#did no hw all week and this is my punishment | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kkusuka · 4 years ago

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HQ Middle blocker kinks <3

@xxxxtanaxxxx request hq kinks but middle blocker version please 🥺

I'm gonna be honest i wasn't gonna do this buuut here it is

i have a setter one in the works and here is the ace version!

here is the setter version <3

Characters: Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsuro, Suna Rintaro, Satori Tendo, Taichi Kawanishi, Issei Matsukawa, Takanobu Aone,, Shoyo Hinata, Lev Haiba Shugo Meian (MSBY captain), and Yutaro Kindaichi

Mentioned female anatomy, but mostly gn

content warning: consensual non-con, humiliation, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurisms, degradation, bondage, sex toys, cockwarming, edging, soft priamal/prey, mentions of house break-ins, pegging, size kink, overuse of the word Daddy, face fucking, hickeys

i think thats all?

buckle up, this is gonna be looooong.

Tsukishima Kei

Degradation

This is a given, my mans has a mouth on him, AND HE KNOWS HOW TO USE IT

He says the most vulgar things in your ears (and you love it)

His nickname for you is Cum-dump, and he calls you that so much that you’ve started to respond to it. “Hey, Cum-dump! Come here” “ok Tsukki”

And when he’s cumming? A slew of insults just come out

“You whore, oh, you fucking cum-slut, you’d let anyone do this to you won't you”

And it's not limited to this!

“You're just a hole”

“You only exist for me to fuck, Right? You're just a glorified fleshlight”

“You're only good for sucking my cock”

“I should just leave you chained to the wall so I can fuck you anytime I want, that's all you're good at so you should love it”

It won’t even be only during sex

You could literally be just studying with him and he’ll just lean over and say “ you want to be fucked right now don't you? In front of all these people, I bet you’d love it Cum-dump”

Humiliation

Goes with a dirty mouth

He’ll flip your skirt while walking in front of groups of other students

He purposely sucks hickeys where your uniform does not cover and then laughs at you because you're just such a slut.

One of his favorite things to do is have you wear a vibrator in school, only on days where you have to do something in front of the class

No worries he has the remote and turns it alllllll the way up during the middle of your presentation, you just look so cute all red!

He’ll make it better!!

You can cum in front of the class, let everyone know how much of a whore you are!

Purposeful neglect

He wants you so horny you can’t think

If that means not giving you attention for FIVE DAYS so be it.

No touching yourself and if he finds out you did he’ll ignore you for longer and you don’t want that do you?

You will wait for him to touch you.

He’ll also just ignore you.

No begging, he doesn't care, he doesn't want to hear it.

Don't touch him, stop being a brat or you won’t get off for a whole week.

Bondage

It's all about control <3

Having you tied up and immobile is the best way to show how little you are.

He’ll tie you up and put you on the couch with a vibrator and just watch movies, unable to rock your hips

This seems cruel but he’ll tie your hands up and make you eat dinner with just your mouth <3

He’ll make you watch tv with a ball gag in

He’ll have a riding crop in his hands when you study and he’ll hit your little clit/silt with it every time you get a question wrong

Kuroo Tetsuro

Pet names

Literally any kind o endearment, but mainly switches between Kitten and Baby Girl/Boy(i am swooning right now)

He WILL call you these in front of people and out loud in public

He’s called you them in front of your parents in front of Kenma in the middle of the grocery store.

So you're wondering, why does that matter? People do that all the time!

Well, he calls you them so you remember how he completely ruined your little body and how his cum is still dripping out of you <3

And its cannon that he has a sexy voice, and it drops and gets deeper when he calls you them.

Thigh highs

It doesn't matter in you have the biggest thighs ever or just a bone, if you wear any kind of thigh highs (bonus points for Cat ones) he will be ready to bust a nut

It's not only him that gets off on them, especially when he takes them off

He’ll climb over you and use his teeth to pull them down to your feet and he’ll kiss and bite his way back up to do the other one.

He also will sometimes leave them on to rail you into your bed, when this happens he puts your legs over your shoulders and squishes his head between them.

(kuroo loves thighs, and that's that)

Caregiver

He's taken care of Kenma all his life, and you bet your ass he’ll do it for you

This means he gives the best aftercare you could imagine, I’m talking bubble baths

He’ll cook for you in nothing but an apron, and he’ll tease you when you get all flushed and cute!

You had a bad day? He’ll eat you out for hours until you’re all cuddly and tired.

He’ll fuck you slow where you need it and he’ll kiss all the pain away <3

He just loves having you dependent on him makes him so happy and thankful to have you!

Threesomes

Mainly for Kenma, but he let bokuto have a turn and even convinced Tsikki to give it a try!

He really just wants to show off that you’re his what better way to show you off then let some of them get a taste of something they’d never have.

Favorite position for this? Split roasting/ Eiffel towering

He's the one who you're sucking on, and he’s so far down your throat making him suck you deeper and deeper until you’re drooling all over his balls like a good Kitten

Whoever he sharing you with would be in you following whatever Kuroo tells them to do

Rub your clit? Yes Sir.

Faster. Yup

Slowdown Kittens being bad so she doesn't get to get off <3

Suna Rinatro

Purposeful neglect

Just like Tsukki, he wants you hot and bothered all the time

He will just sit around and scroll on his phone while you’re whining :(

Just let him watch this video and he’ll get you off!

Will never tell you but you just look so cute, all needy and horny for him.

Sometimes he’ll slip you a libido pill and just watch the world burn.

He will wait until you have ruined whatever shorts you’re wearing (and he’ll take them) and THEN he will help his poor needy baby

Cockwarming

Almost every time he games, he puts you on his dick

you already know it’s happening when he takes the controller out

He says it's because he doesn't want to “leave you out”

No moving on him though, if you8 move it could distract him and you do not want him to lose, losing means being pounded into the floor until you can't think, then being ignored the rest of the day “horny sluts can sit on the floor until they need to be used”.

But if all goes well, he’ll go soft in between rounds and will suck on your neck and will let you cuddle into him during the rounds

But when Suna if feeling a bit more adventurous he will put his headset on you and fuck you with all of his friends listening

And if that's not bad enough they all clearly know what’s happening id Osamus soft coo’s and Gin’s little comments (but it's not like they want it to stop anyway)

Edging

Will literally just do this out of nowhere

You thought you were finally gonna cum, then nothing

HE WILL just do things for hours to see you cry and begging or him to just let you cum

He’ll stick four fingers in you and bring you to your climax and just leave you on the edge

He won't even have a reason, you were being good, you let him play his game and he does this?

Que pouty bby

Video/Photography

We all saw this coming-

But he takes it a step further than just having a photo collection of you

He has a personal private story with just you in it where he put videos of you riding him or sucking his dick fo you to “see how slutty you are”

that's not even it, he sends you a picture of you naked in the middle of work, with no shame either

Thus one time you were showing a coworker a shirt you had bought and he texted you and the picture showed up. It was awkward for the next few days.

But these don't even compare to how he has an entire Instagram account (private of course) of your nodes and videos of the two of you fucking.

One extra little thing is that you both watch porn together for ideas.

Satori Tendou

(i could make him a post of his own-so so many kinks for Satori)

Humiliation (mentions of pee)

This can range from calling you names to making you touch yourself in public

He’s called you a pillow princess in the middle of class, in front of your teacher

It had gotten so bad they Ushijima had to ask what a “cum-dumpster was” because Satori had called you that in front of the team.

He doesn't even introduce you as his S/O, hw=e would call you an escort or that you were just his personal fuck toy.

This kink goes so far that when you were on a double date with Semi, under the table Tendo had his hand literally in your pants.

**One of his favorite things is to make you hold your pee in until you are almost peeing yourself, isn't that embarrassing that you're a grown adult who’s about to wet yourself?

Overstimulation

He wants to see you a complete mess all over him

The main goal of all of this is to make you squirt or begin to have dry orgasms

He will not stop until he’s happy or you say your safe word (which is rare)

One orgasm just isn't enough for him :/

And it's a big boost of confidence for him!

he‘s proud to know he can make you cum so much you cant even think!

Dacryphilia

This AND overstim?

Good luck

He can't even explain why it turns him on so much.

You just look so beautiful with tears streaming down your face all fucked out

It always hits him at the worst times too, you crying over a bad grade? A pretty tear falling over your soft cheeks. Hard.

Just watched a sad movie, he’s ready to pound you into the couch.

Anal

Oh ho ho

This can be one of two things, he does it because it feels good

He does it as punishment

That means no lube

No adjusting to his dick

And no extra pleasure to help you get off

He’s so mean </3

Taichi Kawanishi

This man screams pornstar

Public sex

This man is unstable

You could just be walking in public and he just decides he wants to fuck.

Who are you to stop him?

Just let him get this out real quick you can shop later.

Exhibitionism

The thought of being in the open? This man loves it

And you don't really have a choice but to love it

Every time you go to the beach he just has his dick in you, in the ocean sitting in his lap while eating lunch

He doesn't even care who sees

Children? Who cares, look away or whatever

Getting caught

It doesn't even matter who it is

If someone walks in when you're doing it he’s cumming

It's just hot

He doesn't need to explain it to you

he also makes u take nudes and had them as his homescreen for a while

Issei Matsukawa

I’d let this man kill me-

Leather/ latex

LEATHER GLOVES

He wears them when he fingers you so he can make fun of how wet you made them.

He dresses you up in these pretty little pastel dresses (gender to heel, he doesn't care, you look hot weather your a boy, girl, or not) and he wears all black (goth daddy Mattsun) and his gloves to fuck you in his leather-covered fist.

That's not even it

He has an entire bin of different colored chokers and leashes just for his pretty baby

Along with that, he has a shelf of latex thigh highs for you to wear and even has an entire outfit for you to wear and show off to him.

Ddlg/b/n-Lifestyle

This is why he has a lot of things that you wear!

He loves to take care of you all the time!

He loves to make his baby food and love to watch movies with you

And you love him so much too!

You would do anything for Daddy!

And he takes you shopping and to restaurants, and if you want literally anything big or small all you have to do is look up at him with puppy dog eyes and a “Daddy, please!!” and boom his credit card is already out.

Size kink

Big dick Mattsun-

This all comes back to the fact that you are so beautiful

And big dick little hole, who doesn't love that??

He sure does, don't worry though he always makes sure to prep you

Except if it's punishment- he doesn't like it he swears! He’d never want to hurt you!

And you’d believe it until your crying on his cock and it throbs ://

But if it still hurts, and it does, he’ll let you go your pace and sink all the way down onto his cock<3

Fun fact the first time he went into your ass he tried to with no lube and you couldn't sit for DAYS

Voyeurism (receiving)

Makki Makki Makki

I would say he was into Cuckolding but its always him doing the watching while Issei fucks you

And Makki loves it too if his constant praises and coo’s said anything about it.

And Mattsun just gets off on the fact his best friend is watching something he’ll (maybe if you're not into it) never fully have

Mattsun also likes having you tied up an watching him fuck a fleshlight of just jerking off

You look so pathetic :)

extra for big dick mattsun, he Shows all of his friends <3

I am a whore for the Seijoh 4

You bet Makki has an entire folder of pic of you, whether they are of you dripping cum or just with your legs open.

Even if he says he doesn't save them, you know Iwa has gotten off you a recording of you moaning and asking for Daddy’s cock

And Oikawa is always asking for more (the little manwhore), he says they are “references” for him, liar, he jerks off to them in his bathroom.

Takanobu Aone

It's always the quiet ones-

I just gotta get these first two out-

Consensual non-con

I can just TELL he like to pretend to break into your house

Pretend you're so scared and you don't like it

Tying you up and listening to your little cries, awwwwweeee

You were just too pretty to ignore

Just let him have a taste, stop crying he knows you want it just as much as he does

Primal/prey

He wants to feel like he earned his reward

A perfect little trophy for him to use as a toy

His dick in your tiny dripping hole is all the reward he needs

It's like you're a pretty innocent bunny and he’s a big fox just waiting for the right time to strike :)

Soft sex/ praise

I know what I said up there

But none of that means he doesn't love just setting you down on the bed with candles and rose petals and just making love

Soft music in the background and worshipping every inch of your skin

You need to be vocal though!

Tell him how pretty he is when he cums, and how perfectly his dick fits in your hole!

Tell him how soft he looks and how he is making your nipples feel like heaven.

Aftercare- bc I am also soft for aone and he is a good guy

Bubble baths and chocolate

Movies and cuddling

All of this makes him so glad that he found you

Especially when you cuddle into him all sleepily and tired.

Shoyo Hinata

oh he is so pretty-

Mutual masturbation

It's the perfect way to experience pleasure

He can see you in all your glory

All of the faces he sometimes misses when he’s fucking you!

He also learns from it!

He sees the angle your fingers go to hit that sweet spot so the next time he’s in you he knows where to aim!

(he is so precious-)

Pegging

You wanted to try it so he almost immediately agreed-

But it felt good!

The two of you reserved what one you wanted so the one he picked was almost made for him.

Plus, you look ridiculously good with the strap on-

And he voices that as much as he can!

And sometimes when he rides the strap he just watches it going in and out and in and out

(you also think this is SUPER hot but won't tell him :/)

Riding

It doesn't matter if it's you or him

Watching you fall apart on his cock without him doing a thing makes him cum harder than anything

Sometimes he gets so excited that he comes before you and makes you stay there until he’s hard again, which doesn't take long at all.

when it's him?

he’ll go for hours just to hear you tell him how good he is and how pretty he looks

Lingerie

Especially pastel babydolls

But nothing you wear could ever make you look bad in his eyes

Ok he likes it when you keep the lingerie on too like he’s fucking you and you till have a little nightgown/crop top on

Lord he will BUUUUUUSSSTTT

Lev Haiba

Size kink

Unintentionally too

He didn't even know it, but he did know that he liked that you were so much smaller than him.

He likes to put your hand to him and just look at the difference and before he knew it he was painfully hard

On the occasion, he makes fun of you saying his dick is just too big for you and you can't handle it, but then you get on your knees and he shuts up real quick

Praise kink

A given

He wants to know how good he makes you feel at all times

It doesn't have to be words either!

loud moans explanations of pleasure all drive him to move faster and faster!

Even yelling “oh god!” gets him off

He makes you feel that good huh?

Wall sex

Just playing on the size kink thing

He loves to just pick you up and fuck with reckless abandon

Gets a way better angle too- bet you didn't think he would realize that

He also likes to watch the combination of your juices drip to the floor-

Shugo Meian (MSBY captain)

Sexiest team-

Daddy/ Captain kink

Just look at him, he screams Daddy louder than you do when he’s fucking you

He takes pride in being Captain meaning he’ll fuck you for hour if the word even falls from your lips

And yes you have said it (daddy) front of the team and he did get hard, and the both of you did fuck in the locker room of the gym for an hour before you got kicked out

Even in arguments you better call him daddy, he will stop and fuck you into the ground for it

Angry or not you WILL use his title

Spanking

Will threaten you with this almost everyday

He just uses it as an excuse to touch your ass

He makes you count after each one and makes you thank him

It would look a bit like this

“Five! Thank you Daddy!” “Good Baby, five more”

But that doesn’t mean when you really deserve it that he won't unleash the wrath of god onto your poor ass

But after he’ll kiss it all better and Daddy will reward you for taking your punishment well

Controlled orgasms

By this i mean that you wont cum unless he says so

And you have to ask

Aka “Daddy please let me cum, I really want to”

And depending on what he’s feeling maybe you’ll get to cum then

And if not you’ll have to wait like a good Girl/Boy and cum when he does, which could late literally forever.

but its better than disobeying his orders, which could lead to him completely pulling out and just jerking off to cum on you :((

Deepthroating/ Face Fucking

Nothing is better to him than coming home to you on your knees and mouth open and ready

But when he’s all pent up from practice and he sees you?

Rip your throat, you aren't talking for a few days

He’ll literally fuck your face no question

He’ll put his dick so far down your throat you could feel it in your stomach

Yutaro Kindaichi

Hate sex

He just makes everyone angry

And he gets off on it

You look so fucking delectable all red faced and angry

Makes him want to just slam into right then and there

Dom/Sub

Clearly he wants to be in control

Controlling someone is just such a turn-on for him

Looking all pretty doing exactly what he wanted you too <3

Hickeys

Wants to show off that you are his

What better way than marking up your neck with pretty bruises

Plus he likes how you get all shy when people look at them

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koolkat9 · 3 years ago

Text

Hws Rarepair Week 2022: Day 2

@hwsrarepairweek2022

Prompt: Hurt/Comfort

Rating: T

Pairing: GerEng

Word Count: 890

Author’s Note: This is a lot heavier than most of my work.

CW: Poor coping mechanisms, heavily implied alcoholism, self-loathing, mental health struggles (and I think that’s it. If I need to tag anything else, let me know).

To the Future

It seemed like the perfect surprise. Ludwig had been given the Friday off for his hard work this week, and what better way to spend this free day than by heading to England early and surprising Arthur?

As soon as he arrived in London, he picked up some flowers before heading over to Arthur’s flat (hopefully, the Brit hadn’t already taken off to his cottage in the country). He knocked on the door but didn’t get an answer. He tried again but was still met with silence. Ludwig had a sinking feeling in his stomach. Though he would much rather have Arthur invite him in, Ludwig was given a spare key for a reason.

“I’m sorry,” Ludwig began as he entered the living room, “I knocked but–”

Arthur looked over at him in horror. His hair was a mess, his eyes were glassy and unfocused, and his hands were shaking badly. The room reeked of alcohol. The garbage bag in Arthur’s hand explained the smell as it was filled with beer bottles.

The Englishman winced as Ludwig made his way over to him. He squeezed his eyes shut as Ludwig approached, waiting to be yelled at, lectured, or any kind of punishment really. He messed up big time and he knew it, and the last person he wanted to see him this broken was coming closer.

But there was no yelling, no lecture, and instead, Arthur was pulled into a tight hug. It was so warm, loving, and comforting. For a moment everything felt okay. But his pounding head and the garbage bag weighing him down quickly brought him back to the messy, ugly reality he was in. Arthur tried to pull away before he completely broke down, but Ludwig was persistent, only holding him tighter.

It was all too much. His headache, his uneasy stomach, the mess he had made the night before, and worst of all Ludwig’s affection despite him having every right to be angry were all suffocating. But he was also tired, and after a few minutes of struggle, he gave in, legs buckling, leaning against Ludwig for support. Next thing he knew, they were sitting on the floor, Arthur in Ludwig’s arms.

As if pouring salt into Arthur’s already wounded psyche, Ludwig began to sniffle. Arthur felt warm tears against his shoulders. Ludwig was crying. Because of him. The pain of the hangover was soon forgotten and was instead replaced with overwhelming guilt and self-loathing. No matter what Arthur did, he always seemed to hurt people

“I’m sorry,” Ludwig choked, pulling Arthur closer, “I’m so sorry.”

Arthur quickly wiped away the tears forming in his eyes before facing his lover head-on. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he stated intensely, “I should be apologizing to you.”

Ludwig wiped his eyes. “Sorry…”

“Stop apologizing.” Arthur rested his head on Ludwig’s shoulder. “I’m the one who’s fucked up, not you.”

“Arthur…”

“And right now, I’m being selfish, holding onto you like this when you shouldn’t be anywhere near me less I bring you down with me.”

“Arthur.”

The Brit’s throat began to tighten. “I knew from the beginning that I didn’t deserve you, and this just–”

“Arthur!” Ludwig shouted, taking Arthur’s shoulders and pushing him up so he could look right into his eyes. Arthur froze. “First, don’t ever talk like that about yourself,” Ludwig said gravely, “Second, please get help. For it all. I’ve been there, and I know it isn’t easy. But you were the one to encourage and support me. Now it’s my turn to do the same.”

That made Arthur break. All the weight, the pain, and the thoughts that had been weighing on him for years were all released in gut-wrenching sobs. Ludwig continued to hold him, rubbing up and down his back, letting him cry it out.

“I’ll clean the rest up,” Ludwig said as Arthur began to calm down, “You go get something for your hangover.”

“Okay.” Arthur rose, legs shaking slightly, but he made it to the bathroom and took some aspirin. He took a moment, slinking to the floor and finishing his water until he felt calm enough to face Ludwig again. As the medication set in and the water cooled him down, Arthur felt his mind become clearer and his shoulders a little less weighed down.

When he returned to the living room, Arthur found it spotless. Leave it to Ludwig to put everything in its place in a matter of minutes. He had even had time to make tea given the two steam mugs that were laid out on the coffee table. How Arthur had landed such a wonderful boyfriend was still lost to him. He quickly shook that thought from his mind; he didn’t want to make Ludwig upset again. He took his seat, cuddling into Ludwig’s side as he drank his tea.

They didn’t speak, leaving Arthur with his thoughts. But this time, with Ludwig’s hand running up and down his side and grounding him, he wasn’t thinking of all his mistakes or the sorrows of the past. For the first time in a long while, he was thinking about the future and how he would do everything to ensure that Ludwig would not have to worry about him. He’d reach out, he’d go to therapy, maybe even rehab or something similar, all so Ludwig could sleep easy.

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sunlightandsuffering · 3 years ago

Note

Corruption au Eren cockwarms mikasa once they’re together, he says ‘it helps him remember things’ and then every so often he gives her an orgasm just to keep her pliant against him while she plays with her boobs, he doesn’t do it in a cruel kind of way, it just he wants to pleasure her while doing his work

however when they’re not together, he’s such a sadist about it, he refuses to let her come even after he’s done his hw and is just fucking her, he always leaves when he’s done. Until one day when he starts feeling bad, he lets her come and it absolutely ruins him, he becomes obsessed with pleasuring her and seeing her face flushed pink, and hearing the needy sounds she makes and the quiet sighs, and the way her hands frantically move around until he Holds them together

STOP U GUYS KNOW ABOUT MY COCKWARMING OBSESSION STOP IT 😂😂 omg bless corruption Eren tho, this is my favourite kink for him, its so hot and it fits their situation perfectly.

It starts slow for Eren, to be honest he has no fucking idea when it really started. One day he'd been failing calculus, accepting he wasn't going to pass the year and thinking about maybe dealing drugs as a career path over his previous dreams of doctor. The next he was being forced to study three days out of the week with high school princess, Mikasa Ackerman.

At first he'd hated it, hated her really. He'd never been able to stand her, not since they were little and she'd chosen the dark side of Historia Reiss, bully and mean girl if there ever was one. Historia had sweet innocent baby Mikasa under her thumb. Mikasa followed her around like a dumb fucking puppy and Eren hated followers, they were all the same, no personalities, no aspirations of their own. She had no backbone either. She let all the shit Historia did slide, all the bullying, the holier than thou attitude because her family was richer than god. So very typical of the rich kids from the upper class neighbourhood. Eren would know, he used to be that rich kid, used to live that life. That was until his parents died in a brutal car accident, Zeke had inherited half the estate on the condition he'd take care of Eren and the rest was tied up in Eren's trust fund until he was twenty one.

Big surprise, no one had taken care of Eren and he was fucking lucky Armin and his grandpa had been there to help him out.

Everyone else, all his other 'friends' had given him the cold shoulder upon finding out he was no longer rich for the moment, he'd been dropped like a hot potato. So Eren's hatred of the upper class of Shiganshina had begun.

And Mikasa Ackerman was the pinnacle of it all, the worst the rich had to offer. She was beautiful, smart, loaded, had every opportunity in life, completely innocent and sweet, and the cherry on top of it all she volunteered on the weekend at the pound.

She disgusted him, so prim and proper and all around good girl while she was letting her 'friends' bully him for being poor, watching the injustice happen like a fish in a bowl.

He couldn't fucking stand her.

Of course, she would be the person who ended up tutoring him though, Principal Erwin mandating it if he wanted to graduate. So here he was sitting in the computer lab at five on a Wednesday watching her plump lips move as she explained integrals to him for the third time in an hour.

It's been a few months since they've started this little arrangement and he's gotten used to her presence. He wouldn't say he likes her, thats a stretch but he's not quite as cruel as he once was. He'd be lying if he said he didn't get a kick of watching that beautiful mouth part every time he does something mean though, those little gasps when he pinches her thigh or touches her where he shouldn't.

It's probably the highlight of these sessions.

Today he's feeling bold, maybe he'll push his luck. After all, he's done it before and she's never protested. For some reason or another Mikasa Ackerman has a soft spot for him, and no matter how mean, she lets him get away with murder. "Miki, come here I can't hear you properly." "And then you take the-what?" She looks up, pretty dove-grey eyes wide, sparkling as she explains her favourite subject, fucking math.

"You heard me, get over here." As usual, she takes orders so fucking well, it brings out the absolute worst in him. She's standing up and next to him in seconds and he's eye level with her perfect chest, those tits he dreams about every night, ripping her bra off with his teeth and sucking at those pretty pink nipples of hers. He's only seen them a few times, when he convinces her it's okay, when he's sure there's absolutely no one around, but they keep him awake at night. He pats his lap, grinning as she goes easily, settling into her favourite spot, he knows she loves it just as much as he does. Her thighs always shake and she shudders as his hands find their place cupping those beautiful creamy thighs, head tucked into her shoulder.

Mikasa starts talking again, beautiful lilt soothing him as she launches into a renewed explanation of integrals while his hands move up, up, up and to his absolute favourite spot, her panties. Today she's wearing cotton, he can feel it, must be laundry day and he kisses her shoulder as he feels how wet she is. Fucking perfect.

Lately she's been more partial to fancier underwear and he can't help but wonder if it's for him. He has a feeling it is, because the first month of their little arrangement he'd snuck as many peaks as they could and it was always pink or white cotton with polka dots and pretty bows. They were his favourite, so fucking innocent, so untouched by anyone but him.

He watches as she moves her pencil drawing lines and numbers, a little bit of the alphabet too and he ignores it all in favour of watching her chest, her breath hitch as he slides a finger inside her panties, feeling those velvet lips, it's been a while.

He's been on his best behaviour lately since Levi almost caught them at her house that one time, but he's horny and she's wet and he misses being inside her, misses watching her try to talk through him fucking her, how her voice would waver, change pitch. How many times she'd stumble through her sentences, have to start all over again, because she can't handle how big he is, doesn't know how to deal with the all-consuming sensation of him fucking deep within her walls, just sitting there filling her right up to her cervix.

Fuck.

He can't really be blamed for what he does next, and besides it doesn't matter, Eren's not a stupid kid, he allowed himself to get this far behind in calculus. He'd spent an hour last night going over integrals with the sole purpose of knowing what was going on today so he could fuck with his favourite toy.

He moves her a bit so she's resting more heavily on one thigh and slides his joggers and boxers down just enough expose his heavy cock to the air, already rock hard and waiting. Mikasa gasps a little bit, a breathy sound quick and sharp as she sees him, her eyes transfixed on his dick and he grins, sliding her panties to the side and slamming her down on him before she even knows what hit her. The slide is so fucking easy too, it takes almost nothing and he gets a sick sense of satisfaction that even with little to no prep she can take him, probably better than anyone else he's ever fucked. She takes it all no complaints, as deep as she can and he bottoms out.

She lets out a long moan, that pretty sound he wants to record and listen to on his phone over and over again, her head lolling back uselessly against his shoulder as she takes in the sensation.

"Miki baby you know this helps me remember better right, sorry it just wasn't getting through my head I was too distracted, but now I'm all ears, why don't you continue. What's that rule you were talking about, how are derivatives and integrals related again baby, they're opposites?"

She's breathing quick and Eren doesn't blame her, he's struggling to keep his tone level as her walls squeeze him, warm and soft and he wants to stay buried there forever, she's so fucking tight.

"I-Eren-I-yeah, opposites," she finally manages to get the last word out ending a little broken as she struggles to sit up and make herself comfortable on his cock, she should be used to it by now with how often he does this, but it never fails she always reacts like she's taking him for the first time all over again. He fucking loves it.

"Why don't you explain again baby, I don't think I really understand? And make sure you're clear Mikasa." She nods, still squirming around, every movement shooting electricity up through both of them as she accidentally grinds down, she lets out an involuntary moan and Eren smirks.

Eren takes it upon himself to move her up and off his cock a few inches before impaling her back down, biting down on her neck a little bit as punishment and she whines, teeth coming out to bite down on her lip brutally as she tries to keep quiet.

"Stop moving baby, you're distracting me, just take my cock like a good girl and explain for me yeah?" She replies brokenly her voice soft and struggling with her breaths, "Yeah."

#corruption au 🖤#idk where this came from #😂😂

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sinjinlover1 · 4 years ago

Text

Long Lost Partners

Summary - When Kaminari gets caught from cheating on the recent English test, he receives an unusual punishment from Present Mic and joins another student from class 1-B. The two hit it off but Kaminari can’t shake the feeling that he knows this individual. But from where? -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say that Denki Kaminari was tired would be an understatement. He was absolutely wrecked, though partially was his own fault. This morning he swore off procrastination and walked into class proclaiming that he was a new and improved man. To be fair though, this was probably the three monster energy drinks he downed while running to school talking, not him.

"Nice man! You know it takes someone who is really manly to step up and take action so I'm proud of you." Kirishima slapped his back appraisingly.

Jirou only looked him down suspiciously. "You sure that's you talking?"

"Hey I'm serious! The second I get an assignment I'll do it. I won't leave it off to the last day like last night ever again." Denki shivered at the thought of what went down this previous night. He was up until four am this morning trying to crank out the two weeks worth of homework that he had been piled up, which conveniently all had the same due date, today. Couldn't help but wonder if teachers planned to have the same due dates for work to make students' lives hell as he tried to complete his English homework.

Iida butted in with a smile on his face while performing his routine robotic chops, "I praise you Kaminari for being an example to the class! It is unwise to leave assignments to the very last minute when you can give them the attention they require and get full marks." At this comment almost everyone in class 1-A turned to look at Kaminari who was wearing a smug smile.

"You hear that Sero?" Kaminari asked with a shit eating grin. He opened his arms wide open giving him a full view. "I think you need to look up to me now."

"You're so full of shit." Sero remarked at his gloating friend who was basking in the attention. This was all in good fun though. Sero and Kaminari had met this year and got along the best between anyone else in class. Sometimes even taking time to hang out after school or play some games online.

Sero didn't really plan on looking up to Kaminari as usually it was the opposite way around. When Sero logged on last night to play a game, he had expected Kaminari to be on as he usually was, but instead was met with a text message saying, "can't tonight. doing this bitch ass English hw."

Sero knew that his friend had been procrastinating but when he opened Snapchat this morning he saw a whole new level of this bad habit. While going through Denki's private story he couldn't count the times Denki had filmed himself downing a whole monster energy drink. At around midnight he even filmed himself making what he called, 'The Acid Drink' which was a 20 oz. bottle of a mixture of coffee, Monster drinks, Kool Aid mix, Red Bull, and just pure granulated sugar. He even attempted to do shots of the 'Acid Drink' while workin on quadratic equations. Again, Sero didn't think it would be wise to follow in Kaminari's steps.

"Man how the hell are you going to stay up all day when all that sugar and caffeine crash?" Sero asked. He was sure his friend had come prepared and to be honest, he wanted to see what his plan was. And Kaminari's smile confirmed his suspicions as he pointed towards his bag.

"I've already thought ahead my friend. I left a bit early to go to the store to get some Red Bulls, candy and other stuff, which was a good idea considering there was a villain attack right near the shop. That would've been rough getting to school this morning."

Sero nodded in agreement. He left a bit too late this morning and he was actually caught up a bit in all the traffic and mess from the attack as well. Two people with quirks that enhanced their sizes went at it at 7:30 in the morning creating huge amounts of destruction.

"Yeah it was a pain in the ass trying to get through. Thank god I made it though. I don't think I can afford to be yelled at by Mr. Aizawa for being late again."

"It would kind of suck if one of my friends got expelled for showing up late to his class for the third time." Denki was now popping a couple smarties in his mouth before chewing it up. Sero then gave him a pointed look before Denki handed a couple over to his friend.

Right on que Mr. Aizawa walked into class for homeroom and thus began another uneventful day of learning, that is, until the end of English class.

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Hearing Present Mic speak was never a problem as that man never ceased shouting about anything. And that proved to be quite annoying in Denki's attempt to learn the English language. Well, that's at least what he blamed to be the cause of his current failing English grade.

Now, Denki Kaminari isn't the sharpest tool in the shed but that doesn't mean he is a total flop. He passed the UA entrance exam so that has to mean something, right? But when it comes to languages that is where he has never succeeded and doesn't think he ever will.

So today when Present Mic started class by asking for Denki to stay after class because, 'I have a few concerns about your English test," this really didn't come as a surprise. Even if it was expected, because there was no denying it, he bullshitted and cheated his way through that last test, that still didn't stop the sinking feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he knew something was wrong.

He looked around the room as everyone once more stared at him like this morning, but he felt 3 pairs of eyes who looked at him knowingly. And those people would be none other than Hanta Sero, Eiji Kirishima and Mina Ashido.

Kaminari gave a cold look at Sero who also seemed to look like he was sweating in his seat as well, but Present Mic never said anything about him and started his lesson by screaming a song in English.

'That asshole isn't being called out but I am.? We both cheated on the same test using the same sheet yet Sero is the one who gets the clear? Jesus, I'm probably going to be chewed out by Present Mic which is way worse than Mr. Aizawa. Scratch that Mr. Aizawa is scarier than Mic but Mic is just so loud I think that makes up the difference between how annoying they are to be yelled at by.'

And so, by the time English class was coming to an end and lunch was near, Denki did not learn anything in that class as he spent it in his own inner monologue.

"And that's really the main difference between using singular and plural nouns listeners! See you all on Wednesday have a good lunch!" Present Mic concluded his lesson and gave Denki a lingering stare saying, 'don't start leaving yet.' Denki looked to all his friends as each left.

Mina gave him a quick nod and a wave before walking out.

Sero passed by snickering as he confirmed that he was in the clear and was safe.

And finally, Kirishima gave him a quick pat on the back before joining the rest of the gang outside the room.

And Bakugou, Denki didn't even see him leave but he assumed he just packed up and left as usual.

So now all that's left in the classroom was himself and Mic.

Denki slowly made his way up to Mics desk mustering up as much as a pleasant attitude as he could, while also praying his eardrums won't split if he gets too close to him. When arriving at the front of the classroom all he could peep out was, "What's up?"

'Woah that came out higher than expected.'

Present Mic propped his legs on his desk and crossed them before taking a deep breath. "Listen here listener,"

'How can I not listen if you're shouting constantly.'

"Do you know what being a true hero means?"

'Well I didn't expect that.'

"Yeah, it means risking your life to save other people right?" Kaminari wasn't exactly sure where this conversation was going but Present Mic sure got serious all of a sudden.

"I know what a pro hero does, but I am asking about a true hero here. Someone who does or takes actions that are heroic for others without the benefit from doing actions. Being a true hero means being honest," Present Mic consequently pulled out his recent English test and handed it back to Denki concluding, "and cheating is not honest."

'Oh so that's where he was going with that.' So Denki Kaminari took the test marked with a big '0' and took that as his queue to zone out. After years of practice he could say that he mastered the art of looking like he was paying attention, but really was somewhere else in his mind entirely. He wasn't sure if this was something to brag about though. Sometimes words slip in but if he focuses enough, he can totally tune them out and do something else. Like think about what he wants to do after this.

As Present Mic continued on about cheating and whatnot, Denki got more tired by the minute, wishing he was drowning himself in caffeine rather than Present Mic drowning him in words.

"So heroes aren't always the ones front and center taking care of the villians. Often these heroes are working behind the scenes and keeping society flowing. They are honest and handworkers who help their community."

Denki was now swaying from one foot to another getting even more bored with each passing second. Another thing about Present Mic which in his opinion makes him worse than Mr. Aizawa is that he doesn't get to the point immediately. Instead he makes elaborate discussions rather than just telling him what his punishment is like Mr. Aizawa.

"So for your punishment. Of course I will have you retake the test and we can set a date for that, but instead I have a better solution instead of suspending you for cheating. Because what does that teach you? Nothing! You know students can't learn much if..."

And Kaminari began to doze off waiting for Present Mic once more, to get to the point so he can eat. It probably would've been smarter to take his last Monster Energy before this class.

"...instead I'll have you working on your honesty through community service. I have a little group called 'Present Mic's Helping Hands' and it is full of students, like yourself, who also can improve upon their honesty or choose to help out instead of detention. I suppose you may have heard this on my radio show as I send out a line for people to call if they need help doing small services around the city." Present Mic beamed at his plan to Denki and even began to pull out a small binder that was sitting in the top drawer of his desk. Smiling even more, Present Mic beckoned Denki over as he went on about each of his services he did and photos that were taken.

Apparently that binder was just composed of photographs of Mic smiling with previous students who were all wearing matching and tacky bright yellow shirts. Some students smiled, while some looked like they wanted to leave at that very moment. There seemed to be a picture for every time they had a group of 2 or more to do a service project. Kaminari can't even guess how far back some of these pictures go.

"So I just have to do some community service for the rest of the week?"

"Right on listener! I'm so excited for you to help out and join our group along with another, though they've already tagged along once or twice before! I'm just going to have you two meet me at the front of the school at the end of the day! That is where I'll give our service assignment! Sounds good?" Present Mic concluded looking to see if there were any questions on the young teens face. With a simple nod to Kaminari's head, he sent him out to eat his lunch.

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As Kaminari approached the lunch table he saw that everyone was there waiting for him to ask what happened, and Kaminari explained it all. How he won't be able to play games for a whole week because he'll be stuck doing community services with some other person in Present Mics 'Helping Hands' group. He also brought out his last Monster Energy Drink which he has been saving for his lunch.

Sero snickered while finishing chewing his food, "Sucks to suck I guess." And at that Kaminari playfully jabbed him in the ribs making Sero slightly choke on his food. "What the hell dude? I thought we were going to at least get caught together but you get a freebie?" With that Sero only shrugged.

"Well at least you aren't suspended right? That could've been a lot worse. Like imagine if you got caught by Mr. Aizawa." Mina consoled while shuddering at the thought of Mr. Aizawas red eyes glaring into hers as he expelled her.

Kirishima decided to join in saying, "I think you should take this as a learning experience man." But before he could continue Kaminari cut him off saying, "You don't get to talk. I don't think you have ever had to cheat once in your life. And English comes easy to you for some reason. What did you do to get all smart?"

With that Kirishima shrugged his shoulders and turned to his friend, "I don't know being manly means being honest so cheating has never really been an option." Kaminari only stared at him with an annoyed face(because he knew he was right and probably won't try to cheat again) and went back to his complaining.

"This sucks. I really wanted to just take a nap when I got home. I hadn't planned on staying later so I didn't stack up on any energy drinks because the ones I'm having right now will last until the end of classes." He pointed to his empty Monster Energy drink before putting it upside down for emphasis.

As lunch was coming to an end more and more people began to get up and take care of their dishes and trash. The group followed suit and got up starting to walk to 5th period.

"You said that there's going to be one other person right? I don't know, just talk to them and try to get through it." Sero offered, trying to help his friend make the best of the situation he was stuck in.

Walking through the class door together Kaminari responded, "Yeah you're right, we'll see I guess."

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At the end of the day Kaminari changed out his shoes and made his way towards the front of the school where he noticed one other person standing and waiting where he was told to meet Mic.

'Probably the other person.'

Making his way towards them he started to get a clearer view on who would be joining him for the next week. And his first impression was not who he has been picturing at all. He thought this student would look like a total delinquent and fool around all the time but this person in front actually looked pretty put together. And also kind of hot.

"Hey I'm Denki Kaminari but you know you can call me Denki if you'd like." He flashed his best award winning smile waiting for his new partner for the week to respond. Denki began thinking maybe this won't be so bad after all.

"Hi I'm Y/N L/N and same you can call me Y/N I don't really care either way. Oh and I'm in class 1-B." You responded with a cherry smile. Denki didn't know a simple smile or laugh could make him feel warm and mushy inside. This was a foreign feeling.

"Oh for real? I'm in class 1-A." He said, but the sudden drop of your face meant that he needed to clarify. "I promise we're not like the rumors. At least not all of us." You knew what rumors he was talking about. A lot of class 1-B along with others from the student body tend to think that 1-A was just full of stuck up brats who think they are better than everyone else. And though Kaminari can think of a few students who fit into that rumor, he didn't think at least he was better than anyone else. It was quite obvious that he wasn't and the proof was that he was standing here with someone else who had cheated. Which brings up his next question.

"So did you get caught cheating too?" You shook your head quickly and let out a bit of a chuckle. Scratching the back of your neck as though you were embarrassed, you responded sheepishly,

"Well it's a bit of a long story,"

"Alright guys for one box of Pocky I'll do a backflip right off of Mics desk to my own seat." You exclaimed to your quiet class who were all patiently waiting for Present Mic to come. Everyone turned to you with eyes wide open.

Kendo was quick to shut this down. "Yeah, no you won't. I don't need you causing a scene. Besides Present Mic is going to be here any moment so we can just wait patiently. Save that for hero training." She advised. While her words were convincing, Tetsutetsu's were more after saying two simple words, "You're on."

Immediately getting up you could hear both the mixed interest and protests of your classmates as you began to make your way towards the front of the desk. With a quick peek out the front door and seeing nothing you quickly mounted on top of the desk and got situated.

"Y/N I'm serious you need to get down. Present Mic is going to come in and punish us all for your actions." You looked at Kendo questioningly. "Are we talking about the same teacher? 'Cause the Mic I know would cheer me on." She gave you a small glare in return preparing to get up from her own seat to stop you.

"Hey c'mon! Wouldn't it be cool if when I jumped, I landed in my seat the moment Mic gets here?" You chuckled along with a few others in the class at the thought of pretending nothing ever happened and that a student totally did not do a backflip off of his desk full of all his personal work, files, records, etc.

You raised your eyebrow and tried to figure out how to jump so you would land right in your seat. Kendo let out a tired sigh before continuing her protests. Ignoring her you finally got into position and ready to jump. The rest of the class, though excluding a few, were all watching intently, a few even chanting.

And so, taking your leap backwards, it would've been a perfect landing, if your shoelace hadn't got snagged between two drawers from when you were fixing your position. As you jumped back you pulled not only you, but Mics entire desk causing it to fall and contents to spill everywhere.

Thankfully Kendo dropped her hands giving up completely and got up to help you out along with others who went to see if you were all right. It sounded like you hit your head pretty hard. And right on cue Mic walked into the disaster of a room with his desk completely turned over. Records, papers, pens, files, clips, all of it was everywhere.

And it didn't take long to find the culprit behind this as they were lying on the classroom floor. No other words had to be said between you and Mic other than, "Did you bring your shirt?"

After hearing the story Denki was now laughing it up as you gave him pointed glares. You continued on saying, "The worst part was that I didn't even get any Pocky!"

Kaminari raised his eyebrows at you. "Well yeah obviously. You didn't stick the landing. Can you even do a flip?"

In return you gave him a mock-offended look, "Can you even do a flip? Of course I can do a flip asshole." But at that Kaminari shook his head laughing, "From that story I think it was clear that you can not do a flip."

Now at this comment, you took his words as a personal offence. "How dare you, first of all fuck you, and secondly watch this." As you took a stance and did a back flip right in front of Kaminari. As you landed you stretched your arms wide waiting for an applause which was shortly given by Kaminari. After that's when the two of you began to laugh.

In that very moment Kaminari can feel as though they've met this person before, he could've sworn he knows that laugh. It's so distinct, something he would never forget yet he can't place where he knows it in his mind.

Now it was your turn to question his own skills, "Can you even do a flip?" But before he could respond the two of you heard shouting from across the school yard near the busses.

"Listeners! Come meet me over here!" Present Mic shouted waving over for the two to come.

And the two did a quick jog over to where Present Mic had been waiting along with a small bus that Kaminari guessed was to drive you both to the service activity for the day.

"Sorry that took me a while, I had to dig out a new shirt for our new member of 'Present Mics Helping Hands!'" He shoved the shirt quickly to Kaminari. Kaminari knew the shirts were tacky and embarrassing from the photos, but the photos never showed the back. He couldn't believe he was going to need to wear this all week. While the front of the bright yellow shirt said, 'Present Mic's Helping Hands,' the back of the shirt had Mics face plastered all over the back as he was showing his hands.

"So what do you think? I designed them myself! Pretty sweet right? Feel free to wear it whenever you're outside school!" He quipped. The first thing Kaminari wanted to do was burn this shirt to the ground.

Present Mic then turned to you, "You have your shirt from last time?" And you gave him a thumbs up before pulling it out from your bag and showing it to the two. The same face was plastered on the back of his as well.

"Awesome! Now put them on over your uniforms and come in front of the bus to take a picture! It's tradition that every time we go out for a community service activity we take a picture to remember these fond memories!"

The two of you both put on your shirts and made your way to the front of the bus. Lining up the two of you stood right next to each other, though it looked a bit awkward considering the space between you two. So Mic went up and pushed you and Kaminari both close together before turning around to fit him in the selfie. Both of you brushed hands slightly as you felt a faint shock of electricity when touching him.

"Okay Listeners on three say, 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' okay?"

On three you both exclaimed 'Present Mics Helping Hands,' though it didn't sound as enthusiastic as Mics booming voice through his speakers. With a look at the photo he turned off his phone and shook Kaminari's hand.

"Welcome to the group and congratulations on being the third member to join this school year!" Kaminari shook his hand back weakly and turned to you. "I didn't know there was another member." he commented.

As the two of you both climbed the bus preparing to leave you answered his comment saying, "Yeah, we were actually the first members to join this year. It was a guy from class 3-A and I remember being so surprised that this guy had been "recruited" into the helping hands. I mean he was just so quiet and shy too. Honestly the conversations were pretty one sided so it's nice having someone to talk to for this week."

Kaminari let out a small oh as their journey to the service activity continued. Mic was upfront driving the bus signing some English song and next to him was Y/N who was currently on her phone playing a game.

Taking a closer look the game turned out to be none other than Minecraft.

"No way you play Minecraft?" He asked as Y/N turned to look at him.

"Oh yeah! I haven't played in such a long time though, but only recently I've started to play again because my little brother got really into it. But I used to play a lot when I was younger."

Kaminari felt a twinge and that feeling like he knew who this person was before even meeting them happened again. But still he couldn't place the feeling to exactly where he knew them.

"Same! I was obsessed when I was younger and would always log on. Hold up I'm going to pull up right now and I'll add you on my phone now and then later sometime we can play." Kaminari whipped out his phone and opened the app he hadn't touched in such a long time.

"Sounds good, I usually play on my PC anyways." You replied going back to building your home on the game.

Once Kaminari had loaded the game he asked you, "Okay what's your username?"

You paused for a moment before going to scratch the back of your neck. "Promise not to make fun, I made it when I was super young and I've been a bit lazy to change it..." Kaminari stared at you, prompting you to go on.

"It's 'green_penguin.lover33.'" You turned away embarrassedly.

Kaminari stopped immediately when he heard that name. It finally clicked. From the time he first heard them speak to the time they had first laughed there was no mistaking it. He finally knows where he remembers you from!

"No way, you're 'green_penguin.lover33?' I'm 'sparkguy8!' Holy shit I thought I knew you from somewhere."

"Oh my god." You exclaimed. You knew that name the very second it was spoken. That is because 'sparkguy8' was none other than your very first and only, Minecraft boyfriend.

This was insane. It's not everyday you meet your first Minecraft boyfriend in person especially after such a long time. Kaminari was the first to start talking after the reveal.

"Where on earth did you go? When you stopped showing up I was so lonely. I thought we had broken up! I still remember your last words which were, 'see you soon.' What the hell happened?" Kaminari was literally bouncing in his seat like a puppy after seeing its owner come home from work that day.

"Oh that's actually easy to explain." You told him how when you moved your console got lost and by the time you had gotten a new one you were already done playing Minecraft and instead you played other games and just over time forgot about it all. It was just only until recently when your little brother had gotten a gaming console he got Minecraft and has been bugging you about playing together.

After taking in all this information, Kaminari feels as though his life is finally complete. Not only did his Minecraft partner go to his school, they were actually a really cool person and fun to be around, and not only that but they were really attractive as well. For once he could actually thank Present Mic for this.

"I hope you know that as soon as we get home we are playing right?" He said determinedly.

"Of course," you replied. Shaking your head in confirmation as the two of you rode the bus to the service activity. You felt closer to Kaminari then you have ever been with another person before.

Apparently cleanup from this morning's villain fight is taking longer than expected and Mic had received a call from his help line. Time couldn't have flown any faster as the two of you picked up rubble and trash from the part of the city that had been destroyed. Whether it was talking about older memories of playing, music, newer games, food, all of it.

In the moment when you two were parting ways, and you watched as Kaminari walked off towards the sunset, you were positive that attempting to do a backflip off of your teacher's Present Mics desk was the best decision you've made in your life.

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well hopefully that wasn't too awful to read haha.

i finally got the motivation to write and i’m going to start pumping out a bunch of these denki x reader one shots so stay tuned!

i hope you all stay healthy and safe, love you <3

-sinjinlover1

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imgoingtohellsofuckit · 5 years ago

Text

Hope Can’t Fix Everything pt 2

Jasper x Human! Reader

Warnings - angsty

Summary - Jasper tries to make it right

part one

Jasper had royally fucked up. And he knew it. He knew that he ruined his chance with his mate. One mistake would destroy the entire lifetime they were supposed to have together. Carlisle made Jasper skip the next week of school. Mostly to get him to calm down. But also to make sure nothing else happened. Progress into vegetarianism for vampires isn't exactly linear mistakes are bound to happen. Carlisle honestly was expecting for a slip up- if not from Jasper then from one of the others. However the slip up wasn't what was crushing Jasper. Sure he felt absolutely terrible for snapping on his mate but- seeing that his mate was terrified of him, disgusted by him. He was crushed. And with having to stay home and away from everyone else was just causing him to spiral.

Finally after a week Jasper went back to school. But he didn't feel any comfort. He learned from Alice and Bella that Y/n didn't tell anyone anything that happened. They kept their near death a secret. However he also learned that they were avoiding the Cullen clan as much as she can. He didn't know if them not telling was a good thing. If it meant that maybe they could talk about it- or if they just didn't know how to explain it to anyone else with out sounding crazy.

"You freak!"

"Mr. Hale," The teacher calls snapping him from replaying the memory for the millionth time. "Are you okay?"

Jasper wanted to laugh. Okay? No. He's never been okay. Not in his 100 plus years of being a vampire has he once been okay. No that is a lie. He was okay with Y/n. He finally felt like he had something in his life that made his eternal life worth something. And he scared that meaning away.

"Yes sir," Jasper says softly, "just tired."

He could feel the eyes of a couple of his classmates on him. Watching him curiously.

"I heard he and Y/n broke up," The girl behind him whispers to her friend, "apparently it was messy."

"Where did you hear that?" The friend asks.

"Everyone is talking about it," The girl says, "Mary Spencer said she saw then go up to the Lake Frisky then saw Y/n flying out of there a hour later. Apparently in such a hurry she almost hit Mary. And I haven't seen the two as much as look at each other since he got back."

"Wow," The friend says, "what do you think happened?"

"Who knows," The girl says, "Tracey Catcher thinks that Jasper is hooking up with one of his adopted sisters. The little one Alice. Maybe Y/n found out."

Jasper scoffs lightly. This is stupid. Listening to everyone talk like they know what's happening. Feeling the emotions of everyone in the room as they pry and poke into his failed attempt of a love life. He feels his own anger bubble up. Getting more and more intense as he catches more of the harsh whispers. Before he can snap the bell rings loudly. Bringing him back to his senses. He sighs slipping from the classroom to the lunchroom. He meets the others at their lunch table. However the complete lack of you in your spot at the table makes his heart ache.

"Jasper," Alice says softly as he sits down, "how are you holding up?"

He doesn't say anything. Instead his eyes search the cafeteria for his mate. Looking over the mess of kids at tables. Finally he sees them across the lunchroom. Sitting with a couple of their friends. They don't seem interested in whatever their friends are talking about. He watches them as they pick at their lunch. He wishes he could read minds and figure out what he needs to say to make this all better. But then he thinks about all things that could be on their mind. Things he couldn't handle. Your perspective of the memory.

"Jasper get out of your head," Edward says carefully.

"How about you get out of my head," Jasper says firmly.

"Jasper you need to calm down," Rose says, "getting mad at Edward while amusing, isn't going to fix your problems."

"I just- how do I even begin to fix this?" Jasper says softly, "I almost killed them. They begged me to stop to back away and I ignored them. I'm a monster."

"You sound like Edward," Emmet says laughing lightly.

"This is serious," Jasper says, "what do I even say? What do I do?"

"You need to talk to them," Alice says simply, "try to explain. Try to make them understand. Promise it won't happen again."

"And what if it does?" Jasper asks softly, "what if it happens again but you guys don't get there fast enough huh? What if I killed them?"

"Jasper you aren't thinking-" Bella says softly.

"He is," Edward says, "he thinks we all should leave."

"Oh come on we saw how that worked out with Bella," Rose says.

"It was different then," Jasper says, "Bella wanted to hang on. Y/n doesn't want to. They want normal. A average life with kids and a big house in a sunny place. I can't give that to them."

"Jas," Alice says softly.

"This is your mate," Rose says, "and you'd leave them?"

"I'd rather them be happy and alive then be with me and regret everything," Jasper says, "it's the best decision. And after what happened. I don't need to put their laugh at risk. It was stupid of me."

"You can't leave your mate," Bella says, "you love them."

"I do love them and that's why I'm making this choice," Jasper says, "I can't trust myself not to hurt them. It's not your decision it's mine. And I've made my mind up. We're leaving. Carlisle is already preparing for us to leave."

"You're making a mistake-"

"Maybe I am," Jas says, "but if it saves their life... I don't really care."

No one else could argue. Because at the end of the day... They believed he was right. None of them think he'd ever hurt his mate on purpose but... on accident. Another incident like the last one. It's possible and sure leaving his mate hurts but watching them die. Know he caused it. That would be a whole other level of pain. He wouldn't be able to live like that. So the Cullens decided to move again. As they were preparing the move Jasper was sneaking every last glance at you. Trying to memorize their body, their scent. Everything about them. If he has to leave he wants to prepare to severe the ties. Not that it was hard. Y/n wanted nothing to do with him. Swapping seats, ignoring his texts. Not sparing him even so much as a passing glance.

'It's for the better' Jasper reminds himself. If he disappears like this- when they already clearly doesn't want him around them then it won't hurt them. It won't break them like leaving broke Bella. They won't try to do anything to bring Jasper back. They'll let the relationship fade into nothing but memories. Just like it needs to.

After a couple days they had everything packed. Loaded up and ready to go. Esme and Carlisle had went ahead to get everything ready at the newest house. Everyone else was getting ready to leave. However they remained with Jasper as he stalls. His focus on a box full of things.

"Are you ready?" Alice asks Jasper. The blond looks down at the picture of him and his mate. He bites his lip lightly. No. He doesn't want to leave. He wants to pull his mate into his arms and hold them until the end. He doesn't want to run away.

"I want a minute," He says softly, "ya know to collect my thoughts."

"Okay," Alice says, "we'll be on our way then. Come on guys." Rose and Emmet leave with her. However Bella stays back for a second.

"Jasper," She says softly, "you know they deserve closure for all this."

"The closure is me leaving," Jasper says, "I can't hurt them if I'm not here."

"Whatever," Bella says, "I can't make you do this right. Come on Edward."

The two join the other vampires starting to pack into their cars. The go, leaving Jasper alone in the empty house. He sighs as he stares into the box of his things from his relationship. Pictures, mementos from dates, things she'd give him. He felt guilty. He felt like the world was punishing him for his past sins. As if Y/n being his mate was a cruel joke fate was playing on him. Give him the most amazing soulmate then just- make him not able to be with them. Not trust himself to protect them. To save them from himself. Hw wants to trust his hope. That maybe somehow someway he'd see them again. And they'd be able to be happy. He wants to hope for that future. But fate would never let him have it.

"So the rumors are true?" He hears a soft voice asks. He looks away from the box and turns to see his mate. His eyes widen. This can't be real. There is no way they are actually here. But it looks so real. His mate. His love. Right there. So close he could touch them. He wants to. He wants to take their hand and pull them into a soft kiss. But he knows that will only make it more painful. "You're really moving away and you aren't even saying goodbye."

"Carlisle got a new job," He lies, "a town needing doctors..."

"Bella told me you were leaving because of me," They say softly making whatever his lie was going to be pointless, "said that I should come down here and talk to you before you leave."

"You didn't have to," He says, "it was a bad idea. You should go home."

"I think I deserve an explanation," They say, "I mean- I wanna know what happened at the lake."

He tenses. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to go over it. He wanted to just move on. Just leave. Run away from his problems.

"It's only fair to me," They say softly, "if you get to just leave- then I get to know."

"I'm leaving so you don't need an explanation," Jas says, "I'm leaving so you can forget what happened and me."

"I don't want to forget you Jas," They say.

"Well you should," Jasper says, "I'm not good for you."

"You don't get to decide that," They say firmly, "you don't know if you're too good for me."

"Y/n I am a monster!" Jasper snaps, "I almost killed you at the lake. If my family was any later you'd be dead. If I'm around you won't be safe."

"But I'll have you," They mumble.

"That's stupid," Jasper says, "you'd risk your life to be around a monster-"

"You're not a monster," They say, "I know you Jasper you are a great guy-"

"I'm a beast," He says, "you know that. I could kill you. I can tell how you feel. And you're scared. You're afraid of me."

"I'm afraid of losing you," They say tearing up, "Jasper I love you! I want you to stay here with me. Whatever you're going through- whatever is happening to you. I want to be there for you. To support you- to ease the pain. Because I am in love with you Jasper."

He wants to pull them in his arms and never let go. But he knows that it's dangerous. That he shouldn't be allowed to be this close to them after what happened. He backs away.

"Jasper please just talk to me," They say, "what's happening?"

"I am not normal," He says, "I'm a vampire- I'm a monster. I kill people." They stay silent. "I've killed so many people. Sometimes I don't mean it. And I tried to stop. But its so strong- the hunger. The bloodlust- When I look at you it's so painful because I won't to protect you but I also want to devour you."

"You wouldn't hurt me," They say boldly.

"I almost killed you."

"You hesitated," They point out, "and when they knocked you away you stopped."

"That means nothing," Jasper says, "who is to say that they could do that again?"

"I say they won't have to," Y/n says, "because you won't hurt me. Because I know you love me as well."

"Y/n I'm leaving tonight," He says, "there is no changing my mind."

"So you leave," They say, "fine- I wanna come with you."

"No you have a life here- you have family here," He says, "you'll get the life you want if you stay away from me-"

"The life I want is with you," They say, "Jasper don't walk away from us."

"I'm doing this for you," He says, "I doing this to keep you alive. I'm doing this because i love you so much and I want you to have everything you've always wanted." They move closer taking his hands into theirs.

"Jas-"

"I need to be stronger if I want to be with you," he says, "I need to have more control. And I will make sure I have that control and maybe if you'll still have me- then we can get together. But now? I can't risk hurting you- or losing you. So please. Please understand I'm not doing this without thinking. Because I've thought of every alternative and this is the only solution that will work."

"Jas," They whimper.

"I promise this won't be the end of us," He says, "one day- we'll find each other again."

Y/n moves pulling Jasper into a soft kiss. He moves deepening it. Making the one kiss last for all the years they won't have each other. After a while he finally breaks the kiss so his partner can breath.

"I'm sorry," He says softly.

"I love you Jasper," They say.

"I love you Y/n," He says, "we'll meet again."

He hugs them tightly. Then steps from the house climbing into his car. He'll see them again. He has hope that he'll see them again.

@whattheheckisevengoingon @treestarrrrrrrr @thequeendesi

#jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #jasper whitlock x reader #jasper cullen #jasper x reader #jasper whitlock #jasper cullen x reader #twilight x reader #twilight

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honsoolie · 5 years ago

Text

don’t rush | 02

pairing: Yoongi/reader

genre: slight enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, eventual smut, classical pianist!yoongi, violinist!reader, they’re both actually really into each other but won’t admit it

warnings (for this chapter only): mentions of stage fright/performance anxiety, swearing, sexual references, slight angst, dad jokes :|

words: 6k

rating: +18

summary: You know, when Min Yoongi’s face isn’t screwed into an accusatory scowl, he looks exactly like the kind of guy you’d have no trouble falling in love with. Or, the conservatory au where Yoongi helps you get over your stage fright. In more ways than one.

a/n: didn’t plan to take this long for an update, life gets in the way, you know the drill. read 01 here and as always, this is crossposted to ao3 :)

When you get inside, the warmth welcomes you in. You’re not quite sure if it’s from the heating in the hallway or how Yoongi’s eyes had shone in the moonlight. You lean against the inner door frame, a happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, legs a little weak in the knee. You feel light-headed, maybe from being up late, maybe from your exhausting day, maybe from the lingering remnants of Yoongi’s cologne.

Did that really just happen? Did he really just ask for your number? Was this all a dream?

The euphoria is short-lasting, however. You still have some assignments waiting for you, and only a couple hours left until your morning classes. The tiredness never lets up, and your limbs heavy again as you make your way inside the lobby of your dorm.

Unknown number (2:47am): hi this is yoongi

Unknown number (2:47am): did you get inside ok?

You (2:48am): yeah

You (2:48am): did u?

Yoongi (2:50am): im walking back now

Yoongi (2:50am): you should sleep soon ://

You (2:51am): I still have hw :(

You (2:51am): text me when ur back inside too

Yoongi (2:53am): lmaoo is it counterpoint hw

Yoongi (2:54am): it’s so sweet that you care for my safety ;(

You (2:54am): yes sadly

You (2:55am): ofc I care, we can’t have our amazing star pianist get hurt

Yoongi (2:55am): im home now

Yoongi (2:58am): you have a thing for praise, don’t you

Even though you can’t see him, you splutter alone in your room, roommate fast asleep. There is no way that means what you think it means.

You (3:00am): idk where u got that from

You (3:03am): maybe i do, you’ll have to find out

Yoongi (3:04am): I would, but you have to finish your analysis worksheet :/

You (3:15am): ugh, fuck it

You (3:15am): im going to sleep

You (3:15am): ill just wake up early tomorrow to finish it before class

Yoongi (3:16am): what? No goodnight? >:(

Yoongi (3:17am): some manners you have

Yoongi (3:17am): what a rude girl

You (3:18am): aw have i been bad?

You (3:18am): I’m sooooo sorry

You (3:19am): gn

The minutes tick by, and you grow more indignant than you should. Is he serious?

Who doesn’t say goodnight back? Maybe you scared him off. Maybe all this “flirtatious” banter was just how Yoongi talked to his friends. How would you know? You don’t know anything about him.

The same insidious doubt creeps back in. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he just wanted to introduce himself to another music student in the department, you all were supposed to know each other anyway. Maybe, worst of all, he had really only meant to wake you up in the music building as a simple courtesy, no intent behind it. You groan as you sink into your bed, cradling your head in your hands.

You (3:27am): some hypocrite you are

Yoongi (3:30am): I was in the showerrr relax

Yoongi (3:31am): hm you have been bad

Yoongi (3:33am): maybe I should punish you

You (3:29am): u wish

You (3:30am): but goodnight for real, we have class in five hours :”(

Yoongi (3:31am): goodnight

Yoongi (3:31am): save me a spot next to you

You were in the world’s smallest big crisis.

Was Yoongi actually serious when he asked you to save a seat? Or were you just indulging in wishful thinking? Was he flirting with you last night? And if he was, what are you supposed to do now?

Whatever he meant, you would have to face him now.

The endless litany of maybes and what-ifs grows louder in your head, even louder than last night during your text correspondence with him.You elect to use your backpack to save the seat next to you as class time draws nearer, chiding yourself for overthinking something so casual, but it does nothing to soothe your existential anxiety.

“Thanks for saving me a spot, I’m so glad you remembered.” A voice brings you out of your reverie. It takes a moment to register who it is at first. Your eyes meet the traditional college garb first, sweatpants and an overwashed fundraising t-shirt, then the half-tamed cowlick, that ever-present cup of coffee. Your breath catches in your throat, breathtaking despite the casual circumstances. It’s just another class lecture, you chastise yourself, but your gut twists nonetheless.

Seeing Yoongi in such close quarters is still an adjustment for you, his presence (or even the thought of being close to him) a shock to your body. You had spent so much time languishing after him that even now, it still feels like waking up into a dream.

You clear your throat, stalling, “Yeah, putting my backpack in the seat next to mine was sooo hard. You should compensate me for my labor.”

You try to put on the flirty smile that you were wearing last night, but it feels like a grimace. God, you are way too nervous for this.

You realize you’ll never get tired of the way he laughs at your shitty jokes, the way his shoulders shake and eyes crinkle at the corners.

“Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.” He sinks into the seat next to you and doesn’t spare you a second glance.

Dr. Won walks in, the picture of put-togetherness, killing whatever flirty response you had formulated.

You thought you had enjoyed having a crush before, but admiring someone and imagining a life together from afar was worlds away from talking and sitting next to said object of affection. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You shouldn’t be tripping all over yourself when Yoongi sits next to you in lecture.

Whatever Dr. Won is saying is drowned out by Yoongi sitting next to you. It feels deeply unfair how he affects you, when he gets to sit next to you like nothing important is happening. It’s just another day in lecture, preparing for the midterms coming up.

He’s not even doing anything, minding his own business. You shouldn’t be swooning when he is just sitting there, again bouncing his leg, taking diligent notes. From the furtive glances you steal, even his handwriting is attractive. Endearing, even if it was a little messy and looping over the printed lines.

True fact: the only reason why Yoongi fidgets so much is because of the effect you had on him. It drives him up the wall, the way you keep tucking your hair behind your ear. He envies your unfaltering concentration, the look in your eye when you see something on the Powerpoint slides that you have to jot down.

Yoongi can’t stand to silently sit next to you without doing anything anymore. Taking his pen, he scrawls on the corner of your neat notes. He knows it’ll piss you off, but that’s the reaction that he wants.

do you have any idea what is going on

He watches carefully for your reaction. Satisfaction creeps into his neutral expression when you notice, confusion turning into what could only be a lovestruck smile, and then into an irritated grimace. Fuck, even the curve of your wrist was enough to drive him crazy. You pick up your pen, writing back.

No, stop writing on my stuff

Okay, new plan, Yoongi concedes. He settles for writing on the corner of his own notes, tearing off the corner. He slips the paper into your lap, fingertips skimming the top of your thigh. He doesn’t notice, but he leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake.

don’t you think dr. won dresses like an old hag

You write back on the scrap of paper:

actually you could learn a thing or two from her

Yoongi smirks, in classic Yoongi fashion.

You know I would rock a long skirt like her

Yoongi watches you read his message, smile, and then tuck the note into your notebook.

After class, Dr. Won reminds everyone of the midterm coming up two weeks from now, and that’s when Yoongi senses an opportunity. The two of you walk out of class together, forced to walk side by side because of the student foot traffic.

“Do you like, want to study together sometime?” Yoongi blurts out, louder than he needs to be, even among the hum of the other students.

He clears his throat. “I mean, we’ve shared a lot of classes, so.”

You can’t help but laugh in surprise, or maybe incredulousness. You resist the urge to let the satisfaction show on your face. “I didn’t know you ever noticed.”

“Of course I did. You’re like, the biggest nerd on the planet.” Even when Yoongi is teasing you, he can’t help but sound bashful.

You gasp in mock offense. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.” You both stop, standing at the mouth of the lecture hall.

“Of course not.” He’s awfully close to you, close enough that you can see the mole on the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m asking you to be my study buddy.”

It’s not necessary to be standing this close. Sure, the hallway is busy, but not that busy.

“Study buddy? That sounds lame.” You scoff, playing hard to get. Both you and Yoongi know you’re going to say yes anyway.

“What else do you want me to call you? My homework homie?”

“Uh, yeah . That sounds way better than study buddy. ” You’re more proud of your humor than anything else, even if it earns a deserved eye-roll from Yoongi.

“And midterms are coming up. So you know, mutually beneficial.” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, peering at you from behind the rim.

“Like… friends with benefits?” You can’t help yourself. It’s just too easy to flirt with him.

Yoongi tongues his cheek, he grins. “Only if you want it to be.” He’s having way too much fun with this.

You try to hide your reaction, but Yoongi notices anyway. (He notices a lot of things you don’t realize.) Your wide-eyed shock, the blush that’s flushing down your neck, the way you open your mouth as if to say something equally as flirtatious back, your laugh, like this is actually way more casual than it is.

“So I’ll take that as a yes,” He says. You could get used to the playful lilt in his voice.

“Only if you promise you won’t just copy my work.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, suddenly very aware of how tall he is.

“I live and die by the honor code, y/n. Of course I won’t,” Yoongi says, leaning ever closer to you in the cramped hallway.

You quirk an eyebrow. “Does a man of honor text me like you did last night?”

“Oh come on. If you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to learn to laugh at dirty humor.” Friends? It’s a start, at least.

“Who said that I didn’t like dirty humor?”

“Hmm, I did.” There’s a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. “You’d have to be a woman of your word and show me.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You flash an innocent smile, like you don’t see the implication of what he’s saying.

Tuesdays have always been the most bittersweet day of the week for you. It’s lesson day, but oh, it’s lesson day. It feels like the day of judgement, every single week. It’s a culmination of all the blood and tears that you’ve poured into your music in the past week, another chance at evaluation. You’ve known your violin teacher longer than you’ve been in college, and it still shouldn’t scare you this much.

The nervousness spins and dips in your chest as you make your way up the winding stairs that lead to the music building. You usually soothe the apprehension by reminding yourself of all the things you’ve done to prepare, just like you usually do before you go out on stage. This week you were supposed to get the rest of the Bach partita memorized and cleaned up, but it still resides in your memory as disjointed bits and pieces of what it’s actually supposed to sound like. You try to run through the parts that you were stuck on last night, but you draw a blank. You usually don’t take this long to commit pieces to memory, but when you open up your score, all you can think about is the unmoving stare of the audience. Seeing your life flash before your eyes every time you stare at your pencil markings isn’t exactly conducive to productive practice sessions.

As you retrieve your violin from your locker and make your way to the practice room, you feel like you’re preparing yourself for your own undoing—every scale, every tick of the metronome—another step towards your demise.

It shouldn’t be this serious, but the pitter-pattering of your heart says otherwise. You glance at the clock. It’s time. You pack up now, so you have a couple extra minutes to wait solemnly outside of her office, staring at the posters that advertise the professionals who come to perform concerts at your college. Next week, a pianist and violinist duo is coming. In the picture, they’re smiling proudly next to a Steinway piano. They look proud of themselves. They probably don’t feel like they’re allergic to the stage, probably live for the audience’s applause. That’s probably how they ended up there on the poster, after all.

Your violin teacher isn’t scary. She’s a homey, lovely old woman whose wrinkles come from a lifetime of smiling. She’s the type to bring you sweet, homemade pastries that are almost as warm as her hugs during the toughest parts of the semester. Which makes the moments when she’s unhappy all the more painful. It’s not her fear that plagues you, but disappointment.

The door clicks open, and you have no more time to ponder your failures as a musician. You gather your things and head inside. Nothing inside her office has changed since the previous week. The same teetering stack of well-loved method books sits on her chair, the same humidifier whirring steadily in the corner, the same Dr. Kim Hyung-Seo sitting on the piano bench.

“Good afternoon, y/n! How’s the Bach coming along?” She asks, like you haven’t spent the past week treating this piece like your mortal enemy. She takes a sip of her warm chamomile tea, from the same snowman-shaped mug that she’s used every week, because she is that endearing. In another life, she would probably be your grandmother.

“Good morning. Ah, you know…” You trail off and gesture into the air, trying to hide your grimace. How could you possibly describe the unease and unsureness around performing without crossing some kind of professional boundary?

“Let’s hear it, it’s okay. Are you all warmed up?” You nod as you unpack your things again. As you move to put the Bach score on the music stand, she tuts.

“Didn’t we agree that this would be memorized last week?” Dr. Kim flips through her lesson notes, inky blue scrawling over the pages. “Yeah, it should be memorized. Close the score, darling.” Usually, when Dr. Kim calls you darling, warmth unfurls in your chest and you beam. You’re not feeling particularly warm right now.

“Ah, okay…” With slow reluctance, you close the score, the plain paper cover mocking you. You lift your bow to your violin, and shut your eyes. You don’t want to watch this.

Yoongi (4:38pm): Hey

Yoongi (4:38pm): wanna study tonight :]

If there’s anything Yoongi is good at, it’s having perfect timing. You half-walk, half-run out of the music building, sucking frigid air into your lungs. The cold weather seems to force the tears back into your eyes. If there was ever a worst-case scenario for how a lesson could go, then that was what just played out in the music room.

Shutting your eyes won’t stop the barrage of images, playing the world’s cruelest slideshow behind your eyelids. Your teacher’s pursed lips, the still fingers clasped over her mug, the pinched brow.

“y/n, we don’t have much more time to clean it up…” Her words echo in your head. “We’ll try again next week…” The disappointment was the worst thing, the downward tone in her voice. “I expected better…”

You (5:15pm): maybe

You (5:15pm): what time?

Yoongi (5:20pm): like now

Yoongi (5:23pm): are you busy?

You (5:25pm): no I just finished up a lesson

You (5:26pm): i’m about to study in the library if you want to join me

Yoongi (5:30pm): I don’t want to go to the library :(

You (5:31pm): why not

Yoongi (5:32pm): if I feed you dinner will you come to my apartment

Yoongi (5:33pm): I really don’t want to walk to the library it’s too damn cold

After all, the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

You (5:35pm): fine

You (5:35pm): it better be a hell of a dinner

Yoongi (5:36pm): of course it will

Yoongi sends you his location, and you’re walking as fast as you can through the campus to make it to his apartment before you can freeze your fingers off.

Yoongi’s expression is nothing short of scandalized when you show up at his door. It’s a typical mouse hole apartment, his front door identical to all the other ones that you’d passed to get here.

“You’re not wearing gloves? In this weather?”

“I don’t have any…” You rasp out. You’re tired. Your throat hurts from trying to hold tears back during your entire lesson, and you have no spirit left to give Yoongi an innuendo-laced comeback.

I expected better.

“Oh my god, you’ve been playing violin for how many years and nobody ever told you to wear gloves when it’s cold?” He leads you inside, the warmth abating the cold that’s wormed its way underneath your clothes and into your bones.

“For God’s sake, y/n, hasn’t anyone ever told you about the importance of blood circulation?” Yoongi clasps your hands between his, rubbing and blowing air on them to warm them up. He doesn’t notice your surprise amid his chastising, muttering something about common sense. You don’t try to keep your guard up this time, just trying to bite tears back at the mention of musicianship. The firm press of his hands grounds you.

“There.” He smiles, proud of himself. “Warm now?”

Oh yeah, you’re definitely warm. In every dimension of the word. But you don’t tell him that, so you settle for a weak nod.

“You can put your stuff there. I’m hungry now, let’s eat first?” You hum in affirmation as you settle your heavy backpack on his cramped couch.

It turns out that Min Yoongi’s idea of gourmet cooking is heating up two freezer-burnt Hot Pockets while you watch him putter around the tiny kitchenette. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his glasses, and this is when you finally internalize that Yoongi will always look good no matter what he does or wears or says.

“You made it seem like you were cooking,” You say, just to fill the silence.

“Uhhhh, I don’t know who told you I was capable of cooking, but they were wrong. I can show you a good time in other ways, no?”

You snort.

In hopes of saving time, he microwaves both of Hot Pockets at the same time. You silently bristle at the fact that even your dinner is getting more action than you are these days.

You and Yoongi eat together in his tiny living room, sitting on mismatched stools.

“How did your lesson go?” Yoongi says, more focused on eating than on you.

“Oh…” You set your Hot Pocket down, sighing in defeat. The image of Dr. Kim sitting behind the piano bench, her dissatisfaction like a noxious cloud. “I… I… got ripped apart. I’m a little behind with preparing for the Bach festival, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do or prepare will make me less stressed about it.” You slump onto the counter, recounting all the things you did wrong in your lesson today. I expected better.

“What’s the stress about? We still have over a month, right?” You’re suddenly jealous of Yoongi. His nonchalance, his seemingly constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay.

“I’m not worried about that… just, no matter how much I practice, I’m gonna fuck it up on stage.” Your forehead pinches in frustration.

“Are you that nervous?”

“I’ve always been this nervous. For any performance. I haven’t performed alone in a while… and you know. It’s Bach, and everyone expects me to do some amazing job, and it’s like, I don’t know if I can deliver that and-” Yoongi eases his hand on your shoulder, calm, reassuring. He looks concerned. Like he cares. Like a friend.

“When was the last time you played something just for the fun of it?”

“I don’t know, maybe my freshman year? I used to arrange themes from movies.”

“We should work on something together, just for fun. We’re such a perfect instrument combo, there’s so much repertoire for violin and piano.”

“What did you have in mind? Do you even have enough time for that?” (You know you don’t have enough time for that.)

“It doesn’t even have to be a difficult piece. It could be something easy or hard, I don’t care.” Yoongi ponders his next words over a bite of his food. “I… I... just want to see you less stressed out. And music should always be fun, not just for a grade. What kind of music would you be making if you weren’t happy?”

“I don’t know…”

“I know this one Brahms piece that I think you’d like. Totally fits your vibe. We can just work on it slowly, you know? Or we could arrange the Anpanman theme song, I don’t care.”

“I think I’m mostly good for the midterm, except for the composer dates,” Yoongi spins around in his office chair, dragging his feet on the ground.

“Me too,” You say, as you drink in the sight of his room. For someone who claims to abhor studying and all things academic, Yoongi appears to be quite the organized student. Despite the constant claim that his education is merely a necessary evil, he keeps his notes organized in uniform binders on a well-cared for bookshelf. The bookshelf is adjacent to the extremely detailed wall calendar, marked full with due dates and deadlines in pens of various colors.

He runs his fingers over the binders to locate the binder allocated to the species counterpoint class you’re taking together.

“I already have flashcards for everything before the Romantic Era, but I’m so fucked for everything else.”

“Why not just use Quizlet like everyone else?” You say. You eye his neatly made bed and the Kumamon stuffed animal shoved hastily underneath it.

“Back in my day, we used flashcards like cavemen,” Yoongi reasons, despite the fact that your birthdays are months within each other. “And besides, they feel better in your hand.” Of course, they’re indexed by color and musical era.

“Ugh, I hate sitting at my desk. My back is starting to hurt,” Yoongi says, despite having worked for about ten minutes. “Do you want to lay down?” He pats the fluffy comforter adjacent to him. Yoongi doesn’t wait for your response however, plopping down on the bed with an audible thump.

“Okay, old man,” You jibe, but you’ve also been sitting for a majority of the day. Your back is aching too, but you’ll never admit it to him.

Sometimes, at times like these, you wish you could just muster up the courage and stop playing this game of cat and mouse with him. When you lay on his sheets that smell like him, quizzing each other, you wonder what would happen if you confessed your feelings for him, right then and there.

Or outlined exactly how exactly you would take his cock in your mouth, given the chance. Other times, you consider the fact that he might like to play with his food before diving in. Whatever it was, it scared you, the unease climbing up your spine and staying put.

You wonder if he understands the implication of you so casually lounging on his bed, but then you realize that you likely don’t exist in the realm of romantic possibilities for him. He likely sees you as the nerdy, sexless violinist that spends all her time slaving away in the practice room or the library. That’s why you’re here, after all. To help study for the midterms coming up. “Being friends with him is better than nothing,” you tell yourself, but you can’t really bring yourself to believe it.

You don’t remember, or at least don’t care to, when Yoongi started touching every aspect of your life. It’s really only been a couple of weeks since the two of you started studying together. You don’t dare to imagine how much of your thoughts he would occupy if you continue your friendship into the coming months. If your crush of massive proportions was bad before, it’s truly out of hand now. It certainly didn’t help that he actually knew you existed now. He spammed you gifs of baby animals while he was on the way to class, texted you links to performances of pieces that he was working on. He even began to send you teasing texts on the mornings that he made it to the practice rooms before you.

Every experience you have is colored by thoughts of him. The coffee that you drink like ambrosia conjures up images of him sitting across from you in some far-off sunlit cafe, laughing at all your jokes. On the nights when sleep escapes you, you lay awake rehashing over and over what you had said to him on the previous day. You even fall into reveries when he’s sitting there right next to you.

It’s inescapable, especially with the Bach Festival looming over your head. The more time you spend in the practice room, the more you go back to that one fateful night. You can still see the image of him now, sitting before the piano, playing Chopsticks.

You both make your way through the fat deck of flashcards, Yoongi quizzing you first.

“J.S. Bach?” You note to yourself even the upswing in his voice was cute. How did you ever let yourself get so whipped?

“1685 to…” You falter, still stuck on his voice. Even his voice drives you crazy.

“Come on, you should know this.” He drives his point home by poking you in the side, and he likes the gasp that you make.

“1750.” Of course you know Bach’s birth and death dates by heart. You see it every time you open up your score. Even the scant prod he gave you in the side, over your clothes, is enough to make your skin heat up.

“And if you ever tickle me again, you won’t live long enough for midterms,” You threaten, but your harsh tone of voice doesn’t reach the light in your eyes.

“Brahms?”

“Ugh, fuck, I don’t know. 1832 to?”

“Wrong.” He sets the cards down next to him, looking at you in mock disappointment. In an instant, he attacks you with tickles, and your efforts to bat him away are fruitless.

“This-this is what you get for not knowing when Brahms was born! Learn through punishment! 1833 to 1897, remember that next time!!” He collapses on top of you, burying his face in your neck, unrelenting. Yoongi sounds almost gleeful in your torture.

You writhe under his touch, and for all the wrong reasons.

For the first time in your life, you’re almost glad you’re ticklish. Your eyes roll back into your head, not of your own accord. It’s too much, the soft skin of his cheek pressed up against your neck, the warm weight of his body against yours, the way his legs cage you in. A moan slips in between your helpless giggles, and Yoongi doesn’t miss it.

“Uhhh, what was that?” He doesn’t stop, merciless in his advance. “I didn’t know you liked tickling… like that.” He’s teasing you, now. He can’t hide his pleased grin.

Between gasps, you manage to pant, “I… don’t…”

“Then what? Tell me.” That’s when Yoongi relents, leaning back. He continues to straddle you, because he’s cruel like that. (And because he likes it too.)

“You’re just… ugh, I don’t know… so close.” In Yoongi’s eyes, you’re a study in debauchery. From your struggle, your hair is mussed, the hem of your shirt awry. Your cheeks are flushed, from embarrassment or from the tickling, you don’t know. Your chest frantically rises and falls, trying to regain your breath.

You, on the other hand, feel fucking ridiculous. Contrary to popular belief, being on the recieving end of tickling is fucking physically exhausting.

Yoongi is stuck on the hot and bothered look on your face, except for the hard look in your eye. You despise being tickled, even if it is Min Yoongi doing the tickling. He wonders what you’d look like if you were underneath him in… different circumstances.

Would it compare?

“I… I… I just…” You avert your gaze now, hiding your face behind your hands. You can’t stand to look at him right now.

“Spill it, or I’ll go back to tickling you until you break.” He grabs your hands away from your face, pinning them next to your head.

He really isn’t going to make this easy for you, is he.

This is overwhelming. The eye contact is too much. The weight of his hands on your wrists, holding you down, is too much. The way his panting breath tickles the skin beneath your collar is too much. You’ve had a bad day, the voice in the back of your head whispers. He makes you forget how awful this semester has been. He makes you feel better. Make this day easier on yourself. Just give in.

There’s no hiding it now, you concede.

You shut your eyes, unable to face him. “It’s just… been a while.”

“Uh-huh. Continue?” He places his hands back on your stomach, as if in warning.

“Since uhhhh… I’ve done… anything… with anyone…” Your words hang heavy in the air. Your secret is out.

He laughs. He really has the audacity to laugh.

“Shut up! I’m just like, touch starved, okay?” You’re definitely just blushing out of embarrassment, at this point.

Yoongi starts to ponder if he crossed too far of a line, but you continue anyway. You huff, indignant and desperate to cover your ass. This is not how you ever imagined telling Yoongi you were ever interested in him, sexual or not.

“Not everyone is like, the campus pussy magnet and gets to fuck whenever they want,” You say.

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m not the campus pussy magnet. We’re... not so different. I haven’t been with anyone, um, in a while.” Now Yoongi takes his turn to blush and stutter. He does that thing he always does when he’s nervous, runs a hand through his hair and lets it rest on the nape of his neck.

“I find that hard to believe. No need to lie out of pity. Like, come on. Look at you. You’re all…” You gesture down his body, “And you have that whole vibe going on, and you’re tall, and you have good taste in cologne, and-and-and you play the piano , and ugh. You should know that by now.” You babble on. You’re not that good at keeping secrets, anyway. Might as well let the cat out of the bag while you’re at it.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but you’re not fazed. By now, you’re used to the long silences that elapse when you’re with him. You wait for him to talk first, just so you can discreetly enjoy the feeling of him straddling you for a little longer. You try to pass off the silence as you quietly fuming at him for calling out your lackluster sex life, but you’re really just trying get yourself together.

Then he starts laughing. Again.

“What are you laughing for now?” Your brow furrows in frustration.

“Nothing, nothing, don’t be mad. I just didn’t think that tickling would be a turn on for you.”

“It’s not!”

“To be completely honest with you, you look like one of those really innocent soft girls on the outside but you’re actually like, into choking and have a secret sex dungeon.” He doesn’t seem to care that you’ve all but revealed your massive, terminal crush on him.

You sigh, but you’re just glad he gave you something to fire back with.

“You and I both know that the university dorms are too small for a sex dungeon, Yoongi. I can’t even have candles in my room. What sex dungeon is complete without candles?”

“Oh, a devil in the details. The ambiance is important, I see…” That devious smile of his makes a comeback.

“Oh, shut up. Give me the flashcards, four-eyes.” He relinquishes the flashcards, but he still continues to straddle you.

“Woah, there’s no need to insult my glasses.”

You ignore him, desperate to move on from your momentary lapse in judgement. “Haydn?”

“1732 to 1809. What about music? Music must be important if you care about the ambiance. Answer my question.”

You laugh to cover up how worked up you are. “Maybe you can find out after we finish reviewing. Scarlatti?”

“1660 to 1725. What kind of music do you listen to? R&B, something sexy?” He sits up now, spurred on by your refusal to answer his questions.

“Or do you listen to classical music then, too? Does Chopin get your blood flowing?” He’s being insufferable now.

You groan into the pillow. “Yoongiii, let’s focus.”

“If it’s something like Liszt, I’m sure I have a couple recommendations.”

Yoongi sits up straighter, waggles his eyebrows in a way you definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Or, I could record something for you…”

You snap. “Just, I don’t know, sometimes I listen to music?” Your attempts to stop the blushing are in vain, heat blooming across your cheeks and down your neck. It’s even harder to stop when it’s your embarrassingly short sexual history on the line.

“I prefer dirty talk anyways…” You murmur under your breath, wishing he could just get the fuck off your case. The more he keeps talking about things like this, in that tone of voice, the harder it’s going to get to keep your ever-growing crush a secret.

Still, some small part (let’s be honest, the monkey brain part of you) of you, the part of you that aches for him, wants to spur him on.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! Nothing.”

“Hmm… something about dirty talk?” Fuck, does Yoongi have a good ear. He smiles. He knows he’s gotten you now.

Okay, you should probably admit to yourself that he’s flirting with you now. The touches, the holding you down, the insistence on pushing this tiny matter, it all adds up. And the math says that Min Yoongi is flirting with you.

“Mmm, nothing.” You snuggle a little deeper into his bedsheets, playing coy.

“You know, like during sex? Don’t make me tickle you again, because I will stoop that low.”

“I don’t remember saying that…” You mock-pretend to ponder his question, catch your bottom lip between your teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his gaze fall downward. You know you’ve gotten him now.

“Can you refresh my memory?”

“Like… you know.” He shrugs.

“I’m an auditory learner. Do you have an example?”

“Hmm, let me think… I’ll tease you until you’re begging for me to touch you properly? Does that ring a bell for you?”

“No…” You bring your hands to your face to cover up your blush, and because you can’t stand to look at him. Not when he’s talking to you like that, with that look in his eye, his hands on your body. “It doesn’t…” You laugh, even beneath his weight.

He laughs. “I’m just teasing. You’re so cute when I get a rise out of you.”

Oh.

#armywriterssupport #btsgoldnet #yoongi smut #bts smut #yoongi fanfic #yoongi scenarios #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts #bts x reader

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mx-in-words · 5 years ago

Text

monsta x reaction to him not being your first bias

Hi, sweet! I'd love to know how the boys would react when they discovered that your bias was initially another member.

plot: in a party, all the monsta x members with you and some friends start playing truth or dare. Minhyuk asks you to hug your first bias even if you date one of the members.

↬ Shownu

He got in shook when you hugged jooheon

jh: OH YEAHHHH with all the respect hyung.

shownu just ...

He is mad ( •̀ω•́ )

he didn't think you would have another bias

you were his and how could this even...

he gave a yellow smile and just let it go

at home, you realise he was a bit off

you: baby please, talk to me

in his mind, he was thinking about how could he stole you from jooheon

maybe joo is better than him

he would make you happier, more loved

and he was afraid that he could lose you

you hold his hands, making him seat with you in the bed

you: listen very carefully okay? I love you so much. My heart hurts because I can see how far those thoughts are going inside this pretty head of yours.

you: Let me explain, I used to not know you and joo was cute on TV and shows. That's it. When I actually saw you for the first time, I just had this feeling that nobody else in the room matter you know? This feeling was so unique and I still feel it for you. Everyday. Stop stressing yourself and overthinking. I am yours and I will never love someone like I love you.

he kissed you like it was the first and last kiss

he might cry who knows

Shownu wants to show that he feels the same for you. And he will. Everyday.

sh: You are my world, I am so sorry. I love you so so so much that I don't know how to live without your love. Thanks baby

cuties 🥺

↬ Wonho

it's so sad the way he opened his arms and you were already hugging hyungwon.

you: sorry baby, he was the model 🥺

hyungwon just kept quiet because all he wants is to survive so he can one day sleep for weeks.

the night went and wonho pretended he was okay (very bad he is not a good actor).

but at home

prepare yourself for the drama

wh: so hyungwon huh? He is better looking than me, I agree

you: keep this attitude and I will not talk like an adult about this.

Wonho knew you were right.

you: trust me okay?

he hugged you, he just needs your affection right know

you: came here.

he lay down on your chest, while you pass your fingers through his hair

you: first of all, hyungwon is a sleepy bitch. Second of all, how could you ever? You know you are my angel. Do my actions makes you question my love?

wh: never. I never felt lonely until I met you. Now, if I don't have you beside me, life is just life, it's not exciting and... I trust you. I just don't want to lose you.

you: you won't. I promise you.

you: to prove my love, I will do some ramen for my men.

wh: god I love you so much

he really does, so much more than ramen, you can count on that.

↬ Kihyun

with all my heart, kihyun part will hurt, be ready.

kihyun actions hurt me sometimes (?)

his pride is too big, which results in him saying things he shouldn't.

so when he saw you hugging shownu, that was it. All the polite kihyun is dead by jealous and pride.

kh: I knew already, she is the type of girl who likes useless muscles, what can I say?

sh: I think you should watch out your words dude.

mh: it's just a joke kihyun, relax man.

kh: watch out shownu? Or what? You will steal my girl? All yours.

that's it. You picked your things and left.

Kyun offered you a ride but you refused, you called a taxi and went to your shared house with kihyun.

You put all your things in the visiting room and gave him a silent treatment for a week.

he did everything, flowers, crying at your door, calling you all the time.

so one day, you went out with friends and when you opened the door, you saw kihyun crying on the sofa.

that broke your heart, so you decided that was time to talk.

you set down, holding his hands.

kh: I am very sorry baby I... I know I had hurt you okay? I am an asshole but please forgive me, I will never act like a child again.

you: had you talked with shownu?

kh: yes, he forgave me.

you: you have to understand one thing and I want you to pay attention, I am here WITH YOU and I want to be treated like your lover. I deserve the same respect as you do. If you are afraid to lose me or jealous, talk to me but don't attack me, okay?

kh: okay I promise.

you: also tomorrow I want a princess day with food, spa, shopping and sex I don't care.

kh: done, my princess. I love you.

and thank god this fight is over

yay 😚✌🏼

↬ Minhyuk

Already knew but pretend to be shook

listen minhyuk is your best friend partner in crime bf and private devil

so he knew kihyun was your bias before you knew him

mh: HOW COULD I BE BETRAYED LIKE THIS right in front of my salad

you: we are not a gay porn min quit it

kihyun was shook btw

minhyuk took this opportunity to make kihyun life harder because why not

mh: some people like to steal their FRIENDS girlfriend's. Watch out boys, a hamster can be bad eventually.

mh: owowowowowooowww Kihyun can you please not BREATH that close of my gf please? Just bc you were her bias doesn't mean she is single wow know your limits dude.

you: minhyuk stop jesus

mh: don't tell jesus what to do

later at your place, you could feel minhyuk very clingy

you: just for you to know, you are my world okay? I wouldn't leave for nothing and anyone. You know this right? I love you minhyuk.

minhyuk: I mean I know haha. But is good to listen... I love you so much, please don't leave me kihyun is so annoying.

you: I love you bitch

mh: I will never stop loving you

you: bitch

heart eyes mothrfuckr

yes this is the most romantic shit I have ever seen guys. 💗

↬ Hyungwon

really? Minhyuk???

he never asked you about your bias and those things

hyungwon.exe stopped working

actually he expected to be another member like shownu or wonho, even jooheon

but minhyuk? He was totally the opposite of him.

he kinda questioned why did you like him then?

maybe you were better with minhyuk? he was confused.

hyungwon is straightforward about his feelings so he waited for you when you both got at home to talk about this.

hw: so you prefer minhyuk personality?

you: baby no!!! look, minhyuk is nice ofc but... I didn't fall for him. You are the funniest, sweeter, kindest man that I had ever meet. I love to wake up with you being lazy, and the fact that you always talk to me and wait for the right moments. Please don't get these kinds of questions pop in your head okay? I love you, all of you, and only you.

hw: somehow that was everything I needed to hear, thanks baby. I love you too, all of you.

you: great let's watch my kdrama now.

hw: you mean, you watch while I take a nap cuddling with you?

you: that's exactly what I just said.

hw: perfect.

↬ Jooheon

Oh 🥵🥵🥵 this gif makes my body feel things

he was soft expecting your hug

but he saw you hugging kyun?

what

daddy did not like this attitude of yours

you know jooheon is pretty clear about how you are HIS babygirl

he won't be mad at you tbh

it was just a silly joke, so he just says to changkyun to not steal his girl and everyone thought it was fine

but deep down you knew it

oh you knew you were literally fucked

he won't let this pass

so when you got at home, you ran and locked yourself at the bathroom

jh: babygirl, are you okay?

you: please don't punish me, daddy, I swear I only love you. changkyun will never love me good like you, I will never love him like I love you please!!!!

jh: open the door and I will think about it.

When you opened the door, jooheon hugged you.

jh: is okay babygirl, I will be nice this time because you are so cute saying that you love me huh, so sweet. Let's go to bed, you seen tired, let daddy cuddle you okay?

you: thank you daddy 🥺

he actually fools you and made you scream his name all night.

Oops 🥵

but actually told you that he loves you and he knows you love him.

He trusts you.

He would give his life for you.

↬ Changkyun

Haaaa bitch this little tease won't EVER lose a chance to be cocky.

when you hugged wonho, it was his chance

ck: so wait, I am really that good in sex that makes you forget about mister muscles?

jh: jesus please don't

ck: honestly wonho you lose this godness TO ME? wow, what a dumb bitch wonho.

you: okay we get it please stop I love you bye

he stopped

but he knew

oh he knew that you were flustered

bc hell yeah he made you forget that wonho existed so ;)

and he is doing that because he knows you love him and he loves you. So why be jealous when you can SHOW OFF YOUR LOVE AND MAKE PPL LIFE'S MISERABLE?

satan collect your son. PLEASE

at home, you felt worried about him, thinking he may doubt you.

you: so... You know that you are so much better than wonho right?

ck: yeah I know

you: okay.... And hm... I love you so much.

ck: baby, I know. I am not insecure about it, relax, I know you love me and I love you and we will get married one day and have a little baby and be happy okay? That is on god's plan.

you: okay... Right. Are you sure you are okay?

he just looked at you

And kissed you so hard, that you left a low moan escape.

ck: keep doing those sounds for me and I might start the baby plan right now.

I hate him.

#monsta x reactions #monsta x imagines #mx scenarios #monsta x #ot7 #shownu #wonho #hyungwon #Kihyun #Minhyuk #jooheon #changkyun #fluff #mx reactions #kpop reactions #mx #mx au #monsta x au

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sky-sykes-starr · 5 years ago

Text

BTS Yandere Jungkook finds you after five years of your escape

Warning: abuse, violent, sexual themes

Note: This is actually a continuation of BTS Yandere finding out your pregnant

(Maknae Line)

Before you have left, you wrote a letter to Jungkook explaining why you were leaving. At the time of writing this letter it was the right thing to do. But you didn’t know that you would be regretting it.

Jungkook kept that letter and read it again.

Dear Jungkook,

We’ve been married for a year now, after you brought me from that auction sale. We’ve had good moments and bad, more bad than good and I’ve been on the receiving end of the stick with all the punishments you’ve given me. However, I have had enough of this and shall be leaving not on my own as you were able to give me something special that I shall be waiting for nine months. It’s such a shame that I’m not the only one despite the fact that I’ve always been nothing but loyal because if I did cheat on you, God knows what you would’ve done to me.

Jungkook had killed every women he had ever impregnated (which were the maids), feeling extreme guilt for cheating on you as you never cheated on him. Yet, he felt a sudden urge of anger that you thought you could leave with HIS CHILD. You were sorely mistaken as he has finally found you.

Well one of his many men found you, at the spa that you work at, when he was collecting his wife. That man got a huge pay raise for his services of locating you and Jungkook had tailed you the whole entire time not wanting to lose track of you.

You routine was simple send your twins of too school, work, finish work, collect your kids and take care of them.

When Jungkook laid eyes on the two boys he was shocked on how similar they looked to him when he was a child, the big brown eyes and their bunny smiles. Clearly, he had strong genes.

He was at the park, watching you playing with the boys. The only thing he knew about his kids were their names, Jae and Dae.

Time passed slowly, as he was watching the three of you without being noticed. However, when you had turned your back for a second Jae ran off to go play somewhere else as Dae was still standing next to you.

Jungkook saw his child running around without even Y/N knowing what was going on. Until Jae ends up coming towards, staring at him laughing. Jungkook smiles back.

Jae: Why are you alone?

Jungkook: I’m not alone I’m watching someone

Jae: I know you’ve been staring at mummy forever

Jae was quick and very intelligent for a four year compared to his brother whose face always lost in a dream like state.

Jungkook: I was not

Jae: Yes you were, lots of men stare at mummy because she got a big butt

He begins to laugh.

Jungkook doesn’t find it very funny though, just hw many men have been staring at you? Just how many men have you allowed to touch you? How many men fucked you?

His blood began to boil.

Jae: Mummy’s single

Jungkook: Is she now?

Jae: Come on, you can come and meet her

Jae takes his hands as his little legs begin to walk to you.

As you finish your conversation with another mother, who quickly ends the conversation after seeing the well-known mafia Jungkook. You turn to here Jae talking to you about a man he’s met.

Jae: Mummy, I found you a new boyfriend?

Of course you weren’t paying attention to the man as your full focus was on your son.

Y/N: Oh really?

You look up to see the man and it was none other than.... Jungkook, the man you ran away five years ago.

Your voice grows silent not knowing what to say to him. Until a light bulb flashes into your head.

Y/N: Come on kids, enough time at the park where gonna go home.

You grab Jae and Dae’s hand quickly and turn but you are stopped when a hand is on your shoulder.

Jungkook: I don’t think that be necessary as you all are coming with me!

You and your children turn towards him as his driver appears gesturing you to start walking.

Jae: Mummy, pick me up

You pick Jae and Dae begins to throw a fit and falls on to the floor crying his eyes out and screaming at the top of his lungs.

Dae: CARRY ME CARRY ME CARRY MEEEEEEE

Jungkook quickly picks him up in a rough manner causing Dae to cry even more not even knowing the man, screaming out your name.

Dae: MUMMY WAAHHHAHHHHHH

Jungkook: SHHHHH

Jungkook is trying everything he can to calm Dae down, but nothing is working.

Jungkook: QUIET

Dae stops and begins to whimper, burying his face into Jungkook’s shoulder. You were in complete utter shock on what the man did.

As you were all in the car the journey back to the house of horror was extremely quiet. You assumed that it was at least two hours long and with that time both the twins were asleep due to the boredom.

Jungkook: We’ve moved to a new place, somewhere further. I have my men collecting any valuable items, like pictures and stuff you know of you and the kids since I missed out on a lot

.....

Jungkook: The boys will easily settle down here, I even have built them with a play room that has a fort inside for them to be playing with something similar to mine. Yet, there bedrooms aren’t done yet, so they are going to be sleeping in the guest bedrooms. I’m not sure what they really like.

......

Jungkook: My mum was shocked when she found she became a grandma, she was devestated that she never got meet her grandchildren but mum and dad should be coming over next week to meet them and you. We live closer to them too.

.....

Jungkook: SAY SOMTHING

Dae begins to murmur with sudden outburst of Jungkook, not wanting to wake him up he rocks him back forth back to sleep.

Y/N: There gonna need there toys

Jungkook: Why would they need cheap ass toys when they can get the best of the best

Y/N: Because Dae can only sleep with his teddy and if he doesn’t he begins to cry and by the looks of what happened earlier you couldn’t handle

Jungkook: You raised them too soft to be attached, you need to be harsh with them, luckily I’m here

Y/N: You touch my kids and I shall kill you

Jungkook: Trust me, I won’t hurt them that much, as long as they obey, but is you who is going to be punished.

(Time skip)

It was dinner time and fresh plate of spaghetti and meatballs laid out on each persons plate.

Jae and Dae were awfully quiet.

Jae: Mummy who is he?

Before you can even speak Jungkook interjects.

Jungkook: I’m your Daddy

Jae: You are?

Jungkook: Yes I am and mummy’s been bad girl for not letting me see you

Jae: Mummy’s been bad

Dae was very pale, he quickly got up from his seat to run towards you as you pick him up and place him on your lap he wraps his small hands around you.

Jungkook, clearly wasn’t happy that he had to share you with two boys and the fact that Dae at four years old, according to him should have acquired some table manners.

Jungkook: Dae, your a big boy sit on your chair and eat like your brother

Y/N: Jungkook, stop it!

Jungkook: Don’t tell me what to do women, your the last person who should be ordering me about. Now Dae, I already told you once listen to daddy and sit on your chair and eat.

Dae begins to whimper and Jungkook snaps.

Jungkook: DAE!

Dae: YOUR NOT MY DADDY!

He begins to cry heavily on your shoulder as you pat his back whispering him to stop.

You get up with the plate and usher Jae to come with you to eat in the guest bedroom where they shall be sleeping.

“YOUR NOT MY DADDY”, ran round Jungkook’s head as his heart begins to break it’s not his sons fault that they don’t know him but yours and you shall truly be punished.

Time skip

With the boys asleep in the guest bedroom, you decide to go to the master bedroom to get your clothes and get ready for the night to sleep with the boys.

However, once you entered the room to collect you pyjamas you hear Jungkook walking into the room and locking the door.

Jungkook: This is all your fault you know. My boys would be calling me dad but they aren’t because of you.

He walks up to you with you dropping your clothes on to the floor.

Jungkook: BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU STUPID BITCH

You feel a harsh sting on your cheeck as you fall to the floor with a small cut from his ring leaking blood down on your face.

He takes off his belt, staring at you with cold eyes and you knew what was about to come.

He raises the belt up and begins to whip you savagely, non-stop as you scream for help he shouts verbal abuse at you.

Jungkook: SLUT, WHORE, FUCKING DUMB BIMBO BITCH HOW MANY MEN DID YOU SLEEP WITH? HUH?

This lasts for thirty minutes striaght as his arm gets tired he drops his belt to the floor and picks you up and throws you on to the bed.

He jumps on top of you, violently kissing and biting you making you let out soft moans. As he begins to tear of your clothes.

You feel his clothed boner near your wet pussy. You were so embarrassed with being turned on.

Jungkook: You feel that babe, that’s what you did to me and tonight. Tonight, shall be a long long night of pleasure. Who knows maybe this will be the day we have baby number three?

#BTS #btsjungkook #btsyandere #btsimagine #btsreaction #btsoneshot #btsyanderejungkook #yandere #yanderebts #btsjungkookyandere

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kimjoongs-main · 6 years ago

Text

first love! au - jaemin

↳ based off of this idea i had

↳ type: bullet scenario

↳ warning(s): n/a

↳ a/n: the amount of hw i could’ve finished instead of making this :’)

okay let’S GO

we all know how passionate is jaemin when it comes to volunteering and giving back to the community

so imagine him volunteering weekly at a daycare center near his neighborhood

he absolutely loves and adores all the children he meets and acts like a big brother figure to them

his reason for helping out in the daycare in the first place is that when he was younger, his mom would put him in a daycare and bc she had to work, and he remembers the older boys and girls who volunteered there when he was just a kid

he remembers how nice they were and the way they treated him, especially the boy who would always secretely give him a piece of candy every time he came in, and he remembers the sweet girl who would always boop his nose and ruffle his hair

jaemin wanted to reciprocate their love and affection to the kids at the daycare so that’s why when he first heard from renjun that they needed more people, jaemin jumped on that train so quick

now he’s been helping out at the daycare (w jeno, renjun, and hyuck as well) for about a year and a half

the kids absolutely admire him and would always cheer whenever they see jaemin walk in

the people who work at the daycare were very impressed at jaemin’s ability to memorize every single child’s face and name and even remember little things about them

and when a new child joins, jaemin easily makes them feel welcome by hovering around them and asking them to join in on games

he��ll tie back a little girl’s hair or give her a cute braid and he’ll give a little boy a piggyback ride around the center just to hear him laugh

also you better believe jaemin’s fiercely protective of these kids,,,like fiercely protective

one time a little girl named minji tripped and scraped her knee, she only let out one small cry and jaemin was already sprinting across the room, reaching little minji and scooping her up in his arms, gently tucking her head into his neck and quietly shushing her

he then proceeded to clean the scrape so it doesn’t get infected, all while carrying minji in his arms, and then after he read her a story to help her fall asleep soundly in his hold

renjun took a pic of this moment and jaemin loved it so much he made it his wallpaper

since jaemin’s super super good w the kids, the people at the daycare put him in charge of helping out the new volunteers and showing them how to do things

and that’s where you come in !! you’ve been desperately trying to find a place that takes volunteers bc you may or may not have made a stupid decision that almost got you suspended if it wasn’t for your parents pleading to the school to ease up the punishment

now instead of suspension, the school’s making you complete at least 200 hours of community service as a chance to “whip you into shape”

ofc you didn’t want to but it was better than getting suspended, so you reluctantly accepted the deal and now here you were, standing inside a daycare in front of a boy w peach pink hair and a smile too bright for your liking

“hi! you must be the new volunteer, my name’s jaemin and i’m in charge of helping you. nice to meet you!” he holds out his hand and you have to physically restrain yourself from flinching

you see, you weren’t the social type, the complete opposite actually, so you could already tell that this guy was someone you weren’t going to be all buddy buddy with

but you needed the hours so you just sucked it up and managed to send him your best smile and shook his hand

“nice to meet you too...i’m y/n” you replied quietly

right behind jaemin were three other boys who looked about the same age as him; one was currently painting a picture w a 4 year old girl, another was sitting on the floor w a group of kids and reading them a story, and the last one was running around the room chasing a little boy

jaemin looked over his shoulder to see what you were looking at and laughed “oh i should probably introduce you to everyone else. the one painting is renjun, the one on the floor is jeno, and the loud one is donghyuck”

you blinked at him as he gestured for you to follow him inside, which you did, but immediately regretted it when five children ran up to you and peered up at you curiously

they kept talking over each other, possibly trying to ask you a bunch of questions, and you felt overwhelmed

sensing your obvious discomfort, jaemin quickly moved over to stand next to you and clapped his hands, catching their attention

“okay kids that’s enough, y/n’s our newest helper so make be nice and welcoming okay? go on and play w the others, i’ll be right back”

and to your suprise, the kids responded back w a loud “yes nana” and left

jaemin looked at you sheepishly “sorry about that, they get really excited when a new person comes by since it’s usually us four that come in”

“it’s only the four of you volunteering here? i would’ve thought there’d be more”

jaemin sent you a sad smile as he showed you to the back room where he gestured for you to sit on the leather chair as he sat across from you

“i thought the same too, but whenever new people come they tend to leave pretty quickly after” “why?”

he sent you another sad smile “they find it difficult to take care of the kids. my friends and i are the ones who’ve volunteered the longest, so the center’s pretty grateful for us”

your heart aches slightly at the revelation and you peer out the door to look at the children, heart aching even more as you see them running around and laughing

“so, what brings you here?” jaemin asked, and you winced at the question, causing him to raise his eyebrows

“i..um...i made a really stupid decision..and my school’s making me do community service to make up for it.”

jaemin let out a soft oh and you mentally slap yourself; great, this guy probably thinks i’m a terrible person who’s only here bc i’m forced to, which technically isn’t a lie but—

“do you like kids, y/n?” jaemin’s next question interrupted your train of thought and you blink before it fully registered in your brain

“oh uh..yeah i do actually. i just..i’m not...very social..so i don’t know how to act around them yet.”

jaemin nodded his head at your answer, a serious look on his face, before he broke out into a soft smile and walked over to you, placing his hand gently on your shoulder

“well that’s good enough for me! listen, i know you probably think that i think you’re a bad person bc of the reason you’re here, but trust me when i say stuff like that doesn’t matter to me. just the fact that you came here instead of somewhere else says a lot. i’ll be here to help you out if you need it, so don’t worry y/n. i’ll make sure you not only complete your required hours, but that you also have fun doing it.”

jaemin grinned once more before he turned around and walked out “i’m gonna grab your uniform really quick, so stay put!”

you just sat there staring at the door in shock at what you just heard...it was the first time someone’s been that nice and nonjudgmental towards you

you glanced down at the comm. service log sheet in your hands and sighed “maybe....this won’t be so bad”

for the next few weeks, you and jaemin are practically glued to each other as he helps you get into the swing of things

as expected, you fumble a couple of times, but jaemin is always there to help you back up and even offers some advice so you don’t make the same mistake

since you two spend a lot of time together, it was inevitable that you two would grow close pretty quickly, and not just jaemin, but renjun, jeno, and donghyuck too

you sometimes found yourself being invited to hang out w them outside of the daycare and it’s so..refreshing to be around them

as the weeks pass, you also slowly become fond of the kids and vice versa; you’re especially fond of a little boy named juhyun who loves to hold your hand every chance he gets

and as jaemin watches you play w the kids, he can’t help but smile at how much more comfortable you’ve become, not just w him, his friends, or the kids, but w yourself too; he can tell you’re rlly enjoying your time here

and as you two spend more time together, and learn more things about each other, you two can’t deny the feelings brewing in the depths of your heart

jaemin’s kind, and self-less personality is what drew you to him and your willingness to learn and awkward, yet endearing nature is what drew jaemin to you

he was never rlly quite sure what his feelings for you were, until he witnessed something about you he’s never seen before

there was a new volunteer at the daycare and as usual jaemin was in charge of showing him around; you were playing w juhyun when jaemin left for a bit to grab the new guy’s uniform

at first everything was normal, but then you heard little areum start crying and your head whipped up so fast; areum was sitting next to a pile of toppled blocks and the new guy was standing next to her, glaring

“quit your crying, your block tower was in my way” his sharp tone caused areum to cry even louder

appalled, you stood up and made your way over to areum, carefully picking her up in your arms and tried to calm her down; you sent a glare to the new guy “what was that for? she’s just a little girl, you don’t have to be so rude”

the guy rolled his eyes “she’s annoying that’s what”

“if she’s so annoying then why don’t you leave? it’s obvious you don’t get along w kids so why are you even here?”

the guy stepped closer to you “you can’t tell me what to do”

“but i can” you breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of jaemin’s voice, and the guy whipped around

jaemin was standing there w a bright grin on his face, but the way he was clenching the uniform in his hands told you that he wasn’t actually happy

“here at the daycare, we put the well-being of the children as our first priority and ensure that they are safe and happy. however, since you’ve shown behavior that goes against that policy, i’m afraid i’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

the guy scoffed, but left w/o a word, knowing that this was a fight he couldn’t win

when jaemin came back, he saw you kneeling in front of areum, gently cradling her face and wiping away her tears, and he felt his heart clench tightly at the sight

the worry on your face and the way you held areum as if she were a fragile piece of glass solidified his feelings for you

however, he was still unsure of how to express those feelings to you

and unbeknownst to him, you felt the same exact way :’)

a few more months pass and one day jaemin decided to walk you home from the daycare

on your way there, he asks you the comm. service hours thing is going and you falter a bit, biting your bottom lip shyly

jaemin, as perceptive as ever, quickly notices and asks if you’re okay

you stop walking and sigh, looking up and locking eyes w him; your heart skips a beat when you take in his iridescent eyes, twinkling as they reflect the light of the moon, you could get lost in them forever

“jaemin, there’s something i need to tell you...” you pause and he nods, urging you to continue “my community service hours...i completed all 200 hours a few weeks ago”

his eyes widen in surprise “seriously?! wait, if that’s the case then you don’t have to volunteer at the daycare anymore right?” you nod your head slowly “......then, why?”

you take a deep breath as you force yourself to step closer to him; jaemin gulps when you do so, but doesn’t make any move to stop you

“well it’s simple, i’ve fallen in love” jaemin felt his heart stop and his breath caught in his throat

“i’ve fallen in love w the kids, they’re my absolute world now and i would do anything for them. i’ve fallen in love w the daycare, it’s my safe haven. i’ve fallen in love with little juhyun who keeps falling asleep on me. but most importantly...” you step closer “...i’ve fallen in love with you, na jaemin”

jaemin’s chest fills with so much happiness and adoration for you as your words register through his brain. his beautiful bright smile appeared on his face, and you can’t help but smile back

and that’s all it takes for jaemin to close the tiny gap btwn the two of you; he brings his hands up and gently cups your cheeks as his lips land softly on top of yours

the kiss is sweet and so jaemin-like that you feel your stomach doing all kinds of flips and tricks; you reach out and grab onto his jacket, tugging him closer to you as the kiss deepens

you two break apart when the need for air becomes apparent, but jaemin leans forward and rests his forehead against yours

“that’s funny, bc i’ve fallen in love with all of those things too” you start blushing “except for juhyun tho, that little guy needs to back off”

you giggle at the playful glare on his face and jaemin’s expression softens at the sound; he plants another kiss on your lips and...let’s just say your parents weren’t too happy when you came back home after the sun went down :’)

the next day, you and jaemin walked in the daycare hand-in-hand, receiving knowing looks from renjun and jeno, and a loud whoop from hyuck

and when the kids saw you and jaemin sneak in a quick kiss, chaos ensued

“jaemin and y/n sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!” “jaemin just kissed y/n!!” “eww they’re kissing”

you just laugh and scold the kids for their teasing, and jaemin kisses you again for fun

#nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #jaemin scenarios #nct au #nct dream au #jaemin au

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unproduciblesmackdown · 6 years ago

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so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts.

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

#long post //////#the entire first quarter (at least lol) of my life being Devastated By Abuse means i get to complain about it whenever i feel like it

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