#did u guys know that i actually LOVE barney
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happy (late) birthday bernard sumner!! <3
#did u guys know that i actually LOVE barney#like i love his voice#i love how he looks#and i love how he is#idc if he cant sing or whatever bc i love his voice#bernard sumner#joy division#new order#ian curtis#peter hook#stephen morris#gillian gilbert#70s post punk#post punk#new wave#madchester#70s music#70s#80s music#80s
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You know after reading and reading and reading peoples theories and the meta from before the spn finale aired and the meta writers reactions to the finale I think I have a theory of my own. We don't have any answers tho, so this is pure speculation. If you wanna add something to support or discredit any of this that's cool but there's too many things floating around. Know I dont have proof for this conclusion at all. A lot of what I say is just guesses based on previous facts.
This all came together in my head when I realized how much this finale REEKS of the original producers and who the show was originally for. It REEKS of Robert Singer. Like if the execs started saying they didn't want it, Robert Singer was the one pushing that the story was about the brothers. That kinda thing.
Then, I was thinking of the problems in this episode and it struck me these are all of Supernatural biggest issues and to be honest all of it feels completely deliberate.
Take the sexism for example, Supernatural in it's later seasons largely out grew this, we have Jody, Rowena, Donna, Charlie, Mary, Claire (and even a wayward sisters pilot with MORE women/girls) all making regular appearances. They're mainly good characters and mostly aren't there to hurt our boys. Rowena, of course, is the one outlier being very about herself but it's clear she still cares for them, I mean its part of her development. But they're all real, with character flaws just like everyone else. (And we have Death too and she was POC 😭 THANK GOD)
Now look at the earlier half of Spn, we have Ellen and Jo, who's appearances were far in between. There's Bela in season 3, recurring for quite a bit (5 eps), but she is a character that is only there for herself, definitely not found family (unlike Ellen & Jo), and she's got more episodes in season 3 than Ellen and Jo in season 2 who aren't seen again til season 5. The "fans" send in hate mail after hate mail to try to get these characters off, and eventually they are. Then there's Ruby who's character stayed for a whole two seasons and was a largely recurring character. Why does she get to say so long? She's a plot device. She's supposed to be there to betray Sam. She has to stay (plus Jared obviously likes her). But she's not just a character the writers like writing about. Same with Lilith. Obviously not as recurring but still a plot device. Did they get hate mail tho? You can bet on it. Why? because tHeY'rE gOnNa PuSh ThE bOyS (Dean and Sam) aPaRt ThE sHoW iS aBoUt ThE bOyS oNlY. Without even thinking about the hate mail, just notice how large the difference is from how women are seen in the earlier seasons to the later seasons. Misha got tons of hate mail too for being a character that could split up the boys (probably only being allowed to say because he a man, thanks sexist producers and execs).
Only after Castiel was killed off and then Castiel fans successfully (thank you guys) got him back on the show did the hate mail largely simmer, which means female character's were allowed to stay! Which has lead us to a show with a good amount of female characters. But can you imagine having to kill characters off time and time again because people keep complaining that the show is "only about the boys." Fun times really.
So now we get to this final and we see sexism. But it wasn't just the plain old regular sexism you find in the earlier days of spn. Because now, there ARE women to talk about, talk to. But this episode was DESOLATE women wise, unless they were used for plot (which is also sexist!). Small scenes, they're barely there. Women gets her tongue cut out. Random women from s1 gets killed. Sam doesn't SPEAK of Eileen. Nothing. No mention of any female characters from the boys mouths unless they were from/in this episode itself. That's WIERD. I know we've all said it. But that goes beyond forgetting about characters. I mean its SAM'S GIRLFRIEND for Christ's sake. There is NO REASON they couldn't have said Eileen's name. Notice how Sam's wife is just... faceless. This is literally an age old sexist trope. Like... one of the things about bringing Mary back to life for s12+ is that it takes this trope... of basically a generic mother, and gives her life and feelings, whether you like them or not, they're real feelings. They said Mary isn't just a mom she's a person. Mary's existence in the later half of spn is to fix this kind of female tropes that fall upon her character, to not let these her stay a 2 dimensional character. They said we should know she's more than just the mom who tried to save her kid. Do that is the exact opposite of Sam getting a nameless, faceless wife. The sexism of the old spn wasn't just brought back, it was completely amplified. It wasn't just accidental or some exec "fixing" the story it was DELIBRATE. Whoever wrote that, didn't do ALL OF THAT by accident. Because an exec or a producer who doesn't see the flaws in old supernatural isn't going to write it that deliberately.
Let's bring it back to s10 when Charlie was killed (singer was mainly to blame). Dead in the bathtub, age old classic of burying ur gays. If you were here you know people never let Supernatural live that down. THEY KNOW what bury ur gays means. Hell, Robbie Thompson left because of Charlie's death and you think the writers don't know what it means? I mean both Bobo Berens (especially) and Steve Yockey's careers are centered around LGBT+ storytelling and you think they don't know? They know. They know.
And Dean wasn't just apart of the bury your gays trope, it is so far BEYOND that. Dean being killed on a rusty nail/screw, the tongues ripped out, things that seemed to be meant for other people. Jensen's acting in the last two episodes was giving us "DEAN RECIPROCATES" but no one ever actually saying it. I think it's clear that Dean was killed for being Bi. They didn't address it for a reason, they just silenced him. His narrative was supposed to be about letting him be HIM for the first time, to say what his feelings are instead of having them miscommunicated, and instead of doing that, they just silenced him. And the more we look at this scene the more horrific it gets. The more it's a complete slap in the face and it's supposed to be. Some guy who knows nothing about the LGBT can't write a scene this horrific.
Some guy who knows nothing about Dean couldn't write a scene that deconstructs all of Dean's character development and gives Dean his worst nightmare. I MEAN DEAN WANTED TO LIVE HIS LIFE! THEY DIDNT HIDE THAT JOB APPLICATION (or whatever job related thing that was) IN THERE FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES THEY WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST SITUATION. Dean isn't Barney from HIMYM. If you watched HIMYM then you'll know Barney went from being a stereotypical ladies man and treating women terribly to being in love with a women and treating her right and working hard for it. The last episode of HIMYM (why its so bad) Barney's character development is thrown out and he's back to being a stereotypical ladies man. You don't need to know Barney's character very much to do that.
To kill Dean during a hunt his father never finished, to not have anyone at his funeral, to have Dean die young like his life didn't matter. Those are Dean's worst fears and you'd only truly know that if you watched the gin episode in s3, where they are basically laid out for you. You HAVE to know Dean's character to tear him apart like this.
This episode took all the core elements of the show and did a complete 180° the name of the episode itself is "Carry on" and Dean and Sam very much did not carry on. Sam grieving his entire life so that he good get to heaven and see Dean again. Dean being ready to live his life, despite the enormous pitfalls and learning to love himself only to be killed. "Family don't end with blood." Um.... it did in that episode either literally with Dean's death or you know BECAUSE NONE OF THEIR FOUND FAMILY WAS THERE. Not Jack, Not Cas, Not Eileen, Not Donna, Not Charlie, Not Jody, Not Claire... on and on we go. No one was there, nobody was even mentioned. Dean's funeral, no one even called that we know of. It was just Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean. And Bobby. Don't forget Bobby. But yeah Sam and Dean.
That's what the show is about right, the brothers.
Except it's not anymore. It hasn't been for years.
Cas not being there was deafening but it brought us to a major point. Becky. Becky's telling us about the terrible ending.
And many of us are wondering why would they literally tell us this is the worst ending and then... make it the ending.
Now before we move on, it very apparent many of you think Dabb doesn't ship Deancas. And Dabb doesn't care about the characters.
Say what you will about any plot holes in his writing, the point he is VERY GOOD at writing the characters, and giving us good ones.
Why do we know Dabb ships Deancas? (ill say when its cowrote, other wise its not) cowrote ep 8.02 - purgatory "I prayed to you, Cas, every night" "Cas, Buddy, I need you." "I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you." 8.08 Hunteri Heroici - Cas helps them hunt! 😊❤ Dean & Cas have a serious convo about why Cas doesn't want to see/go to heaven. 8.22 Dean's mad at Cas. Sam's explanation of why Dean should be easy on Cas: "It's Cas." Dean then points out how he'd knife anybody else if they did what Cas did. 9.10 - Cas comforts Dean when Dean can't take seeing Sam (Gadreel) being tortured anymore. Also tons of Cas. 9.20 (bloodlines) - Canonical couple parallel "I was there, where were you" 9.22 The angels make Cas choose between them and killing Dean and he "gave up an entire army for one guy" 10.09 Claire's reintroduction. Cas heavy ep. DeanCas date. 10.22 THE PRISONER - u know the ep where Dean beats the shit out of Cas but loves him enough to not kill him.
We COULD keep going but I think I've made my point. If Robert Singer is the guy that is like "the show is about Sam and Dean only" Andrew Dabb is the DeanCas shipper. And you could even say a Cas stan.
Notice! How in s13 for SEVEN episodes we have a story that revolves around Dean's grief about losing Cas. Notice! How often the stories in all these seasons have a focus on their relationship. THAT is Andrew Dabb. If it weren't for him doing that, we wouldn't be able to easily say after Dean's lack of a response to Cas' confession, that Dean reciprocates.
To me, when I was (binge) watching s12 for the first time, I thought damn this is really got a lot of DeanCas. So I went to look at who was in charge, who was writing. I saw Andrew Dabb, associated him with Deancas episodes, saw all the new writers, Bobo, and then I saw that Yockey is known for same sex stories and it clicked. Dabb assembled a team to give us Destiel. THAT WAS IN SEASON 12!!!!!!!!
The amount of people saying he's homophobic flabbergast me. Open your eyes! That isn't what's going on.
Imagine making a show and trying to right all the wrongs of Supernatural. Imagine trying to write the greatest love story ever told and you have the entire season planned out for it to end off beautifully, it may possibly be your greatest achievement when it's done and then boom. someone comes in and tells you you aren't allowed to make Dean bi or make destiel endgame, after he was most probably already given the go ahead.
Sure. You could imply he's bi or into cas still in a way. Still make nice-ish ending. just give everyone what the kinda want.
Or you could scrap the last season, nothing close to a canonical bisexual Dean Winchester or Deancas endgame in site. People can be done with it be happy with the show, continue to live their lives in ignorance as to how close they were to Canon destiel.
OR you can lead everyone to the very closest you can get them to what you were aiming for and then show everyone the ugly truth and reality. Light it all on fire. Burn the show to the ground in your wake. Try your darnedest to making these people's (the people saying no) pockets suffer. Show us, the audience, what happened. Show us what this show really is.
I've seen people talk about the ending being changed during covid but I dont think that happened. I think what happened was Dabb already had this season planned out before it even started. Obviously the details were wobbly but it was all lead up to this ending. Destiel endgame, Canon Bisexual Dean, whatever it was. They were ready to write the greatest love story ever told and then someone shut it down.
Imagine the pain that must have caused them to be told no when they already said yes. They must have been so excited to give this to us.
I think someone (some producers) told him what this show is "really" about. The brothers. Can you imagine, after being told no, some kinda bullshit like this is said to you: "Why aren't you bringing it back to the brothers, Andrew? that's what the shows about. What with all this homosexual stuff, you know the audience won't like that. Not really." Imagine the original producers pushing this kind of view on you. "You know when we started it was Sam and Dean. It should end with Sam and Dean." That kinda sounds like someone huh? huh.
So why give us a nice acceptable finale, when you can take every problem Supernatural's had either up front or behind the scenes and create a finale so incredibly bad that people don't want to watch it anymore.
Someone made a good point about how Sam was originally supposed to be the main focus (this isn't to put any hate on Sam or Jared). Dean and Sam are the main characters but Sam was supposed to be the focus and for Dean to have become the focus, must have annoyed the producers because... well here we are. They wouldn't listen to Jensen. The producers liked this ending. Jensen's opinion didn't matter to them.
In some ways, if this is really what happened, it can be seen as childish from Dabb. To hurt all of us like that. Yes, he's hurting the producers, the execs, the cw. But to hurt us? Yeah it stings.
But in other ways, if this is really what happened, this is Dabb showing us the muck and gunk under the shiny surface. The hate for Misha. The hidden hate for Jensen. The underlying sexism. The underlying homophobia. The people REALLY in charge don't care about us, they just want our money. He needed to open our eyes and free us, at least free the people that he was writing for. The people he sees that care about this show.
This is the ending the powers that be wanted and its a big fuck you for a reason. I dont think this is Dabb spitting in our faces for loving this show, I think this is him trying to get revenge for us.
But from here, you can see it how u want it. If this is really what happened, I'm not in charge of your emotions, if you wanna be mad be mad if you wanna be grateful be grateful. And you don't have to believe me either I said this is speculation.
Also, as for all of the rumors like there being shots to the confession scene that we didn't see, which Jensen himself implied, I think that might have been a last ditch effort to canonized DeanCas but obviously it was cut. Like the name change was pretty clear. As for Misha possibly having shot some stuff for 20 I dont know what to tell you. If it's true I dont know where the blame would lie.
I do think however, that if all this was the case, the writers were prepared to become villians here. I mean they told us the writers were villians with Chuck right? So. Who knows what went down so they could give us such a vile ending. It could've been the producers or the writers, who truly knows. I do think tho that people we "trust" did some pretty shitty things to push the narrative in certain directions so now one would see this as the actual ending that was coming.
So again do with my SPECULATION what you will. This was in no way meant to put Dabb on a pedestal or anything. Just meant to give a bit of perspective.
(Also Jensen didn't unfollow Dabb recently he was already unfollowed for years)
#15x20 wank#spn finale wank#spn finale meta#15x20 meta#Andrew Dabb#spn#supernatural#castiel#dean winchester#destiel#deancas#misha collins#jensen ackles#long post#sorry im on mobile#this is the longest post i have ever writen
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read your barmey fic as soon as it dropped and lemme tell ya its good. i knew yoi were gonna write this guy to be the worst kinda dude and im so glad you did. love the way you characterize him and im waiting so patiently for the next chapter!!
LMFAO thank u so much . it was actually wayyy easier to write barmey than it was freemind, because i Know this man. ive Experienced him. ive Been him. (disclaimer: literally everything about him ive just osmosed from other ppl writing about him. i know this isnt really my style but ive only ever watched barneys mind for like 2 episodes before i had to call it quits. it hurts, bro)
freemind is a totally different beast though. i was really into freemans mind in high school and felt compelled to go back and watch some things to get his cadence right and.....man. he really does not say "fuck" as much as i write literally everybody else saying "fuck". i had to defucken him. i have to do this with every single thing i write b/c if i dont ill end up using the word "fuck" and its variations 60+ times in like 8k words. my inner dialogue is just that way, man
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hi everyone it’s me<3 i’m actually ahead of the game for once with intros so .... ur welcome ig idk. anyways i’ve put a shortish bio, personality, n some stats under the cut muah. also yeah that is a catboy gif i thought it was fitting and no i will not be taking criticism at this time.
BIOGRAPHY:
- thank you for joining my tedtalk to talk about the resident tyler posey of this rp<33 yes he is an actor, yes he is cringey. we all have our flaws.
- he was born in los angeles to 2 legacy parents - they had money, influence, and basically could get anything they wanted within the city. they both were also already involved in the film/media industry but were never super in the spotlight - his mom was a young actress but stopped when elijah was born, his dad was a director and continued his career afterwards...sooo yah his family is known n talked about
- his parents also were like . not good people to put it plainly. they were great to him and caring but it was not a happy marriage and led to multiple affairs, money struggles between the two of them (not with him, it was more so that if his family wanted to get a divorce, etc etc) - he still doesn’t know any of this<333
- basically when he was around 7 years old, they kind of picked a career path for him and it was mostly to get him disconnected from the family if any of the behind the doors problems came out. they used their connections to basically ensure that he was able to start a career in film and television at a young age so he would be set and it’s not like he minded. he grew up around this stuff it’s kind of all he knew
- he was sent to live with his aunt and uncle after his parents set him up, thought it would be easier if he was entirely disconnected from the family and its name so they kind of just .... disappeared. they knew that if the affairs and money struggles and basically all the problems they had made it public it would make it impossible for him to disappear and focus on himself so they did it for him. he still doesn’t know why his parents sent him off so his aunt n uncle (both of which he is very close w and loves dearly<3) kind of just made up a lie saying his parents had an accident and because he was so young he never questioned or asked for details. like he thought this entire staying w them stuff would be temporary but nope !
- literally i am saying his parents risked their own careers and lives for him like i am telling u his family were not bad people he just does not know that they literally did this to him to avoid their own problems getting out into the public (aka blackmail 1)
- but yeah from there ... his career just kind of took off from the connections in the industry he was given. like no offense n i hate aye for saying this but yeah he probably started on barney KFNLKSNLKSDNKSDF u know like most kid actors do<33 and then as he got older like. im sorry he cannot play serious roles but he probably did films that were coming of age type stories that were geared towards teenagers and young adults (think love simon, booksmart, that gist). we are also assuming in this universe that ppl actually are the same age as the characters they play ... yeah .
- when he was 18 he was really stupid (blackmail 2) and slept with a casting director for a role because he knew that someone else would have gotten the job if he didn’t. it was reckless and stupid and it actually got him in trouble but only with his family. his aunt n uncle found out and basically told him that if he didn’t go to school n fix his shit then he would have to stop working completely. he didn’t have much of a choice in where to go to college considering his parents were legacies so he just did as he was told
- he literally doesn’t wanna be there like he is the embodiment of ‘ i will now be causing a problem ‘
- but yeah ............. that’s all i got for now may remember more later KLNDFLKSNLKDSF
PERSONALITY:
- i mean he has a sag sun/aries moon which u can read about here that should frankly say enough
- but has the extreme problem of not thinking about the consequences of his actions - literally lives day by day rather than thinking about the future or the past which can really cause problems with his relationships
- a glass half full type of guy<3
- he generally has a huge problem with not taking things seriously - like if a problem comes up he will take it as nothing or just assume it’s not as big as it is just because he literally doesn’t see the point in stressing about it
- he is literally a himbo
- like he may not be stupid academically but he just doesn’t care for school and only ended up going because he was forced to by his aunt and uncle. he IS however stupid in every other aspect of his life KLNDFKSNSDFKL whether it be friendships, relationships, whatever he has a severe commitment problem and will basically just stick with what he feels like is a good time in that moment
- however when he is loyal, he is LOYAL. if a friendship or bond becomes deep enough he will be in it for the long haul and considering his personality it’s not super hard for someone to reach that level - he’s not overly trusting but he just doesn’t read into people as much as he should
- will make a joke about everything so i am sorry in advance for that<3 he just loves to have fun he can’t help who he is<3333333
- he isn’t a huge partier ... i mean he will if there is one but it’s not like he’s prone to scandal after scandal he kind of just does what he wants and if he gets caught well then that is a problem huh
- more tbd but that’s it for now ig .....
STATISTICS:
- full name: elijah cho.
- nicknames: i mean eli is fine ... he literally doesn’t care.
- age: 22.
- date of birth: december 10, 1997.
- birthplace: los angeles, california, united states.
- current location: new haven, connecticut, united states.
- astrological sign: sagittarius sun/aries moon.
- gender: cis male.
- pronouns: he/him/his
height: 5′11″.
- sexuality: bisexual.
- religion: agnostic, raised catholic.
- piercings: helix on his left ear, he had a nose ring for a couple of months when he was 19 but it fell out while he was sleeping and closed up :\
- tattoos: literally has the dumbest tattoos like i don’t even have the energy to find pictures. like random things he got when bored. probably has a smiley face on his finger - stuff like that.
- haircolor: peachy blonde like this.
- misc: has a calico cat named chewie (she’s 3) - loves her with his entire life so ellie if u see this she may come to meetings<3
#this is not edited so literally if there are errors no there arent#thank u<3#i forgot to put the full blackmail into this but its fine u can check the page .
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Carnival of Aros - July 2020
I've been meaning to type about this for a while, but then this month's carnival of aros is about music, so I figured... well, two birds one stone I suppose lol.
Musicals are sort of like music right? I mean, I don’t think this is too far from the idea, even if it was meant to be about, like, individual songs.
This is about a whole musical where I just immediately felt that it was a missed aromantic opportunity.
Company.
Company is a musical by Sondheim from the 70s that seems to be brought back every decade or so. It’s about a guy, Bobby, on the night of his 35th birthday. He’s a bachelor, the only one among a bevy of married friends - all of whom wonder why he can’t keep a girl and hasn’t gotten married yet. The show moves through snippets of Bobby’s experiences with his friends… they’re all basically trapped between the horribleness of being married and the horribleness of, well, not. They love Bobby for his freedom, for the advice he gives, for the fun he brings into their life, for watching their kids, for always being there without being a detriment to their coupleness.
But the entire play is them badgering him about why he isn’t getting married.
There’s also three of Bobby’s girlfriends who wonder the same thing, what’s wrong with him, why can’t he commit.
One could also view it as Bobby internalizing everything his friends and lovers have said in the past and having a freak out about it. The whole show is kinda… disjointed in that, while it takes place all on one night, the majority of scenes are from the past or possibly not real.
The show is set up, for most people, to be a commentary about, idk, like growing up or realizing that you can’t be alone or you gotta be open and vulnerable, but like you need to share your life with someone and that someone… uhh, can’t be your friends cause they all have their significant others and that’s the way things are (*hard side eye* lmao). And that’s a real shame, because the show is this wonderfully accidental portrait of a closeted aromantic struggling not only with the pressure of the conventional relationship narrative, but with friends who buy into that. Bobby doesn’t know what he is, or can’t accept it, or can’t admit it, and he’s struggling to force himself to feel the things that come so naturally to everyone he knows. He wants love, to be loved, but what’s in him, what he’s capable of, isn’t what everyone else has. I mean, look, he’s 35 and has never been in love, doesn’t understand love… *looks into the camera like I’m on The Office* come on.
I’m not going to go through the whole show, just hit on some highlights that scream aromantic to me, cause not all the songs are about Bobby’s relationships. Some are about the other character’s relationships. There’s 18 songs in this musical, lots of material.
Here’s a link to the whole thing … this is the 2006 version with Raul Esparza, who is fantastic.
We’ll start in Act 1 and go from there. About halfway through we get Bobby’s three girlfriends singing “You Could Drive a Person Crazy". This is an upbeat, vicious song about how they feel betrayed that he never takes things to the next level. They can understand if he was gay, or bad in bed, or actually dead… but Bobby is none of those things, instead he’s a crazy, troubled, person who has something wrong with him. He’s a zombie with a loose connection.
I don’t think I’m the only aro who’s been called similar.
Later Bobby sings about someone (“Someone is Waiting”)… an amalgamation of all his lady friends… pleading for this person to wait, because he’s ready. He wants to find them, if he’s not out of luck and too late. He already has what he’s looking for, theoretically… if only an alternative relationship structure existed. As is, he has to try and find someone new. Conform to the idea of the superiority and inevitability of the exclusive pair bonded romantic-sexual relationship.
When one of his friends is freaking out about getting married, close to calling off the wedding, he proposes to her. Because it makes sense. She doesn’t want to be married, he doesn’t want to be married, they can both be married and have their freedom, everyone will leave them alone.
“You have to want to marry somebody, not just some body,” says Bobby’s friend, deciding that she really does want to marry her fiance.
This leads to Bobby singing “Marry Me A Little”, imagining a marriage as being soft and respectful, no big fights, no big promises… and that he’s ready for that. Things like mutual respect and care. “We won’t have to give up a thing, we’ll stay who we are,” he sings. “I’m ready now.”
There comes a point as an aro (tho this applies to aces and people of any orientation who don’t really want a relationship as well), or for, I think, a lot, or a good number, of aros when you start looking at a future that doesn’t have the spouse and the kids and pets and picket fence. When you start to come to grips that you might be looking at an empty road instead. And it’s not necessarily that you don’t want that, or that you really want something else, but there’s a kinda scary point where you realize that it might just be you, alone. That no matter what friends you have or partners or whatever… that they’re eventually going to want to “get serious” and “have their own lives”, lives that don't include you as a main component. And “somebody”, anybody, that will make it so you’re not alone starts sounding pretty good. You’re almost desperate for it. If you could just find that right person, the one that would make it make sense to have the spouse and kids and pets and picket fence… you could do that. You could. It’d be so easy. And then you’d have someone and isn’t that what everyone wants?
Anyway… Act 2.
All the married couples sing about how much they love having Bobby around in "Side by Side by Side". But then also rag on him about how worried they are for him being alone and try to set him up ("Poor Baby" and "Have I Got A Girl for You"), which is par for the course I think for an aro.
There’s also “Barcelona”, where Bobby makes a vague, surface, “going through the motions” plea to one of his girlfriends that she should stay after they’ve slept together. He doesn’t try very hard and when she decides to stay, well he sings “oh god”. ‘Nuff said.
All of that is, you know, it builds, but the real highlight in Act 2 is “Being Alive”, which is where Bobby finally learns that he really does need someone.
Or, you know, when he’s been beaten down by life and his friends and partners so badly and so thoroughly that he decides that he’s not even alive if he’s alone. That he needs another person to make him alive. “Alone is alone, not alive.” Tragic.
He starts off with things like being held too close and hurt too deep, to which his friends comment about how he can’t possibly think that that’s all there is, telling him he has no reason to be alone, encouraging him to keep going cause he’s “on to something”.
Bobby’s seen the terrible bits of their marriages and, to his friends, also the good bits. But if you read Bobby as aromantic then he has no context for the “good bits”. He’s watched them dig at one another with secret info, argue, pester, have the other person say they hate it… and then it’s just fine, because of ~feelings~??? Incomprehensible magic. There’s a trick in there somewhere and Bobby can’t see it.
But Bobby’s trying. Forcing himself. If he just really thinks about everything they’ve told him...
“Hey, buddy, don't be afraid it won't be perfect. The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be,” says one friend. Yikes. “It's much better living it than looking at it, Robert,” says another. And I suppose if you do have feelings for someone, it’s not that bad.
Bobby finally… it’s sad, really… like I know it’s supposed to be a song of him figuring everything out, but it feels like a descent. He’s given in. He believes there’s literally nothing for him, he’s not living, unless he has another person. “make me aware of being alive” “make me alive”
Horrific.
I’m not entirely sure how, like if this show were to be reworked with Bobby as aromantic (and god knows it gets revived enough, it could happen if anyone knew what aromanticity was) how that would be communicated. Unless, like, you had Bobby admitting that he is aro from the start, but you’d have to assume that the audience would know what that was and actually, you know, not agree with all the other characters.
The latest revival in 2018 did a gender swap with Bobby, which is something. Now, I had thought it was just Bobby as the swap, but they swapped all her girlfriends into boyfriends and then made one of the married couples gay. Apparently, according to reviews, the whole thing was a revelation and really freshened up because, you know, it’s super hip and modern to do a “ticking bio clock” story line with a woman nowadays. (there's also the soundtrack to the gender swap on youtube, it's got Pattie LuPone in it!)
Personally, I would have just swapped Bobby… I’m not sure how well an aro reading there would play, not because there aren’t aro lesbians, but I feel like there are a lot of layers to a lesbian not wanting to u-haul and then getting harangued for it by her presumably hetero friends steeped in hetero society, just aside from any aromanticity.
But the whole thing takes on a very tragic tone when reading Bobby as aro, I think. I suppose what’s even more tragic is that Sondheim probably has no idea that he possibly wrote an aromantic character. He thinks he wrote a show about fixing someone who was broken. Just like the show Bones fixed Bones from being broken and how HIMYM fixed Robin and (tried to fix) Barney. I need to find a better way to end this, probably, we’ll see…
I wrote this three weeks ago on pillowfort and did not find a better ending lmao.
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was tagged by @lavenderbyun to do Ten Shipping Questions (she actually made a tag game??? call the cops this isn’t anisah)
Ultimate otp: from kdrama probably my tragic lovers wang yeo and sunny :(((((
from other things mmmhmmmm??? OH BISH STILES AND LYDIA HOW TF DID I FORGE THEM!! (i know why its because i didn’t watch the last season i hate myself)
Ship you’ll always love: lol barney and robin from himym and i’M STILL SUPER PISSED ABOUT THAT ENDING OKAY I WILL NEVER!!! GET OVER IT
Current obsession: mm nothing really since im not watching anything lol, but ugh the brothers in i love yoo have me weak i dont know whom to ship her with anymore :(
Ship you never thought you’d like: lol probs ron and hermione cos I never thought i would ever like harry potter but then I watched the movies like five years ago and love at first sight :’( (okay maybe not at first sight probs at like the fifth movie i don’t remember them anymore lol)
Ship you liked but don’t anymore: what about “ship that your friend put down your throat until you ended up kinda liking it but then realized what the actual heck am I shipping” because khal drogo and daenerys then
Ship that should be canon: soo ji and se joo :( (i mean they did had a last scene where they met in japan but also??? give me more content u assholes)
Canon ship you hate: uhh now that ithink about it i don’t have any canon ship I hate?? probably that cheap ass guy and the secretary from whats wrong with secretary kim because like, girl u deserve something better..
Pair I’ve been shipping for years: i guess jake and amy since I started watching b99 like two/three years ago lol
Ship everyone loves but you don’t: idk tbh?? probs the one from school 2017 but it’s not that I don’t like the ship?? is that I don’t like the drama as a whole lol :(
Fav rare pair: @championamjoon and namjoon <3 (i’m gonna be the one that holds the bat at their wedding)
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1-99
1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?i got a sheer curtain for a closet door but its usually half open2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?no i use all of it up at once3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?i only sleep on a fitted sheet which can't be out4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?hahahaha no but people have given them to me5: Do you like to use post-it notes?at work i use them all the time they're very fun6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?i don't have to buy my own groceries yet 7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?i'd just rather never be in either of these situations. like if i knew i could be faced w either of these i'll j die beforehand8: Do you have freckles?on my nose and shoulders. thank you sun damage9: Do you always smile for pictures?not always but i do!10: What is your biggest pet peeve?lately it's been driving cuz there so many stupid ass people out there drivin at the same time as me11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?no that would drive me crazy12: Have you ever peed in the woods?i can't honestly remember the last time i was even in woods at all so prolly not13: What about pooped in the woods?definitely not14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?i dance all the time bih no reason to not be dancing15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?no i do put pen caps thru my septum ring tho lmao16: How many people have you slept with this week?none 17: What size is your bed?twin like a child18: What is your Song of the week?back at it x yung lean and i hope this comes back to haunt you x neck deep19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?yeah who cares20: Do you still watch cartoons?yes!!! one of the biggest perks of my job21: Whats your least favorite movie?uh probably unfriended or that movie about the horse? spirit?22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?my old smoke spot23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size?my bra size is xbox 36024: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?condiments. next question25: What is your favorite food?prolly lasagna fritta hahaha 26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?tarzan, american beauty, the shining, the virgin suicides, valley of the dolls27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?my rat dog28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?hell no i had no interest in selling cookies29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?i wouldn't strip or pose nude in front of my own self much less the media30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?i wish i could remember. i wish i was still in a position where writing letters was something i did all the time31: Can you change the oil on a car?hell no but adam can, if anyone cares32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?yeah it was shitty that stretch of road was crawling w opps33: Ever ran out of gas?luckily no but i know i was close many many times34: Favorite kind of sandwich?subway melt, extra monterrey cheddar cheese, mayo, toasted35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?eggs, toast, hash browns36: What is your usual bedtime?between 11-137: Are you lazy?yeah its shitty i wanna be more motivated but i gotta get my mind right first38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?barney, little orphan annie, scream39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?i have no clue what this even means40: Are you horny?haha yeah bro i'm jacking my dong as we speak41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?my subscription for seventeen j ended after like 5 years42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?legos are messier but you can do a lot w legos that you can't do w lincoln logs43: Are you stubborn?i don't think so but i can be44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?probably letterman45: Ever watch soap operas?yeah with my mom cuz she watches days of our lives religiously46: Are you afraid of heights?deathly bro it wasn't even that bad for a long time then all my fears j enhanced by a million47: Do you sing in the car?yessss its my favorite thing to do48: Do you sing in the shower?not anymore. it doesn't feel comfy to do that anymore49: Do you dance in the car?yeah bro theres video proof50: Ever used a gun?a bb gun, sure. never an actual gun tho51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?not a portrait but on monday a photographer took a pic of me w a class at my work52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?no most of them are quite good53: Is Christmas stressful?hell yes dude esp when you're broke54: Ever eat a pierogi?nope but memaw owned a red crewneck that talked abt pierogis that i swear i never saw her w/o55: Favorite type of fruit pie?no pie for me thank u56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?marine biologist, microbiologist57: Do you believe in ghosts?yeah mostly cuz when i die i would like to be one58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?of course it's a natural human thing59: Take a vitamin daily?nope i don't have the drive to be healthy60: Wear slippers?never that ion like my toes sweaty61: Wear a bath robe?nope that's too boujee for me62: What do you wear to bed?a t-shirt and sweats/basketball shorts63: First concert?skillet/tobymac cuz i love god64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?target as fuck65: Nike or Adidas?adidas bitch fuck yo "just do it"66: Cheetos Or Fritos?cheetos usually but i fuck w a frito now and then67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?fuck i look like? a baseball player?68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?yeah bro i stan them69: Ever take dance lessons?no but sometimes i went w a friend to hers70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?being an ex-member of one direction with an incredibly successful solo career71: Can you curl your tongue?yep thank you genes72: Ever won a spelling bee?in third grade mf!!!! take that!!!!73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?i teared up today watching sister wives bc i was so happy for them74: Own any record albums?one. it says "moms and dads" on it75: Own a record player?nah ion have the money in my budget for that76: Regularly burn incense?i used to!! i fell off that train quick even tho i love the smell of incense77: Ever been in love?w things and places, i'd say so78: Who would you like to see in concert?frank ocean, bryson tiller, the weeknd, zayn, partynextdoor, tame impala, neck deep, yung lean79: What was the last concert you saw?amity w dani myah and master p80: Hot tea or cold tea?cold tea baby i would die for lipton's white tea raspberry81: Tea or coffee?tea82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?soft snickerdoodles all day everyday83: Can you swim well?i can swim that's for sure84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?it's the only way i do it. i'm grown now85: Are you patient?no that's one of my biggest flaws86: DJ or band, at a wedding?dj cuz bands are j too loud in such small places87: Ever won a contest?yeah i got a free case of snapple88: Ever have plastic surgery?no i would only ever get it for medical reasons and even then i'd check all my options first89: Which are better black or green olives?no olives. ever. 90: Can you knit or crochet?no but cayla can i can give you her number if necessary91: Best room for a fireplace?a den bitch where else92: Do you want to get married?yeah that would be kind of cool 93: If married, how long have you been married?i hope when i get married i stay married forever94: Who was your HS crush?mr. bogart95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?i'm whiny so probably a little bit. but oftentimes i can get what i want w/o making a scene96: Do you have kids?not yet97: Do you want kids?yes ion wanna carry em tho98: Whats your favorite color?pink99: Do you miss anyone right now?yes. i miss many people right now. thanks tiny chicken
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