#did i mention i read a book? ☺️ as you can tell i am very proud of myself for that haha

[nikialexx]

(slightly long and personal post, which was initially meant to be me explaining/apologizing for the delay in responding to my comments on ao3, but turned into... this... instead. It's under the cut for anyone who wants to read :)

recently (and by 'recently' i mean it's been over a year) it's been very very hard for me to summon the motivation to do... anything. Even the things I used to love, such as reading, writing, engaging in fandom, baking, playing the sims, occasionally watching a show or a movie... it's all been so unbearably hard. There were some real-life situations that contributed to this, most of which are thankfully in the past now, but the state of nothingness that I've found myself in has yet to fully fade away. I'm doing better (i read a book! an entire book! i can't remember the last time i did that!!) but there are still days where it just feels hard.

And It's like... I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the process of getting through the tunnel is so dark and painful and lonely.

This entire post was inspired by me feeling guilty about not responding to my ao3 comments. i used to love responding to my ao3 comments. but now, whenever i even think about opening the website for any reason, i just feel... anxious. I can't even open the website to read the comments on there- I read them in my email instead because that feels less daunting.

I'm still writing, although some days (most days) it's harder than it used to be, a constant uphill battle where it used to be the easiest thing in the world for me to do. But I'm not writing nearly as much as I used to, which means I'm not posting as much as I used to or would like to. And it feels awful. For me, writing was always my *thing*. it was coming home. it was my favorite thing about myself. and not having that (or atleast, not having it in the way that I used to) has been really hard, and it's felt like a piece of me is literally gone. Like I'm missing some fundamental aspect of who I am as a person. Some days (most days) i feel like a shell of who I used to be.

And, to reiterate, I am getting better. It's just happening very slowly. And while I can look at the overall picture and say 'yeah... things are good', there are still the in-between moments of silence and darkness where I just don't know what to do with myself.

This is all very dramatic, but really, I just wanted to get my thoughts down (and also apologize, in the most melodramatic way possible, for not responding to my comments).

I spent a good chunk of the past year pretending I was okay, and refusing to even acknowledge that I was depressed because that felt like such a big, self-important word. But admitting it and accepting it is what led to me being able to work on getting through it. And now I'm doing better. So. Just wanted to share. If you happen to be feeling the same way, you're not alone :)

(also i will respond to my ao3 comments eventually. i promise i will. and thank you for leaving them. I read them all and I love them <3)

[nspwriteups]

Blind Date - Modern Vanmozhi OS

Kundavai is Keerthana, Arulmozhi is Arun and Vanathi has no name change... happy reading ☺️

Arun fidgeted in his seat. What was wrong with him? His usual calmness had left him ever since his sister introduced the idea of a blind date and had been persuading him to go on one. Now her mission was accomplished as Arun found himself in a fine high-end restaurant, with his sister already booking the seats for him and his mystery date. He sighed. How can he tell his beloved sibling that he wasn't interested in anyone now, that he just wanted to work on his career as a publisher and his idea of a suitable girl for him was too idealistic  to be true.

Whatever. He thought as he took a sip from his glass of water. Entertain her for some minutes and make an excuse to get a pass from this dating thing. 

He couldn't help but wonder about his date. He didn't know much about her, although he did hear a lot about her from his sister, he let the information pass through his other ear. But he remembered one thing - it was Keerthana's (the sister he had been mentioning so much) best friend. Keerthana had even shared some photos with him but he didn't bother to look at it, heck he didn't even know his blind date's name! He looked at his watch. He was actually early to the decided time for the meeting and now there were still 5 more minutes, he had nothing better to do, why not sneak a peek at the photos his Akka had sent him?

He was about to take his phone from his pocket when he saw a woman approch the front desk. She was dressed in a rose coloured saree, her long hair in waves flowing down her shoulders and he noticed her big doe eyes scan  the room, lingering for a few seconds on his form before looking back at the front desk person to ask something. 

Get a hold of yourself, Arun. Arun chided himself. Don't ogle at her, whoever it was. He thought for a second whether that was his mystery date. He suddenly got a feeling of curiosity and familiarity, that he has known this person from somewhere and wanted to get to know her more. He unlocked his phone and looked one last time at the woman and got a shock seeing her walk towards him.

"Hi" She said in a soft voice and Arun gave her a friendly smile "Are you Arun? Keerthana's brother?" 

"That would be me" Arun shaked her hand and they both took their seats. 

"I am Vanathi " She said in a formal tone.

"That's a very beautiful name" Arun said genuinely, and secretly prided himself in making her smile a second time. Maybe this date wasn't going to be a bad one after all.

But he had to correct himself after a few minutes. They both fell into a deep silence which was only broken by a waiter who brought them some wine to drink. 

Arun kept glancing at Vanathi on occasion, noting how she was fidgeting with her hands and how her eyes were looking at everything in the room except at him. It was clear she was nervous, probably in a blind date for the first time. He was no stranger to blind dates thanks to his sister who was intend on making him meet every girl in town so she can plan his marriage  with silent encouragement from his family. The key is to start with small talk.

"So Vanathi, what do you do?" He asked

She looked at him at that moment "I am a dance choreographer" She said, "I heard Keerthana mention that you work in a publishing house?" She was the one to contribute to the conversation next, gaining a little confidence.

"Yes, it's a startup that I have, I am planning on expanding it. That is what I'm focusing on at the moment " He said, thinking back on his career journey.

"Oh" He heard Vanathi exclaim and looked in her direction just in time to see a disappointed look in her face.

"So you weren't looking forward to this date?" She half whispered, while nursing her wine glass

Arun opened and closed his mouth, unable to give a proper answer and not wanting to make her even more disappointed because he realised the person sitting opposite to him was hoping for something more from this meetup "Vanathi, If I have to be honest, I did agree to this because of my sister but is there no way we can get to know each other and make this a good memory?" He was hoping his carefully chosen words would cushion the initial fact that he was disinterested in this ordeal but only got a hum from his listener.

Another few minutes of torturing silence prevailed and Arun was contemplating on renewing the small talk when Vanathi suddenly stood up.

" I'm sorry but I don't think this is working" She gave him an apologetic smile " All this formal wear and high-end restaurant and molecular food with expensive prices are not my idea of a date. Let's just tell Keerthana that it didn't work out. I don't want to take up any more of your time. I'll get the check" 

Arun was gaping at this sudden monologue. Wait, she's leaving? Wait, why was he so upset with that , it's not like he was having a picnic either. Then he realised something - this idea of a blind date was Keerthana's, the choice of place was Keerthana's and even the choice of clothing was Keerthana's. They were made to spend time in an ambience of a third person's tatse! That was what was wrong with this entire situation.

"Wait" he said, surprising Vanathi who looked at him curiously. "What is your idea of a date then?" He asked

She hesitated "You wouldn't like it" She stated

"Try me" He insisted . Vanathi blushed a bit and said "Street food. Chai in those little clay cups. Long drive with lofi music or slow walks on the beach"

He grinned at her answer. His first impression of her was sophisticated,Elegant, Nervous. But now she made a new impression - simple, composed and alluring. 

"Then what are we waiting for?" He stood up too and caught a shocked look on Vanathi's face. Let Keerthana think they're having a top notch wine and dine, "I can keep a secret from my Akka" He added, looking at her challengingly "Can you?" 

She gave a short laugh and shook her head, as if she couldn't believe how different the siblings were from each other "Okay then let's go on a real date"

Let me know if you want me to write a second part to this

@ramcharanobsessed @dumdaradumdaradum @vibishalakshman @harinishivaa @hollogramhallucination @kovaipaavai@rang-lo. @willkatfanfromasia@thelekhikawrites@thegleamingmoon@deafeningflowercat@yehsahihai@whippersnappersbookworm@itsfookingloosah@gemsmusings@chiyaanvikram@elvenladysakura. @matka-kulfi. @madatdisney@bumblebeeskywalker@vahnithedreamer@nkarti@dosai-maavu@utterlynotperfect@winter-birds@happy-bookworm @tumbledout @anabanana4115 @freeunknownwasteland @bhataktiatmacore@rapunzels-stuff@celestesinsight@mairablue@rationalelderberry@existenceiswhateven@arachneofthoughts@spider5884fan11 @cara-2003 @nirmohi-premika @stella12 @thereader-radhika

[starsreminisce]

So about the ancient fae bloodline, a lot speculated that Archeron family is a part of this line. Do you think it came from the father or mother?

Your posts are very informative and really great read. Hope you are doing well ☺️

Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying them, and yes, I am doing well!

I'll be honest, SJM tends to save her twists for her finales. KOA and HOFAS brought out some items that completely change things, which has sort of conditioned me not to try to guess the upcoming plots. (It's impossible because I quite enjoy seeing if I am right about certain plots. HOFAS was a little embarrassing where I guessed correctly what would be brought up, but the execution was way off.)

The way she has withheld information on their parents feels like one of those things that will eventually show a link to the TOG world. She did love using a lot of names that started with "A" and Lydia's son, Actaeon, feels a lot like Archeron to me (silly, I know!). I don't believe Lydia gave the reason for his name as she did with Bran.

Personally, I would guess it's more on the father's side because her last name was not mentioned at all in the first book. The planting of the seeds for connecting worlds in the second book was when we were told her last name.

I had not thought of my family name, had not used it, for years and years. Because even when I had sacrificed and hunted for them, I had not wanted my father’s name—not when he sat before that little fire and let us starve.

In the first book, Feyre observed ward-markings her father traded (HOF and QOS were written before ACOMAF). Her father urged her to stay in the fae lands. Perhaps the most interesting thing to me is that Helion approaching sparked a core memory for Feyre about her father with a lapis lazuli pendant, a stone of wisdom, truth, and warding off evil.

My father had once bought and traded a gold and lapis lazuli pendant that hailed from the ruins of an arid southeastern kingdom, where the Fae had ruled as gods amid swaying date palms and sandswept palaces. I’d been mesmerized by the colors, the artistry, but more interested in the shipment of myrrh and figs that had come with it—a few of the latter my father had snuck to me while I loitered in his office. Even now, I could still taste their sweetness on my tongue, still smell that earthy scent, and I couldn’t quite explain why, but … I remembered that ancient necklace and those exquisite delicacies as he prowled toward us.

I kicked my boots against the stone door frame, knocking the snow from them. Bits of ice came free from the gray stones of the cottage, revealing the faded ward-markings etched around the threshold. My father had once convinced a passing charlatan to trade the engravings against faerie harm in exchange for one of his wood carvings.

Papa Archie also knew something was amiss with the queens and acted, seemingly on instinct, to find Vassa. He was able to negotiate her release, and I feel like one of the few ways he would get leverage was through his family history.

Another thing was how three death gods seemed to be keen on Nesta being Made. Nesta described herself as her mother's creature and started to reject that pull to power the more she accepted about her complicated feelings towards her father.

Feyre knew little of her parents and only felt resentment towards her father in her later years. Nesta hated her father and his lack of action, but eventually learned to accept that she was worthy of the love he gave her.

Elain has the best relationship with her father, so I feel SJM is saving a lot of history until his story can be told by people who knew him when he was at his best.

Lowkey, it's a sweet headcanon if Papa Archie would tell Elain that her ancestor was that fae warrior who trapped the other Death Gods, in order to remind her of her own strength—that she is more than a pretty face.

Thank you for asking and again for your kind words!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Dani, I'm alive!

Let me start with this very accurate meme I made on the train:

This is pure entertainment! I did try to take the test when you made it on my way to the library, but I got to the third question and saw a classmate so I had to drop it (socialising sucks) and just got the time to finish it.

Is 70% acceptable? If not, please tell me so I can leave quietly and in shame🙃 I remember you made a video once about your tattoos but I can not find it anywhere and now I'm curious! I love tattoos, how many do you have?

In other news, I saw a video you made about naming characters with alphabet and it was hilarious 😂 You have an adorable laugh, by the way, it made me laugh too.

Also, I had just enough time to read one update, and did I choose the funny, Malec one? No, I chose the Mavid, angsty one. Something is wrong with me. But Dani, my Mavid babies😭 The fics of them growing up together are a little extra close to my heart. I mean come on, they were talking to each other like they've been married for years and they were children! Also, I'm kinda excited about pissed off Max LB, am I going to regret that? "Right where you left me" is amazing🥹

I can't wait for exams to be over so I can start OFRI, Alec and Asmodeus besties? Malec getting married and then falling in love? Pure poetry✨️ Although, Malec meeting and not having a crush on each other immediately? Sounds suspicious🤨 I can't wait to read and find out.

I read "Marauders" in an ask and I squealed I'm so obsessed with them at the moment and I adore Sirius Black. I mean, the parallels I see between Sirius/Remus and Max/David? I could talk about it all day long, and I will once I get the time believe me.

Can I just say, your characters have like, the most amazing names? Alyse? Prettiest name I've ever seen. And I love how there's a meaning behind them, enough that a picture can resemble it? I can't wait to find out everyone's names and personalities! What is your process in choosing their names? Does their personality play a part in choosing? Or their story and journey in the book? Like David meaning beloved?

Okay, I'm gonna fuck off now and go back to studying now, hopefully I survive the next two weeks and come back. I leave you with a bunch of tik toks that will hopefully make you smile, have a fantastic week☺️🌼

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZNecjwHqM/

David with Max??

These two are my favourite Wolfstar (Sirius/Remus) cosplayers, they are adorable🥹

That meme is so accurate 😭😭😭

How are you, Vicky? I hope the exams are going okay and you are taking good care of yourself 🔪 (yes this is a threat)

70% is actually very good (apparently 🤣)

I have 5 tattoos so far. I don't have a dragon tattoo yet. I want to get one, but I need the right design!!

Omg the names games was something else. I was so exhasuted when I made it so I have no idea what I was saying lol.

Of course you picked the angsty story 🤭 Pissed off Max LB does not make good decisions, so we probably shouldn't be excited. But then again, not pissed off Max LB doesn't make good decisions either lmao. We will wait and see how things go 😌

Wolfstar is a whole thing, isn't it? I love the dynamic too. If i remember correctly, Gigi is a big fan (it's mentioned in the early LBAF fics).

The name is actually Anise 😇 The naming process is actually a nightmare because in this world, people are named according to a system and I have to fit a name that fits the system while also giving nice vibes. IT'S A STRUGGLE I TELL YOU. But I love all the names so far. They are vibing hard. I can't wait for you to learn all the names and why are given those names 🥰

I hope the next two weeks go well. I have a bunch of deadlines for end of September, so I hope we both survive it ✊🏾 Good luck with your exams and can't wait for you to come back and enjoy OFRI 🩵

PS - The sharks and camels thing??? AH. And that's definitely David with Max hehe. I love my codependent clusterfucks 😎 And those cosplayers were so cute 😭

[macbetha]

19 & 37

Thanks for your patience! 💞☺️

Nineteen: Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

This is a little long 💗

I was making up stories before I even knew how to write. I was very lucky to have a mom that would play dolls with me and she would say each morning, “What’s her name today? Where does she work? What does she do for fun?” I’m so so lucky.

My mom is also a writer! She writes children’s books and they’ve always had animal characters present, so I’m sure I use all my animal symbolism because of that. She and I also have a sort of book club for fanfictions! We’ll read a story at the same time and compare notes over coffee. She enjoys Hunger Games AUs the most.

My mother’s family is small but full of incredible storytellers. My uncle that passed, he would turn his voice and use sweeping gestures and it was such a beautiful thing. He was absolutely lyrical. He could make grim situations humorous and even a little beautiful. He loved the storytelling in music and played the guitar. I have his guitar, cannot play it worth anything, but if I’m overwhelmed I can easily remember him saying, “Just get somewhere alone and listen to your records.” So stories are generationally important to me.

I can’t remember why exactly I started writing fanfiction around age twelve but I do know what was going on in my life at the time, so I’m sure I needed escapism profusely. I’ve mentioned before I wrote some Alvin and the Chipmunks at the time lmao but I also did Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was a balm.

I wrote fanfiction for other media like young adult books until I was I think sixteen? Well, I stopped publishing them. I continued writing them but I kept telling myself I wasn’t ready to publish whatever came next? It was weird. I just kept building the story until years had passed and I guess I let intimidation get the best of me.

Then around age twenty I started writing for Free! and I don’t remember my mindset on why I decided to publish - I’m not sure what changed in my mind - but again, I needed some serious escapism. EWOATT is exaggerated but there’s a baseline of personal experiences I had never spoken about and I needed the release. I was hurting and had exhausted all other efforts to cope. It turned out better than I ever could have imagined.

I continued writing for years up until about nine months ago. Haven’t published anything since. I was in my last year of undergrad and I’m sure people are used to me taking breaks, but this is the longest stretch since I was twenty. I’m twenty-seven now. I miss sharing stories like it was a home and I am getting back into it. 💗

I do anticipate that it will be interesting for me to see how I’ve changed. My writing style is different but in a way I definitely like! Comeback incoming wooo~

Thirty-Seven: If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

“SHIT THIS GIRL WAS SO SAD” lmao no I’m not sure. I can say that if I got to choose what words I was remembered by, I’d want it to be the Asahi quote from EWOATT: “You can’t forget, okay? That there’s good in the world.”

I also like “I’d beg him to ruin my life” (Sousuke about Rin in DOAB) / “Your hands are my hands” (Makoto to Haruka in THOM)

Thank you for asking~! 🍄🍓

[tiktaalic]

I recently finished dta and I feel like I gotta spread the gospel. the thing about dta. is that it has the best cas. he has infinite knowledge. he’s the funniest bitch alive. he’s autistic. he invents a new element and tries to name it deanium. he makes intense crazy declarations to dean at the drop of a hat. he has several best friends. he’s strange and offputting. everyone wants to fuck him. he grows out his hair. he acts murderous and violent and dean is like ☺️ that’s my guy. he thinks religious ritual is sexy. he never lies but yes he does. no he doesn’t. he experiences infinity-induced delirium. he has to be swaddled and cared for. he finds both horror and beauty in humanity. I love him your honor.

to clarify, having not read ack I don’t know how the horrifying aspects compare. some of the things in that dta chapter are genuinely very upsetting so this is very much a heads up to read the warnings on that chapter. but also overall. I do think that taking the fucked up things in supernatural to their logical conclusion with the full weight of what that means. is a plus side of the story.

the other thing about dta is that in book 4 it takes a turn for the very intense which kinda blindsided me. however, I haven’t read ack yet, but I get the impression that you like a fucked up little story about the characters having massive issues. so as long as you read the warnings it should be cool. final word is I like your supernatural opinions and I think you could be a dta understander.

LOVE AND LIGHT i kn ow i am literally a supernatural blog but. i am not reading all that (dta). if im gonna sink time into a game of thrones length text it will be. gamey thrones and not supernatural fanfiction. i am not huge on fanfiction in general and even less huge on longfic its something i read when im on a plane. everyone i know whos read dta tastes i trust completely but my sticking points are. a) lol im not reading all that and b) im just. not intae endverse as an ongoing spool of narrative. no ones ever pitched The Dread as part of dta which is intriguing i am intrigued. that and the fever dreams no one EVER mentions and then i find out and im like. what the hell you guysyou did nt tell me there were compelling aspects in there. i dont think i will ever in my life overcome the momentous inertia that means i havent read it yet. the only scenario i can think of where i read dta is that the books appear on my door step without me buying them and i happen to have the slowest week of work in my life

[choconoo]

~.* Hello, Welcome to my intro post *.~

Yellow everyone! ☹️ okie okie so I will be telling you a few things about me 🫡

Age~ I am currently 17 years old 👵🏻

Name~ I’ll be going by Moon 🌙

Pronouns~ I go by she\Her 👩🏻

Career~I’m a junior in high school 🏫

Nationality~ Honduran 🇭🇳

Language~ Fluently, Spanish and English 💫

What will I write about~ K-pop 🎶

Groups I will write about/stan~ TXT, ENHYPEN, &TEAM. 🎤

Here are some extra things to know about me~

So where do I start Hmm, okay well, I’m actually a very shy person, but I thought for the new year I should put my mind to do something, and I thought why not write as I would do it as a small hobby for the past maybe 3 years, I also like other things like

Gaming~ 🎮

Music~ 🎵

Dancing~ 💃

Psychology- 🧠

Astronomy/Astrology~🪐

Harry Potter~🪄

K-pop~ 🎧

And maybe a few other things 🤭 I have mentioned that I will be writing for K-pop, specifically TXT, ENHA and &TEAM maybe some &AUDITION too we’ll see 🙈 I’m also interested deeply in other groups such as Stray kids, bts, Astro, Treasure, and maybe a few others and I know a thing or two about some girl groups such as Blackpink, Twice, Ive, le sserafirm, itzy, dreamcatcher, new jeans, everglow, loona, Kepler, Nmixx and maybe some more underrated groups however I don’t stan any girl groups, I’ve heard some songs and I’ve enjoyed some but personally I gravitate more to the boys and their vibe. I am most comfortable writing for the 3 groups I have mentioned at the beginning as they’re my ults specially TXT, and I know them the best, I will mention my bias in each group 🙈

Hueningkai~ (Bias in TXT)

Soobin~ (Potential wrecker in TXT)

Niki, Jungwon, Sunoo and Sunghoon~ (Biases in Enhypen 🥲)

Ej, Harua (Biases in &Team)

Maki, Jo (Potential wreckers in &Team)

And if you wanted to know as well ☺️

Gaku, Yejun (Biases in &Audition) (Out of the eliminated)

And that’s pretty much it, when I say “potential” wreckers, I mean when I’m not sure whether they are, like I have an attraction to them but not sure if enough to consider them a wrecker I hope that clears up confusion ☺️ now I will mention things I am comfortable writing with and what I am not comfortable with.

Genres I’m okay with

Fluff

Suggestive

Angst (I’m not the best at it but I’ll try my best 🥲)

Fantasy

Mystery

Smut (Once I’m of age 😅 also…probably wouldn’t be good at it)

AU’s (Highschool, Soulmate, Etc.)

Genres I’m not comfortable doing

Anything having to do with rape :(

Homophobia :(

Abuse of any shape or form (Emotionally, physically, sexually, etc) :(

Some sexual kinks (Feet fetishes, anything with minors, I’m sorry I’m just not comfortable) :(

No smut for idols who are minors :(

Incest :(

Adult idol or reader with minor reader or idol situations :(

And perhaps with time I’ll add to those categories now before I finish as this is way too long, I feel like I’ll get hate and called a hypocrite for “writing smuts for idols when I’m a minor” or “oh she says she won’t write for idol minors when she’s a minor herself” now. I did not mention I’ll be writing smut as of right now, I have nothing against the genre or people who read it, this is an open platform for anyone, and I just want to try and be someone everyone can come to read a book, I know I said I have some things I’m not okay with or comfortable such as some sexual kinks. Again. I don’t judge anyone I like to think I’m a very open minded person, perhaps with time things will change, just based on my personal experience, health and happiness this is what works for me at the moment :)

Now! That being said thanks for coming by and seeing my debut *Wink Wink* I truly hope you enjoy my future projects, I come in peace 😭🏳️ I’m not looking for trouble or anything I just want to have fun!!, anyone and everyone is welcomed and I hope you enjoy 😁

Time to get my thinking cap on and get something published lmao 😂 ;)

Lots of love -Moon 🌙