#did you guys know you can just color your doodles on paper any time??? whack

[deadwooddross]

Would you love them if they were a(n alarmingly large) worm 🥺

[kian-bera]

Shattered

“It can’t be true.” Alexander muttered to himself. He heard someone talking to him, but he couldn’t focus. His world had been shattered. His heart was in a million pieces, only one thing held it together. Her name was Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was Alexander’s light in the darkness. She had helped him when his heart was broken before; at least last time, the shards had been mended. This time, there was no return, not until her letter arrived. They were to get married once the war ended. If the battle went as planned, would be soon.

Alexander soon passed out from exhaustion. In his state of confusion and hurt, he dreamt he had seen his mother and John. They were warning him to wake up, to run. He distantly heard gunshots and screaming. It aroused him from his sleep. Sitting up, he saw doctors running in and out of the medic tent, supplies and men in hand.

Alexander stumbles from his cot. He was pushed aside by rushing doctors. They soldier in their arms was missing a leg. He glanced around and saw more soldiers dead or bleeding. He dared not look, but he set his eyes on his own leg which was missing. He couldn’t feel pain, nor take the feeling that was stirring in his head. The ginger sat up screaming in bed. Eliza sat up right after, trying to comfort her husband.

“Shhh it’s okay Alexander. You are home. You are safe. Lay back down.” Elizabeth helped her husband lay back on the bed. Alexander was dripping in sweat.

“It was so real.” He muttered. “The war, the field. I couldn’t feel it though. I felt nothing.”

“I know, I know Alexander. You’re safe now though. It will be ok. I promise.” The door to their room creaked open. A little four year old poked his head into the room.

“Mommy? Is daddy okay?” Philip asked slipping into bed with them.

“Daddy will okay. He just had a bad dream, but dreams can’t hurt us.” Elizabeth told Philip.

“Really? If they can’t hurt us, why is daddy always crying or screaming in his sleep?” The boy asked curling into his mother’s arms.

“You see, sometimes people go through really scary things. You can’t always forget them, because they hurt you when they happened.”

“Like when I lost Mister Fuzzy?”

“Yeh, like when you lost Mister Fuzzy.” Elizabeth answered kissing their son on the forehead.

“What did daddy loose?”

“He lost a friend that was very dear to him. You would have liked your Uncle John very much, and he would have loved you.”

“What was Uncle John like?” Philip inquires crawling over time his father. Alex gave a small laugh, wrapping his arms around Philip.

“Your uncle John was a brave man. He had blonde hair, and the brightest blue eyes. He once even gave me a horse named after one of his family’s estates and he told me the horses hair color reminded him of my own.”

“He gave you horse because it looked like you? That’s an odd gift dad.”

“I know, but I cherished that horse very much. Soon after that, your Uncle John was taken away to a bad place. He could’ve died, but he was strong, like you. He got through it, and was eventually allowed to come home if we sent one of the Redcoats home.”

“Why was the redcoat staying with you?”

“He did something mean and had to stay with us.” Alexander told him.

“What did he do?”

“Something very mean. He tried to hurt daddy.” Philip gasped and fell onto the pillow next to Alexander.

“What else daddy! What else!”

“About Uncle John?”

“Sure!”

“Well your Uncle John loved to draw. He often doodles on the sides of his papers when we had to take notes at a meeting. He loved wildlife.”

“What did he like to draw?”

“He liked to draw birds, turtles, and sometimes people. There are some old drawings in this house somewhere where he drew different soldiers that were in camp with us. One of his best ones was probably a sketch he did Major Talmadge.”

“Oohhhh who is Major Talmadge.”

“You probably know him as senator Talmadge.”

“Oh the tall guy with the nice wife who gave me candy at the party a few months ago.”

“Oh so that’s who gave you the candy huh.” Alex said tickling Philip. Philip giggled and nodded his head yes.

“Nice to know. Anyways Senator Talmadge was one of the most important people in our whole army.”

“Why?”

“He stole information from the bad guys.”

“But stealing is bad.” Philip said sitting up. “You and mommy taught me not to steal. How come he got to steal stuff?”

“Because it was his job. Senator Talmadge got paid to steal stuff.”

“I want to get paid to steal stuff. I bet I would be really good at the job.”

“No he did it while we had an argument with the bad guys. After we came to peace, he quit his job and became a senator.”

“That’s sad. A job where you get to steal stuff all the time, how cool is that. I would be the best stealer.”

“Philip Hamilton, you will not do any job that involves stealing. That is a very bad thing.” Elizabeth told her son. “I will disown you if you decide to be a criminal.”

“No you wouldn’t mom. You love me.”

“Yeh mommy you love me.” Alexander teased. Elizabeth grabbed a pillow and whacked him in the face.

“You are a grown man. You should know better Alexander, then again I guess all men still need to be taught how to act like a man.” Elizabeth set the pillow back down rolling her eyes at her son and husband. There was banging of pots and yelling from outside.

“Well my dear Betsy, Happy New Year.” Alexander said smiling.

“Happy New Year my darling Alexander. And my little darling Philip.” Elizabeth held them close. Crying came from down the hall. Alexander gave Elizabeth a small smile, before rolling out of bed. He walked down the hall to find Angelica junior up in her crib crying. Alexander slid over and picked his small daughter up in his arms. He went over to a rocking chair in the corner, quietly singing to his daughter.

“Hush little darling, don’t you cry. Daddy’s going to sing you a lullaby. Hush little darling, don’t say a word, daddy will buy you a hummingbird.” Alex giggled. “Or a parrot. You would like a parrot for your birthday? Yeah, okay. Daddy will get you a parrot for your next birthday.”

Alexander stood back up, taking little Angie back to the bedroom with him. Philip was curled up asleep in Elizabeth’s arms. The banging and yelling went on for several hours into the night. Everyone was asleep, but at four in the morning Alexander was still awake. The street had quieted down as people went home, or too celebrate. There were still a few drunk people roaming around. Alexander took Angelica back to her room, tucking her inside her crib.

He proceeded to walk out into the front steps of his home. The night was cold and crisp. Alexander grabbed a thick jacket as he took a step into the dark air. The cold hit like a blast at first, compared to the inside where wooden fires kept the home warm. He went back inside, grabbing his scarf and gloves before taking a walk around the block.

Snow crunched underneath his feet. He saw a small group of children throwing snowballs. He figured their parents must be at the party that was being hosted inside. Silhouettes danced across the curtains, music drifting from the door that was open. He smelt ham and potatoes drifting from the home as well. Walking past, he saw ladies and men dressed up in their best sipping on Champagne and cider. They were laughing, and talking as if nothing in the world mattered.

Alexander has to be awake in two hours in order to start New Years breakfast. He promised Elizabeth she could sleep in while he made breakfast. It was the least he could do for making her beat their children. Alexander pulled his coat tighter around him as snow began to fall once more. He found a tavern that was still open and slipped inside. Many men and women were dancing and singing. Alexander found a stool unoccupied near the end of the bar.

“You don’t seem very festive.” The tavern owner told him.

“Not today. My family is alone asleep. I didn’t want to wake them with constant pacing, so I somehow through my travels ended up here.”

“Did you travel far?” The owner asked.

“No, I live right down the street with my wife and our two small children.”

“What would you like?”

“Oh nothing please. I came to clear my head, not fog it.”

“One drink on the house. Please I insist.” The wonder poured him a glass of whiskey. Alexander took it not wanting to be rude. He glanced around, slowly sipping on his drink. He noticed people come and go as the hours went on. Alexander eventually finished his whiskey before falling asleep at the counter. When he awoke, the had a blanket draped over him. He rubbed his eyes and saw the tavern empty except the owner who was cleaning glasses.

“Excuse me sir, may I acquire the time?” Alexander asked running his fingers through his hair. The tavern owner turned to him and smiled.

“Morning, and it is seven in the morning.” He nodded. Alexander carefully took the blanket off and folded it, placing it on the stool.

“Thank you sir for the blanket.” Alexander tipped his hat to the owner before walking back out into the cold. An inch more of snow had covered the ground. He hurried his way home to find his family still asleep upstairs. He took his outside attire off, placing it in a coat closet near the door. He went to the powder room, and rinsed his hands before heading to the kitchen.

In an icebox, he pulled out a few eggs and some bacon. He had given the cook the day off to be with her son. This was all on his own. He placed some coal in fire before taking a chance at cooking. It wasn’t long before he had failed. He threw his mess away, sitting down at the table in defeat. He sat back up when he heard tiny footsteps coming down the stairs. He saw Philip race towards him followed by Eliza carrying their daughter.

“I’m sorry Elizabeth. I tried. I’m not a cook though apparently.” Elizabeth walked over and kissed the top of his head.

“It’s fine Alexander. You did your best and tried to do something nice. I appreciate it more than anything. We can wait until lunch. Don’t forget, my parents have invited us over for lunch.”

“Yes, I remember.” Alexander told her giving a small smiled. He got up from the table and ran his hands down his face. “I’m going to get washed up. I’ll be back in a bit.” Alexander walked upstairs. When he got upstairs he fell back on the bed. Taking a deep breath, he collected him and got up to get ready. He shook off the horror of the night before, and got ready for the new day, for the new year which has now begun. This year he had promised to be a better husband. To be a better father. He wanted Elizabeth to know that he was dedicated to the family. He knew he was not the best. He didn’t have the proper role models growing up to teach him how to be a good father and husband. He had to teach himself, and learn from those like George Washington. With a third child on the way, Alexander wanted to be more attentive to what his wife needed and wanted of him.

An hour had passed before Alexander came back downstairs. Philip was trying to read a new book he was given for Christmas. Angelica Junior was asleep in her mother’s lap. Elizabeth was covered in flour.

“I made some bread to take to my parents. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No of course not. That’s completely fine. Do you need anything? Water? A blanket? I want you to be comfortable. I hate when you are not.”

“Alexander, I’ll be fine. I promise. This is not the first pregnancy I’ve been through.”

“Yes, I know, but I want to be a better husband.”

“You already are an amazing husband Alexander. You are also an amazing father. Nothing you do could change that. I know who I married, and I married an amazing man who can do anything he sets his mind too. Do not worry my darling Alexander, you couldn’t do anything better than you already are.”

“Are you sure my dearest Bestsy?”

“Yes I’m sure.” Elizabeth got up and kissed Alexander. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too Elizabeth.” Alexander hugged her close. He felt her warm breath against his skin and smiled. “How did I get so lucky with you.”

“One May call it fate, others God’s plan. I don’t care which, because I got a good man.” Alexander giggled at her little rhyme. He still would never understand how he got lucky, but he never questioned it. He loves Elizabeth and she loves him.