#despite the fact im just realizing i dont have half the fucking measurements needed

[fleur-alise]

my soul music mix that definitely isn't soul and an energy drink are the only thing keeping from having a mental breakdown but for now I'm doing pretty alright

[blushoseoks]

GREY AREA. (M) | 09

And just like that, your fate was sealed - because Min Yoongi was absolutely going to destroy you. But hell, if you weren’t going to let him, or bask happily in the flames as he did so.

And sadly, at the time, you didn’t think that your thoughts would become so literal.

“Wanting love from someone who doesn’t want to love you, will destroy your fucking heart.”  - Anonymous

→  Pairing: Yoongi/Reader →  Word Count: 4,228 →  Genre/Warnings: Soulmate AU, Angst,  →   Chapter Index

When you wake up, it's to the sound of a familiar vibration that belongs to your phone, and the hum of your fan whirring from beside you.

Small droplets of rain hit your window creating a nice pitter patter sound, and you think that you've heard what could only be distinguished as thunder, roar in the distance.

The vibration from your phone goes off another second later, and you have to pull yourself up from your slumber to search for it. You find it by your feet, ignoring the question of how the hell did it get down there? Because you had learned long ago not to question you and your sleeping habits, because according to Taehyung, you slept roughly.

The fabric of your feather bedsheet is smooth as your palms run against it, momentarily forgetting about your phone as you plop back downwards against the surface of your bed. Your back hitting the mattress with a soft umfh sound that you're pretty sure only existed in cartoon shows until right then.

It's a moment after your eyes have connected with the ceiling of your room, and in the midst of you trying to figure out what you're going to do with your Saturday, when you remember just why you had woken up.

Or, for better words, are reminded.

Because your phone has just vibrated in your hand again.

You were really going to need to start turning it on silent before bed.

Your eyes almost widen when they flicker across the screen of your phone.

Not because it was ten in the morning, but rather because of the amount of missed phonecalls and messages you've received.

The person who had dared wake you from you slumber was none other than your only female friend, making her your girl-bestfriend by default (or so she liked to state) and you're astonished to see just how many times she had attempted to reach you.

You decide to scroll through the notifications settled on your homescreen.

[9:31 AM] Yoona – pls be awake

[9:32 AM] Yoona – Missed Call

[9:33 AM] Yoona – goddamn it wake the fuck up

[9:34 AM] Jungkook – you busy 2day

[9:42 AM] Yoona – Missed Call

[9:45 AM] Taehyung – wake tf up and answer ur damn phone cn hear it from my room u fuck

[9:47 AM] Yoona – im freakin th fuck out, coming ovr

[9:50 AM] Yoona – Missed Call

[9:51 AM] Mom – Dad and I are coming to the city today, we're going to stop and pick you up for a late lunch! We've missed you baby girl. 2 sound okay?

[9:53 AM] Taehyung – I swr 2 god if u dont answer ur fuckin phone

Your eyes immediately dart back to the message from your mother, and immediately you're met with a mixture of happiness and nervousness.

You were excited to visit with your parents, hardly was it that you ever got to see them, let alone talk to them. But, whenever they visited you couldn't help but feel a little nervous. Like they might make you pack your bags and leave with them back to the hellhole that you had grown up in – but you knew they would never ask it of you, but still, the thought made something stir uncomfortably inside of you.

You're slapped out of your thoughts when your bedroom door swings open, and you're half expecting Taehyung. So you're only taken by a little surprise when it's Yoona that's stumbles inside.

Her hair wet as it runs down her sides and soaks her tshirt, her red rainboots drenched and making ugly stains in the carpet of your bedroom, and she looks like she's just seen a ghost.

It's enough to prompt you to slowly sit upwards, confusion mixed with concern starting to overtake your body, and starting to make itself evident in your features.

“Y/N.” Yoona says a moment later, voice soft. “You didn't answer your phone?”

And she stares at you. With eyes that look traumatized.

You cross your legs in a criss cross position, bringing them up and into your own personal space, this an indication that she is more than welcome to sit on your bed, wet or not.

“I was asleep, I'm sorry. What's-” you pause. “What's going on?”

She processes your indication, eyes flickering down to your bedsheets, a million things stirring silently in her eyes. And without another word she slowly strides across your bedroom, shucking off her wet jacket and letting it fall to hit the floor beside her. She takes a seat on your bed, elbows moving to press into the material of her denim jeans, and her body sort of crouches over. Hands moving to press to her forehead.

Her actions make you nervous, because you had never seen Yoona quite like this.

So you scoot up to her body just a tad, not wanting to scare her away. And you move your right hand to the center of her back, starting to move it in slow, gentle circles across the damp material.

“Yoona,” you say with a certain gentleness etched in your words. “What's going on?”

And she breathes out a large breath, slowly. One that makes you wonder if she had been breathing before you let out that question.

And with her eyes settled somewhere below, probably your carpet, her lips part and she speaks.

“You know,” she says calmly, “how when some soulmate's meet they just know it. Like they feel something or whatever?”

You immediately think back to Yoongi, how you had felt the heat of a thousand forest fires when he had laid eyes on you, you think about how every time he stares at you, you feel that undeniable warmth.

The facts cause you to nod your head in response.

But then you think back to Park Jimin. And how nothing had been felt when you were staring at each other. It wasn't uncommon for soulmate's not to feel something when they found each other, it was as common as it was to feel something when soulmate's met.

Some people said it depended on how strong the bond was, but you didn't believe that.

Because whenever your parents stared at each other, they felt nothing. But the love they had for one another was right there, was undeniable, was impossible to discredit. You could practically feel how strong their bond was, how protected their love was.

So you believed that some soulmate's felt things, and some didn't.

Nevermind the bond.

But had you felt something with Jimin but the shock you had been faced with, when meeting your second soulmate numbed everything off? Or was there not actually anything felt there?

“Yes.” You add for good measure, eyes flickering from where they had been dazing off at – the bedsheets – and to the side of Yoona's face.

The side that is visible.

“H-have you been outside today?” She says almost immediately, and your eyebrows raise in curiosity. What did the weather have to do with soulmates?

But, you answer anyway.

“No-”

She doesn't even let you form the last syllable before she's speaking.

“Despite the storm, it's hot, Y/N. Eighty degrees out.” She turns her head towards you, hand reaching for the phone in her pocket as if you don't believe her.

You stop her though.

“I believe you.”

Her actions halt.

“It's hot outside, Y/N.” She states a second later, eyes staring directly into yours. “But I – I, felt so cold for a moment.”

You blink.

“Like I was in the worst ice storm to ever occur on this planet.”

She blinks.

“What I'm trying to say is that – I think, I think I found my soulmate.” You watch as the corner of her lips tug upwards into a small smile. “I think I felt Yugyeom.”

You're taken by surprise. Your eyes widening just a tad as the weight of her words hit you like a freight train going one thousand miles an hour.

“You-” you pause, blinking again. “You think you met--” You're rambling, unable to finish the sentence.

“Yes.” She says. “It was so cold, Y/N. So fucking cold. And there wasn't any wind, not a breeze, nothing-- and I stopped, and I immediately started to see if someone was staring at me, or if someone had bumped into me but no- I couldn't – I lost him. Just like that.”

Her voice breaks towards the end, and it's not until you come back from your stunned state, do you realize that the wet on her face is not from the rain, but rather, from tears.

“I lost him Y/N. He was there one second, and gone the next. How- how-” she lets out a deep breath as she stares at you. “What if I never see him again, Y/N? What if the Universe just gave me the chance of finding him, to only rip it away before I could even get a look at him?”

“Yoona,” you say inbetween her shallow breaths and rushed sentences. “breathe okay? I need you to breathe.”

And you say this because you know what it looks like at the start of a panic attack, and Yoona – she was showing all signs of one about to start, of one forming, like a tornado right in front of you.

She nods slowly, her words fall silently as she focuses on breathing. Her body turning towards yours a bit more, as her left hand moves out to grasp your free one – your left, as well. And she holds onto your hand, holds onto it like it's the thread holding her to a mountain. Like if she lets go, she will fall to her death. And she squeezes, and you let her.

After a moment, when the death grip she has on your hand has lessened – if only for a little bit, after you're able to form coherent thoughts about how to react to this situation, you finally part your lips to speak.

“Where were you when you felt him, Yoona?”

It takes her a second to respond.

“The library.” She says in between breaths.

“The campus one?”

She nods her head.

And you let the corner of your lips tilt upwards. “Yoona, the campus library. He was near the campus library. Meaning, he has to attend our University.”

You notice how her body is starting to calm, how the rise and fall of her chest has dropped significantly. And your eyes stare at hers, and it's then that you can practically see the gears turning in her head.

��And babe, I know you're scared. I know you're frightened at the thought of never seeing him again, or that your opportunity has diminished, but -” you breathe out. “the Universe knows what it's doing, okay? It might not make sense as of now, but sooner or later things will become clear, things will fall into place-”

You're cut off.

“But what if-” you interject.

“And if worse case scenario occurs, and you both don't run into each other before college is over, we will find a way to him, alright? We'll sneak into the office and go through every “Kim Yugyeom,” file that exists, track each and every one of them down, and then you can personally slap him for not finding you sooner. Alright?”

And it only takes her a few seconds before she's nodding. Before she's calmed down completely.

“What--” she pauses, hesitance evident in her lack of body movements and how silently she lets the one word slip out. “What if I'm not ready?” She asks.

Gaze returning to yours.

And all you can do is smile.

Let the corner of your lips uplift the tiniest amount.

And your voice is quiet when you answer, your tone soft.

“We usually never are.”

“Oh my god, your hair!”

Is the first thing your father had stated when you had stepped out of your apartment later that day.

Both of your parents were standing by your father's car, and both of their eyes had widened at the exact same time, jaws dropping when you had appeared outside.

Their reaction was priceless, you only wished you had recorded it because it was something you never wanted to forget.

And that was about as much of a reaction they had had regarding the subject. They both were pleased, and were happy you had done something you wanted.

Even if it meant drastically changing your appearance.

They had embraced you with warm hugs, and tight squeezes while pressing lingering kisses into your hair.

And seeing your parents is one thing you will never grow tired of.

Being around them is another.

Even if sometimes it hurts to see just how in love they really are.

Because watching them, is like staring at a life you will never have.

Like staring at a love you are destined to never experience.

The thought causes your heart to ache.

You're sitting in one of the booths, while they take the seat across from you. And your eyes are staring directly at their intertwined hands. How their fingers seem to fit perfectly into each others.

And for a moment you start to wonder if Jimin and Yoongi's hand's would fit the same in yours, or if one would fit better than the other.

You don't spend much time lingering on that particular thought.

“Y/N,” comes your mother's sweet honey like voice. “how's living with Taehyung and Hoseok?”

Your eyes direct themselves from your parents intertwined fingers and up to your mother's eyes. At the mention of both of your beloved roommates you can't help but smile.

“It's fantastic.” You say. “The only problem I have is their forgetfulness when it comes to their keys. And how they expect me to do their laundry, because and I quote, “You're a girl, don't girl's like doing the laundry?”

And sure, you had been living with them for almost a year, but your parent's still worried, still wondered, and still asked questions.

You can hear the way your father tries but fails to stifle a laugh, and you can see the way your mom shakes her head as a knowing smile slides across her lips.

“Sexist, isn't it?” You ask, eyes remaining on your mother's, you glance down to her lips as an amused expression covers her features, as a smile grows onto them.

“But you're happy?” She asks a moment later, curiosity evident in her voice.

And despite the recent predicaments that had caused a few heartbreaks, and more than one entire day of you just sleeping in your bed, wasting the day, you nod your head. The smile on your lips not faltering.

“I'm happy.” You reassure her.

And for the most part, it's not a lie.

“Are you sleeping well?' Your father's voice cuts in, causing your head to turn to the most important man in your life.

You can see how his eyes flicker from your own, and to the bags settled underneath them, and you, for just a moment curse yourself for leaving your phone on vibrate instead of silent.

“For the most part.” You reply, head nodding a few times. “Studies, and boy roommates can be quite obnoxious.”

You watch the grin as it spreads across his face, head shaking a few times. But then his head stills, and his eyes glance upwards to yours, having forgotten the food on his plate for the time being.

“What about sex?” He asks a heartbeat later, taking you by complete and utter surprise.

You choke on the air, moving a hand up and to cover over your mouth quickly. Mostly to hide the embarrassment that paints itself pretty across your cheeks.

“Jiwo!” Your mother almost yells in a scolding, her hand moving from his and to flick the side of his head.

He turns to her suddenly, arms moving up in surrender. “What?” He replies. “I was just --”

“Prodding yourself into business where you certainly do not belong!” She interrupts, a look you can't quite decipher forming on her face.

And even though you're afraid you might die of embarrassment any moment, you speak. Mostly to save you dad's life, because you're certain your mom was going to kill him.

“No.” You reply honestly, catching both of their attention. “No sex.” You state, a chuckle falling from your lips afterward. “But, I have to agree with mom on this one, most definitely not your business.”

Your father shrugs, his shoulders uplifting as his hands move to grab both of his chopsticks he had dropped a moment prior of being scolded.

“But,” you continue, “you wouldn't have to worry. I'm an adult, meaning I know the repercussions, I know how to protect myself.” It comes out in a slow draw.

You watch as you father's nose starts to scrunch up in distaste, obviously growing uncomfortable with the thought of his daughter having sex with someone.

“Anyway!” Your mother says, both of her hands moving to clap together. A clear attempt at changing the subject.

She scoots forward then, chest pressing to the edge of the table. Her eyebrows raising, and a smile appearing on her lips. Her head tilts downwards as her eyes rest on yours. “Met anyone?”

You don't hesitate to shake your head.

“No.” You say, perhaps a little bit too rushed to be believable.

“Well,” she says, her free hand moving to grasp one of yours. “don't worry. When the Universe see's fit, it'll happen.”

You can only nod your head in response.

“But-” you say just a moment later.  Before having thought pretty much anything through. “we're uh – we're reading this novel in English,” you lie smoothly. “and I wanted your guys' opinion on it.”

This catches both of your parent's attention, your dad putting down his chopsticks, eyes falling onto yours. Your mom's attention had already been on you.

“All ears baby.” She says, gesturing you with a nod of her head to continue.

“It's about a- um, a boy,” you say, “who has two soulmate's.” You smile. “Like me. And well – he's found both of them, but one of them wants nothing to do with him- and the other, is well, with someone else.”

Your eyes glance down to the surface of the table you three are sitting at, not being able to look at your parent's faces as you lie to them so easily.

“And sh—he's caught in a predicament, you see. “

You pause, taking in a deep breath. You hardly notice the way your mom squeezes your hand.

“The one soulmate he's met – he's uh, offering him a friendship. Asking for a chance but – just to be friend's. After this boy has asked this soulmate for a chance repeatedly, after being refused several times. He's finally opening up to the idea or something. - And we're at the part in the book where he's trying to decide what to do about his soulmate's. Whether he should reveal his name to his soulmate, and if he should accept the offer from the other.”

You look upwards, eyes staring from your father's and then to your mother's where they stay for a moment.

“So what would you guys do if you were him?”

Your father clears his throat, this drawing your attention. And he holds your gaze for a moment, like he wants to say something, but at the last moment he decides against it.

“I think,” he says, deep voice reminding you of a beacon of hope in horrid situation. He turns to stare at your mother as he finishes his sentence. “This is one for your mother, I was never good at English, after all.” He lets out a chuckle, trying to clear the suddenly terse atmosphere.

You nod your head, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. And you want to ask your father if he's able to see through your lies, to see through your false feelings, because after all, he's the one who taught you how to hide them so unintentionally.

You direct your attention to your mother. Whose eyes, you find, are as sharp as knives as she stares at you. But despite her deep stare, a soft expression is written across her face.

“I think,” she says a moment later. She shakes her head. “That's – those are both two very difficult situations. Whoever wrote this book – they must not have a heart.” She nods her head as she speaks.

You let out a slow breath, and she does the same.

“In my opinion, sh-he's,” she corrects herself quickly. “has already lost one of his soulmate's. Permanently or not, we don't know. And for some reason, his other soulmate seems to be coming around. So instead of answering for him, I'd ask him one question, and one question only.”

She stops, her eyes peering into yours.

And you cannot do anything to calm the nerves in your stomach.

“What would you ask him?”

You ponder hesitantly.

It takes her just a moment to respond, her hand giving yours another gentle squeeze.

“I'd ask him if he was ready to lose another soulmate. Permanently or not.”

You let the weight of her words sink in. You allow your brain to process them slowly. You think over them. Every letter, every syllable, every vowel, every word until you've memorized that sentence.

Until you're positively sure you could recite it perfectly.

“As for the other predicament – I,” she says slowly. “I honestly don't know. Like we've told you years ago, some people find love in someone who is not their soulmate. So I guess- I guess it depends on him. Depends on his thoughts of whether he believes that soulmates not being with one another is okay. It's a very diverse topic.”

And then she's rolling her shoulders back.

“I just hope that this character knows that he has friend's and family who are there for him. No matter what happens, or so I assume he does?”

You can only nod your head in response, your brain still trying to recover from what she stated earlier.

“Well said, my love.” Your father says as he stares at your mother, a smile on his lips and admiration in his eyes. He turns back to you.

“Now, let's eat. I'm starved!”

You force a smile, trying to shake thoughts of your predicament out of your head.

You're unable to eat half of what's on your plate.

It's on your walk home from the cafe/restaurant, that you realize just what you're going to do about Park Jimin – at least for now.

Because as you're about to pass the place you saw Jimin and the stranger last, you're met with the sight of them both, again, outside. Only this time they aren't kissing, but instead planting flowerbeds in their windowsill, or at least – Jimin is.

You wanted to ask them what the use was, it had been raining and it would probably end up raining again, if the sky had anything to say about it.

But here they were, doing something so domestic it made your stomach flip.

The stranger, you have yet to discover the name of, is crouching down at their sidewalk, a pot of flowers beside her, and a small shovel in her hand. She seems to be digging up a space for the plant. The ground is wet and mud is going to stain the kneecap parts of her pants.

Good.

You think.

Hoping deep inside that those jeans were her favorite and that they would in fact be ruined.

And it's when you see Jimin turn around, watch as those beautiful eyes move to stare at the back of the girl on the ground, and something that you can't quite pinpoint, but if you had to guess would be pure and innocent love fill them, that you immediately regret your thoughts.

Because the smile that spreads across Jimin's lips, says enough.

Is one you know all too well. Because years ago, when you met the girl of your dreams in highschool, she had smiled at you that same way.

You had no right to be bitter or upset towards the girl Jimin was in love with.

In all honesty, you should be thanking her.

Because, sure, she may have stolen your soulmate from you.

But something in the way Jimin stares at her, the way that smile forms on that beautifully tan skin, says that Jimin definitely went with her willingly.

And you should be thanking her – for loving Jimin in a way, you could only hope to do someday.

And it's as you witness this, that you decide.

You were not going to give up your identity to Jimin – at least not for now.

And even though they had taken a chance of your happiness away– you were not going to ruin or take away theirs.

And even though you had lost a soulmate, to someone you could only hope would love Jimin as much as you could have, ��it only made you want to grasp onto the one you had left tightly.

Made you want to be in Yoongi's life.

Even if it was just for a friendship.

You turn the corner then, deciding to take a detour to Yoongi's apartment.

You've finally come to your decision.

If it was friendship Min Yoongi wanted, it was a friendship he was going to get.

Pt. 10

A/N- Before you all decide to murder me because of the length of this chapter, part 10 will be released either today, or here in a few days. Originally it was all supposed to be one big chapter, but I didn’t think it ran well together.

I am so sorry for the delay, but inspiration did not come easily for these two chapters. Any who, I hope this was somewhat enjoyable. Thoughts, opinions, theories, and speculations are always welcomed! See you soon!

Much love!

PS - I am fairly irritated because Tumblr never italicizes or bolds the words I want >:( ALSO, if this is your gif please let me know! the gif maker was lost :(

PSS - I was too nervous to read through this again, so if it’s horrible or a sentence doesn’t make sense, or there’s  grammatical errors please let me know, thank you!