#despite the absolutely monumental impact its had on music as a whole

[raidenfanclub]

Here's a list of things I've been obsessed with at one point or another/still am obsessed with

inspired by a post made by my bitc*-as*s-sister @deargodhelpmeaaaaaaaaa

this is like in order of when I was obsessed, going from elementary school to today (late high school)

There's so many lmao- the ones showed above are like the most impactful interests I've had- I've liked other things, they just didn't rewrite my goofy brain like all these did

ok explanation time

Pokemon- absolutely loved these games as a kid. I gaslit my older sister into thinking pokemon were real when we were really young. Almost my entire elementary school life was defined by this series and I adore all my pokemon plushies.

FNAF- ok so my sister liked it, so then I liked it. Our neighborhood friend and us had a whole club centered around the characters and we kinned assigned ourselves with all the animatronics. I was Mangle/Foxy btw.

Zelda- Probably one of the most influential games of my entire life. I played through so many of them in the later part of my elementary school years and cherished my toon Link plushie. I literally considered myself ThE gIrL lInK and pretended I was him. Breath of the Wild came out when I was deeply obsessed with the games and also when I was having an extremely awful time in my life. Botw may have unironically saved me. This series is a cornerstone to my identity.

Undertale- My sister liked it, so then I did too. Me, her, and her best friend, kin assigned ourselves characters without knowing what kinning was. I was temmie and muffet btw. I loved this game- then hated it because thats what was considered cool. But nowadays I just love it because its truly an amazing game and I dont care about its fandom reputation anymore.

(ima mention mincraft- even tho its not listed- minecraft was another cornerstone of my happiness and identity)

Hatsune Miku (and just vocaloid in general)- another "my sister liked it, so then I did" i liked the characters and the music. Me and my sister went to an event for the Miku expo one time, and it was so much fun. (it was an event where everybody drew miku and itd be scanned for the "Blue Star" music video, i remember it vividly) was an amazing time. I still like some vocaloid songs and love miku. Some of my school friends say I'm the real hatsune miku because I own a miku cosplay lol.

Splatoon- Everybody in middle school knew me as the girl with the squid bag and zelda jacket. I adored splatoon with the release of splatoon 2. I played it with my friends, I played it on my own, I made big deals out of splatfest (to the point where my parents were like "oh its splatfest? that's ur favorite!!) this game also really pushed me into becoming an artist. I would spend hours trying to recreate the artstyle and for like 2 years, all i ever drew was splatoon art. Another cornerstone series like Zelda.

Persona- oh no another cornerstone of my identity series... I look back at these games very critically and nowadays am not a huge fan of the writing choices. But in middle school, when I first played these games- omg they made me a better person because of how much I wanted to be like the protagonists. I wanted to be a reliable friend like them, so I worked really hard to try and become a better person. Despite the problems in the writing, these games really did help me- also they were my introduction to shin megami tensei) I should also note, THE ART! Playing persona encouraged me to shift my cartoony splatoon style into a more semi-realistic anime style like persona. My art improved monumentally from how much I studied Soejima's illustrations. It really inspired me.

Evangelion- I actually read the manga first. I reread it a bunch because covid started up and I had it checked out from the library. We couldnt return them with covid restrictions so I just reread them a bunch. Then I eventually watched the show and just loved it. I got my sister into it a year after I did, and we made a tradition of watching End of Evangelion once a month. Also a major influence on how I view writing and my artstyle.

Shin Megami Tensei- OK ANOTHER CORNERSTONE BUT these games made me realize the depth video games can have. Even though some of the games are really on the noise with their themes- games like Nocturne and Strange Journey blew me away with their creativity. I have so much to say about this series but I will keep it concise and say that this may be my all time favorite series (though its a close contender with Metal Gear)

JoJo- First off, I adore the art so much. But my friend encouraged me and my sister to watch it, we really enjoyed binging the series- and then I read the rest of the manga (SBR MY BELOVED). But i think why i especially love jojo is the friends I made from it, I joined the Fandom wiki community (and although it had its toxicity) I met one of my best friends there and had so much fun drawing things for my online buddies and chatting. Im not on the wiki anymore, but i still talk to some friends from it- and I still really enjoy the series itself PART 9 IS SO FUN SO FAR!!

Monster Hunter- really mh rise, I havent gotten to playing the other games (YET) but me and my sister play thsi game together, its awesome, I love the monsters, I got really good at drawing dragons because I would constantly draw the creatures from this series. I own the mh world artbook and that thing has got to be the best artbook ever- its my bible.

NieR/Drakengard- the same friend who recommended jojo to me recommended nier to me (he's such a real one, absolute bestie) We were gonna play replicant together but he got grounded so he let me experience it on my own. And I adored replicant, it was so fun to play with zero expectation of what it was. the Nier games may have my favorite sort of aesthetic but also I love its characters and its writing. Of course, when I got into Nier I went and played Drakengard also!!! Me and my sister played all these games together (tho she didnt play replicant with me, she just walked in on the most crucial plot points) But we played Drakengard 3 together, (ultimate sister bonding experience) and even though drakengard 3 IS SO FLAWED, we had a lot of fun. The Final Boss (which took me 3 weeks to beat btw) was so much fun for us (i still refight it sometimes) ... We of course played Drakengard 1, we spent $130 to get it actually, played it all (i suffered thru obtaining ending E) and we though it was awesome. Still havent played Drakengard 2 yet, but one day. I love this series for its writing, characters, aesthetics, and being able to discuss it with my evil sister.

Genshin- i dont wanna talk about it. I played it with friends, made me happy to become closer to ppl by playing it. I like some of the characters. ok bye...

Metal Gear Solid- My sister says I had the ultimate character arc by going from being obsessed with Genshin to being a die-hard Metal Gear Fan. I played all the games in late 2022, and it's probably the most brainrot I have ever experienced for a series- absolutely a cornerstone series. Everything about it is just awesome. I could go on for hours. I HAVE GONE ON FOR HOURS (to my poor friends) I literally made my tumblr just to look at metal gear fanart. The games inspired me to finally get better at drawing realism, and some of my most iconic art has come from my fanart for the games. I love my friends in the fanbase too, its awesome. I think about Metal Gear every single day. Never missed a dose of my metal gear fangirlling pills.

Silent Hill- My sister and I were playing sh2 together, then didnt play it for 6 months, and then I played the entire game without her (sorry maddy) Im still going through the 1st game and have the 3rd one in my backlog- but the atmosphere and psycological horror in these games is everything to me. The creature design and lighting choices have inspired my art, and I think about these games all the time. The latter half of sh2 actually terrified me a bit, and horror games dont really scare me.

Resident Evil- I have no idea how I got into the games but I played re4 over winter break this year, and realllly liked it- I adore Leon and I don't care what anybody else claims, HE IS MY MAN. But after re4 I played re2r and re7, and I just love the gameplay and the characters. Even if the games are really goofy and not really scary (I have balls of steel, re7 didnt scare me, but i loved the tension) But i love the goofiness and how campy they are. Me and my sister played re5 together and made a bunch of silly jokes- making resident evil multiplayer was the best decision ever. I can't wait to play the rest of the series.

Trigun- My most recent obsession (although it coincides with my silent hill and resident evil hyperfixations), I had first watched the show like 3 years ago- REALLLY LIKED IT- but didnt finish the anime. And then never touched it until I saw stampede's first episode. I went a watched the 1998 anime and read the manga. I can't describe how much this series has come to mean to me and it literally won't leave my head. I don't like stampede. I love the animation but I just can't. It's a-ok if your a fan, i genuinely see the appeal but you'll only catch me talking about it if its either about peak quality animation or a 3-hour rant about my problems with the writing. THE ORIGINAL SERIES HOWEVER! means the world to me. I reread volume 10 like 6 times and cried eachtime. My friend explains things to me in "trigun" terminology" as a joke when we have personal conversations. I love trigun so much.

Ok there's def more things I really enjoy, like Nijisanji, Ghost-n-pals, Chainsaw man, Death Stranding, Honkai Impact, Sailor Moon,,, the list goes on. But Everything I wrote essays about are my most physically obvious obsessions

Nijisanji actually deserves its own paragraph but im tired lol.

[monstermashdefunct]

ska recommendations please

OH SHIT!!!!!! okay im not particularly well-versed in ska because i was Into Ska (TM) when i was six and just listening to my dad’s CDs and im just barely trying to get back into it so any ska purists who might see this dont get on my ass about technicalities

so my like Classic All Time Favorite is Madness, like i said in my last post i had their “best of” cd (by which i mean my dad had the cd and let me play it on my siblings old discman) when i was a kid and listened to it SO much. if u want to feel the exact emotion of “what plays in a twelve year old boy’s brain at a bowling alley when his mom says he can get pizza” its perfectly conveyed by One Step Beyond which was my favorite song for like quite literally my entire childhood 

getting into the stuff i’ve been into recently i listen to the 2003 album Everything Went Numb by streetlight manifesto pretty much every day. my fav songs from them are point/counterpoint, a better place a better time (my friend put this on a playlist for me last year and i think ive developed a parasocial relationship with it), forty days, and the recieving end of it all. 

some groups that im not as well versed with but still kinda into r like. the specials (ghost town is my fav for “my username on the internet is monster mash” purposes), the mighty mighty bosstones (i feel like tmmb very much kind of revolutionized the overlap between ska and the late 80s punk mvmt. my fav is the rascal king) save ferris (their cover of come on eileen is why im gay), rancid, the dead 60s, reel big fish, goldfinger, anti-flag, no doubt, russkaja (i was SUPER into russkaja when i was like 14 because of these two covers they did). 

this is all i can think of rn but when my dad gets out of the meeting he’s in i’ll ask him for any additions and add them in a reblog!! also any of my followers who have suggestions pls feel free to drop some in the replies :-)

[blancheludis]

A/N: @stony-week, day 6: flying

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers Relationship: Tony Stark / Steve Rogers Tags: Flying, Fear of Flying, Established Relationship, 2012 Avengers, Fluff

Summary: Captain America is not afraid of anything - or so the story goes. Yet when Tony wants to pick him up for a post-battle flight home, Steve bails. 

---

The Avengers saved the day. The bad guys are in custody, their tech in SHIELD’s hands, the civilian’s safe. They even helped with clean-up, although the property damage was kept fairly low – this time. Still, they are lingering. Some brave souls have overcome the recent trauma already and pose for a picture with Thor.

Tony is bored. More specifically, he wishes the call to assemble had come half an hour later because he was in the middle of a very romantic, self-prepared lunch with Steve, which was ruined because some mindless goons decided to take their gang war to the next level. And now Steve is talking to the police instead of rushing back home and picking up where they left off as Tony wants to. Even though the mood is thoroughly ruined, of course. They can pick it up again, they always do, if only Steve would stop lazing around.

Fed up, Tony stops his watchful circling of the crime scene and lands rather unsubtly right next to Steve.

“We’re all set here?” he asks, hoping Steve will pick up on the subtext.

“Almost,” Steve answers with a knowing smile. He still turns back to the officer, finishing his conversation.

Tony does not do well with being ignored, so he makes his way back to the group. They are all waiting for Steve now. At this point, Tony is sure he does it on purpose.

Then, finally, Steve joins them, his face one of accomplishment that can only come from beating up some bad guys.

“All right, let’s go.”

These words are music in Tony’s ears. Sidling up next to Steve, he asks, “Need a lift?” Taking the suit will be so much quicker.

He is already holding out his arms for Steve to step into, so he does not notice the way Steve’s expression turns stricken.

“I’m not exactly a fan of flying,” Steve says slowly, eyeing the suit with a kind of trepidation Tony has until now only ever connected to him doing reckless stunts in it.

“You – what?” Tony asks, sure he has misheard. This is Captain America, after all. “How can you not – You never complain when we take the quinjet.”

A slight blush colours Steve’s neck. “Well, I stay clear of the cockpit. Not looking out helps.”

Tony is sure he is missing something here. Maybe an elaborate prank. Or Steve does not want to get back quickly, not alone with Tony.

“You jumped out of a plane without a parachute,” Tony points out dryly, trying for humour. Nobody laughs.

“Yeah, well, that was on a mission.” In an almost reassuring tone, Steve adds, “And you caught me.”

If he thought that would mollify Tony, he was wrong. “You don’t think I’m going to let you fall now, are you?”

Realizing he still has his arms half-open in invitation, Tony lets them fall abruptly, leaving them to hang at his side listlessly. Somehow, everything is going wrong today.

“Of course not,” Steve says quickly. There is no mistaking the way he looks everywhere but at the suit, though. “I just – I think I’d prefer staying on the ground.”

“But –” Tony tries to take a step forward but is stopped by Clint’s hand on his shoulder. He could easily shake the archer off, but something in his face warns Tony not to.

“Stop being insensitive, Stark,” Clint snaps. At his side, Natasha glares.

“I’m not,” Tony protests and turns to look at the rest of the team too. “This is just new information. Aren’t you curious why our fearless leader is apparently not that fearless?”

“You’re afraid of things too,” Bruce interjects knowingly. None of them looks particularly surprised. Well, it is hardly the first time they realized one of their teammates is messed up. With Steve, it is simply personal for Tony. He should know these things.

“Yes,” Tony agrees with stubborn petulance. “And I have a reason for each one of them.”

“And we’re not asking about them,” Bruce says firmly.

Clint does not waste any energy on kindness but simply warns, “Just let it go.”

While taken aback, Tony knows when a battle is lost. “All right, losers,” he says, closing his faceplate. “I’ll see you at the tower.”

Not waiting for an answer, Tony takes off. He is surprised to find that he is upset. Not at the others for telling him off, but for not knowing that Steve is afraid of flying. Considering that their main transport to missions is the quinjet and Tony himself sometimes does not ever want to come back to the ground, this is a monumental recovery. Steve is always so adamant on solving all his problems himself and suffering in silence until then. It is like he does not trust them – does not trust Tony – to help.

The tower comes into sight far too soon, long before Tony has managed to sort through his conflicting feelings. Since Steve is not there to watch him, he climbs higher into the sky. Flying has always helped to clear his mind.

When he gets back, he will talk to Steve.

Steve is sitting on their bed, paging through one of is sketchbooks when Tony comes in. With how quickly he had taken off after the battle, Steve was afraid Tony was upset. Looking at his face now, Steve can only detect worry and a hint of uncertainty.

“Hey, Steve,” Tony says quietly, hesitating in the doorway.  “I’m sorry about earlier.”

Steve blinks in surprise. Not only at the words but because it seems like Tony does not move farther into the room, as if he is unsure whether he is wanted here. This is their bedroom, though, and Tony is not usually one for being shy.

“You don’t have to apologize.” Steve cocks his head to the side. “Who talked you into this? Bruce?”

Staring at his hands, Tony admits, “Actually, it was JARVIS. He had some very choice words about me not respecting other people’s boundaries.”

Their conversation after the mission had not been that bad, which means that Tony must have come home full of plans to cure Steve of his fear, whether he wants to or not.

Since he does not want to argue, though, Steve shrugs. “It’s stupid.”

“You don’t have to tell me. And I’m sure it’s not –”

Steve cuts him off with a glare, then sighs. He pats the place next to him on the bed in invitation. It takes Tony a whole minute to decide to come, and when he does, he still leaves some room between them. With a jolt, Steve realizes that this is Tony giving him space since he himself never likes touching someone when having an argument or talking about problematic feelings.

Instead of reaching out anyway, Steve looks at some place beyond Tony’s shoulder. As clear-cut as the matter had been only moments before, it is now hard to find a beginning.

“It always feels like I’m back on that plane, pointing it down at the ocean,” he finally says rushing out the words. “I remember telling Peggy to save me that dance and then just coldness until I wake up seventy years too late.”

There had been more to it. The plane had been rattling all around him, straining against the sudden change of its course. Despite being fine with his decision, Steve had not been able to look away from the grey surface of the sea coming ever closer, first nothing but an emotionless mass, then growing increasingly hungrier, waves reaching out to pull him under.

The crash itself had not been that bad. Steve had expected the impact, the pain. As ridiculous as it sounds, he had been more upset at Peggy’s picture being flung out of sight than at being thrown around like a ragdoll himself. He had sunk in and out of consciousness for several minutes, confused as to why he was still alive. That was when the water came rushing in. Holding his breath had been a mere stupid instinct.

“Oh, Steve,” Tony says, his face stricken as if he had not realized that Steve’s fear has a whole, complicated reason behind it. “That’s – I’m so sorry.”

Steve clicks his tongue, annoyed at himself for making an issue out of this. “You don’t have to be sorry.”

His mouth already open to protest, Tony narrows his eyes at him and stops. Swallowing the first response coming to their mind had helped a great deal in overcoming their differences as had looking beyond the first bad impressions they made with each other.

“Then let me be sorry about pressuring you,” Tony finally says, the kind of stubborn tilt to his chin that makes it obvious he will not budge on this. “This is far from stupid. Steve, you crashed that plane on purpose. You were ready to die. And then you woke up in a whole new century with just about everything and everyone from your old life dead. That’s not a stupid fear.”

By now, Steve has accepted his fate, his new life. He still speaks with fondness of what he had, but he has found things now he had never been able to even dream of back in the forties. Tony has been a great factor in that.

“I should be afraid of crashing,” Steve argues, “not of flying with my boyfriend.”

Tony’s face brightens at the mention of their relationship. It works every time, without fail, reminding Steve that he is not the only one still in absolute wonder as to how this could have happened.

Before Steve can relax, though, Tony frowns. “If you think you can distract me by calling me your boyfriend and making such a kissable face you’re –” he makes the mistake of looking at Steve’s lips and interrupts himself, “probably right.” With visible effort, he shakes his head. “But I need to get this out first. You’re not stupid for being afraid of the thing that almost killed you,” he says firmly, voice brooking no argument. “You wouldn’t be stupid even if you didn’t have some more than valid trauma connected to flying.”

Tony throws a hand up in the air, caught between smiling and scowling. “Flying’s crazy,” he exclaims. “We humans are beyond reckless for reaching for the sky. Up there you realize how very small you really are, how powerless, how quickly your life can be over if just one little thing goes wrong.” He stops, looking sheepish for embellishing the very thing Steve fears. “If anything, you’re smart for being afraid of something so fundamentally terrifying.”

Tony is right, but there is one simple reason that holds Steve back whenever he wants to ask Tony to stop being so reckless while in the air. “You love it.”

Not buying Steve’s nonchalance, Tony rolls his eyes. “Yes, but I make a hobby out of flirting with death,” he says, then quickly keeps talking to lessen the chance of this turning into an argument about that again. “And I’ve got a shitload of actually stupid fears. I mean, bathtubs. I get water-boarded once and now I can’t get into my luxuriously big bathtub in my own home anymore?”

Steve winces. Although it is utterly unreasonable to regret not having been able to help Tony while he was a captive of the Ten Rings, it is impossible to ignore. “Tony, you’re not making me feel better by making small of your fears.” With vehemence, he adds, “Which are definitely not stupid either.”

When Tony starts grinning, Steve feels like he has fallen into a trap.

“Hah! Either,” Tony exclaims, too cheerful for their current discussion. “So you admit you not wanting to fly is not some inherent character flaw but a reasonable fear.”

That is certainly not what Steve meant. Choosing to crash a plan is hardly comparable with being tortured. “I have a feeling you’re not going to let me say no.”

“Nope. And despite what JARVIS told me, I need you to think about whether you want us to do something about it.” He interprets Steve’s falling face right, because he hastily amends, “Not today, not tomorrow. Take your time.”

“Do something about it?” Steve asks with some wariness.

“Flying is beautiful.” The wonder in Tony’s voice is palpable. “To me, it means utter freedom. I would love for you to see why it brings me so much joy, but if you tell me no, that’s okay too. Although you’ll need to tell me how I can make the quinjet more comfortable for you.”

He knows that Tony is always looking for things to fix, to improve. Not wanting to fly does not impact Steve’s life overly much. If Tony made a project out of it, though, it could do more harm than good. Steve does not want to lose what he has.

Cautiously, he says, “Tony, that’s –”

“The least I can do.,” Tony cuts him off. With a slightly apologetic expression he says, “Maybe, in return, you’ll manage to coax me into that bathtub of mine.”

That is emotional blackmail. Steve does not get the chance to say anything about it, because Tony seems to have decided that the time for conversation is over. He shifts closer to Steve, putting a hand on his shirt, right over his heart.

“For now, I’m happy with you getting naked for me.”

Steve is barely able to stop his own hands from immediately following through with Tony’s suggestion. “You’re incorrigible,” he sighs. “But that’s what I love you for.”

Suddenly, Tony looks away. It is still hard to anticipate what might push Tony over some edge.

“I’m glad you love me for my worse qualities,” he says quietly, discouraged.

That is something, Steve will not let stand. Reaching out, he frames Tony’s face in his hands and pulls him in for a kiss. “I love you for being you.”

His smile back in place, Tony says. “I love you too.” They kiss again before Tony pulls away and tugs at Steve’s hand. “Now, lose that shirt.”

[shogetsus]

Stripes of Auburn, Eye of Sapphire

Prologue Pt. IV

Read on Ao3 | Read on FFN |  Masterlist

Summary:  Her annoyance tones down several levels at the sound of genuine laughter, coming from the second man accompanying Hideyoshi. It’s musical and warm but just so, exactly like… spring, too tempting to join in the mirth. That, and as well as turning it impossible for Mai not to turn her eyes to the source, briefly abandoning her desperate search for Sasuke.

And for some reason, her heart seems to do a dramatic double flip when she finds it.

“So… you’re Mai? A stalwart lass, indeed,” The first detail she notices in him are some incredible eyes—or best to say, eye in singular, an eyepatch sadly covering the other—gleaming in hues of sapphire blue, almost taking her breath away with its enrapturing beauty.

If he hasn’t already with that heartwarming laughter, that is.

Mai

The ninja before her tilts his head, a brief but hopeful smile crossing his face. “You recognize me now?” He wonders tentatively.

Mai’s eyes almost bulge out of its sockets.

The man’s glasses glint as a thunder breaks through, giving her a somewhat worried once-over. “Are you alright? You have an umbrella?” His serious expression doesn’t waver, yet he seems as polite as for asking.

Her knees feel like giving up once again, “You’re the med school student at the Honno-ji monument!” Mai cries, shocked to the core, an avalanche of questions rising before she can stop them.

That sheepish smile widens, though, sighing softly. “Um, post-graduate in physics, not medicine. But I’m so glad you remember me,” The relief in his face seems like the most genuine she’s seen so far, while trapped in that too livid nightmare, “That makes things much easier.”

Slowly yet surely, her face brightens. “So you ended up in the past too!” But if that guy was truly relieved, oh boy, he definitely has no idea how much weight he’d just pulled off her shoulders, suddenly feeling like hugging him for dear life.

I’m not really alone in here, thank the heavens!

The sight of his clothes and overall getup are a mystery, though. “Um, I’ll say it’s weird seeing you as a ninja,”

He snorts softly, understanding her confusion. “It’s better if I start from the beginning. My name is Sasuke,” He begins to explain what truly happened ever since they encountered in the future—or their present time, as he insists in remarking—while walking together through the woods, the whole recount making Mai’s head spin.

Sitting down on a tree stump, she just hears him out. According to him, the sudden thunderstorm and that lightning bolt that’d shattered the Honno-ji stone monument was product of an unnatural event, which caused a warp between space and time and sent the two of them to the timeline they’re currently living on.

“Or well, that’s a very simplified and condensed version of my theory,” Sasuke excuses himself for the possible vague summary, adjusting his glasses once in a while, “Given we both encountered the same wormhole, we appear to be in the same timeline. But despite having entered at the same time, I ended up arriving four years prior to you,” A brief wince crosses his face.

Mai gapes at him, “Four years!?” She quickly closes her mouth, thoughts running wild, “Now that you say that, it explains a several lot,” She points out, gesturing vaguely at his figure.  

Sasuke nods, “However, in these years, I’ve learned that this period, the Sengoku, and Japan’s civil war is quite different than the one we’re familiar with.” That addition makes her quirk a brow.

More different than how it is now? Is that for other reason than me saving Nobunaga? This is becoming a weird science fiction drama and I don’t like it one bit!

She swallows her questions for a moment, allowing him to keep explaining. According to Sasuke and just like how it’d happened to Nobunaga and her, he has arrived at the date of Kenshin Uesugi’s historical death instead. However, Sasuke’s quick thinking and knowledge of modern medicine had ensured Kenshin’s survival—leaving him, as well as Nobunaga in the current moment, also alive. But they weren’t the only ones.

The marvelous creature crafted by the very gods, Shingen Takeda, was supposed to have died by the current time as well. But for some reason—in which Sasuke insisted he hasn’t been involved with—he was still around when he shouldn’t be.

“I can’t believe it,” Mai holds her chest, trying to process everything as best as she can. “The one single time I act up out of my interests at heart and just thinking in another person’s survival, I screw that up. And now we… we changed the past?”

“Well, to a degree, yeah.” At least Sasuke doesn’t feel like lying to her face, regardless of how awful it must be for him to say it. “What I can assume from this is that we’re in an alternate Sengoku period, not the one we know from school.” She can tell by the look of his face that news can be either hopeful or absolutely devastating, but turns out, there’s not really a way to know for the current moment. “Because of these fluctuations in space-time we’re in one of most possibly many divergent timelines, one in which history will take a different course.”

She feels her head spinning—time travel, alternate history, divergent timelines. It actually sounds like science fiction.

“As a matter of fact, I major in theoretical astrophysics at Kyoto University, specializing in wormholes and their potential for time travel.” Sasuke goes on, a different glint on his eyes. This probably must be his ultimate dream, to some degree, then. “I’d conceived a method for predicting the conditions for patterns by which traversable wormholes manifest. That’s why I was at the stone monument that day.” He frowns a little, “To verify my method.”

Well, if she’d previously thought the people in this time were definitely something out of this world, Mai truly has to reconsider that—she’s having a conversation with a guy who can predict wormholes, and from her present time. Things just keep going crazier and crazier, it seems like.

“I’ve been looking for you here, though. Given how it happened, I expected you must have traveled back in time as I did.” There’s when he gets somewhat grim, “But… I hadn’t conceived the possibility you’d arrive four years later.”

Oh, dear. The passing comment makes her feel guilty—the guy has already spent four years completely alone in that crazy timeline, and she was already losing her mind for being around just some mere hours. “So… all things considered, this certainly doesn’t look out to be a dream. Wow.”

“I suppose you could say it’s a dream for me,” A sheepish smile clings to his face, confirming her past assumptions, “I get to see the famous people of the Sengoku era with my own eyes.”

“Yeah, you’re strangely chipper about this,” Mai feels inclined to admit out in the open, sharing his smile regardless.

“Well, my parents were history buffs. I actually got my name from the legendary ninja who served Yukimura Sanada,” There’s a proud gleam in his eyes as he comments on it, as well as some obvious homesickness. “I’ve figured out to take his ‘place’ in this world as Sasuke Sarutobi. That would help to keep my historical impact low to some degree.”

Mai nods in admission, “And were your parents well versed in martial arts, too?” She wouldn’t be surprised if they were—that is still a skill worth learning about in their present time, after all, and even she’s somewhat skilled in some. “Or is this ninja getup you’ve got something you picked up while you were here?”

“Oh, no, I studied that here. It seemed useful to pick up a marketable vocation.” He shrugs it off, not giving it much importance. However, considering the guy went from astrophysicist to ninja, Mai can’t help but blink at his frighteningly quick skills for adaptation.

Although she isn’t really scared of her one closest thing of an ally in that world, so Mai shakes off her shock as fast as it comes. Besides, putting aside her natural surprise over that fact, she won’t lie and not admit the guy is pretty much a handicap and quite resourceful, all things considered.

He outstretches a hand to help her haul to her feet, “Right now, I’m employed with that man you saw earlier…” His glasses glint once again just slightly, his face brightening with an idea, “You should come with me! I can assure you I’ll find a way to return us both to the present time.”

Despite being an odd one, Mai has no doubts he’s her best shot for getting back home. And truth is, sticking with a guy who truly knows the situation she’s in may increase her chances for survival to several degrees up. Yup, definitely my best card to play.

“Why, you bet I’m going—“ Her reassurance dies fast on her lips as another voice rushes on through the woods, startling them both.

“Mai, where are you?”

She freezes in her spot. That one belongs to one of Nobunaga’s men, that’s for sure, but recognizing it doesn’t stop her blood from running cold. Could it be Hideyoshi?

“Mai! Come out already!”

At the sound of approaching horses, Sasuke grows grim. But before Mai can come up with another word, in the blink of an eye he’s gone and out of her sight, slipping into the shadows of the forest. No, Sasuke! Don’t leave me alone now that I found you! What about our plan?

However, before she has any chance to follow him, two men on horseback are quicker to arrive and get to her. Indeed, one of them is Hideyoshi.

“I searched the whole forest for you,” He deadpans, although putting up his best neutral smile, so Mai can’t tell if he’s upset or not.

Mai frowns, deep down not wishing to put up a fight, but it’s not like she’s in the mood to be sympathetic. “Well, I didn’t ask you to, have I?” And to make it worse, he’d just driven off her only ticket home.

Hideyoshi gapes for a brief moment, “How insolent you can get?” He frowns back, staring at her as if not possibly believing her defiant manners, his horse quick to block the one possible way for her to run away, “Hiding from Lord Nobunaga for no reason whatsoever and—“

“Why, ‘no reason’?” Mai can’t really tell if Sasuke’s still around, but best she can make of is buy herself some time. Besides, the guy already got on her nerves, “He asked me to conquer the world with him and clearly didn’t look like he was going to take a no for an answer!”

“That is no way to—!”

However, her annoyance tones down several levels at the sound of genuine laughter, coming from the second man accompanying Hideyoshi. It’s musical and warm but just so, exactly like… spring, too tempting to join in the mirth. That, and as well as turning it impossible for Mai not to turn her eyes to the source, briefly abandoning her desperate search for Sasuke.

And for some reason, her heart seems to do a dramatic double flip when she finds it.

“So… you’re Mai? A stalwart lass, indeed,” The first detail she notices in him are some incredible eyes—or best to say, eye in singular, an eyepatch sadly covering the other—gleaming in hues of sapphire blue, almost taking her breath away with its enrapturing beauty.

If he hasn’t already with that heartwarming laughter, that is.

“I’ve no doubts you’re the woman who defied Lord Nobunaga.” Her face grows hot as she feels the way the man’s single eye roams over her, heartbeat pounding on her ears. Regardless, Mai does her best to keep her composure.

“And you are? Someone else I’m supposed to recognize?” Her voice unconsciously shifts into flirty levels and she slaps herself inwardly.

Where did that come from? Oh well, at least I haven’t put up on a pathetic show as I did with… what was his name, now?

But she can’t keep going with that train of thought as the second most incredibly handsome man she’s ever met reaches down for her. “I’d be terribly pleased if you did, but now’s not the best time to talk...”

And just like that, he effortlessly—and so much as literally—sweeps her up her feet, placing her on his horse. Tucked snugly against his chest, Mai has the ultimate blessing of the first view of that charming, bossy smile plastered all over his face. For all intents and purposes, she can’t possibly bring herself to move an inch or even breathe when he leans closer and into her personal space, bangs brushing her forehead and hot breath gracing her ear.

“Masamune Date,” He whispers so seductively Mai feels about to pass out. “Remember it… Mai.”

The way her name rolls on his lips, oh isn’t he a gift from the very gods. She genuinely has no idea how she manages to stay up that horse but most definitely her brain goes into short-circuiting at the mere sound of it.

Right, he’s the One-Eyed Dragon, then. She recalls the name from the magazine, but really, if she’d been swooning over the pictures of him, as a matter of fact, those didn’t make justice in the slightest in comparison to the real deal.

Hideyoshi is, of course, the one to break her from that rapturing spell made by Masamune’s smug smile. “Masamune is head of the noble Date clan of Oshu. He’s also allied with Lord Nobunaga, so show some respect.”

Why, if Hideyoshi is actually trying to impress me with those unnecessary bits of trivia, I’ve got news for him.

But with him as an odd third wheel, Mai doesn’t feel like staying up on that horse anymore, suddenly finding the situation uncomfortable enough for her liking. “Well, thank you both for the introduction, but I find these manhandling manners quite a bit rude. Could I be put down now?”

“Settle down. You’ll spook the horse.” He brushes off her complaint, an arm snaking its way around her waist. She can’t really blame Masamune for not sounding convincing enough, chuckling low a moment later; his mirth rumbling down her back and doing very funny things to her insides.

She has to clear her throat to regain her voice. “A-and don’t I matter? I’m, uh, pretty spooked too.” As a matter of fact, she’s very much the opposite of it, but hell will rain upon them before she shows that to the already insufferable Hideyoshi.

His smirk widens, amused to the core, and there’s a certain glint in that alluring eye of his that seems to catch up with something she doesn’t. “Hmm, come to think of it, you do look a little spooked…” Whatever his odd reasoning is, it doesn’t seem to stop him from urging his horse forward with a snap on the reins, startling Mai.

“Masamune…” Hideyoshi growls in warning, but doesn’t seem to be following them right away. And thank the gods for that! “Just… don’t lose her.”

“Hah, as if!” The horse quickly breaks into a run after a second snap of the reins, “Hold on tight, Mai.” She knows she should be protesting or insisting to some form to be put down, but with the mention of her name coming from Masamune, her brain just ends up lost for any words whatsoever.

The truth is, nothing in the world could have possibly prepared her for Masamune’s insanely wild horse riding, prompting Mai to cling tightly to his armor for dear life. Her first choked cries only seem to make him spur his horse faster, his laughter resonating all around them, almost inviting her to join in the gleeful moment.

“That’s okay, you won’t fall off,” As amusing as he may find the situation—judging by the mirth in his voice—Mai can hardly share his excitement as of then, too stressed for her own good and barely able to pry her fingers off his shoulder out of mere politeness. Luckily he doesn’t complain about how she’s been practically clutching him. “I think we’ve lost Hideyoshi as well. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

That comment prompts her curiosity, sheepishly glancing past Masamune’s shoulder, but barely peeking out. “Oh, thank heavens, he is…” She sighs in sheer relief, a lot of her tension thankfully slipping away, if unconsciously.

So he noticed that, huh. That realization makes Mai grow several degrees more comfortable around him, at least for the further moment. Besides, Masamune Date may at first seem quite cocky and a massive flirt—not to mention more than aware of his ravishingly handsome looks, but she wouldn’t blame him for using that to his advantage. Either way, and for all intents and purposes, he definitely he doesn’t strike her as mean or wicked like some other warlords she’s met so far.

Predicting it’s so far looking up to being a long ride, Mai opts out for giving him a vote of confidence, relaxing some more in his arms and tiredly resting her head in the crook of his neck, where he’s not as heavily armored. For reasons beyond her, Masamune keeps chuckling low, apparently pleased with himself.

“So, let me guess,” His constant amusement slowly gets into her, and Mai can’t bring herself to complain about it, “Are you just hired to steal away damsels in distress for Nobunaga or is it you didn’t have anything better to do?”

There’s no doubt of it right then—he’s definitely pleased with himself. “I’d say it’s one of the best perks of the job, yeah,” He says cockily, his air of self-assurance nearly dripping out of him, the warmth of his voice all the more helpful for her to relax. “However, that purring doesn’t really sound like one from someone in distress…”

Mai snorts, “Don’t tease me. I’m just tired, alright,” She’s willing to admit, giving up for any possible ideas of escaping his grasp and wiggling a little for better accommodation. If it’s going to be as long of a ride as it looks like, then she may as well get somewhat comfortable. “I’m just coming along from certainly the worst night of my life, and considering where you’re taking me, seems this nightmare isn’t looking forward to ending anytime soon…”

“Well, if you ask me, I think it’s going to be really fun instead,” His snickering briefly tickles her ear, the arm snaked around her waist pulling her closer to his chest. Mai just relishes in his warmth, too exhausted to put up a fight. “But get some sleep now if you’re truly tired. It is a long ride, after all…”

“And risk myself falling off your horse? Thanks, but no thanks,” Although even when she says that, Mai can also hear her own voice growing heavy and groggy.

“Aaw, how could I possibly let that happen? You wound me, kitten,” Brushing some locks of hair away from her face, Masamune leans down and closer, hot breath fanning her ear, “Luckily for you, I don’t mind some scratches…”

Mai giggles and squirms a little, both for the tickling sensation and the ever so alluring tone of his voice. She can’t really tell, but if Masamune’s main goal was to get her all putty in his arms, then she hopes he’d consider that a success already.

And so, she finally complies, drawing a long sigh before dropping her eyes closed as they ride on full speed ahead through the night, with only the wind catching up with them.

[milesgotomoon]

Portugal- An Amazing Place to Visit

TRAVEL PORTUGAL - AMAZING BEAUTY

The western portion of this Iberian Peninsula, the region sheltered from the Atlantic Ocean could be your conventional state of Portugal. Sometime past the land amongst the northern portion of Portugal and Spain weren't too well defined and also the cultural facets had been rather much similar. But the Castorena civilization manufactured its very first appearance together with grass-thatched huts at a circular formation at the north and also subsequently the Romans took more than dividing the 2 lands. In the start of the fifth century, Braga has appointed funds of Portugal, afterward it had been ruined from the Visigods and as most of the Iberian Peninsula, the Arabs moved in, leaving a huge impact, notably their own structure, civilization and turned out of governing.

But this really is old, and though it's intriguing to understand when seeing Portugal ( http://www.lisbon-and-portugal.com/travel/portugal.html

)and its own capital town Lisbon, plenty of men and women want precise leisure and interesting sites to go together with historic kinds.

Lisbon, Portugal's happy richesse

At Lisbon, exactly where in fact the large part of the vacationer launches their own trip once arrived at the airport, then you'll find respective trips to get throughout the metropolis. You can find museums of a variety of types: - Museum performs Chiado that will be positioned in a few of one of the absolute most enchanting locations of Lisbon. The following you may discover French and Portuguese Artwork. It's available on Tuesdays from two pm to 6 pm and the different days other than Mondays from 10 a.m. to 6 pm - Science Museum that can be situated in the principal entry to this Science college has as its chief goal to become instruction with more than sixty interactive topics making use of physics, chemistry, and maths. It's available from Monday to Friday out of 10 a.m. till 1 rebound and from two to 5 and also maybe not available on Sundays. - Museum performs Carme that's put in within the ruins of this monastery and it has a superb archaeological group from several distinct phases. - National Museum of Historical Art That's located at the region Named Belem Around the lake at the Heart of onde Alvor. It's by far the most essential tradition in Portugal with sixty-five halls carrying a lot of Portuguese painters and sculptors and most of the mixes which the Portuguese manufactured as it'd its colonies. Acutely intriguing and does take a while to visit.

The Health and Fitness Center Pavilion Carlos Lopez is superbly decorated to the exterior together with all tiles. And also the Estufa Fria ( greenhouse) at which you are able to discover an assortment of crops from throughout the globe that was attracted to Lisbon and also has been accommodated into the environment shift. - Tapada da Ajuda can be really a 200-acre park formerly utilized for looking, however, currently, you will find respective tasks including a kids' playground, car park along with also an Astronomy Observatory. - Botanical Gardens that has been set in 1873 and believed one among the finest in every Europe. You can find in excess of 2,500 species for example banana and palm trees. Being it is found in a mountain, different degree joined by ways leaves its elegance more boosting and more beautiful to its attention to watch. It's available in winter months out of 9 a.m. to 6 pm and at summer from 9 a.m. to 2 pm and evenings out from 10 a.m. to 2 pm

Portugal's fine accommodation

Lisbon desires many times to see it therefore if you might have desire any thoughts about lodges, right here you can go. The 4 Seasons-Ritz could be your shirt's beautiful gardens along with a great perspective of Eduard VII Park. Or possibly Carlton Palace Resort that's just a 19th-century palace together with gardens that are tropical. Decreasing only a very little the comfortable Principe using a scenic look at the restaurant along with decent service along with caliber. Around the crowded Ave. Liberdade at a modest neo-classical Moorish palace named Veneza, fine pensions such as Janelas Verdes that are A17 room revived older property in the 18th c. close to the Museum of Historical Art and also for people simply needing to place down their heads, some well-held campings or childhood hostels.

However, as soon as you're in Portugal you need to simply take the whole edge and watch locations like Sintra, Porto, Albufeira from the Algarve location and also an added exclusive get from Madeira or the Azores Islands. It truly is really all amazing.

LISBON

Following this improving adventure, launch off from Lisbon, to sight-see its neighboring cities. You struck the River Duero and also the town of Porto or occasionally Named Oporto. This zone and also the Mino River Valley would be definitely the absolute most fertile shore in which in fact the renown Oporto wine is developed. From spring up before autumn, whenever the blossoms are accumulated, the scene is similar to a yarn painting achieved from most of the colors of green conceivable. No matter the elements could possibly beat that right time of one's trip, a couple trips to your wine cellars having an example flavor of their absolute most distinguishing wines is nicely ventilated. And even in the event that you're lucky enough to get a trip to the Azores Islands ( http://www.lisbon-and-portugal.com/azores/azores-islands.html ) or into Madeira, do exactly the exact same and take to their yummy wine. By the sixteenth century, sailors experienced utilized such islands like a resting put in the very long journeys. In the stay, they needless to say experienced the neighborhood wine, even nearly lately squeezed. Therefore once they set sail, then they filled up using wine however realized the wine needed an improved flavor following being throughout warmer weather conditions and also this heating system has added substantially into the complete complicated course of action in generating that which is named wine.

As an alternative to simply monuments you could view that the fantastic glass of wine and also Fado tunes are able to get your visitors into Lisbon an unforgettable 1.

Plus you could inquire, just how can we understand just where to really go to follow how-to Fado? Back in Lisbon, you can find a significant great deal of locations. Proceed towards the tourism area and receive yourself a fantastic road map of Lisbon. Subsequently begin with your house of Fado and Guitar, sort of mini-museum, which means you may read through the real history and also develop in touch it to get the very first moment. It's present in a few of one of the absolute most ordinary areas referred to as Alfama. In Alfama, even as long as you only ramble about the roads after dinner, then the noise will probably accomplish your ears with no having to really go looking foot off it. And sometimes better still, take a look at your house wherever Amalia Rodrigues dwelt and find dresses and jewelry. Or go towards the neighbor-hood da Mouraria, outdated Moorish region of Lisbon along with the horn of Severa, '' the very first legendary Fado singer. And until you proceed holiday in different elements of Portugal such as Porto, Fatima, Faro or even Albufeira, enter a record store and revel in searching for your most recent Fado singer like Camane or even Misia.

Fado, that means fate, is imagined to have originated out of your nostalgic ballads sung long journeys or by your Lundum music of their black brothers out of Brazil. It absolutely was normally sung in brothels or even maybe not too recommendable bars due to the fact its legends spoke about interior prohibited passions. However, as a result of Amalia Rodrigues,'' who is in relation to this kind of famous singers such as Ella Fitzgerald or even Edith Piaf, the Fado has come to be globally famous.

Uncover Lisbon's Coronary Heart - Fado

Amalia utilized poems against the maximum Portuguese artists, beginning your anthology of ancient new music up right now, sporting the classic black and dress shawl so as to bring the finishing touch. Even the Fado, to begin with, followed with the guitar and also from the dozen series lute and some times from the saxophone, can be an increasingly intense noise using this much atmosphere of it. Who'd shun the ability to devote evening lit by candlelight, soaking history up by new music?

Lisbon, Portugal, and its particular history was written around on numerous a lot of webpages, its own temples are clarified in lots of diverse manners so it grants you the experience that point never passed, but maybe not just due to the fact its structure was retained undamaged despite the fact that it had been horribly hit by means of an earthquake in 1755, but additionally as individuals themselves are still affected person and maybe not at a rush.

On traveling right into the airport terminal and acquiring professionally set up on your lodge, take your uncomplicated readable map and start in the Plaza perform Comercio, in the River Tagus. From that point, you certainly are able to go to the drinking water and also the vent into the town to go to the bucolic church and also the real history launching before the eyes. Therefore today it's all about time that someone acquired inquisitive wisdom seekers an interested perspective of Lisbon.

Anytime you go, you're surrounded by tunes. From the roads you may listen to the new music out of the birds, even if buying piped in music communicates you personally, thus just why don't you look in the tunes that are therefore standard of Portugal and also specifically, Lisbon using all the Fado.

Portugal can be an exotic place full of unique temples, also a rich history and culture. It truly is quite a property worth seeing along with undergoing the first year. Founded in the western border of the Iberian Peninsula, Portugal sticks apart one of its own neighbors as among the earliest yet most conservative and traditional Western cultures. Visitors may look at 22,000-year-old Paleolithic artwork over the stone faces of Vale perform Côa, and also the individual occupation of the location dates 500,000 decades ago over time! The Celts settled the following approximately 750 B.C. and so were followed closely by Romans, Visigoths, and Greeks and others. Even the Moors appreciated their notorious job in the 8th to the 13th Century and abandoned their civilization along with elaborate, white-washed buildings within an eclectic touch over the Iberian Peninsula.

Nowadays, Portugal's homogenous civilization and devotion into the convention is primarily thanks to Salazar's patriotic rule throughout the mid-1900s. As a consequence, people may delight in an even more reluctantly true remain in Portugal than every European state.

The north-south axis of southern Portugal results in parts of lively terrain and special specialties. The favorite Douro Valley stretches one hundred twenty-five kilometers across a twisting river and it is well-known for its series of vent vineyards in its own edges. Cruises are currently offered over the whole size of this Valley, from Porto. The hotel city of Lagos from the southern Algarve location brings sun-seekers and heritage fans alike. Get ready to get swept off with this hidden stone surrounded by 15th-century partitions.

Traveling Portugal at the Atlantic

2 collections of islands outside the Atlantic shoreline belong into Portugal and also are an ideal and tranquil getaway out of the southern, supplying plenty of history each of their personal and also a glimpse in the spot's pure splendor. Monasteries, cathedrals, temples and destroys dating back to the 15 th Century, when Portuguese navigators struck the outcropping, are scattered on the seas. On the South subtropical weather of Madeira Island as well as also the neighboring volcanic archipelago can be really a bastion to get adventure-seekers, hotel comforts, Madeira wine along with un-touched 15th-century architecture status radically on beachfront shore. Both secluded retreats can easily be reachable from leading airports around southern Portugal.

Recommendations into this Savvy Traveler

Virtually most Portugal performs on the Siesta period plus 97 percent of the nation is Catholic, thus also impacting commercial hrs and holiday vacations. Many outlets, pharmacies, and banks have been closed between 1pm and 3pm (certainly, also in big towns ). Make exclusive remember that museums too close at the exact middle of your daytime between 12:30pm and 2pm. Every little thing anyhow museums shuts by 1pm on Saturdays, also aim simply eating and resting Sundays if nothing else really is available. To organize your journey sensibly, assess the hours of performance of points of interest you want to determine before organizing your excursion or reserving your space!

Finally, take note of when a travel taxi. Fare is metered inside of urban constraints, but as soon as you go away the bounds, you are going to end up charged from the kilometer as well as this buying price tag on the motorist's return day at the kick-off place. After choosing a cab after midnight, then pay back the purchase price with all the drivers prior to getting back in the vehicle, especially in the event that you have already been dwelling in Port!

For additional info on go to Portugal as well as different locations in Europe, and low-cost cruises to Portugal, see www.cfares.com.

[triedmybestyouknow]

This is my official “done with it” sendoff letter.

This is the last thing I ever want to write to you, whether or not you ever see/hear about it.

Mary,

I am sitting here, looking into my phone. Typically, I know exactly what to type here, am totally sure of exactly what I need to get off of my chest so that I can feel like I’ve said my peace. Usually, I have all four rhetorical cylinders engaged. I’m full throttle. Usually I’m all in.

These days, though, as I become more open about my private feelings and become more publicly transparent. I feel a kind of reactive internal backlash against speaking fully my mind and my heart. I have become painfully aware that the emotion of a day or a week or a month (or a minute) may not be ultimately representative of me or how I’m really feeling. My recently espoused confessionalist-style public persona has been an experiment in social bravery and a concerted effort to weed out the people in my life who aren’t doing due diligence as my purported friends. This has been working very well, but that’s not necessarily a happy development. I recognize that sometimes this can even give me the appearance of— well— not being self-aware, and maybe the idea of such social self-immolation seems excessive and necessarily the product of poor judgment to those at the periphery of my life. One way or another, I have to face the fact that I wake up every single day with myself and only myself. I have to accept that these are my thoughts, my feelings and that often, verblizing them can feel very much like stripping down naked in front of a crowd. Holding steadfast in my resolve to demonstratively love the emotional form within myself by making no endeavor to mask it has been a means of tempering my high self-monitoring in the interest of developing relationships in which I feel as though I have real emotional breathing room, where I can be what I see to be my authentic self, so that maybe (just maybe) I can learn to accept and love even the parts of me I think of as impurities.

Wow, that was a long explanation for that.

I am sitting here, still staring at my phone. I am trying to think of how I would want to address you if I knew it was the last time, how I would want to talk to you if I was sure I never would again.

I think I would want to be gentle, despite all my justified anger at you.

No amount of talking will ever properly outline our relationship, its impact upon me, or the damage it ultimately did to me (and why). No amount of talking can create an adequate facsimile of my feelings inside anyone else, and I’m not even 100% sure what they really are.

The ugly thing out of the way first, though. I do not like who you currently are at all. But I think explaining that would be redundant. You have a working memory and a conscience, should you feel motivated to use them. It serves little purpose to wave the things about yourself that you hide from in your face so that you can better resent and deride me. I’ll refrain. But the point must be made: the fact that there is no longer any home here in my life or heart for the current you needs to be communicated, gotten out of the way, before I can keep writing. I want nothing to do with you anymore. Nothing at all.

Okay.

Did that now.

And again I’m sitting here, looking at my phone. Eight years of memories are passing through me. What could I say that could even approach sufficient? I don’t know. I feel like there’s absolutely no way to fit such a seminal, foundational, substantial chunk of my life and emotional development into one letter. I am diminished in the face of such a monumental task. So often it feels like the right thing to say is hanging in the air just above my head. But I can’t seem to catch it.

Rather than swinging with open palms at the air, then, let me instead tell you about me seven months ago editing and cutting hours and hours of footage on my computer. I had decided to make a movie. You know what happens when I get something in my head. It was intended to be an inquiry on love, on why we do it even though it essentially guarantees our eventual misery when we are severed from the object of our love.

I ran around the city, filming location after significant location: my basement, RPL, the stairwell at edgebrook where we first kissed. I endlessly drank coffee and kickstarts. My eyes were chronically red. I slept poor. I ate in huge caloric bursts followed by long fasts. I wrote down ideas for my narration and execution of shots with an intense, passionate fervor. I was creating something dynamic, something compelling. I was creating the largest love letter I’ve ever seen or heard of. I captured old footage of my family from a vhs player, did many interviews. I thought only of making something to externalize my love, to further align myself with the role I had played since before I met you: the hopeless romantic, the soldier of passion, the last bastion of beauty in a barren landscape of what I saw as cynicism touting itself as pragmatism. I was nearly halfway done with a full feature-length film created solely with my cracked up iPhone seven with the dubious battery and a tiny Samsung microphone for narrative purposes only. I resuscitated my very first flip phone and pulled up old footage and messages from you. I wanted to be the miracle worker I had always been, the ace, the impossibly deniable force, the magic boy who could always and had always won you over with his unbelievable dedication to whatever it was he believed in, my legs shaking as I insisted on getting up off the canvas floor of the boxing ring one more time to prove to the world, through sheer grit, that love wins, that one voice can drown out a fucking hurricane if it tries hard enough.

You know what I’ve been thinking about a lot? That phrase “when does a collection of sticks turn into a pile?”

I don’t know when. And I don’t know when this romantic interplay of you telling me no and me just believing a little harder to endear you to me a little further turned into you exploiting my love and using me for momentary sexual satisfaction or comfort at an emotional expense to me so deep that I was never able to talk about it... But I said this letter wouldn’t be about that...

I’m so used to knowing: knowing what to say, knowing things other people don’t, knowing what’s right, knowing how to make something right. I think I always knew that I would eventually be at capacity, but looking back my capacity was so large. I forgave you so many times over in my heart. And that’s because, wow, did we ever have a story. All those years are a blur to me these days, with so many special and unique highlights. You were the first piece of what I can only accurately describe as “bliss” I encountered in my life. The limerence and the explosions of discovery of oneself within another, those moments were potent and poignant. I still have such a clear memory of me laughing at myself in the mirror feeling young and attractive and loved as I waited excitedly for you to come over for the very first time. That was my very first significant life victory and it stood to me as proof that my modality of living was the right one. Loving hard and working hard and believing hard and manifesting my reality every single day was going to be the mechanism by which I would enrich my whole life. In so many ways, our love made me, Mary. It helped me form my identity. You kept refueling the tank, kept showing me that love was about dedication and you kept filling my life with things to be happy about. I really believed that the feelings I felt about you were you. For whatever reason, it took a few romantic encounters for me to fall in love and my heart landed so hard on you. Everything about you was just another reason to be in love, even the way you moved could stir within me such an outpouring of attraction and appreciation. This revelatory feeling sustained me for years. Doing drugs had made me reimagine my view of the world, but romantic congress with you made me reimagine myself, my capacity to feel something, suddenly there was music inside me everywhere, fireworks exploding within me. I externalized all this energy and that was my art. Even pieces that had nothing to do with you were fueled by what you had given me, be it motivation to get you or the joie de vivre having you created for me.

Again, I could go into a lengthy anamesis of all the different significant moments between us, but you know them. I am only talking about you, the force, you, the space in my life and mind. You were oxygen, you were gasoline, Mary. It is so strange to me, then, that the coda of our relationship was marked by behaviors that some might go so far as to color emotionally abusive.

I am sitting here, looking into my phone.

I am sitting here, staring into your face.

And in it I see myself.

I see myself discovering that the world could be meaningful and exciting beyond the expectations that had been propped up for me by my parents and teachers. I see myself figuring out that sometimes emotions are physical feelings. I see my preserverance. I see my idealism. I see my capacity to experience joy. I see myself here on this couch wondering if I could have done a better job, wondering if it’s okay to allow my fatigue with writing this letter to take over now, if it’s okay to close this chapter on these words knowing full well nothing would really feel sufficient, and just like when I had the realization I had while working on my film, deciding to no longer push myself because sometimes a person is no longer worthy of your effort. I see me in you. I see myself growing into you, through you, and, now, out of you.

In the letter to me that you wrote at Kairos, your eighteen-year-old fingers actually scrawled out the words: “the best days of my life are the days I believe you love me as much as I love you.” But, Mary, that’s never been true. The truth is, I loved you so much more than you could ever love anyone, at least as you are. For everything you gave me: the meaning, the drive, the focus, the laughter, the happiness, the depth of feeling, and of course the love, whether it was illusory or not, whether a contrivance or not, I thank you sincerely and wholeheartedly. Thank you for the support and the insight throughout those years, too. Thank you for everything you chose to share with me. Thank you for entwining your life with mine for such a long time.

Go be a better person. I’m gonna try, too. I don’t know why we love, for the record. I just know I couldn’t avoid it.

I knew I’d feel like this wasn’t enough,

but it’s not worth it to me anymore.

Goodbye, Mary.

[prasanttricolour]

The Konark or Konarak Sun temple is devoted to the Hindu solar god Surya, and, conceived as a massive stone the chariot with 12 wheels, it is the most well-known of the few solar temples constructed in India. It is positioned about 35 km northeast of the metropolis of Puri on the shoreline in the kingdom of Odisha (earlier Odisha ). It used to be constructed c. 1250 CE by way of King Narasimhadeva I (r. 1238-1264 CE) of the Eastern Ganga dynasty (8th century CE - fifteenth century CE).  The temple in its existing country was once declared with the aid of UNESCO a World Heritage Site in 1984 CE. Although many parts are now in ruins, what stays of the temple complicated continues to draw no longer solely travelers however additionally Hindu pilgrims.  Konarak stands as a basic instance of Hindu temple architecture, whole with a massive structure, sculptures and paintings on myriad theme Eastern Ganga Dynasty & Odisha Temple Architecture. The Eastern Gangas installed their kingdom in the Kalinga location in jap India (present-day Odisha state) at “the commencing of the eighth century CE” (Tripathi, 368), although their fortunes rose from the eleventh century CE onwards.  The biggest king of this dynasty used to be Anantavarman Chodaganga (1077 - 1147 CE), who ruled for about 70 years.  He was once no longer solely a ambitious warrior however additionally a buyer of arts, and significantly favoured temple building. The notable temple of the god Jagannatha at Puri, begun via him, 'stands as a top notch monument to the inventive vigour and prosperity of Odisha at some stage in his reign' (Majumdar, 377).  His successors persisted the tradition, with the most super being Narasimhadeva I who no longer solely done the building of the Jagannatha temple however additionally the temple at Konarak. The Architecture at Konarak The phrase 'Konark' is an aggregate of two Sanskrit phrases kona (corner or angle) and arka (the sun). It as a result implies that the important deity used to be the solar god, and the temple was once constructed in an angular format. The temple follows the Kalinga or Odisha fashion of architecture, which is a subset of the nagara fashion of Hindu temple architecture.  The Odisha fashion is believed to show off the nagara fashion in all its purity. The nagara was once amongst the three patterns of Hindu temple structure in India and prevailed in northern India, whilst in the south, the dravida fashion predominated and in central and jap India, it used to be the vesara style.  These patterns can be distinctive by using how points such as floor format and elevation had been represented visually. The nagara fashion is characterized by way of a rectangular floor plan, containing a sanctuary and meeting corridor (mandapa). In phrases of elevation, there is a large curvilinear tower (shikhara), inclining inwards and capped.  Despite the reality that Odisha lies in the japanese region, the nagara fashion used to be adopted. This may want to be due to the reality that considering the fact that King Anantavarman’s domains blanketed many areas in northern India as well, the fashion ordinary there decisively impacted the architectural plans of the temples that have been about to be constructed in Odisha by using the king.  Once adopted, the identical subculture used to be endured with the aid of his successors too, and with time, many additions have been made. The primary traits of the Odishan fashion are especially two: the deul or the sanctum housing the deity blanketed via a shikhara and the Jaganmohan or the meeting hall.  The latter has a pyramidal roof constructed up by way of a secession of receding systems recognised as pidhas. Both buildings are squares internally and use a frequent platform. The exterior is variegated into projections regarded in this fashion as rathas or pagas which create results of mild and shade.  Many temples constructed in this fashion exhibits their personal extraordinary variations, and Konarak is no exception. The fashion right here follows the structure of the Lingaraja temple constructed round 1100 CE in the present-day metropolis of Bhubaneshwar, the kingdom capital of Odisha, and regarded domestically as the Khakhara style.  In this design, the temple is located inside a massive quadrangular court docket enclosed with the aid of big partitions and with a huge gate in the east.  There are more than one halls committed to a range of things to do like dancing, serving meals, gatherings, etc., inside this complicated alongside with the sanctum and with lofty towers. Konarak 'excels the Lingaraja in the Aristocracy of its concept and the perfection of its finish.  Grand and wonderful even in its ruin, the Konarak temple represents the success and finality of the Odishan architectural movement' (Publications Division, 21). The Konarak temple, constructed absolutely in stone, is in the structure of a huge chariot with twelve pairs of lavishly-ornamented wheels, drawn through seven richly-caparisoned, galloping horses.  The wheels have been carved in opposition to the aspects of the “chariot”. The thought of this temple in the structure of a chariot has normally to do with Hindu beliefs related to Surya that he is normally determined on a chariot pulled through seven horses.  Thus, the depiction of a chariot continually grew to become section of any inventive advent associated to the solar god in India. The 12 pairs of wheels signify the 12 months of the year. The deul such as the awesome shikhara has been misplaced with time. Today, solely the jaganamohana and the pillared bhoga mandapa (refectory hall), additionally acknowledged as the nata mandapa (dancing hall) owing to the severa sculptures of dancers and musicians on its partitions and pillars, in front, remain. Legend Konarak is noted in historical Hindu texts having mythological magnitude like the Puranas. Konaditya (Konarak) used to be believed to be the most sacred location for the worship of Surya in the complete Odisha region.  In gratitude for recuperation his pores and skin ailment, Samba, one of the god Krishna’s many sons, erected a temple in the honour of Surya.  He even introduced some Magi (sun-worshippers) from Persia, as the nearby Brahmanas (the priestly type amongst the Hindus) refused to worship Surya’s image.  This story used to be related with a solar temple in north-western India, however used to be shifted to Konarak in order 'to beautify the sanctity of the new centre via making it the website of Samba’s unique temple' (Mitra, 10). Konarak, over time, had emerged as a necessary web page for solar worship and hence, a mythological history was once viewed quintessential to make bigger its significance for devotees. A Royal Dream The specific cause for the construction of the temple by using Narasimhadeva is no longer known. Historians have surmised that the king did so both to categorical his gratitude for a wish-fulfilment or to commemorate a conquest.  Also, he should have carried out it truely to exhibit his devotion to Surya, however no longer except including in his personal view of existence as considered from a king’s perspective.  This is verified via the sculptures depicting royal activities, together with hunts, processions and army scenes, which 'emphasizes the truth that the Sun Temple is the realisation of the stunning dream of an bold and mighty king, secular to the core and with an giant zest for life' (Mitra, 27).  Even in the sanctuary, the holiest spot in any Hindu temple, sculptures in niches depict secular themes; 'the issues of the niches interior the pavilions, with a single exception the place a preacher-like parent is considered seated in meditation, centre on the existence of a king in the palace.  Thus, in one niche, an armed king is viewed fondly related to his reflection in a mirror' (Mitra, 56). Construction Three types of stone had been used in the temple’s development - chlorite, laterite and khondalite. Khondalite (though of negative quality) was once used all through the monument whilst chlorite used to be constrained to doorframes and to a few sculptures, whilst laterite used to be used in the foundation, the (invisible) core of the platform and in the staircases.  None of these stones used to be on hand close to the website and so cloth was once delivered lengthy distances. The stone blocks had been lifted maybe with the aid of the potential of pulleys, timber wheels or rollers and then set into place.  The becoming and ending had been accomplished so easily that the joints ought to now not be seen. Sculptures During Narasimhadeva’s reign, Eastern Ganga artwork reached its zenith. At Konarak, therefore, the sculptures show these heights; 'Nowhere is this technology of Kalinga sculpture higher represented than in the colossal and miniature carvings which beautify the jaganamohana of the stone temple at Konarak' (Publications Division, 77).  Every bit of area on hand has been included by using the sculptors and with what seems as an limitless range of themes, with figures indulging in music and dance and in things to do associated to kama (Sanskrit: “desires and sensual enjoyment”).  There are additionally depictions of legendary beings, birds and animals, except floral and geometrical motifs. The designs had been carved after the stones had been set into place. Panels symbolize King Narasimhadeva in quite a number roles - as a student reviewing literary works being presented to him with the aid of poets, as playing himself on a swing in his palace, as a incredible archer, and as a deeply non secular devotee.  These are made from red and inexperienced khondalite (these panels can additionally be seen at the National Museum, New Delhi).  These depictions dominate to such an extent that it seems that 'the sculptors have been so busy highlighting the myriad sides of royal lifestyles that they had very little scope to document the day by day existence of the frequent man' (Mitra, 27). A giant idol of Surya in the southern area of interest of the sanctuary is a attribute sculpture of this temple. It is additionally one of the very few sculptures in India which exhibit a god sporting boots.  This can be attributed to Central Asian have an effect on on Indian art, owing to the reign of Scythian-origin dynasties of historical India. The god is depicted standing on his chariot drawn with the aid of seven horses.  The whole sculpture stands on a chlorite pedestal and is made from a single piece. It is 3.38 metres high, 1.8 metres large and seventy-one cm thick. The solar god is viewed carrying a brief decrease garment (antariya) in the drawer fashion (one stop of the garment drawn between the legs and tucked in the waist at the back) and many ornaments.  These encompass a girdle at the waist, a necklace of 5 beaded strings with a central clasp, armlets, ear-rings and a crown. These have been carved with such intricacy that every bead and motif is virtually visible.  The hair is worn in a bun on the crown of the head. A halo is considered round the head, with tongues of flames protruding outwards.  He holds lotus stalks in each his arms and is surrounded via a number of attendant figures, which includes celestial dancers and the king presenting obeisance alongside with his household priest. Pairs of animals had been additionally made to protect the three staircases of the porch in extraordinary directions, and are��viewed as masterpieces of the sculptural artwork of the Odisha region.  These consist of two rampant lions standing on crouching elephants in the east, gaily embellished and harnessed elephants to the north and two fantastically caparisoned warhorses to the south.  The elephants and horses have on the grounds that been re-installed on new pedestals, solely a few metres far-off from the authentic locations, and now face the porch. The lions-on-elephants now lie to the front of the jap stairs of the bhoga-mandapa.  Though included with plaster, the unique color of these sculptures used to be darkish purple patches of which are nonetheless visible. One of the extant sculptures is of a warrior standing alongside one of the horses. Now headless, he sports activities a scabbard down his back, whilst a quiver full of arrows is considered tied to the saddle.  The horse is considered crushing one parent beneath his hooves, whilst some other lies beneath his body. From Fame to Decay Even in the medieval period, Konarak had end up a well-known temple and references are discovered in literary works. Along with the Jagannatha temple, it served as a landmark for sailors crusing the Bay of Bengal.  The early Europeans traversing this sea referred to the Jagannatha temple as the ‘White Pagoda’ owing to its white plaster (now eliminated after restoration) and Konarak as the ‘Black Pagoda’. The motives for the cave in of the deul and the shikhara are now not as but known. It is believed that it passed off due to 'the subsidence of the foundation, whilst others communicate of an earthquake or lightning; but others doubt if the temple used to be ever completed' (Mitra, 12).  The major trust is that the temple crumbled gradually, as the use of negative pleasant khondalite led to the temple’s eventual decay. Many humans attribute the starting of this system to the assault through Islamic invaders. The photograph of the presiding deity or Surya has additionally in no way been located and as a result it is now not recognized as to what shape, structure or dimension it at first was.  The hypothesis surrounding it once more offers voice to many beliefs, which includes its destruction or elimination to the Jagannatha temple. The loss of the deity prompted the temple to be neglected, in the end inflicting its decay. Discovery & Restoration James Fergusson (1808-1836 CE), the stated Scottish historian of British India who performed a key function in rediscovering historic Indian antiquities and architectural sites, visited Konarak in 1837 CE and organized a drawing.  He estimated the peak of the element nevertheless standing as being between 42.67 and 45.72 metres. By 1868 CE, the website online had been decreased to a mass of stones included through timber right here and there.  Fergusson wrote that a nearby raja (king) had eliminated some sculptures to enhance a temple he used to be constructing in his personal fort, and that the temple itself was once one way or the other saved from being used in constructing a lighthouse. Besides the raja, the 'locals had been additionally no longer inactive in disposing of the fallen stones and taking out the iron cramps and dowels' (Mitra, 14). Conservation things to do picked up velocity from 1900 CE onwards after Lt. Governor John Woodburn 'initiated the launch of a well-planned marketing campaign to shop the temple at any fee by way of adopting appropriate measures' (Mitra, 33).  Since 1939, CE the Archaeological Survey of India has been conserving and retaining the site. Legacy At Konarak, 'the pleasure of a princely existence on earth and expression of the luxurious and grandeur prevailing in the royal surroundings are writ massive everywhere' (Mitra, 27).  Hence, the temple seems greater as the dream of a king who desired his identity and his secular deeds immortalized, however, who additionally desired to show himself a devotee, like all different Indian kings.  The artisans, whilst showcasing this thing primarily, additionally depicted the spiritual thing well. No doubt, the Konarak temple even in its ruined kingdom stands majestically and bears witness to the architectural and inventive competencies of the length as they stood in medieval Odisha and India in general.  The constructing method used to be a continuation of centuries of temple structure begun from the Gupta length (3rd century CE to sixth century CE).  The college students of art, architecture, records and archaeology can discover Konarak a knowledge-rich place. Today, this website is no longer solely famous with travelers and pilgrims, however additionally serves as a venue for cultural festivals, classical Indian dance performances, etc.  Thus, even nowadays the Sun Temple continues to play its function in retaining and furthering India’s huge cultural heritage. For More Details, please  visit  - https://www.odishahospitality.com /   http://www.elicitodisha.com/  https:// odishahospitality.blogspot.com

http://unmaskodisha.blogspot.com/2020/05/konark-sun-temple.html

[recentanimenews]

Creative Spotlight: Ryutaro Nakamura

Creative spotlights are easily digestible overviews of a director or animator’s body of work, style, and vision. My goal for these articles is to highlight some of the exceptional and possibly lesser-known creative voices in anime. I’m hoping these write-ups encourage people to explore more of what anime has to offer.

    The spotlight for this week will be on Ryutaro Nakamura, the late director of the cult classic, Serial Experiments Lain.

  Ryutaro Nakamura was a key figure in anime who gave us many imaginative and insightful shows all the way until his untimely passing in 2013. Though he will always be remembered for his monumental cyberpunk work, Serial Experiments Lain, his portfolio was that of a brilliant creator; an individual who challenged the animated medium with his masterful visuals and engrossing narratives. He was a director who was never complacent with one style of presentation, which is the best way to summarize the direction of his expansive career.

  Despite being known for denser, philosophical works like the aforementioned Lain and Kino’s Journey, many of Nakamura’s earliest productions were colorful children’s fantasies. Starting his career as a Madhouse animator, he worked under the great Osamu Dezaki doing in-betweens and key animation. It wasn’t long before Dezaki recognized his talent for using animation to conceptualize and express more abstract ideas. With one of anime’s pioneers singing his praises, this was already a sign that Nakamura held great creative potential.

  Around the mid-80s, Nakamura made the switch from animating to directing. He went freelance for a period of time before joining Triangle Staff, a studio founded by ex-Madhouse staff. There, he made his mark on the industry by directing children’s anime, a couple of which were adaptations of writer-poet Kenji Miyazawa’s stories. Coincidence or not, Nakamura was an ideal fit for adapting Miyazawa’s literature into accessible pieces of animation.

    While many modern anime fans know all too well the struggle of adapting light or visual novels, Nakamura had no difficulty transitioning Miyazawa’s literature into visually poignant animation. With his roots as an animator, and a student of Dezaki’s style of limited-animation, he graced the screen with adaptations of Miyazawa’s The Twin Stars and The Life of Budori Gusko. Through his commanding use of visuals and color, The Twin Stars was a short 30-minute film driven almost entirely by its visceral strength. At its core, a simple tale carrying Miyazawa’s key messages of moral obligation, the film was a showcase of Nakamura’s ability to tell a story using stylized character designs and long takes accompanied by the beautiful music of Yoshihiro Kanno.

  During the late-90s, Nakamura’s career shifted when producer Yasuyuki Ueda approached him with the scenario for Serial Experiments Lain as well as Yoshitoshi ABe’s concept artwork and Takhiro Kishida’s character designs. Intended to be a multimedia project spanning TV anime, video game, and CD, Lain was an ambitious science fiction work born out of the turn of the millennium. Created during a time period where the internet was starting to become more widespread, Lain encapsulated a lot of the fear and uncertainty surrounding the prospective technology.

  Although there’s a myriad of interpretations about what Serial Experiments Lain is truly about, Nakamura has stated before in an interview that he feels the story of Lain is about examining the relationships between the self and the world. From his view, he wanted Lain to be a show that would resonate with youth audiences, exploring the heroine Lain’s disconnect with the real world and how she found her identity by retreating into the virtual world of “The Wired.”

    There’s no shortage of anime these days with plotlines about ordinary protagonists being drawn into video game or fantasy worlds. However, what elevates Serial Experiments Lain above that ilk is Nakamura’s approach to expression. There are many moments in the anime which feature long takes without any dialogue. The only sound that can be heard during these recurring scenes is the droning of power cables. Nakamura approached the Lain anime with sound being more important than the script. He wanted to take a more existentialist approach to create an interpersonal work where a young girl solemnly searched for herself amidst the ubiquitous virtual network connecting all human beings.

  Serial Experiments Lain may be a work with some dated digital animation, but its core themes are absolutely timeless. Especially with our lives revolving around the internet, social media, and digital technology, Lain remains as relevant as ever. Nakamura may have taken a darker turn in his career (perhaps due to Chiaki J. Konaka’s influence), but he never abandoned the thoughtfulness behind his own artistic endeavors.

  Post-Lain, Nakamura directed another cult classic anime, Kino’s Journey. Once again displaying his proficiency with transitioning novels to animation, he brought author Keiichi Sigsawa’s grim fable to life through his experimental visual style. Adapted in a non-linear manner, the anime follows the heroine, Kino, and her talking motorcycle companion, Hermes, as they travel through fantastical towns and environments. Many of their encounters are intended to be parables of humanity's vices or flaws that exist within real-life organizational systems. Kino’s Journey is not subtle in the least about its social satire, but the anime is grounded by Nakamura’s directional choices. He poses these exaggerated stories of people’s failures as think-pieces about human nature, likening the anime to a dark fairy tale as opposed to a realistic depiction of humanity.

    Though it’s unfortunate that Ryutaro Nakamura had to leave us so soon when he easily had another decade of brilliance ahead, the legacy that he left behind on anime will not be forgotten. The impact that Serial Experiments Lain had on not just anime, but on our perception of the world as a whole is unsurmountable. Nakamura’s works are a must-watch for anyone who is interested in the history of the medium or more visually-driven anime. 

  Let us know your thoughts about Ryutaro Nakamura and Serial Experiments Lain in the comments below!

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Brandon is a Brand Features Writer for Crunchyroll and also writes anime-related editorials on his blog, Moe-Alternative. Hit him up for a chat on his Twitter at @Don_Don_Kun!

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