#details part. just then i got to watch memories of ''mensis'' but i have the insight to be able to walk them back from recollections of | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blackvahana · 7 months ago

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you ever just see an alternate version of your life flash before your eyes though.... Im so glad im getting into this now. Im so glad lull didnt let me near kos lmfao because like. im sitting here... fully ready to be dissected myself and to dissect and experiment with these things and im. oh boy! getting glimpses like alternate universe memories of having awoken this in front of him and with him and being. absolutely used. and dissected. and my body broken up and given out like bread at communion. i absolutely can see the ultimate timeline where he convinces me im nothing but Kos and its not a mask but my reality and then he just. does what he wants with my body because Secret Broken + he'd have free reign to pull the instincts i connect to her of. communion and self-death and whatnot

and im not even exaggerating. that absolutely would be where it was going. hes done so much fucked up shit to my astral body, he refused to take no as an answer to having a kid with me, my body was just to be eaten and uh. yeah. it was already a fucked up 5 years lmfao

see. emphasis on "fully ready". full like a full belly. like the full moon. like a full field ready to be harvested. ive grown into myself now, theres a huge difference between being the whale that falls on purpose to feed the populace and one hunted. and i get to experiment now because. the moon is ripe. the sun is ripe. the ocean is pregnant. theres peace in the salt in the air

#i know that these flashes are like... not false memories but the seeds of them. theyre vague memories of actual shit thats happened #before my life and informed by stuff in the astral but that i dont remember enough to confidently pull through. incidentally....#this is absolutely how false kin memories develop. because only now after 5 years of working w pc spirits and working w someone #who very openly takes on fictional masks all the time (lev) do i have enough insight to actually break down the process of recalling #memories. theres a gap like opening your eyes in between the seeds of memories forming - energies. ideas. feelings. etc - and #the simulation of the space in reality - faces. names. appearances. etc.... and like the brain absolutely pulls on context to inform the #details part. just then i got to watch memories of ''mensis'' but i have the insight to be able to walk them back from recollections of #micolash and the lecture halls to see beneath the surface theyre /not/ related to bb at all except for the fact that thats the context i pu #on these past memories because... memories are simulated realities. and like simulations you need to have textures and models #and data and coding to pull from to make the simulation. you mod out a persons appearance in the simulation? the same scene plays #out but an entirely new person is in it doing the same actions. and brains make complete pictures of incomplete data. anyway.#obviously talking about my own experiences here this is not @ anyone else. but also...... take it if it resonates.#because like i went through too many years of gaslighting and fake memories and stuff to not say ''hey uh my experience shows #that this can happen when youre unaware of it happening''#but anyway as i said...... thats not the point of saying it. point of saying it is i was so close to forming fake pc memories there because #like a flamenco player can think notes faster than you can hear... ive seen these memories form. ive been Trained to take false memories #i get how they work now. i see the process. like impulse becomes words... like idea becomes opinion.... patterns spark recognition of #pattern and recognition of pattern is presumption and the dot-to-dot filling in of a simulated reality like that suspended between atoms #in our brains and eyes #wahoo!#ramblings //#mask: causality //

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