#devyn's shit post

[vahrid]

something something THE PARALLELS something something

[devynsshitposts]

Well shit dude…..I didn’t know I needed Henry Cavill in an apron, but here we are 🤷🏽‍♀️

[golbrocklovely]

I myself am trying to catch up on this corey stuff. I'm so lost

okay, i'm gonna give the quickest of rundowns on this whole thing.

aka i watched elton's video so everyone doesn't have to lol

so to give the slightest bit of backstory, corey left tfil/overnight/haunted homies a couple months back. he then came out with a video in april saying that the reason he left is bc he wants to pursue other ventures, in particular sketch comedy bc that's so timely. but he also said he would still be doing ghost hunting, just not with elton. around this time he also unfollowed elton, and devyn on her secret twitter was shitting on elton in some way (but idk what she said bc it's private). him and devyn have also started back up their old channel where they ghost hunt. and corey... i think... has posted some vlogs or whatever here and there on his main channel. but idk for certain since i don't watch him.

now, for some reason, elton has decided to clear the air on what happened with him and corey bc his leaving was very abrupt and confused a lot of fans.

imma just bullet point this list as best i can bc wow does that man love to talk and say almost nothing for over an hour.

THIS IS ALL ALLEGED, I'M JUST QUOTING WHAT ELTON SAID

elton alluded to corey possibly being the reason why the beef with snc lasted so long; mostly bc corey loves talking shit on ppl he's collabed with in the past. and full on would tell elton not to recollab with certain paranormal ppl bc. in particular, exploring with josh (who was also surprised to find out corey shit talked him since he commented "what" on elton's video)

the main portion of the video was solely to explain that while corey allegedly claims to be broke or not have made much money off of the overnight channel/tfil, elton very much begs to fucking differ

corey would get paid roughly $10k A WEEK during investigations, trips, whatever. elton also stated that he would pay anyone that would go on trips with them, roughly $2500 for the day, but that would fluctuate depending on the circumstances.

corey technically made over half a mil a year for the past couple years bc of elton paying him to be on the channel. elton also stated that corey makes more than elton on the channel bc elton basically pays for everything while corey has no stake in the claim.

corey did literally no work bts whatsoever. never suggested any places to go to, never paid for anything (not the hotel, driving, booking of spots, ect), and then on top of it never did any work like editing, getting ghost equipment, research. elton did everything, but would pay corey 50% since he was the other person on the channel mainly.

corey would flake out of a lot of things last minute for unknown reasons. or when they would discuss things to do/places to go, he would just not do it or go. and sometimes this would play out on camera, and to elton's justification, is why he would seem to "force" corey to do things. basically bc it was agreed on beforehand, only for corey to not do it once they got there.

during a charity livestream that was supposed to last for about a week (if not longer), corey claimed to feel ill, did nothing to help himself, and then left the charity livestream early.

then the fans that donated the most during that stream were supposed to fly out and meet elton and corey (all expenses paid by elton himself). corey decided last minute not to meet fans. elton then had to give refunds to some ppl who had wanted to meet corey.

corey would get a cut of the shares when it came to merch as well. even tho he wouldn't design it, be the one paying to ship it out, nothing. they created the haunted bundles that they did on the tfil site just so corey could make more money.

elton got rid of some of his staff just so corey could make more money/be paid more

the haunted homies tour that they did, elton planned all of it and created it bc corey wanted to do more funny bits instead of all of the haunted stuff. bc… it was corey's dream to eventually end up on snl. no, i am not joking. that is something elton actually claims corey wants lol

the second haunted homies tour, the one with matt rife, corey was contractually obligated to post about it/tell their editor in time what clips he would want to repost on his accounts. corey never did that/would take too long to get back to them on what he wanted, and then would later ask for certain clips to be removed from the vids long after the video was already up.

elton gifted $10k to corey bc he claimed to need more money… even after all of this shit played out

they had to make less content last year bc of how often corey would just not do projects with him/would flake out last minute

at the beginning of this year, elton had a bunch of tfil trips planned, with overnight videos in between also being filmed. basically had it laid out that they would only have to film for the first couple months, and then pick up filming again in october. so almost the entire year was planned out. he was just waiting for corey to sign off on it.

elton travels to some place (i'm blanking on it now) and then gets a single text from corey that says "hey man, i've wanted to bring this up for a while, but this year i'm gonna pull back from overnight and just focus on myself" with no explanation or conversation. and since that text, he has basically ghosted elton irl and online. but has apparently been saying things to friends in common that old roommates (like elton and whoever else all lived with them these past couple years) has stole shit from him, ect. and in general, he has been talking shit on elton bts.

i think that's everything i can remember off the top of my head that elton alleged. if i remember anything else, i'll add it. but this was pretty much a good chunk of the vid.

basically, the general gist is corey had one job: show up and make money. and he couldn't even do that lol

[gotmyass2marz]

🖊️ren ‼️‼️‼️‼️

YEEEEAAAAAHHHH BABYYYYYYYY ITS RENNIN TIME‼️‼️‼️‼️ seeing all the mutuals rb that one post withthe gore art of him made me realize how many of my mutuals dont know him ……….so now i get 2 explain ren lore 2 all the new enjoyers of him ^_^_^_^ yaaaayyyyy

SO BASICALLY for the first like 16 years of his life he was just Some Guy .tmasc insect lover with a dogshit home life that hed always SOMEHOW manage to survive .very very suicidal and self deprecating ((HEY hey stop that :o( )) but he was able to keep it together for a while because of his Cool And Awesome bf devyn :o)) yaaayyy ((ihavent made a design for him yet .but i will eventually))

BUT HEEERRREEESS THE KICKER .i havent figured out how yet but devyn fuckingdies . and as expected ren finally loses his shit and uhhhhhh does the thing thats shown in that gore art

heres where shit gets Stupid ………a few hundred years in the future after some magic bs happens to the human race he comes back from the grave as that Blue Ghost Thang ((this guy)) and manages to become this fuckin .harbinger of doom because hes just THAT upset at the universe . most of his bullshit involves possessing people and making them do unspeakable things

and devyn actually becomes the opposite of that !!!!!! he becomes this Funky Purple Angel named divvi ((purpleboy in this pic)) who lives inside an amulet and becomes the guardian angel of whoever wears that amulet .swag as hell

and after a toooonnnn of bullshit involving ren possessing abunch of different people and becoming like .the ultimate lifeform at one point ((doesnt last long tho like at all)) one of the people he possessed ((named hiro , this guy)) ends up being like . very forgiving towards him and resurrects him . HOWEVER hiro isnt really that skilled in the field of resurrection so he doesnt come back to life unscathed . he kinda just becomes a goofy zombie boy ((this guy))

ren and devyn/divvi DO end up reuniting btw :o)))) the last person who had the amulet passes it down to ren so they can talk and be cute togehter again ^_^^_^_^ but its a mortal/immortal relationship so theyre still kinda like . doomed by the narrative .but hey

THERES ACTUALLY SOMETHING REEEEAAALLLYYY FUCKING FUNNY ABOUT THIS ENTIRE STORY THAT ONLY A SPECIFIC MUTUAL CIRCLE KNOWS ABOUT . but im not gonna say it . im gonna commit to the bit here

[survivorsfm]

*       ANONYMOUS   ASKED       :       havana  rose  liu,  chase  sui  wonders,  lola  tung  oooor  devyn  nekoda ??

HAVANA  ROSE !!!  PLEASE,  I  JUST—  okay.  sorry.  i  just  lost  my  shit  for  a  minute  there.  but  i’m  calm  now,  everything’s  in  order  *tries  to  tame  wild  hair*  and  yeah,  i’d  love  to  see  havana,  i  love  her,  i  love  her  so  much  i  need  her  pretty  eyes,  her  pretty  face,  her  soft,  soft  hair  around  to  admire  please  *pleading  emoji  intensifies  to  guilt  trip  u*  but !   if  you  need  another  preference  i’d  also  love  davyn  nekoda.  i’ll  let  this  post  open  in  case  our  members  have  a  different  choice,  they  can  voice  it.  <3

[ittybittydovahkiin]

me blocking a Long Positivity post: jfc I Know. thank u. I know. u dont need to make a separate drawing one by one for every single identity saying what each one is still allowed to do to be who they are. what theyre allowed to do is whatever the fuck they want. respect people and be safe this pride. congrats u did it. great post. ur done. u rly REALLY dont need to draw 5000 flags with a smiley on them and post them all in a line so it takes 20 years to scroll through. like seriously how tf are these annoying ass posts so powerful to yall? thats the only thing i can assume since yall reblog every one of them multiple times a day like????

[britswriting]

TikTok Prank Gone Wrong

Summary: Katrina decides she wants to do the pregnancy test TikTok trend where they all do a test and see if anyone is pregnant, but she buys a fake positive pregnancy test and has that be her stick so one of them says pregnant the only thing.. is two say pregnant

Request: No

Warnings: Small angst (?), Fluff, mention of abortion

Cursing: Once. It was an accident- I tried to keep this one shot clean lol

Pairing: Colby Brock x Fem!Reader

MC: Katrina Stuart, Y/N

Rate: Safe for all readers

Word Count: 859

A/N: I'm officially posting my work on Tumblr now after years of only writing a certain person on Wattpad - will be posting those later. Kinda scared, so we will see how this goes! Here is an imagine I wrote up last week, and my friend liked it so I decided to share!

Repost/translations: No

You can find this imagine on Wattpad here

Anywhere else, it is reposted without my consent, please report for stolen content!

You can find me here:

Wattpad

Sam and Colby fanpage

“Okay so I’m going to do the tiktok trend where we all pee on a stick and see if anyone is pregnant… The only thing is I bought off Amazon a fake positive test so one of them says positive to welcome the girls into a prank war! Shh!” She showed the pregnancy test before holding her pointer finger up to her mouth.

Katrina told Y/N, Devyn, Xepher, Cassie and Tara to go pee on the pregnancy stick, placing a cup in the middle of the room.

After about 10 minutes, the girls walked down and placed their sticks in the cup.

Everyone waited 5 minutes before Kat grabbed the cup, dumping out the stick.

She showed the sticks one by one before her eyes widened at the positive pregnancy test, quickly spinning around and saying “WHOSE PREGNANT?!” The rest of the girls' eyes went wide, their faces getting red.

“It can’t be me! I haven’t slept with anyone in months!” Xepher announced.

“Shit! Do we need to go buy more pregnancy tests?!” Kat spoke loudly.

“Is it just that one that says positive? Is it just one of us?” Tara asked, motioning to the few that were left to be looked at.

Humoring Tara, Kat grabbed the pregnancy sticks, showing the two negatives, smirking at the camera as she grabbed the third, but much to her surprise, it read positive.

Oh no…

And just like that, this was no longer funny.

“Oh my god!” Kat yelled, staring in disbelief at the pregnancy test. “No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! OH MY GOD” She screamed, the girls huddling around her to see the second pregnancy test reading pregnant.

“NO! WAIT! GUYS! I- WAIT!” Kat yelled, her hands starting to shake. “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE!” Katrina confessed, confusing the girls.

“What do you mean?” Y/N asked and Kat shook her head, the two pregnancy tests in front of her that read pregnant.

“I BOUGHT A FAKE ONE! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A PRANK! I bought one off Amazon that said pregnant, BUT ONE OF THEM ACTUALLY SAYS PREGNANT!” Kat held up the two tests, her hands visibly shaking.

“Wait, what?” Y/N asked, her face scrunching up a little bit.

“NO WE NEED TO GO TO CVS NOW!” Kat yelled, stopping the recording and holding the fake, and very real positive pregnancy tests.

Everyone was quiet for a minute, no one knew what to say.

One of their lives was going to change forever, all because of a dumb tiktok…

~

The girls bought more pregnancy tests, anxiously waiting for the next morning to hit. Apparently your morning pee was the best shot at the most accurate test results, so that morning each one of them ran to different bathrooms of the house, peeing on their stick and walking back, sticks in hand as they sat in Sam’s bedroom, the boys out of town filming for that week.

“Okay, now we wait. What are we going to do? One of us is pregnant” Cassie spoke up, staring at the pregnancy stick in front of her.

“Are any of you going to get abortions?” Tara asked quietly and Y/N shot her a glare. 

“How dare you even say that!” She snapped at Tara, her anxiety levels skyrocketing the longer she waited.

“I mean, not all of us are ready for babies” Tara said and Y/N shook her head, her hands running along her thighs, wiping some of the sweat off.

Five minutes passed slowly, and silently, and the second that timer went off, all the girls were glued to their own sticks. 

There was multiple sighs of relief and breathy “thank god”’s… but one of them never spoke up

“Y/N?” Devyn asked and all she did was shake her head, tears welling up, making her eyesight blurry.

“It’s okay Y/N!” Cassie consoled but Y/N shook her head, the tears now streaming down her face.

“What am I going to do?” She whispered, her shoulders shaking as sobs escaped her body, tear droplets falling on the white stick.

“Colby loves kids Y/N, he’s going to be so excited!” Kat tried to reassure her, but she wasn’t having it.

“NO! You don’t get it! He doesn’t want kids right now, neither does Sam! JUST YESTERDAY HE SAID HE DIDN’T KNOW IF HE WANTED TO GET MARRIED! How am I supposed to tell him I’m pregnant! We haven’t even been together a year!” Y/N cried and the girls huddled around her, trying to give her a hug but Y/N shoved them off of her, snatching the stick and quickly exiting the room, the door slamming behind her.

“It was just supposed to be a funny tiktok…”

Thought of on: April 14th 2022

Written on: April 14th 2022

Published on: April 23rd 2022

Part Two

[the-timeless-founder]

okay so in the post about dong hwa’s military career and like work ethic stuff i pretty much hinted at the first time he and sae met and i want to ask you two things, your choice which one you want to answer <3 you can also ignore it if you want

1. saeclus’ point of view in that whole meeting and like after meeting thoughts about dong hwa ( that i think you kinda did in the perceive for dong hwa and this might be a stupid ask)

2. your take on a friendship between sae and dong hwa that would’ve started when they were younger and how do you think that would affect his current relationship with devyn

love you <3

Hello again, love! I would absolutely love to answer it all for you <3

Saeclus and Dong Hwa

For some context, I will refer you to this ask.

The first time they met was at the meeting where Dong Hwa was introduced internationally. This was in the rising of the subclans, but the First Bloods still held most of the power.

As such, this was the first time he and Saeclus would meet in person and eye to eye.

The fact that Dong Hwa arrived late and still had the audacity to act up to everyone he met in the room was as off-putting to Saeclus as it was delightful.

On one hand, he didn't enjoy what - he assumed to be - a lack of dedication to deadlines, and on the other, watching him demean those arrogant fools who thought they were hot shit despite their many failures was also so fun.

He sat at his table, waiting for the round to be made at his turn quietly while he sipped on some wine. His eyes followed the newly appointed High General thoughtfully, smiles appearing on his face every time he saw the way he treated people who were truly not worth their station.

When it was his turn to meet with Dong Hwa, he smiled and greeted him as he would a peer. Not so high and mighty as to seem snotty, but also not soft enough to seem like a push over.

Surprisingly - and fortunately - Dong Hwa decided that he would rather sit with Saeclus rather than the other men in the room.

They were rather close in age, worth their whiles, and Dong Hwa said that Saeclus didn't smell like a hot pile of garbage, so that was nice. For the first and last time, the other generals saw Saeclus chuckle on his wine during a meeting like this.

Dong Hwa and Saeclus had entirely different outlooks on life and goals, but that was what kept their conversation interesting and going the whole night.

Saeclus also found it funny that Dong Hwa got a little frustrated over the fact that he was becoming tipsy but Saeclus didn't seem affected at all, even though they were drinking the same amount.

Saeclus would complain about corrupt officials and Dong Hwa would trashtalk theirs and say how he was gonna put them all in their place. It was kind of inspiring to Saeclus honestly.

Despite how different the two of them are on so many levels, they found a common ground in the fact that they both hated corrupt and worthless authorities and wanted to change their respective kingdoms for the better.

Saeclus definitely knew about Dong Hwa and Walburga - may or may not have made a few jokes about Dong Hwa's playboy tendencies coming to an end - and supported Dong Hwa regardless of that.

I think they had a long period during which they were distant due to multiple reasons though.

For one, I think that after Walburga's death, Dong Hwa wasn't big on seeing or speaking to any First Bloods for a while. And Saeclus, while available in case he needed him, decided to give him the space he needed.

And with the growing power of the Vampires, and the other subspecies but mostly the Bat Clan, Saeclus was expected to keep to the First Bloods and he tried to have them establish more diplomatic relationships. Which didn't go well because he is working within a systematic hierarchy of useless douchebags but anyway.

Regardless, he was expected to keep away from the Vampires, both for his own sake and for others.

And the first Great Demon War just made everything a whole lot worse.

And by that point, they had been distant enough that Saeclus didn't even find out who Devyn is or ever get to meet her until she was a fully fledged adult working in court.

I like to think they will reconnect after Devyn and Saeclus get married, I'd love to explore that avenue with you!

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Hide and Seek (Colby Brock Imagine)

Summary: *REQUEST* omg what about Colby helping the reader hide in a laundry basket during hide and seek and she wins 😳✨

Written: 2020

Word Count: 1,611

Warnings: mention of death, minor fluff, swearing

Masterlist

I’m laying flat on my back eating the pizza we ordered. I feel my head being lifted and placed in someone’s lap. I shift my eyes up and meet Colby’s eyes. I furrow my eyebrows and glare at him. He really has the audacity to interrupt me during pizza time.

“Don’t get mad at me. If you choke on death while eating pizza, I’m not saving your dumbass. I keep telling you to not eat laying down, Y/N.” Colby says kissing my forehead.

“If I die eating pizza, at least I’ll die doing something I love,” I shout before shoving another bite of pizza in my mouth.

“I’m something you love, why not go out doing me?” Colby asks smirking.

“For the love of God and all things holy, please get a room. This Air BnB is full of them.” Corey screams from the couch.

Everyone got together for the week and chipped in on an Air BnB. We each chose days and what videos we would film for everyone’s channel. Even Mike is here, which I thought would be more awkward than it is because Xepher and Griffin are here too. Corey and Devyn are here too, but that is less awkward than it is with that trio. The fact that we were able to get the whole family together is amazing.

We’ve gotten together for some group videos, but because the pandemic was happening at the time so we tried to keep it to less than ten people. But now that all of that is over, we figured we would surprise our fans with a slew of group videos. They don’t even know that we’re here. We all planned by taking photos and videos before we left so we can post on our stories and everyone will think we’re at home, not hanging out together. 2020 was stressful, 2021 is going to be better for all of us, so we’re getting our fans in the right mindset.

“Everyone almost done? It’s dark enough now so we can get ready to film my videos.” Sam says as he starts to grab the empty pizza boxes. Kat helps him by grabbing the empty bottles.

I shove the rest of my pizza in my mouth and shoot up. Colby stares at me in disbelief and shoves my drink in my mouth.

“My God, woman, people are going to start thinking I starve you at home. I’m not joking about letting you choke. Eat like a normal person, please.” I manage to swallow what I had left in my mouth and smile.

“I’m sorry babe, you know how much I love pizza. I’ll be much more careful this week, I promise.” I kiss Colby’s cheek and go help everyone clean up.

Everyone is lined up for Sam’s videos. Of course, we’re playing hide and seek AND playing the mafia game. I have yet to win either game, but I am dead set on winning hide and seek. I found the perfect hiding spot earlier when we were filming Kevin’s video earlier. I’m so excited, Colby is holding my hand to try to get me to stop bouncing off the walls. It’s not working. I think this has something to do with the five cups of coke that I drank earlier. That’s a lot of caffeine. I hope I can stay still in my hiding spot.

“Okay everyone, you guys have 15 minutes once I close the door to find a hiding spot. Remember, you can only move once.” Sam explains before leaving us alone.

I pull Colby’s hand and drag him upstairs. When we get to the room that Colby and I chose to stay in, I let go of his hand and take off my jacket.

“I like the idea, but we don’t have enough time.” Colby jokes.

“No— I need your help. Empty the hamper.” I say quickly as I open the cabinet door and showing him the built-in hamper. It was already full when we got here, and it’s bolted to the wall. Sam can’t pick it up and hopefully, he won’t move the clothes. It’s the perfect spot.

“First of all, that’s disgusting, those are other people’s clothes and we don’t know how long it’s been here. Second, you’re going to suffocate. You really do have a death wish tonight, don’t you?” Colby turns on the lights so I can see him

“Do you really want to talk about death wishes, Mr. X.P.L.R. in dangerous places every day? Besides, I thought of all that. Just help me. I want to win this time. Pretty please?” I pull out all the clothes and give Colby the old puppy dog eyes.

“Fine, but you’re going to owe me big time. And I’m going to text you every few minutes so you don’t die.” I jump up and run back into the room. I position my shoes so it looks like I’m hiding under the bed. I grab the tape and a towel before running back to Colby. I empty the contents of my jacket pocket into the hamper.

I turn to Colby so he can help me climb in. He scoops me up and places me gently in the basket.

“Hand me the towel, please. It’s my only buffer with the dirty clothes.” I explain, pointing to the towel.

“That’s a great idea babe, but how are you going to breathe? Or not pass out from the heat?” Colby asks as he starts to cover me with the towel.

“Don’t worry, this is why I’ve been stealing straws all night and took off my jacket. Before you ask, I stole some water and snacks so I should be good for an hour or two. Make sure you cover me well and close the doors.”

“I hope my next girlfriend isn’t a crazy dumbass,” Colby mutters as he places the dirty laundry on me.

“You’re next what now?” I move the towel and sit straight up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll wait at least a year after you’re gone. I’ll mourn you every day. I’ll name my next dog after you.” Colby is smirking, trying not to laugh.

“Okay, after tonight, we’re having a serious talk about your fascination with my death. Also, you name a dog after me, I’m haunting your ass when I actually do die. Now hurry up, time is almost out and you still have to h—” Colby throws the towel back over my head and dumps a whole bunch of clothes on me.

“I’m kidding and I love you!” Colby yells before shoving more clothes on me.

A few minutes later I feel Colby stop putting clothes on top of me. I look at my phone and see that Colby has about 5 minutes left to find a hiding place. I slide down and comfortably position myself. It’s already getting hot in here, maybe Colby was right. Like I would ever tell him that. His head is already big enough, I don’t need to fuel his ego anymore. I pull out my AirPods and turn on my favorite playlist to keep me occupied for however long I’m going to be in there. I get a text from Colby saying that he found a spot and asking me how I was. I reply to Colby and film my perspective of where I am for Sam’s video before closing my phone to save battery. This is going to be a long night, I can already tell.

****

“Y/N, wake up, this isn’t funny anymore.” Someone, I think Colby, yells as they shake me.

I rub my eyes and yawn before opening one eye. Sam and Colby stand over me, shining a light in my face.

“Did I win?” I ask sitting up and stretching.

“Oh my God! You little shit…” Colby falls back on the floor and mutters a slew of swear words to himself.

“Yeah, Y/N you won. And gave all of us heart attacks in the meantime.” Sam explains helping me out. Aryia, who was probably holding the camera, also helps me out.

Colby is standing up now and helping me get my stuff out of the bottom of the hamper. I notice the camera on the camera and do a cute pose in front of it. I’m not sure if I passed out from the heat or fell asleep because I was tired. Either way, I’m super sweaty now and I have never loved being out in the open more than I do now.

Sam and Ariya start to head downstairs, and I start to follow them until I feel Colby pull me back. I twirl around to face him. His eyes have a twinkle to them and the corner of his mouth are creeping towards his eyes. He has those crinkles that I love, the type he only gets when he smiles. He doesn’t do it much anymore, at least, not when we’re working. I see them a lot when we’re together, he hates them but I love them. It means he’s truly happy and it makes my heart full.

“What? Sam has to end his video.” I push Colby’s hair out of his eyes.

“Just wait a second. I know I joked a lot about you dying tonight, but when you stopped responding to my text and when I found you asleep in the bottom of the basket— No more stupid ideas for a while.” Colby kisses my forehead and strokes my hair.

“Fine, but you know that Jake and I are going to eventually cause chaos on this trip.” I kiss Colby’s cheek before going to join everyone downstairs.

[traumatizedtransmess]

Heads up that apparently if you reblog April’s content, you can’t be a mod on supportivespaceforsurvivors. 

“ Hi Krissy. This is Devyn from supportivespaceforsurvivors. I'm reaching out regarding your mod application. Myself and the other mods have discussed it, and we're not comfortable adding someone as a mod that reblogs/links to April's posts on their personal account. We would also like to request that you stop reblogging our content with links to her content, as we feel it is continuing to stir up drama that we have wanted to be done dealing with for months now. You have every right to continue to follow April and share her content on your personal blog, but please do not attach links to her content to posts from our blog. We hope you understand. Thanks, Devyn “

This was after I previously asked if it was ok to add her resources to posts that may be helpful. 

The blog has a right to boundaries but it is so shitty that in some cases they recommend resources that aren’t as good because they want nothing to do with a girl who started the original blog and not to mention that near the beginning, supportivespaceforsurvivors was posting aggressive content about April while she never said a thing about them. 

Either way. I want nothing to do with this blog because of a lot of other stuff I know from friends of how they’ve been treated by Devyn. 

Also the most recent ask the blog answered about April made up shit outright. 

*please don’t contact April or the blog about this. They get some rude asks they don’t deserve but I just want to be transparent here. 

[devynsshitposts]

Okay, I just saw a season 6 episode where Spencer buys a keyboard after playing the piano with an autistic kid and I'm now realizing, like why is there no fanfiction about this? Like he could compose something for the reader and it would be a shock but I also feel like it's something he would totally do?! I don't know, maybe it's just me.

[golbrocklovely]

corey’s gf devyn liked colby’s post but corey couldn’t? lollllllll i’m so done with him

can’t wait to watch his irrelevant ass fade into nothing now that he doesn’t have snc🥰

he kinda already has tho tbh i honestly forgot abt him before reading ur asks and i just checked his yt views and……yikes… dare i say karma?

i mean, elton and corey's views have been shit for a while now. not entirely sure why, but them (mostly elton) being petty constantly probably does not help their situation.

idk if i ever said it out loud on here, but i find it funny that none of snc's ex friends realize that every time they shit on snc or shade them or whatever, snc just get more famous and successful. it benefits snc a lot when old friends act rude towards them. idk why all the exes aren't picking that up yet but they should lol

[turnupbrock]

Preggers- Colby Brock

Requested by a wonderful anon, “Can you write some fluffy Colby please where y/n and him go out on a date and at the end of the night she reveals she’s pregnant then cute fluffy cuddling stuff, thank you ily💖” I’m so so sorry that it took so long to post but I realy hope you like it because i think that it is so cute. I love you babey!

You were shocked to say the least, but you were beyond happy. You were looking down at the little stick that has two lines on it, the little stick that just changed you and your husband’s lives forever when you heard the front door open, “Baby?” Colby’s voice rang throughout the house. You panicked and tossed the pregnancy test over your head and into the shower behind you, cringing at the sound of it bouncing off the walls and onto the floor. “Everything okay here?” Colby queried when he turned the corner with a small smile on his face. You let out a breathy giggle and nodded your head, “Yeah, yes. Everything is perfect.” your words came out faster than you wanted and you mentally cursed yourself for it. ‘Act natural. Everything is fine.’ You kept trying to tell yourself. ‘But it’s not fine. You’re pregnant and the test is literally two feet away from where you and Colby are both standing.’ Your subconscious decided to step in. 

 “Um, Y/n? You okay?” he waved his hand in front of your face. Finally you snapped out of the mental argument you were having and noticed that Colby looked worried. You relaxed and draped your arms around his waist, hugging him tight. “Everything is fine. I have to shower and get ready. I’m going to lunch with the girls but I’ll be home later.” you informed Colby still holding onto him. Colby furrowed his brows and squeezed you to him more, “Yeah that’s fine. Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked once more. The movement of your head nodding yes made him chuckle. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. You pull back with a sweet smile on your face, you lean up on your tip-toes and press a soft, loving kiss to Colby’s pink lips. You felt him smile into the kiss which made you mirror his actions. 

 “Okay I really need to get in the shower so get out so I won’t be distracted anymore,” You joked pushing Colby away from you. He laughed loudly, “Right, cause you just can't control yourself around me.” He smirked and winked at you. Rolling your eyes, you couldn’t help the smile that came to your face, “Can you?” you raised your eyebrow at your husband as your hands traveled down to the hem of your shirt, you started to lift. Colby was quick to throw his hands over his eyes, “Okay, I’m leaving damn. Stop that, I have a meeting to go to you and you have to go to lunch! Stop that.” he mumbled trying to feel his way to the door with one hand while the other still protected his eyes. You laugh when he stubbed his toe on the door frame. You could hear him cussing softly even after he closed the door. You shake your head and turn to the shower, leaning down you pick up the test from the shower floor and quickly stuff it into your makeup bag on the counter. 

“Hey girl, I really need to talk to you and all the other girls too. Do you think that we can invite them to lunch too please?” you asked Kat as you propped your phone on your vanity. Her face creased and concern passed over her face, “Yeah, of-of course. Is everything okay?” A wide smile pulled at your lips when the thought of you and Colby starting a family crossed your mind but you nodded your head, “Everything is perfect. I just need you guys to help me plan something.” Kat nodded again, “Yeah okay. I’ll go call all the girls and we’ll meet you at Chipotle right?” “Yes ma’am.” You answered as you applied mascara. “Okay, cya boo.’ “Bye boo!” and with that, Katrina hung up the phone and you continue putting on mascara. When you were done getting ready, you sent a text to Colby that you finally left the house and was on the way to lunch. You knew he wasn’t going to reply for a while since he was in a meeting with Sam. Grabbing your makeup bag and putting it into your purse, you headed out the door.

 Walking into the restaurant you could already see all your girlfriends sitting at a table in the back. Your heart starts racing the second that you take a step. You don’t know how they are going to react, if they think that you guys are too young but all those thoughts were shoved from your mind because you know that all of them will be happy for you and Colby no matter what. “Hey babe,” Kat greeted when you stopped at the table, “Hey,” you greeted back. After all of the hello’s were said to all of your friend’s you all went and ordered what you wanted. Sitting back at the table Kat spoke, “So are you gonna tell us what’s going on? You sounded pretty excited over the phone.” “Yeah, I really wanna know too.” Tara said. Devyn and Cassie chimed in their agreements too. Taking a deep breath, you look at all of your friends, “Okay, um-” You started but your voice was shaking. Taking another deep breath you started again, “This morning I took a pregnancy test because for the last couple of weeks I haven’t been feeling all too well and I kept getting sick in the mornings so I decided to finally take one just to put my mind at ease. And well, I didn’t expect it but I- I’m pregnant.” You confessed. Each of the girls' faces mirrored each other. The table was silent for a minute and that scared you. “Uh, guys?” You hesitantly asked. “Are you sure?” Tara finally broke the silence. You nodded, “Yeah. I took a test this morning when I first woke up then I took another one before I left the house and both of them turned out positive.”

  “Can- can we see them?” Devyn asked. You nodded again and reached into your bag and pulled out both of the tests and set them on the table. Kat picked one up while Devyn picked up the other one. “Holy shit you’re pregnant!” Katrina suddenly yelled, startling you and the others. The smile on her face was so comforting to see since you have been so nervous to tell anyone. “I’m so so happy for you!” Cassie cried before pulling you into a giant hug. “Really?” “Yes really, girl you’re gonna be a mommy and Colby is gonna be a daddy,” Devyn said hugging you after Cassie let you go. “You’re gonna be a damn good one,” Tara said hugging you after Dev. When Tara let you go, you gazed over at Kat- who was still bouncing on the balls of her feet. She squealed, “ I’m so fucking happy for you guys!” She grabbed you into a tight hug. Your emotions got the better of you and the tears started to prick your eyes. “Thank you guys so much.” You sniffled. Kat pulled away and wiped your eyes for you. “We’re all so happy for you,” She said again. “Does Colby know yet?” Tara asked sitting back down next to Cassie. You shook your head, “No, he doesn’t. That’s what I need your help for.” “You want us to help you find a way to tell him that you're pregnant?” You assured Cassie. “Let’s plan.” 

  After a couple of hours of planning, you guys finally came up with a way. “Hey baby,” you spoke into the phone once Colby picked up. “Hey gorgeous, What’s up?” “Well I was just wondering if you wanted to have a date night tonight? You know, we have both been so busy with work lately and we haven’t really had time to just hang out. You and me.” “Yeah, of course baby. I would love that. What were you thinking?” “Umm maybe we can pick up some take out and eat on the beach like we did when we first started dating?” You smiled when you heard Colby’s deep chuckle from the other side of the phone. “I would absolutely love that. I’ll be home in an hour.” “Okay, perfect. I’m just finishing up with girls so I’ll see you home.” “See you home, beautiful. I love you.” You felt your cheeks heat up, “I love you.” Then the line disconnected. Looking back up at your friends, you giggled at the way that they all were holding their chest. “Shut up,” you mumbled. The girls laughed with you, “Okay, you go home,” Kat said pointing to you. “Go get dressed for your date, nothing too fancy. Don’t want to give anything away. While you do that, we will go get the stuff to set up the house.” You nodded and smiled, grateful to have the friends you did. “Remember nothing that will give it away, just some candles and rose petals.” You told Kat again. She waved her hand in the air, “Yeah, yeah I get it. Now go.” you laughed and got into your car. 

 Colby laid down the blanket onto the sand and grabbed your hand to help you sit. “Why thank you,” you giggle once you settle on the blanket. Colby chuckled and started to get the food from the bags. You moaned lightly at the smell of Tender Greens that is seeping through the air, the light breeze wafting towards you. Colby dramatically widened his eyes at you, “You good?” You laughed, “I’m good but you won’t be if you don’t give me my food.” You playfully threatened. Colby shoved your food container into your lap and quickly raised his hand in defense making you laugh hard. Colby joined with you, the both of you laughing. You fell into his side, where his arm snaked around your waist. You gazed at him from under eyelashes, slowly he leaned down and connected your lips together. “I love you,” he whispered, pulling slightly away. He was still so close that when he spoke, his lips touched yours. “And I love you,” You replied just as quietly. You both smiled when he reconnected your lips into a deeper kiss. 

 “I don’t know about you, but I am so full,” You said falling back onto the blanket. Colby chuckled lightly before falling next to you. “I’m very full too.” Just then your phone vibrated against your leg. Lifting it to your face, you read the message from Kat that told you that everything was set and ready to go. Turning on your side, you laid your head onto Colby's chest. “Wanna go home bubs?”You asked softly, pressing a kiss to the base of his neck. “Yeah,” he replied just as sofly. You threw away all the trash while Colby folded the blanket and made sure that we had everything. Getting back up to the car, you got in with Colby. “Thank you for the amazing night baby. I really enjoyed it.” You complimented. Colby grabbed your hand in his and rested them in his lap, “And thank you for marrying me. I couldn’t think of anyone else that I would want to eat on the beach with or spending my life with.” Colby smiled at you and you swore that you melted right here, in the passenger seat of his old corolla.  

 When you get to the house, you speed walk in front of him so that you can open the door and see if everything is actually ready before Colby can see anything inside. Opening the door just enough for you to poke your head in, you smile and the LED lights are turned on a dusty rose color and the floor sprinkled with pink rose petals. Pulling you head back out you see that Colby is standing behind you looking like a confused puppy. You smiled at him, “Okay bubba, close your eyes.” COlby cracked a grin and covered his eyes with his hands, “Y/n I swear to god if you prank me, I will get you back so hard.” he warned, making you laugh as you led him into the front door. “It’s not a prank baby relax.” When you finally got the door shut behind you, “Okay babe, open” Colby opened his eyes to meet the nicely decorated house. His eyes traveled over the petals on the floor up to the colored lights that were still shining. When his gaze finally met yours, his eyes were filled with love and adoration just for you. 

 “What’s all of this for?” he asked, cupping your cheek in his hand. A soft smile tugged at the sides of your mouth as your eyes glazed over with tears. You were so excited to tell him, you know that he has always wanted kids when he got married. It was just amazing to you that you were going to be the mother to a kid that was his. That this amazing man in front of you, wanted you to have his kids and wanted you to spend the rest of his life with. It was all just amazing. “Remember when we got married? I promised to give you everything that you ever wanted in life because that is how much I love you,” he nodded, still watching you intently. You took a deep breath to try and calm those tears and emotions, “ What’s something that you want more than ever?” Colby thought about it for a minute, “For us to be happy and to one day have kids with this beautiful woman in front of me.” He smiled which just made yours grow so much larger. 

 “We’re gonna be parents,” you said softly. Colby's eyes got wide and his eyes filled with tears. “You’re lying. Y/n, this isn’t funny. If this is a prank please tell me.” he begged. Tears engulfed your vision, making everything blurry. “It’s not a prank baby,” Colby laughed, “Really? Deadass?” He ran up to you and grabbed your shoulders, “Are you telling me that I’m going to be a dad?” he stared into your eyes, you felt like he was looking into your soul. Tears rolled down your cheeks when you shook your head at him. “I’m being serious. The tests are on the table,” You motioned to the greeting table where the two tests lay. Colby picked them up and looked at them but in the next second he had you in his arms, spinning around the room. You swear that you didn’t even see him move. “I’m going to be a daddy. I’m going to be a daddy.” You laughed as Colby continued to spin you around the room. He finally put you down and stared at you again, “You’re going to be a mommy. You’re going to be the mom of my son or daughter.” he laughed again before pulling you into a kiss. You felt all of his emotions in this one kiss and you tried to pour every one that you were feeling into it as well. You pulled away and rested you forehead on his and smiled at him again. You both laughed softly, still in shock of the news. “I’m going to be a daddy.” You nodded, “I’m going to be a mommy.” 

[cyberdva]

Breaking Up With My Girlfriend Prank (GONE WRONG) - C.B. ☆

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Summary: In the midst of the popular Prank War, Colby had the genius idea of pranking his newly announced girlfriend. A prank that would completely backfire on their relationship. Colby would go through thick and thin for his girlfriend, but even his dramatic acting messed something up. Can he fix it?

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Main Masterlist

Colby Brock Masterlist 

Word Count: 2k

Date Uploaded:  4/7/20

Warnings: Mild Swearing and Mentions of Sex

A/N: I have so many Colby ideas lined up…. quarantine work is currently kicking my ass, so I apologize!

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“Colby this is your worst idea yet.” Corey had merely walked through the door and was already pounded with chaos. The infamous prank war had been escalating further than planned. It had gotten progressively worse. The ideas these guys had were coming to a point of destruction. Not just the house, some of the pranks had begun to take effect on their relationships. Aaron was frequently locked in his room playing video games rather than hanging out with everyone.  People outside of the five core roommates had been dragged in. Anything for the views they say.

“Well I mean the fans have been requesting it. I’m one-hundred percent sure she won’t mind after I tell her where the cameras are hidden.” Emotions in the Trap House were only invisible barriers. So many times videos were filled with violence, purposely made for entertainment use.

“No wonder the fans wanted it… they all want a chance to date you…” Colby made his way to the staircase and paid no mind to the advice his friend was dealing him. Corey made note of the rabid fangirls that wanted nothing, but Colby for themselves. He was an unstoppable force and sometimes that led him to his own fall. Colby was back in his room, alone. It was oddly quiet. Perfect timing to begin filming..

“What’s up guys? It’s Colby Brock! Today I’m back with another prank. This one might not end too well,” His cheeky grin filled his face, on the inside anxiety ate away at every inch. “As you know, I have a wonderful girlfriend and the prank war is at its peak, so I’m breaking up with her.” A pause for dramatic effect, this needed views so he could win the war. “As a prank.” He extended his hands and put on a big smile. In his mind, Colby convinced himself that this was going to go smoothly.

“I’ve been dating Y/N for a couple months now and I felt it was time for her to get in on the action. I guess it’s an initiation…” Colby fiddled with his rings, he felt that everything around him was cloudy. “Sorry, I’m really nervous about this…” he giggled. His fingers found themselves running through his hair. With pupils wide, there was no denying this had to go horribly wrong. 

“She should be on her way over here in a few minutes. Flabby post-its thrashed their way around as the heading wind of the opened window left more than to be desired. The camera’s microphone crackled. Even the universe somehow knew how utterly stupid this idea had to be. It felt wrong. He could say he cheated on her? Why would he do that? 

‘Fuck.” Colby knew the audio files were now unusable. There was no energy left to redo this, he’s seen Corey and Sam do this so many times and their girlfriends were completely fine… after a while. He was being too hard on himself. His lungs filled with the cold, nightly air. He could do this. It’s just a prank. The window slammed shut as Y/N car slowly pulled into the long driveway. He could do this.

Colby had put too much effort into his emo-like inner monologue that reality even slipped away from himself. He made mere seconds to hide the camera and get into position. The video quality jumped even lower as Colby snatched a stray shirt on the scum-ridden floor. He tried his best to find a second angle, he fumbled with an extra camera and stuffed it on his dresser, underneath a towel. 

“Okay guys, she just got here. I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I hope she forgives me.” Another nervous laugh on cue. He was sweating like he had just come back from the gym. The large front door slammed shut. He received a text…

Y/N: I’m on my way up! I’ve been missing you all day!

“Shit.” The sound of feet hitting the trashed staircase filled his ears. He looked normal, a bit more jumpy than normal, that was all. She was right outside her door, her hands gripping the door handle. With one last look at the cameras Colby flashed his eyes to his window. The weather grew dark and grim. Rain threatened to spill at any given moment. The door was now wide open and closed with a short click.

“Hey Colb… how was your day? Anything eventful happen?” Colby made no emotion, it was not that hard to do. He gave no reply which Y/N thought was odd. She dropped a small bag filled with what would most likely be food. She looked up at him. The silence was sickening.

Her eyes skewered around for possibly a camera. It seemed scarily unusual for something like this to happen. “Are you oka-”

“We need to talk.” His voice was stern as ice. As stern as an icy pond found on a freezing December Sunday. Y/n’s pupils dilated, it wasn’t the friendly greeting she was expecting. Far from it likewise.

“What do you mean? Did I do something wrong…” she plopped down onto his sheer bed. The awkwardness was indescribable. It was the first time the pair were unable to converse. It seemed fake, like a problem that would never arise. Colby rose from the bed, fist clenched. Y/N fell backwards into the mattress.

“It’s not really you. It’s me.” That is the phrase bound to start some sort of trouble. No one really knew what was going on.

Y/N’s face contorted, “I’m sorry. Yesterday we were having sex and today there’s a problem?” She stared down at her sweaty palms, small portions of rage and sorrow were quickly brewing. “Sorry, that sounded really harsh.”

Colby smacked his hands together and a clapping noise echoed, “This is what I’m talking about.” He turned around to hide his smile. This was a situation where even he couldn’t keep his face straight.

Baffled, Y/N sat with a raging passion, “What the fuck do you mean?!” Seriously! I assumed everything was well.” She didn’t know what to do next, honestly. Where to do amongst all of this. 

“We need to break up.” Hell began again. This wasn’t what Y/N was expecting, tears fondled sporadically across her waterline and danced their way down her face like a drunken ABBA member. Her body jolted in a manner that was unthinkable. She left in a flustered hurry, Sam saw her waddling down the stairs and tried to make a headspace to connect the dots. He was interrupted by Colby stomping his way downstairs in sheer panic, equipped with a camera.

“It’s just a prank! Y/N! It was fake!” 

The grand door slammed shut.

++++

“Devyn, has Corey ever pulled this shit with you? Seriously. He seemed so convincing. Do you think he secretly meant it.”

“Knowing Colby, probably not. You’re acting like he’s a stranger. You’ve known him for how long now? Two years?”

“It really wasn’t so thoughtful of him.” The eerie ambience of the phone static paired with the pitch black

“It was a prank. They aren’t meant to be thoughtful Y/N… well semi-excluding Jake’s pizza prank.” She sighed into the phone, “Not wanting to over excite you or sound mean. You’re kind of overrea-” She hung up the phone, Y/N knew she was reacting unlawfully, she just wanted this to leave an impact. I guess it would be better for the video anyways...her phone vibrated. Four missed calls from Colby. 

The rickety door flung open and Y/N stepped outside. She convinced herself no one was watching. If Colby knew where she was he would most likely have a fit. The wind was the same  as it was, whispering secrets into the ears of anyone brave enough to listen. A branch cascaded to the asphalt that bounded the ground into one, swift motion. Y/n popped her heels onto the road. There was silence. A stray shopping bag floated past her ankles. Y/N Thought about how Colby was feeling. Did she really hurt him by leaving? Was he not kidding about what he said? Shit. She felt sad. Cried. If only she knew what was actually going on. Fuck this. Fuck Colby. Y/N stopped in her tracks, “No…” she thought. “Devyn was right. I’m going back” 

After a shitty teen-romcom reenaction Y/N made her way to the brooding boyfriend’s home. Colby sat in his room while Sam poked jokes at him, trying to cheer him up. He abandoned his phone on the stringy carpet and hoped she would get over it. She came back. 

“I hate you, you know?” Her small amount of makeup was splattered down, Colby’s spirits crushed deeper. 

“Just stay the night.. It’s the least I can do.” He begged. He pleaded. The last thing Colby needed was to lose her. 

“You actually think I would drive home after all of this happened, it’s like 12 in the morning.” She re-opened the bag from before and cracked open a soda.

“I’m so sorry. This got way out of hand and I didn’t mean any of it. I love yo-“

“Shut up Colby.”

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Part 2? Y/N does a break up prank on Colby? Send me an ask to let me know!

[swynlake-spill]

Boba, please bully some of our shyer residents into posting selfies! I am dying for some Rarer Insta Content.

ok i’ll try here we go 

@vixey-chakraborty KEEP THE COW CONTENT COMING BUT ALSO LET UR OWN NATURAL RADIANCE SHINE!!! I LOVE U PLEASE IM ASKING SO NICELY BUT ALSO VERY LOUDLY SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR 

@rikuxnakayama sir  i cannot keep buying overpriced coffee from [name redacted] just for the ten seconds of eye contact we have i simply do not make enough money have pity on me and POST 

@vitani-blackwell u arent really shy so i dont understand how you are not posting daily thirst traps i have seen your body and therefore seen god please RESUME REGULAR CONTENT 

@melody-the-unwritten typing ur username just now made me cry. :( melody i MISS YOu. melody i dont think u understand u could be miss swynlake if u wanted... this is your YEAR

@princess-ting-ting you post extremely quality pics of your fish and family jigsaw puzzles and stuff and thats valid and good plz dont stop but also you are the qin i respect in this world and i think you deserve to be told how beautiful u are js 

@littlelectriceelduh ur mysterious and look like the boy my mum warned me about. plz indulge my worst desires and help me star in my very own all time low pop punk fantasy 

@arista-the-musical BLASPHEMY that i am tagging a triton wtf did your sisters teach u!! arista when i say that i believe if you post selfies tagged #stopglobalwarming that it could maybe inspire a movement im not even being hyperbolic i think the power is in your hands and you should use it 

@cinderellaashbourne HONEY PLEASE COME HOME tiana as her roommate why are you not instilling in ella the confidence needed to become a powerhouse insta mom im just saying she could build an empire off her smile 

@babettexdurand seeing u makes me go  🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 sincerely do not think there are words... 

@evil--endeavors you want to be taken seriously as a business woman, totally fair! however, fourth wave feminism said stuff about idk owning ur sexuality or-- nvm dont do it for me do it for the young LESBIANS. also kick me in the face :) 

@one-lucky-lad small confession...i have a crush on this darling I KNOW I KNOW HOW EMBARRASSING however i am not immune to the specific charms of his beautiful blue eyes. im just saying haha what if we kissed 

@tink-bell tink used to post all the time but then she got her heart broken or something and i just think she needs to build up all that very valid fierce tink bell confidence she was famous for!! tink PLEASE give me the bed selfie i know you have! txt me u up ;) ? ask me to netflix and chill! also post on instagram obviously! 

@sanmononoke what is going on with this person real talk besides ofc being very hot as per swynlake’s hotness requirement. idk if she has an instagram. bet she’d post like feet pics and shit like that. think that we need a little bit of that spice in swynlake dont you!!! 

@moon-yeongjun frankly it is a crime that we are all collectively robbed of the journey that would be jun moon instagram experience. if you dont think he’s hot you’re lying to yourself!! new rule every time jun posts a petition he owes us a selfie its only fair idk im once again putting tiana to the task of making that happen

@notmuchofatail he’s been posting more lately but it is not enough for me. gregory eeyore is my past present and future. like im in love with him is what im saying. 

@a-merman-not-a-guppy stop pretending like you’re not a handsome lad its EMBARRASSING. what is the point also of designing ur own clothes if you arent putting up your wares on instagram. again this is just common sense i cannot believe im giving this immaculate advice for free. 

@notbad-justsungthatway again she posts decently but i think she should post more bc she is easily in the ten hottest people ever in swynlake. its a fact not an opinion and we’d all feel a lot calmer if she was active daily on instagram

@pinkpearlpark the coolest of the teens!! i need her to post so she can teach ME how to post. like idk what im doing teach me the ways of being an attractive rich cool person miss park! 

@bucktoothed--ice-prince again idk whats going on here he’s this very mysterious stranger who blew into town out of nowhere. maybe going without an instagram is the whole point but i would rather write dumb things on ur posts tbh

@trickster-knownas-pan AND A THIRD person who i know nothing about. maybe i am just nosy but also you are hot so you owe me something thats how survival of the fittest works maybe !!!!!!! i failed science three times!!!! 

@devyn-morey lol i know he posts a lot but obviously! obviously! 

@geehosaphat on the other hand martin has two posts on his instagram maybe and thats abysmal. martin you do realize you’re like. hot right. i mean it like you could be in a magazine. you’re hot. take off your shirt sometime maybe if you’re comfortable so you can flaunt it! 

@winndeavor again i know ur a serious business person who has a certain brand to maintain. on the other hand: you have abs. much to think about i know. 

@hclyghcst DISGUSTING that you could win jewel of the season or w/e and then disappear from my life. you owe me like ten selfies at this point! you’re cute kind and a good friend to people in your life! fuck im obsessed with u!! 

@vvinter-queen and now we shout out to her sister ANNA to help her. anna how is it that u have a moderately thriving bookstagram and yet elsa has no idea what a filter is. intervene. fix it. she’s beautiful. imagine how much ice cream u will sell. 

@gleamdncglow u dont have to post bc it might actually piss me off considering how pretty you are. but if you want to i guess (please please please please please please) 

@gabriella-marino you know what’s the best way to get to know ppl in town and make friends! yeah ur right, its thirst traps on instagram! i think you’re so cute on a serious note please tell me more about u...maybe in the captions on your thirst trap for instagram! 

@edwardandalasia honestly just curious how it would go if someone showed edward who is maybe suffering from some textbook case of amnesia how instagram works. you also have the best skin ive ever seen. send me ur tips. ok thank u!!!

[xxgothchatonxx]

Clarice 1x08 Review

*sighs* sorry, darlings, it’s another negative review from me. But I always want to be honest about my opinions. 

Let’s start with the good:

Rebecca Breeds’ acting is still the best part of this entire show. 

Devyn A. Tyler’s facial expressions in this scene.

I liked that they returned to Ardelia’s arc again but unfortunately it was a bit too little and it was paced so weirdly, I forgot it was even happening in this episode. 

I really like Clarice’s new therapist. 

Now the nit-picky

Those miscellaneous background actors are awful. The lines are lame, the delivery is awkward, and who the fuck edited/mixed this? It’s atrocious!

The music was weird. 

The flashbacks were again too small, and weirdly edited (the crystal ball shit? I, just, huh?!)

Now the bad:

That He Who Must Not Be Named reference... oh you bet your ass I’m ranting about this on another post! 

*pulls out bullhorn* YOU. ARE NOT. HANNIBAL! STOP. TRYING. TO. BE. HANNIBAL! The artsy-fartsy zoom-ins on ‘creepy imagery’?! ENOUGH! 

Paul Krendler is not Jack Crawford. Stop trying to make him be Jack Crawford. 

Aww, Esquivel has a girlfriend... so when is he getting a personality?

Oh look.. another reference to her younger brother... don’t... don’t you fucking dare, show... DON’T DO IT, SHOW! DO NOT DO IT! DO NOT MAKE CLARICE’S YOUNGER BROTHER BE THE MASTERMIND BEHIND ALL OF THIS! DON’T FUCKING DO IT! (Yeah, Mr. Classless Harvey Dent is clearly a thug, not the head honcho.)

“Let’s keep going.” Yeah, Clarice is definitely getting kidnapped again. I’m so happy that finally there’s a show that treats its Hannibalverse female characters with dignity and respect, allowing them to make such smart decisions that show that they have learned from their past mistakes (I am being fucking sarcastic here - this is so fucking stupid!)

So, next week we’re back to the Catherine subplot and finding out more stuff about Jame Gumb... be careful, writers. Be very VERY careful with this.