#did u really need a generic soldier mob. did u

[bunnymedley]

not to harp on but isnt that so lame. we need more bad guys lets just make more humanish caricatures that are just boringly evil and dont fit in at all

[peckin-pat-marlow]

Tagged by @captain-teddy-reese

50 Questions: OC Interview

1. What’s your name?

“Howdy. I’m Patricia Marlow.”

2. Give us your full name

“...Ah fine! My middle name’s Winifred... Patricia...Winifred...Marlow.

3. Do you have a nickname? If yes, what is it and how did you come to have it?

“I’ve been called shorter of my names: Pat, Patsy, Patty Cake (don’t bother askin’ why.) But folks way out south west know me as “Peckin’ Pat Marlow. I shot my town’s sheriff the day after...his obstruction of justice. Gave him that kiss he wanted afterwards. And it became a habit with anyone I killed as leader of the Marlow Marauders.”

4. What species are you? (Human, werewolf, etc? Or are you an alien?)

“Last I checked...I’m still human.”

5. Where were you born?

“I was born in a town the south west of texas. It was famous for its large lake and gold mine a few miles out. Just make sure you have ginseng and special vegetation for the snakes and lizards...I wouldn’t head there if I were you. Hasn’t rained for 13 years.”

6. I see. And that would make your age...?

“That would make me...36 years old.”

7. Okay, now...are you a good guy, or a bad guy?

“What I’ve done doesn’t make me a saint, but it don’t mean I have bad morals.”

Part II: Tell Us More About Yourself...

8. How would you describe your personality?

“Back before I was soft, sweet and kind..had to be for the kids, but I still held myself firm for the adults as well. When the town reared it’s ugly head...I became a different person; ruthless, vengeful, hard hearted, didn’t take shit from no person when it came to me and my gang. It take no responsibility for indirect harm because they didn’t handle circumstances better! I was willing to do whatever it takes to get vengeance not with death, but with nothin’ for ‘em left! But I couldn’t my gang be taken with me in my final moments.

But after that last score, when I suddenly found myself alive and rescued. I began to mellow out...I still had my temper and was satisfied with what I’ve accomplished, but I became more aware of how the world was changing. So I just wander the lands to keep an eye on this changing world and hope it’s for the better.”

9. Would you say you're someone who can handle pressure?

“I’ve had moments where I was frustrated...but I’ve managed to maintain my composure around misbehaving kids and disrespectful adults.”

10. Do you like to read?

“Well, yeah. What kind of teacher doesn’t like to read?”

11. Favourite Colour

“I’ve grown fond of the colour black.”

12. Do you get along with others?

“Just because I get along with people doesn’t mean I like them. I do so to get the job done, and if they don’t cross me I choose them to stick close and see how things turn out.”

13. Do you have any enemies?

“Many could call me their enemy, but the one I call my nemesis won’t bother me anymore...”

14. How about friends?

“I became friends with my gang through the trust and teamwork we had for over 13 years. I’m sure they’re all fine and free. I have met other folks but I can’t call them friends just yet.”

15. Are you patient?

“I can be...When your a teacher you have to be patient to know more about situations.”

Part lll: Hypothetically...

16. Suppose that you could become any creature you know of. What would you pick, and why?

“I’ll say a cougar. They’re just as vicious, independent, dexterous, with some self indulgence. They can still purr, y’know?”

17. One of your enemies in question 13 just complimented you. Response?

“Which one? If it’s Gill then he’s complimenting me with sarcasm and rage since he’s still not found the loot. His generation’s gonna be diggin’ for years and won’t be the ones to find it.”

18. One of your friends in Question 14 just insulted you. Response?

“I prefer their insults as criticism. But at least their words won’t mean they betray me straight away.”

19. If you could change anything about yourself...

“I can’t see me changin’ anytime soon...but I guess I gotta find somethin’ else to do without second guessin’.”

20. About your home...

“It ain’t like a manor, but It had enough space for my parents and my things...But it was so damn expensive thanks to Gill’s daddy...it got burnt down by an angry mob, along with my school, Miles’s stand and his donkey, Sally-Ann...

Part IV: Now We Get Personal

21. What're your parents like?

“They were geniuses compared to the other folk in town. Both of em met in the city where they got their degree. I don’t think their families approved though, as I haven’t heard a thing about my grandparents. But they were good people using their money to buy two properties, for my home and school.

But I can’t give em that. Their last wish was to make sure I improved the head on my soldiers before they slowly died together from Diphtheria...I didn’t know they passed until Miles came to check on me.”

22. Do you have any siblings?

“None. I was an only child, thank goodness. If I had a younger baby sister, Gill would target her more than me...”

23. What's your occupation?

“I used to be a teacher in my hometown. Since I was the only women with the knowledge thanks to my parents education, I took up the role. Taught both kids and adults to read and write.”

24. I see, that's a good job to have. Do you like it?

“I enjoyed my job when it came to the kids. Nothin made me feel better than givin’ them somewhere to be while adults did their own thing, though I wished I could have give them more subjects, but reading and writing was more tolerable to teach than the other things that adults couldn’t make sense of. As for the adults...I won’t lie there are some worse than the children. Way worse.”

25. Are you seeing/dating anyone?

“No...”

26. Married/Engaged/Other?

“I wished for that with someone once.”

27. If yes, how did you meet?

“...I met Miles Wiley when I first came to town after my parents moved. He was a vegetable farmer with a donkey he claimed was over a century old from the vegetables he ate. Many folks who can’t afford the doctor’s fee often came to him for tonics, ointments, all sorts of ailments that were reliable, especially for the gold miners who came for the juice as repellent for the lizards. Before me he was the only stranger in that town...He made me welcome even after I took over the town’s teacher and helped repair my school, only askin’ for the spiced apricots I made.

But the town found out how close we really was from our first...and last kiss. He only wanted to fix me after being broken down for so long...We tried to escape by boat, but of course Gill had his ferry and me and Miles weren’t much of a shot...He wasn’t even armed but he shot him...he shot him even as I held him.

28. Tell us your biggest secret.

“Aside from people thinkin’ I’m dead? Everyone knew about me and Miles so I got no big secret to hide.”

29. Your worst fear? You don't have to answer this one if you don't want to.

“After what the Sheriff did, I fear being put into that situation again where I was taken advantage of right under others noses...Then there’s being in the middle of a ring of fire.”

30. Favorite food?

“I may had made spiced apricots once upon a time but it ain’t my favourite food. I don’t have it as much as I like to...but I do miss that Pecan pie.”

30. Favorite drink?

“Spiced Island Moonshine. I just discovered this recipe and it tastes like the goods of home and warm escape. I could kiss Marcel for makin’ this but... then I’d have have to kill him.”

31. Tell us one thing you're the most proud of.

“I would have said getting revenge on Gill for killing Miles was the best thing that happened...But I never imagined letting the group go free after our last score would take that. Some graduation, huh?”

32. Something embarrassing? You don't have to answer this one, either.

“Whatever is embarrassing is what happens when I’m drunk...”

33. If you didn't answer Questions 29 and/or 33, tell me why.

“I may have mellowed out from my recovery, but I have my damn pride still.”

34. Is that a good reason?

“Just take it as you will...”

Part V: Closing

35. Are you satisfied with your life?

“I felt like my life was nearly wasted than satisfied. I loved Miles but I wasted my life in that town. I remembered my gang more fondly than the town. But I’m still young to do somethin’.”

36. Anything you feel like you have to do? It can be something long-term, like a bucket list, or something you need to do right now.

“Well my vengeance has been achieved and leading a gang is something to tick off. I’m gonna start looking for things as Patricia Marlow and not Peckin’ Pat.”

37. Any hobbies?

“I have developed a thing for watching shows in the theatre, and I used to play the banjo to sing songs with kids. I’m sure I haven’t gone too rusty.”

38. Quick, you get one wish! What did you just wish for? It's alright, you can tell me...

“I wish Miles was alive....That’s the one thing I can’t have back.”

39. How would you describe that wish? Good? Bad? Selfish? Selfless? Other?

“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us...Folk wouldn’t have approved of us, but...we’d be more free if we got out together.”

40. Have you been honest with these questions?

“That I have...Now that you know me it’s all about what u gonna do?”

41. Your personal quote?

“The snake which cannot cast its skin has to die. As well the minds which are prevented from changing their opinions; they cease to be mind.” - Friedrich Nietzsche

42. Do you like change?

“It’s what I fought for when things didn’t change enough...”

43. What's your most valued possession?

“Since they burned Miles’s body, I wasn’t left with much to remember him. It was a good thing I found his hat after I left town, but I haven’t taken it out of my satchel since.”

44. Anything else you feel like sharing?

“Not right now, I ain’t.”

50. Last question!...yup, that's it! How do you feel?

“Like a few pounds has been lifted off my shoulders. Or it might just be one of my firearms...Haha! Don’t worry, I just gotta reload.”

[lilhemmo]

Mobile Masterlist

If you want to just scroll through everything, my tag is: /my-writing

If you want to send me feedback/requests, feel free to go to MY ASK BOX

HERE is the link to my Wattpad account. I have full multichapter WIP’s that I post there, as well as a compilation of the one shots I’ve posted here.

Everything I write is safe for any age/rating practically. I will put the ratings and warnings in each summary so you will know ahead of time. 

Thank you so much for your continued support and requests! I hope you guys enjoy reading! x

Most recent update: June 4, 2019

L U K E    H E M M I N G S

- Lilies and Lattes:  Summary: You’ve had a soulmate tattoo since you could remember, but there’s no way it’s right. You’ve never been to Seattle, and you don’t plan on going. Word Count: 6.2K | Rated: T+ (heavy language, sensual scenes, alcohol)

- Double Shot: Prompt is - “Why are you so jealous?” Summary: You’re the manager of Bean There, Done That Cafe when you notice a certain blonde orders one too many shots of espresso. Word Count: 2.1K | Rated: K - Art and Whiskey: Prompts are - “You’re lucky you’re cute.” and “I’m too sober for this.” Summary: You attend the Hemmings Corp. annual Christmas party and meet a new friend. CEO!Luke AU. Word Count: 2.7K | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol) 

- More Creamer Please:  Summary: Luke is a famous CEO and you work for a magazine that makes money off of his late nights and poor decisions. You try your hardest to keep him out of the bad spotlight, but your boss has other ideas.  Word Count: 14.2K | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol, sensual scenes)

- Only Time Will Tell: Prompts are - “You come to my room and wake me up at 4 am to cuddle?” and “What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.” Summary: You and Luke have been best friends since the womb. Now you’re all grown up.  Word Count: 2,800+ | Rated: T+ (language, alcohol, emotional)

- Playing Catch Up: Prompt is - “Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything.” Summary: You knew Luke before the fame. What does that mean for the two of you when he’s become an international popstar? Word Count: 1,600+ | Rated: K

- Woman Up: Prompts are - “Where do you think you’re going?” and “I need some time.” Summary: Something is wrong with you and Luke. What you had was strong, special. Now you’re not so sure. Word Count: 2,000+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, language)

- Stray Hairs:  Summary: Luke’s hair is annoying him, so he asks you to braid it. Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- Just Admit It: Prompt is - “I think you’re just afraid to be happy.” Summary: Luke is too honest sometimes. (Gender Neutral Reader) Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

S W E E T   P E A

- the forbidden fruit: Summary: When Hades is cast away to the Underworld for his own protection, he discovers a mortal with whom he has a connection. She is most definitely not what he expected. Word Count: 15K+ | Rated: T

- death & promises: Request is - “Royal!AU + Fake Marriage” Summary: Prince Sweetwater, known to you as Sweet Pea, has been your best friend since before you could remember. It’s time for you to get married to a prince so you can become queen, but that means that you and Sweet Pea will no longer be allowed to be friends. So, how do you solve this? Just pretend to marry Sweet Pea. Problem solved... or is it? Word Count: 4.9K+ | Rated: T

- bloody knuckles: Request is - “Scars + Bathtub!fic” Summary: Sweet Pea is used to patching you up, but with every scar and every bruise, he begins to fear more for your future. You shun him for trying to put a stop to your boxing career, and in giving you space he also allows you to fall further into self-destruction. Word Count: 3.3K+ | Rated: T+

- war in switzerland: Request is - “Flirting Under Fire + Bar!AU + Injured!fic” Summary: It’s been a while since you’ve been back to Riverdale. You thought you’d never go back, if you were being honest. But something draws you back, and Jughead thinks you need to celebrate at the Whyte Wyrm, which has recently become Switzerland, a place of neutrality. Until a fight breaks out. Word Count: 2.4K+ | Rated: T

- marked for the kill: Request is - “Roommates!AU + Dancing!fic” Summary: One night, after being marked as a sacrifice for the Gargoyle King, you’re forced out of the Northside. Your wandering for a new place to lay your head brings you to the nastiest part of the Southside - where the Ghoulies have secretly set up home. As they wave knives in your face and threaten to take your life, who will come to your rescue? Word Count: 3.2K+ | Rated: T

- the both of you: Request is - “Pregnancy!fic + Anger Born of Worry” Summary: You have a big secret you need to tell your Serpent husband, but will you be able to when he doesn’t come home one night? A call from FP brings you to Riverdale General, where the love of your life lays battered and bruised. Word Count: 2.3K+ | Rated: T

- i’ll always be with you: Request is - “Baby!fic + Fake Dating” Summary: After the father of your child left, the only constant that remains in your life is Sweet Pea. Over the years, he helps you when you need a hand planning your daughters birthday party, but it’s not uncommon to be mistaken for a couple. Sweet Pea just rolls with it. Word Count: 2.1K+ | Rated: T

- despite it all i loved you anyway: Request is - “Arranged Marriage!AU + Love Confessor Trope” Summary: You are betrothed to Prince Sweetwater. Of course, you believe he’s just like all the others - only here for your hand in marriage to take over your kingdom and call it his own. However, during your courtship leading up to the wedding, your forced courtship turns into something more. Word Count: 5.5K+ | Rated: T

B U C K Y     B A R N E S

- Dissension: Summary: You and Bucky hate each other. But you know what they say - everything changes when you’re dead. MULTICHAPTER | BUCKY X READER

- Slowly, And Then All At Once: Prompts are - “I shouldn’t be in love with you!” and “I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.” Summary: You’re the nanny of a successful single father. All of a sudden, you can’t imagine living life without him and his daughter. Word Count: 2.2K | Rated: T+ (language, sexual allusions)

- Gunpowder & Silk: Prompt is - “I’m the tailor who always makes/hems your nice clothes but I don’t know you’re the head of the mob so why are the police barging into my shop?” Summary: Riley runs a tailoring shop. Mr. Barnes runs the mob. MULTICHAPTER | OC

- Denial: Prompts are - “Just admit I’m right.” and “How many fingers am I holding up?” Summary: Bucky is your sparring partner and you’ve taken one too many hits with the metal arm. Word Count: 900+ | Rated: K

- Incidental: Prompts are - “I know it’s three in the morning, but I can’t find my cat.” and “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again.” Summary: The five times Bucky had to make an excuse, and the one time he didn’t. Word Count: 9,000+ | Rated: T+ (language)

- Broken: Prompt is - “Ignore me, I didn’t see anything.” Summary: You’re complaining, Bucky is listening. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, death mention)

- Not Quick Enough: Prompt is - “Almost Kiss + Anger Born of Worry” (BuckyNat) Summary: The one time Natasha wasn’t paying attention, it almost costs him his life. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T

- Nepenthe:  Summary: Soulmates weren’t real, the Soldier had decided. But, if they were, his was going to be very disappointed. Word Count: 1,800+ | Rated: T+ (violence, language, alcohol) MULTICHAPTER | BUCKY X READER

- Unfair: Prompt is - “You want to know what happened to me? You! You happened to me.” Summary: You’re sick and tired of Bucky’s suicide missions. You decide to call him out on it. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T (language)

- I’ll Take Care of You: Summary: You’ve always been overly attentive to Bucky. You overhear him complaining about you one night so you decide to take a step back. Turns out he actually misses you. Word Count: 2.3K | Rated: T

- Confessions: Prompts are - “The door is over there.” and “I don’t believe you.” Summary: Bucky has loved you for a long time, but for some reason you won’t believe him. Word Count: 1,200+ | Rated: T+ (language)

- Blessings: Summary: You’re going to get a raise, but Bucky doesn’t like how you got it. Even so, a beautiful thing comes of it. Word Count: 2,500+ | Rated: T+ (language, sexual references, alcohol)

- Reinvented:  Summary: You and Bucky attend a summer concert, and he asks you to dance. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T

- Ice Water: Summary: Bucky is stubborn and so are you. Word Count: 1,300+ | Rated: T+ (language, emotion)

- I Offer You a Lifetime: Prompt is - “I have loved you my entire life.” Summary: You and Bucky have known one another for a century.  Word Count: 1,500+ | Rated: T+ (sexual allusions)

- Absent: Prompts are - “Please....stay...” and “If you really love me, you’ll let me go...” Summary: Bucky goes on a mission. You don’t think he’s coming back. Word Count: 2,300+ | Rated: T+ (language, violence)

- Battle Armor:  Summary: You’re all alone on top of the roof of the Tower, and an unexpected visitor joins you. Word Count: 1,600+ | Rated: K+

- Free Falling: Prompt is - “I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people per cart and now we’re stuck at the top.” Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: K

- Void: Prompts are - “Where were you when I needed you?” and “It’s time to say goodbye.” Summary: This conversation between you and Bucky is difficult, but it had to happen. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T+ (alcohol, language)

- Teeth:  Summary: You don’t smile. Until there’s one exception. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T+ 

- Winter Winner: Prompts are - “I came here to win you back and dammit, I’ll do whatever I have to do.” and “What are you doing here?” Summary: Bucky doesn’t like the way he feels when he sees you with someone else. Word Count: 1,100+ | Rated: T+ (sexual implications)

- All Mine: Summary: Bucky has a tendency to get jealous.  Word Count: 1,800+ | Rated: T+ (language, sexual references)

- Undeserving:  Summary: Steve tells Bucky that he should just go after you, but Bucky isn’t so sure. Word Count: 1,400+ | Rated: T

- Worthy:  Summary: Bucky is always questioning why there is a random hammer lying about during their “family meetings” in the Tower. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- History in the Making:  Summary: Bucky puts his years of history to good use by helping you with your homework. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

- Get Bent: Prompt is to use the phrase “Get bent.” Summary: Mario Kart can be vicious. Word Count: 400+ | Rated: K

D E C K E R S T A R

- i belong to the devil: Prompts are - “Huddling for Warmth + Established Relationship” Summary: Chloe becomes much more gutsy the moment she finds out she has The Devil on her side. Word Count: 656 | Rated: T

- demons in the night: Prompts are - “Erotic Dream + Sleep Intimacy” Summary: Chloe isn’t used to sleeping with The Devil. At least, not yet. Word Count: 656 | Rated: T

P E T E R     P A R K E R

- Self-Destruct: Prompts are - “I’m not alright! Okay? Are you satisfied? I’m not alright.” and “The problem is I don’t think I can stop thinking about you.” and “Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I ever had to do.” and “You saved me from myself.” Summary: Peter is suddenly absent from your life, and you’re not sure you can handle it any longer. Word Count: 1,200+ | Rated: T+ (violence, blood)

- Doctor Darling: Prompt is - “You’re bleeding all over my carpet!” Summary: This isn’t exactly how you thought you’d find out that your boyfriend was the webslinger that New York couldn’t stop talking about. Word Count: 1,500+ | Rated: T+ (blood, language)

- Why?: Prompt is - “Why are you like this?” Summary: You’re not sure why it has to be Peter that is always sacrificing for the greater good, for the world. You don’t know if you can take it anymore. Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- I’m New to This: Prompt is - “So you hate me now too? Join the club.” Summary: You’re not sure how, but you’re pretty sure you’re jealous of Tony Stark. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T

- Webslinger: Prompt is - “See, now was that so bad?” Summary: You take a ride with the webslinger of New York. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

K A S T L E

- by your side now and forever: Prompt is - “Hospital!AU + Secret Relationship” Summary: Karen is tired of playing sidekick. Word Count: 900 | Rated: T

- i found my savior in a bar: Prompt is - “Fake Dating + Holiday!fic” Summary: Karen is being stalked by one of her exes, and she picks the protective looking guy at the bar to be her savior. Word Count: 800+ | Rated: T

T O M    H O L L A N D

- Daddy Issues:  Summary: Tom through the stages of becoming a dad. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- Oh My Darling: Summary: Tom really does love calling you ‘darling’. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: T (sexual innuendos)

- Please?: Prompt is - “I need you to forgive me.” Summary: Monopoly is a relationship ruiner. Word Count: 150+ | Rated: K

L A N G D Y N E

-  perfect timing: Prompt is - “Coffee Shop!AU + Mutual Pining Trope” Summary: Two people with matching schedules end up bumping into one another in the coffee shop. Word Count: 1,000+ | Rated: K

-  warm in the snow: Prompt is - “Secret Relationship + Royal!AU” Summary: Hope loves the snow. She also loves the servant boy. Word Count: 700+ | Rated: T+

-  i will save you from yourself: Prompt is - “Historical!AU + Bodyguard!fic” Summary: Ser Van Dyne is in charge of keeping Prince Lang out of trouble. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

B E L L A R K E

- RECOLLECTION: Prompt: “I don’t remember that!” Word Count: 250+ | Rated: K

- Silent Love: Prompts: “You’re special to me.” and “I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Word Count: 500+ | Rated: K

- my skin burns: Prompts: “Soulmate!AU + Royalty!AU” Summary: Clarke is betrothed to a man she does not know. So what becomes of the relationship when she realizes he may very well be her soulmate?  Word Count: 700+ | Rated: T

- keep my secret safe: Prompts: “Detective!AU + Criminal!AU” Summary: When Detective Blake shows up to the scene, a certain blonde is cleaning her knife and restocking her gun. It’s another chance to put her where she belongs. Word Count: 500+ | Rated: T+

R E Y L O 

- unexpected allergens: Prompts: “Flowershop!AU + Hospital!AU” Summary: When a stranger falls unconscious in Rey’s flower shop, she thinks it is her responsibility to make sure he gets to a hospital safely. Word Count: 600+ | Rated: K

[grandthorkiday]

Mob AU! “Playthings” Part 10

[Link to mob!au anon’s “Playthings" fic tag]

[Start at Part 1]*

(*Note: Link is editable for other parts, just change the number. For mobile users, tag is “playthings part1”)

Since Loki had began giving evidence, he had become anxious. Well, more anxious than usual. And being moved hadn’t helped. He had thrown a fit when they had placed him in the car, demanding to stay. He had sobbed in the back until they reached Val’s small house in the suburbs.

“It’s only temporary,��� Val explained to him. She had had to repeat this once again to her wife, Carol.

“He looks terrified!” the blonde woman hissed as they looked out the window to the back garden where Loki was idly milling around, smoking a cigarette. “You really think you guys are going to get him to testify?”

“He’s stronger than he looks.”

That wasn’t just words; Loki had witnessed and been a part of several of the Grandmaster’s schemes and still understood right from wrong and had survived. Even Strange admitted for all the two steps forward one step back of therapy, things could have been a hell of a lot worse.

[read more cut]

The young man found a week of peace at Val’s home. Stark didn’t call asking him to give more evidence and Strange and his tape recorder only came to talk about his current mood, now that he had finally agreed to proper therapy. Carol and the twins absolutely found him a delight, telling Val at every turn how he was witty and charming. He even helped clean out the garage during his stay.

Val wished her week had been just as easy. While Loki staying in her home would be fine for a week, any longer would put her and her family at risk. Most of the usual department safehouses were in the city, which presented the opportunity for either discovery or worse. Tony and Strange had dangled the idea of putting him in Bellevue, but that had been turned down flatly. They could not be sure if anyone from an orderly to a member of the board was on Gast’s take. Hela had offered to take him to her townhouse in Albany, but when she confessed she was leaving for DC for three to four weeks, that was rejected. There was only one other possibility.

“No.”

Odin was a brilliant attorney. He had been a brilliant soldier. He was a generous philanthropist. His name was constantly being bandied about when it came time to select a new attorney general or DOJ director. His office was a showcase of awards, metals, and photos of him with his famous clients. Behind his desk was a large oil painting of himself and his late wife, dressed splendidly in their best eveningwear. But it didn’t escape either Val or Bruce’s notice he didn’t have a single picture of his daughter and sons.

“No,” the older man repeated from behind his desk. “I will not take some jumped up thug into my home.”

“He’s your son!” Bruce said incredulously.

“He’s the son of a friend. I wanted to hand him over to his other family but his birth mother and my wife convinced me to take him in. And look how that turned out.”

Val shook her head. “Sir, I don’t for one second believe that.”

“Believe what you want. I’m not having him in my house.”

“So what?! If he can’t find a place you understand he’s as good as dead, right? Fifty-fifty chance Gast just kills him. Either that or gets another ten years of torture, rape, and trauma!”

To his credit, Odin could not stare at either as he shrugged.

“Regardless whether or not if he’s your blood, this is your son! Your other son is still in danger and Loki is killing himself trying to help him, in anyway he can!”

“My ACTUAL son was kidnapped with the help of that addict. I don’t see why I should lift a finger to help him.”

Bruce shook leaned over the massive desk, his voice tight. “You think what now?”

“Loki was on and off drugs since he was sixteen. Marijuana mostly, but we did find him with that Sakaar stuff,” Odin shrugged as though it was obvious. “It was the belief of several of my private investigators that he ran up a debt and helped kidnap my son to make up for it.”

“Did your private investigators talk to Fandral? Anyone in that bar that night?!”

The old man did not meet his eye.

“Did your private investigators ever get to talk to Loki in person?”

No reply.

“For the last few weeks, we’ve gotten a front row seat to all the god damn misery your SONS have been through. From being forced to have sex at gunpoint to beaten within an inch of their lives. Having to make the decision whether or not to compromise their morals for a day of peace was worth helping a madman. Your daughter has been doing her damndest to help, but she can only do so much! Maybe you should actually step up and help too! Or do you actually not give a damn?!”

“What did Frigga think of what your PIs found?”

Odin seemed to bristle at the mention of his late wife before softening. His voice was soft and filled with sadness as he spoke. “She never believed them. She would never leave me, but she may have well done after that after the last report I received. Never quite forgave me. She always hoped they would return. That they would turn up on our doorstep, safe and whole. Even at the end….,” he wiped a tear from his remaining eye.

“Your sons,” Val pressed gently, “wanted so much to see her at the hospital before she passed. Loki says they fought like hell for that right. Think about that; being denied saying goodbye. It’s all they wanted. Imagine finding out on the evening news that she died. They were a few blocks away and they couldn’t do anything. They wanted to be there for her. They wanted to be there for Hela. For you.”

The old man’s face was red, but not from anger. He wiped his face and loudly sniffed. “W-where is he?”

“He’s staying at my home. I can bring him here tomorr-”

“Today. I want him here today,” Odin said gruffly regaining composure. “And this Strange-”

“Dr. Strange,” Bruce corrected, still excited at their achievement.

“Yes, him. I want him to come along. I want him to recommend a nurse or psychologist to live on site. One that can stay through the trial.”

“Of course!”

“And a security guard.”

“I think you’ll need an entire team, to be honest.”

“One should suffice.”

~2017~

“And we implore you, Oh Most High God, to take your servant Frigga into your Kingdom. So she may enjoy the Resurrection on that wonderful day-”

Loki gripped Thor’s hand and looked at the large picture of Frigga. She was beautifully smiling at them, the photo taken at one of her numerous charity events. There had been a collage back at the church of more personal family photos. He had nearly collapsed seeing the last picture he and Thor had taken with her on her birthday before they were kidnapped. Her bright silly face as she let them blow out her candles. He could still remember her taking a finger and swiping some frosting on Thor’s nose affectionately.

He squeezed his brother’s hand harder.

There was a slight buzzing from the older brother’s pocket and they both grimaced. Even here, at the burial of their Mother, they couldn’t get away.

Thor fished the phone out of his pocket. There was a small mercy they had not been able to sit near Hela, her family, and Odin. They probably would never live down the stares of disappointment.

‘Master <3: How much longer? Miss u 2’

He showed the message to Loki who turned back to the burial ceremony. “Just a little longer. Please?”

Thor nodded and quickly typed out, ‘Maybe hour. Reallllllllly long family stuff’.

The casket was finally being lowered, the priest intoning one final blessing. Hela’s daughter threw a rose onto the deep mahogany box before being pulled back. A woman from one of the theater groups Frigga had funded began to sing. A few people moved forward to sprinkle dirt onto casket.

The phone vibrated again.

‘Master <3: u boys better not b staying for the reception. We got food @ home!’

'Master <3: come back. Need my boys’

“Loki,” Thor nudged him gently. “One more text and we can be in trouble.”

“I want to say goodbye!” He was whining, and a few people in front of them looked around.

'Loki wants 2 stay. Please?’

The response was quick.

“What did he say?”

“He says we can stay as long as we want if we agree to spend a few nights with him in his room. For comfort.”

Loki wiped his face with the back of his hand. Their bodies were a small price to pay to stay a little longer. Thor wholeheartedly agreed.

[mestos]

BnS act 9 was perhaps the worst thing ncsoft did to jyansei/cricket and OOF im still feeling it. as if cricket hasn’t cried enough in the whole story (when master hong dies, when hajoon dies, when they see master hong in a flashback, when the old pupils bid them farewell, when ayona dies) this was too much oh my god!!! this was sthe worst

spoiler ramble undercut

alright ill try talk abt the act in chronological order so starting off, 1) why chundoon’s voice so deep lmao. in kr it was such a soft boy’s voice then in NA its like hansen from fgo where they gave him a 40 year old chainsmoker’s voice SLKGJSDKGH 

the other thing i liked tho from the start is the whole premonition thing where it ends with cricket’s death

me, internally: why is it ALWAYS zaiwei

but anyway i loved how this led up to going into the backstreets of the hao bazaar and beating up some punks, leading up to this golden exchange with yunma fei. i laughed SO HARD

empress: you were illegally street fighting in hao bazaar? cricket: (sweats) .....sorry empress: that’s cool i did too at one point

YUNMA FEI IS HONESTLY SO COOL. best empress (sorry ms cyg) 

anyway the whole exchange with yunma fei was pretty nice, because she lets you read a letter. cricket’s hesitation was so cute! i can imagine them being rlly flustered, and yunma fei just shaking their head like “dude you saved the continent like twice? why wouldn’t you have authority” sgksjdgh

so the letter is basically dowager tayhu (her name was ak in kr? idk) passively aggressively asking for HM Hero to show up and yunma fei and cricket both almost agree to decline the invitation...till nuya shows up with news about ryu. then cricket does a complete 180 and is like “sorry. i have to go” which is kinda....omg....i get that u love your kids but its due to these impulsive decisions that lead to disaster!!! its why your efforts are erased in the end!! just decide to decline for once sweetie!!

even yunma fei tries her best to convince you, but you and her both know that there’s no stopping you once you made your mind to go somewhere. but yunma fei’s concern was nice enough, i love the friendship and bond you share with her-- she cares about you a lot, and so do you. other than the fact she is an empress, cricket is gentle with her too

anyway so you go to dasari palace, after a bit of a scuffle with an old captain who worked in the stratus empire, which led to a very pretty map as i posted briefly before. when u arrive at the banquet...everything is super suspicious lmao!! even from just stepping in you can feel that this was so set up to go against you. bns story rule of thumb: someone invites you to someplace, they’ll be after ur life. 

one thing tho is i love how cricket is so caring of their students,, when jinsoyun was feeling sick, they offered to be by her side the entire time and hold her hand..but of course, soyun can’t take the room and runs off. cricket chases after her but is stopped by the guards, and i find their frustration rlly cute sdjkgh

then you meet the dowager and ryu! ryu, no memories ryu. who wasn’t hanging with ken after all LMFAO anyway he asks to spar with you and cricket is forced to act like this is the first time theyve met and u can feel the pain in their responses

so sparring with ryu was easy enough. afterwards general hondu wrecks the party, then cricket decides to go rest. but of course, not before seeing their lovely darling daughter soyun! they decide to check up on them and their concern for their wellbeing was sweet (a lot more doting in kr but i digress lmao) 

afterwards, in typical blade and soul fashion, the minute u go into your resting room shit hits the fan and assassins, stratus soldiers, fiends all go after you and your pupils. after a frustrating (i’m a flame gunslinger! i don’t have any mobbing skills for crying outloud!) escort mission you meet choi jina, who i BARELY remembered but you meet her briefly at the start of act 2 and she helps you with the wraithbloom mess

she’s also pretty much jung hado genderbent but we won’t talk about that

with the help of choi jina cricket and fam go into a hidden chamber...a place they’ll be in for a while give or take LMAO. after some discussion, cricket decides “my amnesiac kid can’t be left in this shithole so i have to go back to him” (although in kr, cricket refuses but is eventually persuaded by bunyang) and choi jina and cricket go through....a fucking stealth mission, because after the murder of the minister (which was NOT cricket’s fault--they were just doing their job of eliminating demons) they become a wanted man! 

now, it wouldn’t be so bad if i had a functional laptop but i don’t so, that shit took me an entire hour and a half. i gave up at some point and just walked on the ground rather than roof to roof, because that is the WORST stealth mission in the entire game!! why!!! holy crap!!! i could rant over and over about the stealth mission but ill save that for twitter...

anyway after stealth mission, you knock out ryu, choi jina carries him, and back in the hidden chamber you go. ryu suddenly ~remembers~ all the fun times and tells you dowager tahyu’s planning a war! cricket, not finding it suspicious at all that ‘suddenly son remembers me? wow!’ is like ‘ok ok my boy, take me away, i gotta warn, yunma fei’ then they act like prisoner and shit and it was hilarious with lyn walking sprite cause you can’t walk in front of him HGJKG

ryu catches a spy - one of yunma fei’s - and after cricket writes their letter, they give it to senha and go. then there’s another escort mission! when you’re back with the fam, its a team effort to go to the great dragon pulse. and hell, i wouldve just made ryu do all the fighting cause my computer really hated that whole mission and i barely got through HA

anyway, shortly before the escort mission, bunyang and cricket have a small argument--bunyang is always so worried about their master, and cricket can’t do anything about it; it’s their job to do all these things, they can’t refuse because of the bigger picture. cricket promises to come back safely and they can be a family again, and in general the whole argument is really heartbreaking because HA. guess what happens after the escort mission

before i get to that, yunma fei actually arrives - alone, so no jung hado with her - shortly before shit hits the fan. she plops through the dragon pulse and it leads to some horrifying revelations. she said that cricket’s letter told her to come alone because they are sick and need help, and cricket says they never asked for that? and then its a mess because now yunma fei, talus empress, is alone and it’s all in the dowager’s plan. 

quickly running back to their students with the empress... but they were too late.

ryu betrayed them. and bunyang...

pays the price.

as if to make matters worse, cricket really was ill, they had been poisoned shortly before and 

collapses. 

they wake up in prison - goddamn! this is the third time i’ve woken up in jail! as if im not constantly falsely accused of crimes already! and witness an empress-to-empress showdown. yunma fei is really best empress. she sassed dowager tayhu hard LMAO

choi jina arrives and lets you and yunma fei out but cricket’s mind is in shambles because holy fuck!!!! my son just died!!! and unfortunately they cant find the time to mourn because 1) they’re in jail and they are breaking out like fugitives. the next segment is cricket and co. break outta jail to find the rest of their kids. 

when cricket does find them its so OUCH because their kids are obviously traumatized - especially bunah!!!!!!!! the flesh and blood sister of bunyang who just fucking DIED and really ... it was just too much,

yunma fei tries her best consoling you but obviously cricket can’t think properly. but they don’t have time to be crying, because there’s too much on the line, so they swallow their feelings and keep moving. 

i’ll continue on a second post...

[kuchxn-blog]

//My own personal little wish list rant beneath the cut that most ppl prolly won’t care about because it’s mostly strictly Saiki Kusuo no Psi Nan related but I still wanna get out lmao//

OKAY FIRST OFF. I low--nah I HIGH KEY wish there were more role players for this fandom. And not just Saikis. I want Kaidou’s and Nendous (though he would be difficult I’ll admit) and Teruhashis and Toritsukas and Hairos and Kuboyasus--gimmie the whole damn gang fam. I love crossovers and all but aaaaaah I hope for this role play comminuty (and the Mob RP community tbh I have like a hard-on for MP100 crossovers. Sue me.) grow more soon~

I mostly want a Kaidou though becAUSE HE’S PRECIOUS?? AND SMOL (like. ridiculously tiny for a 16 year old. He’s shorter than Saiki and Saiki’s only 5″4′)? AND NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED??

But also because I want an AU where Kaidou’s actually not just a lonely boy with severe chuunibyou and the whole Dark Reunion bit and things with him having powers are real. Of course he would behave differently and it would make for a very different series. But I still want it (mostly because Kusuo would be there like jesus fuck no why did I have to get involved leave me alone with your world conquering evil organizations i just want coffee jelly and peace. But then DR would accidentally fuck with Saiki thinking he’s just a powerless friend of Kaidou’s and then he is somewhat more willingly involved because he’s petty like that and will #rek those fuckers with Kaidou.

I JUST LOOKED IT UP HE’S FUCKIN 5″2′ (159cm) HE’ SO TINY SEND HELP.

More on that Dark Reunion AU thing tho because while everyone else would still lack powers (and Kaidou would be ridiculously attached to Saiki because ‘FELLOW FRIEND WITH POWERS’) their classmates would prolly wind up involved without meaning to.

Motherfucking Teruhashi like ‘Who are these shady ass men following my Saiki time to sick my boys on them or just charm all the information I can out of them see if THAT won’t make you ‘ouf’ for me Saiki.’

gODDAMN HAIRO FREAKING MELTING DR AGENTS THE SAME WAY HE MELTS SNOW. (on the real tho he’s an outrageously tough kid and a black belt in Judo And lord knows what else. He could fuck some unsuspecting peeps up)

Hairo and Kuboyasu just throwing down in general. Kuboyasu calling in some old connections. “I came here to stop fighting now look what you fuckers went and make me did.”

DR people just avoid Nendou on principal after they realized this ogre of a kid may be dumb but he ruins everything he touches he’s like a walking bad omen for their evil schemes.

Toritsuka like “Oh hey saiki-san i was asking for this ghosts help to peep on the girls locker room but he spotted a really shady looking guy hiding machines and stuff around campus--wAIT DON’T KILL ME FOR THE PEEPING I DID SOMETHING GOOD DIDN’T I?

Aiura forseeing danger with her crystal ball and tracking their movements within their community whenever she picks them up (yay psychic trio).

Kaidou’s already a tough customer. Confrontations with him already have to be planned out with some of their toughest agents used for the job.

But then there’s motherfucking Saiki.

JESUS FUCK WHERE IS THE GODDAMN ARMY WE TOLD YOU TO HAVE READY TO FIGHT THE PINK ESPER KID? “HE ALREADY FINISHED THEM OFF MA’AM. AND HE’S ON HIS WAY TO RENDEZVOUS WITH THE JET BLACK WINGS.’ “ABORT FUCKING MISSION. SAVE YOUR ASSES SOLDIERS YOU CAN’T TAKE THEM BOTH.”

PK accidentally becoming their own mini-army and the biggest threat against Dark Reunion.

Kaidou generally being in charge since he knows the most about the organization. (hes such a tiny but adorably capable leader)

Kusuo generally keeping to the sides despite being the powerhouse of the team until its obvious he’s needed.

Dark Reunion trying really hard to plan their attacks for when Kusuo’s not around and they’re out of his telepathic range and this kid’s a monster

Dark Reunion trying even harder to avoid NENDOU because he’s worse than Saiki.

PFFFT--DARK REUNION LEARNING THAT KUSUO’S MAIN WEAKNESSES ARE COFFEE JELLY AND BUGS.

“SAIKI-SAN WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE UNDER ATTACK THE SCHOOL’S ABOUT TO BE LEVELED. AND KAIDOU’S SURROUNDED.” --Toritsuka probably.

“Oh my bad there was this giant coffee jelly in Madagascar for some reason and I had to get to i--oh im gonna murder them.” Because no one uses his love of coffee jelly against him (except Kusuke). NO ONE.

“WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PLAN WITH THE BUGS?”

“HE STARTED RAMPAGING INSTEAD OF FLEEING MA’AM I THINK FEAR MAKES HIM HARDER TO HANDLE.”

Poisoning the coffee jelly was the last straw. After Kusuke got him back on his feet Kusuo was gonna raze the goddamn earth because coffee jelly is innocent you bastards.

Except Kaidou and co were already righteously pissed on Saiki’s behalf and wrecked all DR bases in the area and Kaidou, Kuboyasu, and Teruhashi were already spearheading operations to wreck every shithole they got in Japan (cause they got the most connections lets face it).

Set off the 5″2′ ball of rage why don’t you. He’s tiny. So the power is more densely compact and will be released more violently u done fucked up.

Probably sent Mera in on a mission or two to ruin all their provisions and supplies. By letting her eat them. All of them.

“Ma’am our base is out of rations! We wont make it a few more days like this at this base.” “What do you mean out of rations where did they all go?” “We found this girl eating the supplies in the last storeroom.” “What about the others?” “She’s the only one.”

There was enough food for about 200 soldiers

Kaidou is so smol guys help i want a life size plush of him because it still wouldnt take up a lot of room on my b e d.

But yeah gimmie all the saiki roleplayers so I can convince them to do this shit verse with me.

but most importantanly give me small baby kaidou hES SO PRESH.

[101percentindia]

The Indian Academy Of Trolls Is Pissing People Off

The art of cyber-bullying does not come naturally.

Welcome to the Academy of Trolls where we pass on the sacred education of spoiling people’s day on the internet. We impart the necessary training to assist the transition from a hater to a Professional Troll. Our courses specialise in disrupting social media harmony, provoking reactionary comments and communicating in hashtags.

The Academy of Trolls was once called UTI (University of Trolls India), however, that quickly backfired since people started trolling us instead by comparing our institute to a Urinary Tract Infection. We have similarly done make-overs for our Trolls, in an effort to make them trendy and acceptable, like calling them Nationalists, Conservatives, Gau Rakshaks etc.

Here are some ways in which you can also become an expert at trolling / blocking / spreading hate / and generally being anti-human.

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Our motto for community-building. Image source: wpmu.mah.se

Know Your Enemy Identify who you are up against. Most movements collapse because of internal conflict and a lack of a unifying objective. Hence, we have defined hate as our common denominator, towards identifiable persons. Essentially, anybody who questions the ruling party, subscribes to the idea of a liberal society and quotes Gandhi or Nehru is an immediate prospect. Stay on the lookout for any isms - feminism, communism, atheism, veganism are buzzwords to be targeted immediately upon mention. racism, colourism, and sexism are fine.

Engage in Online Arguments This is the main action point of the course we teach to our would-be Trolls. The goal is to select comments posted under critical online articles and engage them in arguments. No supportive comment should be left unbothered. Have a set conduct for dealing with such comments: maintaining a mocking tone, providing forwarded WhatsApp messages as facts, and coming together like a wolf pack to increase the number of 'likes' on the response. Because likes=truth.

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Gauri Lankesh outrage on social media. Image source: newslaundry.com

Deflect Online Arguments Equally important is to support your own argument and protect it against detractors. After a Troll makes a point, there is bound to be several new-age, fact-checking 'truth pursuers' refuting it. Against them adopt a never say die attitude and keep counter-arguing until the opposition is forced to logout, because they probably have a job… or a life. Take this as your profession, devise certain methods to deal with challenging comments.

Character Assassination Immediately shift the focus of the argument from the topic at hand to the commenter. Their personal characteristics are to be made fun of - for eg their height, their looks, their skin colour, their city, the school they attended, etc. This requires a quick profile search and using 'Stalking Guide 101' guidelines to gather enough information about the enemy. This is why all Trolls are advised to never reveal their personal identity on their profiles; only pictures of animated frogs, national flags, exotic flowers we don’t know names of and actors/actresses (whom we will also troll) to be used as a profile picture. In the About section, working at Facebook should suffice.

Name Calling/Labelling A civil conversation allows space for a moral and logical conclusion, which is an antidote to a Troll. In order to make the opponent stoop to the Troll’s level of communication, employ trigger words that immediately garner a reaction. This disarms the opponent by invoking his primeval brain and respond in the same fashion. Distorted labels like libtard, feminazi, commie, antinational, act like road turns to change the course of the conversation. Prefixing 'pseudo' before any term has shown to work equally well.

Trolling the 'anti-nationals' Image source: Facebook.com

Random Data We must also be aware of the public perception of a Troll, lest he is labelled and disregarded the way a Troll does to others. Therefore, every Troll is given a stack of data containing statistics and textbook clippings to appear knowledgeable. Please note that religious text is also considered to be scientific and is to be taken literally. Every “fact” is preceded by “It has been scientifically proven” and sprinkled with statistics to make it believable. The data does not have to be relevant to the topic in discussion; the purpose is only to sound intellectual.

Innovative Use of Language A distinctive characteristic of a Troll is the dreadful spelling. This is, as opposed to popular opinion, not due to poor education (alone) but acts as an identifier. A Troll in need of backup can be immediately recognised by another Troll who can then pitch in. Horrible grammar, generous use of abbreviations, a complete disregard of punctuations and incoherent sentence structures are like a Troll S.O.S.

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Misspelled words. Image source: Facebook.com

Whataboutery When no other technique works, resort to whataboutery - a fool proof method of passing the blame on to the one raising their voice in the first place. This works by assuming victimhood and expressing hurt the commentator caused by ignoring other similar incidents. The advantage of this method is that it allows the Troll to digress from the actual issue while appearing to be on topic. The template requires every response to begin by 'what about', followed by any number of similar incidents. This gives the Troll complete immunity from lacking compassion about the victims in the relevant incident while assuming victimhood himself.  

Below is a case study from a Star Troll of batch 2009 putting each of the above technique to use, and cursing his way through the test. (Commentator) “A recent report states that road contractors use cheap synthetic materials mixed with tar to cut costs. This causes pot holes with only a couple of uses. The extra money is shared between the contractors and the politicians of the current government” (Troll) “LOLROFL. Here cumz anoder #Leftie. You’re an idiot sucks man” (Commentator) “Excuse me? This is a serious issue for our road safety. I can see 3 potholes right outside my window at this very moment, and it isn’t a pleasant sight.” (Troll) “You’re face isnt a pleasant site. Why dont u luk urself in da mirror…R u scared? Dont criticise the govnmt for any reasonz” (Commentator) “Listen, I’m not trying to vilify anybody out a personal vendetta. This is a national issue. Do you know the repairs are costing the taxpayers crores every year?” (Troll) “He sed national. HE IS ANTINATIONAL. Go bk to Pakistan, u porkie” (Commentator) “Are you high? I am quoting facts here. Don’t waste my and everybody else’s time with your nonsense if you can’t produce any data” (Troll) “U thnk your da only 1s with factz? Haan? Did u knew that ketchup wz sold as medicine in 1830s? U r nobody, the Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its whole body” (Commentator) “What? ermm…what are you even on about?” (Troll) “What about the potholz in Bourbon street in New Orleans? What about the new packaging of Nestle’s Kitkat? What about our soljerz?” (Commentator) “What about them? I would really appreciate you staying relevant and on topic here” (Troll) “#libtards and pseudo intellectuals lyk u r alwayz gvng bad impressions bout our cuntry. V da BEST. Salman Bhai rockz!” (Commentator) “Kill me!”

Group Rituals Every once in a while, Trolls gather over the internet to perform group rituals that strengthen the community bond and pushes their agenda forward. These are enjoyable customs that fill a certain void that Trolls are born with and validates their existence. Some of the favourite group rituals are as below: • Downrating apps of the company the commentator owns or works in. Apps of companies that share a resemblance with their name are also downrated to be on the safer side.  For e.g. if somebody from Zara has offended a Troll’s sentiment, then along with their app, the app for Xara will also be downrated • Leaving 1-star Amazon reviews for books written by offending authors. Having read these books is not necessary • Leaving 'love reacts' over comments by fellow Trolls • Issue rape and death threats to a female and male rival respectively

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The anatomy of a troll. Image source: trendhunter.com

Eligibility Anybody with repressed sexuality can become a student of the Academy of Trolls. A repulsion of books and equal gender rights go a long way in the admission process. Experience in mob lynching is highly preferable. Applicants representing a minority of any sort will be disqualified. Unlike the regressive SC/ST quota, the Brahmins are offered seat reservations to restore the balance of the universe.

Job prospects Trolls are recruited in large numbers by the IT cell of the ruling party in every election. Illegitimate religious organisations and militant groups are a close second in demand. Contrary to suspicions, the army has never employed any of the Trolls. Our alumni, out of respect and on their own liking, use them to propagate their agenda. Certificates of Patriotism are handed out to every Troll who mentions the Army in their arguments, even though none of them have ever served on the front or have known a soldier personally.  Every Troll is also entitled to a handful of air tickets to Pakistan, in case they need to send an online dissenter into exile. These are refundable trips to Karachi but can also be refunded to buy tridents, plastic flags and Patanjali products instead.

Subscribe to 101 India. Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are independent views solely of the author(s) expressed in their private capacity and do not in any way represent or reflect the views of 101india.com

By Jitesh Jaggi Cover photo credit: themighty.com