#did i spend half an hour crying yesterday after the end of part 2? i dont wanna talk about it

[lionbearfox]

just read all of csm in one day and im not ready to start unpacking that emotionally so here is a meme

[spooderboyandtincan]

You're Gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

Chapter 2

There’s a spider on the ceiling.

Peter can barely make out its eight gangly legs through a blur of tears. He feels some sort of bond with it- not only because of the DNA they share- but because they’re both alone. Then again, the spider has probably spent its entire life in this room, and Peter’s only been here- on a whole different continent- for a good couple of hours.

Maybe it’s just the jet lag. According to literally anyone who’s known him at all- he gets adorably grumpy when he hasn’t gotten his beauty sleep (Tony’s words, not his.)

Who does he think he’s kidding? He’s homesick, he’s alone, and he really, really misses Tony. Misses him as in the his heart is literally being torn apart sort of missing. He wishes he’d considered how his severe separation anxiety might play a part in this when he’d still had a choice.

Peter chokes on a whine- the one that forces its way out of his throat until he’s full on sobbing and gasping for breath.

He scrambles for his phone on the nightstand. He needs Tony, he needs him, like a fish needs water. He fumbles with the lock screen and desperately taps on Tony’s icon (a picture of Tony holding a proudly displaying a mug that reads “Number 1 Iron Dad.”) It rings once, twice-

“Pete? How’s it going, kiddie?” Tony’s voice, so gentle, so full of love and concern- he already knows something’s wrong, of course, because his Dad Senses are off the charts- makes the tear in his heart rip open.

“Tony,” he sobs. “Tony. I don’t- I can’t, I can’t do this. I wanna go home, Tony.”

“Whoa, hey, it’s okay Petey, breathe for me okay?” He can hear, just barely over his sobs, that Tony is pacing, can hear that his breathing is just a bit too fast, and Peter feels awful for freaking him out, but just can’t stop crying.

“‘M so sorry,” he wails, “‘M so sorry. I-I wanna go home, I want you Tony.” He grasps his pillow tightly and buries his face in it, trying to stifle his sobs, pretending that Tony is there, wrapping his arms around him, kissing his hair, rocking them back and forth.

“I know, baby, I know,” Tony croons, “Everything’s gonna be okay, we’re okay. Right now I just need you to take a deep breath, buddy- in, two-three, out, two-three, okay?” Tony demonstrates for him, taking exaggerated inhales and exhales, which are probably benefiting him as much as they are Peter. “You’ve got this, Pete, I know you do.”

“I miss you, Tony,” Peter whispers after a few seconds of shaky breathing. “I wanna go home.” He feels so immature, begging Tony to fly across the Atlantic in the dead of night just because he’s a little homesick.

Tony, however, seems to consider his request very seriously. “Do you want me to fly out? I could be there in a few hours.”

Peter almost laughs, imagining Tony arriving to the hotel at daybreak, dressed only in sweatpants and a stained AC/DC t-shirt. It’s actually not a bad idea- Tony could act as a chaperone, they could explore the city together, make another precious memory.

“Yeah, um, that-that would be great, Tony,” he sniffs, wiping the wetness of his cheeks. “A-are you sure? I don’t wanna, like, make you, there’s probably Iron, um, Iron Man things, I don’t-”

“Pete, listen to me,” Tony interrupts, voice again so impossibly gentle. “Nothing- nothing- is more important to me than you, understand? I’m here for you. Always”

Peter smiles wetly, relaxing back into the covers, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I know. Tony?”

“Yeah, bud?

“Can-can you, um, talk? Please?”

“‘Course I can, Pete. What about?” Tony says fondly. The idea that his voice can bring such comfort to this sweet kid makes him feel all… schmoopy.

“Anything. I just… wanna hear your voice, s’all.” He tugs the covers up and curls into a ball, resting the phone on the pillow next to his ear.

“I’ve got you, bud,” Tony says. I miss you too. “Oh, you’ve gotta know what DUM-E did today….”

Peter feels himself relaxing as Tony talks about his day. It’s not just the words that soothe him, but the familiar sound of his warm voice that’s full of such love and affection. His thoughts begin to wander as he drifts into a barely conscious haze, but the voice remains steady and present in his mind.

Tony is quick to notice that Peter is on the precipice of slumber and wakefulness, and is just as quick to provide the last bit of reassurance Peter needs to fall asleep. “Sweet dreams, buddy. I love you,” he murmurs.

Just before Peter slips away, he finds himself slurring, “Love you too.”

Tony stays on the call for a solid ten minutes after Peter conks out, listening to the steady whoosh of his breathing against the speaker. Before he finally makes himself hang up, he whispers a quiet, “‘Night, Petey. I’ll be there before you know it.” Tony leaves for the airport at daybreak, not able to spend another second in that horribly empty penthouse. The absence of Peter’s presence is tremendously obvious, and Tony finds himself desperately trying not to imagine the unimaginable.

~~~~~

With a pilot on-call 24-7, and without the hassles of a public airport, he’ll be back with Peter around early afternoon.

Thank god.

He steps out of the Cadillac, barely noticing the blistering wind and the tiny snowflakes biting at his cheeks in his haste to board the plane. He greets the pilot- Allison, he thinks- with a nod, but she gestures to stop when he moves towards the stairs.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark!” she says over the howling wind. “We just can’t fly in this weather!”

To hell with that, Tony thinks. “When’s it letting up?”

“I’m terribly sorry, Mr. Stark,” Allison says apologetically. “Not for a few days at least.”

Tony activates the suit with a simple tap of his watch, the nanobots rushing over him within seconds. Allison gasps and jumps back, gaping as he rockets into the air.

He’s been flying for a good 50 seconds before a neon red warning lights up the HUD.

“Boss,” F.R.I.D.A.Y says, tone filled with caution. “The wind is blowing at a speed of 78 mph. I must advise that you return to the ground immediately, or you run the risk of losing control of the suit.”

Tony curses loudly. Just his luck, really. “How high is the risk?”

“89%, boss.”

“So, not all that bad,” he chuckles.

Then, F.R.I.D.A.Y reminds him how devastated Peter would be if anything happened to him.

Tony returns to his car on foot and pulls out his phone to call Peter.

~~~~~

Peter basks in the sunlight outside of a bustling café, sipping from a cup of hot chocolate. He’s ordered a chocolate croissant, and added the tasteless protein powder Tony and Bruce had synthesized to keep up with his spidey metabolism to his mug. Despite the jet lag, he’s eager to explore the city and it’s merits, his enthusiasm only growing knowing that Tony will be here within a few hours.

Feeling pleasantly full, Peter leans back in his chair- it’s an armchair, on a stool, and it’s driving him nuts, he loves it- and beams at Ned, who lounges next to him in an identical chair. “Dude,” he says.

“Dude,” Ned agrees.

Peter is grinning, Ned is grinning, the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, life is sweet-

Peter’s phone rings.

His first thought is that Tony’s plane has crashed.

His second is one of relief when he realizes it’s Tony who’s calling him.

His third is that his plane has crashed, and Tony’s calling him, mortally wounded, to say goodbye.

Ned stares at him, taking in the panicked look on his face, and mouths You good? Peter shakes his head and scrabbles for his phone.

“Pete?” Tony says as soon as he’s answered. He sounds fine, at least. “Hiya.”

“Are you okay?” Peter asks first, because he knows that even if Tony sounds like he’s fine, that doesn’t mean he is.

“Yeah. Yeah, Petey, I’m just fine, I promise,” Tony assures him. Peter relaxes in his chair, flashing Ned a quick thumbs up, because knows Tony would never lie to him, especially not if he was hurt. “How’re you doin’?”

Peter’s face lights up. “Oh, great! There are like, dogs everywhere here, even in the restaurants, and I saw this German Shepherd eating like- dog ice cream or something? And I got this super good chocolate croissant where we’re having breakfast. Y’know, I really thought the jet lag would be super bad but I’m not like, tired at all yet!”

“Aw, buddy, that’s great, I’m glad you’re havin’ a good time,” Tony says, voice dripping with fondness. “You’re drinking enough water, staying hydrated and all that, right?”

“Yup! Are you?”

Tony scoffs. “‘Course I am. Hafta set a good example n’ shi- stuff.” Peter snorts. He knows Tony does his best not to curse around his- and he quotes- “young, unsullied ears" but he ends up failing quite a lot.

“Which reminds me bud, how’s Ted?” Peter’s best friend’s health has pretty much no correlation with cursing, which makes the teen think that Tony has a specific reason for asking about him. He decides not to bring it up though.

“It’s Ned,” he sighs in mock frustration. And he’s good, he’s right next to me! I guess I didn’t tell you yesterday, but the hotel guy put us into two different rooms ‘cause they had extra or something and we didn’t realize ‘til we got to our rooms.” He sighs again then, for real, his good mood evaporating.

Tony’s Dad Senses pick up on it instantaneously. “Not ideal, huh?” he says gently, which earns him a small laugh from the kid. “D’you want me to talk to them?”

Peter nods sheepishly, then realizes Tony can’t see him. “Yeah. Thank you,” he says in a small voice, embarrassed that the genius is going to all this trouble just because he’s a little lonely. “Are you gonna be here soon?” he asks then, because he misses Tony, misses him just like he knows Tony is missing him.

Tony clears his throat. When he speaks, the guilt in his voice could rip him in half. “About that, buddy, well- Jesus, Pete, I’m so sorry. The, uh, the wind is too dangerous for me to fly over, and it’s not letting up ‘til around Monday. I’m so sorry, kiddo.”

Peter’s heart sinks. “Oh,” he says numbly.

He hears Tony lurch up. “Hey, Petey- shit, I’m so sorry, buddy. I- you know what, fuck it, I’ll fly over anyway, I-”

“No! No, I’m okay, I’m fine!” Peter says, wincing silently at the forced cheeriness in his voice, and knowing that Tony has seen right through.

“Hey, hey, buddy, it’s okay, I’ll be perfectly safe-”

“You can’t,” Peter pleads, desperate to keep Tony safe. “Please, Tony, you can’t, you’ll crash, or-”

“Whoa, Petey, deep breaths,” Tony interrupts, voice gentle. “I’m right here, I’m fine, you hear me?” He waits for Peter’s breathing to resume a steady rate, then says, “Bub, I won’t fly over if it’s not safe, I promise.”

Peter sighs. He’s relieved beyond belief that Tony is keeping both feet on the ground where he’ll be safe- he better be- but he misses the billionaire more than ever.

“And hey, who knows, maybe the wind’ll let up in a few hours!” Tony chuckles. Sobering a little, he says, “If the weather is on schedule, I’ll be there on Monday, 6 am, sharp.”

Peter prays he will. “I miss you, Tony,” he mumbles- he feels childish, knowing that he’s just begged the man to stay in New York, and now is just making him more miserable knowing that he’s miserable.

“I miss you too, Petey,” the genius murmurs back, voice filled with sorrow.

“Peter!” The phone nearly flies out of Peter’s hand as Mr. Harrington taps on his shoulder. He gasps a little, and though his teacher doesn’t seem to notice, Tony sure does, his gentle voice turning harsh with barley contained panic. “Who was that, Pete? Are you okay?”

“Um-” he tries.

“Come on, now! The bus is almost here, I can see it around the corner!” Mr. Harrington says loudly, and abruptly struts off, frantically waving down the bus that is already stopping.

“Peter!” Tony exclaims.

“I’m fine, I’m fine, it was just Mr. Harrington,” he rushes to reassure him. Tony breathes out a heavy sigh of relief. “Uh, the bus is here, I- I have to go.” He hurries to catch up with his best friend.

“I love you,” Tony says. “I love you so much, Pete, stay out of trouble, be safe.”

He doesn’t want to say goodbye. Neither of them do.

“I love you, Tony,” says Peter. “I’ll be safe, don’t worry about me!”

And with that, the call ends.

[heliads]

Curiosities

You feel that life can be divided up into a select set of curiosities- rules by which you live and breathe, that explain away everything in your life as a mutant. You’re doing fine until a certain boy named Peter Maximoff throws everything into disarray.

masterlist

If you try hard enough, everything that happens to you can be sorted out into a list of curiosities. You’re not sure how long you’d been thinking about it this way, but it made enough sense if you really thought about it. Your life was different, ever-changing, and if you kept it locked away within the list of curiosities, you could get a handle on it long enough to peek through the chest of memories that would otherwise fly open and swallow you whole.

Curiosity #1: You were a mutant.

This in itself was relatively easy to explain. When you were about ten, maybe twelve, you started to show the first signs of your power. A faint stirring in the shade in the corner of the room, the fact that you were never afraid of the dark. You waved to your shadow with your left hand, it responded by moving the ankle on its right. By the time you were about fourteen, your powers had fully come into being: you were able to control the shadows. You could bring them into existence, spooling black fog around your fingers and forcing it to your will. 

Curiosity #2: Even among mutants, you were an outcast.

You had come to Professor Xavier’s school when the building itself was fairly uninhabited. Xavier understood you; but then again, he was able to look past the dark furrow of your brow and into the sunny spaces of your head; he could tell that you didn’t wish to hurt anybody. None of the other students shared that same gift, except perhaps Jean, but she didn’t particularly wish to go probing into your skull.

When the school was still new and lacking in students, you were able to grow and flourish as a mutant. The Professor taught you how to use your powers himself, and you had full reign over the grounds. Then, more students started to appear, and they took up more and more of Xavier’s time. Before long, he barely saw you at all.

The other students didn’t know what to make of you. They could understand mutants with cool, interesting powers, like Storm with her weather manipulation or Mystique with her ability to change forms. Furry, blue teachers were acceptable; you were not. They were afraid of how you could control the shadows, how you seemed part darkness yourself. They drew away from you, huddling in the hallways and not making eye contact when you walked by. Slowly, a hated nickname surfaced: Suffocator. They were terrified that you would reach out a hand, call the darkness to you, make it cover their mouth and nose and choke out all air from their desperate lungs. You hated it, but it didn’t matter. Suffocator you were, and suffocator you would always be.

One night, a few of the mutants your age were bored and wanted to throw a party. Someone, maybe Jubilee, had heard of this thing called a masquerade party on one of her trips to the mall or somewhere outside of the school. She was desperate to try it out, and so Xavier’s School had posters everywhere across campus advertising the party.

When you first heard of it, you weren’t planning on going. Nobody wanted you there, not the girl who lurked in the shadows and didn’t speak to anyone. Then you realized that everyone would be wearing a mask and intentionally disguising their identity- nobody would know who you were. It almost seemed too good to be true.

A few days later, the day of the masquerade party arrived. You had donned a sapphire blue mask, one that shimmered like the lake just outside the school when the sun crossed its waves. The glittering, twinkling sea would hide your face from those who would otherwise distrust you. You had glanced at yourself in the mirror before you went; you did not look like yourself. You smiled in satisfaction, and headed out.

The party was being held in one of the empty halls of the school, and you blended in seamlessly with the other mutants. You talked and laughed with them, and they had no idea that they were speaking with the girl they’d avoided just a few hours earlier. You found yourself smiling and having more fun than you’d had in months.

Then, you became aware of one student heading towards you. Tall, overbearing Natalie: she had always hated you for some unknown reason. She glanced once at the group of friends you were speaking with, then folded her arms across her chest. “Do you know who you’re talking to?” She said, and the group looked from her to you and shook their heads. Natalie donned a gleeful smirk. “That’s Y/N. I’m not sure you really want to be spending that much time with her.”

The group of mutants cast you fearful looks once they realize it’s you, and start to walk away. Natalie is the only one who remains, and she crosses the final few feet to stand in front of you. Her voice comes in a loud hiss that seems to echo around the room. “Suffocator.”

A blur of silver flashes around you, and then a boy suddenly appears in front of you. “Those are strong words for someone who can’t even figure out empathy. I mean, come on- yesterday someone was crying in front of you and it took you half an hour to figure out they were sad.” Natalie draws back, angry. “Rude, Maximoff! Hasn’t Xavier told you not to make fun of people’s powers? Empathy is hard.” The silver-haired boy laughs. “Not making fun of people’s powers? I think you’re the one who needs to work on that, not me.”

Natalie rolls her eyes, trying to hide her annoyance at the fact that she’s losing this argument. “Whatever. I’m bored of this already.” She stomps away to hang out with her other friends, leaving you to stare at the boy who’d suddenly come to your defense. Of all the mutants, why would it be Peter?

Curiosity #3: Peter Maximoff.

Nobody at Xavier’s school trusted you. Nobody, it seemed, except for Peter. Ever since that day, he’d been relentless in his task to befriend you. You’re not sure why- everyone else had given up on you long ago. It’s not like you didn’t want friends, or that you were that strange a person. You were like everyone else: happy, laughing, friendly. It’s just the threat of your powers, so strange and unnatural, that forced everyone else away.

But not him. No, Peter refused to let your powers daunt him in the slightest. He’d be there after class, walking nonchalantly beside you. It didn’t seem like a friendship borne of pity- no, he teased you and made the same jokes as he would with everyone else. He even called you Suffocator once, that dreaded nickname, although it didn’t have that same barb as it did before. Maybe that’s because the other students used it as a knife to stab at you before running away. Instead, Peter tossed it like a paper plane, letting it float through the air as the two of you laughed from a joke. He didn’t want anything more than friendship, and so the two of you hung out after class, fighting mock battles with your powers and enjoying the time to be two simple teenagers in the otherwise strange world of mutants.

Curiosity #4: The quiet.

You’re not sure when you notice the silence at first. It’s just another day, ordinary in its dullness. You’re in the back of the grounds, away from the large groups of people in an attempt to study for a test you have later. You look up, once, fishing for a sticky note to mark the end of the chapter, but your eyes stay searching even after your hands close around the pad of paper.

You can’t hear anything. Well, that’s not entirely true. The birds still chirp, although with odd hesitation, as if afraid to sing too loudly. The wind still rustles the trees, but slowly, as if trying not to be noticed. The everlasting din of the students, though, that is gone. You push your books into your bag, standing up quietly. Even the zip of your backpack seems to echo in the silence.

This is strange. What happened to make the air so tense, the students shut their mouths for once to stand together in quiet? You sling your backpack over your shoulder, heading quickly to the front of the school to see what the fuss (or lack of, rather) is about.

There’s nothing at the front of the school, either. In fact, there aren’t that many people there. The only mutants out are Jean, Peter, Storm, Scott, and Nightcrawler. You watch as Jean presses her fingers to her temples, sending out a message that you only now pick up in your head. Go inside now. Don’t look out. Get the Professor. It echoes on a loop inside your brain, appearing only now that you’re close enough to the sender.

You glance around you, searching for some trouble that would cause Jean to send out such a message. Then, you see it- three large armored trucks headed your way, military logos emblazoned on the sides. This sort of thing happens every few years or so- some military higher-up decides that the mutants are too dangerous to be kept alive, and they attempt to round up everyone at the school. Xavier is usually there to put a stop to it, but today he’s out in some big city doing official business, so he’s not here to protect you. In fact, the only ones here to protect you are yourselves.

You watch as the trucks roll closer. Once they reach the gate, they stop, and soldiers start to stream out of it. Storm shouts over to Jean. “Are we doing anything about this?” Jean nods, her hair flicking out behind her like tongues of flame. “We’re stopping them. They want a fight, I can hear it. That’s just what they’ll get.” She says, and the mutants around her prepare themselves for a battle.

Curiosity #5: You stay to fight.

Why are you still here? Jean told everyone who wasn’t one of Xavier’s hand picked team to go inside, and yet you’re still cracking your knuckles out in front of the school just like everyone else. Maybe it’s because you want a taste for just how much damage your powers can deal out, or maybe it’s because you finally have a chance to prove yourself to be a hero, to fight like the others and make a name for yourself as someone who’s in it to protect the other students, even if they wouldn’t protect her. Regardless of the reason, the outcome stays the same. You’re here to fight.

When the men start running forward, you realize with sickening dread that they’ve brought guns, and dangerous ones at that. You’re not sure why they thought they’d need military grade rifles at a school, but they’re out and loaded nonetheless. They raise them towards you, launching a volley of bullets, but you throw up your arms and a wall of shadow appears in between the mutants and the guns, blocking the bullets and forcing them to the ground.

Jean turns to you, amazed. “Actually, I think it would be better if you stayed with us.” You grin slightly at that, turning your attention back to the soldiers. You and the other mutants fight in unison, powers working together as fluidly as a well oiled machine. You seem to compliment them, understanding their hurried motions as if you’d been working with them your entire life. 

Before you know it, the soldiers are hurrying back to the armored trucks, gesturing frantically at the drivers to get them out of here before they are killed by a bunch of kids with magic powers. The mutants look happily amongst yourselves, proud that you’d managed to defend the school against the soldiers. Together, you’d protected everyone here.

The night is starting to grow late, and everyone is out on the grounds in celebration. It’s not everyday that a bunch of teenagers fight back against the military and win, you know. You idle near a group of mutants, red plastic cup in hand just like them. Something feels odd, and it takes you a moment to notice what it is. Nobody’s scared of you. There aren’t any students huddled together, looking at you through nervous eyes that flick away when you catch sight of them. No pointed fingers, no hushed whispers. Maybe you’ve finally been accepted as one of them.

Jean approaches from across the field, stopping at a group of mutants only a few feet away from you. She leans towards Storm, tapping her on the shoulder. “Scott, Peter, Kurt, and I are hanging out in another corner of the woods. You know, victory party and all that? Come with us.” Her voice is a low whisper, but you can’t help smiling at it. You wait for her to nod at you, to ask you the same question, but strangely enough, she just slings an arm around Storm’s shoulder and the two of them walk away into the woods, leaving you behind.

She saw you. You know she saw you- her eyes glanced over you before they left. Her eyes weren’t glinting with hatred, some ill-concealed malice or anything. This wasn’t a plot to intentionally leave you out, she just didn’t see you as someone to invite, even though you’d been a key part of that victory group she seems so keen to celebrate. The realization hits you like a ton of bricks- no matter how hard you try, how many times you fight to protect them, they will never see you as a friend. All because they don’t understand your powers.

Dazedly, you leave the grounds where the rest of the mutants are celebrating. You find some quiet corner of the woods, a place that’s tucked away where nobody will notice you. The ‘victory party’ is on the opposite side of the grounds, so you know that you don’t have to fear anyone accidentally stumbling across you.

You slide to the ground, leaning back against the sturdy trunk of one of the many trees that stand tall and proud around the school’s forest. You cover your face in your hands, feeling all of your emotions finally catch up with you. You wish you could prove yourself in some way, that your powers may physically be dark but that you weren’t a monster, but it doesn’t matter how hard you try. You’ll never be anything more than a villain to them.

Silent tears course down your cheeks. You don’t think you’ve ever felt more alone than this night, even when things seemed impossible. No matter how bad things were before, this night manages to take the cake. There’s a cracking sound behind you, and you wipe your tears away hurriedly as you realize someone’s walking up to you.

“What are you doing all alone? Don’t you know we’re celebrating?” It’s Peter. Of course it is. You turn to face him, hoping the darkness will obscure the puffiness in your eyes. “Guess I was just tired.” You plaster on a smile, praying that he’ll get bored and go rejoin the others, but no such luck. He plops down in the grass next to you, arms stretched back behind him.

“Why aren’t you with Jean and the rest?” He says, and you frown at him. “What do you mean?” You ask. Peter furrows his brow. “You know, the victory party. You were there when the soldiers attacked, and you saved our skins like a dozen times over. Why aren’t you with them?” You look at him, willing him to be observant for just this once. “I just didn’t feel like going.” Peter rolls his eyes. “Oh, come on. Stop being your dramatic little self and just come on. The rest will be happy to see you.” 

He extends an arm as if to drag you there himself. You sigh frustratedly. “Fine, Peter. I’m not being dramatic. I know there’s a party, and I also know that they very much do not want me there. I was there when Jean asked Storm to hang out with Scott, Kurt, and the rest. She knew I was there, she saw me, and she didn’t ask the same of me.” Your voice breaks off. “It’s pretty obvious that no one here wants me to be there. Hell, no one here wants me to be at this school at all, and the only one who can’t see that is you.”

Peter’s silent for a second, and you curse inwardly. Now you’ve gone and made Peter, the one person who’s been here for you, feel bad about himself. You wouldn’t be surprised if he just gets up and leaves now. But he doesn’t. In fact, a smile flashes across his face. “That’s because they’re idiots.” You look at him, confused. “What?” He laughs. “They’re idiots, and you’re an idiot for listening to them.” 

He gestures absentmindedly at you. “Y/N, you’ve got one of the coolest powers I’ve ever seen, and for what, so you can be sad about it? Are you really telling me you’d rather be an empath than control the shadows? That’s like, the neatest thing ever.” His words, spoken with such conviction, bring a laugh to your face as well. Peter’s eyes light up when he sees it. “See, there you go. Come on, let’s have some fun. We don’t need them if they’re being weird.”

Your laugh dies off quietly as you look back at him. “Why are you doing this? Why are you taking the time to make me feel better? You make fun of your own friends and rob convenience stores when you’re bored. Since when has Quicksilver gone this far out of his way to make somebody laugh?” Peter smiles at you, then leans forward. His lips are on yours, suddenly, his hand gently cupped against your cheek. Just as you’ve realized what’s happening, he’s back in his spot a few feet away again. He smirks at you. “That’s why.”

You laugh in spite of yourself. “That’s why. Well, I guess that’s an acceptable reason.” Peter smiles. “Only acceptable? That’s not the best thing I’ve heard, but I suppose it’ll be okay for now.” He stands up, offering a hand to you. You take it. “So, are you coming with me or not? I intend to cause all sorts of chaos.” You look over at him, laughter dancing in your eyes. “Of course I am.”

Curiosity #6: Peter Maximoff loves you. And you love him.

peter maximoff tag list @amourtentiaa​

[manonblaqkbeak]

A New Journey Part 2

I swear I have a life and that I don’t spend all my time writting Rowaelin fanfic lol.

In this fic, Aelin gives birth (which I hope my depiction is decent, as I’ve never given birth and don’t know much about the actual event).

It’s also just more fluff, since that’s all I can think of to write when it comes to these two lol

2641 words

Aelin had been staring at the canopy above her bed for over three hours, unable to go back to sleep. Her daughter couldn't seem to get comfortable, kicking Aelin awake by moving what felt like every five minutes.

Aelin usually loved it when she could feel her and Rowan's child moving within her, but she had a wicked headache the night before that was still lingering behind her eyes.

Rowan, however, was sleeping peacefully, his snoring muffled by his pillow. It was irrational, she knew, but it annoyed her that he was sleeping just fine. And with that annoyance, she moved onto her side (not as fast as she'd like), and poked him right in between his tattoo.

He was awake instantly, his head snapping to the side and assessed her with sleepy dark green eyes.

“Are you okay?” he asked, voice scratchy. “Is the baby okay?”

“She's fine,” Aelin answered, “I'm not, however.”

Her mate gave her a sleepy half-smile. “Did she keep you up again?”

Aelin huffed. “Yes.”

Rowan shuffled over, gently kissing her cheek. “I think she just likes reminding you that she's there.”

Aelin huffed again, this time blowing Rowan's hair out of his eyes. “I've been pregnant for ten months, and she's a week late, I'm aware she's there.”

Rowan kissed her cheek again and lowered himself to plant a kiss on her gigantic belly, whispering a good morning to their daughter (not that they actually knew yet whether she was a girl, but Rowan was adamant in his assessment all those months ago, so Aelin grew used to referring to their child as a girl).

“How about I make you some tea?” Rowan asked.

“How about you convince our baby to come into this world?”

Rowan chuckled. “I have a feeling she's going to be as stubborn as you, so I doubt that'll work.”

“I'm not stubborn,” Aelin said, stubbornly. “But I would like some tea, ginger if there's any left.”

Kissing her belly once more, Rowan left the bed, going over to where the kettle rested atop the fire mantle, wherein the water stayed hot all night due to Aelin's fire. The Fae Queen often found herself up in the middle of the night and drinking tea when she was feeling restless.

Sitting up straight, Aelin fixed the blankets and sheets and watched Rowan from across the room. There truly wasn't anyone else in this world that Aelin would prefer to have by her side this entire pregnancy. Rowan was beyond helpful and excited. He took on her duties when she couldn't, and easily ran Terrasen when she was stuck in bed, too sick to leave, whether that sickness was from from a lack of sleep or anything else pregnancy related, Rowan was taking on all her duties on top of his own.

Even when he drove her mad with all his fussing, she was glad that he was there for her every step of the way, even when her emotions got the best of her and she would go from yelling to crying within minutes, he was there. And at the end of the day, he would rub her swollen feet with a soothing salve, listening to whatever she was talking about, or he would tell her stories from his life before Maeve or during his years in Maeve's service (although, she much preferred the stories before he was enslaved to the Valg queen, but she always listened with rapt attention).

Coming over on silent feet, Rowan handed her the tea, the scent inviting. “You drink that and I'll get Yrene.”

Nodding, Rowan left her to her tea, quickly dressing before he disappeared. Aelin was close to falling asleep when Yrene and Rowan came in, the young Healer looking as bright as the sun as she greeted Aelin.

Aelin grumbled at Yrene's cheeriness, although she knew that was irrational as well.

Yrene sat on the bed, inspecting Aelin with watchful eyes, Rowan doing the same behind her. “Apparently my niece is giving you trouble?” Aelin smiled at that, temporarily letting go of her grouchiness; at least her and Rowan's child was going to have a big family, the kind that Aelin always wanted when she was growing up.

“That she did,” Aelin said. “She's probably getting too big for my womb if she can't sit still for five minutes.”

“She'll be here soon,” Yrene promised her. Aelin knew that if Yrene wasn't worried, then Aelin shouldn't be, but Aelin was just simply growing impatient, she wanted to hold her daughter, to finally see her after carrying her for ten months.

“You said that yesterday. And the day before that.”

“And she will be here soon,” Yrene said. “Are you finished with that tea?” Aelin nodded and put the cup down, her eyes going down to Yrene's hands, watching as they filled with golden light and came to rest on Aelin's protruding stomach. The Healer's brows furrowed in concentration and Aelin held her breath, a part of her always worried that Yrene was going to tell her that something was wrong. Minutes passed, and Yrene gave her a small smile. Aelin let go of her breath, instantly at ease at that smile. Behind her, Rowan smiled too, he worried as well.

“She's perfectly healthy and comfortable, still. But if she isn't here by the end of the week, I can give you a tonic that helps to induce labour. It tastes dreadful, but hopefully it won't come to that.”

Aelin nodded and thanked Yrene for her time, the Healer helping her out of bed, grunting slightly at the Queen's added weight.

Yrene had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the sharp glare Aelin shot her way.

Waddling to the bathroom (and Gods, Aelin couldn't believe that she was actually waddling), Aelin washed her face with hot water, deciding on having a bath after breakfast, with Rowan inviting Yrene to join them for breakfast, because while Yrene was there for the birth, Aelin was happy to have her friend around and opted to spend as much time with her as she could.

Despite being tired, Aelin was happy as she ate breakfast with her mate and friend, thinking over the light duties she had to attend too for the day.

X X X X X

Aelin was dozing during the meeting that apparently had no end in sight.

And that's when Aelin felt it, the tight, uncomfortable sensation in her belly. Grunting as her first contraction started, Aelin's pants grew wet as her waters broke.

Fenrys was instantly there, having been by her side the entire meeting. “This is certainly an interesting way to get out of a meeting.”

Aelin rolled her eyes, too shocked to laugh, because after all this time, the moment was finally here. “Just get me to my room.”

The Lords and Ladies dispersed, rushing to alert Yrene and Rowan of the development. She was halfway to her chambers when Rowan appeared, wild eyed and scanning her from head to toe. He came by her side, kissing her temple as he thanked Fenrys for his help and swooped Aelin into his arms.

“I can still walk,” Aelin said, grunting as another contraction came and went. It was only her third or forth one, but Gods, it was uncomfortable.

“I know,” was all her said, easily taking the stairs as if he wasn't carrying his heavily pregnant wife. Fenrys stayed by her side, a nervous energy surrounding him—he was worried for Aelin, despite knowing that she would be perfectly fine in Yrene's capable hands, since she was more than his Queen, Aelin was his best friend and Fenrys hated to see her in pain.

Yrene, Aelin's personal Healer Magnolia, and three young apprentice mid-wives where in the royal chambers when the three of them arrived. Rowan carefully sat Aelin on the edge of the bed, taking off her shoes and socks. He started to reach for her soaked pants when his head snapped over to Fenrys, the message clear in the King of Terrasen's eyes.

Fenrys nodded and wished his friends luck and left the room, but stayed in the hallway and made himself comfortable as he waited for his niece or nephew to be born.

X X X X X

Ten hours later and she wasn't even close to being done with this birth—she hadn't really even started; the contractions wrecked her and she hadn't even started pushing yet, not even completely dilated, much to her disbelief. She knew that it wasn't going to be a quick birth, Rowan told her months ago that his mother had been labour with him for thirty rutting hours. All Fae births were long, Aelin knew, but Gods, ten hours simply wanting to be dilated was...she didn't even have the words for it.

Rowan was at her back, his wind holding her legs, her feet planted firmly on the bed, his hands laced with hers. Aelin was perched at the end of the bed utterly naked as even her simply cotton shift got in her way, Yrene sitting on short stool, keeping track of the birth with her magic. It was ten at night, but it was clear that no one was getting any rest tonight, although the poor young midwives looked ready for bed. The room was bright with the roaring fire in the hearth.

Loose strands of golden hair clung to Aelin's face with sweat, her face feeling hot even with Rowan's ice magic cooling her down every now and then. She could hear Fenrys pacing outside. Aelin wished she had the focus to ask him to use the Wyrdmark portals to have her friends come to the castle, but all her focus was entirely placed on this moment—and there'd be no point in asking Rowan to do that, as there was no way that he was going to leave her side even for a moment.

Yrene perked up. “You've completely dilated, Aelin, so on the next contraction, I want you to push.”

Oh Gods, the moment was finally here and Aelin felt utterly unprepared. Surely this was all mistake and she wasn't ten months along, maybe this was a strange dream and Aelin would wake up with months left to go.

She wasn't ready, even with all her frustration this last week, her excitement of meeting her child, she wasn't ready.

What if she was a terrible mother? What if she said or did the wrong thing and her daughter hated her forever? What if—

Rowan squeezed her hands reassuringly and placed a butterfly soft kiss on her sweaty cheek. “You can do this Aelin, and when you're done, we'll finally meet our baby. I believe in you.”

Tears in her eyes, Aelin nodded and Rowan kissed her cheek again. Sitting up straighter and taking a deep breath, Aelin pushed with everything she had when her contraction arrived.

And pushed and pushed for hours and hours, squeezing Rowan's hands, and she could have sworn she heard his bones creak from the pressure, but Rowan didn't complain, just ran smoothing patterns on her hands with his thumbs, kissing her cheek and now and then, his ice kissing her, too.

The sun started to rise when the baby's head came through and Aelin pushed forward to see, Rowan doing the same and with a new sense of determination, Aelin continued pushing, pushing and pushing.

It was mid-morning when Aelin pushed one last time, Yrene wrapping their child in a warm towel, when their baby wailed, the sound echoing throughout the room. Aelin sobbed at the sound, more than ready to have her baby in her arms.

“Congratulations,” Yrene said, a wide smile on her tired face, “you have a girl.” Tears fell from Aelin and Rowan's eyes at the words as they watched Yrene inspected her with magic, confirming that again, she was healthy. Yrene cleaned her up and with gentle movements, placed the baby on Aelin's chest, Aelin's arms instantly cradling her daughter to her.

The entire world faded away as Aelin beheld her daughter and her heart threatened to escape her chest when after a few minutes, she opened her eyes—her father's eyes.

“Rowan,” Aelin breathed, eyes tearing up again, “Rowan, she has your eyes.” it took all her remaining strength to take her eyes off her daughter to look at Rowan, who's eyes were misty with tears as well. Aelin leaned forward and captured his lips with hers, pouring everything she felt at the moment into the kiss. Rowan's hand came to her cheek, wiping her tears away with a thumb.

“Thank you,” he said hoarsely, kissing her over and over. “I love you, I love you both so much.”

“As we love you,” she replied, kissing him back and returned her gaze to her daughter.

Rowan's arms held her closely as he rested his chin on her shoulder, his right hand coming up and lightly running the tip of his index finger down her soft cheek.

“Do you two have a name?” Yrene asked softly.

Aelin nodded, not taking her eyes off her baby. It was far too surreal to believe that she was here after ten long months.

“We do,” Aelin said after a few minutes, “Elentiya-Fenrys.” The name came to her months ago. Elentiya, of course, in honour of Nehemia, who Aelin wished above everything else that her friend was here. And Fenrys for all that he risked all those years ago and for being one of her dearest friends.

“That's beautiful,” Yrene said. “But in a few minutes you'll need to start pushing again, to remove the placenta, so I'm going to have Magnolia take her, but just for a few minutes, okay?”

Aelin nodded, although she didn't want to hand her over, with Rowan stiffening behind her. It was certainly going to be an adjustment period for her husband, with Rowan explaining how the first few months were the most dangerous time for a new Fae father, that they had to assess everyone they saw to see if they were a potential threat. Aelin patted his knee in comfort and he relaxed slightly, taking her hands again as the time to push for the after-birth arrived (which wasn't as painful, but still hurt).

When Elentiya was returned to her, it was time for her first feed, with Yrene and company leaving her and Rowan alone for this moment—the sensation was the strangest one Aelin ever experienced.

Afterwards, when Aelin gently wiped her mouth, Rowan asked, “May I hold her?”

Her heart fluttered again. “Of course Rowan, you don't ever have to ask that.” Wincing as she turned, Aelin placed their daughter in his awaiting arms, Elentiya looking tiny against him.

For the umpteenth time, Aelin's eyes filled with tears, the sight so beautiful that she wished she knew how to paint to have this moment captured for eternity.

Rowan kissed their daughter with soft kisses, breathing her in as he held her tightly. Aelin wished she could live in this moment forever.

A family, she had a family. Aelin couldn't believe that she was lucky enough to have one. She wouldn't want a family with anyone else.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and leaned forward to kiss Rowan. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and brought her closer as they watched their daughter doze off when Aelin finally noticed the tiny patch of golden hair on her head.

Rowan was right after all; they had their golden-hair, green-eyed girl. And Aelin wondered what the rest of their children would look like.

“I love you,” she said to her husband, her friend, her carranam, her King and mate. “To whatever end.”

“I love you, too, to whatever end, Fireheart.” Aelin kissed him again and snuggled in closer, content.

[diaryofabeautyfiend]

Plain Gold Ring

(Part 2)

You left a few minutes before he did. He ran up to his place to change. The two of you had already showered together. You had meetings all day and so did he. You agreed to meet for lunch.

Your thoughts drifted to him all day. His strong hands and the spice of his skin were all you could think about. You should have felt guilty but you didn’t. You two really seemed like you connected on a deep and spiritual level. You told yourself not to be naive. Men who cheat never leave their wives. You were a means of escape for him. You decided to proceed as planned and move forward with your Chicago interview.

At lunch Andy came bounding into your office. Before you could even hand him his fork he had his hands on you. “I can’t focus. You’ve been in my head all day.”

“Me too.”

“Yeah? You thinking of my cock?”

“Your cock, your hands…fuck…your tongue.” He slipped his hand in your panties to find you already dripping.

“Shit, baby. I have to be inside of you. This is gonna be quick.” He slammed his hips into you a few times before you both completely lost it. He eased you back down peppering kisses on your neck and chest. You readjusted your panties, smoothed your hair and sat down at your desk to drink some water.

“Oh my goodness are you going to stay like that all day?”

“Like what?” You knew exactly what he was talking about. You just wanted to hear him say it.

“With my cum dripping out of you? Don’t you want to clean up?”

“I’m good.” You winked at him and handed him his lunch.

He chuckled, “There goes the rest of my day.”

You had easy conversation for the rest of lunch. You asked him about Jacob and how he seemed to be coping. He was happy to talk about it. It was evident he adored his son. And there went the guilt bubbling up again. He could see it in your face. “Is this weird for you?”

“A little. Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”

“We don’t have to talk about him.”

“It’s ok. I like hearing about your life. Besides I brought him up. I just want to be sure I’m not reading too much into this. Like we’re just friends who fuck right? I don’t know if I’m trying to catch feelings.”

He was a little offended but couldn’t express that to you. You had sex the second day that you had known each other. That was clearly not something he did nor did he take it lightly. He meant what he said. He really liked you. He would just have to work hard to show you how much. For now, he would follow your lead.

“Oh yeah. Of course. Friends who fuck sometimes. No feelings to catch.”

You went about the rest of your day and got home at a respectable hour. While you were at your mailbox in your building you noticed Lori and Jacob coming in. You smiled and turned quickly to get to the elevator. You realized a lot of people likely knew who they were and made it awkward like you just did. You just couldn’t leave well enough alone and went back to introduce yourself.

“Hi. I don’t mean to interrupt. Are you Lori Barber? My name is Y/N. I work with Andy.” She looked relieved to hear your name.

“Of course! Y/N. So nice to meet you. Andy told us all about you. This is our son Jacob.” He waved to you and you very awkwardly waved back.

“Well I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say hi.” She looked like she wanted to talk more but you hightailed it out of there up the stairs. You felt like an asshole. She looked like a perfectly nice person. If you weren’t fucking her husband you’d probably be friends. Damn it. You couldn’t do this with Andy. As much as you wanted to, knowing Lori was in the same building was too much for you.

That bottle of red on your counter was calling your name. You ordered dinner and prepped for your interview. Hopefully you’ll get a decent offer and out of here before you make a bigger mess.

——————————————————————

While you were in the bath Andy texted. You didn’t respond. While you watch tv he texted again. No text back. After the third unanswered text he called.

“Hey, Andy.”

“Are you ghosting me?” He sounded like he was joking but not really

“No. Just busy. What’s up?”

“Nothing. Too busy to see me?”

You wanted to say yes. Yes you were far too busy to spend time with a married man. You wanted to tell him go back to his wife. But you didn’t. “Of course not. I’ll unlock the door.” You were a goner.

A few minutes later you heard him calling your name. “Bedroom.” you called out. You had been crying about it all night but you have to end things before it gets serious. Even though you weren’t really dating and you said no feelings, you knew yourself. Under the facade of an overly ambitious lawyer you were a hopeless romantic. In the very short time you’ve known Andy he’s been a great guy. The fact remained, he was kind of your boss and very much married. You couldn’t continue.

“Hey. Are you crying? What’s wrong?” He sat on the bed and pulled you into his lap. You sobbed harder. “Y/n. Baby? Talk to me.”

“I met Lori and Jacob. He really has your eyes. We can’t do this, Andy. I know you and Lori are going through a rough patch but I can’t do this.” He was crestfallen. He rubbed your hand while you talked nodding where appropriate. When it was finally his turn to talk, he didn’t trust his voice to be strong.

“I know we just met, Y/N but, I’ve never cheated on Lori. Not ever. I slept with you because I liked you from the first moment we met. I know you said no feelings but, I feel like if you weren’t on the verge of caring, you wouldn’t be crying over me right now.” He was right. You felt all the things you weren’t supposed to feel.

You stayed up talking for a few more hours and ended up falling asleep in his arms. When you woke up the next morning he was gone. It was just as well. You got your notes together for your interview and called in.

The whole conversation was amazing. You and the managing partners really hit it off. They were younger than the partners at your current firm. A lot of women on the senior team. Not twenty minutes later did you friend text you to say they wanted you to take a trip out to Chicago.

When you got into the office you asked Caitlin to clear your schedule for the rest of the week and booked your flight. You were due in court so you grabbed your bag and badge and headed out.

——————————————————————

You were one of three attorneys on this case. Today was the voir dire so all you’d be doing was taking notes on possible jurors. One of the team members was unable to make it so Andy filled in. It was a pleasure watching him work. This part of the legal process was generally pretty boring. Watching him was like theater. You were fawning all over him like a school girl. It was frankly disgusting. At the end of the day Andy called a team meeting to compare notes and start working on court strategy.

You worked through dinner. All of you were exhausted by the end of the night. Since you were leaving the next morning, you handed your coworker Jeremy all of your notes and went to your office to pack up.

“Y/N, can you be in a little early tomorrow? I want to run through a couple of things.” Andy called from your doorway.

“Sorry. I’ll actually be in Chicago. Family emergency. I put it on your calendar this morning. Jeremy has all of my notes. I’ll be out of pocket for most of the trip. Shoot me an email if you need something. I’ll try to get back to you.”

He frowned and let out a deep sigh, “I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how important this case is. Can the trip be rescheduled?”

“I’m sorry. It can’t be. Jeremy is up to speed on everything. He’s done just as much leg work as I have on this case. You’re in good hands.” You patted him on the chest and excused yourself.

——————————————————————

Andy got home and grabbed a beer. Jacob was sitting at the table finishing some school work. “How is your new job, Dad?”

“Good. Everyone there is really nice.”

“Mom and I met Y/N at the mailboxes yesterday. She’s pretty.” Andy was surprised that Jacob even noticed you. He’s always staring at his phone.

“Yeah. She’s pretty.” He ruffled Jacob’s hair. “What are you working on?”

Lori came in to grab a water. She looked like she was running on the treadmill. She hadn’t found a good route around the neighborhood yet. “Hey. I didn’t hear you come in. We met your coworker. She was really sweet.”

“She’s the one who put you in touch with Linda Raymond.”

“Oh. That was nice of her. We should have her over for dinner. I remember when I was single I had nothing but wine and old Chinese in my fridge. I’m sure she’d like a home cooked meal.”

Andy was irritated with Lori’s assumption. “She’s a grown woman. I’m sure she feeds herself.” He knew you did because he’s been in your fridge.

“Well anyway. I’d like to thank her. I’ll send her a bottle of wine. Maybe you can ask her assistant what she likes.”

“She drinks Cabernet.”

He got up from the table and changed into his gym clothes. There was a really nice gym on the bottom floor of the building. He had every intention of going there but he couldn’t get you off of his mind. You mentioned all of your family lived down south. What kind of emergency could you have in Chicago. Maybe it was a guy. You didn’t mention one. He didn’t ask. He wouldn’t be surprised if you had a booty call in Chicago. You were distracted all evening texting someone. He pushed the button for your floor.

——————————————————————

Your flight was early so you started packing when you got home. Half way through your wine fueled solo dance party, Andy was at your door. You were a little tipsy and feeling bold so you answered wearing only a tshirt and panties.

“Evening, Andy.” You opened your arms to welcome him inside.

“Evening. Do you have a minute?”

“Sixty an hour, sir and they’re all for you.” He followed behind you to your bedroom.

“Are you drunk?”

“Not yet. But! The night is young.” He watched you dig through your closet selecting dresses and shoes. Nothing very casual.

“You sure do dress up for a family emergency.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“What do you want, Andy?”

“What’s in Chicago?”

“What’s with the questions?”

“Why are you answering my question with a question? Nothing more suspicious.” Fucking lawyers.

“What do you want, Andy? I won’t ask again.”

“You. I won’t see you for a few days and I’ll miss you. If you are going to see a guy, as I suspect by the amount of lingerie you’ve packed, I want you to remember how good you have it at home.”

Your cheeks heated and your cunt started paying attention. “So demanding, Mr. Barber.” You patted him on the head and attempted to walk away from him. He grabbed your hips and ran his hands under your tshirt over your bare belly. “Andy, we agreed.”

“No, you agreed. I did not. I still want you.” His index finger stroked the wet spot on your panties. “Looks like you still want me too.” Your eyes fluttered closed as you leaned into his touch. He nuzzled your clothed pussy nipped and sucked. His hand rubbed broad strokes over you before he pulled them down and began flicking his tongue over your clit. You let out a low moan of appreciation. “Want me to stop?”

“Andy…” He cupped your pussy and slipped in two fingers grinding the palm of his hand against your clit.

“What’s that, honey? Answer me. Do you want me to stop?” His body was pressed against yours.

“No. God no. But you have to. Your wife…”

“Don’t worry about her. Worry about yourself. Do you want me to stop? Tell me to stop.” he growled into your ear. He pressed his erection into your hip she continued finger fucking you.

Your head went blank and your pussy took over again. “Don’t stop. Please, Andy. Never stop fucking me.”

He spent the rest of the night squeezing every last ounce of pleasure from your body. You showered and ate a very late dinner after which you fell asleep watching a movie. This was a level of bliss you had never enjoyed in your whole life. You were falling in love with him. Fuck your stupid feelings.

Your very full bladder nudged you awake. As you slipped back into bed, Andy’s phone screen illuminated the very dark room. You went to turn it off and saw several missed calls and texts from Lori.

You felt like you were doing something horribly wrong. Not like you could see anything she said. You weren’t sure if you should wake him. But, what if it was an emergency? Something could be wrong with Jacob. You nudged his shoulder but he didn’t budge. This man slept like the dead.

“Andy? Wake up.” you whispered in his ear.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?”

“Lori keeps calling. I wasn’t sure if it was an emergency.”

He grumbled and scowled at the device. “It’s nothing. Go back to sleep.”

“It has to be something or else she wouldn’t have called you so many times.”

“I missed counseling tonight. She’s pissed.”

“Go home, Andy. I can get myself to the airport.”

“No. I’m with you tonight. She’ll have me the rest of the week. Come back to bed. Please, baby. I have to get my fill of you before you leave.”

You had a choice here. You could get back in that bed and spend the rest of the night with this beautiful man. You could feel happy and loved and ignore the fact that, two floors up Lori was likely pacing the floor. Or, you could tell him about Chicago and be done with this mess. You chose option B. It was going to hurt like hell but you had to rip off that bandage.

“What’s in Chicago is a position with a major firm. I’ve already had my first interview. They asked me to fly out for a few days. They’ll make me an offer and I’m going to accept.” He was silent. “Say something. Please.”

“I think I’m falling in love with you.” You smacked him in the face with your pillow. “Ow! Hey! What the fuck?! Stop it. Y/N stop! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You were pissed and on the verge of tears. You switched on the bedside lamp and paced the floor mumbling to yourself. “We’ve only known each other for a couple of weeks. Fuck you. You aren’t falling for me. You’re in love with the fantasy that is our relationship.” You took his left hand and pointed to his wedding band, “As long as this is on your finger, you belong to Lori. You will never be mine. Go home, Andy. I’m going into that bathroom. When I come out, you need to be gone. Who the fuck says they’re falling for someone right before they get on a plane?! You’re almost guaranteeing it will crash.”

That stupid wedding ring. He never took it off. It must be graphed to his skin by now. You felt it when you held hands. It pressed into your breasts when he grabbed them. He was never aware of it but you always were. Painfully aware.

After a few minutes you heard your front door slam. You popped a nerve pill and got back in bed. Fuck Andy fucking Barber for being so perfect. Fuck your stupid pussy for getting you involved in the first place and fuck your stupid heart for feeling anything. You cried yourself to sleep.

——————————————————————

At six am Andy stood in his floor to ceiling window drinking his coffee. He saw you pacing the street waiting for your Uber that was five minutes late. The guy didn’t even take your bag. The car sped away taking his whole future with it.

He couldn’t fathom why you had such a soft spot for his wife. You had from the first time you met. You got her a job and went on a one woman crusade to save their marriage. He guessed you just felt like she had gone through enough. Andy hadn’t really forgiven her for almost killing them in that crash. She didn’t forgive him for his father’s involvement in Jacob’s acquittal. There was no going back. He filed for divorce the next day. Whether the two of you got together or not, he and Lori were done.

——————————————————————

When you got home you went to the mailbox first. You had a few magazines stacked on the table. You guessed no one wanted to steal your copy of Forbes. You saw Lori and smiled. Your earbuds were still blasting away so you didn’t immediately hear her talking.

“I’m so sorry. Did you say something?”

“It’s ok. I’m used to it with Jacob. I said I never got to thank you for passing on my information to Linda. I got the job.” (you already knew) “Anyway. I wanted to invite you for dinner sometime as a thank you.”

“I appreciate it. You really don’t have to.”

“Nonsense. I can use the company since Andy moved out.”

You dropped your things and cursed under your breath. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s ok. It was a long time coming. Let me know what works for you. I’m good anytime really.” She got onto the elevator and you stood in the lobby frozen.

You didn’t want to let Andy know you knew right away so you just sent him a quick message. “I’m back.” When you got back into your place your phone rang.

“Did you take the job?” He hadn’t even given you a chance to say hello.

“I did. They need me there in a month. Taking on a class action. I’ll wrap up what I can here and then I’m gone.”

“And I can’t convince you to stay.”

“It’s a really impressive offer. I can’t pass it up.”

“I filed for divorce.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” (No you weren’t)

“So I have a month to make you fall in love with me.”

“Andy…”

“Can I come over?” Say no. End it. Absolutely not.

“Sure. No physical contact.”

“I’ll be a perfect gentleman.” Now if you could only say the same for yourself.

[underworld-of-imagines]

Guardian Angel - Spencer Reid

TW: depression, post-partum depression, mentions of miscarriage, suicide attempt

A/N: So I don’t exactly know where this idea came from, but wherever it did, I’m glad it came. It’s a really long one, and really really sad. I spent almost 2 weeks on it, so I hope you guys enjoy!

He should have noticed. He shouldn’t have ignored the signs; the resentment that you held towards the small human bundled in his arms, the quietness, the reluctance to do anything that involved getting out of bed. He was a profiler for god’s sake. So how didn’t he see this coming?

“Dr. Reid, may I suggest you go home? She won’t be awake for another day at least, and you need rest.” The nurse pressured him as she checked your vitals, examining the machine that was pumping saline into your body.

“Statistically speaking, a normal person can remain awake for 24 hours before serious side effects are exhibited.” Reid mumbled back to the nurse, glancing down at the sleeping baby in his arms.

“I understand that you are a genius Dr. Reid. However, these are different circumstances, and if you were thinking logically, you would understand that your statistics are not reasonable.” Spencer sighed angrily, he knew she was right, there was nothing right about his statistics or reasoning.

“At least have someone come take care of the child. Maybe a close friend or family member? They could bring you some stuff too.” The nurse suggested, motioning towards the bundle who was slowly beginning to awaken. “I’ll be back in an hour to check on your wife, Doctor.” She exited the room swiftly, her footsteps barely audible in the quiet room. If he didn’t hear the door closing gently, he would have thought he imagined the whole thing.

The nurse was right, caring for both you and the baby was hard, and he wasn’t equipped to care for the baby in the small hospital room. Fumbling around in his jacket pocket, he withdrew his phone, that already had a picture of you and your daughter displayed. He smiled gently, almost forgetting everything that was happening around him at the expression on your face. It wasn’t always like this.

After pressing a few buttons, he held his phone to his ear, gently rocking the now fussy baby with his other arm. The dial tone seemed to last forever as he waited for the recipient to answer the phone.

“JJ,” Spencer breathed out as soon as she picked up the phone. “I need a favour,” the sound of shuffling and hushing in the background almost made him relieved.

“Spence, what is it?” JJ’s calming voice crackled over the phone; he could hear his teammates chatting in the background. The voices faded as she stepped away from the group that had gathered around, hoping to hear from Spencer.  

“Can you come take Leah? Something is wrong with Y/N, and I just need someone to take care of Leah for me. You’re the person I trust most.” JJ audibly gasped. She knew it was serious, just not serious enough for Spencer to part with Leah. Glancing back at the group, she saw their worried expression, who watched carefully as she shoved stuff into her bag and left the bullpen.

“Okay, where are you?”

*****

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this,” Spencer breathed a sigh of relief as he handed the bundle of blankets to JJ. Somewhere in which, his daughter was sleeping peacefully.

“Of course, it’s not worries Spencer. It’s serious isn’t it? I mean, Y/N is here, and you didn’t even tell Hotch you weren’t coming into work.” Spencer looked back at the door warily before nodding at JJ, who was gently rocking the baby.

“Post-partum depression. I found her yesterday after work, called the ambulance. I’ve been here since.” She sighed sadly, looking down at the baby before back at Spencer, grabbing his hand in hers.

“Don’t blame yourself for this, you did nothing wrong.” She reassured, rubbing his hand with her thumb. He nodded knowingly, he knew he did nothing wrong, but deep down he couldn’t stop blaming himself for not noticing sooner. “I’ll call Hotch for you, try to get some rest okay?” JJ smiled gently, “call me if you need anything.”

Spencer watched as JJ loaded his daughter into the baby seat in her car, thanking his previous self for remembering to grab the car seat in the rush. Minutes later, he was waving goodbye to JJ and walking back in the hospital doors, with his cardigan pulled tightly around his thin frame.

Upon returning to your room, he saw that you were still sleeping peacefully. Admittedly, this was the most peaceful he had seen you since Leah had been born, which created a painful ache in his chest.

How long had you been suffering on your own? Did you cry alone at night when he was gone on cases? What did you feel towards the small girl who grew in your stomach for 9 months? Did you love her? Hate her? Have no feelings about her?

He couldn’t blame you, how could he? He knew what post-partum depression was. It wasn’t your fault. But he also knew he didn’t help you.

Instead he was infatuated with his daughter, spending most of his hours at home with her. His excuse? He wanted to give you a break, let you rest from being a mother constantly. By doing so, he unintentionally ignored you, left you to your own mind.

It’s not anybody’s fault, the doctor’s mantra replayed in his mind. When you were first brought in, the doctor almost immediately diagnosed you, despite you being unconscious. All of the signs were there, and there was no denying it. Spencer had questioned a few things, he knew of post-partum depression, and what it was. But even he had to admit, he didn’t know everything.

Resting his head on his hand, he allowed himself to slowly drift off into a light doze.

*****

The steady beeping of a machine.

The lights that shined brightly even through your closed eyelids.

The offensive smell of sanitiser that invaded your nostrils.

Those were the first things you noticed as you began to drift towards consciousness. Everything was fuzzy, unfamiliar, your mind clouded as you began to panic from the confusion. Where are you?

You didn’t notice the beeping increase slowly, or the shadow cast from the nurse standing beside you. All you could notice was the dense fog that clouded your mind.

“Mrs. Reid,” a voice coaxed, guiding you through the fog with a bright lamp. The person holding the lamp was a little girl, that looked almost exactly like Spencer, just younger, and with longer hair. “Mrs. Reid, are you there?” You chased after the girl, slowly becoming aware of your surroundings in the dark forest. This makes no sense, you thought to yourself as you spun in a slow circle.

“Slowly becoming aware…coming out of consciousness…dreaming…Dr. Hamid.” You only caught fragments of the conversation, still confused about your location. The little girl was now gone, plunged back into darkness you noticed how cold the ground underneath your feet was, how damp the packed dirt felt.

And then the ground fell out beneath you, as you tumbled through the darkness.

*****

“Dr. Reid,” the nurse jogged up to a very exhausted Reid, who was nursing a badly-made coffee between his hands. “We have good news, Y/N has been drifting in and out of consciousness for a few hours now. She is still very drowsy, but we have managed to get some motor functions out of her, mostly eye flickering and little hand movements. But this is good, really good.” Spencer smiled widely, you were making progress, coming back to him, to Leah.

The white walls of the hospital corridor seemed a bit brighter as he followed the nurse down the hallway. If he didn’t know better, he’d call it a hopeful white – compared to the dull colour that he saw before hearing the good news. But he was a profiler, he knew better, the psychology. He was a profiler, but he missed the signs that led to this. Not a very good profiler, apparently.

Your body still laid relaxed in the bed, your dark hair and blue gown contrasting brightly against the clean white sheets. Spencer revelled in how peaceful you look, it reminded him of the first time he realised he loved you. You had spent the night at his place after a rough case, he had spent half of the night trying to sleep, but instead watching how peaceful you were when you slept. That night, before he fell asleep, he gently mumbled that he loved you, and watched as your lips called into a small smile.

“I love you,” he mumbled, hopeful to get a reaction from you. For a second, he could have sworn that he saw your lips twitch upwards, which ignited a fire in his heart. A fire of hope.

“Y/N, I know you’re there somewhere. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice anything. But I need you to pull through. Leah needs you to pull through.” He begged, holding your cold hand tightly in his own. “Please,” he whimpered.

This time when the light appeared again, you were now faced with a very dimly lit hallway, with no apparent end. The young girl stood beside you, her brown curly hair contrasting distinctly against her pale skin and white dress. She held the same lamp, which shone light onto the walls – which had small etchings for as far as you could see.

Curious, you stepped closer to the wall, trying to see what the etchings meant. But all you could see were tiny letters, which you couldn’t read.

“Come on, we need to go.” The girl grabbed your hand, her palm cold against yours. She turned, and walked down the hallway, pulling you along until you fell into step with her.

“These words… what do they mean?” You asked as you walked down the hallway, which gradually lightened in front of you with each step.

“They’re a story, your story more specifically. Don’t you recognise this place?” You shook your head, confused as to what she meant. “It’s your head, the deepest, darkest part of your mind.” She explained, pointing to all of the words on the wall. “This is your story, your memories, everything you’ve ever seen or done, whether or not you remember it. It’s you, Y/N.” Reaching out, you let your hands run over the small bumps as you walked.

“Wait, so if this is everything in my life, who are you?” You questioned, glancing down at the young girl, who looked eerily familiar.

“I’m Annalise,” your jaw dropped to the floor as your face fell. “I suppose you wouldn’t recognise me, you never got to meet me, mum.” Painful memories flooded your mind, your daughter, the one you never met, never held. The one who slipped away too quickly.

“Wha-? How?” The words tumbled out of your mouth; your lips numb as your stared at her.

“I’m your guardian angel. When I died, I became your guardian angel.” Her lips tugged upwards slightly, pulling into a small smile.

“I-I’m so sorry,” you sobbed, the tears immediately streaming from your eyes. Sobs wracked your chest painfully as you doubled over, falling to your knees.

“Don’t apologise mum,” her hand touched your cheek, igniting your skin. “It wasn’t your fault,” she reassured. “I just wasn’t meant to be,” her hand brushed back the locks that had fallen in front of your face.

“Did it hurt?” You asked, relieved as she shook her head gently.

“Not even a little bit.” You smiled through the tears; she didn’t suffer. “Come on, let’s keep going. I want to tell you some stuff.”

You pulled her into a hug, sniffling as you smelled Spencer’s shampoo on her. Grabbing her hand, you pulled yourself into a standing position, smoothing out your nightgown before following her further down the hallway once again.

“All of your family and friends wanted to say hello when they heard where you are. Especially your dad, he was once your guardian, until I came along of course. He said he is so proud of you, for everthing you have accomplished and overcome.” Tears welled in your eyes again at the thought of your father, the man who had taught you everything there was to know about life. “Grandpa trained me, he raised me to be the best guardian angel to you.”

“What is it like up there?” You questioned, pointing towards the ceiling. She smiled apologetically at you.

You hardly believed in heaven, but this, you hoped was a sign. Since childhood, you had prayed to whatever higher being, whether a person or the stars, that there was something after death. This was your sign, of a home, a place to belong after death. And not just the dark abyss of simply not existing anymore.

“It’s the most beautiful place, one big family…. But you don’t belong there, not yet.” She said, sensing your excitement, your relief.

“What do you mean?” You questioned; looking around, you noticed the words had finished, now just plain walls on either side. “Where are the words?” She pointed towards the darkness with the lamp, a door was standing at the end of the hallway.

“The story isn’t finished yet. They don’t exist, because they haven’t been written yet.” She explained, her voice thick as she spoke. “I never got to meet you mum, not properly. It was always my biggest dream to meet you, to get to know you. But this isn’t the way, nor the time.” Tears started falling from your eyes in big drops, running down your cheeks. “You need to go home, to daddy, to Leah.” Glancing at the door, you looked back at your daughter, she was a picture copy of Spencer.

“Will I get to see you again?” She nodded with a smile.

“I’m always here, whenever you need, I’ll guide you. And when it’s time, we will meet again.”

Turning to the door, you placed your hand on the cool knob, turning it before stepping into the light.

*****

Bright lights blinded you as you stared up at the white ceiling. Warmth surrounded you, sinking deep into your bones, to your heart. You closed your eyes blissfully, relishing in the warmth. The air smelled clean, almost too clean. Quiet chatter could be heard in the background. But you still relished in the warmth that surrounded you.

“Y/N?” Spencer’s voice broke the silence, forcing you to open your eyes. “Y/N?” He jumped up, crowding over you as he stared into your eyes. “Oh my god, you’re okay.” Pulling you into a tight hug, he shook as he cried, his tears staining your gown.

You’re okay.

[katehuntington]

Title: Ride With Me (part 25) Fandom: Supernatural Timeline: 2008 Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: ±6900 words Summary series: Y/N is a talented horse rider who is on her way to become a professional. In order to convince her father that she deserves the loan needed to start her own farm, she goes to Arizona for six months, to intern at a ranch owned by Bobby and Ellen Singer. Her future is set out, but then she meets a handsome horseman, who goes by the name of Dean Winchester. A heartwarming series about a cowboy who falls for the girl, letting go of the past and the importance of family. Summary part 25: Y/N and Dean struggle with the aftermath of their split. Working together proves to be difficult, but other relationships within the ranch family took a hit as well. When the cowboy thinks the day can’t get much worse, complications arise, forcing him to make yet another difficult decision. Warnings series: NSFW, 18+ only! Fluff,  angst, eventually smut. Swearing, smoking, alcohol intoxication, alcohol abuse. Mutual pining, heartbreak, slowburn. Crying, nightmares, childhood  trauma. Description of animal abuse, domestic violence, mentions of  addiction. Financial problems, stress, mental breakdown. Description of  blood and injury, hospital scenes, character death, grief. Music: (opening scene) The Eye - Brandi Carlile. (Ride with Meadow scene) Home - Hans Zimmer. Follow ‘Kate Huntington’s Ride With Me playlist’ on Spotify! Author’s note: Beta’d by my mom (yes, you read that right. My mom reads my stuff and is on Tumblr). Thank you, @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish​​, @kittenofdoomage​​, @manawhaat​​, @waywardbeanie​​, @atc74​​​​​, and @winchest09​​​​​ for helping me with this story. Also a special thanks to @jules-1999​​​​​, who has offered me her knowledge about rodeo events like these, and @squirrelnotsam​​​​​, who knows Arizona like the back of her hand.

Ride With Me Masterlist

     With frustrated motions, Y/N stuffs her clothes into a bag, not even bothered to sort the items out. Her cheeks are tear-stained once again and she wipes at them angrily. Stop crying, it won’t get you anywhere, she scolds herself, done with feeling this emotional. After all, today is Monday, just another day at the ranch, and they have a lot of work to do. Garth and Ellen did the necessary stable work, but the horses which are usually trained by Jo, Dean, and herself had three days off while their riders were in Flagstaff. 

     Dean. Just the name reverberating in her head forces her to pause her actions. She dips her chin, closes her eyes, and takes a breath. Why? That’s the question she keeps asking herself. Why did he break up with her? Why did he pretend to care, only to hurt her the way he did? Why has he become so bitter, so selfish, so unlike the man she thought he was?

     The questions remain unanswered, and she doesn’t expect they will give her any consolation either. That was the whole issue to begin with, wasn’t it? He can’t be honest. Apparently, he doesn’t think she’s capable of bearing the load he is meant to share with his partner. Apparently, she’s not good enough. Just like she didn’t meet her first boyfriend’s standards, who got tired of her spending more time with her horses than with him. Her second relationship ended in a fiasco as well, this time it was his jealousy of her success that caused the split. Yesterday proved that the third time clearly isn’t a charm. But neither of her previous significant others ever caused a cataclysm as the one Dean has left behind. Her heart is a wasteland now.

     “Are you leaving?”      She’s pulled away from her thoughts by Jo’s voice, her tone matching the horrified expression on her face. She stands in the doorway, looking down at the open suitcase on the floor and the unzipped bag. All of a sudden, Y/N realizes what the scene must look like.      “No. I’m just sorting out my washing,” she says quickly.      “Oh…” the blonde cowgirl sighs, relieved. “For a second there I thought--”      “I won’t let your scumbag cousin chase me away, Jo,” her friend assures her.

     Truth be told, though, she has been thinking about it. Last night she had typed down her information on a booking website, ready to confirm her flight back to Freeport, but as her finger hovered over the ‘confirm’ button, she closed the tab and slammed her laptop closed. The intern came here on a mission. She is going to prove to her parents and to herself that she has what it takes to run her own ranch and that she deserves that business loan. She is not going to abort just because her heart is broken, come hell or high water.

     “Well, good. I would have roped you like a cow and tied you to the saddle anyway,” Jo scoffs, leaning against the doorframe. 

     The cowgirl chuckles as she collects the last of her dirty laundry, zips up the bag, and puts it on the bed. The sight of the not-particularly comfortable mattress has her wishing she could crawl back under the covers and get some much-needed sleep. That’s not an option, however, and so she takes her hat from the corner bedpost and places it on her head. Before she goes out, she quickly checks her makeup in the mirror, but thankfully her tears haven’t smudged her waterproof eyeliner and mascara, and her foundation is still covering the bags under her eyes. It’s been a while since she hid behind the beauty-products, but the confidence Dean gave her has disappeared the second he ended their relationship, so she put her mask back on. There is no way she will give her ex-boyfriend the satisfaction of witnessing just how broken she is.

     Y/N inhales deeply and squares her shoulders, lifting her chin as she stares at her reflection. The woman who looks back at her is fierce and resilient; the complete opposite of the little girl that’s hiding inside. Of course, she doesn’t want to face the day nor the man who hurt her, but she is left with no choice. There is so much more at stake here; her future, her career. This is business, and she will treat it as such. Y/N glances at Jo, giving her a nod, and her friend smiles faintly doing the same.

     Rubbing his tired eyes, Dean pours himself his third cup of coffee. Saying that he had a rough night, is putting it mildly. The first digit of his alarm clock had already changed into a ‘2’ when he finally drifted off, only to jolt awake an hour and a half later, his bedsheets clinging to his sweat-covered skin. For the first time in years, a nightmare has caused havoc, images of his worst memories coming through cracks in the walls he built around all that childhood trauma. After freshening up, he laid in bed again while last night’s events alternated with those same disturbing scenes he saw in his dreams, the sad motion picture of sorrow and heartbreak projected on the ceiling. He gave up on sleeping around four-thirty in the morning, got dressed, and sat out on the porch until the sun came up. But no matter how hard he focused on the sounds of the night that tried to soothe him, he couldn't get her out of his mind. The pain laced in her desperate voice, the tears that fell because of him. But after those hurtful images, he also remembers that bright smile, her giggles, the sparkle in her eyes when she has achieved something. Her tenderness, her touch… It hasn’t even been twelve hours and he’s already craving Y/N, fighting an addiction for a drug he can never have again. The girl who is no longer his Yankee.

     A door squeaks and Dean glances aside, immediately redirecting his gaze back to the coffee mug on the small kitchen counter when Y/N comes into view, followed suit by Jo. Instantly, the tension in the living room shoots through the roof, the crooked, little bunkhouse barely able to maintain the strain. He doesn’t say anything, but thankfully Garth and Benny do exchange a ‘good morning’ with the girls, the silence interrupted by the casual exchange. 

     He spots her perfectly applied makeup, her hair tied back in a tight ponytail that doesn’t  allow a single strand to escape the rubber band. Her shirt is neatly tucked into her jeans, ironed and spotless, just like the day when she arrived at the ranch. Even though she looks breathtaking, the vision saddens him; she’s back to being the woman who needs to have everything under control. He gets it, though, because when she took his advice to loosen up, she let her guard down. If she had kept both hands on the reins, Y/N would have never allowed him to get so close and comfortable. Dean only made things worse for her, and now she was left to pick up the pieces of all that he broke.

     Without saying a word, he grabs his coffee and pushes the door handle down to make his exit, not wanting to make her life more difficult than he already has.

     Ultimately, this Monday was bound to get worse with every passing minute. Dean decided to get an early start before breakfast and got on the tractor, but when the ranch hand tried to back up in order to drag the arena, he couldn't get the old John Deere into reverse. A glance underneath soon determined why and he exclaimed a loud ‘fuck!’ when he detected the puddle of gearbox-oil on the dusty ground. Turning the fresh horses out only added to his agitation, especially when the youngsters stirred up the palomino stallion Led while the wrangler was hand-walking him. The Quarter is still recovering from the nasty tendon injury he suffered on the job, and isn’t supposed to be bouncing off the concrete like a rubber ball on a leash, but tell that to an energetic horse who has barely been out of his box for the past month. Garth readied a horse for his boss, which he managed to ride before breakfast, but Dean was unfocused and gave up after thirty minutes.

     Now, they were all quietly eating their breakfast, the delicious meal giving them some consolation. Ellen observes the awfully silent crew, exchanging a look with her daughter, who with a slow shake of her head tells her mother to not bring it up, and so she doesn’t. The head wrangler is the first to get up from his seat, rinse his plate in the sink, and return to the stables. The others follow his example, the barn soon buzzing with activity. 

     Y/N works like a dog, mucking out the stable in record time without pausing. It’s a good distraction for her reeling mind, the hard labor ridding her of the frustration that boils her blood whenever she thinks of the man who ruined her faith in true love. Garth, sensing that the intern was fine on her own, took the tough job of raking the arena by hand, since machinery has let them down. Meanwhile, Jo and Dean train the animals as per usual, but there’s no bantering between them during the cool down. In fact, the wrangler’s cousin has decided to ignore him altogether. 

     Getting more irritated with every second passing, the horseman dismounts the six-year-old gelding named Santana, deciding that a light workout is enough for today. The wrangler is always careful to not let his emotions bleed into his work, but he’s finding it difficult to keep himself in check. Jo has already parked her horse next to the bay Quarter and has tacked down the buckskin without granting Dean a look. He sighs; Jo is not easily going to forgive him for hurting her friend, but he still tries to break the stifling silence.

     “Can you pass me the water?” he asks, nodding at the yellow garden hose that’s rolled up by the faucet.      Without even granting him a look, the ranch owner’s daughter throws the showerhead in his direction, the nozzle clattering on the tiles in front of Dean’s feet. He sighs, annoyed.      “So this is how it’s gonna be?” he scoffs. “I get that you’re mad, but you can at least t--”      “I have nothing to say to you,” she snaps. 

     It’s not the first time Jo is angry with him, because the two have a habit of getting on each other’s nerves. This time it’s different, though, and the bitterness in her tone sends a clear message that he has burned his bridges. Gritting his teeth, he lets the comment slide, deciding that it’s useless to fire back a counter. She has a solid point after all; he doesn’t deserve her sympathy in the slightest. Figuring that these will be the only words they exchange for at least a couple of days, the cowboy begins to hose down Santana, when Jo turns on her heels with her horse’s lead rope in one hand and her fist firmly planted on her waist.      “You know what? I do have something to say. You just don’t get to speak in return,” she kicks off, about to unleash her wrath.      Dean lifts his gaze from the dirt and sweat that he’s washing out of his horse’s coat, for the first time looking into his cousin’s fiery eyes. The petit cowgirl, who is easily nine inches shorter than the man before her, is intimidating nonetheless. He takes a breath, bracing himself for impact. Here it comes.

     “You’re a cold-hearted, spineless, self-absorbed dick, know that? For once in your life, you’ve got something good goin’, someone who was willing to look past your gigantic ego and your daddy issues, yet the first thing you do when life gets tough, is drop her like a hot potato. Do you have any idea how much pain you’ve caused the poor girl? Because I do! She wouldn’t want me to tell you this, but she cried for hours, hours, and that’s on you! Guess who had to comfort her, huh?” Jo goes off. “I am so far past mad; I am furious! I really thought you had finally found a reason to change into something better than the abbreviated piece of nothing that you are now, but it seems like Y/N wasn’t the only one who was naive.”      “You done?” the wrangler says coldly when she pauses to catch her breath.      “Go hump a cactus, Dean,” she sneers.

     With those words, Jo strides away, the large animal next to her obediently following her, well aware that now is not the time to be stubborn. The man who’s left with the poignant insults still echoing inside his head, pulls at his bottom lip with his teeth, staring at his feet for a second before he sniffs and focuses on the task at hand again. He might have pretended that her message left him unbothered, but the opposite is true. Jo could as well slap him across the face; it would hurt less. 

     Defeated, the wrangler takes Santana to his box and removes the halter from the large animal’s head. The sweet horse seeks contact, nudging her nose against Dean’s shoulder. He rubs the Quarter’s withers before he exits the stable, appreciating the only kindness that he’s received so far this morning.

     “Dean?”      He tenses, not expecting his name to fall off the lips of the woman who he parted from only yesterday. When the cowboy meets her gaze, the look Y/N gives him is as cold as the tone of her voice.      “I need a word,” she says, although it sounds more like a demand.      “S - sure,” he stutters, glancing down briefly before he looks back up again, suddenly nervous. He’s not sure if he can handle being scolded by his ex-girlfriend as well.      “I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to work together anymore,” she states formally. “I’d like a new supervisor.”

     Dean cocks his head back slightly, unbalanced by the appeal. He rubs his temple, averting his eyes but then nods, acknowledging that she’s probably right, even though the request is a painful one.      “Yeah, uh - sure. I’ll ask Garth,” he stammers, estimating that he would be the obvious choice since she’s so close with Jo. He wouldn’t want their friendship to be tainted by the difference in rank.      “Okay,” the intern responds, her expression stark and strained, before she walks past him.

     Motionless, the head wrangler remains on his spot, setting his jaw and closing his eyes for a second. Somehow, he didn’t expect their first exchange to be strictly business. Her stance is so different from what he’s grown used to. Even on the night they met when she gave him a hard time, the tension between them didn’t feel as heavy as it does now. He realized when he called it quits that she would struggle with his decision, but Jo’s confirmation that she spent most of last night crying over their separation has him desperate to ease the pain.

     “Y/N…” he says softly while turning before she’s too far gone to pick up on his voice.      “I have work to do,” she cuts off, shooting him a short glare over her shoulder.

     Dean swallows thickly while watching her leave, fast and determined strides taking her as far away from him as possible. Damn it, he really did ruin his chances of even maintaining any sort of a friendship, didn’t he? He’s not sure what else he expected after the way they parted, but despite the loathing and vexed look she just shot him that feels like a bullet to the heart, he’s glad. Let her be angry, let her hate him. It will be easier for her to deal with those emotions, than just the overwhelming sense of sadness. He knows, because he hasn’t felt this devastated, empty, and incomplete since his family fell apart; he’s talking from experience.      Wishing the day was over already, the cowboy adjusts his hat and gets back to work, hoping that riding will offer him the therapy he so desperately needs.

     Unfortunately, the day doesn’t pass by nearly as fast as Dean would like to. After riding five horses, he, Benny, and Garth use their lunch break to look at the beat-up tractor that once again has let them down. The head wrangler doesn’t mind skipping his midday meal; he would rather avoid sitting across from Y/N in a room overflowing with awkwardness, plus, he’s not hungry anyway. 

     The machine from 1979 was bound to die on the crew sooner than later, but after the farrier slash mechanic discovers metal particles in the gearbox fluid, it becomes clear that a simple oil change isn’t going to cut it this time.      “Yep, she’s toast,” Benny sighs, wiping his dirty hands with a cloth.      “Just what we need,” his friend grunts. He’s not looking forward to his uncle’s response to the setback. “I’ll tell Bobby.”      “I can if you want me to,” the stable boy - who is also responsible for the machinery - offers.      Dean purses his lips slightly, his thumbs hooked through the belt loops of his jeans while he stares at the old John Deere absently. “Nah, I’ll do it. I got a question for you, though. Do you mind supervising Y/N from now on?”      Garth shakes his head, taking in his boss, somewhat confused. “No, not at all.”      “Good,” the wrangler replies quickly, thankful that the slender employee takes on the task without question. The clueless young man didn’t pick up on the relationship between Dean and the intern to begin with, and he would rather keep him in the dark, especially now that it has ended. He knocks on the rusty hood of the tractor before he heads off. “I’ll see y’all in a bit. Can you start rolling out the hay to the pastures with the wheelbarrows? It’s gonna take a hell of a lot longer without this old thing.”

     The shade inside the stables is welcoming, and not just because it offers cooler temperatures. Dean’s eyes are still painfully sore from the lack of sleep and he rubs at them again, trying to stop them from burning. Shit, and it’s only Monday, he sighs to himself. The three-day event over the weekend means no time off for the employees who attended. The last time he didn’t have to show up at seven in the morning or earlier was late September, which means that he has been working twelve-hour plus shifts for fourteen days straight now. Work never stops on a ranch. The horses depend on him; they will always need food, a clean stable and exercise, no matter how tired, lovesick, or miserable he is. 

     The cafeteria is already empty. His aunt is probably at the guesthouses to change the sheets and towels, giving the accommodations a quick once-over. However, he finds a post-it on the long table with his name on it; ‘Don’t forget to eat. Bacon sandwiches are in the fridge - Ellen’. As the cowboy smiles for the first time today, he wonders if Bobby has told his wife anything about John’s unexpected visit in Flagstaff, hoping that he hasn’t. Knowing his aunt, she’s going to sit him down for some sweet tea and a talk, even though previous attempts of having a conversation as such proved to be unsuccessful. He appreciates her concern, though, the idea of his surrogate mom caring about him offering Dean some solace.

     The wrangler walks through the high barn doors on the other side, the sun doing its very best to cheer him up, but the rays don’t reach his soul. He makes his way to the Singer’s home, reckoning he will find Bobby there. As per usual, Dean takes off his hat and hangs it on the coat hanger, kicking off his boots before he proceeds to the office in the back of the house. After knocking, he pushes the door ajar, finding his uncle behind his desk. The place is still a mess, but the occupant’s features aren’t draped in shadows like the last time he was here. The blinders are open, the window a passe-partout of the Joshua tree, together with the paddocks and pastures surrounding it. 

     The rancher looks up when his nephew enters. “Hey, son. How’s the tractor comin’?”      “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s fried. The oil is swimming with debris,” Dean tells, taking a seat on the other side of the desk.      “Metal?” Bobby questions. When the young man across from him nods, he curses. “Balls!”

     Dean presses his lips into a firm line, keeping still in the worn chair to prevent it from squeaking. His uncle seemed to be in a good mood after the successful show, but he can tell that this setback has put a strain on the old man’s frame of mind. 

     “You’re gonna call the service station?” the head wrangler wonders.      “No, that’s gonna cost us. We finally managed to make some money, I ain’t planning on spending it on that damned thing.” The rancher adjusts his ball cap before leaning back in his chair. “You boys can give it a go first, open up that gearbox, see what’s broken. I’ll order parts once you figure out what’s wrong with that piece of shit.”

     Scribbling something down on a piece of paper, Bobby sighs, but then returns his focus to Dean. “There’s somethin’ else I need to discuss with you.”      His right-hand raises his eyebrows slightly, his interest peaked. “What’s that?”      “It’s about Cain,” his uncle murmurs. “Apparently MacLeod didn’t tell the entire story.”      Dean scoffs, shaking his head. “Should I be surprised? I’m not sure what kinda vibes you picked up from that shady dude, but I sure as hell don’t trust him for the life of me.”      “I don’t either. That’s why I think we should reconsider that deal.” Bobby rests his elbows on the armrests of his chair, forking his fingers together in his lap. He expected some resistance from Dean, but not such a strong reaction as his nephew fires back.

     “What?! Are you serious?” he counters, perplexed. “You’re just gonna wipe it off the table?”      “Not ‘just’, but we need to consider our options,” his boss returns.      “How many options do we have exactly? Because the way I see it, this arrangement is a pretty damn good one. It’s good money, a steady income with the prospect of a huge bonus, not to mention what doors it might open for the future. This horse might be the break we need,” Dean advocates, remembering Y/N’s words clearly when she summed up all the possibilities that Cain might bring with him. “Look, I know Fergus is a proper dick, but he has a reputation to protect. There’s too much at stake for him, and I don’t believe he will double-cross us. If we deliver, he’s gonna pay good bucks.”      “And that’s where we might have a problem; actually delivering,” Bobby returns, taking in his head wrangler.      Dean draws his head back, slightly hurt, frowning at his uncle’s words. “You don’t think I can get the job done?”      “I’m not sure if anyone can, son,” the owner of the Gold Canyon Ranch states calmly. “The horse doesn’t just have ‘some behavioral issues’, as Fergus put it. He’s unapproachable, unpredictable, aggressive. That stallion is dangerous to everyone in a square mile radius. Jody rang me this morning to warn us.”      “Jody?” the cowboy returns, puzzled. He’s aware that the female rancher knows a lot of people in this business, but he didn’t expect the news of the famous stallion’s arrival would spread so fast. “How did she even know that Cain was coming to us?”      “Because MacLeod is a client of hers. Cain is currently in her stables.”

     Dean’s eyebrows hit his hairline, emerald greens staring over the desk at the man on the other side. While gaping at his uncle, questions begin to race through his mind. Jody did business with Fergus? Jody is a good trainer with excellent judgment, so if she claims Cain is untrainable, that says something. Their last conversation in Flagstaff comes to mind, the news about Gabe’s hospitalization shocking him at the time. Could his friend’s injuries be the stallion’s doing?

     Bobby watches his trusted worker process the information, rolling his chair a little closer and resting his forearms on the varnished wood, closing his hand over his fist. “I know this complicates things, but I’m gonna leave it up to you. If you think you can handle the stallion, I will trust your judgment. But I don’t want you to risk your neck for the money, Dean. We will find another way.”

     The horseman chews on his lip as he ponders, his focus capturing nothing in particular as his eyes flick over the items and documents on the desk. “We’ll have a week to evaluate him. I’ll make the call after that,” he decides. “Mind if I contact Jody to get some insight on what I’m up against?”      “Knock yourself out,” Bobby consents. “Just leave the numbers that we agreed to out of it.”      “Will do.” 

     Dean gets up from his seat, pushing the chair closer to the desk before he intends to slip out of the office before he’s stopped by his boss.      “One more thing,” the wise man says, looking over his enclosed hands. “What’s going on with you and the intern?”

     Caught, the head wrangler freezes, eyes wide with shock and pure horror staring into the hallway. Shit. How the hell is he going to answer that? Is he referring to the dance at the opening night of the horse show or the palpable tension that has surrounded the former couple whenever they were in close range of each other? Dean doesn’t know, but he has the feeling that the continuation of this conversation is going to be anything but pleasant. Composing himself before he turns back to face his uncle.

     “Nothin’. What do you mean?” He shrugs as the corners of his mouth draw down, pretending to be careless.      “Don’t play dumb, boy. I was born at night, but not last night.” Bobby glares at him knowingly. “Are you messin’ around with her?”      “No,” Dean says firmly, the truth in his words hurting him deep down.      His uncle lifts his chin, holding the cowboy’s gaze while narrowing his eyes. It’s clear that he’s not buying. “You wanna explain then why you two were like two peas in a pot in Flagstaff, but can’t even look at each other now?”

     With his hand still on the door handle, his nephew attempts to keep his act together, but then he sighs. Damn it, he was so close to making it out of this meeting alive. Oh well, what’s one more lecture, right?

     “Look, there’s nothing going on, not anymore. I - uh, I got carried away and I shouldn’t have let it,” he admits. “I broke it off. It won’t happen again.”      “Is this gonna be a problem?” his boss asks sternly. “If you two can’t work together--”      “It isn’t. Garth will supervise her from now on. Just to prevent any issues in the future,” he continues, hoping the fact that they actually discussed how to carry on as colleagues from this point forward will put the concern to rest.

     “There better be a future for her here on this ranch. I can’t afford to lose a free worker, especially not one as skilled as she is,” Bobby warns, not convinced. “I’d pray that she won’t pack her bags if I were you, ‘cause I’ll give ya one guess who’s gonna have to work twice as hard and whose ass I’m gonna bust.”      “She won’t leave,” his head wrangler guarantees, willing to bet his life on it. 

     His promise might seem based on a hopeful hunch, but Y/N hasn’t given Dean any indication to question her professionalism. She even approached him in order to change the conditions of her internship, which couldn’t have been easy for her. Their interaction will be minimized and strictly business from now on, something he reckons she will handle much more gracefully than he will, simply because she has a bigger purpose to focus on. This placement is a stepping stone to her dream of owning her own ranch, and that goal hasn’t changed. He knows she won’t leave Gold Canyon.

     Bobby observes his nephew, still bothered by the fact that he didn’t listen to him when he specifically told the bachelor not to get involved with the intern. He’s going to save the rant for another time, though, the sight of an already dejected man before him having him hold back. It seems like this is doing a number on young fellow, and considering how they were with each other at the horse show this weekend, he’s not surprised. The two reminded him of his twenties when he first got together with his Ellen. The boy is hurting, more than he lets on.      “Alright then. Get goin’, I’ve got bills to pay,” he eventually says, shooing Dean out with a flick of the wrist.

     Relieved that his uncle is cutting him some slack, he nods and silently pulls the door shut, putting a barrier between himself and the conversation he has been dreading for weeks. If only he could be able to tell Bobby that he’s with the girl he’s in love with; he would have taken the grumpy rebuke with a grin on his face. If only.

     While stepping outside, the cowboy pulls his cellphone from his jeans pocket, looking up Jody Mills’ number in his contacts. He begins to slowly stroll back and forth on the porch in its sheltering shade, the floorboards moaning and cracking under his boots as he waits with his Nokia pressed against his ear. The steady tone beeps twice before his friend picks up.      “Hey,” it sounds from the other side of the line. “I was hoping you’d call.”      “Yeah, Bobby told me about Cain,” he returns. “Kinda complicates things, don’t it?”      “I need to listen to me very carefully,” Jody starts, earnest and worried. “Do not take that horse into your stable.”

     The cowboy sighs, glancing over the land while hooking his thumb behind his belt. He figured the female rancher would try to convince him to back off.      “It’s good money, Jody, and I’ve handled difficult cases before. Cain deserves a shot. I have to try.”      “I get it, but hear me out. If Fergus offered you a deal that seems too good to be true, that’s because it is. I know you’re an excellent trainer, hell, the best that I know. But I’m telling you, we’re not talking about a stallion with some authority issues here. That horse is twisted, has wires crossed. I have never seen such behavior,” she presses. “So many people have tried to straighten him out already. I did some digging, and Fergus’ supposedly ‘million dollar prospect’ has moved in and out nine different stables over the past year. No one has succeeded.”

     He ponders, not taking her warning lightly. Jody is an experienced equestrian who has dealt with many tough animals. She even passed some horses on to him when she couldn’t get through to them. The woman is well aware of the limits to her expertise and has always been honest with clients when a horse was too much for her to handle, but never before has she doubted that the wrangler from the Gold Canyon Ranch could do the job.

     “When Gabe got hurt, was it…?” Dean wonders, hesitant, not finishing his sentence.      “It was Cain.”

     He sets his jaw, the muscles flexing under his stubble. Although he assumed it was the stallion who has put his former colleague into the hospital, it still shocks him. He continues to pace the deck in front of the Singer’s home.      “How is he doing?” he wonders.      Jody pulls in a deep breath, the message she’s about to deliver clearly a difficult one. “He’s never gonna walk again. Paralyzed from the waist down.”

     Dean closes his eyes and swallows thickly. It’s the outcome they all feared, but hearing the confirmation makes his gut churn. Losing one's legs is a nightmare for everyone, but for a rider? He can’t possibly picture it, becoming wheelchair-bound. Honestly, he would rather die than to never be able to get in the saddle again.

     “Dean, I know you believe every horse deserves a second chance, but please, let this one go. He is beyond repair. I’m not asking, I’m begging,” she pleads, a tremor in her voice. “If you take on Cain, it’s only a matter of time before you get hurt, or worse.” 

     The words are backed up by a heavy silence. The two stay quiet for a while, the words sinking in with the wrangler. Flight animals fueled by fear can do either two things; run or attack. If getting away from the supposed threat is impossible, they tend to go for the last. It’s not something the horse will even think about; it’s a survival instinct. When a naturally kind creature takes a turn like that, it becomes a thousand-pound killing machine. If Cain is truly that far gone, it is likely that he is indeed beyond saving. The trainer has to see it for himself, though, and not just because the ranch can use the cash. He realizes that if he doesn’t take on this task, someone else will, someone with less experience. If this stallion is really that lethal, the next novice trainer might make an error of judgment that will be his or her last. At least Dean has the skills. It seems like he is Cain’s last resort, because if he isn’t trainable, he will get the bullet at some point. He wouldn’t be the first horse to be put down because of similar problems.

     “Thanks for the warning, Jody,” he responds after a long pause. “I’ll keep it in mind.”      “Dean--”      “I know. I know what you’re gonna say, but if I don’t do this, who knows what might happen to him. I’ve got a week to decide if we wanna go through with it. That’s the least I can do.”      He can hear his friend grunt, frustrated, probably realizing that changing his mind was a long shot to begin with. “Just… be careful, okay?��      “I will, promise,” Dean assures. “Talk to you later.”

     The cowboy hangs up, staring at his phone for a few more seconds before he puts it away and steps out into the sun, heading back to the stables. The admonition continues to ring in his ears, and he allows the caution to imprint the decisions he needs to make in the upcoming days. After all, warned is forearmed.

     Y/N wishes anyone had warned her how painful it is to have her heart broken by the person who made it beat just for him. Maybe she would have been more mindful then, more guarded. Maybe she wouldn’t have let him have it, had she known how careless he would be.

     Around 5 o’clock, her new supervisor said it was okay if she wanted to take her own horse for a ride. Normally she trains Meadow either before or after shift, but she got all the work done at record speed, desperate for a distraction, that all her daily tasks were fulfilled two hours before dinner. Maybe Garth detected that she needed some alone-time with her four-legged friend, because he suggested the ride with a sympathetic smile and a kind nudge, sending her towards the Quarter’s box.

     After straightening out the saddle pad, the cowgirl tightens the cinch. Meadow, who can be a bit of a grumpy mare when it comes to tacking up, stands still without moving a muscle, allowing her owner to ready her for a ride without pulling a prank like she usually does. Sometimes the cheeky horse will try to fish Y/N’s phone from her back pocket, nibble at her hat or her sleeve, or refuse to take a step aside when requested, but not today. Maybe she can sense that such an action could set her human off. 

     The horse accepts the bit when the cowgirl offers it to her, after which she pulls the headpiece over Meadow’s black-tipped ears, securing the straps skillfully. She sniffles, wiping her nose and forcing herself to keep her composure a little while longer. In a few minutes, when she’s away from prying eyes, she will allow to let the tears flow again, but not now, not yet.

     Y/N unties her horse, places her left foot in the stirrup, and swings her right leg over the back of her bay mare, softly landing in the saddle. Picking up the reins, she steers her horse away from the tack up area, the smooth leather between her fingers giving her a sense of control that she’s missing in her love life. 

     Instead of leading Meadow towards the arena, the rider guides her towards the gate that leads to the trail. Her horse had an eventful weekend and gave it her all in competition, so it wouldn’t be fair to put her through a full workout. The performance took a lot out of the willing horse who never seizes to bring her best efforts and more. Even though the freestyle only lasted minutes, the athlete peaked with a brilliant execution of the routine, which takes a lot of skill and strength. Then there’s the ambiance of a show, the new environment, all the sensory overload. The combination of all those factors did a number the Quarter, and she deserves a calm and relaxing ride, much like the young woman she’s carrying on her back. Y/N is in no state to train, well aware that the heightened emotions will get the best of her if something might not work out the way she planned, and that’s not something she wants her companion to bear the consequences of. If anything, Meadow has been absolutely wonderful, seeming to understand that her person is sad and needs someone to lean on.

     After closing the fence behind them, the girl and her horse follow the path that leads towards the hills. Cacti flank the road ahead towards the Superstition Mountains, which stand tall in the backdrop. The beautiful amber colored volcanic rock formations seem even more vibrant now that the setting sun blesses nature with a warm glow. The vegetation is much greener than it was when they searched for the herd of youngsters in the reservoir. Autumn is here, and within a couple of months, the ridges that reach for the sky will be covered in snow. It’s supposed to be a beautiful sight, at least that’s what Dean told her.

     Now that it’s just her and Meadow, Y/N finally allows the suppressed tears to fall. The battle she has been fighting all day is one she knew she would lose eventually, she just wanted to be with her most faithful friend when the levee breaks. She doesn’t even intend to wipe the drops of despair away, knowing that she has to let it out now in order to keep up the facade later. And so the last rays of the day catch the shimmering pathways down her cheeks, similar to how the water cobbled at Willow’s Creek, where she and Dean shared their first kiss. All the memories, those perfect little moments that she thought to cherish forever, they are worth nothing now. It was all just a dream.

     Y/N transits into a slow canter, hoping that the wind in her face will chase the sorrow away. She has to feel something completely opposite to the grief that is ripping her apart. She needs to experience freedom and the bond that comes along with this unique partnership between her and Meadow, the simplicity of moving across the desert like men and their horses have been doing so for centuries. No engines, no computers, no engineering. Just two souls of completely different species merging as one. 

     Resting her free hand on her horse’s neck and gripping the black mane, she pushes her heels into the Quarter’s flanks, aiding her to pick up speed. The bay mare takes over, her rider is no longer in control, but she no longer has to be. Y/N doesn’t need to direct this movie, because she trusts Meadow with her life. If there is any being on the face of the planet that she would follow blindly, it’s her companion. Meadow has never let her down, not once, and her owner knows there will never come a moment when she will. And so she breathes in, welcoming the wind to fill her lungs with newfound courage, brought on by the majestic animal that gallops across the landscape, carrying Y/N on her wings. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate every single one of you, but if   you do want to give me some extra love, you are free to like or reblog   my work, shoot me a message or buy me coffee (Link to Kofi in bio at the top of the page).

Read part twenty-six here

[drmmyrs]

Dropped (Becca x MC) Part 2

Hey guys, thank you for the support on the first part of this series (Yess I’m planning to turn it into a mini series). It was hard to write just because I could feel Emily’s heartbreak throughout this chapter but I know a lot of you thrive on the pain like I do 🥲🥲. This chapter might be a tad boring for your taste since I’m kinda setting the scene for the next part but I still hope you enjoy. Let me know what you guys think and I’d really appreciate feedback/constructive criticism.

tag list: @wlwplaychoices  @alexlabhont @woltk @alexroyard @red-queen1013 ( including those who reblogged and replied to the 1st part. If you want to be included in the tag list just let me know ☺️)  

Read Part 1

Pairing: Becca x MC (Emily)

Word Count: 1742

Warnings: Some swearing

You don't love me anymore, do you?

Emily quickly gathered her things as well as some of her clothes, not wanting to spend a second more in that room than she needed to. She dialed Kaitlyn's number as she walked away from the place she had called home for almost a year. She was now crying full-blown tears with her hand covering her mouth as passersby looked at her with sympathy. Kaitlyn picked up on the third ring.

"Hey, Em— Are you crying?"

"Can I stay with you for a while? I just had to get out of there. I'm sorry. I don't know where else to go."

"Hey, hey, of course, you can. Where are you right now? Do you want me to pick you up?" Kaitlyn said gently, her voice full of concern.

"No, it's okay. I can get there on my own."

The walk to Kaitlyn's apartment was a blur. Emily vaguely remembered someone calling out to her, but she was too busy replaying the last few hours to even notice.

When Emily arrived at Kaitlyn's apartment, Kaitlyn immediately pulled her in for a hug.

"Hey, what happened? Did you and Becca get into a fight?"

Emily nodded, unable to speak as tears were now falling uncontrollably down her face. After some time, Kaitlyn pulled away and gently guided Emily to the couch, and fetched her a glass of water.

"Whatever happened between the two of you, I'm sure you'll be able to fix it," Kaitlyn said comfortingly as she gently rubbed Emily's back.

"No, I don't think we can fix it this time." A fresh set of tears emerged. "You should have seen her face, Kaitlyn. She... she... she looked at me like I was..." Unable to finish the sentence, Emily buried her face in her hands, sobbing.

"Oh, Emily." Kaitlyn pulled her in for another hug. They stayed like that for a while until Emily's cries died down to quiet sobs.

"I'm sorry. I think I ruined your shirt," Emily said weakly.

"Eh. It's not my style anyway. I was actually just about to burn it when you came," Kaitlyn jested, attempting to lighten the mood. Emily managed a weak smile.

"Are you feeling better?" Kaitlyn said softly.

Emily nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Emily shook her head. "I think I just need to lie down for a while."

"Let's get you to bed then."

"It's okay. I can sleep here on the couch."

"Nonsense. I'm not leaving you here like that. Come on."

Kaitlyn smiled gently at Emily as she took her hand and guided her to the bedroom. "You can stay here for as long as you need to."

"Thank you, Kaitlyn," Emily murmured, tired from all the crying. After she had settled into bed, Emily took out her phone and stared at the wallpaper as a lone tear ran down her cheek. It was a photo of her and Becca with Becca's arm wrapped around her waist and Becca's lips pressed against her cheek. Emily released a trembly breath as she turned off her phone and drifted off to sleep. — "Why the long face?" Becca asked, wrapping Emily in her arms.

"Just a tiring day is all," Emily replied, melting into the embrace.

"I know what'll make you feel better. How about I go out and buy your favorite ice cream real quick, and then we can watch any movie you want. How's that sound?"

"Really? You'd do that for me?"

"I'd do anything for you. In all honesty, though, I'd rather do things to you," Becca teased.

Emily giggled and playfully smacked Becca. "You're terrible."

"One more thing. Give me your phone."

"Why?" Emily asked as she hesitantly handed her phone to Becca. Becca then shifted behind Emily and wrapped her arm around her waist as she pressed her lips on Emily's cheek, taking a photo. Becca made a series of taps on her phone until Emily was greeted with a new wallpaper.

"So that when you're having a bad enough day, you can just look at your phone and remember that at the end of the day, someone will be waiting for you at home, someone who loves you so crazy much." —

Emily woke up late in the morning when she faintly heard Kaitlyn speaking on the phone outside. "—I don't think she'll want to talk to you anyway... Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

Kaitlyn came back to the room minutes later. "Hey, you're up."

"Yeah. Was that..."

Kaitlyn looked at Emily apologetically. "You heard, huh?"

"What did she want?"

"She wanted to talk to you. She sounded really sorry, Em."

Emily sighed. "I don't think I can talk to her yet."

Kaitlyn nodded understandingly. "Take as much time as you need to. By the way, I know you have class a while ago, but I wasn't sure if I should wake you up. Sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't planning on going anyway."

"I have classes soon, but I can stay here if you want," Kaitlyn said sympathetically.

"No, you should go. Don't worry, I'll be fine," Emily replied with a weak smile.

"Alright. But text me if you need anything. There's food in the fridge and feel free to use the shower. What's mine is yours. I'll be back soon." Kaitlyn gave Emily a quick hug before heading out.

***

Becca's POV

Becca glanced at the clock- 11 AM. Her head was pounding as she recalled the previous night's events.

"Ughh. I'm never gonna drink again," she muttered to herself.

She glanced around the room and noticed that the sheets beside her remained untouched. She managed to get out of bed and walked out of the room sluggishly.

"Babe? Yesterday I-" She looked around the apartment and found that it was empty. Oh, right it's Monday. She's probably in class.

Becca went back to their bedroom and as her eyes adjusted, she noticed that half of Emily's things were gone. She immediately opened Emily's closet and found that some of her clothes were missing. At that moment, she knew she fucked up.

Becca quickly charged her dead phone and as soon as it lit up, several texts and voicemails from yesterday popped up. They were from Emily. Crap. Becca immediately dialed Emily's number but it went straight to voicemail. Becca paced around the room as she recalled their fight yesterday and it just dawned on her how serious it was. She remembered Emily shouting at her and oh god she looked so heartbroken. Rebecca Davenport, you stupid bitch. Becca then proceeded to call Kaitlyn.

"Hey Kaitlyn, have you seen Emily?" "Yeah, she went here crying last night. What happened, Becca? She was a mess." "I fucked up. Is she with you right now? I really need to talk to her." "She's still asleep, and I don't think she'll want to talk to you anyway." "Can you at least tell her I'm sorry? Just please make sure she's okay." "Yeah, I will. Don't worry."

***

Emily's POV

"You have to eat something."

"I'm not hungry."

"And I'm not gonna let you starve to death."

"Well, there are worse ways to go."

Kaitlyn sighed. "Okay, that's it. We're gonna talk about this now. What the hell happened between you two?"

Emily bit her lip. "We were supposed to celebrate our anniversary, but then she forgot. Instead, she went home hours later, drunk. Then we got into this huge fight. Most times I feel like she's just sick of me. Like... she doesn't love me anymore."

"Did she tell you that?"

"No. She doesn't even wanna talk anymore. And honestly, I'm tired of being a doormat at my own home."

"So, is that it? Are you gonna break up with her?"

"Yes. No. I don't know. What do you think I should do?"

"I can't make that decision for you, Em. But one thing's for sure. You have to talk to her before you make one." —

Emily decided that she could no longer run from her responsibilities. She turned on her phone and was immediately greeted by several texts. Some were from James but most were from Becca. Emily sighed, putting the phone in her pocket.

When she arrived at the university, Emily first went to check in on James. As James saw her approach, he stood up with concern in his eyes.

"Em, we were so worried about you. You weren't answering your phone."

"Sorry. Got caught up in something."

"Yeah... I uhh ran into Becca yesterday. She told me you guys got into a fight?"

Emily nodded. "You said that you were assigning me an article to write this week?" Emily asked, changing the subject.

"Right. But you don't have to, I can get someone else to do it."

"No, I want to."

"Okay then. Well, the only article left is about--

James paused to look at a piece of paper and his eyes widened.

"Like I said, you don't have to-"

You snatched the paper from James, suddenly furious.

College Relationships. Great. Just my luck.

"We can change it. I'm sure someone else-"

"It's fine, James. And I don't appreciate you treating me like a fragile piece of glass. I said I'm fine." Emily snapped.

Emily walked away before James had a chance to speak. —

Emily was running with her laptop in her hands with Becca in hot pursuit.

"Come on just a little peek."

Emily giggled as Becca caught up to her hugging her from behind.

"Hey! Why'd you close it?"

"You'll be the first to read it when I'm done, I promise."

"Well, it better be worth it," Becca said as she turned Emily around. She cupped her face and pulled her in for a slow and deep kiss. Emily broke up the kiss and touched her forehead with Becca's.

"It is."

—

Back in Kaitlyn's apartment, Emily stared at the blank screen, thinking of what to write or how to even start.

This is ridiculous.

Emily stood up and grabbed her jacket and strode across the room towards the door

"Em? Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna talk to Becca," Emily said with a determined look on her face. — Emily was walking on the sidewalk towards their apartment when a familiar figure caught her attention. As she turned to look inside a bar, all the time in the world couldn't have prepared her for the hurt that was to follow. Emily grabbed the wall for support as she watched the woman she love kiss someone else.

Read Part 3

[hikarimiyanaga]

I'll Always Be Yours (Part 8)

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Eight Song : Sleep Tonight

A/N : Another English song and the finale of this series.

You enjoy your honeymoon with Natasha Romanoff. Still, nightmares persist.

A little late but better late than never.

-

Tell your goodnight to the light and close your eyes

There's a better place for you than to stay awake

You'll get closer to a paradise of dreamers in love

You'll get better like heaven has done something

-

You smile as you and Natasha settle down in your room. You’re in a resort in Palawan and Steve assured that no one would bother you two for at least a month. You unpack the last of the suitcases when Natasha hugs you from behind. You laugh then turn to her.

“Y/N Romanoff.” You kiss her and smile.

“Yes, Natasha Romanoff? Do you want something, my love?”

“You.” You smile. “Always you.”

-

You sigh as you can’t sleep. You look over Natasha and smile. She looks so peaceful… granted you did kind of overdid with 5 times nonstop. You just can’t help but savor your lovely wife. You pull her closer into you. You were just falling asleep when you hear Natasha whimper. Your open your eyes as she tries to hit you. She whimpers again and you rub her back and whisper comforting words to her. She was having a nightmare. You should’ve been used to this but it still breaks your heart a little when it happens. She calms down after a minute and you sigh in relief. You stare at the ceiling before groaning. You can’t fall asleep again.

-

So lay now, hear me all through the night

There's no teardrop, you can count on me tonight

Or I'll stay up with you

-

You two are just exhausted tonight. It’s been three days since Natasha had her nightmare. You were talking about everything that came to mind before you noticed that she fell asleep. You smile and kiss her forehead before tucking her in. You get your sketchpad and pencil and begin drawing. You get through at least two drawings before Natasha reaches out to you.

“Y/N?” You put aside your sketchpad and pencil before turning to her.

“What’s wrong?” She pouts and you can’t help but smile.

“What are you doing?”

“Sketching? I can’t get those beautiful beaches out of my head and I just had to.”

“But sleep?” You get a hair strand out of her face and she hums.

“Sorry, baby, I promise I’ll cuddle you after I finish.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, Nat.”

After half an hour of sketching you hear her whimper and you quickly set aside your sketchpad and pencil.

“Nat? Baby?” You try to calm her down, but she wakes up. “Are you okay?” She nods and looks at you. She kisses you and you kiss her back.

“It was a nightmare.” You nod as she settles on your side. “Can I watch you?”

“Watch me do what?”

“Sketch.”

“Of course.” You kiss her forehead before getting your pencil and sketchpad. She puts her hand on your thigh and you smile. You sketch for an hour before she falls asleep. You sleep besides her after you hide your pencil and sketchpad.

-

Baby it's alright

I'll be right by your side

No need to cry out loud

Nothing to cry about

Baby it's alright

I'll be just by your side

I'll keep you on my sight

I'll never leave 'til you sleep tonight

-

Natasha cries this time and you panic as you try to calm her down. She hugs you tightly.

“I’m right here, baby. Don’t cry.” You say as you rub her back. She calms down and you can’t help but sigh in relief… it feels like her nightmares are becoming more often.

-

“Nat. We need to talk.” She gulps and goes to you. You pat the spot besides you and she sits.

“Y/N? What-“

“You keep having nightmares, Nat.” She gets teary-eyed. God, did you get tired of it? Of her? Everything- “It’s not that Natasha. I know what you’re thinking.” You take her hands. “I’ll never get tired of you. Even if you make me pass out by your libido or keep me all night with your nightmares. It’s just-“ You sigh and run a hand through your hair. “I’m worried. Are you stressed? Sad? Guilty?”

“Afraid.” She mumbles and you hum. She takes your left hand and smiles at the ring. “I just- I keep thinking about messing things up and then all of those worri-“

“Get in your dreams. What was your dream last night?” She looks up to you and you give her a smile.

“You know that kid you helped yesterday?”

“Yeah?”

“It was… you were with his mom and you were both just so happy.”

“So you got jealous and worr-“

“And guilty. I can’t give you kids, not until I stop being an Avenger and I don’t-“

“Nat. Have you ever asked what I wanted?” You smile and she shakes her head. “Ask then.” She takes a deep breath and looks you in the eye.

“Okay. What do you want, Y/N?” You take her left hand and kiss it.

“You. And everything you’re willing to give. Will that include kids? I don’t know. Will it kill me? Of course not. As much as I love imagining a little you and me running around our own house, it’s early for us. We just got married two weeks ago. You are the love of my life, Natasha, nothing and I mean nothing could ever change that.” She’s crying by the time you were done and you wipe her tears away.

-

I'll cover you with my arms and hold you tight

And I'll be listening to your wonderful and calm little voice

I'll keep watching 'til my eyes burn down

-

“Y/N?” Natasha shakes you but you just whimper. “Baby?” You wake up with a gasp and you look at shock. You stare at each other then you suddenly cry. “Y/N.” She hugs you and you tremble.

“You were gone again.” You say and Natasha nods. She straddles you and hugs you again.

“I’m not going anywhere anymore, Y/N. I swear on my life.” You nod and hug her back. You fall asleep after a few minutes and Natasha lays you down slowly. She cuddles you and falls asleep.

-

“Y/N? Not sleeping yet?” You shake your head and smile at Nat.

“Go ahead. I’ll just finish this piece.” You’re both back in the compound and you’ve been painting for the last ten hours.

“Okay.” She complies and you hum. You take your phone and earphones out. You choose one of her recorded messages. She recorded them so you can listen to her voice even if she was on a mission.

“Y/N. Have I ever told you how blown I am by your paintings?” You smile. She has. Multiple times actually since you’ve given her one. “The way you make art is like the way you love. You’re attentive, focused, and determined.” You chuckle. “That’s why I was floored when you gave me one… and when you let me back inside your life. I messed up. I know that. But I’m going to try and make it up to you with every single day of my life.” You hum. “And when I’m away… well, just listen to this and the other recordings. I’m going to come home to you. I know I will. I don’t think I can spend another lifetime away from you.” You finish it up and sigh in relief. You clean up your art supplies and stretch your body as you make your way to your room. You see Natasha fast asleep and you go to bed beside her. You can’t fall asleep yet so you get your sketchpad and sketch your wife.

-

Natasha wakes up before you and it was a rather rare sight. You usually wake up alongside her or before her. She notices your open sketchpad and gets it. Oh. That’s why. She chuckles and you stir awake.

“Morning, Nat.” You greet and she puts the sketchpad aside.

“Morning, baby. Nice sleep.” You hum in confirmation and she can’t help but kiss you. You smile against her lips.

“Now, it’s a good morning.” She grins and you sit. You notice your sketchpad and look at her.

“You drew me.” You scoff at her.

“Woman, I draw you all the time.” You stand and go to your closet. You open it and gesture at the top shelf full of sketchpads. “All of these are filled by you. My landscape sketches are with Silvia.”

“Really? How come you neve-“

“Because some of them are kinda what I just remember of you.” You get the oldest one and give it to Natasha. “That’s the first one that I filled.” She opens it and smiles.

“It’s beautiful.” You chuckle and sit beside her.

“That’s because that’s how I remember you.” She looks at you and you put a strand of hair behind her ear. “Beautiful, bad-ass, kind and smart. The love of my life.”

“I love you, Y/N Romanoff. I’m so glad you’re mine.” You grin and kiss her.

“I love you too, Natasha Romanoff. I’ll always be yours.”

-

A/N:

And thus ends my series that I somehow wrote under a week.

I'm still floored by fast I wrote this.

And how it's more than 10,000 words in total.

Also, it's pretty amazing that this series' total notes is over 100 which is beyond my expectations?

I expected 20+ and that's that.

So, Thank You so much for all the love you all gave this series of mine.

[prettyboyjackhughes]

-Maybe it wasn’t meant to be- |J. Hughes| [Part 4]

I just wanted to put a little note here and say thank you for all the support for this series! This is the last part to Jack and Charlie’s story but this was definitely one of my favorite things I’ve ever written! But thank you again for all the support and hope you enjoy!

The welcoming crew was there when Charlie and Alex pulled into her parents’ driveway Thursday evening. Trev, Pat, Coley, her parents and Jack’s parents were all waiting for the two of them. Charlie’s stomach turned as she glanced towards Jack’s parents and then at their house. She had known that being back home would stir up old memories, bringing back the Jack she had fallen in love with. Alex looked over at her and could tell, she was lost in her thoughts.

“It’s okay to remember, Char. Especially since here, he was the real Jack.” She nodded her head slowly, taking in everything.

“You’re right. And that’s the guy I want to remember.” She said, climbing out of the car and running to hug her parents.

As he watched the world outside fly by, he remembered. He remembered the smell of her hair, the color of her eyes, the way her smile could make him feel; how much he loved her and loved being with her.

“Do you remember the summer we all went to Lake Louise for a week?” He asked, looking over at Madi. Madi smiled, remembering the trip. Jack’s family had rented a lake house up on Lake Louise for a week, bringing Charlie, Alex and Madi with them. It had been one of the most important weeks in Charlie and Jack’s relationship.

“Oh my god I love you.” Charlie had laughed, leaning back into Jack’s chest. He went stiff, hearing those words for the first time. Sure he and Charlie had always said love you, but that was just a habit and didn’t mean anything really. But hearing her say those 3 words now, now that they were together, had completely rocked his words.

“You...You love me?” Jack stuttered, looking down at Charlie. The two of them had decided to get up early and watch the sunrise their first full day at the lake. So they were the only ones out on the dock. Charlie was sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around her, holding her as close as he could get her.

“I do love you Jack. Why wouldn’t I?” She laughed again, leaning up to kiss him. The smile that covered his face would stay there for the entire trip. When Alex and Madi met them down on the dock later, Alex had asked why he had such a goofy grin on his face and all he had replied was “Oh nothing, just the love of my life loves me back. No big deal.”

“You guys were so happy. Who knew it would crash and burn.” Madi said, keeping her eyes on the road and trying to avoid the topic of Charlie. Those words ran through Jack’s head as he chewed on the inside of his lip.

Her mom had the whole evening planned before she would let Alex and the boys steal her girl away. Charlie had to fill her parents and the Hughes in on everything happening out in Colorado, her big girl job, apartment; all the adult stuff. The boys had sat patiently, for the first time in their lives, and behaved somewhat well. Charlie had struggled through dinner, constantly getting looks from both her mom and Ellen that made her wonder if something was up.

“Honey, we’re so glad you’re home.” Her mom said, hugging her as she got up to clear the dishes away. Alex got up to help, looking pointedly at the rest of the boys to do so. Her dad and Jim left the table to go try some bourbon Dad had gotten from their trip to Tennessee last fall, leaving Charlie with Ellen.

“It’s been strange around here ever since you left. It seems like just yesterday you, Jack, Madi, Alex and all those NDTP boys were crowding into the basement for movie nights and team bonding.” Charlie nodded, keeping her eyes trained on the one picture of her and Jack Mom had up. It was from their graduation, right before the two of them had left for Jersey.

“He came back here.” Ellen said, tearing Charlie’s eyes off of the picture.

“Jack did?” Charlie asked, trying to hide her surprise.

“He did. Right after you left. He came back and pretty much just moped around the house. He was devastated when you left, Char. Sometimes I wonder what it would’ve been like if you two had stayed together and worked things out. Would you two have ended up married? Given me a grandkid by now? But I guess, we’ll never know.” Charlie’s eyes filled with tears and she excused herself from the table, rushing up to her room and flopping on her bed.  She knew Ellen wasn’t trying to hurt her with what she had said. She knew the breakup hadn’t just been hard on her and Jack. It had hurt a lot of people around them. It had torn her away from the Hughes, who thought of her as their own daughter and sister. Her parents had lost the boy they had claimed as their third son. She had distanced herself from the hockey boys, pushing them out of her life so she wouldn’t be reminded of Jack. Hell, she had even shut out Madi. The sad part was, she had thought about all of those things that Ellen had said. She and Jack had talked about getting married and starting a family since they had started dating. She had wanted all of those things with him. The thought of the two of them having kids? Raising them on the ice? It was everything she had dreamed of. Watching her husband win a Stanley cup? Something she had wished for. But now, none of it would come true because she had been so stupid to let the greatest thing in her life go. She had walked away from him. Left him because she didn’t want to get hurt when he said he didn’t want her, just like everyone always had. But she wondered if he would’ve been like everyone else.

“Hey Char? You okay?” Alex asked, walking into the room. He sat down on the bed next to her. Her face stayed buried in the pillow but he could see her nod.

“It’s hard, I know. I’m so sorry.” He said, smoothing her hair. She nodded again.

“Hey, tomorrow when Madi gets here, I was thinking that maybe the 3 of us could have a movie night like we used to? It won’t be the same but it would still be fun.” Charlie finally sat up and looked at him, her eyes red. She had obviously been crying and he figured it was bound to happen at least once during their trip.

“S-sure. That sounds fun. I miss our movie nights.” He nodded, smiling.

“You can pick the movie. You’re sleeping here right?” She nodded again, her hair falling in her eyes. Alex decided that it wouldn’t be as fun to take a sad Charlie out for drinks tonight so he said goodnight to her and her parents, making sure to wave at the Hughes on his way out, then headed back to Cole’s house, where he and the rest of the boys were staying while they were home. Charlie didn’t sleep much that night, too overcome with all the heartbreak, memories and sadness that being back in Plymouth brought.

Jack drove the last half of the drive to Plymouth, trying to distract himself from thinking about Charlie. He and Madi would get to Plymouth around lunch time on Friday, having taken quite a few detours on their way there. He was planning on spending the day with his parents then the rest of the night with Alex, Madi and the boys. Madi had mentioned something about having a movie night Friday night, like they used to when they all lived here for NDTP. The thought of that only brought back happy memories and he intended to keep it that way.

When Alex came downstairs from the bedroom he was staying in at Cole’s house the next morning, Charlie was laying on the couch, face down. Trev and Coley watched from the kitchen island, amused as Pat stared at her, confused.

“Char, what’s wrong?” Alex asks, tentatively. She lifted her head up, looked at Alex then glared at Trev and put her face back into the couch.

“I’m hungry and Trev won’t go get me food.” She mumbles into the couch. Pat bursts out laughing, coming over to sit down on the floor next to Charlie.

“Trev, go get her food please. She’s no fun when she’s like this.” Alex says, laughing and shaking his head. He feels his phone buzz and pulls it out of his pocket. It’s a text from Madi, telling him that she and Jack would be getting into Plymouth within the next hour. Which meant phase 3 of their plan would go into action soon. Alex had planned out the whole evening. He would kick the boys out, sending them over to Patty’s girlfriend’s house for the night. Then Charlie and Jack would reunite and everything would be back to the way it was. He wanted nothing more than that.

“Hey Patty boy, you and the boys are taking Mia and her friends out tonight right?” He asked, looking at Pat hard, trying to make sure he would get the hint. Mia was Pat’s girlfriend, someone that Madi and Charlie had actually introduced Pat to, back when they were all still in high school. The two had become friends and then eventually started dating about 2 years ago.

“Oh yeah, we’re going to Point’s if you want to meet us there after the movie.” Alex nodded, keeping his eyes on Charlie. She was still laying on the couch but she was looking at what Pat was showing her on his phone. She seemed okay for now, but he was a little worried about what would happen when she and Jack saw each other for the first time. He had been thinking about telling her that he was coming home and that he and Madi were planning to get them back together. But he decided it would be best not to do that and let them do it on their own.

“Hey boys, Mads said she’ll be here in like an hour. Why don’t you take Charlie and go get Starbucks?” Alex asked, nodding at Trev who looked at him, confused.

“Why wou-Oh okay! Yeah, come on Char, let’s go get Starbucks.” Trev said, nudging Cole. He and Madi were going to get everything ready before the movie night tonight. Jack would be spending the day with his parents, meeting up with Madi at the ice rink around 6:30 tonight when he took Luke to practice. They would meet up with his old coach from peewee hockey and say hi to the boys on Luke’s team. Around 7ish, the two of them would head to Alex’s house and the phase 3 would begin. The thing that made Alex laugh was that he was nervous. He was nervous about trying to get his two best friends back together. It seemed like something a bunch of high school kids would do, trying to get their friends back together. Not a bunch of 21 and 22 year old adults. But, all of them had seen how miserable Jack and Charlie were. They had to make this work or the two of them would be miserable forever. Jack and Charlie had never had problems before when they dated, at least nobody knew of them if they did. The two of them had the most stable relationship out of their friend group, never having any fights or breaking up. So when they had, Madi used to joke that nobody had any belief in love anymore. But Alex knew, watching the two of them for the past 3 years, that maybe their relationship hadn’t been as stable as they all believed.

Jack was happy to be home of course but his parents, like always, had a ton of things to do while they had him home. After not being home for 3 years, Plymouth had changed a lot. Luke had grown up and was actually becoming a man instead of a boy, which was weird to think about. His parents were starting to gray, almost getting older before his eyes. He hadn’t realized how much the things he loved and the people he loved could change so quickly. Which always brought his thoughts back to Charlie. He couldn’t stop thinking about how she would’ve changed in the last 3 years. He knew he had changed from the 18 year old kid who had let her walk out of his life.

“Dude, if you think any harder, you’re gonna hurt yourself.” Madi said, nudging him as they walked out of the ice rink he used to play peewee hockey at, before hockey was his entire life.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about Charlie. It’s even harder than I thought it was going to be, being here and knowing she hates me.” Madi’s face softened and she patted his arm.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know it’s hard.” He nodded, taking his hat off and running his hand through his hair.

“It’s fine. I’m okay. Let’s head to Alex’s.” Madi nodded and followed Jack to his car. The drive was silent, again. Madi was thinking about Alex and whether or not this whole little plan the two of them had, would work. Jack’s mind, just like always, was filled with Charlie.

Jack followed Madi into Alex’s house, stopping to take his shoes off. Alex stands inside the doorway of the kitchen, Madi already tucked safely against his chest.

“Hey Rowdy. How are you doing?” Alex asks, nodding at him as Jack walked towards him. He let go of Madi just long enough to hug Jack.

“Oh Jack, why don’t you go ahead and go down to the basement and pick a movie. Alex and I’ll be down in a sec.” Madi said, glancing up at Alex with a mischievous look on her face. Jack nodded, figuring that this would probably be how the evening went since Madi and Alex hadn’t seen each other since Alex had gone to Germany to visit almost a year earlier. So he did as he was asked and headed down to the basement. The lights were already on down in the basement so he wandered his way down the stairs, looking at his phone. As he got to the bottom of the stairs, he glanced up and his eyes met hers. Charlie. She was sitting on the floor, just like she always had when they used to do this. Her eyes widened and she stood, her phone forgotten and dropping onto the couch as she stood up.

“Jack…��� She said as he stood there, speechless. Her hair was darker and her face thinner. She had grown up from the 18 year old kid he remembered. And as he thought about all of these things, he felt a little flutter in his chest. His stomach turned and suddenly he had a case of the butterflies he used to get every time he saw her. He wanted to say something, anything, but words wouldn’t form.

“Jack say something.” Charlie said. Her stomach swirled, anxiety causing her hand to shake as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I-I...I missed you.” He said, his movements quick as he moved to hug her. She stiffened but then melted into him. She had dreamed about this day, this moment for 3 years. She had dreamed about him rushing to her, kissing her so passionately that she forgot her own name, forgot why she had left in the first place. But all that went out the window the second his body met hers.

“God I’ve missed you so much.” She said, choking on tears she didn’t think seeing him again would bring. Jack pulls back a little, getting space to look at her.

“Wait. I need a minute.” Jack said, stepping back from her and turning his back. He took a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to rush to her again and kiss her. There were so many things he wanted to do with her right then but he had to reel himself in. They had to figure out what they were, if there was anything there and why the hell he still felt a flutter in his chest when she glanced his way.

“I-I didn’t know you were coming home.” Jack said, finally turning to look at Charlie. She nods.

“I didn’t know you were either.” Charlie says, the tension and awkwardness filling the air. She could still feel the butterflies in her stomach but another feeling was building up. All the anger and sadness she had felt during the past 3 years filled her chest and she made the stupid decision to let it out.

“But of course now would be the time to see you. Just when I was finally to a point where I wasn’t crying myself to sleep over the fact that you never came after me. And why would you have? It was always about you. You never really loved me, not the way I loved you. So you’ve moved on. I mean, aren’t you dating some big Victoria Secrets’ angel? Come back to rub it in my face that you’ve moved on? And I haven’t?” She spat, angry words she didn’t mean spilling out of her mouth. Jack’s face hid his emotions well, his heart shattering into a million pieces inside.

“I-I’m sorry, Char. I should have come after you.” He said, turning away from her and walking back upstairs. Madi and Alex were nowhere to be found upstairs so he left. He thought about texting Trev or Patty to see if they wanted to go get drinks somewhere but the idea of being around people, after what just happened with Charlie, made him sick to his stomach. He had honestly expected a bad reaction the first time he saw Charlie again. But neither of them being prepared for it had made things ten times worse. Charlie had always been opinionated and one of those girls who knew she could take care of herself. He hadn’t figured she would take anything from him, even if she did still love him. He had broken her heart. She had given it to him to take care of and he threw it in the dirt and stomped on it. So she had decided she didn’t need him anymore and wasn’t going to let him hurt her again. All the anger, sadness, hurt, pain and destruction he had felt the last 3 years had been just as hard on her. But the problem was that he wasn’t going to let go of her that easily. Now that he had seen her, he couldn’t get her out of his head. So he turned around. He wasn’t going to be the one to walk away this time. He walked back to the house, bursting in the door. Alex and Madi looked at him, confused looks on their faces. He brushed past them, offering no explanation, and headed back down the basement stairs. Charlie sat on the floor again, arms around her knees, tears streaming down her face.

“No, I don’t want to talk to you or see you ever again. Leave, Jack.” She spat  at him, getting up, attempting to wipe the tears away before he saw, and trying to brush past him. His hand grabbed her wrist, forcing her to stop and look at him.

“Let me explain. Then you can decide if you’re going to hate me for the rest of your life.” He said, his words soft and gentle. Charlie tried to pull her wrist out of his grasp but he was stronger than she was.

“You have about 3 minutes. Start talking.” She said, her anger still obvious in her voice and her eyes filled with heartbreak. Jack nodded, choosing his words carefully in his head before speaking.

“You have to know this first, I loved you 3 years ago and I still love you now. I never stopped. It’s always been you. All those girls? All the drinking? The partying? It was all because I couldn’t have the one thing I really wanted. I used all that stuff to fill a hole. The hole you left inside me when you left. Every move I made on the ice, every Stanley Cup we won, every goal I scored? That was all for you. It’s never been about me, Charlie. It was always you. And maybe it wasn’t meant to be, maybe we aren’t meant to be together but I don’t care. I love you and I’m not letting you walk away from me again.” Jack said, his hand still clenched tightly around Charlie’s wrist. He could see the tears filling her eyes so he did something he had wanted to do for the past 3 years. He pulled her in, and she let him, and he kissed her. She wanted so hard to fight it but she couldn’t. Because she could tell, he wasn’t lying. He loved her. And she knew that every word he had just said was true. She loved him too and there was nothing that was going to change that now. Jack pulled away and watched her, his eyes tracing every inch of her face, the most familiar thing to him. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen her in 3 years. It didn’t matter that they had been apart for so long. Nothing else mattered in the entire world except for the fact that Charlotte Grace Henry loved him back and he loved her more than anything else.

“I guess you love me too, huh? You did kiss me back.” He said, lightly teasing her. She rolled her eyes and kissed him again.

“I love you, Jack Hughes. I never stopped. And I don’t think I ever will. I think that maybe, just maybe, we are meant to be.”

[leafs-lover]

Because Two People Got Drunk: 36

Chapter 36

Series Masterlist

Summary: With the stress of the pregnancy and planning the wedding, you and Fred get away for a couple days.

Warning: Swearing, smut

Word Count: 6500

“Mommy why can’t I come?” Oliver whines.

It’s the all-star break, and you are all in California, Fred’s parents flew out and met you 2 days ago. You had a relaxing day at the beach with them and then yesterday you all ventured to Disney Land. Oliver practically dragged Ernst and Fred around the park on every ride, and the twins spent the entire time taking in the sights and sounds, crying when you tried to get a picture of them with Mickey Mouse.

Now Fred has a two day trip planned for the two of you, leaving the boys with his parents before you all fly back to Pittsburgh. Oliver has been loving the time with everyone the past couple days and doesn’t understand why everyone can’t stay together.

Fred rejoined the Penguins shortly after Christmas and you immediately noticed a shift in Oliver’s behaviour. He had more temper tantrums and some days he cried over the most ridiculous things; one day he cried because his bath was “too wet” and another day because you didn’t let him eat jam. Not with food, just actual jam with a spoon.

You know part of it is him being a toddler, but a big part of it is because he was so used to having Fred around. Once Fred was ready to return the Penguins were leaving on a road trip, so he went from having Fred around every day to not seeing him for eight straight days. And on the second day that was when everything started.

Just as he was readjusting the all-star break came and Oliver re-attached himself to Fred and basically hasn’t let him out of sight. While you fully expected the entire break to be spent with your boys; Fred wanted to spend a couple days away just the two of you. He says you are too stressed with the kids, the pregnancy and planning the wedding and you deserve a couple days away from everything.

“No I’m sorry bud you have to stay with grandma and grandpa for a couple days” you say to your pouting toddler.

“I want to come” he stomps his foot in displeasure. As much as you know you can’t encourage his bad behaviour by smiling or laughing; sometimes it’s hard. And this is one of those times. A small smirk forms on your face as your eyes look away trying to not show him any emotion when you hear Fred’s heavy steps enter the room.

“Ollie mom said no so it means no” he scolds.

Oliver exhales heavily and stomps his feet again. Your eyes find Fred and he just shakes his head at you watching as you hold in some laughter. “Keep it up and you’re going on timeout” Fred says sternly. Oliver huffs in response and walks out of the room and you finally allow a few chuckles to fall from your lips.

“You’re unbelievable” he mumbles putting the last few items in the bag,

“I know but it’s been like this for 3 weeks and sometimes I just can’t take it seriously” you reply and Fred rolls his eyes.

You feel a slight tingling in your core; the assertiveness isn’t something you normally see from Fred. You don’t like that it’s directed towards Oliver’s bad behaviour, but when he uses that tone it gets you wet; and your pregnancy hormones don’t help either.

You take a deep breathe through your nose but as you exhale through your mouth a small moan escapes. Fred stops zipping up the bag to shoot you a questioning glance. His eyes scan over your face “you alright” he questions and you give him a slight nod before he leaves the room.

Pretty soon you and Fred are on the road driving along the coast. Fred left the rental SUV with his parents so they can fit the kids. The two of you have the windows of the car down; the warm California air blowing through your hair. Fred has one hand on the wheel the other glued to your stomach hoping to feel one of the kicks that recently started.

You stare out the window breathing in the salty air, feeling the sun kiss your shoulder. Apart from some minor traffic the drive is relatively smooth. After about two hours you pull up to a beautiful Spanish hotel. It has light coloured stucco on the outside surrounding large pillars and archways; you pull your sunglasses down your nose to scan around the grounds.

There are a few fountains, and a couple small buildings in the distance. Each building is fixed with black clay tiles and there are multiple palm trees surrounding the property. Fred doesn’t stop at the main building, instead continuing down the property road.

You see some beautiful rolling hills in the background from the Los Peñasquitos Canyon. You take in the sights when you see a tee for a golf course. You immediately turn your head to Fred with a smirk and he shifts in his seat chuckling slightly.

“Is this a vacation for us or a golf trip for you” you tease.

“I can’t help it if the best vacation spot in San Diego also has the only championship golf course” he laughs. You shake your head pushing your glasses back over your eyes as he pulls up to another building putting the car in park.

“Don’t worry I didn’t bring my clubs I’m not going to golf” he gets out of the car and walks around to open your door.

“Oh that’s a shame” you take his hand and step out of the car “could have used a couple hours alone.”

Fred gently closes your door and pushes you back against the car. You feel the warm metal on the back of your arms, Fred closing the gap between your bodies. He stares down at you, bringing his hands to either side of you. “I don’t plan on leaving you alone for a minute” he growls. He is so close you can feel his mustache on your ear, his warm breath on your neck sending goosebumps down your spine.

You moan smelling his cologne and he quickly turns away, leaving your knees to almost give out. He grabs the bag and grips your wrist pulling you inside. You expect it to be a building with a couple separate hotel rooms; instead it is a giant foyer with marble stone and a spiral staircase. Fred leaves the bag on the ground and pulls you down the hall.

You walk by a beautiful kitchen but Fred doesn’t let you stop mumbling something about how you won’t be spending any time there. Next is the massive living room with a floor to ceiling fireplace and a large bar that connect to a private terrace that overlooks the golf course and pools. Despite the proximity to the pools your area is secluded, various shrubs protecting your privacy.

There is a longue area with a small hot tub; you stand in awe of your surroundings when Fred’s large hands come up behind you. His hands gently rub over your stomach, Fred leans down his breath on your neck.

“Don’t worry I got them to turn the temp down for you” he mumbles against your jaw. Your neck tilts wrapping his arms tighter around you; leaning back into his chest. “This place is amazing babe” you say feeling his lips on your shoulder. Through his gentle kisses the straps of your dress fall down your skin “you’re amazing” he murmurs against you “let’s go see the rest.”

You pull your strap back up as he tugs you inside and up the stairs. You explore the first two doors each bedroom being large enough to be the master, before Fred opens the beautiful oversized double doors. There is a California King overlooking the deck perfect for watching sunsets. You take a few minutes exploring all the different rooms before returning to find Fred sitting on the end of the bed.

“Babe we don’t need all this” you say hands landing on his shoulder. His find the back of your thighs pushing the hem of your dress up as his thumbs dig into your skin.

It is a three bedroom private house, each room having an ensuite and walk-in closet. The master however has two closets, an office and an attached gym space. While this could be useful for an extended stay with the kids, two nights with just the two of you means most of the space will be unused.

“It’s our babymoon” he shrugs.

“Babymoon?” you ask laughing slightly, pulling his lips onto yours.

“Yeah it’s a vacation before the baby comes” he explains.

“We didn’t do one with the other two pregnancies”

“Well with Ollie I think it’s pretty obvious why we didn’t, but I did take you to Denmark. And with the twins I don’t think you would have lasted in a car that long for us to get away. Although given what happened I wish I had of planned something, maybe things would have been different” he says tailing off for a second. “But I figured since it’s our last pregnancy we should do one. And you just need some time away babe.”

“Okay but do we need all of this? It’s a big space”

“I considered getting a room in the main building” he pulls you closer to his broad shoulders one hand trailing up to your ass “but I didn’t want to get a noise complaint.”

He gives you a firm squeeze eliciting a squeal from you. He falls onto his back pulling you down on top of him. The two of you spend a few hours tangled in bed, clothes haphazardly strewn around the room. Fred switches from his mouth to his fingers to his hard cock, you’ve had so many orgasms you’ve lose count. By the end you don’t know what causes you to pull apart; the soreness of your heat or the rumbling of your stomachs.

**

It’s your last afternoon away and time has flown by. The two of you have taken a few walks around the property, and are now on a hike into the canyon to a small waterfall. Since you are on the resort during off-peak time and haven’t seen anyone since you left for your walk over a half hour ago.

You read about a nearby waterfall and wanted to check it out. Fred was concerned the walk might be too hard, even though you aren’t that pregnant yet but you managed to convince him to do the short hike through the canyon.

About twenty minutes in you could feel the sweat dripping down your back so you were very happy when you rounded the corner and found the pool. Today is abnormally hot day in California, so the refreshingly cool water was nice against your warm skin.

You spent a few minutes wading through the water before finding your way to the waterfall. You tilt your head back running your hands through your hair as the water trails down your body. You glance at Fred from the corner of your eye; his gaze locked on your body. He watches the water roll off your sun kissed skin and over your bump; and you see the fabric of his shorts begin to tent.

“The waterfall is nice” you smile walking over to him.

“Looked like it” he smirks as your hands wrap around his tanned neck.

“I brought you here because you told me the view is spectacular” he says pressing his hands into your back. “You have spent the entire time looking at me.”

“My view is very nice” you smirk up at him. His once golden brown eyes are pooling with lust as he closes the gap; pulling your lips to his. Your tongues danced in the others mouth for who know how long. Not only does his skin have the glow of the sun he tastes like it too.

The kiss starts slow and passionate but quickly turns into a fight for dominance, tongues against one another, teeth slightly clashing. Every time one of you pulls away to catch your breath the others lips would quickly find them. Your lips are swollen, your chap stick smeared on his, you can taste the sweat that has pooled on his upper lip. His fingers begin to slowly trail down your warm skin, slipping under your bikini bottoms.

A light breeze rustles the leaves of the trees; the waterfall gently crashes into the water around you. That alone is enough to take your breath away, but instead the man in front of you keeps stealing it. He spins you around; your hands landing on one of the large granite boulders surrounding the waterfall.

His knee gently spreads your legs apart, one of his large hands slinking down the front of your bathing suit. It reaches your core, gently stroking over it.

You whimper at the contact. Partially because of how much you want him, the other part because of how sensitive you are. His tongue grazes along the skin of your neck; biting and sucking love marks.

A shiver dances down your spine while his hands trail over your waist. Growling, he presses his clothed member into your back. He begins to push your bathing suit down your legs when you hear some voices coming up the trail.

You hear some Danish fall from his lips as he pulls your bathing suit back up your body “If we had of stayed in our room nobody would have interrupted us” he groans pulling himself out of the water.

“Yeah but we wouldn’t have seen the waterfall in our room” you tease taking his hand. He helps you out with ease, carefully guiding you away from the slick surface.

“You barely looked at the waterfall. You practically mauled me once we got here” he laughs handing you your clothes. You scoff in response, but you know it’s true. Your mouth clamps shut while a devilish grin spreads across his face.

“It’s the hormones” you mumble pulling your dress up your body. You hear the other group’s voices getting louder as they approach the waterfall.

“I don’t care what it is I like it” he gently lifts your chin and presses a soft kiss to your lips. You hear the sound of a camera shutter and pull away, seeing Fred captured a picture with the waterfall in the background.

“Figured we should get one picture together people like to see vacation pictures” he gently kisses your temple. “I mean the ones I took last night cannot be shared.”

Your eyes go wide and heat reaches your cheeks, but a smile crosses your face. He pulls you into his chest, hiding your embarrassment in his shirt. “Should let me take more pictures, maybe a video…be useful on the road.”

“Frederik” you scold as the group walks by; they are too engaged in their own conversation to hear you.

“Definitely say that in the video” he smirks.

Before you have a chance to respond he gives you a soft smack on the ass and walks away. You stand stunned for a few seconds before catching up to him, his arm wrapping over your shoulder while you begin the short hike back.

“What should I wear tonight?” you ask standing in your bathrobe. You just washed off the sunscreen and sweat from your body and are preparing for your final dinner tonight. You are leaning against the door frame brushing your teeth while Fred grips his shirt.

You watch as the fabric moist with sweat is clinging to his body. He pulls it up revealing his stomach followed by his chest. Your eyes however don’t follow the trail of exposed skin, instead they linger an inch above his hiking shorts that are hanging a little too low, waiting to be dropped.

“(Y/N)” he snaps his fingers and your eyes meet his. He has a smirk on his face but ignores what you are doing. “I said we’re ordering room service and staying in so wear whatever.”

“Okay” you smile.

You hear the sound of his shorts hitting the floor and you stop listening; your eyes following the sound. You stare over his body, your eyes flutter closed as his boxers land on the floor. When you finally open them you see Fred’s ass as he walks towards the shower. You aren’t sure if it’s the steam from the shower or your core being ignited by his naked body, but you feel your hands get clammy and your entire body gets hot.

“Hey babe” you moan wrapping your arms around Fred; your face is pressed into his back breathing in his cologne and body wash, your hand resting low on his stomach. He adjusts to pull you in front of him placing a soft kiss on your head.

“Hey beautiful” he mumbles against your skin. You shake your head slightly rolling your eyes but before you can say anything his lips find yours. You are wearing a pair of sweat shorts and a loose t-shirt; no make-up and after drying your hair you pulled it into a messy bun on top of your head. Fred must have sensed your energy level, because he is wearing a simple grey t-shirt with some loose track pants.

“Dinner’s here” he says leading you out to the back deck. He takes you to the table placing a fleece blanket over your lap. While the temperature during the day gets pretty warm; at night it can get fairly cool. Fred knowing you get cold pretty easily is always one step ahead, doing anything he can to keep you comfortable.

He sets a plate in front of you, pulling off the lid to reveal your favourite meal, one you haven’t had in ages. It can take a bit of time to prepare and with three young children you haven’t had the time.

“How did you manage this? It’s not on the room service menu” you say. Fred’s hand gently rubs your back “I have my ways” he responds.

You fall into easy conversation; you try to bring up the wedding but Fred immediately shuts down your attempts telling you this trip is supposed to help you forget about all that stress. But planning a wedding in a foreign country has proven difficult; especially with the language barrier.

While you speak some Danish, you struggle when people speak too fast for you to process what they are saying. And the planner speaks some English but there are definitely some gaps between the two of you. Charlotte has been helping meeting with the planner on occasion and some of the vendors to help give you a better idea of how things will look.

But she showed up with a list of topics, pictures and videos of place settings and décor ideas the planner has been working on. She hoped the videos would help you visualize how everything will appear on your wedding day; but it also meant an extensive list of items to tackle in a short period of time.

A part of you wishes you took Fred’s offer to postpone the wedding until the following summer; or to do it in North America. But you know everything will fall into place and be worth it in the end.

Fred finishes his dinner first, pulling the white cotton napkin up to his lips. He gently runs the fabric through his fingers, you watch as the fabric dances through his digits. You get lost watching him fold the fabric and drop it on his lap. As his fingers dip out of view you wish it was your folds his fingers would be dipping inside of.

Fred puts his plate back on the tray and stares out at the golf course watching the sun begin to disappear out of view. The wind from earlier has died down, the only sound is the occasional bird and the faint sprinklers running in the distance. You finish your dinner; the sound of your cutlery on the plate catches Fred’s attention.

“You like your dinner” he asks turning his head to yours.

“It was amazing” you respond as he takes your plate setting it on the tray. He grabs two other plates bringing them over, and pulling the lid off to reveal a small white cake and another that has larger chocolate cake, that is more than enough for the two of you.

“I think one cake is enough” you laugh. While you have had some cravings you haven’t been craving many sweets; let alone two cakes. He sets the knife and two plates on the table and sits down. He taps on his leg, indicating for you to join. You sit on his lap pulling the blanket over yourself your legs.

“This one” he runs his finger through the chocolate icing and brings it to your mouth. You open your mouth and he slips his finger in. Your mouth closes around him; your tongue licks up the side cleaning the icing off. A light moan leaves your lips your eyes staying locked on his. He pulls it out with a grin “is just a normal chocolate cake.”

His index finger reaches over to gather some of the icing from the other cake. “And this one” he brings it to your mouth again. Your smile and open your mouth again; bringing your tongue out to lick the icing off. You almost see Fred shudder under you, a groan leaving him when your lips wrap around his finger.

“This one” he repeats through a shaky exhale “is a special cake.” He slowly pulls his finger from you and you quirk and eye brow at him.

“See at that ultrasound a few days ago the doctor determined the gender. I called and got them to send the results to the hotel and this cake can tell us what’s going on in here” his hand rubs over your stomach. Your head falls back with a groan and you laugh lightly. While you have found out during the last two pregnancies a part of you doesn’t want to find out for this one.

“We don’t have to, that’s why I got the second cake. We can not eat the vanilla one, leave it and not find out” he says. “Instead of a crazy party I thought maybe we could go simple, like with Ollie.”

You smile remembering Canada Day almost four years ago, showing up at his apartment with a little white box. You were worried with the humid Toronto air the icing might melt off and you had no idea if he wanted to know the gender, and in all honestly you barely remember the actual eating of the cupcake. You remember the excitement finding out you were going to have a son, and what happened after.

“I thought maybe this one could be a surprise.”

“A surprise” his body shakes with laughter. “You want a surprise? You who plans every detail wants this to be a surprise? You plan our dinners out the week before.”

You laugh slightly and curl up more into his lap, your hand falling onto his chest. “I mean we have three kids, and we know this one will grow out of clothes before it has a chance to wear them all. Apart from picking a name why does it matter to find out? And we can pick two names.”

You stare into his dark brown eyes, glistening under the light of the moon. He brings his lips to yours, his mustache tickling your upper lip, his hand tangling in your hair. His tongue slips inside your mouth, moaning as your tongue does to his what it did his finger. Your tongues swirl in each other’s mouths; your hands gently raking through his beard.

He pulls away; sucking on your lower lip. He grins at you “we don’t have to find out babe.” He leans forward putting the lid back on the one cake “that’s why I got two.”

“Do you want to find out?” you ask with a sigh because if he is committed to the idea you would do it for him.

“Like you said it doesn’t really matter and even if we pick out a name we’ll probably change it. Ollie didn’t have a name for an entire day”

“That’s not what I asked” you respond.

“We both have to be 100% because there is no going back. So if you aren’t 100% sure we won’t.”

He grabs a fork and dives into the cake, not even bothering to cut a piece. He brings it to your mouth your lips closing around it. He slowly pulls the fork out eyes never leaving yours as he grabs another bite, this time for himself.

You continue to sit on his lap while he feeds you cake. Every two or three bites you get he gives one to himself. After eating more than a third of the cake Fred sets the fork down. He wipes away some icing that is clinging to the edge of your lip, sucking it off his thumb.

Without saying anything you pull yourself from his lap and put the plates of cake back on the tray. You begin to make your way inside. Looking over your shoulder with a smirk you see Fred following behind you, setting the tray on the kitchen table. You continue to walk down the hall barely making it a few feet when catches up to you.

He quickly picks you up, eliciting a squeal from you. Your arms wrap around his neck while carried you bridal style up the stairs. Your mouth finds his neck and begins to suck a few centimetres from his ear. You hear a soft groan as you shift slightly get closer and suck harder.

“Baby” he groans but you don’t let up, teeth grazing along his skin. “(Y/N) we have to see my mom tomorrow you really want to do that in such an obvious spot?”

You pull your head away eyes narrowing as you smirk at him. He places you on the bed and pulls his shirt off revealing his toned chest. Your eyes go wide and you take a gulp taking in his body, a sight you have yet to get used to.

The bed dips and Fred’s mouth finds your neck his hand pushing the fabric up your stomach grazing over your bump. His teeth find your ear lobe as your back arches; your head falling onto the pillow.

A light moan leaves your lips; Fred’s mouth only leaves momentarily to pull your shirt over your head. He groans when he sees you aren’t wearing a bra, before long Fred’s mouth is back on you. He mumbles praises in between kissing your breast; you are so caught up in your pleasure you can barely focus on his voice. His hand finds your other one and begins to roll your nipple through his calloused fingers.

“You look so beautiful” he gently places some soft kisses on your stomach. Your back arches and your breathing increases, trying to focus on Fred’s voice. His mouth trails up your body gently sucking on your collarbone “so beautiful with my baby in your belly.”

“Fred” you croak. You feel him smile against your skin but he just presses his mouth in harder to your shoulder sucking a spot against your skin. His entire hand cups your breast beginning to massage it; your neck tilting to allow him more access.

“You’re gonna look so good with my dick in you soon” he mumbles in your ear.

“Fred” you groan finding the strength to push his shoulders “yeah baby” he smirks his head popping up.

“Remember years ago when we found out we were having a boy with Ollie” you ask getting your breath back.

“Mhm” he responds. He lifts higher to look down into your eyes, his brown eyes glazed with arousal staring down at you as his hand running through your hair.

“Remember how after you took me back to your room”

“Mhm” he hums. You pull his face closer, lips hovering an inch from yours. His chain dangles down hitting your chin his warm breath blowing on you.

“Remember when…”

“I pinned you against the door” he smirks bringing his mouth back to your neck

“Yeah…” you trail off. “I was thinking after that.”

“When I fucked your throat” he purrs against your skin.

“Before that” you groan “you tied me up and…blindfolded me.”

You feel his mouth curl up against your neck, his dick twitching against your hip. Mumbled curse words spill from his neck; as he slowly rises from the bed. He walks over to the dresser and begins rummaging through the drawers; you quickly pull your shorts down your legs throwing them into the growing pile of discarded clothes.

Fred walks out of the closet and seeing you naked splayed on the bed for him he quickly shimmies out of his pants. A gasp leaves you as his hard cock slaps against his stomach. In a few long strides Fred is straddling your chest, while he pulls your hands above your head.

Cool leather rubs against your wrists, as he fastens them to the headboard. After he tightens the belt you give your wrists a tug; Fred grins looking at his work.

You feel your mouth water knowing his hard cock is centimetres from your lips oozing with precum. You lick your lips and raise your head attempting to take him in. The last thing you see is Fred’s grin before the silk tie is wrapped around your eyes.

“You good elskede?” he asks.

“Yes” you hiss in response. The anticipation has your heat inflamed and dripping but Fred takes his time. He begins to slowly shift down the bed, leaving warm open mouth kisses on your body. You clench your thighs in search of friction and swear you hear him mumbling against your skin.

The weight around you shifts while he trails down your body, soon your legs are hooked over Fred’s shoulders. He blows on your folds sending a shiver coursing through your body. His tongue gently licks up your folds as you squirm under him.

“You taste so good” he mumbles his beard rubbing on the inside of your legs. One of his hands grip your thighs, nails digging into them as the other attaches to your clit. His thumb presses soft circles into your clit as his tongue flicks into your pussy. Two fingers slip inside you and scissor you open slowly thrusting inside you.

“Fuck” you gasp as his long fingers pump in and out of your folds. You try to reach down to grip his red locks but instead the leather snaps your wrists back down causing you to groan.

“You wanted to be tied up babygirl” he chuckles softly sucking on the inside of your thigh. His fingers increase in speed, his thumb pressing harder into your bundle of nerves.

Your moans turn to whimpers as your orgasm begins to approach. Fred sensing you’re getting close and replaces his thumb with his mouth, sucking hard. His fingers hit deep and hard with each thrust while your legs tighten around his head.

You roll your hips, pressing your clit into his mouth. Fred groans into your pussy, his lips vibrating against your core. Fred continues his pace; sucking on your clit. Deep groans and slews of curse words are filling the room. You are thankful Fred got you a private house; any neighbours would for sure file a noise complaint due to the sounds you are making.

Again you try to move your arms and the belt snaps pulling you back down to the mattress. You feel your orgasm rip through you, Fred working you through it. His fingers pump in and out of your walls groaning as your warm cum spills down his fingers. You bite your bottom lip drawing blood, your breath temporarily getting caught in your chest.

His fingers slow as your orgasm tapers off before finally pulling them out of you. His tongue gently finds your folds, lapping up your juices. Finally his mouth pulls away and he sets your legs down crawling up your body.

“You okay?” he mumbles into your neck. You can feel his hard member poking at your entrance and you nod in response.

“Need words elskede” his member gently stroking over your folds coating itself in your juice.

“Yes” you pant out “so good.”

Your hips arch up trying to get some more contact but Fred pulls away slightly with a deep seeded chuckle. “Blindfold okay? Want your hands undone?” he asks.

You smile slightly, even though you can’t see his face you can feel the concern and love radiating from his voice. “I’m good babe, promise.”

That’s all Fred needs to hear. Gentle, but intentional; he slides in, agonizingly slow. He pulls back painfully slow and your legs wrap around his back. Your warm heat welcomes him, pulling further inside. You feel one of his large hands reach the back of your thigh lifting your ass to give him a deeper angle.

“More” you groan after a few slow thrusts. Fred chuckles and snaps his hips increasing his speed. His hands roam up the underside of your thigh and give your ass a firm squeeze. His mouth dips down kissing the space between your breasts. Your back arches in response, his beard tickling your chest.

Fred hits your cervix with every thrust at a feverish pace. His large hand rubs over your stomach before finding your breast, engulfing the whole thing with his hand. He pinches your nipple and you roll your hips up on him.

You try to move your hands once more groaning with the restrictions. You make a fist, nails digging into your palms; likely leaving crescent shaped marks. His hand drags lightly up your skin before finding your neck. His thumb strokes over your skin a few times, lightly gripping you.

“Fre…eddd…ie” you moan punctuated by every one of his thrusts, the headboard rattling against the wall.

You can feel the familiar bubbling deep in your core, your second orgasm of the night developing. You feel him stutter chasing his own release. His hand around your neck begins to tighten; your airway being restricted.

You feel beads of sweat land on your chest as curse words fall from his lips. His hand tightens and he gives you a few more deep thrusts before your orgasm washes over you. Your walls clench around him, legs tightening around his back as your heels dig into his back,

Fred works you through your high as you scream his name. You feel Fred’s dick twitch and he spills deep inside of you with a loud groan. Warm ribbons coats your walls white and Fred collapses on top of you He releases your throat and you take a few gasps, your lungs refilling with oxygen.

His head lands in the crook of your neck and you feel his chest heaving as he catches his breath. You both lie in post orgasmic bliss, Fred murmuring incoherent praises against your shoulder.

After a few minutes you feel Fred tug on the end of his tie, releasing it from your face. You blink a few times your eyes adjusting to the light. Fred reaches above you and undoes the belt, the buckle clanging as he throws it on the wood floor.

“Hey” Fred whispers.

“Hi” you smile.

“That okay?” he asks pulling your hands down; gently rubbing over the red marks on your wrists where some bruises will likely be tomorrow.

You hum in response, Fred’s lips gently press against yours. He slowly pulls out; some of his cum leaking down your thighs as you groan from the emptiness. He crawls off the bed and you roll over grabbing your water from the bedside table.

Fred returns with some clothes setting them on the bed beside you as he brings a damp towel to your folds. You whimper at the contact while he gently wipes you up and throws the towel on the floor. He pulls a clean pair of boxers up his broad thighs and a t-shirt over your shoulders.

A large yawn falls from your lips and Fred helps you under the duvet and you curl up beside him. His hand lands on your stomach his thumb rubbing soft circles as you quickly fall asleep.

The next morning you crawl into back into bed, Fred still asleep. You prop the pillows against the headboard and sit upright looking over to the man beside you. He is lying on his stomach arms stretched under his pillows. Messy red locks have fallen into his eyes and are splayed over the pillow.

You bring the steaming mug up to your lips, lemon and honey filling the air. You take a few sips before setting the cup down bringing over the plate. You take a mouthful of food and the sound of your fork hitting the plate causes Fred to stir.

“Morning” you say softly brushing his hair back.

“Morning” he says through a raspy voice, eyes fluttering open.

“Are you eating cake?” he mumbles and you just laugh in response bringing another bite to your lips.

“You can’t eat cake for breakfast” he scolds.

“Says who; I’m an adult” you retort eating another bite.

He shakes his head and crawls up beside you. You set the fork down and brush a few stray hairs away from his eyes. Fred turns his attention to your stomach, talking to your growing bump as his hand soothes over it. You set the plate on the bedside table and grab your mug. You close your eyes, running your hands through his hair listening to his calming voice.

“Babe, why are both the cakes here?” he asks.

“I was thinking maybe we could find out” you say and Fred crawls up your body slightly.

“Yeah?” he asks. You nod in response and are immediately met by a soft kiss. You reach over and grab the vanilla cake but before you can dig in Fred stops you.

“So this cake is a little different” he explains. “I know you hate the colours that go along with the gender stereotypes. So instead of pink and blue there is banana for a boy or grape for a girl.”

“So the cake is flavoured?” you ask.

“No cake is vanilla but the icing inside is flavoured to match one of the fruits” he says.

“And why banana and grape?” you ask.

“Well banana starts with B like boy and grape starts with”

“G” you cut him off.

Fred grabs the second fork “ready” he raises his eyebrow at you “close your eyes.”

You give him a sideways glance “they told me the flavours are better when faint. That they can become overpowering, so they also recommended dying the icing” he explains. “But let’s see if we can tell from the taste first.”

“Okay” you say closing your eyes “ready.”

Next Chapter

[bitoffairydust]

Yesterday we came home from the hospital as a family of three.

Things haven’t been super smooth sailing, nor did I expect them to be, but our little one is doing well and I’m healing fine so that’s really all we could ask for.

Wednesday was a bit of a whirlwind. I was scheduled to go into the hospital for my induction at 5, so we spent the morning doing a bit of last minute clean up around the place. Then around 12, someone from L&D called and said if we were available to come in earlier, we could just show up whenever. We still had a few things to finish up so we had lunch, I took a shower while my wife did the dishes, then she took a shower and got the cats set up for a few days home alone before we called an Uber to head to the hospital.

We got there around 3:30-4 so not super early but they got us into the delivery rooms right away and someone came over to go over a few questions (medical stuff and what I was hoping for with the birth). I got hooked up to the contraction and fetal heartbeat monitors, they got my IV line in, and then we went over the induction options for me. Based on my last check up, I was about 1.5 cm dilated, so before anything else they had to get me to about 3 cm, which they offered to do with either the foley balloon or misoprostol. Then the plan was to start me on oxytocin to get contractions going. I requested the miso, cause I figured there would be enough things going in and out of my vagina for the evening without an additional thing thrown in there 😅

It actually took a little while for the induction to start because as it turns out, three people (myself included) showed up for their induction within 5 minutes of each other and I was the last so it was closer to 7 before the resident came to examine me. In doing so they found I had actually progressed to 3 cm on my own since my last appointment so they were able to just get me started up on oxytocin.

Contractions started up pretty much instantly but they were very manageable. I’d say just from the oxy progression, the worst contraction I got was maybe a 5 on the scale from 1 to 10. Then they ran through the dosage and did another exam to see where I was at. They didn’t give an exact number then but I think it was somewhere between 4 and 5 cm. Before starting me up on another dosage of oxytocin, they went ahead and tried to break my water as it hadn’t yet. They didn’t actually manage to fully get it, and honestly, at that point, them trying to get it to break was actually more painful than the contractions I’d experienced that far.

That changed pretty fast once they established they’d gotten enough of the membranes for the time being. I’m fuzzy on the timeline but I think it must have been close to 10 at that point, and the pain level climbed very quickly along with contraction intensity and frequency. I tried to bounce on a ball for a bit and the nurse showed my wife some pressure points to try and help with the pain but it did nothing. Around 10:30 I requested the epidural, which was unfortunate timing on my part as the anesthesiologist had just gone in to assist with a c-section. By the time she was out and got to my room it was about 11:30 and pain was an easy 10 on the scale with contractions maybe a minute and a half apart.

The epidural itself went in pretty smoothly but at first there wasn’t much to be said for relief. Since they mentioned it could take 15 minutes to really be felt I didn’t think much of it, and I did feel like things were getting a bit better as minutes passed. The last contraction I was asked about felt more back down to a 5 on the pain scale so the anesthesiologist left. Unfortunately, that 5 turned out to be a fluke because pain shot back up pretty quickly and I was soon at a 10 again, no matter the dosage boosts.

That part was quite honestly the worst of it all, having expected some sort of relief and finding it to be just as worse as before. To make it worse, baby was not handling those contractions well. His heart beat would drop with the start of each contraction, though it picked up before the end of them so though they wanted to keep an eye on it it wasn’t cause for intervention yet. The nurse monitored his heart rate with me laying flat on my back, on my right side, on my left side and then sitting straight up. The latter was the slightly better option for him, but definitely did nothing to help my pain management. She did get me back on my back to try and relieve me a bit since the difference to the effect on baby wasn’t huge but at that point contractions were relentless. I was dealing with back labor contractions, which were maybe a minute apart, and because they suspected the placenta had detached a bit when they tried to break my water, when a contraction would subside, the pain in my abdomen would become more prominent and almost to the same level. It made it feel like I was contracting non stop with no break for catching my breath or trying to recuperate.

Around 2 in the morning there were a few people in the room examining me and trying to figure out the best course of action. A C-section being needed started being mentioned if things didn’t improve, but I was at a little more than 9 cm by then. The OB and the anesthesiologist had a talk outside the room and decided to re-do my epidural as it had clearly failed (they did an ice test and it was clear I wasn’t frozen anywhere at all), and if I were to end up needing a c-section, I’d have to have it redone anyway.

She took two tries to get everything situated in my back. That second try did the trick. I don’t think I can even describe the amount of relief when my foot started feeling warm and then going numb, and within maybe 5 minutes it was amazingly painless. They did another ice test and this time I felt no cold at all anywhere, and when the nurse pointed out I’d just had a contraction it cemented it because I’d not felt it at all. The only thing I could feel at that point was a bit of abdominal pressure every now and then. And I will say, I did have a great team with me. Everyone was very empathetic and trying their best to get me to feel some form of relief before the second epidural. And they seemed almost as relieved as me when that last one finally worked - especially because after that baby’s heart stabilized.

By the time the epidural was done, even though they figured I had likely progressed to 10 cm, they elected to let me rest for a bit, and give baby a chance to keep making his way down, so I got to catch a breather until about 4 am. Then they told me it was time to try and start pushing, with the nurse guiding me since I still couldn’t feel any sort of contraction. I pushed through maybe four or five contractions without huge progress, and the OB came in to assess and established baby needed a bit of help coming out. They set up the forceps and had me push through another couple of contractions, but they were pretty week and hard to catch even for the nurse by then, and baby’s heart rate was starting to struggle again. So they got on the phone to get a room prepped for c-section, and the doctor told me I would get to push through one last contraction, but if nothing happened we’d have to go into surgery.

The nurse tried to wait for a good one (she had already reupped the oxytocin drip at that point) and by some miracle, the next push for his head half out and with the second one it was completely out. The rest of his body followed quickly and before I had even caught up with it all, I had his tiny little body on me.

Even though they’d brought someone in from the NICU just to be safe, he ended up being perfectly okay. I needed a bit more attention because I had more bleeding than normal, and I had to have 4 stitches and another IV line put in to help with the blood loss. Then we stayed in the delivery room until about 6 at which point we were brought over to our postpartum room.

Since then nursing has undoubtedly been the biggest challenge. He did have a tongue tie, but he struggled from the get go. He would latch well but lose it and then get frustrated and cry. He also is a very lazy eater - I’d spend easily 30-45 minutes per side trying to get him to stay aware long enough to take in maybe 15 minutes of proper feeding, but he’d start smacking his lips practically the moment he was done, and he’d wake up hungry again within the hour.

Unfortunately there was no lactation consultant on staff as she was on vacation this week. People commented time and time again about how I had no supply issue, and his latch (when he was latched) was good, but it didn’t seem to help. I also felt I kept getting conflicting information as one moment he’d have crystals in his urine to indicate potential dehydration, and the next they’d be telling me he had barely loss any of his birth weight and was perfectly on target for that.

We did decide to get his tongue tie cut as it seemed to really be frustrating him at feeds and make it harder for my breast to properly fit into his mouth. The feed that followed the cut was easily the best we’ve had to date, but unfortunately it went downhill from there. After we got home and I tried to feed him last night, he did fine on the right side but then only lasted 10 minutes on the left and then lost it, started to scream and wouldn’t latch again. I haven’t been able to make him latch on the left side since, and I only managed to get him latched to the right a couple more times before we ran in the same problem, so we had to go ahead and start giving him bottles. I’ll be trying to work through it with a lactation consultant as soon as possible, and I’ve now started pumping, but in the meantime, him being properly fed was the biggest thing.

He does also have a small fracture on his right clavicle, likely from the forceps, but the pediatrician said that will resolve on its own within the week. In the meantime we just have to be very cautious how we move his right arm, and she prescribed him Tylenol if need be.

In the meantime we’re just trying to settle down to our new sleep deprived routine. But then looking into all the sweet, funny faces he makes both when asleep and awake makes it feel pretty worth it.

- Marie

[cocochannel00]

Divorce Papers

Sometimes it can all get a little too much being the wife of Harry Styles... 

Kids: Connor (2), Rebecca/Becca (1)

You couldn't lie to yourself anymore. Harry had been touring for the last 5 month and you were at home with two kids under the age of 3. He rarely called, barley visited home, and was always being photographed and big glitzy parties with a bunch of supermodels. At first, you didn't worry, you and Harry were married after all so there really was no worry, but as time went by you became more and more anxious about the situation. His calls went from daily to once a week at most. At first, you thought it was just the jet lag or the time zones that made it difficult but after hearing from him once in a matter of weeks and being forced to text Jeff to get updates on your husband’s whereabouts, you there was a problem.

You understood it was his job to go tour across the world wherever they sent him but you also knew that Harry was responsible for being a father to your children and that was one thing he was not fulfilling. It was always hard to raise toddlers so close in age but when you have to raise them alone because your husband is MIA, the situation could only get worse from there. Luckily Connor always slept through the night, but Becca would start screaming every few hours with no one to help you, it was starting to take a toll on you. Gemma, Harry's sister, tried to make up for her brother’s absence but it wasn't the same.

You were starting to think your marriage was crumbling. Your friends always said it was going to be hard as marrying a celebrity always came with a high price but you had always believed that love conquers all, although this idea was starting to slip away. You had spent the last 5 months thinking strongly on how to fix this problem but you soon realized that Harry had put in zero effort and went on as if nothing was wrong. This always led to the question, Is it even worth fixing at this point? You didn't know but you would soon find out.

After waking up to your alarm clock going off at 8:00 a.m. you rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up an pee. Becca had just begun teething and you were nearly at your wits end having to cuddle her to bed every 2 hours. You manage to avoid waking her up as you crept downstairs to make yourself some breakfast peacefully before Gemma came over to spend the day with you and your kids. You started brewing some coffee as you desperately tried to keep your eyes open. Putting some bread in the toaster you sat at your island in silence, contemplating moving whether to move at all from that spot all day. As you sat there you suddenly heard feet hitting the floor upstairs as your son slowly made his way down the stair.

"Connor, what are you doing up buddy?" You asked as you picked him up in your arms, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"breakfast mama," he said in his broken English as he pointed at his high chair.

"Ok buddy let's get you something to eat," you said as you grabbed a box of Cheerios and some milk, pouring it all into a bowl. Your doorbell rang just as you finished finding him a spoon and placing a bib around his neck.

Slowly you walk over to the door revealing Gemma standing there with a bag of pastries and chocolate donut (Connor’s favorite).

"Well you look like shit," she said as she walked past you. You rolled your eyes and followed her, closing the door on the way in.

She removed the bowl of cheerios from his table and placed the donut down in-front of Connor as he clapped happily.

Gemma placed a kiss on his forehead before turning around to look at you, "still no call?" She asked quietly. 

That had been the million-dollar question for the past two and a half weeks. No call, no text, no word from Harry. You heard nothing about how the tour was going or when he would have his next break. He had essentially cut off all communications and it was ruining you slowly.

You shook your head looking away, trying not to cry about Harry's lack of presence. Gemma swore under her breath and came up to you, giving you a tight hug.

"(Y/n) I know how bad this is and I know how much you love Harry but you can't keep going like this. You've reached your breaking point and this has become an unhealthy relationship. I love my brother with all my heart and I don’t know why he’s doing this but as your friend, I can’t see you like this"

She was right. You had lost at least 10 pounds from the stress and anxiety that Harry was causing you and you knew it needed to come to an end.

"I know but I don't know what to do. I love him, but I can't reach him. I'm basically losing my mind and I don't know how to stop it all" you stated.

She stayed quiet for a minute before quietly asking, "have you thought about a divorce at all?"

In truth you had a couple of times before when it was three in the morning and Becca would scream out for her daddy and you knew there was nothing you could do, but it always felt too extreme.

"Yeah it's crossed my mind a couple times...... but I could never do it I don't think. I love him so much and I can't be alone again, I really can't." You whispered as your eyes began to gloss over.

Gemma wrapped her arms around you tightly. "Shhh, it's going to be ok. Tell you what why don't you come with the kids to my house for a bit and stay there so you’re not alone. I can talk to Michal and see if his friend John can draft up some divorce papers with you... nothing to sign but just to see what it would entail. Did you guys sign a prenup at all? " she asked as you wipe your tears with the edge of your sleeves.

You shook your head, “No, I offered to sign one for him but he refused. Regardless, I don’t want his money, that’s not why I married him”

“I know love, I know. It complicates the situation a bit but nothing that can’t be dealt with later. Besides, you know Harry is going to give you at least half of his earnings if not more regardless of if you want it. He worries about you.” Gemma adds.

“I wish he would at least talk to me if he’s so worried” you mumbled as you heard cries come from the baby monitor sitting on the kitchen counter.

“Let’s take it one step at a time. I’ll call Michal and why don’t you go get Becca” Gemma stated as you went over to wipe the chocolate off of Connor's giddy face as you made your way up the stairs. 

You slowly entered Becca’s room and greeted her with a soft ‘good morning’ as you reached her arms out to you from her crib. You smiled at your baby girl who had seemed to have woken up in a better mood than yesterday. You battle with Becca down the stairs as she attempts to take off your shirt by swatting at your boob (a sign that she’s hungry). 

"Connor says he wants to have a sleepover with me so it has been decided that you’re all staying over at my house” Gemma cheered as Connor giggled in her arms. 

“Gemma, really it’s ok. I don’t want to burden you or Michal” you replied

"Nonsense! Michal loves having these little gremlins and you around. I’ll take Connor up with me and we’ll start packing a bag for him while you feed Rebecca. We have the crib from when Michal’s godson stayed with us a couple of weeks ago so we can move that into the guestroom for you. I'll go call Michal and tell him to come help and we'll be ready in no time!" she said began to make her way upstairs.

"Ok, thanks Gem” you replied as you sat down on the couch with your fussy baby, getting ready to feed her. 

                     ------------------------------------------------------------------

*6 hours later*

After changing Becca and double-checking that you had your purse, you and Gemma got into your car and made the 20-minute drive to Gemma and Michal’s house. Michal being the angel that he is had offered to bring all the bags in his car and drive them over. By the time you got to their house, all your bags were set up in the guest room and the crib Rebecca would be sleeping in was set up in the corner of the room. 

After you had all settled in, Gemma took Connor outside to play in the sprinkler while Becca took a nap upstairs. You sat in the living room with Michal as he began to explain the papers his friend had drafted for you. 

"I'm not gonna lie, this is going to be a long process that will bring out the worst in both of you. Custody will be a major part as well as splitting of assets and money."

You shook your head "I don't want any money. I didn't marry him for money so I'm not going to divorce him for any" you stated

He nodded as he began correcting the forms and continued to explain the legal process as well as the custody procedures. After almost two hours of staring at twenty pages of legal papers, you were finally starting to understanding it all (sort of). Rebecca had woken up ten minutes ago and was now sitting on your lap moving her head every time her name was mentioned. Gemma had brought Connor inside and helped him take a bath and they were watching a movie in her room as you and Michal finished up. You were going over the final details when the doorbell rang. Gemma got up from the couch and went to open it when you suddenly heard some shouting and a pair of rough footsteps heading towards the living room.

You looked up to see none other the Harry who looked both worried and furious at the same time.

"I came home expecting to see my children and wife but I come home to an empty house and a note saying you were gone" he shouted as you sat there in shock, seeing your husband for the first time in months. 

Rebecca whined softly as she became irritated from the loud boom of Harry's voice. Michal quickly stood and rested his hand on your shoulder signaling that he would take Becca upstairs so we could talk. You carefully passed Rebecca off to Michal as Connor came barreling towards Harry. 

“Dada Dada” Connor shouted as his chubby body knocked right into Harry’s legs. 

“Hi baby, I’ve missed you” he replied as he picked up Connor in his arms and showered him with kisses. 

“You should be ashamed of yourself Harry Edward Styles. If mom were here right now she’d have an absolute fit at your behavior. You’re so lucky (Y/n) won’t let me tell her because she would have flown out to whoop your ass. Come on Connor want to go watch the wiggles upstairs” Gemma stated as she grabs Connor from Harry’s arms. 

“wiggles wiggles” Connor cheered as Gemma and Michal carried your kids upstairs.

“If you so much as yell at her Harry I will murder you” Gemma yelled from the top of the stairs. 

Once they were gone you slowly got up from the couch and cleaned up all the papers scattered around the coffee table. As you began placing them in a folder Harry snatched them and began reading through them.

"Divorce papers? Are you serious? I've been gone for my job, a job I have to support you and the kids, and you want to divorce me for it?" He questioned as his anger started to bubble up.

You sighed, "that's not the reason Harry and you know it. It was just an idea Gemma had mentioned so I was looking into it. Besides, I would be divorcing you for neglecting not only me but our family for the last 5 months. Harry, I love you but this isn’t right"

"I had to work (Y/n), what part of that did you not understand?" he shouted as he dropped the papers on the floor. 

"The part where you stop calling your family for months and spend your spare time on yachts with supermodels instead of coming to see your children. I shouldn’t have to ask your manager how you’re doing, you should be telling me" you yell back

He chuckles angrily, "Is that what this is about, you think I cheated? I didn't, but if that’s what you want I'll get right on it? Would that solve your problems?" He replied sarcastically.

Your eyes began to water at the idea Harry described and you pressed your fingers to your eyes as to prevent yourself from crying in front of him. " Harry I love you but if that's how you truly feel then maybe we shouldn't have gotten married in the first place" you stated

"Maybe you're right" he stated as he turns around and stomps towards the kitchen. You let out a shaky breath as you watch him leave. This was not the way you thought your day was going to turn out. 

You began picking up the divorce papers as you hear a cry come from upstairs. Carefully you wipe the tears from your eyes and started to make your way up to go get Becca. You walked into the master bedroom to find Connor fast asleep on Michal’s lap while Gemma attempts to calm Becca down by rocking her back and forth in the corner.

When they spot you in the doorway, Michal gives you a sympathetic smile while Gemma’s frown deepens. You smile in return and pick up Becca from Gemma's arms and walk out of the room. You go to the guest room quickly to grab her favorite blanket and walked downstairs. You can hear Harry pacing in the kitchen, the pile of divorce papers missing from the floor most likely with him. You cautiously made your way to the glass door in the back of the living room and stepped outside into the slightly chilly night, bundling yourself and Becca up in the plush purple blanket Harry had bought Becca when she was born. You turned on the patio light and made your way to Gemma's garden to the small swing standing in the middle of it. 

You stay there crying as you rock Becca to sleep in your arms. A while later you heard footsteps slowly approach the garden and feel the weight of the swing shift as someone sits next to you. You don't dare look up as the smell of cologne gives away that it's Harry. He clears his throat a couple of times before speaking.

"Why wouldn't you take any of my money?" He asked quietly as he folded the divorces papers

You wiped your tears slowly and took a deep breath before responding, "because I didn't marry you for your money so why should I divorce you and get it. I married you because I love you"

"You need the support. I would give you all the money in a heartbeat you know that" he mumbled back

"I have a job and some savings, I could support myself and our kids" you stated. You heard him grunt as he flipped through the pages.

"Custody battle? Do you think it would come to that?" He asked quietly as you saw his shoulders shake.

"My babies are my everything....... I can't lose them like I already lost you" you stated as you caressed Becca's cheek.

"You didn’t lose- were you actually going to sign these?" He asked, voice cracking as you watched his hands begin to shake. 

"No" you replied back, barely louder than a whisper. 

Harry let out a breath and timidly let's go of the papers placing them on the ground before wrapping his arm around you carefully.

The minute your head hit his chest you began to cry. Harry quickly took Becca out of your arms and into his chest as you clung to him, sobbing into his shirt. He caressed his free hand up and down your back and placed chase kisses onto your forehead as he whispered sweet words and apologies to you.

You sobs slowly became sniffles as you wrapped your arms around yourself, leaving your head to lean on Harry's shoulders.

"Baby I’m so unbelievably sorry. I didn’t know it had gotten this bad. Why didn't you tell me you felt this way? With all the shows and starting to record the new album, I forgot about the most important thing in my life." He asked as he rubbed circles into your back.

You twiddled with your fingers, "I could never reach you. Every time I tried to call you were busy so I thought, ok he can just call me, but then your calls just got shorter and then they just stopped. I took it as you were busy but even when you had a couple days off you wouldn't come visit. You had basically broken off from us, Harry. I didn't know what to do. I spent most days with Gemma and most nights with a crying Becca keeping me up because all she wanted was her Dada singing her to sleep. I had to play your albums every night to try and get her to calm down and every time your voice played through the speaker, I died inside. It was all too much for me. I was alone Harry and you were nowhere to be found. I want my husband back. I want the man I fell in love with four years ago that use to wake up at 5 am halfway across the globe just to wish me goodnight. I want the man that cried at our wedding as I walked down the aisle. I want the man that tries to sneak chocolate chips into Connor’s pancakes while I’m not watching just to make his baby boy smile. I want my Harry back." you replied as you stared at the ground.

Harry stiffened as you finished speaking. He slowly lifted your chin up to meet your eyes. You could see tears falling down from his eyes as he looked straight at you. You could tell he was hurting and just the thought of him breakdown was making you shatter into a million pieces. You carefully got up from the swing a grabbed Becca from his arms before tucking her head into the nook of your neck as you cautiously sat down on Harry's laps. Harry let out a loud breath before he carefully wrapped his arms around your frame and staring straight into your eyes. 

"I’m right here baby, I’m still your Harry. I love you so much and just the thought of losing you and my babies hurts me more than a bullet ever could. I'm sorry I didn't call but I was so homesick that I figured it would be easier on both of us if I just kept my distance. I figured the check-ins with Jeff would be enough. I know that’s no excuse but I promise baby I’ll be better.  I love you so so much you have no idea (Y/n). I promise I'll be better for you and for our kids just please don't leave me" he said as he hugged you tighter causing a sob to escape your lips.

"I love you too H" you state in between sobs. You both sat there for a while until you had stopped crying. Cautiously Harry lifted your face to look at him.

"Can I rip up those papers when we get back?" He asked timidly as he stared at you.

You nodded furiously and quickly pulled him into a deep kiss. You pulled away breathless as you lean your forehead against his.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it that far. I should have just waited to talk with you before asking Michal about them and I..." you tried to continue but Harry stopped you with a kiss.

"Shhh we're going to get through this baby” He whispered as he caressed your hair. 

“We need to go to therapy, Harry. This was a big deal and I don’t think we can slip this under the rug and get back to where we were without it” You mumbled into his neck. 

“Of course (Y/n). I’ll go to therapy every day for the next thirty years if it means I get to keep you and my babies with me. I'm going to be better for you and for the kids. I'm going to take you all on tour with me from today on and were going to work through this. Now, why don't we head in it starting to get pretty cold." He stated as carefully helped you up while making sure Becca was wrapped up tightly in her blanket. You snuggled deeper into Harry's side and nodded your head as the two of you walked into the house once more.

Gemma and Michal sat on the couch talking quietly to each other as the tv played in the background They looked up at the two of you cautiously. Harry quickly kissed your head and grabbed Becca before taking her upstairs to bed.

You carefully grabbed one of the four full wine glasses on the coffee table and sat on the love seat next to the fire hoping to warm up a bit. Gemma starred at you as you sat there. You knew she was dying to know what happened outside, but she was too kind to ask.

"I think we're going to be ok" you state as you wrap the blanket closer to your chest. Gemma gets up and gives you a big hug.

“You’re not letting him off the hook are you?” she asked sternly.

“No, he’s not off the hook. We’re going to start therapy and we’re going to take things slow. He said he’s going to be home more and that he’s going to take us on tour with him from now on but we’ll see. One day at a time” you mumbled as you took a sip from your glass

"I'm glad it all worked out but if he hurts you again, family or not, I'll kick his ass. No one disrespects my (Y/n)" she said seriously. You laughed and simply nodded your head as you heard Harry's footsteps down the stairs.

"Thanks for watching Connor," Harry said as he shook Michal's hand and kissed the top of Gemma's head as she made her way to the spot next to her husband.

"Anytime. He is so adorable and quiet" Michal gushed.

You smiled softly and moved over slightly in your seat, making room for Harry. Harry carefully picked you up from the love seat and sat down, placing you on his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around you, burying his head into your neck. 

The four of you spent the rest of the night watching tv quietly as you cuddled in the loveseat, Harry stealing sips from your wine glass as you try your hardest not to fall asleep. After a while, Gemma and Michal said their goodnights and headed up to their room as Harry carefully picked you up and carried you to the guest room. He slowly laid you on the bed and removed all of your clothes except your underwear before taking off his shirt and helping you place your arms in the sleeves. He tucked you into bed and quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants before grabbing a pillow and getting ready to spend the night on the floor. He didn’t want to overstep and end the day on the wrong note but the minute he heard you call his name he smiled. He quickly checked on Becca that was fast asleep in her crib while Connor slept peacefully in the small bed laid out next to your bed. He gave both of them a quick kiss on the cheek before carefully sliding into bed behind you.

 You curled your body into Harry's and sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around you. You heard a faint "I love you, baby, so much" from Harry as you drifted off to sleep. For the first time in months, you were able to sleep through the night and you couldn't be happier.

Wow, it’s been a long time but I hope ya’ll enjoyed this one!!

Masterlist

[bittywitches]

hi bby! hope you're having a great day! for the prompt list, can I have #2 and #35 for grayson? tysm!!!

You’re the sweetest 🥺 As usual I got carried away, but I hope I did alright 😅 Hope you’re doing well too!

#2: “Stay here tonight.” & #35: “You make me feel safe.”

You woke up in a cold sweat, panting in the darkness of your bedroom. Your chest was pounding, the dark only adding to your tension. You scrambled to turn your table lamp on, sighing finally when you could see the warm colour wash over your room. 

Just another nightmare.

You breathed out, rubbing your face to try and ease your tension. The past few weeks had been rough on you. Ever since your mother grew ill, it was like everything else in your life started to spiral out of control. You had to take a few days off from work to take care of your mom, that taking up most of your days now. You knew she’d probably get by on her own, but you knew her. She wasn’t one to work well alone. Your mother had raised you all on her own, but you hadn’t left her side until just last year, when you’d moved out to live in a small apartment that was a lot closer to your job. Things were okay since your younger sister had been living with her up until a few months ago, when she left the state for school. Now it was just her at home, by herself. And once she got sick, she became even more restless, and you didn’t want to leave her alone. You loved her, but taking care of her everyday was adding a lot to your stress. You were afraid if you took any more days off you might lose your job, but leaving your mom alone at her house scared you to no end. That of course was all it took to fuel your ongoing nightmares. 

You sighed, reaching for your phone, knowing that there was no way you’d be able to fall asleep now after getting spooked like that again.

The light hurt your eyes a bit, but eventually you adjusted to it, seeing that it was 1 in the morning. You opened up instagram and scrolled through the posts, but stopped when you saw what Grayson had posted. It was a picture of you from yesterday when you had crashed at the twins’ place after leaving your mom’s house, since it was closer. You were sitting on the sofa, curled up into a ball while draped in a huge fuzzy blanket. The picture was taken from your side, and you remembered Grayson taking that photo of you in the middle of the movie you were watching. You swiped to see a photo of you now looking directly at the camera, tears in your eyes as you gripped the edge of the blanket close to your face. You blushed at that, embarassed that he’d decided to post it. You swiped one more time to see a photo of TV screen displaying a scene from Love Actually. You looked down to see the caption:

graysondolan I had to hug her until she stopped crying 😅

You smiled at that. He was right, but it’s not like he did it against his will. After the movie finished he brought you both a bowl of ice cream and you guys cuddled under the blanket while you watched The Office reruns to help you cool down. 

You loved the twins, they were some of your closest friends, and you were so grateful to have them, especially during this stressful time right now. They could help you relax, wind down, and wouldn’t let you feel bad for it. You’d found, however, that these past few months, you and Grayson had been growing a lot closer. 

Closer how? That was a good question. You yourself were trying to figure that out. You weren’t going to pretend that you didn’t have a small crush on Grayson, but you knew that right now it didn’t really matter if you did or not. You had so much going on in your life, you wouldn’t be able to get into something like that. Sure, spending all that time with him was always amazing, usually the highlight of your week. And as times got tougher, the nightmares seemed to keep finding you each night, and each time you found yourself soothing yourself back to sleep by thinking of being held in a certain someone’s arms... but that didn’t mean he liked you in the way you did him. You knew not to get your hopes up.

You shook your head, going to turn off your lamp again. You flopped down onto your mattress, closing your eyes to try and force yourself back to sleep.

…

…

…

Y/N!

No, no, come back!

HELP ME!

No, PLEASE-

You shot up, your chest heaving like crazy. 

“God, why-” You turned your lamp on again, rubbing your eyes.

“Guess I’m not sleeping tonight.” You grumbled, getting out of bed and pulling on your fuzzy slippers. You quickly tied up your hair into a loose ponytail, then grabbed your phone as you headed for your living room. 

You plopped yourself down onto your couch. You sighed, turning your phone on again to be introduced with Grayson’s post again. Your eyes drifted down the screen, but widened when you saw something. He’d only posted it about a half hour ago.

That meant he was still awake. 

You sat there for a while, contemplating what to do. You really did want to see him, but could you really do anything about it, considering what time it was?

You bit your lip. Fuck it. You pressed Grayson’s contact, then pressed call. 

You held the phone up to your ear, breathing in slowly as it rang.

“Y/N?” His voice sounded a lot clearer than you expected, so you could tell that he’d been awake.

“Hey.” 

“Are you okay? Why are you up?” You could already hear the concern in his voice.

“Um…”

“Is your mom okay?” 

“Yea, nothing’s wrong, don’t worry.” You smiled still.

“Oh.. okay, good.” He cleared his throat. “Why aren’t you asleep?” he asked again.

“I… couldn’t sleep. Wanted to talk to someone.” You started to get nervous when he didn’t respond right away. “You know what, I probably shouldn't have even called-”

“No, no, it’s okay. I was actually just editing a video right now, anyways.”

“Oh, am I disturbing? I’m sorry-”

“Y/N,” He laughed over the phone. “It’s all good. I was just finishing up anyway.”

You chuckled. “Okay.”

“You okay?” Even though you’d said otherwise, Grayson could tell there wasn’t something going on.

“Yea… just.. Got up to make tea.” you decided, then got off the couch and went to your kitchen in search of tea bags.

“You usually have midnight tea breaks?” He laughed again.

“Haha, no. Just today.” You turned the kettle on, then turned around to lean your back against the cool counter.

“Hey, um.” You cleared your throat. “Are you busy right now?”

“Not really, no. Why?”

“Okay, um, this might sound a bit crazy, but…” You rubbed your shoulder. “Do you wanna maybe come over?”

There was a pause. “...Right now?”

“Y-yea.”

“...Did you drink?”

“W- Grayson!” Your face flushed.

“Okay, so no-”

“You know what nevermind I’m sorry I called-”

“No no stop. M’sorry. I’d love to come over. Don’t you think it’s a bit late though..?”

“Just for a little bit.” You felt like you were begging at this point, but you didn’t care. You wanted to see him. “You don’t have to stay long.”

You bit down on your lower lip. “But you’re right, it’s fine-”

“Y/N, no. I’ll be there in twenty.” 

You smiled. “Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”

.  .  .

Almost exactly twenty minutes later, you heard the ringing of the doorbell. You gently placed your hot cup of tea down on the coffee table, and scurried towards the door.

“I’m coming!” You said, reaching the doorknob and turning it.

You opened the door to find Grayson standing there, his long hair set free from his usual bandana, wearing a loose black tshirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. He had a big grin on his face.

You smiled. “Hi-” But then your eyes drifted down to see him holding a cute little teddy bear and a take-out ihop bag; your comfort food.

“Grayson..” You brought your hands up to cover your mouth, suddenly finding tears spilling over your face, and you didn’t even know why. You’d been trying to keep your emotions at bay for so long that this one kind gesture was enough to tip you over the edge.

“Hey hey hey, hold on,” He placed the bag on the floor and reached for you, wrapping his arms around you. You buried your head into his neck as he rubbed your back.

“Y/N.”

“Mhm?” You sniffled, fiddling with his chain.

“Are you okay?” he asked one final time.

You breathed out. “No.”

He sighed. “I had a hunch.” He gently took your shoulders and pushed you away from him. “Wanna go eat this stuff?”

“Maybe later…” You said, wiping your eyes and bending down to take the bag. “I’ll put it in the fridge.”

You hugged him again, pressing your cheek against his chest. “Thank you.”

“Nothing to thank me for.” You smiled at him. He slipped his shoes off, then walked past you into your living room, and you closed the door behind him. 

“Oh, I made you tea.” You pointed at the second cup on the coffee table. 

“Thanks.”

You nodded, going over to the fridge to put the food away. You made you way over to Grayson and sat down next to him on the sofa. You watched him for a bit as he drank his tea.

Finally he set his cup down. “Okay, what’s going on? Is everything seriously okay with your mom?”

“Yes, she’s fine. At least, not worse than normal.”

“Then what’s going on? Why’d you call me?” He placed his hand on your leg, gently rubbing his thumb over your knee.

“I…” You coughed. “I’ve been having nightmares.” 

He tilted his head at you, a concerned look on his face. “Is it because of your mom?”

“I-I think it’s part of it.” You looked away, embarrassed. “I know it’s stupid-”

“Y/N it’s not stupid. It makes sense. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now.”

You looked up at him. “Yea?”

“Yea.” He paused. “Is that why you called? Because your nightmares wouldn’t let you sleep?”

You nodded, and you could see the actual pain in his face when you did that.

“Y/N…” He wrapped his arms around you again, and this time you let yourself comfortably nestle into his side. He kissed your forehead as he rubbed your shoulder.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but… are the nightmares actually about your mom?”

“That’s the thing, I don’t even know.” He brushed a hair out of your face as you spoke. “Every time it’s always me losing somebody; sometimes it’s my mom, or my sister, or a friend, sometimes it’s just a weird looming entity that doesn’t have a face but.. It still hurts. Still scares me.” You looked up at him, but found that his eyes were already on you.

“Sometimes…” You continued, fiddling with the edge of his t-shirt. “Sometimes it’s you.”

His eyes widened when you said that. “Oh.” He sat there for a moment, thinking about what you’d told him. He turned to face you directly, you now lying on his left arm while his other one came up to wrap around your waist. “Well at least I can relieve you of one worry.” He bent down to kiss your forehead again. “You’ll never lose me.”

You smiled, leaning back into him so you could nestle into his chest and neck, and he rested his head above yours. You both stayed like that for a while, not speaking, but just enjoying the closeness of one another.

“Hey, Y/N?” Grayson finally said, kissing the top of your head to see if you were still awake.

“Mmm?” You mumbled.

“Why’d you call me?”

You looked up at him, brows furrowed. “Hm?”

“I mean- I know why you called me. But why did you call me? Why not someone else?”

“Because…” You faltered.

“Not that I’m not happy you did.” He smiled. “I am. I just.. Dunno. Wouldn’t you call one of your girlfriends for something like this?”

“I guess…” You sighed. “But I wanted to see you.” His eyes seemed to twinkle when you said that. “You… You make me feel safe.”

“I do?”

“Yea. Like, no matter how fucked up everything else in the world is right now, you make me feel like it’s gonna be okay. That I’m gonna be okay.”

He grinned so wide at that, and it made you blush. “That was really cheesy, wasn’t it?”

“No. It was great.” He brought his arm up from your waist to gently caress your cheek with his knuckle. “That means so much to me. Thank you.”

You didn’t know what to think. Here he was, just him and you, snuggled up together at who knows when in the morning. It was perfect. 

But of course, it wasn’t.

You thought about just how bad this situation was. You were falling for this boy, who you didn’t even know if he shared the same feelings as you did. You’d called him in the middle of the night to come over, and for what? You couldn’t get into anything right now. That would be too hard with everything going on. 

But somehow not letting him know was even harder.

You laughed, rubbing your eyes gently.

“What is it?” Grayson asked.

“Oh, I just-” You looked at him again, his hazel eyes connecting with yours sending that wonderful feeling through your body. “It’s nothing.”

“C’mon, tell me.”

You sighed, a smile on your face. “No, it’s just- I shouldn’t have called you.”

His brows creased. “Hey, I told you that I wasn’t busy-”

“No, no it’s not that.” He raised his eyebrows at you questioningly.

“I just- okay. I probably shouldn’t be telling you this either but…” You laughed. “I’m so gonna regret saying this in the morning.” You breathed out. “I kind of have a crush on you.”

His eyes widened, and you could see colour spreading to his cheeks. “...Oh?”

“Um, yea. And getting you to come over probably wasn’t the best idea considering that- well it’s not like anything was going to happen because you don’t even like me in that way but if it were to it just-” You sighed. “It wouldn’t work right now. And I kinda just screwed myself over by getting you to come despite all of that since…” You shrugged. “Well, since I really like you.”

He stared at you blankly, and his mouth had slightly fallen agape about three sentences ago.

“Y/N…”

“You don’t have to say anything though, okay? It’s fine. I just wanted to tell you. Didn’t wanna have another thing just swirling around in my brain late at night.” You groaned. “I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point-”

“Y/N, relax.” He chuckled.

You brushed a hair out of your face. “Basically my point is, I probably shouldn’t have called. Getting over you has been hard enough right now and… this definitely isn’t helping that.”

“Then don’t get over me.”

“...What?” 

“Don’t get over me.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve had feelings for you for a while too.”

Your hands came up to cover your mouth again, shock clearly displayed on your face. “You’re kidding.”

“Dead serious.” He laughed again, brushing his long hair out of his face as he leaned back on the couch. 

“Grayson… why didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “I was just so sure you didn’t feel the same way that I didn’t see a point in telling you.”

You stared at him, your hands falling into your lap. “Are you serious?” You groaned, your head falling back onto the couch. “God, if you’d just told me sooner…”

“But why sooner?” He got up now, looking at you. 

“What?”

“Isn’t this good? That we both know now?” He leaned in closer to your, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. 

“Grayson…” You started, but the look in his eyes cut you off.

“I know you said that you wouldn’t be ready for anything but- We don’t need to do anything too serious yet.” 

“I don’t know…” You bit your lip.

“Just, let me take you out for dinner tomorrow.” 

“Gray!”

“That’s all I’m asking.”

He leaned in more, his nose now brushing yours. How badly you wanted to just close the distance between you both but…

You pulled away. “Gray, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

His hand fell away, his face falling as well. “Right. Sorry.” 

You coughed. “You know, it’s late. You should probably…”

He sighed. “Yea, okay.” He got up. “I’ll see you later?”

“Yea.”

He nodded at you, but the look in his eyes hurt you in a way that you’d never felt before. He walked around the couch, making his way for the door. You watched his back as he reached for your doorknob…

“Gray, wait.”

His head whipped around to look at you. “What?”

“Stay here tonight.”

“God I was hoping you’d say that.” He walked backed over to you in two long strides, grabbing you as he kissed you intensely, almost knocking you backwards but his hands steadied you by gripping your back and waist. He pressed his lips firmly into yours, and you gripped his shoulder’s tightly from your head spinning.

“Ooh, Hold on,” You pulled away from him for a second. “Head rush.” You giggled.

He grinned, pecking your lips and then pressing his forehead to yours. Then his eyes suddenly turned serious. 

“You sure this is okay?”

“Yea.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him one more time. “We’re gonna be okay.”

[niksixx]

Patience

~Part 2. Please read part 1 first~

Pairing: Axl Rose/Vince Neil x Female Reader 

A/N: Keep up those comments. It motivates me! 

*Picture is not mine; Found on Google. Creds to the owner*

Tag list: @littlemisscare-all @ginny-baker-sixx @metalheartofgold @madamsixx @curly-hudson @headlight-queen @julessworldd

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At twenty-seven years old, you had finally managed to piece your life together. Although your small business was just beginning and wasn’t generating as much money as you would have liked, you were happy.

Baking was a hobby that you turned into a full time job. While the process could be long, you never found it tedious. Every measurement, every smell, every pastry decoration and design, was satisfying. And by the reviews from your customers, they were impressed by your craft. They say if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.

Just as you check the clock on the wall above the shop door, a loud growl sounds from your lower belly. Glancing down at your stomach, you shake your head and chuckle, grabbing your wallet and keys to lock up the store. It is a slow day, and usually you bring lunch to work, but closing the shop for an hour won’t hurt. You’d only had four customers since opening at nine.

As you walk down the strip, you glance at all the different shops that once started out at the bottom, smiling as hope fills your heart. Plenty of the stores started out as tiny businesses, now flourishing. There was never a doubt in your mind that your store, your pride and joy, would succeed.

The smell of pork fried rice hits your nostrils as you push open the doors to a nearby Chinese restaurant. Behind the counter you spot Lei, one of the first friends to welcome you to LA years ago.

Lei’s eyebrows crinkle. “I thought you were working today! How are you?”

“Well for one, I’m starving,” you say, patting your stomach. “And two, I am. I closed up for an hour just so I could come and see you!”

Lei rolls her eyes as she punches buttons on the register, already ringing up your order from memory. “Papa! I need an order of sweet and sour pork over white rice and a spring roll to go, please. You know what? Make that two spring rolls, it’s for Y/N!” Lei shouts, turning back with a sneaky grin. “Free of charge just because I love you.”

Tipping generously, you sit by a table and wait for your order. Lei’s family owns the restaurant, one of the most well known on the Strip. You frequent her business as she did with yours, always making sure to buy a slice of red velvet cake each week. A day ago, she’d put in an order for fifty cupcakes for her son’s ninth birthday party that weekend, which reminded you to check the cabinets at your home for all the proper ingredients.

A vibration rumbles in your purse and you retrieve your phone, holding it to your ear. You weren’t expecting a call.

“Hello?”

“I need another bottle of Jack.”

The sound of your boyfriend’s slurred voice had you frowning. On the other end of the line, Vince Neil sits in the recording studio, half empty bottle of whiskey in his lap while Tommy Lee aimlessly toys around with his drum set, cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“Hi, babe. Are you still in the studio?” Lei makes a gesture with a take out bag, and you give her a nod, rising to your feet while cradling the phone between your ear and shoulder.

“Yeah, Doc gave us a ten minute break so I figured I’d call you. Did you hear me? I need another bottle of Jack. I’m almost done with the one I took this morning.”

“Wait, what?” You ask, forehead creasing. The man was building up his tolerance day by day, slowly but surely killing his liver. “Vince, that was a brand new bottle. I just bought that yesterday.”

“And it’s almost finished,” Vince remarks, rolling his eyes. “Just pick up another bottle on your way home.”

“Vin, you need to watch,” You warn, shaking your head. The last thing you needed was your boyfriend spiraling out of control like his heroin addicted bandmate, Nikki Sixx.

“I’m fine, stop worrying. I don’t need you pissing me off before I get back in the studio,” he spits back. “Just get the bottle.”

Sighing, you mouth a thank you to Lei before heading toward the door. “You know, the word please goes a long way--.”

The phone crashes against the tile floor as you collide with the door, or something that feels just as hard. Blinking to clear the stars from your eyes, your breath hitches in the back of your throat, lips going dry. Long, shiny red hair is the first thing that catches your eyes, followed by a pair of thin pink lips that look downright sinful, and soft gray eyes that hold a familiar warmth in them. The figure stares back at you, equally as stunned, unflinching as his hand holds open the door.

When you find your voice, it’s weak, just like your knees. “Axl?”

“Hey sugar,” his mouth quirks, and you blink again, positive that you’re hallucinating. There’s no way your old best friend is staring at you right now. It can’t be real. “Long time no see, huh? I see you’re still clumsy as ever.”

A hand covers your mouth and for a split second, you’re overwhelmed with the urge to cry. It doesn’t stay, and is soon replaced by sheer amazement. “Oh my God!” You throw yourself into his arms, almost knocking him off balance. Axl beams, catching you in his embrace, squeezing you against his chest. “I thought I was dreaming!”

His laugh is light and airy as he sets you on the ground, readjusting the bandana that keeps his hair off his face. “How have you been?”

Any feelings of irritation brought on by the lack of customers in your store and your pushy, intoxicated boyfriend fly right out the window. “Well, I was having a pretty crappy day, but I think you just made it ten times better,” you say, shaking your head in astonishment, bending down to retrieve your phone. Vince yells on the other line, but you quickly hang up before stuffing it back in your purse.

You give him another look, and his smile captures your breath, holding it hostage. It’s him. It’s really him. “My gosh, look at you. You are definitely not an eighteen year old boy anymore, Axl Rose.”

You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he’d become. He was taller now, and had thinned out. Pale skin was littered in tattoos, giving him the edge he lacked in high school, from what you can remember. A face that was once hard and rigid, now gentle, just like his eyes.

“I’d hope not,” he says lightly, cocking his head to the side. His eyes trail over your body, slowly. “Twenty five has been good to me, and it appears twenty-seven has been kind to you.”

“I’ll say,” you breathe, drawn to his playful grin. The boy that never liked to show his teeth turned into a man that couldn’t stop smiling. “Are you stopping in for lunch?”

“I am,” he nods, noticing your take out bag. “Do you want to have lunch together? Are you busy?”

You shake your head quickly, eager to spend time with an old friend. “Nope! Slow day at work today, unfortunately. And besides, I’ll never be too busy to have lunch with you.”

~~~

A huge smile spreads across Axl’s face when you unlock the door to your bakery shop. The colors, the decorations, were all so inviting. Before bumping into you, he’d always pondered about what you were doing with your life. You’d turned yourself into a business owner, and as Axl glanced around the store, he felt a sense of pride wash over his bones. The woman he loved continued to amaze him.

“This is incredible, Y/N,” he says, nodding in approval, dragging his fingers over a metal chair situated at a circular pastel purple table. “So, how long did it take your indecisive ass to figure out what you wanted to do with your life?” He teases, fake pouting when you push his shoulder. After all these years, you were still so comfortable around each other. Maybe it would be easy to win your heart after all.

“Hey, I wanted to make sure that whatever I planned on doing for the rest of my life would make me happy,” you argue, setting your food down on the counter. Axl stands on the other side of the counter, aimlessly toying with his chopsticks.

“Are you?” He questions in a serious tone, waiting for your answer.

“Always,” you reply with a smile.

It doesn’t reach your eyes.

And Axl notices.

~~~

Hours pass by, with only a few customers straggling in and out of your shop. You’d only sold a few pastries, but you plastered on a smile to hide the pit of devastation that had formed in your heart. It’s five-thirty, and you’ll give it another half hour before you lock it up, hoping someone else would notice your shop and drop by.

“So, Guns N’ Roses, huh?” After spending hours discussing your new life in California, the conversation turns to Axl. You want to know everything about him, everything you’ve missed the last seven years. Everything you couldn’t be a part of.

He nods, taking a sip from his water bottle. “I still can’t believe we made it.”

“There’s five of you, right?”

He nods again. “Yes ma’am. I’d like you to meet them sometime when you’re not busy. They’d love you. Especially Steven, probably a little too much,” he winks, keeping the atmosphere light. “I’ll tell him to keep the flirting minimal, only because that’s my job.”

Cheeks warm, you gather your trash and head to the bin in the front of the store, avoiding Axl’s lingering gaze. He didn’t know. Of course he didn’t know. No one did. “I’d love to, but that’s probably not the best idea.”

“How come?”

Biting your lip, you lean your elbows on the glass counter, clasping your fingers together. “My um...my boyfriend...he’s not a big Guns N’ Roses fan. He won’t even let me listen to your music. Probably would kill me if I ever did.”

Axl’s heart sinks. Let you? What the fuck? “Who’s your boyfriend?”

It’s not the answer he wants to hear. In fact, Axl’s face hardens when the name comes out of your mouth. “Vince Neil. I’m sure you’ve heard of him,” you say with a wave of your hand. You weren’t in the mood to talk about your boyfriend, especially to your male best friend. Men didn’t like to talk about other men.

“Time out,” Axl says in annoyance. You want him to drop the conversation, but he presses on. “You’re dating Vince? You had your choice out of all those Mötley Crüe bastards, and you went with Vince? How--How did I not know about this?”

You shrug, biting the corner of your mouth. Cat’s out of the bag, might as well keep going. “No one does. I stay out of the spotlight. Vince has an image to keep up, you know? The player. The bad boy. It’s entertaining. A girlfriend ruins that. You’d think the label would want to contain him, but quite the opposite, actually.”

The floor sways beneath his feet as the words process in his head. If Axl knew anything about the pompous blonde asshole, then he knew you weren’t being treated right. “How long have you been together?”

You contemplate telling the truth, but if you didn’t, he’d pull it out of you. Sighing, you lean your forehead against your hands, mumbling, “Three years.”

His legs almost give out. Three years of hiding. Three years of pretending. Three years of wasted fucking time with a man that didn’t deserve you. Three years with his competition, his enemy.

“I knew you were in a band, Axl. Although I haven’t listened to any of your songs, I’ve heard your name on the radio, seen you at award ceremonies when I watched from home. And I...I wanted to reach out. I just didn’t know where to find you. Vince doesn’t even know that you and I grew up together. I’m too scared to tell him. It would just give him another reason to hate you.”

“And you don’t think you deserve better than that?” Axl asks, mouth twisting in anger. “Because I know you do.”

“Well…”

The door to the shop slams against the wall, and in stumbles a visibly inebriated Vince Neil. His blonde hair is stringy, matted against the side of his head, and the stench of alcohol fills your nostrils, lingering on his spiked leather vest. An empty bottle of Jack Daniels occupies one hand, while the keys to his car dangle in the other.

Eyes blazing, you step out from behind the counter. “Vince, what the hell? You drove here? Drunk?!” The evidence was in his hands, but you refused to believe your boyfriend could have done something so wild, so reckless.

“You...y-you didn’t come home with the...with the booze,” he slurs, throwing the empty  bottle in the trash bin. He trips forward, reaching out to steady himself on the purple table. “I was scared something ha-happened.”

“Something did happen, Vince! You could’ve killed someone!” You scream, tears blurring your vision as you fight back the urge to shake some sense into his body. How could he have been so careless? So selfish? “You could have fucking died!”

“Don’t raise your fucking voice--,” And Vince’s eyes go black when he sees Axl standing behind you, stonefaced, hands shoved in pockets. He doesn’t know why the redhead is here, with his girlfriend, but he doesn’t like it. “Rose.”

“Neil.”

Vince straightens, puffing out his chest.  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Free country,” Axl retorts, eyes flickering to your face. The tears from your eyes are sliding down your cheeks. Even if he wants to bash Vince’s perfectly symmetrical face in, he holds back, not wanting to scare you. “And I was just leaving.”

“Axl, wait, no you don’t have to go.” You plead, grasping his wrist, voice thick with emotion. You didn’t want him to leave, not after you’d just gotten him back again.

“Yes, he does,” Vince says, more sober than he was a minute ago. Loosening his grip on the table, he toddles over, prying your hand from Axl’s wrist. Axl’s teeth clench, and his fists ball together in an attempt to keep the anger at bay.

“You’ll be going now,” Vince glares. “That’s not a request, either. I’m taking a piss, and by the time I come out, you’d better be gone.” He stalks off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

In a panic, you snatch a sharpie from the pencil holder on the counter, uncapping it with your mouth, before grabbing Axl’s wrist, scribbling digits quickly but legibly.

“What are you doing?” His voice is a hushed whisper as he tries to decipher the numbers.

“My phone number, my address.” you answer back, signaling to each one. Grabbing a piece of paper from your notepad, you quickly scrawl out Axl’s phone number and apartment address, stuffing it into your purse. He nods before pulling you in for a hug. “I want to see you again, Axl. It’s been too long.”

And he would see you again. There was no way, no way, that Axl would let anything come between you.

[doitjake]

The music in us - P2

Jake kiszka x reader

warnings: none.

Request: “two rockstars meeting in a festival, and both bands hanging out cause they are both friends with the struts, then jake starts falling in love w this person because of their personality, talent and charisma, they start to match in the second day of camping at the festival and then the bands have to play in the same day, jake tells his feeling and the reader doesn’t know how to react.”

A/N:  sorry it took so long to bring the second part and unfortunately or luckily we will have part three! I hope you guys like it and if you want to see a specific scene in the second part comment here or you can send me a message / question!!

Requests here: https://forms.gle/6uMRSCzFvyR2FgZPA

"Wake up, bitch." I open my eyes and see Ana climbing down from her bed, going straight to mine. Strange, usually Lexa who has the job of waking us up.

I sit up in bed before Ana could reach over and start pulling my covers off. Ana looks satisfied and walks towards Lexa's bed.

"Let me sleep, Ana." Lexa covers her head with the sheets.

Poppy comes out of the bathroom, already with her makeup and hair done. "This is what happens when you spend the night hooking up with a drummer." Poppy stops next to Ana who laughs looking at Lexa.

"Hanging out with WHO?" I finally really wake up and still hit my head on Ana's bed, which is on top of mine.

"Lexa and Danny kissed yesterday at karaoke." Ana speaks excitedly and Poppy continues. "Momma got it off!"

In less than 2 seconds Lexa stands up and appears at Poppy and Ana's side. "Shut the fuck up." I can see her red cheeks as she walks past me to go to the bathroom.

"What about you, honey?" Poppy looks at me arching her eyebrow."You and Jake hm, I felt the tension."

"WE ALL FEEL IT!" Lexa shouts from the bathroom, over the sound of water.

"Why don't you talk more about yesterday, Lexa?" I yell in response, causing her to shut up.

"Did kissing happen?" Ana asks.

"Oh my God people, he just walked me to the bus." Lexa comes out of the bathroom and I walk in right after her. "You guys are watching too many movies." I say already inside the bathroom.Inside I take a quick shower before some of my band mates start complaining.

Back in the room I get my boots and some necklaces and rings to complete my outfit, Poppy comes to me saying that Ana and Lexa are already gone to make it to a concert of some indie band at the festival.

Poppy and I get out of the bus and head towards the stages, which are already starting to get crowded. We pass by the security guards - who for some reason laugh when they see us - showing us our badges to enter the VIP area of one of the stages, which is now occupied by the members of Bloc Party. When we enter we see Luke, Adam, Sam and Josh at one end of the stage.

"Hi girls!" Sam is the first to see us as we approach and am I going crazy or did I really see Poppy blush now?

"Hey guys" Luke offers us each a bottle of beer. Poppy accepts, going to sit on one of the benches below the stage, I nod my head no. "It's not even noon, Luke." I laugh walking over to Poppy. "May I ask why you sat down, dear? We have to be on the big stage in 15 minutes for the Aerosmith show, they're opening."

Poppy's face contorts into a grimace as she looks across the festival to the stage. "You know Y/N, you who are an Aerosmith fan here, you're not going to make your pretty friend walk all this way to see a band I don't even listen to much?" Poppy smiles childishly at me.

"You are the worst friend in the world!" I speak to as I walk past the boys to say goodbye to them.

"I love you too!" Poppy shouts as I am almost at the stage exit.

As I walk to the other stage, I realize how beautiful the festival is. Camping tents circle the lawn, groups of friends take fun pictures lying down, not caring about the grass and a little bit of mud. Food trucks begin to set up their trailers to receive the drunken crowd in need of something solid in their stomachs, Poppy and Ana are included in this crowd. I laugh with thought and only realize that there was someone in front of me when I bump into her as I enter the vip air of the stage.

"I'm sorry." I raise my gaze to the person and am relieved that it is not a stranger who would probably cuss me out. "Oh, hi Jake!" I smile at the man in front of me.

"Hi Y/N." He laughs making room for me to pass. "How are you doing?"

"Well, how about you?"

"Fine too." Jake leans against one of the bars, he's even more handsome in the daylight, shit! "Still feel like you're going to pass out at any moment?" He smiles at me.

"Don't even remind me of that!" I smile too. "And you Sir, you have to promise that even if I faint you won't let anyone take me away from this privileged place." I point to the VIP area we are in, which is less than a meter from the stage.

"Okay, I promise!" Jake laughs and runs his fingers through his bracelets, coming closer to me, to speak something in my ear. "I know the whole festival has probably already seen this, but I think it's only fair to warn you that your badge is backwards." He looks at me amused and waves his own badge.

I look at my badge and see that all the writing and pictures are upside down. I try to turn it over still holding the rope, but I only make it worse, making the badge fall into the grass.

Before I can duck to pick it up, Jake does it for me and he also catches the badge cord around my neck with his own fingers and puts the badge away easily.

"There!"

I look at him and smile at the same time blushing. "Thanks."

Jake shrugs his shoulder smiling.

We both look over our shoulder when we hear familiar voices. Coming towards us are Ana, Gethin and a little behind them Lexa and Danny. Very close.

I laugh at the scene and Jake seems to read my mind and follows me smiling at the 'couple'.

"Cute, huh?" Ana nods to Lexa and Danny, making them both blush.

I pat her arm lightly and turn to Gethin and Danny. "Hi guys."  

"Hey Y/N." The two respond in unison.

Gethin crouches on the floor opening a bale of beer and handing it out to each of us. I get tired of rejecting drinks, so I accept. Before I can open mine, Danny and Gethin are already toasting with their bottles.

I shiver at the whisper right next to my ear. "I said, beer guys."

I turn to Jake smiling at the memory of our first conversation.

The half-computerized voice comes out of the speakers, announcing that soon the band will take the stage. And maybe it's the adrenaline from the concert about to start, but I take courage and approach Jake.

"So, today the girls and I are going to build a bonfire on the lawn behind our bus." I look at him, who has a sideways smile on his face and nods. "Do you want to join us? I mean, you and all the boys too."

"Sure."

We smile at each other and only stop when seconds later, Joe Perry and Steven Tyler enter the stage, being followed by the rest of the band afterwards.

"No fainting, eh." Jake speaks low to me, but loud enough for me to hear over the beginning of 'DREAM ON.'

"No getting me out of here if I faint." I speak would be but can't stand it and follow Jake in laughter as he throws his head back.

And now the show really begins.

I spend the next two hours singing (screaming) all the Aerosmith songs, some hours cuddling with Ana, other times helping Gethin open another bale of beer.

Jake, Ana and Gethin spend the last 4 minutes of the show laughing at me and Lexa, because we were crying of 'I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing' until we saw that Danny was also almost crying and then we were all engaged in the mission of laughing at him.

Definitely one of the best moments of my life.

When the concert of a small alternative band starts, we leave the VIP area and head towards the food trucks. Ok, maybe I am also part of the audience that needs something solid in the belly.

As we sit down on some folding chairs, Josh, Luke, Jed and Adam come towards us. Josh frowns, taking a seat in one of the chairs in front of me.

"Where are Sam and Poppy?"

"Are you guys too drunk and have you forgotten that they were both with you?" I ask laughing and the 4 boys in front of me look even more confused.

"They said they were going to meet you in the VIP area of the big stage." Adam replies.

All ten of us stare at each other's faces. Then Josh can't help himself and lets out a laugh and everyone starts to understand what really happened.

"Wow, two couples in less than a day of festival?" Luke hisses.

Even though I am a few chairs away from Lexa and Danny I can feel them both wanting to hide when we all give them quick glances, my glance is quick but so much so that I miss the scene of the two of them smiling at each other.

When I finish eating everyone is still too busy discussing Poppy and Sam and how they match as a couple.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn to Jake, who has also finished eating.

"We have an hour and a half until the Stones concert and I have half a bottle of Whiskey on the bus." He raises one of his eyebrows with an inviting smile.

"I'm in."

No one seems to care much when we say we're going for a walk around the festival. No one except Ana.

"Hey, Luke, look at the third couple!" She points to me and Jake laughing.

And for the second time in the day I feel all my blood rising to my cheeks. But I still have a little bit of bad bitch attitude left in me, so I yell back. "Only if you and Josh are the fourth." I hear Jake laugh behind me and get up the courage to look back, where I find Guitarist with his hand raised so we can have a high-five.

I slap his hand and look at Ana again and see a unique scene, my cousin embarrassed as Josh winks at her playfully.

Jake and I make our way back to the buses, stopping to look at a stall full of handmade jewelry. I leave with a lanyard with a pendant of James Jamerson's miniature Fender Precision bass and Jake with a leather bracelet, also with a pendant, a miniature Fender Stratocaster, Hendrix's trademark.

We stayed chatting about these iconic instruments until we arrived at his bus door.

"Welcome, Miss." He opens the door for me and I walk past him laughing.

Their bus is not much different from ours, except for the amount of drinks in one corner. But who am I kidding? If it weren't for Lexa, ours would be like this too.

Jake goes over to the corner and says he's going to get the glasses and the bottle and I sit down on the small brown leather sofa.

I pick up a book that was on the little table next to the couch, "Is it yours?" Jake comes over to me holding a bottle of Jack Daniel's and two glasses, one with ice and the other without.

"Yes." Jake sets the glasses down and opens the bottle. "Have you read it?"

I look at the paperback edition of an Edgar Allan Poe book of short stories and nod. "A classic." Jake fills both glasses with the liquid. "The best kind for touring."

Jake smiles and holds out one of the glasses to me. "No ice, right?"

"Right!" I smile at him.

We toast with our glasses and relax on the couch.

"Do you want to hear something?" Jake asks pointing to the small radio on the small table.

I say yes, even though the silence between us is not at all uncomfortable.

I smile when Five By Five by the Stones starts to play.

Jake lays back on the couch smiling as well "Just to get in the mood."

"I get it, Keith Richards's 'fangirl'." I wink at him, getting a laugh in response.

By the time the fifth and final one starts, we are at the end of the bottle.

I look at Jake beside me, his eyes and hands are focused on filling our glasses for the last time. A wavy lock of hair falls across his face, while the rest is tucked behind his shoulders.

And it must be the fault of the damned drink that I take my fingers to this lock and curl it around my finger, making it almost curl when I let go.

Jake looks over his shoulder and laughs anasaly. I pull my fingers out of his hair, embarrassed.

"Sorry, it was kind of irresistible." I give him a nervous smile.

Jake offers me my glass and smiles, "It's okay, Y/N!" He props his glass on the floor and brings his hand up to my hair, curling it in his finger, the same way I did with him.

Jake rests his cheek against the back of the couch and smiles. "Sorry, it was kind of irresistible."

I laugh and stare at the ceiling for a few seconds, but when I turn my gaze back to Jake, he is no longer smiling. But he doesn't look angry or upset. He scans my entire face, until his gaze meets mine again. My hair still curled on his finger.

"Would you be mad if I said I really want to kiss you?" Jake asks and shit I feel time stop and all that silly teenage nervousness come back.

I look at him and Jake looks anxious, waiting for an answer.

"No." I speak low, because for some reason my voice seems to get lost inside me, "I wouldn't be mad."

"And you wouldn't be mad if I actually kissed either?" Jake smiles sideways at me.

Without moving much, I leave my glass on the floor next to his.

"I would be mad if you didn't kiss." I admit smiling at him.

His fingers that were holding a lock of my hair, go to the back of my neck pulling me closer, one of my hands goes to his arm and the other goes through his hair.

And then our lips are together and when I briefly open my mouth, Jake gets the message and begins to explore my entire mouth. One of his hands goes to my waist, looking for support to deepen the kiss.

Neither Jake nor I care when the music stops.

Our breaths are a pleasant sound to both of us now.

His hands slide to the back of my thigh, pulling me onto his lap.

My two hands go to his neck while trying to make as much contact as possible with his mouth. I curse Jake mentally as he separates our kiss, he realizes my disappointment and laughs as he brings his mouth to my neck and I take back all the swearing I did second before.

Just as I am about to start the last buttons on his shirt (the only ones that were buttoned) a noise at the door and voices make me quickly get off Jake's lap.

"There are locks on these buses you know, brother?" We look at Sam who is dying to laugh at the moment.

And when Poppy's head appears through the door I realize that he is not the only one dying of laughter.