#dictionarian

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Assorted Bazooka Facts, For a Loved One or those of Other Similar Alignment, Suitable for Intravenous Administration

Bazookas are called "Bazookas" because they are things that Bazook.

Dictionarians were quite grateful upon their invention, because it put an end to a longstanding and at times very heated debate about what things that Bazook'd should be called.

The casualties from The Great Bazooking were greater than the numbers inflicted by the weapon itself.

The violence inspired one onlooker to attempt to create the first version of a Nationalised Health Service. Except they tried to create it entirely out of papier mâché, which worked up to a point, that point being the point where it was apparent that it wouldn't work at all because it was made entirely out of papier mâché.

Possible links between bazookas and kazoos are theorised, but yet to be studied in depth, because the genetics of the domesticated kazoo are too dissimilar to their wild-counterparts, and no samples of the latter have lasted long enough in containment to be analysed.

The original bazooka was the size and shape of a moderately-sized car, although that moderately-sized car was the size and shape of a bazooka.

Bazooking was named after its inventor, Harold Bazook. He was named such because he was the inventor of bazooking. This caused some confusion for the first 33 years of his life, as no-one knew what bazooking was yet.

Some people have alleged that, rather than a distinct phenomenon of its own, bazooking is actually a regional variant of hornswoggling. These people are wrong, and should feel bad about themselves, and will not be missed.

There is a forbidden form of bazooking. It is done only by moonlight, on the days not listed on the calendar, when the gods are not watching. Its purpose is esoteric, and it exacts a heavy price.

Bazookas taste like a combination of garlic and ketchup, if served with a suffcient quantity of garlic and ketchup.

No-one has ever seen a fully matured bazooka and lived to tell the tale.

Some bazookas will pretend to care about your personal life.

Prior to widespread adoption of writing, ancient cultures had no way to spell the word "bazooka". The only available alternative was to glue a bazooka to a piece of paper, and write the remaining text around it. The exorbitant postage fees that resulted were a significant factor in the collapse of the Olmec civilization.

Bazookas are better at maths than people expect.

A bazooka is probably not behind you right now. On the off chance that it is, your best bet is to pretend that it isn't.

The largest bazooka on record is the size of a very large bazooka.

The earliest recorded use of a bazooka was not recorded. The record-keeper involved was given a 3-year sentence in the punishment cube.

Bazookas cannot open doors, but are exceptionally capable of convincing people to open doors for them. Awareness of this fact is insufficient to avoid falling prey to it.

Do not challenge a bazooka to chess. You can win, but you will not be able to bare the cost.

Bazookas can distinguish friend from foe. They just choose not to.

Bazookas probably haven't implanted hypnotic suggestions inside innocuous lists of bazooka facts.

And if they had, they'd probably have hypnotised you to think they hadn't. So if you thought they had, then they haven't.

So they probably haven't.

If your bazooka has 4 fingers and thumb, that might not be your bazooka; it might be your hand.

Unless it's actually your bazooka.