did that transformation begin? With housework? With pregnancies? With beatings?” In contrast, the “Year of Jubilee” on opposing side of this pendant balances that harsh reality with its representation of hope and mercy. 

Vintage Sterling Locket Necklace

This delicate vintage locket containing an original address card was found during a recent trip to Philadelphia, and it seemed like the perfect fit with Elena and Lina’s journey to rise above their environment and place of origin. In Lost Child, Elena is quoted saying to Lina that her moving back to Naples was “an experiment in re-composition. You’ve managed to have your whole life here, but not me: I feel I’m in pieces scattered all over.” Similarly to the Vintage Anchor Pendant, I wanted this piece to embody Elena’s internal conflict with her loyalty to her hometown of Naples. 

 Have you had a chance to read The Neapolitan Novels? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the series!