#detested notary

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

Can you please tell Host to unblock me :(

That will be his call. If you have something to say to him, I can relay the message.

-D

[theuwucrew]

This is a story all about how my life got fli-, oh wait wrong intro.  *Ahem*

Everyone has a story to tell; but it’s up to whoever or whomever wants to sit down and listen. If there’s one thing in life I hate it’s platitudes. I hate hearing them. The next would be celery. I don’t know how people eat that stuff. The last thing I would say I strongly dislike are phrases that begin with “I should”. Goals without plans are just dreams. People that always talk about things they wish they could change or things that they “should” do. I want to change the world for the better. That is my goal. The 8 richest people in the world own as much wealth as the poorest HALF OF HUMANITY. That blows my mind to think about. I don’t care about politics, or government. Einstein said,”We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” I don’t care about social media and celebrities. Those trivialities are ephemeral, and providing a better future is more important. Sooooooooooo let’s go back and find out how I found my resolve.  Highschool! Well, my whole life really. But I detest taking pictures and these were just about all of the ones I had of myself which are from high school until now. Anyways, I was average. Well, the only thing average about me were my grades. I was short for males. Overweight (220lbs). Played an unhealthy amount of games, and watched a ton of anime. But the one thing I was good at was making people laugh. At a young age I discovered if you could make people laugh, you could fit into any social clique. So I wouldn’t say I was “popular”, but everyone knew who I was. I had a lot of friends, but my lack of social dialogue made it so I never attended social events. As a matter of fact I skipped prom night and went to an underground hello kitty themed rave with some of my pals. High school was... not a good indicator of what life would be like. They tell me life is a test, but where’s a tutor for me? Well, that’s what J Cole said. After the graduation ceremony I ran out of that place. And yeah, that’s actually me dressed as waldo and everyone wanted to sit next to me. That defeats the purpose!!!  A few months later, I struck out on my own. I left to study in the Philippines because I thought studying and travelling would be awesome. I applied to the top engineering school there and got accepted. They asked me what I wanted to major in and I told them “I don’t know, what’s good here?” like I was at a restaurant or something. They told me mechanical engineering and boom. Major picked. I thought this is where my new life starts. Turns out... I was wrong. I ended up hating it. Truly. I suffered depression, possible bipolar disorder, and I was underweight. I tried so hard to make life there work. I visited the poorest places in the area to the richest. I meet a lot of people and even became pretty well known in my school. I tried to keep myself entertained. I would make “questionnaires” and ask the students a bunch of dumb questions like “When did you realize you loved me?” or “Can I have a dollar?” I even recorded myself doing it. But it wasn’t the same. The humor, the sense of enjoyment, everything was so... different. As if they were content in life. I never thought I would hear a word that meant “to do nothing”. And in the Philippines that’s a pass time. Why? Life had so much opportunity for them, but they were content with stagnating. I had my existential crisis and I became more involved in philosophy and psychology. I read a bunch of books and on my fourth year I made the decision to leave the Philippines and continue my life in America. When I got back to America I moved into a place with my friend where I currently reside. He didn’t recognize me when he opened the door. I am still studying mechanical engineering and I will graduate next year. The path that I’m taking is clear. I don’t know what lies ahead, but no one knows. People have plans for the future, but no one knows. But here’s what I do know. I love sweets. I never grew out of it when I lost weight. I eat them all the time and that picture is at a cafe in japan. It’s honest toast with ice cream and it’s meant for two people like a couple thing, but it looked hella good. And it was. I had a huge stomach ache that night. I love anime. Anime influenced my life and I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here where I am without it. Me and my pal wore our Angel Beats uniform to work on halloween. Our boss took the picture. That’s my closest home slice Mike. People always think we’re brothers, but we’re not and he’s a foot taller than me. Unless I wear my high heels. I’ve since left that job to be a full time student, but I still work as a notary public and a vendor on the weekends at a farmer’s market. I still play video games, and I still suck at parties. Even though I’ve gotten a lot better at socializing from being forced to do so in the Philippines, I don’t drink, and I don’t smoke. I am a total square. I love my friends, but the thing I love the most is...making people smile. I wanted to be a comedian as a kid. Maybe I can fuse the two majors... but there is absolutely nothing hilarious about thermodynamics and material structures. Nothing. People ask about the meaning of life, and I’ve found that my happiness comes from making other people happy. It’s an unhealthy dependence. Or at least that’s what my imaginary psychiatrist told me.  So that’s me. A little broken, but I know what I’m doing. Because I’ve got a goal.

[lifelastingcouples]

Salvador Dalí and Gala

Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domènech, 1ˢᵗ Marquess of Dalí de Púbol, was born in Figueres, Catalonia on the 11ᵗʰ of May 1904. Dalí's older brother, who had also been named Salvador (born 12ᵗʰ October 1901), had died nine months earlier, on August 1903. Dalí was haunted by the idea of his dead brother throughout his life, mythologizing him in his writings and art. Dalí also had a sister who was three years younger. Dalí's father, was a middle-class lawyer and notary, an anti-clerical atheist and Catalan federalist, whose strict disciplinary approach was tempered by his wife, who encouraged her son's artistic endeavors.

In 1922, Dalí moved to Madrid and studied at San Fernando Royal Academy of Fine Arts. There he became close friend with Pepín Bello, Luis Buñuel, Federico García Lorca, and others associated with the Madrid avant-garde group Ultra. The friendship with Lorca had a strong element of mutual passion, but Dalí said he rejected the poet's sexual orientation. Lorca was killed by Spanish Nationalist militia on August 1936.

In the mid-1920s Dalí grew a neatly trimmed moustache. In later decades he cultivated a more flamboyant one in the manner of 17th-century Spanish master painter Diego Velázquez, and this moustache became a well known Dalí icon.

In April 1926 Dalí made his first trip to Paris where he met Pablo Picasso, whom he revered. Picasso had already heard favorable reports about Dalí from Joan Miró, a fellow Catalan who later introduced him to many Surrealist friends.

From 1927 Dalí's work became increasingly influenced by Surrealism. Influenced by his reading of Freud, Dalí increasingly introduced suggestive sexual imagery and symbolism into his work.

Elena Ivanovna Diakonova (Gala) was born in Kazan, Russia, on the 7ᵗʰ of September 1894. Coming from a family of intellectuals, among her childhood friends was the poet Marina Tsvetaeva. Gala was the second of four children born to Ivan and Antonine Diakonoff. When Gala was ten years old her father disappeared prospecting gold in Siberia. This left the family, (her sister Lidia and her two brothers, Nikola and Vadim) destitute. According to the law of the Russian Orthodox Church, Gala’s mother could not remarry but Antonine defied normal practice by choosing to live with a wealthy lawyer.

Ill from tuberculosis, in 1912 she was sent to a sanatorium at Clavadel, near Davos in Switzerland. There she met Paul Éluard and fell in love with him. They were both seventeen. In 1916, during World War I, she traveled from Russia to Paris to reunite with him; they were married one year later. Their daughter, Cécile, was born in 1918. Gala detested motherhood, mistreating and ignoring her child.

Gala was an inspiration for many artists including Éluard, Louis Aragon, Max Ernst, and André Breton. Breton later despised her, claiming she was a destructive influence on the artists she befriended. Gala, Éluard, and Ernst spent three years in a ménage à trois, from 1924 to 1927.

In early August 1929, Éluard and Gala visited Salvador Dalí in Costa Brava, Spain. An affair quickly developed between Gala and Dalí, who was about ten years younger than Gala. It was a love at first sight. In his Secret Life, Dalí wrote:

«She was destined to be my Gradiva, the one who moves forward, my victory, my wife».

The name Gradiva comes from the title of a novel by W. Jensen, the main character of which was Sigmund Freud. Gradiva was the book’s heroine and it was her who brought psychological healing to the main character.

After living together since 1929, Dalí and Gala married in a civil ceremony in 1934, and remarried in a Catholic ceremony in 1958 in the Pyrenean hamlet of Montrejic. They needed to receive a special dispensation by the Pope because Gala had been previously married and she was a believer (not Catholic ��� but was an Orthodox Christian ☦︎). Due to his purported phobia of female genitalia, Dalí was said to have been a virgin when they met in 1929. Around that time Gala was found to have uterine fibroids, for which she underwent a hysterectomy in 1936.

The start of their cohabitation was much of a challenge. Dalí was then far from being a top-earning artist, and Gala had no income of her own. In the early 1930s, Dalí started to sign his paintings with his and her name. He stated that Gala acted as his agent, and aided in redirecting his focus. To top it all, there was a public outcry about the inscription Dalí had made on one of his pictures: ‘Sometimes I spit with pleasure on the portrait of my mother.' This made his father shun connection with the son and cut off his allowance. And many in the neighbourhood did side the notary of so high a reputation, and refused Salvador residence or tenancy. Only a fisherman’s widow, some Lidia Sabana de Costa, who had known him since his childhood, and always believed in his talent, — only she sold the couple for a song a solitary shack off Cadaqués, in Port Lligat, used for storing fishing tackle. And Salvador and Gala’s love made the shack a castle.

The room of sixteen square metres in area was the front parlour, the bedroom, and the studio — all in one. For lunch, they sometimes had one fruit for the two of them. This period of her and Dalí's living below the breadline hardly fits the popular idea of Gala as an avaricious, money-minded woman, though, when with Paul Éluard, she had had a far better-off lifestyle in well-furnished Parisian apartments. n that period, the peak of their success was Dalí's solo exhibition held in June, 1931, in the Pierre Colle Gallery.

During 1937 Gala assumed more power in the position of Dalí’s business manager and agent and procurer of artistic contracts. They travelled widely in the United States during the eight years spent there in exile, with winters spent conducting business at the St Regis Hotel in New York, summers in California. In 1948 the pair returned to Europe. Upon returning to Spain, From this date they would spend summers in Spain in Port Lligat and winters in New York or Paris.

Gala had a strong libido and throughout her life had numerous extramarital affairs, which Dalí encouraged, since he was a practitioner of candaulism. In the end of the sixties their relationships started to fade away, and the rest of their life it was just smouldering pieces of their bygone passion. In 1968, Dalí bought Gala the Castle of Púbol, Girona, where she would spend time every summer from 1971 to 1980. He also agreed not to visit there without getting advance permission from her in writing.

In 1980, at the age of 76, Dali was forced to retire due to palsy. The motor disorder left him unable to hold a brush, and as his condition worsened, he became less tolerant of Gala’s continued affairs. Gala was also using the income from Dali’s art to lavish money and gifts on her lovers, who were mostly young male artists. One day, the artist had enough. He beat Gala so badly, he broke two of her ribs.

In her late seventies, Gala had a relationship with millionaire multi-platinum rock singer Jeff Fenholt, former lead vocalist of Jesus Christ Superstar. Gala died the 10 of June 1982, at the age of 87 after suffering from a severe case of influenza. She was interred in the Castle of Púbol, in a crypt with a chessboard style pattern.

In 1982, King Juan Carlos I bestowed on Dalí the title of  Marquess of Dalí of Púbol in the nobility of Spain, Púbol being where Dalí then lived.

Dalí died of heart failure on the 23 of January at the age of 84.

Gala and Dalí lived together for 53 years.

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

HOST CALLED ME A SLUR DURING PRIDE MONTH

N̴̡̾o̶̹̍t̶̊͜ ̴̛̺n̷̜͐ö̵͕ẁ̵̬.̶͚͐ ̸͎̾

It is time for icecream.

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

And that's the end of my adventures of good nights' sleeps.

I built an immunity to the Catnap toy's mist, damn it all. On top of that, apparently, the scent has been sticking to me, even after showering. More than one co-worker has been complaining of night-terrors nearly identical to eachother's; it can't be a coincidence.

Parting is such sleepless sorrow...

The toy will remain in my home study for now. Just because the misting doesn't affect me the way it affects humans doesn't mean I don't understand its potency. Codi and I have talked about possibly removing the tube and turning him into a normal stuffed animal, but it isn't confident with a needle and thread and I'm not confident it won't spray itself while extracting the tube.

... So... any volunteers?

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

Codi is in-office today. I will be up to my neck in paperwork; please direct any concerns you have to him, and he will relay them to me later.

Thank you.

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

...Would someone please fill me in on what a "low taper fade" is, and why my notary will not stop singing about it?

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

∆ do you mind being color-blind?

It can be a bit burdensome at times, but thankfully I almost always have someone around I can ask for clarification. Even if nobody's nearby, I'll send a picture to my notary and he'll fill me in.

1/10.

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

:3c

I already voted on your poll, Codi.

Get your things, I'll drive you home if you haven't called a car yet.

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

You're 611? You should be at the clubbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

I'm going to skin you alive.

-D

[fromthedeskof-darkiplier]

Welcome.

[Some rules before you interact (this includes trigger warnings the Mun needs, so please give it a read (ESPECIALLY the link at the bottom))]

[About this iteration of Darkiplier]

Enjoy your stay.

***(Tag list is below the cut. Will be adding more as I interact with or talk about more characters.)***

Character Tags

Nice to Meet Me: Tag for other Darkipliers.

Talking to a Mirror: Tag for Y/N, the District Attorney.

Favorite Color: Tag for @respect-the-stache , the Wilford Warfstache whom Dark is in a relationship with.

Favorite Color in a Different Shade: Tag for other Wilford Warfstaches.

Boggy Destroyer of Worlds: Tag for Dark and Wil’s cat, Boggy.

Loki God of Mischief: Tag for Dark and Wil’s other cat, Loki.

Books Bound by Gauze / Books Bound with Gauze (I keep forgetting which one to use, I'm sorry gkdbdksdbsmsndj): Tags for @blind-radio-waves, a Host that Dark has a pseudo-parental relation to.

Die by the Inkwell: Tag for other Hosts.

Bring out the Grindr: Tag for Bim Trimmer. 

Queries May Vary: Tag for GoogleIRL

Literal Websurfing: Tag for BingIRL.

His Squirrelly Highness: Tag for King of the Squirrels.

Sweetheart in Highschool: Tag for Yandereplier.

A Jim by Any Other Name: Tag for the Jims.

Glitched Green and Grungy: Tag for AntiSepticEye.

Glitched Muse: Tag for @blind-radio-waves ‘s significant other, another iteration of AntiSepticEye.

The Weaving Machine: Tag for BlankGameplays.

Explorer of the Internet: Tag for Illinois.

Why the Jailbird Sings: Tag for Yancy.

Shrinking Hibiscus: Tag for Eric Derekson.

Return to Warehouse Stock: Tag for Derek Derekson.

Sickly Sweet and Sticky: Tag for Goopiplier.

Corporate Tyrant in Training: Tag for Harold B. Darrensworth.

Time and Time Again: Tag for Unus Annus.

The Rising Son: Tag for Lunky.

Eye of the Night Sky: Tag for the God of Night(from the Kollok series).

Target of Rage: Tag for the Actor.

Beached and Water-Logged: Tag for Captain Magnum.

Detested Notary: Tag for Codi, Dark's "notary". AKA, the Mun of this blog. Sometimes I like to have a little fun harassing them in-character, idk what to tell you.

Non-Character Tags

Fits like a clean-pressed blazer: Tag for posts that Dark resonates with to an aesthetic extent.

Cats: Tag for cats.

Insomniac Musings: Sometimes Dark just can't help their urge to wax poetic.

Color in the White Noise: Tag for music Dark felt like sharing to their blog.