#did i gif every millisecond of his screen time? why yes. yes i did | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

melliemell · 1 month ago

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Happy Birthday to the biggest baby ever!

Shoutout to Flamey for hosting his bday party and encouraging us to participate (gosh, I love her writing so much, you've no idea)

Pairing: Ranpo x reader

Contents: SFW, Ranpo being a menace, bike riding 101 + public transport is for losers, approx 2.1k words

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“I don’t see the point in that,” Ranpo declared with all the dignity in the world as he flopped down on the pavement. Carefree. And too calm.

You levelled your breath, trying to balance the bike on your hip as your anxiety grew by the second. You’ve been employed at the ADA for some time now, not enough to be on familiar terms with your colleagues, but enough to have figured out some of their quirks and knacks over the weeks.

Ranpo was a pretty open book, to be frank. A man that whined and lazied about most of the time, but most importantly– he never seemed to be in a hurry for anything.

“This is the best I could do,” you said, clutching the bike’s handles in exasperation. “Please, Ranpo. If we don’t go now, we’ll be late for the 4 pm meeting.”

You could, under no circumstances, be late for that. Especially Ranpo, seeing as he was the one who’d be leading the update on the new case you were signed to. He was signed to. Not you, you were merely the unlucky clerk who happened to be at the office at the wrong time. You had wondered why everyone scurried away when Yosano asked for assistance with Ranpo.

The man was an absolute disaster with public transport.

Even more so when said transport was also nonexistent, and you might be somewhat stranded in an unfamiliar neighbourhood with no available taxis and a bored out of his mind detective looking at you like you’ve grown a second head in the span of 2 seconds.

“What?” you asked.

Ranpo leaned back on the heels of his palms, head cocked as he raised a brow. “You don’t even know how to ride that, by the way. How’s that gonna work out for ya?”

You don’t remember mentioning that to him. You raised your chin. “It’s a matter of balance more than anything. And determination.” Or so you hoped; not that it mattered. It was this or the walk of shame.

Not on your watch.

“Sure sure,” Ranpo answered absently as he flipped his phone, a catchy melody spilling from it a moment later, a familiar rhythm game flashing briefly from what you could see on the screen.

You pursed your lips.

You looked down at the bike, trying to focus. Most things really did come down to a few simple truths– an insistent mindset and a healthy dose of delusion and you were good to go! Although, as you sat down, one leg tentatively balancing your weight, and Kunikida’s voice of stern encouragement in your head–he would do what he must for his responsibilities, truly a man to look up to–you stepped on the pedal and–

The bike swirled, your eyes widening in panic as you fought in that millisecond to regain balance. You heard a low wohoo from behind you even if Ranpo’s eyes were still glued to his phone.

Yes, right. Determination.

It was almost like a mantra, one that sounded more and more exasperated in your head with every attempt at moving this damned bike. It just wouldn’t keep still. Clutching onto the handles for dear life made little to no difference in your fight against gravity. But your annoyed huffs and general aura of built-up exasperation did finally bring about something.

That is, Ranpo sighing dramatically before standing up.

He leaned close, poking you in the shoulder. “That’s not how you do it, stupid.”

You looked at him, forcing a face of serenity on your features. “I only need a bit of time.”

“I’m bored. Looking at you failing at basic physics made me hungry too.”

A thought popped into your mind. You smiled innocently. “Is that so?”

“Don’t try that with me.” He looked around, trying to mask the giddiness in his body before he spoke again. “My work is very tiring and I need my deserved downtime. With snacks provided.”

“But you’re not finished with work.”

“Helloo?” Ranpo waved his hand in your face. “Case closed, job done. And I already sent a text with some details while you were wriggling in the air like a sardine.” He pouted, crossing his hands. “What’s the point in talking to a bunch of old men about their job when I already did it for them.”

Kunikida had briefed you on this before. You knew perfectly well where this was going.

“Ranpo,” you began, not letting his dejected puppy face sway you in the slightest. “It is in the best interest of the Agency that we proceed in a customary manner. If we wish to maintain the respect we’ve attained, then I will do what is–”

“They knew they couldn’t solve their case without me, though,” Ranpo stated matter of fact. Like it was common sense.

You blinked. “Yes, because of the ADA’s reputation–”

“Nuh-huh, not that. They know my reputation. Can’t help it, being the best that I am.”

“Ranpo, I can’t deny your immeasurable talents–” you could almost see his ears perk up at the compliment, “–but… we still need to get there, they need to hear from yourself about everything. And impress them in person with your deductive prowess.”

You were grasping at anything at the moment. Convincing Ranpo was more concerning than the bike situation, and besides, multitasking was for losers. One victory at a time.

But it seemed to do the trick, at least a bit. Ranpo was far more receptive than earlier and with just the right amount of push… a man with vanity was easy to spin around, although it leaves you with a bitter sense of disloyalty in the end.

“Hmm,” Ranpo hummed, eyeing up the bike behind you as his hand came up to his chin in thought. “You know we’ll definitely run over a car sooner or later. Or a poor grandma, they run about in the afternoons a lot.”

“Uuh,” you said, dumbly. Not like you could argue with that.

A silent pause of a few seconds, followed by a prolonged groan as Ranpo slacked his body forward.

“We’ll begin slow; I’m a quick learner if–”

Your words died in your throat as Ranpo all but heaved a great sigh and plopped himself on the bike seat.

He threw a glance over his shoulder, “I’m doing this once and only once. And only after you agree to stop by a candy shop on the way.” He patted the remaining space behind him as you looked at him, surprise written on your face.

No way. No way was this man–this man who barely knew how to punch up the right buttons on the ticket machine thinking he’d be the one in the front.

“You know, I think it would be best if I was at the handles,” you started, earning a scoff from Ranpo.

“Sure, if you insist. Aaall the way from the back. And do the navigation; I still don’t know where we are right now.”

You came closer, still unsure. “Ranpo, don’t tell me you actually know how to ride a bike?”

“What kind of loser doesn’t learn it when they’re a kid,‘ he said, then cocked his head. “Besides you, I guess. Weren’t we in a hurry, by the way?”

You eyed Ranpo suspiciously. Although he was sitting with an air of confidence that could belong to someone who knew what they were doing.

Or he was just being Ranpo.

Tentatively, you sat down in the space behind him, earning a finally from Ranpo as he faced forward. The remaining doubt in your mind all but exploded into a rush of panic and clutched hands in fabric as sudden wind engulfed you, the street you were in a messy blotch of colours as it flew by.

“Hey!” Ranpo shouted over his shoulder, wriggling. “It’s just a small slant, so stop clinging so much! Work on checking where that store is.”

You hadn’t realized you had all but glued yourself to Ranpo’s back, hands clutching the front of his vest like a lifeline. You tried loosening your grip, enough to give him some breathing space but ended up just wrapping them in a different position. Not a chance…

“I am not taking out my phone, Ranpo. Please slow down. Please. Very please.”

“We’re almost down, it’s fine. I also don’t know where we’re going,” Ranpo said, glancing at you briefly. “Do you have motion sickness or something?”

You gritted your teeth. “No. I’m fine. Just don’t get us to the main road or I might really die–”

“No problem. No clue where that is.”

You sighed. Cars and traffic lights didn’t sound like they’d go well with you both right now. You could get by pretty okay with general directions, so you’d be fine so long as you kept away from any vehicles. An idea formed in your mind as Ranpo slowed down by the end of the road.

“Take a left here,” you said, calming your breathing. Ranpo nodded.

You got the hang of it by your third or fourth crossing, careful to keep by residential buildings rather than risk your luck. You knew you were heading in the right direction at least. You had silently hoped Ranpo would drop the candy shop idea, there was barely time for that, and it seemed the case he was more amused by chatting aimlessly as he pedalled along to your directions. You barely listened to him at the start but as the minutes went by you found yourself relaxing, bit by bit, his words serving as a distraction.

Knowing Ranpo, it might have been on purpose. Or not. He rarely cared for such things, but you still found yourself smiling gently at the possibility. He could be nice when he wants to.

“Hey, where now? You look spacy back there, should I bring up the speed?” Ranpo asked, snorting at your quick stammer of absolutely not, don’t you dare, Ranpo!

Buildings and streets soon turned into nestled playgrounds amongst trees, and the number of benches with senior citizens gossiping about their day brought about a peaceful change of scenery as you entered one of the bigger parks. You breathed a sigh of relief. You were pretty near by now.

Ranpo whistled absently, looking about. “You know, just when I was thinking we’d spare the grandmas.”

You laughed despite yourself. “Okay okay, I’m sorry for panicking earlier. We’ve been doing pretty great so far, let’s keep it at that.”

“Hmm.” Ranpo stretched back, moving your body with his as you got a mouthful of hair in your face. “Only because I saved the day here. It’s exhausting being in the front.”

“Why, do you want to switch places?” You said, shaking his hair from your face.

The bike slowed down as Ranpo’s green eyes stared back at you. “Obviously. But that also means I’ll have to suffer the consequences. Don’t wanna.” He flopped back, fully resting against your front as he pouted.

You weren’t used to that much proximity with him, but then again his disregard for personal space had always been pretty much there. “Just a bit more, we’re almost there, you know.”

“Bleh.”

“Come on, come on,” you said as you began poking him incessantly in the cheek. He batted your hand away and you laughed. “I promise I’ll know how to ride a bike in case of a next time.”

Ranpo sighed dramatically, but picked up the speed. “I still haven’t forgotten about the snacks. You owe me, you know.”

You rolled your eyes. What a big baby. “Yep, they’ll be on me. So long as you get us on time.” You poked him again for emphasis.

“Hey!” Ranpo grabbed your hand, drawing it back to its place around his torso. “And you stay there, sheesh.”

You nestled back on his shoulder, hiding the grin spreading on your lips. He was pretty fun to tease.

Ranpo eyed you, and then after a pause– “Meeting’s gonna be a bore. I’ll give 15 minutes tops and we’re out of there, you hear? That’d be enough for you to find a pastry nearby, right?”

“Wait, now?” You had thought more along the lines of ‘bring him some chocolates next time at work’ type of situation. This did catch you off guard.

“Duh, and don’t lose the bike,” he said, matter of fact. “Might as well educate you on how not to run into trees. Or children.” That was accompanied by your yelp after a risky manoeuvre around a group of running children.

This… wasn’t something you expected. You tried to look closer at Ranpo’s face but he kept his gaze straight ahead, features neutral save for a light flush that had spread on his cheeks. He was rather handsome, now that you think about it. And as annoying as he could be, you found yourself wondering what else you could learn about him.

Life was about trying out things, wasn’t it? “If you make fun of me again I swear to you Ranpo Edogawa, I will eat all of the snacks I’m bringing.”

“Hey, now! That’s mean.”

“I’m paying for them, mister. You’ve been warned.”

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