#dex based characters also have abs in art all the time

[a-heart-of-kyber]

I need to put this into the world, but Gale's abs don't bother me...or more like I can get why they're there for 2 reasons; 1) I've heard enough stories about those who strive for what are essentially show abs to know they can actually be weak af. I had brothers in sports during the 90s, I have witnessed things. and 2) Um...this is darkish, darker?

but I figured he always made his body into what Mystra wanted. With his people pleaser personality, it tracks. Particularly when you see the Drow twins and realize that he is not exactly comfortable with himself and he's uncomfortable with the whole situation. Being depressed for a year pre-game could've made him double down on his needing to look perfect for Mystra mindset in part as an additional form of punishment.

Anyways, fuck Mystra.

This is all headcanon bs and, as a plus-sized person, I am in full support of pudgy Gale and especially post game I have healed pudgy Gale. Let him be fat! And let it be utterly joyful as well!

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

out of context of course, what do you take me for? a sane person?

"they made lightning mcqueen hot"

"inch resting"

"Nix: Cars (2006) several people are typing..."

"im evaporating"

"enjoy precipitation"

"tow mater is more attractive than lightning mcqueen/hj"

"lightning mcqueen looks like he would call me a slur"

"why did I come back to a discussion regarding the attractiveness of vehicles"

"lark is the braincell of shiftblr tbh"

"you all need some grass in your life"

"me over here simping for block men and now literal cars"

"didn't nick wilde commit fraud canonically"

"i have no strong opinions on whether or not nick wilde is attractive"

"I AM AROMANTIC AND I AM NOT IMMUNE TO NICK WILDE"

"I am bisexual and I. Am not into Nick Wilde based on a simple fact he looks like he will drink all my pepsi and call me names"

"What is shiftbkr but not a bunch of simps"

"cries in Bianca Monroe"

"listen i have a folder called gayass

it is mostly pictures of kyoka jiro and virgil sanders"

"Nick Wilde x Reader where he steals your car 📷 carjacker to lovers AU 📷"

"he says "mama i like to step on keyboard""

"MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND I HAD TO TELL HER I WAS LOOKING AT LIGHTING MC QUEEN HUMAN FANART"

"crab walks away"

""Y/N..." Nick whispered into your ear. "Your car...is a Honda Civic, right?" You looked up at Nick with a baffled expression. "Nick, my beloved? Whatever are you talking about?" "Just asking..." He said as he let you out of his embrace. "Hey, wanna see a magic trick, babe?" Your eyes sparkled. "Really, Nick? Of course!" Nick smiled. "Ok, close your eyes!" You giggled and closed your eyes, waiting for Nick to tell you to open up. Instead, you heard the loud rumble of a car starting up, and you open your eyes. Nick has stolen your car, and he has driven off into the sunset..."

"did y'all know his name used to be canonically Montgomery--he changed it to lightning mcqueen to get rid of his past"

"That is my exit number"

"cars trauma arc"

"wait do y'all know about car jesus" "as if jesus wasn't a ford focus in the bible"

"oh yall do not want to know about the trauma in my cars dr lmao"

"Dewit tau style babey make Lightning McQueen outlive everyone and stalk their reincarnations"

"Do they baptize other cars in like gasoline then"

"there is a pope car in the cars universe which means car jesus died for cars sins"

"NOT THE BOOMER MEMES"

"-lays facedown on the floor while caramelldansen plays-"

"like im serious how many of you guys endorse me falling face down on my floor" (NOT THE SAME PERSON AS PREVIOUS QUOTE)

"I will be Tall and no one can stop me"

"is a soft floor?"

"stop I thought faceplant meant like a succulent in the shape of a face instead of falling onto your noggin for a solid 10 seconds"

"Touch some grass??? What about eating grass"

"what if for every employee of the month i just printed out really horrible boomer memes"

"what ab smoking grass /j"

"Can the grassdirt smoothie be a special in the cafe"

"PLEASE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR REWRITINH THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE WHIKE SPEEDRUNINT MINECRAFT"

"you have to get good dirt from like the middle of a pennsylvanian forest for it to taste good though"

"I ate a four leaf clover as a kid cause i thought it would make me lucky"

"guys how do i see the mee6 leaderboard"

"I used to think i was half dragon and I ate plants out of sidewalk cracks"

"i think i punched someone"

"my parents told me to stop doing that so I looked at them and ate a flower"

"I ate grass when I was 9 bc I read warrior cats and thought I was a medicine cat ....................."

"bees are just spicy flies"

"I had a mental breakdown when I was three cause I didn’t know how to turn off a phone"

"My mom drank a bee once"

"when I was a baby I kinned ink sans."

"bro who here find the yellow hat man from curious george fine as heck 📷📷📷"

"mY LUNGSSSSSS"

"no one topping Him"

"I like em big"

"I think Moto Moto has no game like move over hunky boy I could beat you 1v1 Roblox Arsenal 📷📷📷"

"If you didnt have a crush on springtrap, jeff the killer, or Underfell/Gaster/Error sans don't talk to me /j"

"LOOK THEY'RE BOTH DILFS WITH ABS THAT WOULD FIGHT GOD"

"ZORO IS BANNED"

"Guys please help I found my old fnaf fanart from when I was 8 I'm in literal tears"

"OH NO BOT MY FIFTH GRADE HAMILTON PHASE"

"The worst attraction ive ever had has to be Sombra Overwatch"

"My family is like "save all ur art so I can sell it when you're famous" I literally could not sell this if I tried"

"screaming puppet"

"I just remembered Ive drawn overwatch/hamilton crossover fanart"

"my hermit crabs ate each other again"

"we're cannibals ????"

"having me here is a curse you have inflicted on yourselves and I for one am glad for it <3" "scitters around like a crab in anticipation"

"CARB DAY"

"WE NEED TO HAVE A WATCH OARTY"

"hey y'all ill be right back i have to throw away a crab carcass"

"if I watch cars I'm going to start laughing in the middle of it nonstop just because the word cars is funny and also cars are funny like how do you move silly little metal box with rubber circles"

"Lark asleep post catboy pitbul"

"Mwista Wowldwide! Nya!" "hermit crab 2: electric boogaloo"

"Is that why your name is chaos"

"manifest the crab power!!"

"cool dex fact: i can't read 📷"

"sighs adds to worship these entities list"

"with a knife <3"

"yeah and if he betrays me I could probably throw him across the atlantic ocean"

"give me his eyes"

"my good citizen i am a- wait no im nonbinary nvm"

"it worked on a fish idk what to tell you"

"what is gender??? Is that a board game?? If so can I be apples to apples that one's my favorite"

"CHUTES AND LADDERS"

"anyways actually my gender is Candyland"

"Oh god romes the destroyer of friendships/j"

"i am a simple gay i see math i run in the opposite direction survival instincts 101"

"math my beloathed"

"algebra makes me want to rip open a bag of swedish fish and swallow them whole"

"cackles in they're au characters and this will be very fun"

"pog !!!! me too ksajgks one of my drs is a sanders sides au"

"Is that bipper"

"tumblr sexyman"

"Good because he’ll fuck u up if u hurt a child"

"I want a wing-suit"

"looks like a bean would poison someone"

"my hermit crabs are cannibals what can i say"

"sonic the hedgehog kinnie"

"get yourself a man who is capable of the most ungodly actions but won't do them because of their morality owo"

"tell him he can steal my wallet"

"eyes"

"idk about y'all but I need blueberry sweet tea to live"

"y'know the red souls from soul eater i really want to eat those"

"but like only respectable crimes like stealing from elon musk"

"You can go cultbashing with he!"

"He acts like a flamboyant gay man, but if a flamboyant gay man was straight."

"Simp Satan 📷"

"definitely arson"

"They look like they enjoy lemon squares and other lemon desserts"

"Satan is all-powerful but he spends most of his time building honeymoon locations because he is convinced that the protag loves him"

"bc shes the reincarnation of his dead wife or something i guess"

annd here's a quote from our very own dream (@shiftingwastaken) that sums this post up:

"shiftblr but context makes it worse"

[loversandantiheroes]

Sorry, I thought about bodytype/appearance hc for Dragon Age crew.

Ah! I see, sorry!  I can’t say that’s something I’ve really thought about, especially by the time you get to da:i, where the brunt of my interest lies.  By that point they were at least getting used to the idea of "people look different and also do not have yaoi hands.”

Seriously what the fuck was with everybody’s hands in Origins.

(my kingdom for a gif of Cullen going “The stuff of nightmares.”)

Lemme see what I can rattle out here.

Blackwall:  A little torn.  On the one hand I just wanna toss my hands up and yell “BARA” and be done with it.  But given the way he’s been living since taking up the Blackwall name, I reckon he’s probably a little more on the rangey side these days.  He’s still got the frame that says he was a big guy, though.  A bit Jeffrey Dean Morgan after he lost all that weight a few years back.  Not terribly tall, though.  About average, 5′8″ ish.

Cassandra: Not sure why, but I feel like she’s long.  Near-to if not over 6′.  Figure otherwise is about as depicted in game, though it doesn’t do justice to the frankly terrifying muscle tone on this woman.  Fucking shredded.

Cole: 5′11″ish.  Ruler-straight from shoulder to heel.  All but disappears sideways - even when he’s not trying to.  Eventually does round out a bit if you encourage him to be more human.  

Dorian: 5′10″ and surprisingly muscular given he’s a mage.  I feel Tevinter might have a few more martial disciplines they pair with their magic than is common in Ferelden and the Marches (save of course for the knight-enchanter sorts).  Absolutely has a bubble butt.  Absolutely is proud of it.

Iron Bull:  There is literally nothing I can add to that character model.  Except maybe that arm canon that was in concept art.  That woulda been cool.  But yeah no, his design is too unique for me to really squiggle around.  And like, yeah.  Well over 7′.  Has to be.

Sera: She’s another one with a surprisingly unique character model.  Much curvier and more in line with human proportions than the elves we’ve seen to date.  I’m pretty ok with that, as it at least gives us the option of imagining that not every elf in this universe is a toothpick with googly eyes. 5′5″-ish or thereabouts.

Solas: I can’t help but think about golden thigh cladding.  What even was that armor?  Someone worked out how to spin gold into spandex, I guess.  Anyway.  Tall for an elf.  About on par with Dorian or Cole.  Wiry as hell.

Varric: The Littlest Bara.  On the upper end of Dwarven height.  4′10″ maybe.  I won’t contest the gunshow DA:I decided on (I’m not a monster), but I will contest the abs.  I will absoLUTELY contest the abs.  There’s just no way.

Vivienne: Only about 5′8″ or so.  But then you add heels and a hat and the posture, and well, it adds up.  Fit but very much not muscular.

Bonus Advisor round!

Cullen: Ah.  The noodle.  A bit over 6′, maybe 6′2″ tops.  Probably a wee bit bulkier than the game’s basic model.  Also, probably going a bit ropey during his time in the Inquisition.  There is no way that man is eating that well with an army to run on top of the recovering lyrium addiction.

Josephine: A little bit soft.  Just a bit.  She’s rushed off her feet almost constantly due to her position, so the occasional indulgence of Orlesian petit fours doesn’t leave her needing to get her clothes re-tailored. 5′5″ish.

Leliana: 5′7″.  The wiriest of the wiry.  She doesn’t look anywhere near as strong as she is, and it’s a little terrifying.  Behold the dex-based min/maxer.