#despite how many times ive seen her i just somehow never noticed???

[delightfuldevin]

Traced some official art with my redesigns,,

[devourable]

༄ the mermaids

sfw | tws : thalassophobia, yandere behavior, kidnapping, mildly implied pred/prey dynamics? possibly?

happy mermay! doing this before i round back to my last male yandere, then i'll alternate between the girls and enbies 😌

apologies if the pacing on this is kinda ass,,, ive had no time lately and wanted to get this out so i could write other things <\3 hope y’all like it tho

there had been rumors of strange creatures living in the waters of ilanca reef for years now. from beautiful sirens that could lure you to a watery death, to sea monsters that'll snatch you up and swallow you whole, the speculation was so widespread that many were keen to believe it. because of that, the beach was often desolate with only the warning signs of monstrous sea life littering it.

when you discovered it, however, you had to admit.. despite all the warnings, all the rumors, all of the strange happenings? you honestly didn’t care. you liked having the entire beachfront to yourself! and you personally had seen no monsters. therefore you believed none of it, and went to the beach as you pleased.

that was exactly how the three mermaids that had been stalking you wanted it to be.

it had a calculated effort since the trio had taken notice of you weeks prior. it was any other day for them at first — lyonesse was hunting a bit further off shore, tomila was sunbathing on a half-submerged rock, and kallisto had her eye on land. therefore, it was kallisto who noticed when you came traipsing about, lugging a bag of beach essentials on your back and completely oblivious to their presence.

the moment you had arrived, all three girls dove back into the water with such speed that you didn't even notice them. just another dumb human trespassing on their territory, all on your own, they thought — didn't the others warn you? didn't you see the signs? they were there for a reason!

they were just going to scare you off at first. that's what they did to every human that dared to enter their turf. they'd show themselves, the human would run off and tell anyone who'd listen, and they'd giggle amongst themselves as the poor sop who they had frightened was either completely disregarded as another prankster who had a bit too much sun or caused a hysteria which made a throng of beachgoers flee the dunes for fear of being targeted next.

but when the girls reemerged and their eyes landed on you, unsuspecting of their presence as you set up your things in the shade... for some reason, they all stopped. and they all just stared.

...how did such a nice looking human stumble upon their beach? what were these strange feelings they got just from looking at you? why didn't they wanna chase you away?

all three girls found themselves doting on every aspect of you rather than planning how they’d drive you away. you were just so adorable! they couldn’t help it! your cute face, your little mannerisms, the quirky little things you did when you thought you were alone? it enamored them to you within moments.

tomila was keen to try to meet you off the bat. but every time she made a move to get your attention, lyonesse and kallisto stopped her. humans get scared so easily, they reminded her — if you ran off like the others, they'd risk never seeing you again! they had to avoid that at all costs.

it wasn’t like they could chase you on land… if only you’d come to the water! it was no surprise that their human was smarter than the others…

with you out of their reach for the time being, they started small. every time you came down to their isolated section of the beach, you'd find something new waiting for you. sea shells and shark teeth that'd never normally wash up on the beach, an old watch that still worked somehow, a wallet that was packed with money (completely sodden, but still intact) despite the ID mysteriously missing from it, anything that the girls understood to be of value to humans. it surprised you at first, then baffled you — it was clear it was all being placed there intentionally, but by who? you had no clue, but since no one else came to the reef and therefore was never claimed, it was free for you to take. so you kept returning, and the girls kept giving.

it made them so happy when you'd come down wearing one of the bracelets they left, or spent time trying to pry apart the tiny treasure box they'd filled with sea glass and old coins. you liked their gifts! that meant you'd like them when you'd meet, right? it didn’t matter that other humans were warning you to stop coming around, you didn’t listen to them. it had to be because you liked them so much!

for a time, they were content with just that. you usually came alone, and when anyone else dared to stop by — with or without you — they chased off the newcomers with a new aggression that kept them from coming back. stupid humans, didn’t they know that this beach was for you only now? they weren’t allowed! and with their collective effort, eventually everyone was too frightened to visit the beach entirely.

everyone except you, of course!

and when they were sure that no one else would interrupt the moment they had waited ages for, it was then and only then that they revealed themself to you.

needless to say, you were incredibly surprised the day you came down to the usual spot you'd find your treasures in and, rather than finding a trinket or jewelry, you found yourself grabbed by several pairs of scaley, webbed hands and dragged off the beach, into the water, where the three happily chirped and chattered at you — finally, finally, getting to meet their human treasure! and you had so much bonding to do now that you knew of their existence!

it’d be a while before they let you go again… but it’s okay — they watched you for so long, surely they knew about all the things you liked!

they’d make sure you’d be nice and comfortable during your time with them.

[ifhymona]

٭* Not Too Late *٭

Chapter 4 | chino moreno x reader

chapter 3 ~ chapter 5 | ao3

1.6k words

a/n: !! PLEASE READ !! the chapter is going back to y/n and chino’s argument, in case anyone is confused !

chino’s pov:

she turned around and walked away. that hurt. i stood there for a second thinking to myself. i remembered telling her those things but i also dont. at the time, i was more focused on the fact that she told me to break up with her. my mind kind of blocked out what i said. it hurt even more when a week later she cheated on me. i hated that she was right. that she knew something i didn’t.

when i walked back inside, the guys were all huddled around the door acting like they weren’t listening.

i looked at them and they looked at me. “you heard her!”

“she didn’t mean it though, right?” stephen asked. i stood quiet with my eyes on my feet. “right?” he exclaimed.

“did you guys hear everything?” they all looked at each other and nodded. i sighed. “she meant every word she said.”

chi spoke up. “you should go home chino. we’ll all meet back up in two days and check in, alright?”

i was grateful towards chi. despite my actions, he was still my friend when i needed it.

i nodded and we all packed up at went home.

~

here i am watching star wars for like the millionth time. star wars always helped me feel better when i was in a funk. no matter how many times ive seen it, it will always be my favorite. i even still use a star wars lunch pail anytime we go to a venue in case i get hungry.

but this time, it wasn’t helping me the slightest bit. all i could think of were y/n’s harsh words.

“you’re the most selfish person i know and i want nothing to do with you.” i repeated her words back to myself. “i mean how could she say that? we used to have so much fun together. she aint’t no saint either. what about that one time we all went to the skate park and she didn’t even talk to me. not once. she was only talking to ethan smith. she knew how much i hated ethan too.”

who am i kidding? what i did to y/n was way worse. i just couldn’t stand the fact that she was right. that she basically predicted the future. when i discovered cassandra with another dude, it felt as if my world was crumbling apart. i had lost my girlfriend and my best friend.

i thought i loved cassandra. she was the first girl to ask me out. every guy has a phase where they’re obsessed with their first girlfriend, that’s just how it goes. but after i found her cheating, i slowly grew a resentment towards her. i didn’t understand why i was even with someone like her. but now, i’m neutral about her. that was just a dumb high school relationship. but with y/n it was different.

when i broke up with her, i found myself waiting for y/n’s call for hours hoping she would put everything aside and things would go back to normal. but it never came. i missed y/n more and more. but i couldn’t believe that she had just left so easily. like we didn’t a past together. i didn’t like her like that. i just needed a friend.

after graduation, i stopped seeing y/n less and less. eventually, i started moving on from her. then i got with the band and life has been great. that was until she came back in the picture to be our assistant. when i seen her name in that paper, i didn’t wanna believe it was her. but it was. now i feel like i’m going crazy over her.

i stood up to go smoke a cigarette since star wars wasn’t helping me. i stood on my balcony still trying to erase my thoughts about y/n. but i couldn’t help feeling like an asshole.

my mind kept going back to the memories we used to make. like when we shared a PE class sophomore year and we would always talk and joke and mess around.

or when i snuck into her art class to see her but got kicked out after we started laughing too hard.

or when i would go to the bathroom and would pass her class walking back to mine. i would wave to her through the window and somehow she noticed me each time.

she always had her hair down and it was long and thick but naturally flowy. she would always tuck her hair behind her right ear. i always liked it when she would do that. i don’t even know why i remember that.

i wanted to apologize. but the more i thought about it, the more i realized how much of a bad idea it might be. i missed y/n and i was stupid enough to lose her. what if she really did want nothing to do with me? what if i went to her house and it ends up backfiring on me? what if i apologize and she doesn’t accept it? what if i lose her for good? i needed to give her some space.

~

me and the band were practicing a new song that we had just came up with. but the whole time, i wasn’t feeling it and you could hear it in my voice too.

“okay stop stop stop.” chi shouted. “what is up with you today, man? your voice keeps cracking dude and i miss your little whiny voice.” he said sarcastically. i smiled but didn’t respond.

chi walked my way. “is it really that bad?” he said while holding my shoulders. i nodded.

chi sighed and told everyone, “let’s take 5.”

me and chi sat down on the couch and he asked “is this about y/n?”

“yes. i’ve just been thinking about what she told me and i never felt like this much of an ass before.”

“look man, you need to snap out of it. why don’t you just say sorry?”

“because i’m scared that if i say sorry, she’ll think im lying and never wanna talk to me again.”

chi bursted out laughing. “i love you chino but sometimes you’re such an idiot. if you and y/n have a past and you know that what you’re saying is genuine, then i doubt she’s never gonna wanna see you again. you need to man up and say sorry before it’s too late. plus we still need an assistant and the band has been lacking without her help so you need apologize either way. so go and talk to her right now because we need her.”

chi was right. i’m glad i had someone like chi to keep me in check.

~

after skating for 15 minutes, i had finally arrived at her house.

when i knocked on her front door, her mom had answered.

“is that camillo moreno?? i haven’t seen you in ages! how have you been?”

“hi mrs. l/n. i’ve been good, just got busy with my own life i guess.” i shrugged. “is y/n here?”

“yes but she hasn’t left her room in days so good luck with her.” she sighed.

i didn’t realize how badly i had hurt her. hearing her mom say that made me feel worse. but this wasn’t about me.

i knocked on her door. “leave me alone!” y/n shouted. i walked in anyway.

her room was a mess. there were clothes everywhere but luckily no old food plates.

“jeez this place is a mess.” i teased.

“go away, chino. didn’t i tell you i wanted nothing to do with you?” i knew i was right. this is going terrible already. i should just leave.

but i didn’t want to. i needed to fix this. “you did but since im so selfish, im gonna do what i wanna do.” i joked.

no response. i knew i shouldn’t have said that.

“oh come on, y/n. ive been thinking about what you told me and.. i’m sorry.”

no response. i needed to get her back into my life. i need to tell her how much she means to me.

i sat down at the foot of her bed. “you’re right. it was selfish of me to expect all those things from you. at the time, i thought cassandra was my everything. despite all the bad signs, i only payed attention to the good ones. i guess i was just so caught up with cassandra that i failed to realize i had lost the most important person in my life, you.”

she sat up. her hair was tangled and greasy. her eyes were glossy and red. her nose was stuffed and she had eye bags. but despite all that, she still looked beautiful.

“jesus you look like shit.”

“yeah i wonder why camillo!” she shouted at me.

it went silent. “you have every right to be mad at me. but there’s no reason to leave the band.” i looked into her eyes. “the band hasn’t been the same without you and the guys really miss you. they keep reminding me that i screwed up big time and that i needed to fix it.” she laughed. how much i had missed her laugh.

“y/n, i really am sorry about everything.” we stared at each other. “you know, i will admit that i did miss you a lot. like a lot a lot.”

she smiled. “me too camillo.”

i hugged her. not only because i thought she needed it but also because i needed it too.

“how did you even get in anyway?” she asked.

“i hopped through a window.” i smirked.

she punched my arm. “ow! your mom had let me in, you jerk.” we both fell into laughter.

i love being around her. she’s my best friend. i missed laughing with her like this and i will do everything to make this friendship last.

a/n: please leave a like and a repost if you enjoyed todays chapter !! chapter 5 will be out next week. lots of love <3

[serowotonin]

falling ; bakugou k.

pairing ( bakugou katsuki x fem!reader ) wordcount ( 2.4k ) genre ( fluff & basically pining )

↷ a hc-styled narrative describing the four stages bakugou katsuki goes through as he finds himself falling for you . . .

STAGE I ( impression ) ;

the first time bakugou laid eyes on you was during the entrance exam at UA. 

back then, you were just another face in the crowd of faces he was going to have to beat to earn his spot in UA

the first time bakugou spoke to you wasn’t memorable to him either

like with everyone else, he was loud and rude and made it very clear he wasn’t interested in playing friends

after that you became a part of the class, just another extra, someone who’d just get in the way

that was all he thought you were… 

until you kicked todoroki’s ass one day during training

the teachers had paired everyone in the class and told you to practice your 1-on-1 combat skills using your quirk 

bakugou, who was paired with kirishima went first

you and todoroki were to be the last pair

despite a good effort put up by kirishima, bakugou still ended up winning that round

when it was finally yours and todoroki’s turn, bakugou paid extra attention

in his mind, he knew todoroki was powerful and someone to watch out for

but what happened was quite unexpected

you maneuvered easily through todoroki’s attacks with a combination of physical prowess and creative usage of your quirk

let’s just say his ice didn’t work on you and he was caught off guard, allowing you to snatch a win 

needless to say, most of your classmates were a bit surprised at first

bakugou included

they knew you were strong but they didn’t know you were that skilled

whatever the rest of the class thought didn’t matter to bakugou though

all he knew was that now he had to keep an eye on you

STAGE II ( perspective ) ;

after that event, bakugou did indeed keep his eye on you

it started off with him observing your moves whenever the class had to do any training exercises 

he saw you fight with todoroki a couple more times after that

those didn’t end in easy victory for you as it did before because todoroki was now more wary of you

however, the way you evaded and countered his attacks was something to be praised

in bakugou’s subconscious opinion at least

your moves were carefully thought out and bakugou could see that

he could see the effort and practice you had put into perfecting them

not only that, he could also see the natural talent that you had to be able to become this strong

and it wasn’t only your fighting capabilities

you were also smart

maybe he hadn’t noticed it before but he did now

you seemed to always know the answer when a teacher called on you and your grades were great

slowly, but surely, you gained respect in his eyes 

if he knew one thing about you, it was that you were maybe the tiniest bit better than the other extras 

for a while it stayed like this, him acknowledging you but never making it obvious and you just doing your thing

that was of course until one day in the morning before class started

mina, kirishima, and sero were talking about things as they usually were and somehow the conversation led to you

they were talking about how strong and smart you were and going on about stuff

bakugou must’ve turned his head in their direction or something but mina noticed him listening so asked him cheekily what he thought of you

“y/n? of course they’re strong. anyone could see that.”

he said that pretty loudly and didn’t seem to notice you walking into the classroom

and of course you heard

“did my ears deceive or did the bakugou katsuki just praise me?” you teased

he was pretty embarrassed, blushing and sweating a bit but trying to hide it

soon after though, class started and the ordeal was forgotten

but something about that interaction led to you and bakugou becoming closer

closer in that instead of passing the other off as another strong classmate as you usually would, you’d actually greet each other and talk 

you’d say hello to him in the mornings and goodbye after school and he’d just grunt or nod your way

but this was what it meant to be close to bakugou anyway

during the weeks that passed, bakugou found himself noticing you even more

before he only paid attention to your skills and thought about you as an enemy or rival of sorts

now it seems as if he’s just noticing the little things about you and your personality that make you who you were

he wasn’t doing it on purpose god forbid

no no it was just him being unknowingly observant

weeks turned into months and months turned into years

in a blink of an eye, you were all well in your second year

with everything that happened, you and bakugou became close

close enough for you to tease him at random times and close enough for him to ask you to fight him as training

by then it was safe to say bakugou knew you

he knew the little quirks you had 

he knew your different smiles, your different laughs

he knew your favorite foods and your not so favorite ones

he knew the many different little things that made you you

STAGE III ( contradiction ) ;

before the start of the third year, the class decided to have a little get-together party of sorts

to celebrate the start of their last year in high school and to catch up as everyone’s been busy with internships and whatnot

you spent the break away from tokyo so it’s been a while since you saw the rest of the class

naturally you were excited to be able to meet them all casually again before the intense studying and training that awaited you all 

bakugou, on the other hand, wasn’t too excited

frankly, he could do without seeing the class before school

but when he heard you were going to be there, he also agreed to go

so there you two were with the rest of the class at a cinema buying drinks and popcorn before your movie started

the neon lights and the prospect of popcorn lit up your face and bakugou couldn’t help but stare

there was just something, something he couldn’t quite figure out

it’s not that you were beautiful, it’s not that you looked cute in that outfit, it’s not that your smile was making his heart flutter

no it wasnt any of that true though they may be

you just.. you looked nice

thats why he was staring

yeah he hasn’t seen you in a while and you come back looking *nice* 

of course he would stare

anyone would

apparently you had noticed him staring though, so you sent a wink and a grin his way before turning back to the popcorn and drinks

in other words, you killed him

with ridiculously high levels of cute and nice

kirishima and sero were just watching the whole thing happen and hell was it obvious to them

their boi was falling hard

now they knew he’d never admit it and they knew you weren’t likely to do anything about his “crush” even if it was obvious to you too

so…

while bakugou was busy helping you carry your popcorn, they devised a rather devious plan

operation: jelly burst

objective? none other than to make explody boiy jealous

for what reason? no reason really it’s just fun to mess with him and this is probably the first time he’s had this big a crush

once everyone finished buying popcorn and was walking into the cinema, operation: jelly burst was put into action

“hey y/n ! come sit next to me” — sero

so you did, nothing strange bout that, sero was a good of yours anyway, nothing strange at all

bakugou moved to come sit next to you too but kiri hurried past him and sat down on your other side before he could

“oh hey bakubro didn’t see ya there sorry”

the seat kirishima stole was the last seat on the aisle

and bakugou was forced to go sit somewhere else

alone

poor guy</3

the seat he found was a few rows above yours though and all went according to the jelly burst plan

by the end of the movie, bakugou was in the foulest mood and no one, except for the 2 lads sitting on either side of y/n, knew why

operation: jelly burst didnt end there though

see they got him jelly but they haven’t gotten him to burst

the next week at school, kirishima and sero both acted really nice to you

it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary but they did talk to you just a tad bit more than usual

either way bakugou noticed big time and he did not like it

he did not like it one bit

the jelly was there alright

it was just boiling to unprecedented levels

pretty soon, the boys dumped the idea of operation: jelly burst 

mainly cos it was taking too long 

but also because bakugou had become at least 10x more hostile

except to you of course

for some reason, a reason absolutely no one could figure out(sarcasm intended), he was just

quiet around you

didnt yell but didnt really talk to you either

whenever anyone else, kiri and sero especially, tried to talk to him though, he’d shout louder and be a lot ruder to them 

he’s just agitated

and he knew why he was that way

he’s just in denial about it

he’s also in denial about the reason why

why couldn’t he just accept his feelings and act on it already?

kirishima asked him that one day in the dorms

he saw bakugou staring very intensely straight at you without blinking for a full minute

“look man, don’t even try to tell me you don’t like y/n. it’s obvious and i’m not an idiot. you aren’t either.”

“i know shitty hair. it’s just… i’m me. and she’s y/n. nothing’s ever gonna happen.”

“you don’t know that”

“but i do. cmon, she’s just so fucking perfect even with all her flaws. and i’m just the loud guy with exploding hands and no emotions.”

kiri was surprised honestly

this wouldn’t be the first time bakugou was insecure around him but the way bakugou talked about you and how he implied he wasn’t worthy

damn that hit kirishima 

“bakubro, i’m gonna help you”

STAGE IV ( intimacy ) ;

ever since he told kirishima abt what’s been bothering him about you and ever since kirishima declared he’d help, bakugou became more…

quiet

he was still loud, but he just became a soft kind of loud now(?)

it was like he got calmer and he was assured that things would be okay

of course things were not okay

why? because ever since bakugou fully accepted his feelings for you, he doesnt know how to act around you

the other day you asked him what he wanted to eat for dinner cause you were cooking tonight

his answer:

“you”

“umm..”

“-you can make anything you want. i’ll eat whatever.”

that and a lot of other little awkward incidents started occurring

also maybe it was just the weather but he always seemed red whenever you saw him

it wasn’t the weather though

it was him being shy and nervous and flustered

which made bakusquad extremely weirded out cause seeing him like that is like seeing aizawa cheerfully smiling and wearing bright color clothes

it was weird af and was just not right

anyway, mina’s advice to him was to try to get closer to you

“but we’re already close”

“no i mean closer on a personal level. ask her how her day was or ask her random stuff about her likes and dislikes or her hobbies or literally anything”

“oh… ok then”

and so he tried that

he tried getting closer to you by greeting you every morning and sometimes asking you if you slept well

you found it odd

it certainly was odd, but you didn’t mind

if you ask him why he asks about your sleep he just goes red and says he needs to make sure his opponent for his afternoon sparring session is well-rested and healthy

speaking of the sparring sessions…

he asks you to spar more often than usual and actually makes small talk during your breaks

he was also a lot nicer to you, offering to help carry stuff for you and assisting you in the little things

like getting a mug from the kitchen’s high shelves or picking up the pencil you accidentally dropped

what he did worked though and within a few weeks, the two of you got a lot closer

the next step, as mina put it, was “making sure she knew you weren’t interested in her as a friend”

now that was hard for bakugou to do

“it’s not that hard. you could just tell her.”

bakugou: ..??

“basically confess”

bakugou: wha- *shortcircuits*

CONFESSING

he never thought about that

he actually has

he knew in his mind he’d have to do it eventually if he wanted to have you

but he didn’t think it would be *this soon*

“dont think that much and just tell her you like her”

“you’re making it sound easy”

“because it is!”

he groaned internally

he’s faced tons of villains and been in quite the number of fearful situations but the fear he felt now was completely different 

“look if you’re afraid of rejection just confess like this”

*sero clears throat*

“*y/n i like you and i would like to be something more than friends. i’m not going to pressure you into anything so if yoh don’t want to we can just pretend this never happened>:)”

“...”

bakugou ended up confessing the next day though

just not like that

it was a spur of a moment thing and he wasn’t really aware he said it until you responded

the two of you were sparring as usual and you had just gotten close enough to knock him down and pin him to the ground

in that moment you were just so beautiful and amazing and everything and he just couldn’t keep it in apparently 

“i like you”

“w-what?”

“what?”

“did you just say you liked me?”

“like not liked dumbass”

“:o present tense o:”

well long story short, you like him too and you tell him that and you two just sit there grinning like idiots 

from then on things didn’t change much

you and bakugou still talked, although maybe more than usual

and still sparred with each other, although maybe less seriously and more playfully

some were surprised when it became known you were together

some weren’t 

whatever other people thought though, they couldn’t deny one thing:

bakugou looked at you as if you were the world

STAGE ∞︎ ( fallen ) .

note ; i started writing this soo long ago but then abandoned it cuz thats just me:”] bUT i decided that since its his birthday i might as well finish it up and finally post it u.u,,, also TYSM @animebsposts for helping me with this ily and ur amazing<3

taglist ; ( send ask to be added ! ) @lilikags​

[moldisgoodforyou]

florence (iv)

warnings: smut!! in the middle but you can see it coming if u wanna skip over it

wordcount: 8.3k

______

Six and a half hours and two transfers later on the train, Sophie and Rafe made it to Florence. They’d fallen asleep on each other multiple times and woken up with cricks in their necks or imprints of each other’s clothing onto their cheeks, and were both running on little sleep - somehow, he’d convinced her to go skinny dipping off a little cove at 2am the night before. She lasted about ten minutes in the water with him before she spotted someone with a flashlight along the beach and freaked, practically sprinting out of the water to pull her wet clothes back on and shove Rafe’s at him. (He’d hissed at her to relax until they heard yelling of “arrêter! Policiers!” They put together pretty quickly that it was “stop! Police!” and booked it back to the hotel, giggling the whole way.)

Despite Rafe’s tired grumblings, she made him freshen up and walk with her to go get dinner at a place a few blocks from the hostel. It was only 6, but they both hadn’t eaten in a while and had to be up early for an architecture tour Sophie had scheduled at 8am. He took two looks at the menu before handing it to her - she raised her eyebrows, skeptical. “You know what you’re getting?”

“It’s Italy. I want pasta every day.”

“Every day.” She repeated, doubtful.

“Every day. And gelato, every day. Those are my two requests.” He nodded, sure of himself.

“I think we can manage that. Did you learn Italian too over the summer, you want to order for us?” She teased, holding back a smile.

“C’mon, my Spanish wasn’t that terrible. It really wasn’t.” He protested, kicking her gently under the table.

She kicked him back reflexively, maybe a little too hard, and just rolled her eyes when he made a show of dramatically grabbing his leg. “It wasn’t awful. You just had zero accent, that’s kind of important.”

“Whatever, I’ll work on it.” He grinned. “You can teach me where to put my tongue.”

“Your ability to make anything sexual is impressive.”

“Wasn’t even sexual, but good job on you for twisting it.” He smirked, leaning across the table and lowering her voice. “Hey. Guess what.”

She did the same, reaching out and taking his hand. “What.”

“We’re in Italy.” He whispered conspiratorially, squeezing her hand.

“Yeah, and…?”

“When you were drunk on FaceTime once, you told me we needed to have sex in every country.”

She blushed, raising her eyebrows. “Did I?”

“You did, and I’m holding you to it. I got us single rooms in the hostels for a reason.” Rafe wiggled his eyebrows back with a smile, trying to get her to laugh. “But there’s like, a 98% chance I fall asleep on you if we try anything tonight, so we can check that off the list tomorrow.”

She had to hide a giggle as their waiter came over to take their order, turning it into a cough into her elbow. When the waiter left she shook her head, grinning. “Tomorrow’s fine. I appreciate the honesty.”

“Any time.”

_______

The next morning, Sophie woke up to her third alarm in a row with Rafe still blissfully asleep next to her, his arm curled around her middle and her leg thrown over his waist. She nudged her head up, knocking against his chin. “Hey.”

He stirred just enough to pull her closer and bury his face into her hair. “Shh. Sleeping.”

“We gotta get up, Rafe, we need breakfast before our tour.” She started scratching gentle circles on his chest, placing short kisses up along his neck. “Up.”

“If you keep doing that something else is going to get up.” He mumbled, humming contentedly with his eyes still shut. The hostel was busy with other kids their age and he’d woken up to the sound of two groups trying to open their door - twice - and their drunken whisper-yells. Sophie, of course, slept peacefully through the whole thing.

“We don’t have time for that.” She placed a kiss on the tip of his nose and tried squirming from his grip unsuccessfully. “Come on.”

“Five minutes.”

“Two.”

“Four.”

“...Fine.” She settled her head back onto the pillow, sighing as he grinned and nuzzled against her. “Only ‘cause you’re warm.”

“Yeah, what the fuck is up with the temps? This place is an icebox.” He replied, slipping his hand under her shirt and cupping her breast.

“Rafe.” She elbowed at him, a warning tone to her voice.

“M’ just holding it. You’re warm.” He argued, brushing his thumb over her nipple and smiling to himself when she let out a tiny whine. She made the mistake of pressing her hips back into him, just a little, and he groaned quietly into her ear. “Careful there.”

“You’re not seriously - oh my god, Rafe.”

He wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, just pushed his hips against her ass. “Can’t help it. I have my beautiful girlfriend in my bed that I haven’t seen in months.”

“It wasn’t even that long -”

“It was a whole quarter of a year without you, Sophie, now hush and let me sleep.” His tone took on a teasing lilt and he brushed his fingers down her stomach, making her tense. “Unless you’d like to do something else.”

“We don’t have time.” She told him firmly, knocking his hand away. He grumbled and pulled his hand out from under her shirt, settling his arm around her waist instead. “Lame.”

“You’re lame.”

“Okay. Good comeback. You’ve lost your touch.” He quipped with a tone of amusement, pulling her close again. Her alarm went off and he sighed dramatically, dropping his head to her shoulder. “Let’s skip.”

“We’re not skipping, we might never be in Florence again and I’ve wanted to see the Duomo and Palazzo Vecchio for years.” She twisted in his grip just enough to place a quick kiss on his lips then sit up, stretching. “Get up.”

“I’ll bring you back - no, Sophie, stay -” He protested weakly, reaching for her.

She smiled fondly at the way he was all squinty in the mornings, adjusting to the lights and trying to find his glasses, but her smile gave way to a pout she knew Rafe couldn’t say no to. “Baby, please? I don’t want to be late.”

“Fine.” He yawned and dragged himself out of bed, pulled on his glasses and shoved his feet into sneakers, just wearing his boxers. “I’m gonna go pee.”

“You’re not gonna at least throw on a shirt? Or shorts?” She questioned, eyeing him over with no shame.

He caught her gaze and flexed his chest, smirking. “Not if you’re enjoying the show.”

“You’re the worst.” She informed him, leaning over to give him a kick to the ass. “Go.”

As requested, she pulled out his clothes for the day after she got ready, finding a certain kind of pride in the fact that he trusted her in his appearance. She grabbed his wallet from the desk too, ready to stick it in her backpack, but paused when she realized it was a little thicker than normal, barely snapping shut. Curiosity got the best of her and she flicked open the wallet, pulling out a couple wrinkled and worn pieces of paper from one of the slots.

Rafe returned just as she was smoothing it open. “What are you doing?”

She startled, quickly turning and holding the paper behind her back. “Nothing! Just putting your wallet in my bag. So we didn’t forget.” She clarified quickly, cheeks blooming red at being caught.

He smirked, kicking off his shoes and striding closer. “If you wanted money, you could’ve just asked.” He teased, reaching around behind her. “Whatcha got?”

“Nothing.” She twisted, trying to set it on the desk without him noticing, completely unsubtle.

“Oh. You found your letters?”

Sophie paused. “My letters?”

“Yeah, that’s what they are.” He nodded and started pulling on his clothes for the day.

She brought it from behind her back to read and brightened, realizing it was two scraps from the many letters she’d sent to him when they were apart. He’d just cut out the two sappiest paragraphs she’d written, embarrassingly, as she found it much easier to express the extent of her love for him through writing rather than face to face. She pouted a little, skimming over them. “Baby.”

He turned back to her and ran his thumb over her bottom lip, shaking his head. “Hm? No pouting, little fish.”

“Little fish?” She quirked her brow, confused.

“Yeah, remember that one time you blamed your crying during finals week on being a Pisces moon? Pisces is the fish, I think.” Rafe reasoned, taking the papers out of her hand and carefully tucked them into a zippered pocket of his suitcase. “Since you’re here with me now, I guess you’ll just have to tell me how much you love me in person instead.”

She beamed up at him, adoringly. “I love you so damn much.”

He grinned and slipped his hands around her waist, pulling her close to kiss her slow. “Love you too, Soph. My favorite girl.”

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them strolled out hand-in-hand to the hostel cafeteria and picked through some pastries for breakfast, Sophie promising him a protein bar from her backpack when he complained he’d be lightheaded by eleven. He snapped a photo of her when she recoiled at the strong cappuccino with zero cream or sugar to cut it with, laughing as she tried her best to hide a cough. They found a spot at an empty table and it wasn’t long until a friendly couple came up to them with twin smiles.

“Hi, can we sit?” The girl asked, already setting down their plates.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Rafe replied, gesturing. Sophie noticed that his slight Carolinian accent came out a little more in Europe instead of in Ohio, as if he was trying to mimic a little bit of the Spanish and Italian accents and butchered it in his own special way. (She hadn’t corrected him yet, finding it endearing.)

“Thank you! I’m Elena, this is Marco.” Elena introduced herself, sliding into her seat.

Marco gave them a nod and pointed at Rafe, hesitant. “It’s...Jake?”

“Rafe.” He corrected, then explained to Sophie, “we met in the bathroom.”

“Your boyfriend is built.” Marco informed Sophie with a grin, making her laugh. “I know. I’m Sophie, it’s nice to meet you both. Are you just visiting, or…?”

“Yes, we’re from Milan, we wanted to make a weekend trip.” Elena confirmed. “And you? Americans?”

“North Carolina, yeah.” Rafe nodded. “Sophie was studying abroad in Barcelona, then I came to tag along.”

“Oh, so cool!” Elena grinned. “Do you have plans today? I love Florence, it’s beautiful.”

“It is, yeah.” Sophie glanced down at her phone, then back up at them. “I’m sorry, but we have to run, actually, we have a tour to go to this morning. But no plans later.”

“We will meet you by the Duomo, then, around lunch! We can show you around.” Marco declared, handing over his phone to Rafe to put in his phone number - he was a little confused, but did so anyways. “You guys don’t have to -”

“No, new friends are always fun.” Elena waved him off with a smile. “Enjoy your morning.”

Sophie brightened, slipping out of her chair. “See you later!”

Rafe followed her back to their room, and turned to face her after shutting the door with a skeptical look. “He was flirting with me.”

She laughed, packing up her backpack for the day (she’d bought the little leather bag in Barcelona and it was now one of her most treasured possessions, carrying her camera and sketchbook every day). “Don’t be ridiculous, you just have a big head.”

“No, I swear, he was giving me a look this morning when I walked back from the bathroom.” He insisted.

“I think you’re misinterpreting things, he was probably confused that you were shirtless. They were friendly, we should meet up with them! New friends!” She grinned and slapped a protein bar into his hand, as promised.

He furrowed his brow a little but slipped the bar into his pocket. “How long do I have to share you for?”

“Rafe.”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He amended quickly, leaning down to give her a sweet kiss. “Ready to see your Domo and whatever?”

“Duomo, baby. And the Palazzo Vecchio.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“Uh huh.” She held out her hand with a grin. “C’mon, Florence awaits.”

He took her hand and raised it, guiding her into a twirl. “We certainly can’t keep her waiting, then.”

______

Rafe wasn’t sure he absorbed a single word of the self-guided tour. Twenty boring minutes in, he’d turned down the volume on his audio pack that they’d rented and just observed Sophie and the small look of awe on her face at every new turn, the way she nodded enthusiastically when she recognized a piece of information shared on the audio. He decided he would be perfectly content with just watching her for the rest of his life, to see the way her face lit up when she learned new things and got to share that information with him.

He listened just enough to be able to hold a conversation with her afterward, but his intro to architecture class that he’d had to drop midway through the first month of the semester didn’t really give him a strong enough background to keep up. Sophie made him pause the audio several times too, so she could tell him a story about the architect or about the construction of the buildings - he did his best to look as interested as possible. She could tell he was losing interest, just a little, but carried on anyways, just excited to share her passions with him.

After finishing the tour and returning their audio devices a little early, they took a seat out on the steps of the piazza as they waited for their new friends. Sophie took out her sketchbook and started drawing the front entryway of the Duomo, and after two minutes she ripped out a sheet so Rafe could doodle too. (His sketches were much less refined, a little rough around the edges, but they made up for it in character.)

“Do you think they’ll show?”

“Marco and Elena? Yeah. They sounded genuine.” She replied, her tongue poking out a little in concentration as she sketched.

He suppressed a grin and snapped a quick photo of her before she could realize. “How long do we have to hang out with them?”

She shrugged. “Dunno. Maybe go to lunch, let them show us around and if we like them we can hang out more?”

“Hm. You think we’ll like them?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we?” She reached over and adjusted his hand, trying to help him draw a straighter line, but he just scowled and went back to his usual method.

“We don’t know anything about them.”

“That’s the whole point of staying in the hostel, baby, to meet people.” She nudged her foot against his, giving him an eager smile. “C’mon, you like making friends. You’re good at it.”

“Okay, fine, but I have something planned for us tomorrow afternoon.” He told her, raising his eyebrows.

She huffed, exasperated. “Rafe, I promise, we can have sex later, but I’m not wasting the day in bed -”

He laughed, flicking at her knee. “No, no, not that, but I like where your mind is at.”

“Oh.” She cocked her head a little. “What is it?”

“A surprise.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Not an expensive one, I hope?”

He made a show of pulling out his phone, dramatic. “Siri, cancel the private shopping tour at Gucci please.“

“Rafe Cameron.” She fixed him with a glare, unamused. He grinned back and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I know you better than that, don’t worry.”

“You’d better.” She rolled her eyes, then brightened when she saw Marco and Elena approaching and gathered up her sketchbook and pencils back into her bag, along with Rafe’s little drawings. He followed her gaze and stood, visibly steeling himself a little - she instantly nudged him to relax.

It didn’t take long for Rafe to warm up to their newfound friends, especially when Marco showed interest in his camera and when Elena asked him about his film minor, and enthused about how jealous she was that she couldn’t study something fun like that. He was a little caught off guard when they each got kisses on cheeks as a greeting, but didn’t mention it when Sophie shot him a look.

As promised, the two gave Rafe and Sophie a mini tour of the city, stopping for gelato twice along the way. After a solid few hours of walking and chatting, they stopped at a fountain by their hostel and sat around it to take a break.

“This fountain is special to us, you know.” Elena smiled at Marco and he nodded, tugging her down to his lap.

Rafe cocked his head. “Why’s that?”

“It is where we kissed for the first time.” Marco revealed with a raise of his eyebrows. “There’s a legend, if you throw a coin in here over your shoulder and it makes it to the top tier, you will find your lover.”

“Or lovers.” Elena added with a grin and dug in her pocket, then tossed two coins to Rafe and Sophie. “Here. I’ll tell you where it lands.”

Rafe tried handing his back, shaking his head. “No, I don’t want to waste your coin. I already have Sophie.”

Elena pushed it back into his hand, insistent. “You never know what will happen. It’s just good luck.”

Sophie looked a little confused but accepted the coin, tossing it in. Marco let out a whoop as it landed in the top tier, making a satisfying clink. “There you go!”

Rafe scowled but flicked his in too, looking a little smug when it joined hers up top. “See, I told you. Your lover’s right here.” He slipped his arms around her waist from behind, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, and mumbled, “Stupid fountain.”

Elena laughed, gesturing out to the crowd milling around. “Your lovers could be anywhere. Love is meant to be shared with more, yes?”

“...Sure.” Sophie leaned back into Rafe, content. “How long are you two here for?”

“We have as long as we’d like.” Marco shrugged. “Wherever the wind takes us.”

Rafe chuckled quietly into Sophie’s hair, murmuring. “Sounds like your worst nightmare.”

She just hummed in agreement back to him. “Oh. We leave in two days, early in the morning. Do you have plans tonight?”

“Probably a club.” Elena grinned. “You should come! We will teach you the tricks, get you the good Italian drinks. Sophie, I can show you how to flirt for the free drinks, the Italian way.”

She held back a laugh as she felt Rafe’s grip tighten a little around her. “Going out sounds fun. I’m not sure I have the right clothes, though, I sent a lot home already…”

“I have clothes! We will share.” Elena dismissed her immediately, then got up off Marco’s lap, tugging him up. “We are meeting with friends for dinner, but we will meet you later? At the hostel?”

“Sounds good.” Rafe nodded, letting Sophie go, and was surprised when the two of them said goodbye - again - with cheek kisses, Marco included. Once they were out of earshot, Sophie giggled at the bemused expression he wore. “I think you should start greeting James and Colin that way.”

He scowled. “James would participate. Colin might deck me.”

“Yeah, probably. I miss them.”

“More than you missed me?” He raised his eyebrows and she rolled her eyes, shoving at his chest. “Of course not. Don’t be weird.”

“I’m not being weird.”

“You are being weird, you get all overprotective and I know you wanted to say something earlier when she talked about flirting.” She took his hand and intertwined their fingers, giving it a little squeeze.

He softened a little and leaned down to press a kiss against the crown of her head, ignoring her remark. “What do you think she’ll have you wearing?”

“No clue. We’ll see, I guess.” She shrugged. “We have a few hours to kill, what do you want to do?”

“Hmm. We can go see the David?” Rafe tipped his head in that direction, and Sophie visibly brightened. “You want to go to an art museum?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard it’s cool. One of my buddies went last year and said it was worth checking out. Plus, air conditioning.”

“My two favorite words.” She grinned.

____

Later that night, Sophie walked out of the girls’ dorm with Elena to meet the boys, looking extra hesitant. She wore a black bikini top, maneuvered differently so it was upside down and strung up to push her boobs together, with an open back. One tug of a string and it’d all come undone. It was paired with a leather miniskirt and Elena insisted on doing winged eyeliner and soft pink lipstick too, all completely out of Sophie’s comfort zone.

Rafe’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw fell open a little. “Soph.”

“She’s gorgeous, yes?” Elena grinned, giving Sophie a little push on the shoulder toward him.

“Yeah, definitely, stunning.” Rafe nodded, searching her face. Sophie gave him a small smile, clearly uncomfortable in the attire. “It doesn’t look bad?”

“No! No, not at all. Do you like it…?” He questioned. “I can go get an extra shirt of mine from our room, if you want a little more, uh, coverage - not that you need to cover up, but -” He started, stepping toward that way even without her encouragement.

“No, um, I think it’s okay.” She grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. “Just a little...different. I just need a drink. Or two.”

He paused. “You’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” She nodded, then gave him a wry grin. “Just make sure no one accidentally tugs at this string or I think it’s all coming apart.”

He clapped his hand against the string at the back of her neck protectively. “You got it.”

“Ready? You look nice, Sophie.” Marco asked, sending her a polite smile, then stopped in front of Rafe. “No, wait.”

“Something wrong?” Rafe frowned, then widened his eyes as Marco reached out and undid two more buttons on Rafe’s shirt that already had three unbuttoned, so his chest was basically on full display. His attire was completely out of character for him, a short-sleeved maroon silk button-down that Marco had insisted on, but he wore it well. Sophie stifled a laugh.

“There! Much better. Now we go.” Marco took Elena’s hand and they led the way, starting the walk toward the club.

Sophie giggled at Rafe’s bemused expression and reached over and undid another button with her free hand. “You look extra slutty tonight.”

“Extra slutty?” He emphasized in mock outrage. “Maybe I’ll be the one getting us free drinks.”

She grinned. “How about we make it a competition?”

“Go on…”

“Whoever can get to...um, two drinks first wins.” She decided.

“Just two? Why not go the whole night?” He cocked his head.

“I don’t think I’m going to drink too much tonight.” She reached up and tugged at the bikini string to tighten it a little, pushing her boobs together more. “I feel like my tits are gonna fall out at any second.”

He snorted. “Say the word and I’ll give you my shirt.”

“I know you would, baby, but I think you need some semblance of decency too.”

They were practically glued to each other’s side all night despite their bet, with her being stressed about her outfit and him being overprotective. (Sophie noted that Rafe looked remarkably comfortable in the overpriced and fancy club environment, while she felt wildly out of place. For a moment she wished she’d taken him to Monaco just to see how quickly he’d assimilate, even though she knew she’d probably hate it.)

They took two shots with Elena and Marco and lost both of them shortly after, not expecting them to leave so soon. After they said hasty goodbyes, not returning, Rafe slung his arm around Sophie’s shoulders and kept her close. “I’m pretty sure I just saw Elena making out with some girl on the dance floor.”

Sophie furrowed her brow, leaning into him. “You’re sure? Isn’t she dating Marco?”

He shrugged. “Dunno, maybe it’s their thing. I swear it was her.” He grinned, repeating Elena’s words from earlier. “Your lovers could be anywhere, remember?”

She rolled her eyes. “She’s a little out there. When we were getting dressed she dragged a crystal down my spine and told me I had to align my chakras.”

“Kinky.” He quipped, laughing when she shoved at his shoulder. “Whatcha thinking, want to stay?”

“Honestly?”

“Yeah.”

She shook her head. “I’m tired and my feet are killing me. Let’s just head back?”

He took the rest of her drink and tipped it back, then set it on a nearby counter as they walked out. “Exactly how tired are you?”

She grinned. “I could stay up for a little longer. I saw your packing skills, might as well put them to good use.”

Rafe blushed - she’d found a whole strip of condoms in his bag on the first night in Barcelona and immediately teased him, asking how many nights he thought they’d be doing it. He merely responded by shrugging and ripping one open, setting it on the bed like an invitation. (She had accepted. Of course she did.) “We might as well take advantage of your top. Easy access, y’know.”

She rolled her eyes and checked her hip against his, shaking her head. “You have me, you know. You don’t have to keep constantly flirting.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Touché.”

_________

Rafe’s planned surprise for the next day was a bike tour (“so you can live out your Lizzie McGuire dream,” he’d told her, but she didn’t have the heart to correct him that technically Lizzie rode a Vespa in Rome).

The bike tour was out to a small winery where they had a private dinner and both got drunker than they expected, especially Sophie. The owners of the winery made them a three-course meal and kept coming out with more and more wines to try, successfully convincing Rafe to order three bottles to be shipped home. When Sophie nearly fell only a few feet after attempting to ride the bike back, the owners laughed and just ordered them a cab - Rafe thanked them with a tip that was probably a little too excessive, but his drunk brain didn’t care.

When they tumbled into the car, Rafe immediately pulled her feet into his lap, running his hand over her shin. She gave him a look and tried twitching away but he wouldn’t let her, keeping a firm grasp on her ankle. In Spanish, a little slurred but near-perfect, Sophie told the driver their address and the name of the hostel. Their driver nodded and responded something in Italian - neither of them could understand, so they just nodded back.

Rafe dug his thumbs into her calf and she nearly moaned, biting her lip. “Oh my god.”

“That good or you’re just drunk?” He smirked, continuing his motions.

She let her head flop back against the car door. “Both. You’re drunk too. My brain is working funny though.”

He raised his eyebrows, smiling. “I don’t think it is. What’s 15 plus 26?”

“Rafe, you know I can’t do mental math, unfair.” She whined, pulling her leg back a little so his hand slipped back to her ankle.

He swapped her legs, massaging into her other calf. “Not gonna take your shoes off in the car, sweetheart, you’ll have to wait for more.”

“Sweetheart. That’s new,” she repeated, mulling it over. “You know what?”

“What?”

“If you gave me a foot massage right now, I genuinely think I’d marry you on the spot. No contest.”

“No contest implies there is competition, Soph.” He pushed both her legs off his lap, ignoring her squawk of protest, and slid into the middle seat so he could buckle her in and lean into her.

She tucked her head into his side comfortably. “You’d marry me too. Wouldn’t you?”

“Right now?”

“Yes.”

“Hm. No.”

She whined, squeezing his thigh. “Rafe!”

“Sophie!” He mimicked her whine, although much quieter, and pushed her hand away from his leg. “No, I wouldn’t, you deserve a big party and a pretty white dress. Plus, wouldn’t you want our friends there?”

“I suppose.” She hummed, pulling his arm a little tighter around her shoulders. “Sometime, then.”

“Yeah, sometime.” He agreed, starting to play with her hair. It wasn’t long until she fell asleep on his side, always extra sleepy when she was wine drunk. He snapped a picture and sent it to Allie and Julia, who instantly demanded a Facetime session.

A few minutes later, the cab dropped them at the hostel and Rafe had to practically drag her sleepy body out of the car and haul her inside. He convinced her to stay awake just long enough to get into their room, then let her flop onto the bed as he untied her shoes.

She perked up a little when she heard the familiar ring of the Facetime call. “Who’s that?” He scooted in close to her, pressing his cheek to hers to fit them both on the screen with minimal effort. Allie and Julia picked up right away and both their faces broke out into a grin.

“Mom and Dad!” Julia exclaimed.

Sophie grinned back, immediately taking the phone from Rafe and shoving him away. “Hi!”

“She’s drunk.” Rafe informed them unnecessarily off screen.

“I am not, shh.” She snapped at him. “Hi guys! I miss you!”

“How’s your trip? I want to hear all about it!” Allie asked right away.

Sophie glanced at Rafe, the wheels turning in her head. “Should we tell them? Are we allowed?”

He furrowed his brow. “Why wouldn’t we be allowed?”

“Okay. So we had sex last night -”

“Jesus, Sophie, no -” He immediately wrestled the phone away from her as Allie and Julia both cried out with a chorus of “no, stop!”

“You said it was allowed!”

“I didn’t think you were going to talk about that!” Rafe rolled his eyes and gave them an apologetic smile. “We’ll be home in a little under a week, Soph can catch you up then. On the less explicit details.”

“You taking care of our girl, Cameron?” Julia asked, smiling as Sophie nuzzled into his side like a cat - she was always extra touchy when drunk, even just with the girls.

“Technically, she was mine first.” He pointed out.

“Technically, you made her cry after multiple fights before you ever dated, so no. She’s been ours since freshman year.” Allie corrected.

“I can be everybody’s.” Sophie mumbled, taking Rafe’s hand and placing it on her head so he’d get the hint and start playing with her hair again.

“Polygamy. Spicy.” Julia quipped.

“I would like to have sex or go to sleep now.” Sophie announced without a care in the world. “Can we hang up?”

Julia snorted, while Allie rolled her eyes.

“You’re not gonna talk to your friends?” He asked, trying to hand the phone back to her, but she just shook her head and pushed it away. “M’tired.”

“You just said you wanted to have sex.” Julia said.

“Yes, I’m not gonna do any of the work.”

Rafe shook his head and angled the phone back to his face. “Okay then. Sorry, guys, we had way too much wine at dinner. We’ll see you soon?”

“Yeah, of course. See you soon! Bye, Soph!” They both chimed in, waving until they hung up. He dropped the phone, amused. “What was that about?”

“Honesty is the best policy.” She told him, sprawling out onto the bed. “Alright. Have at me.”

He rolled his eyes. “No. You need to shower, then we can go to sleep.”

She sighed dramatically. “Rafael.”

“That is not my name.”

“Okay. Rafe.”

“Yes.”

“Can we please have sex?”

“No we cannot.”

She pouted, rolling over onto her stomach and looking up at him. “Please? I’ll let you go down on me.”

He laughed. “You’re so generous. No. Come on, shower time.” He gathered up her towel and clothes for her to change into after, then tugged at her hand. “Angel. Up.”

“Shower with me.” She demanded, getting up and following him out the room with only a few stumbles along the way.

“You want us to get kicked out? I don’t think so.” He ushered her into the small shower stall, slipping in behind her and locking the door, then helped her undress, dodging multiple kisses. He folded her clothes and set them aside then gave her a small push into the shower that he’d turned on for her. “Okay. I’m going to wait outside.”

“No, no, stay.” She yelped as the water hit her, ice cold, and fiddled with the handles. “Fucking - oh my god -”

Rafe quickly jumped forward and adjusted them to the right temp, then turned his back on her. “Fine, I’ll stay, but only because I’m worried you’ll drown.”

“Can’t drown in a shower, silly.” She reached out and shoved her soapy hand through his hair and he sighed, turning back to look her in the eye. “Sophie Flint. Please behave.”

“You behave.” She gave him a mischievous grin, then lowered her voice to a whisper despite there being no one else milling around in the bathroom. “Come in.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Not completely. Not anymore.” She argued. “I’ll go down on you.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “If you really want to, you can save that for the morning. Finish your shower so I can get in. I’ve decided I don’t trust you to stay alone in the room.”

“Or you could get in with me…” she trailed off, tugging him down for a kiss - he gave in just for a moment before glancing away, trying his hardest to ignore his naked girlfriend - wet and covered in soap suds, no less.

“Soph. Rinse your hair.”

She crossed her arms, stubborn. “No.”

“Oh my god.” He rolled his eyes and double-checked the lock before he stripped down and got in with her, nudging her back under the feeble shower spray. He figured he’d have to shower anyways, and the faster he got her back to bed, the better. “Rinse.”

“Do it for me.” She protested, resting her head against his chest. He sighed but tipped her head back into the water and massaged his hands through her strands, stilling for a brief moment when she let out a breathy moan. “Hey. Can’t do that.”

“Sorry, can’t help myself.” She excused, then reached up onto her toes to lather shampoo into his hair once he was finished. He ducked down a little so she could reach, pressing his head against her hand. “M’ gonna be hard if you keep that up,” he mumbled.

She giggled. “It’s just shampooing. And I think you’re halfway there.”

“It’s intimate.” He protested, nearly melting into her touch. He loved when she played with his hair, how gentle she was (except when she’d occasionally tug on some strands to get his attention).

After shampooing and rinsing his hair, she lathered soap between her hands and smoothed it over his chest, over his shoulders. He swallowed, watching her and feeling like his skin was on fire despite the warm water waning. “You’re still drunk.” He mumbled.

“Not really.” She pressed a kiss to his neck, then another, then along his collarbone. “I know what I’m doing.” His illogical side was beginning to give way to her actions, especially as she sunk to her knees in the shower, running her hands down his thighs. “Let me.”

“Baby…” He was hesitant and clearly worried about being caught, and reached down to tip up her chin. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Although this is twice now that I’m getting cheated out of shower sex, kind of rude.” She grinned up at him.

“Sophie, I will fuck you in the shower all you want when we’re home - oh, shit -” He nearly gasped as she took him into her mouth, jerking his hips involuntarily. She gagged and immediately pulled off him, pinching his thigh. “Jesus, Rafe, trying to bruise my throat or something?”

“I had no warning! I’m sorry!” He exclaimed in a hushed whisper, fumbling for the shower faucet to turn it just a tad hotter as it rained down on his back. “I didn’t mean to, I swear.”

“I mean, we can try it, but another time, okay?” She smirked as his eyes went wide and she licked up the underside of his cock, carefully taking him into her mouth again. He let out a deep exhale and bit down on his knuckle to keep himself quiet, letting his head fall back against the shower wall. She continued bobbing up and down on him and when he looked down after a few moments, he nearly choked watching her touch herself at the same time.

“Sophie - let me -” He tried, but she just hollowed out her cheeks and moved on him a little faster, and he could tell from the way she hummed around him that she was close too - impossibly close. He pushed her gently off of him and hauled her up to stand, even though she protested, and traded places faster than she could think, hooking her knee over his shoulder and going straight in with his tongue.

She gasped, a little louder than intended, and he sent her a warning look. They could hear some giggles from down the hall, coming closer and closer, and she panicked, tugging at his hair to bring him up, but he refused to stand. “Be quiet.”

“Rafe you know I can’t -” She pleaded, then pressed her hand tight to her mouth when the door opened and he continued to eat her out with no sign of stopping. Realistically, there was no chance of getting caught unless they were heard - they were in one of four locked shower stalls and even Rafe couldn’t be seen over the top, despite his height. Another gasp caught in her throat as he flicked his tongue across her clit, faster, and she felt like she might black out when she came.

He looked up at her and she could barely see the blue rimming his pupils, eyes dark with lust. That was enough to push her over the edge and she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a not-so-quiet whine.

The girls’ conversation stopped out by the sinks and one of them spoke up, loudly. “Did you hear that?”

Rafe stood after working her through the orgasm - as always - and clamped his hand over her mouth, reaching down in between them to jack himself off as he whispered in her ear. “Don’t make a sound. You’re so good for me, Soph, so fucking special.”

She felt like her legs were jelly and her head was spinning, in a haze post-orgasm (and the excessive steam in the shower didn’t help). She pushed his hand away and kissed him, hard, grinning against his lips when he uttered a soft groan, painting her stomach with his cum.

He rested his forehead against hers, trying his best to breathe quietly, a different girl spoke up. “No, I didn’t hear anything. Probably just the shower faucet being weird.” There was a murmur of agreement and the group left, the door swinging shut to make a loud exit.

Sophie let out a small laugh of disbelief, shaking her head. “You’re…I can’t even think.”

“Incredibly sexy?” He supplied with a grin, nudging her back under the shower spray and handing her the body wash to clean herself off.

“Incredibly insane, more like it.” She shivered once she was clean and flicked off the faucet. “You went from no sex tonight to near-exhibitionism all within the span of a half hour.”

He glanced at his watch before wrapping her in her towel. “Forty-five minutes since we’ve been home, actually, it’s a miracle the water wasn’t ice.”

She patted herself dry and pulled on her clean clothes, scowling as she had to shove her feet into her mildly sweaty shoes. “Um. You need fresh clothes.”

“Right.” Rafe paused, then stacked his clothes on top of hers and wrapped her towel around his waist. “This’ll do. You leave first?”

“Good call.” She grinned and slipped out of the bathroom unnoticed, back to their room, and was under the covers when he returned. “C’mere.”

He tugged on clean boxers and called it good, slipping under the covers with her and drawing her close. “Sleepy?”

“Yeah.” She grinned to herself and pressed a chaste kiss to her jaw. “Baby.”

“Hm?” He closed his eyes, feeling like he could fall asleep at any second.

“You’re so easy.”

“Easy?” He echoed. “Maybe. Just for you.”

“Aw. Slutty just for me.” She grinned and rested her head on his chest, sighing contentedly when he wrapped his arms around her. “Good night.”

“Night, love you.” He mumbled.

“Love you too.”

_____

After another long day of exploring (and five gelatos, between the two of them), Sophie and Rafe agreed to meet up with Marco and Elena to go out again before they left. Rafe insisted on buying Sophie a better outfit for going out, despite her protests, and they ended up buying three outfits instead of just one. The night started out tame, with Marco and Elena actually sticking by Sophie and Rafe - until Marco kept buying more and more shots of limoncello and sambuca.

The sambuca shots came to their table on fire, and Rafe was a little too enamored by the flame by the third round he’d consumed (Sophie passed hers off to him, a little worried about her ability to keep an eye on him otherwise). When she noticed Rafe’s terrible typing on a Snapchat to Colin and James, she leaned up to yell in his ear. “Hey! I’m going to go get water. No more shots.”

“I’ll come!” He got up from his chair and immediately stumbled, gripping the table. Marco caught him by the arm, laughing. “I can watch him. It’s okay.”

She nodded and pressed both hands to his shoulders to keep Rafe in place. “Okay. You stay here with Marco, I’ll be right back, baby.”

“Promise?” He frowned, reaching out for her.

“I promise.” She pressed a kiss to his temple. “Stay.”

After fighting her way up to the bar, and poorly communicating that she wanted acqua, water, not acqua di cedro, an Italian liqueur, Sophie finally made it back to the table after ten minutes - just in time to catch Marco leaning in and kissing Rafe.

Rafe had leaned in a little too, misreading and thinking Marco was just trying to tell him something in his ear over the loud crowd. He jerked away with wide eyes just so Marco caught the corner of his lips, then abruptly looked around in shock to see if anyone else caught it.

Marco cocked his head, confused. “You are not interested?”

Sophie came up and handed Rafe the water, tucking herself into his side protectively. “What’s going on?” He gaped at her for a second then back at Marco, trying to gather his thoughts. “Interested?”

“In me.” Marco nodded. “We have been flirting.”

“We’ve been what?” He repeated, in shock.

“I’m his girlfriend.” Sophie clarified, gesturing between the two of them. “I thought we told you -”

“Yes, and I have my girlfriend too!” Marco nodded, tapping Elena on the shoulder and bringing her close. “What is the issue?”

“Oh, did you ask?” Elena brightened, sending Sophie a flirtatious grin. “Did they say yes?”

“I’m too drunk for this.” Rafe mumbled, pressing his palm to his forehead.

“Wait, wait, so. You two want to hook up with Rafe -” Sophie started, only for Marco to shake his head. “No, no, both of you. You for Elena.”

“I thought you could tell? We were flirting all week!” Elena exclaimed, and both Sophie and Rafe thought back to several incidents over the past few days that they’d just chalked up to the Italians being friendly. Kisses on cheeks, Elena telling Sophie to toss coins in the fountain so she’d meet her lover in Florence, Marco complimenting Rafe’s body multiple times when he came back in just a towel after the showers - shit, were they really that oblivious?

Rafe just groaned and dropped his head down to Sophie’s shoulder. “I’m so drunk.” She laughed, more out of confusion than anything. “Um, I’m sorry, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. We’re not really inter - well -” She paused, debating for a moment and glancing up at Rafe to make sure she wasn’t speaking for him. (In her defense, she wasn’t sober either.)

“No!” Rafe exclaimed.

She nodded quickly. “Right, right, yeah. We’re not really interested, I’m so sorry if we gave you the wrong idea.”

“Oh. I would not have kissed you, I am sorry -” Marco began to apologize, but Sophie shook her head. “It’s okay! It’s okay, he’s fine. Um, here, you can have these, I think I need to get Rafe back home.” She pushed their waters into Elena’s hands, giving them an awkward smile.

“Will we see you at breakfast?” Elena asked as she smiled back, completely unfazed.

“Um...yeah. Maybe. Rafe, c’mon, let’s go.” Sophie looped her arm around his waist and tried pulling him out of the club, and he just dragged his feet along. “I can’t believe he kissed me.”

“Shh,” she giggled as she hushed him, tugging on his arm. “Rafe, cooperate, please.”

“I’m trying, I’m trying.” He grumbled, standing slightly more upright and doing his best to walk with her once they finally made it out. She got out her phone to look up the directions back to their metro stop and he wiped his hand over his mouth, scowling. “I need a kiss.”

“You nearly got one from Marco.” Sophie quipped with a smirk.

“I didn’t want a kiss from Marco.” He lamented with a big sigh. “Need one from my girl.”

“Just one, then we gotta make it home.” She complied, rising up on her toes to give him a short kiss. He grabbed her chin, not so gently, and tilted it back up to give her another kiss. “No. More.”

“I’ll kiss you as much as you want when we get back. Will you please help me and walk to the metro? One block, then just two when we go to the hostel. You can do it.” She pulled out of his grip and looped her arm in his, trying to get him going. “Rafe. Please.”

“So whiny.” He mumbled, but followed along. “Sophie, baby, Soph.”

“Yeah, bud?”

“My legs feel like jello.”

She grinned. “Kissing Marco had you that weak-kneed?”

“Shut uppppp.” He whined, messing with her hair. She jerked away, swatting his hand. “Hey! Quit.”

“You quit.”

“Shut it.”

He was quiet for a solid minute and she could tell he was thinking something over, with the way his brow was furrowed and lips were pursed. “Sophie Flint.”

“Yeah?” She was grateful when they arrived at the metro, tugging him onto the empty car and scanning their tickets. She wrestled him into a seat and eventually ended up on his lap after some pushing and pulling, his forehead pressed to hers. “What, Rafe.”

“Were you gonna sleep with Elena?” He looked concerned and his hands gripped her waist a little tighter.

She laughed, pulling back to brush his hair out of his face. “No, baby, I wasn’t going to sleep with her. I didn’t even know that’s what they were trying for.”

“Oh. Good. I don’t think I’d like you sleeping with someone else.” He told her, closing his eyes a little as she combed her fingers through his hair.

Sophie held back another laugh, nodding. “Yeah? I didn’t think you would. Don’t fall asleep on me, buddy.”

“Boyfriend. Not buddy. Buddy’s just a friend. I can have other nicknames too though.” He argued, letting his head fall back against the metro walls.

“What other nicknames?” She asked, moving to get off his lap, but he just tightened his grip on her so she couldn’t.

“Hm…I’m okay with smokeshow.”

She snorted, nodding. “Alright, smokeshow. We can go with that.”

“Sophie.”

“Yes, Rafe.”

“I’m in love with you.” He declared, leaning forward and placing a kiss to the bridge of her nose. She beamed and leaned in too to bump her nose against his, then press a short kiss to his lips. “You’re very sweet when you’re drunk.”

“I need you to say it back.” He frowned, tugging gently at the ends of her hair.

“I’m in love with you too.” She grinned. “Adore you, even.”

He hummed, looking her over with concentration and a small smile. “I like the sound of that. Do we have to go to breakfast tomorrow? I don’t really wanna see them again.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Our train to Rome is at seven, I was kind of hoping they’d be too hungover to remember us.”

“Hostel breakfast doesn’t open til 8.” He frowned. “Am I gonna starve?”

Sophie rolled her eyes and nudged her nose against his. “No. I’ll make sure you get food.”

“You’re so good at taking care of me.” He smiled sleepily, pulling her closer and dropping his head to her shoulder.

She beamed, combing her hand through his hair. “I try my best, baby. Always will.”

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney @babeyglo

[insufferablelust]

mob boss spence with a massive size kink, he may be skinny but hes tall and youre really short, he loves to pick you up and just bounce you on his cock standing up. he loves the squeaks you make when he forces you onto him. AND he loves watching the tummy bulge you get from his cock 😫😫

sggsvshdjsks please i’m horny and in my period, and and and iv hurts!

—

It doesn’t even matter if you’re smaller or bigger than him— because that man will still DOMINATES you and somehow makes you feel small, so small that everything you do is by his command, his and his only. Especially when he’s fucking you, seriously that man has a big cock okay, i— have you seen his fucking fingers ffs.

okay so here’s the imagine ;

It has been a solid 15 minutes since he texted you the command, since he asked you to ‘be on your knees, wait by the door, and behave.’ a seemingly never ending 15 minutes of you kneeling by your door, with your hand upwards just as he likes it, your back arched the right angle just how he wants you to and your knees parted a bit just like how he preferred. He wasn’t even in the room and yet he already makes you falling deeper deeper deeper into your subspace, making you feel all small and subby. Perfect little butterfly, he’d coo.

Your palm twitched eagerly, back straightening right away as you heard the key jingling, and your doorknob turns, as you put your head down and brushed your lips— saying nothing, not until daddy commands you to. You can’t see him, not really, as he stepped into your apartment, with his million dollar looking suit and his polished shoes, you could tell he was smiling, all nice and warm as he acknowledged you by patting your head.

He said nothing but a chuckle as he watched you trying to restraint your head from leaning against his palm; all big and warm against your heating skin. But before you could even disobey him, his touch was gone and the sound of his oxfords tap tap tap on the hardwood floors, moving away from you has you pouting, heart beating. Have you done something wrong? perhaps you’re not positioned the way you supposed to? or maybe he saw how desperate you are.. and and and— so many thoughts were runjibg inside your mind.

“I could practically hear you thinking from all the way over here pet.” He scoffed, his footsteps coming closer, gentle this time— he had taken his shoes off. You gulped nervously as you heard a slight familiar jingle closer and closer to you. You smiled eagerly as you know what was coming, your toe curled under you despite the numbness that’s taking over your limbs.

“Been a good girl, maybe i should reward you today.” He exclaimed as he stepped behind you, before he went to carefully yet messily braid your hair loosely. He then stepped forward before placing your good-girl collar around your throat, as a sign of praise. He’s proud of you. A sign that you could voice out your words now.

“Thank you, Daddy.” You whispered, throat feeling dry yet excitement laced onto your tone oh so clearly. He hummed with an answer before his finger tilt your chin up so you can look at him.

Good god,

He towers over you like you’re nothing but a small butterfly under him, so so big and.. daddy, your daddy. Spencer smiled gently as he noticed the way your eyes swammed with pure adoration, lust, and something he can’t quite decipher— or doesn’t want to, yet. “Up, pet.” He coaxed you, helping you get up on your knees, stabling your feet before leading you towards the huge couch he brought you along with the apartment, for the sole purpose of quick fucking he said once.

But this is no quick one, oh no no, daddy’s going to take care of you now, and you know it.

He sat down, and spread his thighs, his eyes bouncing from your face to the collar thats wrapped snuggly around your throat, and the way you silently stood there with heavy breathing, awaiting for his next command. “Bring daddy’s book, and pour him a shot of bourbon, go on.” His eyebrows raised as you eagerly followed his command, so eager, just like a little puppy would.

You placed his glass gently on the table, as you handed him the book, which you were sure was something tolstoy— your man does love a good literature after all. He pat his lap, urging you to straddle him before he opens his book and calmly begins to read.

You waited and waited anxiously as you watched him, all quiet and relaxed, making you all dizzy with the lack of acknowledgement from him. His cock was straining against his pants, the urge to grind against him was strong but you kept it together— for you know that you’ll be rewarded for it. When he does spoke though, the fully functioning fuzzy brain of yours shuts itself down with intense amount of lust and yearning.

“Daddy has had a pretty tiring day, butterfly. And he wants you to bounce on his cock lookin all pretty and slutty like how you look now. If you’re good and don’t cum until daddy does, then i’ll fuck you dumb after but if my darling little whore is way too needy then she can just grind her pathetic little cunt against the edge of my book, you understand, little one?” He doesn’t even look up at you, just acknowledging you with that condescending tone, and a simple command, simple command that you were sure made to make you fuck up.

He knows, Spencer knows damn well how quickly you cum when you’re on top, riding him like that. He knows, your cute body just can’t decipher how huge his cock is all the way up your belly, all tight and warm. Truth to be told, he wouldn’t last long either, not when you squeak all adorable when he gets deep enough, not when you struggle to take him inside you still— all whiney when you feel like you can’t sink down because he’s just so fucking big and you’re just a cute little thing. But you on the other hand, you’d be a mess, cum within seconds after you sink all the way, with his cock buldging from your belly, all nice and big.

“Do you understand or do i need to repeat myself?” Repeating himself would meant spanking, and you know that you don’t need the added stimulation now.

“I understand daddy.” You muttered as you went on your knees, tugging his jeans loose before fishing out his cock, and gasped at the size.

“Good, now get to work.” He scoffed as he goes back to reading his so not interesting book.

oh how you would suffer.

—

I’m endibg it there because.. you’ll see more in the upcoming chapter, ik im evil

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: pretty girl Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: : In which you finally meet the perfect girlfriend of Miya Atsumu and he starts to slowly accept the fact that whatever happened between you two is long gone (or is it?)

authors note: 

here to give my thanks again, literally feels so surreal with how much love this story is getting despite the angst sjjsdjsjd i-

also ive released the prologue for my first ever smau! its a more lighthearted one compared to this one between sakusa and an older gn!reader, if you’re into that check it out here uwu

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You’ve never actually seen Miya Atsumu and his girlfriend.

This was your first time today during Sugawara’s house party, Daiki had forced you to go and insisted that the three of them needed to have their manly bonding time (it actually only consisted of stuffing themselves with junk food and watching shounen animes), “...Also don’t you want to bond out with your ex-boyfriend that you chose over me? I’m hurt, I didn't know you like fake blonde volleyball players.” he fake-sniffled, in which you replied with an arched brow.

You didn’t know how he ended up knowing about Atsumu, you were expecting a talk from him but he simply shrugs it off and says, “No matter how much I tell you that you should tell him, you won’t listen. So I won’t bother wasting my breath, just know that you’re being selfish by denying these boys the right to have a father and you're denying that blonde shrimp to be a dad too.” 

“Y/N-san, I’m surprised you came!” Sugawara grins.

“Daiki took charge of the kids.” You replied, fiddling with the keys in your hand.

“He looks very reliable.” the teacher exclaims, handing you a drink in which you completely deny because you weren’t very good with alcohol, “You guys would make a great couple!”

“Oh,” You voiced, you were very familiar with those words, many people had always thought you and Daiki would make a good pair. It was definitely a shock to many when they found out you were pregnant and that the basketball player was not the father despite being there most of the times, “I’ve never seen him that way.”

“He did mention that, he even openly confessed to Miya-san that he’s jealous of how he was your first boyfriend.”

You choked on your saliva, that fucking sly bastard-

“Anyways, make yourself comfortable! I have to go say hi to my old friends from college!” he exclaims, patting your shoulder. You immediately turn around to find Miya Atsumu cozying up with a beautiful girl in his arms.

Ah, that must’ve been the beautiful model with legs for days.

“You’re kind of staring.” comes a very familiar voice.

You want to roll your eyes but you decided against it, “I didn’t know you and Sugawara-san were close, Inunaki-san.” you greeted your annoying senior.

“Suga-san’s a friend to the whole team…” he grins, “Also, I’m just here to warn you that Osamu might be here later, he’s not as nice as Atsumu towards you.”

“You don’t have to remind me.” 

“Come to think of it,” Shion Inunaki paused, tapping his chin in deep thought, “Atsumu still follows you around like a lost puppy. He’s been spending his off days with you instead of his girlfriend. I’m actually surprised he even brought her here today.”

“What are you implying?” You reply, feigning ignorance.

“Ah, L/N-san. I love how you still don’t care about my kohai’s feelings up till now.” He grinned, sarcasm oozing out of his sentence.

“Don’t be silly.” You glazed,“What feelings would there be but hatred?”

“It’s anything but that, L/N-san.” he turns to you, hand on his hip, “Even I don’t get why he’s so into you after all this time and the shit you put him through. He’s got someone better in front of him. Physical looks and emotionally speaking, Ri-chan’s a whole lot better than you… No offense…”

You knew he was rubbing salt to the injury but you couldn’t really bring yourself to argue with him, after all, he was right at the most part (you technically considered yourself as the big bad villainous ex in Atsumu’s life) 

“You sound like those girls who used to threaten me back then when I was dating Miya-san.” You replied coolly, Inunaki even notices the amusement dripping in your tone, it's as if he hadn’t insulted you right at the face and called you a lesser being, “It’s almost pathetic.”

You ended up on the balcony right after, so much for trying to socialize, who were you kidding? It’s good you manage to escape the scene before Osamu could see you there, you couldn’t handle Inunaki and the grey-haired twin together. Thank god that Aran wasn’t around the area.

“Figured you’d be here.”

You turn to find the one and only source of all your problems these days, Miya Atsumu, you narrow your eyes in annoyance, “You should leave, people will get the wrong idea.” You simply replied, “I’m not in the mood to be in the middle of that.”

“I just came here because I wanted to apologize about that night with your brat.” the blonde casually leans against the doorway, “It was my fault for riling him up.”

“Yuuto has a temper, he’s more of his otosan than me.” 

“What was he like?”

“Who?”

“The bastard that you miss, those brats father…”

You tilt your head and press your lips together, surprised by his choice of words, “Special.” you openly-confessed as you gaze at the very man in front of you. Oh, the irony of it all. 

How you wish it was that easy to let go of all your fears and anxiety, if you had told him six years ago about your pregnancy, would your life probably be different? What if you told him now? How would he feel?

“He’s lucky,” he admits, gaze fixed on you, “I mean - other than the part that he died  - he was a lucky guy, Y/N.”

It dawned upon you that moment that this had been the first conversation you had with your ex that held no hatred, malice, or anger. He seemed to be slowly accepting the fact that you wanted to do nothing with him. Like you, he had no choice but to move on.

“ ‘Tsumu! What the fuck you moping around alone for up there? You got a girlfriend here!” Osamu calls down from below. You both snap back to reality at his brother's voice, “Guess that’s my cue to leave, I’ll see you around, Y/N.” he uttered softly and as he turned away, you suddenly spoke out.

“I’m sorry.” He freezes in place, somehow this apology seemed different than the rest, “I know I’ve said that a lot these past few weeks and that night but I want you to know that every apology was genuine. I just, I’m not very-”

“I know.” He suddenly turns to you, the very familiar and warm grin that you're accustomed to decorates his features and you feel like its that night in fall and you're back in college again, “I guess I was so wrapped up in wanting to get an emotion out of you that I hadn’t  realized, it’s not you if you did that. You always had trouble expressing yourself naturally to people after all.”

You feel your insides clamp and your lips tremble lightly, you feel the air turn heavy around you. How is that he was always the one pulling the strings and doing all the work between you two? How could he forgive you this easily?

“Don’t be silly.What feelings would there be but hatred?”

“It’s anything but that, L/N-san.” 

“I’m proud that you’re trying hard for your kids though,” He chuckles, “Those brats are lucky they get to see all sides of you everyday.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight.” you muttered, watching his figure walk away and vanish in the dark, leaving you all alone in the night of spring.

“...I now pronounce you husband and wife…”

You stare at your father and his new wife looking at each other with complete love and adoration, something you never saw when you were growing up. It sickened you to the point that you turn slightly pale and feel the bile on your throat rise. You watch them exit the church as sakura petals fall, the idea of a picture perfect wedding and happily ever after like the fairytale books you used to scorn when you were a child.

You loathed it.

He even had the audacity to invite you and your mother. She ended up not going and was probably drowning herself in cheap saki at home.

You sat at the back during the reception, along with the people who were not exactly ‘close’ to the bride-groom. You feel like an utter fool, why were you even here? You should’ve gone home or attended that stupid party and get stupid drunk with people you barely knew like your mother.

Yeah, that’s right.

You’d rather be there than here.

“Ah,” you hear a glass clink, you saw one of your dad’s friends stand up, ready to make a speech, “First off, I’d like to congratulate my friend. Finally!” laughter resonates throughout the room but you don’t follow suit, instead, you hold onto the wine glass tightly as if you don’t like where this was going, “I know how unhappy you were back then but ever since you met Yui-chan, your life seemed to have become better. I could never be more proud!”

You could feel yourself getting sicker by the moment, especially after you heard the words you dreaded to hear the most, “Let’s not make anymore mistakes shall we?” he jokes.

All you could see was red right after, grabbing your clutch on the table as you made a haste exit. Was this the reason he invited you? To shove it on your face that you were a mistake made?

That you shouldn't have been born?

You ended up breaking a heel and tripping on your own feet soon after, shakily, you adjust your posture and sat at the concrete for a few moments, trying to gather yourself but desperately failing, "I didn't… I didn't ask to be born too, you know?" You murmured to yourself bitterly.

You let it all out, it shouldn't have hurt to be called a mistake. You were an adult already for crying out loud! Yet when they toss that word around like it was nothing especially at that wedding, you feel like you're eight years old again and you're hearing your own mother curse at you for being born into this world, the harsh words she said were as clear as the day, "if you probably hadn't been born, we would've been happier. We'd have better lives, Y/N. So don't go around and cry and think you got it bad, you hear me? Your sadness is nothing compared to ours. It's nothing, Y/N. So stop being ungrateful."

You ended up at the frat house that night, people would occasionally glance at your disheveled state but you just downed the alcohol, ignoring their stares as usual  and when you get a text from your mother asking why you left the wedding so early in such a manner, you feel the pent-up emotions bubbling within you again. 

Blocking her number and taking one last swig of the cheap vodka in your hands, you head up to one of the rooms upstairs. You hold it all in well, you don't want to showcase such things to strangers.You feel the alcohol and emotion about to hit you when you open a door that you thought would be your safe space for the next ten minutes but you're immediately greeted by two people on the bed, ready to hit it off and have a good time.

"O-Oh sorry… I-Wrong room...” you stammered, lips quivering and small tears escaping since you couldn't hold it in anymore.You immediately bolted out the door, So much for sobering up and crying by yourself for ten minutes, you might as well call Daiki, maybe he was available-

“Hey! Y/N!” a very familiar and a very unexpected voice calls out your name on the quiet street.

You hesitantly turn only to find your project partner and classmate standing there, a bit out of breath as if he had just squeezed through the very crowded party in a hurry, you're confused by his actions. You weren’t exactly close? What was he doing?

“Hey.” he softly says, taking out a handkerchief from his pocket to hand it to you. You hesitantly look at it and take it from his grasp as you try to get rid of the runny mascara. You're taken aback by his kind actions so far, although he had always been nice and tried to make conversations with you, you weren’t exactly very participative and it had always been one-sided on his part. 

When he suddenly stopped talking to you recently, you didn’t bother to initiate anymore because you didn’t want to get more involved with people like him.  It’s not like he was a bad person, per say, he just had such a loud presence that made everyone stop and stare. You weren’t exactly a big fan of those kinds of people (save for daiki since you grew up with him)

“Come on, Y/N.” the blonde sighs, taking off his jacket to place it on you, “Let's take you home.”

"You don't have to."

"You look like shit, Y/N. I’m not takin' no for an answer" Atsumu points out forwardly, "Actually, before we head home lets disinfect that wound, yeah?"

"Miya-san, I-" you tried to tell him you were fine but he didn’t seem to be having it.

"Atsumu." He corrects, despite his forwardness and brash attitude, you know he means well, "You let me call you by your first name so please don't call me Miya-san, sounds fuckin weird coming from ya."

You're thankful that he doesn't pry or ask questions about why you looked like this. He just mumbles throughout your whole journey that you shouldn't wear heels when you can't even walk on them.You also start to notice the slight accent from his tone when he got annoyed by your insistence that you were alright, you had always thought that he was a city boy with the way he carried himself.

When you arrive at the drugstore, he pays for the necessities himself despite you protesting again and even buys you a sugar-free treat on top of that, "You said you were diabetic one time." He shrugs off as he lets you sit on the concrete steps.

“Oh,” You faltered, “You remembered.”

“It’s one of the few things you said. You don’t talk to me that much so it's not hard to remember the things you say.”

“Sorry.” You tried to apologize, brows furrowed in deep thought and the only reply you got was a gleeful laughter from the blonde setter.

“You don’t really mean that do you?” he observed but he didn't look insulted by it at all, instead he seemed amused by it, “Don’t sweat it, Y/N. My twin told me I could be an annoying shit at times.”

“No,” you mused, “Not at all, you’re not annoying.”

Atsumu stares at you right in the eye, his corners crinkling just a bit as the amused smile never leaves his features, you’re starting to like it when you see him smile that way, it reminded you a lot of the youth you craved for, the problematic-free youth that you wanted and wished, “Is it safe to say that you don’t mind my company?” he guessed.

“Well, you’re here now and I haven’t left you.” 

He doesn’t reply,  instead he bends down to your level and takes the antiseptic and band-aids from your hands. Before you could object, the setter dabs it on your wound and as you seethe quietly in pain, he blows on it. You’re getting more and more perplexed by his actions tonight especially with the words he says next, “I may not be close with you to know what happened tonight but I hope I made you feel a little bit better, Y/N.” 

The next time you see the professional volleyball player is at work,You’re tasked to send out some documents to your boss again and it just so happens they’re wrapping up the shoot for the advertisement at the studio.

Something’s different now. 

After your little talk with him at the terrace, the air around you doesn’t feel tight, your anxiety around him seems to decrease, and your feet doesn’t get cold anymore. Of course, Inunaki would throw in a jab or insult but you took it like a good sport and didn’t bother with him.

“Ah, L/N-san! How are the boys?” Hinata jumps up and down excitedly as he sees you enter the studio, you still couldn’t get used to this big (small) bundle of energy.

“They’re doing fine, Hinata-san.” 

“Oho, L/N-san, you’re looking better these days.” Inunaki teased, you gave him a brief nod and just ignored the jab, Atsumu slaps his seniors back in retaliation, “You’re not the one she broke up with Inu-san.” he joked, “Hey L/N-san.”

“Miya-san.” You greeted.

“Does Yuuto still want to skewer me like a kebab?”

“He feels sad that he wasn’t able to say sorry to you before you left.” You replied, a hint of amusement laced on your tone as you recalled Yuuto frowning on the dinner table the night before because Sugawara had informed the club members that Hinata and Atsumu wouldn’t be visiting as much because training was about to start.

“Shame, wanted to see that brat say sorry too.” He let out a grin, your conversation is cut short though when a new presence joins the room.

“Oh, Riku-chan!” Inunaki calls out.

You lick your dry lips as you see the very beautiful and tall raven-haired woman approach you, wow, Miya Atsumu outdid himself with this one. You recalled her being on Vogue magazine once and on tv a few times as a fashion model of an underwear brand.

“Oh, hey babe.” Atsumu greets, you note how stiff he became. He probably thought this would be an uncomfortable situation. The woman, unlike you, was very open with her affection. She gave him a brief kiss on his jaw.

Hinata greets her and you’re left wondering if you should excuse yourself before you could make Atsumu more uncomfortable by your presence but Inunaki, being an asshole, decides to make the choice for you, “L/N-san, this is Miyazaki Riku! I’m sure you know her, she’s a supermodel!” he introduces you to her.

“Good day.” You greet the model.

She tilts her head slightly, “Have we met before? You look very familiar.”

“She was my kohai back in Uni and Atsumu’s classmate!” Inunaki grins, patting your back, you hold back a glare since you didn’t want to make it more awkward than it was.

“Oh?” she chirped, immediately letting go of Atsumu’s hand, she grabbed onto yours, “What was he like? I bet he was so cool and chic back then too!”

Chic and Cool?

Memories of a rather clumsy and corny Miya Atsumu in college slowly wormed its way to your head and out of nowhere, you burst into a low chuckle. Inunaki was startled by the sudden reaction and Atsumu feels his insides mush up when he hears that very rare sound, “Yeah,” you croaked, shortly after recovering from your small laugh, “Definitely chic and cool.”

“That’s so cool! I definitely want to hear stories about you back in college, baby!”

“Maybe some other time,” you voice is back to its smooth and cool tone, realizing that you needed to leave from this uncomfortable conversation and start your job, “I have to finish up my work here and get home early.”

“That’s a shame, I could definitely tell you guys were close.” a frown tugs her lips as she notices how quick you were to say goodbye to her, “Bye, L/N-san!”

After that rather dry and one-sided enthusiastic conversation, you finish your work quickly and Daiki messages you just in time that he and the boys would pick you up, you say your goodbyes to your director, the staff, and the volleyball team. You don’t notice the lingering gaze of Atsumu as you left nor do you notice Inunaki telling him that he’s got his girlfriend right in front of him and he shouldn’t look your way.

They shortly wrap up right after and they’re ready to go home. After deciding that they’d all grab a good meal together (much to sakusa’s dismay), Atsumu feels his mood lighten up as they exit the studio to see you standing there along with Yuuto, unwrapping his onigiri. As he’s about to call the brat to talk to him and even drop in to say hi to you, he sees a familiar tall figure emerge from the convenience store with Youta in his arms.

The blonde decides against it.

“...You always had trouble expressing yourself naturally to people after all.”

He watches the interaction from afar and notes how easy it was for the man to interact with you, he even catches on an amused smirk from you as the man tries to tell you a joke, “Is that L/N-san?” he hears Riku ask, “I didn’t know she had a family, that’s so cute!”

Atsumu doesn’t really know what to say as he watches the domestic scene unfold in front of him, he was trying to move on, wasn’t he? Yet why can’t he look away? 

“Baby? You alright there? You’ve been staring at the empty space for a while.” Riku calls out, sounding a bit worried as she snaps him out of his daze. You were already gone, probably far off with that scrub and the brats.

“I’m good.” he tried to affirm himself, wishing it was true, “I’m good.”

taglist [closed]

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@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @differentballooncollection @keniloveshaikyuu @allysasteaparty  [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[the-moon-prince]

The Last Of us~Kurapika x Reader ~Chapter III

 AN: Hi my lovely fellows!

I finished the third chapter! Made with love and care for your enjoyment. I know this one is shorter, and I'm sorry. But I trust you will like it despite that detail! I made it extra fluffy, after the angst of the anterior, we all deserve a sweet.

I wish you a pleasant read, and I hope you’ll enjoy the new chapter of my story.  (Chapter I) (Chapter II) (Chapter IV coming soon!)

Paring: Kurapika Kurta x GN! Reader

Word count: 2 111

TW: None!^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was clear something changed in Kurapika after that night. It didn't go unnoticed by Melody. She noticed in the rhythm of Kurapika's heart that the man's grief was lighter. Not to mention discreet short glances the young man sometimes gave (Y/n) when they were in the same room or how he tended to stay closer to them. Kurapika's heart longed in the days when (Y/n) was not at the Nostrade mansion. 

And for Kurapika? He was neither oblivious of that change. He taught about how (Y/n) would serve him tea or coffee each time they did for themselves. He noticed the characteristic small manias no one else appeared to remark about (Y/n); like the silly way they stood with their hands in front of their chest when nervous, they touched their hair when they were concentrating on their work. Or even their nervousness around crowds. Despite the warmth that thoughts about (Y/n) gave him, they also filled him with doubts and fear. That person saw a side of him that very few had seen. On one hand, it made him feel less lonely, and he shared the burden of his soul with someone who, seemingly, comprehended him. On the other, it was his ugliest side. Don't get me wrong, at no point did he believe his cause was erroneous. It was the fear of lowering his defenses further, which had allowed him to survive so far, to at the end losing someone dear again.

There laid the dilemma. 

~

On Saturday evening, as was customary (Y/n) went to "keep her company"-as Neon referred to her therapy. Neon, her bodyguards, and (Y/n) were in the girl's room; while she just played with her stuffed animals. Neon being herself, talked a lot about her pastimes and trifles. And then it happened. The trigger pulled. "You know, (Y/n) you're dumb sometimes." Neon said directly in the face of the mentioned. Kurapika did not appreciate the insult to his "darling"- Being his boss he couldn't face Neon directly nor punch her, although the desire was not lacking. In the end, Kurapika ended up saying, with a slightly irritated tone, sincerely "Neon, it's time for the pause, we'll all go take a breath" Without Neon giving any value to the subject, she permitted everyone to go. (Y/n) sticking to their routine, headed to the employee kitchen to prepare coffee, and began to boil water. Kurapika also followed, aspiring somehow to comfort them-only something lost in how- stated "That was rude. Are you upset?"

(Y/n) turned to see him, inclined their head, smiled, and denied "No at all! She's right. When I was a child, someone throws a rock at my head, and I ended up like this." - responded teasing, possibly to relieve Kurapika's worries- "Plus, it's not her fault... I mean... she said it, but she's entirely unaware of the impact of her actions on others... Not because she's mean, I'm not trying to be impolite."- they added, gaining a disconcerted look from Kurapika.-"Neon has a dissociative disorder. She has lived in her distorted bubble all her life. Consequently, she disconnected from the consequences that her actions may have!"- (Y/ n) explained excitedly to Kurapika. Their enthusiasm, more than their tone of voice, was also reflected in small movements that (Y / n) made with its hands. Inadvertently, Kurapika smiled, considering their enthusiasm adorable. To finally recognize how charming (Y/n) was to him. 

~

Kurapika was sure he wanted to decide the whole condition with (Y / n), but he was still confused about what to do. He inferred that the wisest choice was to request advice. Next, he led towards the only other person he recognized as his friend in that place. Melody knew that Kurapika was young and inexperienced after all.

"I'm unsure about what to do, Melody. They've greatly helped me with something crucial to me, and I'm appreciative. (Y/n) is charming to me. They're so patient, thoughtful, and kind. I enjoy their company.

But what if it's not worth the trouble? It's illogical; we have known each other for roughly three months. They might not accept it or disappear. I can't permit myself to get disturbed." -Kurapika voiced all the insecurities he had. After a moment of meditation, Melody replied.

"I believe you like them. (Y/n) appears to make you happy, that's true. When they helped you, did they judge you, did they left?"-Melody tried to make Kurapika question his insecurities.

"Not at all; they were pretty reliable."-Kurapika answered, staring away. Melody gave him a sweet smile and continued-"If they proved themselves trustworthy, they merit a chance. I think you deserve to allow yourself a chance. I believe it will do good for you."

"Thank you, Melody." And he returned a sincere smile.

Likewise, Kurapika decided to take his chance. 

~

Already 7:30 pm and the workers of the Nostrade house were leaving. (Y/n) was preparing their bag when they felt a slight touch on the shoulder. Kurapika quickly took a step backward when (Y/n) instinctively shrunk in surprise at his touch. They promptly looked at Kurapika, who cleared his throat before speaking. "(Y/n) do you care to stay a little longer. I require to tell you something."

The mentioned one gave their sign smile as they hummed and nodded-"Sure!"

"Accompany me to the kitchen please, it will be quieter." request (Y/n) fulfilled. Already in the empty room, Kurapika took a deep breath. So many details made him nervous at the minute. He doubted himself. He had no idea how to approach sentimental topics.

(Y/n) 's gaze was on him, but without meeting his eyes. Which caused him to not decipher what they were thinking. He had no idea if they would reciprocate, get angry, or react. If there was something that intrigued and delighted Kurapika, was (Y/n)'s way of being. For him, it was mysterious and transparent at the same time. Genuine but selective in what they showed. And he wanted to ascertain more.

"(Y/n), since our time together has been relatively short, this may seem illogical to you. However, for me, it has been remarkably important and enjoyable. So I reasoned: I like you." 

(Y/n) still without seeing him in the eyes and without changing their smile, blinked a pair of times and sang, tilting their head "Thank you! I like you too; you're quite nice as well!"- Maybe they were a bit foolish after all...

"No, no! It's not that... I mean... I also do like you. I alluded to like you romantically." the young man amed to the person in front of him. Whose eyes widened making and making an O with its mouth. And while a flush creeped their cheeks , also rectified. "I do... too... like you romantically."-(Y/n) proceeded to put a hand on their forehead, the face visibly darker and embarrassed, to tremble-"I... That is much more logical... I am very sorry...I'm truly ashamed. I'm not good at those subjects!"

As (Y/n) felt bad, Kurapika also felt bad. He raised his hands, shaking them and little in denial "It's alright, it's alright. Worry not!" It was an embarrassing disaster. But they were a disaster together.

After some shame whines, (Y/n) sigh and continued "In this case, please allow me to invite you to morning tea tomorrow. It's the last I can do. I beg you." In an attempt to not make things more awkward, Kurapika quickly but joyfully added -"It would be splendid!"- to obtain a -"Marvelous!"- from his newly obtained sweetheart. They both went home ashamed. If something is clear, it is that neither of them stopped thinking about that event throughout the night. Also that the more they reflected on it, the more fortunate they felt.

~

The date was settled! The sole issue was that, due to the embarrassment, they both forgot to arrange an hour. And they both felt ridiculous. 

Kurapika wondered what time would be proper to present, to ultimately arrive at 9:30 a.m. While (Y/n) was waiting for him since 8:30, worried they were going to be late. Since (Y/n) always wore some kind of embroidered floral ornament, Kurapika assumed they liked flowers. And showed up with a bouquet, plus it was the first time (Y/n) saw him with his traditional Kurta clothing.

"Good morning (Y/n). I bring you these, I hope they'll be of your taste." Kurapika greeted, handling the flowers. The (h/c) gladly accepted them as they made a sign to come in.

"Greeting Kurapika! They're splendid. Please come in and get comfortable." they told. Kurapika sat on the couch, and (Y/n) arrived with two cups, a teapot, and a kettle. "Do you prefer tea or coffee?" 

"Tea, please." followed by the answer, (Y/n) poured tea into the cups and sat next to Kurapika. As if it were a silent understanding, neither mentioned anything regarding the incident on the schedule.

"I like your clothes. They are gorgeous!"- a little remark that touched the boy, who muttered a gentle -"thank you." Kurapika reflected a lot about his choice to confess, but he never repented it. The warmth he felt in that moment was pure for him. 

(Y/n) raised his hands to their chest and, fidgeting with their fingers, modestly asked -"I apologize if my inquiring is stupid, but... are we lovers?"- They had their gaze concentrated in their hands. The first thing that people usually think of when meeting (Y/n) is that they were a serious, refined, and intelligent character. This was partially true, but it had a somewhat childish side, more intimate, and it was what Kurapika was witnessing at the time.

"Naturally," he answered.

"I'm sorry if I don't fulfill your expectation for me. You are the initial lover I have. In fact, also my first friend." Despite being a relatively sad statement, (Y/n) had their grin stamped on their inclined face. That smile. That it always seemed the same regardless of the emotion her voice conveyed, with certain narrow exceptions. Kurapika felt the obligation to if they were blue, comfort (Y/n). Just like they had done. 

"I discerned that you invariably smile, and the smile is identical. Can I request an explanation?" He asked, knowing what his goal was. His partner was a bit uncomfortable with the question and shrugging their shoulders uttered.

 "It's quite complex to elucidate... I have some challenges expressing emotions to others. Not because they are not explicit to me.  Just my facial expressions don't mirror my sentiments.

Regularly, in addition to smiling, I can take a serious aspect. It does not cause me much trouble, since people consider me as someone friendly- not that I am not. Though may cause others to judge me uncanny. I'm sorry if it's the case." 

"Do not apologize. It doesn't appear eerie to me." Kurapika assured with a sweet smile. (Y/n) looked him in the eye again, showing their happiness in their distinctive way.

"You are a kind person, thank you." following their remark, the room fell into a comfortable silence. Kurapika and (Y/n) were two shy souls enjoying each other's company. Although everything happening was alien to both of them, they appreciated it.

They needed a little kindness and company, which they seemed to have finally gotten.

Who could have guessed? Neon did something helpful for once!

[snowydaffodils]

Exhilarating

1741 words | 3rd Person POV

Another short fluff - this time with Seventeen's Josh!

Synopsis: Everything was dull and boring, but when she entered the room, she was like a breath of fresh air.

---

Despite the well designed interior and the fancy vases that decorated the room, it didn't push away the feeling of unfamiliarity and solitude that Joshua had felt since he arrived - or at the very least became aware of his surroundings. He didn't feel the isolation as much when he first came, because his vision (and memory) was blurry. He remembered people talking around him, and he remembered being taken from one place to another, but he didn't remember what they were saying exactly, or where they brought him to. When he came to, they told him he collapsed on pre-recording, and they had to immediately bring him to the hospital.

Joshua sighed. While the room was probably one of the most luxurious ones he'd been in, there was an odd unsettling feeling that disturbed him as he lay there, alone. It didn't help that he was wearing hospital clothes instead of his own and also that he was stuck to an IV drip. Just in between the door and floor, he saw shadows that stood tensely beyond his room, and he could guess them as the assigned security for him - just in case one of those sasaengs reached him somehow.

With the window shutters being closed down, it further elongated his feeling of being boxed in, as Vernon would've phrased it. His members were off to another schedule that he later would have to make up for, so nobody would be on the group chat. He would've called his mom to push away the loneliness, but it would have been barely dawn in Los Angeles.

The ceiling, once a comfortable target to place his sights on, slowly grew dull and boring, so he moved to lay sideways instead, facing the door. It was then when he heard noises and steps coming towards his direction, and the shadows under the door moved around for the first time.

His eyes perked up to see who was coming, hoping it would be his manager, or one of the members who finished their schedules early and came to see him. Instead of them, a white coat caught his eyes, the person in it fiddling with the notes she was holding as she entered the room.

"Mr. Hong, right?" she smiled, pulling up her glasses as she approached him. "Hong Jisoo."

The way she called him was cheerful and perky, and it brought a different light to enter the room. It suddenly didn't seem so sullen, and for that, Joshua was happy she entered, whoever she may be.

"Yes?" he managed, as he pulled himself up to sit straight and look at her properly.

"Good morning," she cheered, and he noticed that she was looking directly into his eyes. While he was used to direct eye-contact in America, Koreans tend to deem that action impolite, so he didn't really expected it. Even so, he had always thought of eye contact as an important element in communicating - it shows just how much attention you were getting from the other person. Her eyes seemed bright as he returned the contact, and the mere fact that they were looking into each other's eyes played a huge part in lightening up the room.

"Morning," Joshua replied, trying to smile back as politely as he could, despite the heaviness of his head while keeping his body upright.

"Oh, you shouldn't move too much!" she said upon seeing him. "You were running a high fever, on top of that you were dehydrated and overworked, too. Your temperature went down slightly, but you're still in a feverish range," she said quickly, adjusting the small tube that was connected to his arm.

"I feel better, though," Joshua reasoned, giving the girl a small smile to support his subjective argument. She puffed and blew the little bangs annoying her eyes away and placed her hands on her hips.

"Better doesn't equal good enough," she said, the look in her eyes clearly opposing his attempts to be let go. "Besides, take this opportunity to actually rest, okay? Its a big fancy room with fancy lighting, a TV and good speakers, and we'll get you food in a moment. You can't argue that this is not heaven," she rambled, pointing at his surroundings.

Joshua laughed, he had never met a doctor like this one. "You have a point," he said. "But, do you think you can move me to another room? Preferably with people?"

She blinked. "You want to switch rooms?"

Joshua looked around, there was a nurse standing right behind this doctor girl, and his security guard had stepped inside since the girl entered. They all looked at him weird and obviously against the idea, so he just nodded timidly and sighed.

"Its just that," the girl waited for his response patiently, her hands back on her the edge of his bed and the other on her notes. Joshua continued, unsure of himself as well. "It gets too quiet, and uh, silence gets pretty uncomfortable for me."

She gave him one look and spared a few seconds for her thoughts before she returned him with a reply. "Well, your manager told me its best you're not even seen by anyone at all, for your safety."

Of course he did. Joshua didn't doubt that, and he understood those orders completely, so he just nodded, accepting defeat. Worth a try though.

But she wasn't quite finished. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, checked her screen for a while before coming back to him. "I can stay with you and chat if it helps," she grinned. "People call me a chatterbox, so why not put it to good use, right?"

"Are you not busy?" Joshua asked, pretty set aback by her suggestion, but was not against it.

She shook her head, swaying her bangs left and right before giving him a reassuring smile. "Not if nobody's calling for me. You're actually free to go after this drip," she points at the hanging liquid with the notes on her hand, "All you have to do is wait for your manager to pick you up. After all, your fever did go down, and we'll give you acetaminophens to take. What you really need is food and rest."

While the rest of the people in the room looked at her weirdly at her offer to be a chatterbox, she paid no mind to it and grabbed herself a chair to sit on by Joshua's bed. Joshua, on the other hand, just nodded numbly, unsure of what kind of reaction he should give, or what words to say. He had no reason to refuse, though, so he said nothing.

"You guys can go," she dismissed the nurses who followed immediately, and the security guard simply eyed her for a few seconds before returning to his post. She was the assigned doctor, after all, he couldn't (and shouldn't) restrict her from her patient.

Once they all left, Joshua blurted the question that had been sitting on the tip of his tongue. "So, do you stay to chat with all the patients you meet?"

She settled in her seat and gave him an ambiguous smile - one Joshua understood to not be completely genuine, but wasn't fake either. "Just the ones that seem particularly lonely."

"And," Joshua paused, picking his words carefully. "You don't have other lonely patients?"

She chuckled. Pressing her fist on her cheeks, she rephrased his question for him, "You mean why aren't I busy treating other patients?" The question stunned him for a while. He didn't expect her to be that direct, especially to her patient; but to be honest, he didn't mind it one bit.

Usually, when this kind of situation happened - where a conversation turned too straightforward for him to handle, Joshua would've chuckled awkwardly and politely, and just nodded or something to move on from the discomfort. But this time, he didn't know if it was because his head was still revolving, or if it was because he'd spent too much time with Jeonghan, but he didn't take the polite route and just directly returned her question with another one. He simply nodded. "Yeah, sure, if you care to tell?"

The response wasn't one she was used to receiving, so she was a bit flustered at the blunt exchange for a few seconds. "Huh," she huffed, but smiled. "I guess I'm assigned to do the extra stuff. Nobody wants to talk to patients and their guardians if its nothing medical related. Doctors are awkward that way. They prefer to research, write papers, and explore surgeries. And so they pushed me here," she gestured to the room around her. "To the VIP wards."

Before Joshua could take offense into her words, she disclaimed, "Not that you're 'extra stuff', but you must understand that some VIP patients can be," she gave him an awry grin, one that was indicating something negative, as she searched for the right word. She didn't seem to find one, but eventually settled with the description: "Exhilarating," which she worded with a shoulder shrug, indicating that it wasn't the correct word at all.

Joshua just laughed at her antics, wondering if the medical dramas about VIP patients actually happen in real life that she would describe them that way. "Would you say I'm - well - exhilarating, then?"

At this point, her smile was no longer ambiguous. Looking like she was in deep thought, she answered, "You're a different kind of exhilarating." Her dimples further accentuated the honesty in her smile. "I mean, obviously, you're well aware that you have got the looks," she reasoned, not at all embarrassed to compliment him, which was different for a change - but a good different.

"That I do," Joshua grinned. He was an idol, after all, he should be confident in his visuals.

"And you're young - not many VIPs are as young," she continued, still thinking of more answers. "And most people would've reprimanded me for speaking so casually and bluntly to a patient about her work. They'd say I was rude."

Joshua snickered. "Should I, then? Reprimand you, I mean?"

Her eyes rounded at his statement, and then she suddenly clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "I would reaaally, reaaaally appreciate it if you don't."

He laughed. This girl is really something.

"What was your name, again? Can I call you by name?" Joshua asked, visibly more comfortable.

And she returned him with another ambiguous smile.

---

[salexectrian-heir]

ragged edges and sharp teeth

Pairing: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist

Fandom: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal

Rating: M

Word Count: 3,305

Tags: Hurt/No Comfort, Canon Universe, Implied Sexual Content, Non-Consensual Platonic Affection, References to Underage Drinking, Referenced/Implied Suicide (Goro’s Mother), References to Depression, The six times someone kisses Goro Akechi, and the one time Goro Akechi kisses someone, Shuake Week 2020

Summary:

But in truth, in reality, Goro is selfish. Always will be. He is all ragged edges and sharp teeth, he is rough and all consuming and unrelenting.

And ruining Akira is perhaps his most selfish desire of all.

Shuake Week 2020: Free Day (a six and one prompt)

i. his mother

Goro is six years old and he is crying.

The water is scalding against his skin but that he doesn’t quite mind. He tries to fight the tears but they fall despite his brave efforts to not let them roll down his cheeks. Normally, he likes this place. The bathhouse is usually calm and comforting, and feels a little bit like an adventure when he’s sent here on his own. But tonight, he knows something is wrong .

One of her “ friends ” is over. One of the many he doesn’t like. His mother had that look on her face when she ushered him outside, the kind of look that made him want to stay rooted to the spot, clinging to her leg and begging to not be sent away.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been in this place, time almost doesn’t feel real in the bath. But it’s been long enough for his fingers and toes to prune, for his tears to have (finally) run out, and everyone else to have left. He runs his wrinkled fingertips over the tiles of the tub that are smooth and sleek, and wonders if anyone would come looking for him if he stayed in the water all night.

Probably not.

He sinks another few centimeters so that the water reaches his chin, and thinks about staying.

But he would miss his mother too much, and his eyes sting immensely, and all he wants is to fall asleep with her curled up next to him on his futon. He wouldn’t even mind if she hogged all the covers. It would be enough to know she was with him. That he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

He fumbles his way out of the tub and into his night clothes with clumsy, pruned fingers. The street is empty as he walks back to the complex where he and his mother live. The door is unlocked, but he vigilantly locks it behind him like she taught him. She must have forgotten. Again. But that’s okay! Because Goro can reach the top lock now and knows she must be tired, that’s all.

There are no lights on except for the glare from TV, a forgotten channel making ambient noise he barely notices. He creeps towards her bedroom and slides the door aside to find it empty, to his relief. No strangers left to linger in the space he covets. The next place he knows to check is the bathroom, which is where he finds her laying on the ground. Her head lifts at the noise and her eyes widen when she sees he’s standing in the doorway.

“Go-chan?”

He’s seen his mother like this before. He knows she’s hurting but doesn’t know why (a much older Goro would understand and curse himself for not noticing sooner. But he was six, and a six year old wouldn’t know what to do. He would blame himself anway.). He lays down beside her on the floor and she tucks him underneath her chin. He pretends he doesn’t hear her cry, pretends that he hadn’t just been crying himself, and buries his face in her neck. Her hair is damp but smells like home, floral and fresh in the way that makes his heart ache. He is grateful it's not the lingering scent of cigarettes and sweat that sometimes would stain her skin in ways that would make his stomach churn.

He thinks she’ll be okay this time when he feels a tender kiss on the top of his head, on his temple, on his cheek when she finally pries him away from her throat.

He thinks she’ll be okay when she whispers I love you , against his forehead as she carries him into his room, and helps him get ready for bed.

He thinks she’ll be okay when she leaves a chaste kiss on his lips when they are finally curled up on his futon together, as she brushes away the tears that somehow, some way, had found themselves running down his puffy face again.

But he doesn’t hear her when she says I’m sorry with soft lips pressed to his damp eyelids. After his fingers have woven into the locks of her hair like a lifeline.

Because Goro is already half asleep, and doesn’t have the energy to kiss her goodnight.

ii. a relative

Goro is nine years old and he is numb.

It’s freezing outside and no one thought to give him a heavier jacket. So he stands there shivering, hands fisted under his armpits as he tries to breathe normally. The air burns his lungs each time he takes a hiccuping breath, and wishes more than anything that someone would wake him up. Because this has to be a dream. A cruel one.

Then someone grabs his face and kisses his cheek, starling him out of the haze that had settled upon him like a wet blanket. They had meant it to be a comforting gesture he would come to realize much later in his life, but his traumatized nine year old brain couldn’t handle it and he violently recoils.

The shove isn’t strong enough to deter this woman… an aunt? A great aunt? A friend of his mother? Goro doesn’t know. He’s never met her before. Or maybe he has? If so, she clearly wasn’t important enough to remember or leave an impact on his life before this moment.

All he knows is they violated his space and as he remembers what his mother--he chokes on the protest that formed on his lips as he repeatedly pushes himself farther from the person trying to hold onto him--he remembers what his mother had always told him.

“ Don’t let anybody touch you unless you want them to .”

He holds those words close to his heart, hoping the punches he’s throwing get his message across.

He didn’t want to be touched by anyone.

Anger bubbles up from somewhere in his gut. Why didn’t his mother do the same when all those “friends” touched her when she didn’t want them too? Why couldn’t she be strong enough? Why wasn’t he strong enough to protect her ?

Why wasn’t he enough?

Bile rises in his throat when he finally breaks the hold of the hands that were gripping his chin, his elbow... blatantly ignoring the affronted scoffs and whispers of what a disgrace, such a rude child, that circled in the wake of his outburst.

The only person he wants holding him is his mother.

But she is six feet under the dirt at his feet, and won’t ever be able to hold him again.

iii. a girl in the orphanage

Goro is eleven and is taken completely by surprise.

One moment he is huddled around a board game in his room with a classmate, and the next she is suddenly leaning into his personal space, pushing her face into his. His eyes go wide as he braces himself on the edge of the desk so as not to fall out of his seat.

He never really thought about kissing girls before it happened, and knew immediately after that he probably would never think about kissing girls again.

His body reacts faster than his brain and shoves her off. She gasps and stumbles back, her expression twisting in confusion at his rejection.

“Why,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “did you do that?”

“Because I like you, and I wanted to kiss you…did you not like it?

He had never been kissed like that before. He thought first kisses were supposed to feel special. But this...felt empty. And bluntly says as much to her.

She looks at him like he had slapped her across the face. “I-I thought...you liked me back?”

“What gave you that idea?”

Guilt only starts to settle in his gut when he sees the tears welling up in her eyes just before she mutters something akin to an apology and bolts out of his room.

He glares at the spot she had been standing.The longer he thinks about it, the angrier and more justified Goro feels. He doesn’t regret telling her the truth but… he drops his head on his arms.

He can’t even make friends right. Maybe he really was broken, like all the other kids say he is.

She gets adopted two days later.

He doubts she even remembers that kiss.

iv. a hook up

Goro is seventeen and it's a means to an end.

Goro hates these events, but has to attend to keep up airs with Shido and his... associates . To be available for Shido to both dangle in front of and threaten his inner circle with. The fact Goro fits in with them at all makes his skin crawl, and he drowns the urge to peel it off with the complimentary wine he’s (illegally) being served. It’s the least offensive crime he’s committed by a landslide.

Goro just needs to be seen and not heard. To both impress and intimidate. And it works every time.

But tonight, it works perhaps a little too well. Or Goro is a little too drunk to care anymore, and wants to get something, anything out of this hell he’s stuck in. Which is how he finds himself pressed up against a bathroom door by the son of some sycophant politician dragged along by his father hoping to get in Shido’s good graces.

The boy is his age, maybe a little older. Far too eager, excited, and sloppy. He kisses Goro hastily, before Goro could stop him (it’s not what they're in this bathroom for, and they both know it). The boy’s mouth is clumsy, and the kiss is full of inexperienced tongue and tastes of the sickly sweet moscato they’ve been chasing. When the boy tries to deepen the kiss, Goro takes a fistfull of this boy’s hair and yanks. It earns him a yelp.

Glaring down at him, Goro simply states, “On your knees.”

And the boy obeys without a second thought.

The boy doesn’t like him . He likes the image he carefully manufactured to be desirable. Even if the boy claims he went down on the Detetive Prince in a bathroom in some fancier hotel in Shinjuku, no one will believe him.

Back at his apartment, Goro slams down the mug of tea he had made to wash out the taste of the boy from the party. If that boy really knew what Goro kept buried underneath the layers and layers of masks he wore, what he was truly capable of, he would run away screaming.

But it doesn’t matter, it’s not like the boy’s affection was really for Goro . And Goro held none for the boy. It means nothing. A release, an excuse to feel something other than seething rage for a few minutes. A pitiable excuse for human connection Goro so desperately craved. How pathetic.

Goro begins to laugh.

And when his manic laughter breaks into sobs he can’t quite tell.

v. his rival

Goro is eighteen and it stops his entire world.

Stepping out of the Jazz Jin, Goro is quickly enveloped by the brisk November chill that finally settled itself in the streets of Kichijoji. It seeps through his clothes and makes him shiver, craving the warmth and atmosphere of the lounge they just left.

He shouldn’t even be here with Akira. Against his better judgment, Goro had reached out, invited him here one last time before…

Akira ducks around him as the door shuts, effectively cutting off the only exit out into the street.

“Akechi, can I ask you a question?”

Goro raises a brow. “I suppose.”

Akira removes his hands from his pockets, and suddenly seems unsure of what to do with them. Turning them over and flexing his fingers as he says, “Um, I’ll need you to close your eyes first.”

“Akira, we don’t have time for games,” Goro chides in that manufactured plastic tone of voice the Prince uses to let his fans down easy.

(Thinking Akira will probably try to shove some stupid trinket in his hands like last time. And Goro will have to repeatedly decline said trinket until Akira inevitably shoves it in his pocket while he’s not looking and only for Goro to find it later when he takes off his coat back at his apartment).

A soft laugh pulls him back to the present. And then, “Indulge me, detective . Please?”

Maybe it was the poorly disguised desperation hidden in Akira’s voice that made him cave to the delinquent’s whim, or Goro’s realization that this was perhaps the last time he would ever get to feel like a normal teenager before...  

Goro rolls his eyes and gives in to Akira’s request with a sigh. “Alright.”

The sounds of Kichijoji’s nightlife are amplified when his eyes flutter shut. He becomes hyper aware of the cold clinging to his skin, the idle chatter of the passerby at the top of the stairs, milling about down the street.The welcoming scent of coffee that never seems to fade from Akira’s clothes.The sound of Akira stepping closer into his space.

Suddenly, alarms are going off in Goro’s brain as he register’s Akira’s hand cupping his cheek, skin to skin.

“May I?” Akira’s question is whispered so quietly, Goro thinks he feels it more than he hears it.

Goro swallows, unable to get his tongue to work to form words. It’s the first time anyone has ever asked Goro for his permission, for his consent, and he has no idea how to even voice how that makes him feel.

It’s blindsiding him.

A thumb traces over Goro’s bottom lip, and his eyes snap open. He’s peering right into irises of silver, sparkling from the string lights that hang around them in the stairwell of the Jazz Jin’s entryway.

“You said you would keep them closed,” Akira whispers, gaze dropping to where his thumb is still idling tracing Goro’s mouth.

Goro’s prolonged silence seems to unnerve Akira, for he begins to pull away. Without thinking, Goro’s hand shoots out and grabs the lapel’s of Akira’s coat, holding him in place. Goro wasn’t even aware he moved until Akira let out a small gasp.

“I never said that,” Goro murmurs, but his eyes fall shut anyway when Akira leans in again.

Akira’s lips are so soft, so delicate and gentle when he presses them against Goro’s mouth. They are everything Goro is not, and Goro is melting . It’s so much kinder than he deserves, far more genuine than Goro is even capable of being.

“To remember me by,” Akira breathes when Goro parts his lips to taste more of him, “since we agreed to stop seeing each other after this.”

Too soon the warmth from Akira’s mouth is gone, and so is the dark haired boy. Having assimilated into the shadows to leave Goro alone in that stairwell.

It changes everything and nothing at the same time.

Goro still puts a bullet in Akira’s brain two days later, but it's his own head that explodes.

vi. a kiss met halfway

Goro is still eighteen, and living on borrowed time.

“ Your life isn’t trivial! ”

Goro has never wanted to believe anything so badly before. But knows in the shell of his empty heart, that Akira is wrong.

That he’s just being a brainless, sentimental fool, giving Goro’s life more meaning than it ever had the right to have.

Yet the thief’s words echo in the recesses of his mind, with each step he takes away from Leblanc for them only resonate louder. By the time he reaches the main road, the words are deafening screams and he has to--has to--

Akira is just where he left him. Sitting there stupidly at the cafe counter with his face in his hands.

The door to Leblanc is ripped open. It shakes on its hinges as it absorbs the aftershocks of being slammed into the wall by the force of Goro’s hand. The jingle of the bell is drowned out by the roar of Akira’s voice in Goro’s ears.

Akira startles and whips his head in the direction of the noise. Goro can see the thief’s eyes are swollen and red, brimming with unshed tears as he pulls his hands away from his face. His mouth falls open, brows furrowed in shock or confusion, Goro isn’t keen on differentiating at the moment because he’s too busy closing the distance between them.

Goro is so sick of other people defining what his life is meant to be. So sick and tired of being manipulated, following orders like some kind of marionette on a string. And for nothing in the end. Because Goro is his own worst enemy the cards were stacked against him from the beginning.

So fuck it. Goro decides for the first time in a long time that he wants to be touched. To be held. To feel the weight of someone’s desire for him pressing in from all angles. He wants to drown himself in Akira until he can breathe nothing else.

And Akira meets him halfway.

They don’t speak of what they’re doing, as they tumble up the stairs to Akira’s room.

They do not name the desperate feeling they are chasing through each other’s clothes as they fall to the floor.

They refuse to acknowledge the truth that is passed between each other’s mouths, secrets they had kept buried beneath flesh now exposed.

But everything left unsaid hangs in the silent spaces between their bodies as they move as one.

+1 a kiss goodbye

Goro is (still) eighteen, and he is dying.

It takes less than a minute.

Goro does his best to keep the desperation out of his eyes but can’t keep it from his hands.

Hands that reach for Akira to roughly pull him into the helicopter after Maruki, who had been tossed aside like a ragdoll.

Goro drags the beaten and bloodied thief into his lap, and no one seems to pay them any attention, too focused on either watching the unconscious therapist in the back, the collapsing palace around them, or the brilliant white light they were heading for.

Akira goes to unhinge his helmet, and Goro lets him. It clatters to the ground, next to where Akira abandoned his own mask.

He lets Akira drag fingers drag across his chest, to travel up and bury themselves in his hair, to cradle the back of his head like the most precious treasure he’s ever laid hands on. So much of Goro yearned to be touched, and there was so little time.

Goro slides his own hands, still encased in clawed gauntlets, along Akira’s battered face. He uses the pads of his thumbs to trace the angle of Akira’s jaw as he crushes his mouth against Akira’s for the last time. Akira’s blood is sweet on his tongue.

For a split second, Goro wishes he could have been a stronger, more selfless man in his final moments. One who didn’t covet things that were never his ( would never be his ), or ruin the things he touches.

But in truth, in reality, Goro is selfish, always will be. He is all ragged edges, and sharp teeth, he is rough and all consuming and unrelenting. And ruining Akira is perhaps his most selfish desire of all.

Goro knows Akira deserves better, but Akira allows it willingly all the same. Letting Goro lay claim to everything Akira is, everything Akira could be for a moment. For a moment, it all belongs to Goro.

And in return, Akira takes everything from him. His revenge, his anger, his envy, his loneliness, his heart. Devouring what is left of Goro Akechi as the false reality shatters around them in a blaze of white light.

[marsbutterfly]

The Scientist’s Gamble - Part 2

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Summary: As the formation rides out, Hanji takes a moment to meet your eyes, and you smile at her. Today is going to be a win for humanity, you think to yourself. You could not be more wrong.

AO3 Version! | Wattpad Version!

After an hour or so peacefully riding your horses towards the forest, you begin to feel the floor shaking in the distance. Not long after, the first red flare is fired. A Titan. Thinking back on your knowledge acquired studying Titans with Hanji, you know it is a 5m from the way the ground is trembling - not tall enough that it will necessarily take more than a couple of Scouts to kill, but could still cause damage if it wasn't stopped in time.

You move your face to the right, enough so you can look at Hanji to see if this is the one she wants. She shakes her head - she doesn't want a regular titan. You know that that crazy look in her eyes can only mean one thing. She's after an Abnormal. Goosebumps travel up and down your body, and you reposition yourself on your horse to face forward once again. Without even realizing it, a smug smirk spreads across your face. This is going to be so fun!

"Reiner! - " you scream. Your throat hurts from the effort you put into the sound, yet you still prepare yourself to do it again.

" - I need you to ride to the center of the formation. Inform the Commander that if an Abnormal appears, bring it closer to us. Tell them they should not kill it unless absolutely necessary!"

"Of course," Reiner screams back, allowing his cloak to fall back against his shoulders. His blonde hair ruffles in the wind, a ridiculous smile plastered across his face, "but I'm just curious," he says, and you know exactly what's about to come out of his mouth before he says it as he yells, "Who the fuck put you in charge?"

Before you even have time to laugh at his stupid comeback, the beautiful brown haired scientist riding alongside you responds, "I did!"

Eyes wide, his lips scrunch up as he turns away to avoid eye contact with you and Hanji.

"Now go, Reiner!" Hanji says.

"Yes ma'am!", is all he says before he steers his horse left and rides out of sight. He doesn't give you the chance to say anything in response.

You can feel the laughter bubbling up in your chest, from deep in your throat to burst out of your mouth. You try to hold it in until the blonde soldier is out of sight, but you know he can hear you.

Tears form in your eyes as your stomach starts to hurt. You just can't keep it in. The look on Reiner's face is the funniest thing you've seen in a long while. Once you finally manage to slow down and take a deep breath to pull yourself together, you look over to Hanji to find she's been carefully watching you the whole time.

"Thank you for defending me!", you shout, flashing her the biggest smile you can manage.

"Of course! I'm not going to let anyone undermine you! You are my second in command right now! You know me better than anyone else! That's what makes you such an amazing assistant," her grin widens, "and an amazing friend!"

You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks once again, but before you can reply, you notice something in the corner of your eye.

It's a black flare.

You and Hanji lock eyes for a brief moment before you both let out an excited scream at the same time - "LET'S GO!"

.

You can see it now. The Titan is easily 7 meters tall, if not taller. It has blonde hair and brown eyes, and a relatively normally-proportioned body and facial features, but you notice it's walking with a strange limp. At its ankles, the Titan's feet were pointed in the opposite direction they should be. Yet, it runs ahead eagerly as if nothing is different. You've never even thought this was possible.

Perfect! You think to yourself.

You stand up on your horse and switch to your 3D maneuver gear. You shoot your grapples around the top of a tree branch and swing on top to land on your feet with a sense of balance that you're proud of. Multiple horses ride toward where you and the rest of the Scouts stand above them. The massive titan follows the Scouts closely, too close for anyone's comfort, but they're not giving up.

Once the monster is close enough, you and Hanji share a look before you run towards it, preparing yourselves to jump down on its shoulders, cut off its limbs, and strap it to the floor before it regenerates.

Data collected on previous missions showed that it takes approximately 4 minutes for its arms to regenerate, but it shouldn't take you that long to trap it. You're all extremely prepared for this, you've practiced for this and almost every other situation.

Now it's the time to prove you know what you're doing - except nothing could have prepared you for what came next.

The trap used to capture the titan is a fraction of a second late. You're already in the air, arms flung back in preparation to cut its underarm when you notice something is wrong.

Everything happens in slow motion as you see it's massive arm intercept the cables of your grapples, yanking you like a yo-yo across the trees. Your body collides against one of the many enormous trees surrounding you. The pain shoots all over your body. It is too intense, and your vision gets more clouded by the second. You could hear Hanji screaming your name, but you didn't stay conscious for much longer than that.

A few minutes pass by, but the damage caused by the titan makes it seem like much longer. You could see bodies all around you, at least 10, 15. Your comrades, your friends, dead because of a mistake out of your control.

Huh?  you think, and that's all that goes through your brain at moment. There is blood dripping down your face, and you're unable to tell if it's yours, the Titan's, or to one of the many bodies lying next to you.

A 5m titan wanders closer to you with every second, and somehow you manage to pull all the strength left in you. Your body is finally forced to sit up, despite all the pain, in your head, your bones, your heart.

"Why is this happening? This is not how today was supposed to go. We prepared for this expedition for weeks!" suddenly you stop talking. Your mind starts spinning as you desperately look amongst the pile of bodies, searching for one in particular.

"H-Hanji?" you manage to force out a whisper, but as soon as you take a deep breath, all the pain you were feeling, the grief for your fallen comrades, the rage towards titans, "HANJI!"

As you become more aware of your surroundings, the warm blood dripping down your face and the pain of your broken ribs are almost enough to make you stop fighting, but a small voice in the back of your head says: You need to find a way out of this forest and back home. You can't let the titans win!

You grab your blades and swing them with all your might, trying your hardest to keep the 5M Titan away for as long as you can until you have a plan. The truth is you just can't die now, but you also can't fight for much longer as you feel your body starting to cave in. The pain from your ribs is becoming unbearable, and your lungs feel like they will collapse at any moment. With every breath is getting harder to breathe. You want to keep fighting for longer, but in your condition, it just doesn't seem possible.

It's alright Y/N, you think to yourself, Your efforts weren't enough, but that's ok. Putting the blade down, you accept your fate, but hopefully, it will be quick. You close your eyes as the massive hands wrap around your already crushed body.

"Oh no, you don't!" someone screams, and their voice is the last thing you hear before passing out once again.

.

You wake up to a bright light shining in your face. Your eyes open slowly, groggily.

Is this the afterlife? No. You can hear the saline dripping, in what kind of afterlife would you be hooked up to an IV in?

The pain in your head travels all over your body as if it's using your veins to move around. You try to readjust, but stop when a new pain shoots through your chest. You count one, two, three broken ribs. It could be worse. At least you're still alive. Your eyes slowly travel down the bruises that cover your body. Some scratches, stitches, broken fingers and toes. You are not even certain that you still have all of your teeth.

The shape beside you shifts ever so slightly, but it's enough to catch your attention. You turn to look, and into focus comes Hanji. Her head lay on her arms, which rest on top of your mattress next to your right hand. This is one of the few times you've ever seen her hair down - it looks a little messy, but it's still as beautiful as ever. Her glasses are folded on the bedside table in front of her. How long has she been sitting here?

"Han...ji..?" The effort you put into making the sound for only her name to come out is considerable. It scratches and burns, to your frustration, but the weak noise is enough to get her attention.

"You're awake!" she says as tears fill her tired brown eyes. "I was so worried about you - please don't ever do that to me again!" A small hiccup forms in the back of her throat. Her lower lip quivers.

The mere sight of Hanji crying is enough to shatter your heart. You try your best to comfort her within your confines. You reach to touch her hand, eyes softening. The sharp pain of your ribs again forces you to gently recline your back on your pillow once again, but you hold her hand tightly.

"What happened?" you ask.

"The Abnormal we were trying to trap moved faster than anticipated it would. The soldiers fired the net approximately 1.9 seconds late but it was enough to derail the entire plan."

She lifts your hand to plant a kiss on it, almost like she was buying herself time before she had to tell you what the rest of the losses were. Flashes of memories come back to you snippets at a time, not enough to give you a full understanding of what happened, but enough to make your heart sink.

Hanji continues, "Your jump would have been perfectly timed if everything had gone according to plan. When the Titan got out, it tangled your line, and you went flying into a tree." You remember the pain you felt at that moment, you've never felt anything like that before. You could remember clearly the sound your ribs made as they broke.

"After that, it became clear to everyone that our mission had failed, and by the time Commander Erwin gave the retreat order, the Abnormal had already eaten everyone around you. Your body was laying among all the corpses around you and I thought I lost you forever -" Hanji abruptly cuts herself off. She catches her breath and closes her eyes to compose herself.

"I heard you scream my name. I ran back to find you, and you were in the Titan's hand. I couldn't let that happen, obviously. I cut off its arm and caught you while Captain Levi went for the nape. I carried your body to the medic's cart, and I haven't left you since."

"How long?" you croak.

Hanji sighs, "Four days."

"And you've been here the whole time?"

Hanji smiles. "I only left for bathroom breaks."

You roll your eyes, but for a few moments, you forget about the pain covering every inch of you. You were never one for impulsivity but now, your body moves on its own. You're more than familiar with how this scene plays out - you think about it constantly. Your hands shake, and you feel your nerves getting worse the longer it takes.

You've been wanting to do for this for years, and now you have the perfect moment. After what happened, you need to kiss her, even if it's the only time you ever do. So, gently but quickly enough that you can't take it back, you grab her face and pull her to your lips. As they seal together, Hanji is taken by surprise, but just as quickly melts away in your embrace. She places her arms on your shoulders as you deepen the kiss.

It's exactly the way you imagined it would be. Goosebumps rise on your body in response to her soft breath against your mouth. A tiny sob escapes your lips as you're all at once reminded you of how much it hurts to move. But that doesn't stop you. After what feels like hours, you pull away reluctantly. You don't want this moment to ever end.

The bright red blush covering her cheeks makes her look even prettier than usual. She gently touches her lips, looking off into the distance like she's lost in thought.

You pull her back into the moment "Squad Leader..." you begin, taking a deep breath and forming fists with your hands. You gather every ounce of courage you have in you. It's now or never. "I've been in love with you for quite some time, and I should've said something before but I was scared."

Once you've started talking, the words pour out of your mouth.

"Now that I almost became Titan food, I don't want to keep it in any longer. I love the way your eyes sparkle when you're talking about Titans. I love the way your hair falls over your shoulders when you're training, and the way you adjust the straps of your glasses. I could sit here and list everything that's great about you because you are the most amazing person I have ever met."

Your hands start to shake, and your throat burns with effort, but you push out your most important statement. "I'm deeply and completely in love with you, Hanji."

Her mouth hangs open slightly.

Did I just make a huge mistake? It doesn't matter - I had to get this off my chest, you think to yourself.

She's extremely quiet for a few seconds - no more than a minute, but enough time for you to start panicking.

"Since when?" she asks.

"Since I listened to your guest lecture on titans when I was still in the Training Corps."

"Why haven't you said anything up until now?"

You can't help but laugh. "Everyone in the Survey Corps, and probably everyone in the entire military already knows. I just assumed you weren't interested."

"Huh?? I've never noticed!!" she says, waving her hands above her head. You laugh again as you readjust yourself on the bed. "But now that I think about it, I guess you did hug me a lot for no apparent reason... and Erwin did insist that you be my assistant..." she counts off on her fingers, "and you always blushed when I touched you and - oh wait."

She looks down at her legs, her fingers flying to fidget with her hair. "I can't believe I didn't notice..." Her blush spreads deeper once the realization hits her. "The truth is, I've been liking you too, but I thought you liked Captain Levi, or Eren."

You wrinkle your nose, shaking your head. Hanji laughs, standing up to wave you over to the other side of the bed. She lies beside you on the hospital bed, placing her head on your shoulder while carefully lacing your fingers together. She's careful not to bump your injuries. The smell of her hair awakens the butterflies in your stomach, and you place your chin on her head to wrap your free arm around her shoulder.

"I'm glad you're alive." Hanji says. Her voice is barely audible, her words meant for you alone. "From now on, I won't leave your side. You'll be out in the forest killing titans in no time."

You smile. "Right now, there's no other place that I'd rather be than right here next to you." She looks up at your face, flashing you a grin before she pulls you closer, and your lips close against each other once again.

.

A week later, you listen to birds chirp outside of the window while you read your book. The sunlight feels warm and nice against your legs, and the rare silence you're in is much appreciated. It doesn't last long.

"Y/N!!!!!!!!!"

The door barges open to reveal a gaggle of teenagers stumbling over one another.

"Y/N! I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU!" Sasha yells as she runs to hold your hand, but her attention quickly shifts to the half-eaten bean soup on your bedside table. She looks at the soup, and then at you once again.

"You can have it, Sasha," you say with a smile, gesturing to the small bowl. The starved brown-haired girl doesn't lose a second and instantly starts to devour it. A giggle escaping your body as you watch her.

"How are you feeling?" Eren asks before sitting on the bed.

"I'm alright, but I'll need to stay behind during the next few expeditions. I should be good as new in a month or two!"

They stay with you for a little less than an hour, telling you all about their experiences with the failed mission. You find out from them which soldiers were lost and which were injured, along with other small details Hanji didn't mention.

A knock on the door causes all eyes to turn away from you for a moment. Hanji starts to enter, and then gasps as she realizes you have guests.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks.

You flash her a caring smile while reaching your hand out to grab hers. She blushes slightly, but sits beside you. "Of course not. I was wondering where you were," you say. Mikasa makes eye contact with you, and then looks pointedly at your hands as they sit clasped. You blush too.

"Meeting with the Commander," Hanji sighs, "It went on for longer than expected, I'm sorry."

You could hear the giggles coming from your friends as their eyes rest upon you and Hanji.

"We should get going now, but we'll be sure to come over again soon!" Armin says as he and Mikasa push the rest of the group through the door.

Hanji leans forward to kiss your forehead. You close your eyes, and when you open them, you meet Mikasa's emotionless gaze from a crack in the doorway, Hanji's lips still on you. Your eyes widen, but Mikasa just nods, face unchanged, and closes the door behind herself.

"They're good friends to you," Hanji says after a few seconds.

You smile."They're also a handful. But yeah, you're right."

A long, rather comforting silence passes between the two of you. During the silence, you take time to focus on how soft her skin feels against your fingers, tracing the visible veins on her hand as your mind drifts away. You're pulled back to reality as soon as you hear her voice.

"It's a beautiful day outside, would you like to sit on the grass with me?"

.

The breeze rushes through your messy hair as you adjust yourself on top of the blanket. You squint your eyes and places your arm against your forehead in an attempt to keep the sunshine from hurting your vision.

"There's something I want to ask you, Hanji," you mumble.

"Yes?" She inquires, tilting her head while looking at you.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The expression on your face remains the same as when you had been peacefully basking in the sun, but you can hear your blush rushing, heart pounding in your ears. She looks away while blushing, and you're able to notice a smile appear on her face.

"There's nothing I would like more," she says, turning to face you once again. "Well maybe an abnormal, but I do want this a lot."

"You're impossible!" you say while gently pushing her arm.

As you two laugh, your bodies get closer as if they are moving on their own until your lips are sealed in a love-filled kiss. You wrap your arms around her neck while she grabs your hips, slowly pulling you onto her lap.

"I'm in love with you, Hanji." you whisper against her lips, not wanting anyone else to hear these words but her.

"And I'm in love with you, Y/N."

You hug her tightly, feeling her hair against your face as the smell of her shampoo fills your nose. For the first time since you started to prepare for the now-failed mission that led to your injury, your body isn't in pain anymore. You can relax in Hanji's arms, knowing that your long time crush is finally your partner. You can worry about researches and experiments and missions later, right now all you need is Hanji.

"Let's stay here for a little while longer," she says before resting her back against the grass, carefully pulling you towards her. Your head rests on her shoulder as your fingers lace together, a feeling of peace takes over your body knowing that from now on, you'll have her by your side no matter what.

"Yeah... I would like that." You say as you close your eyes, focusing on her breathing as the warmth of the sun and the gentle breeze lull you to sleep. Maybe the next time Hanji comes up with the idea to capture another titan, you'll stay in the lab instead.

[bizlawgal]

I got a prompt I would like to share 😊. Emma flirts with norman everyday. From the smallest ways to the most cheesy pick up lines. Then, why he doesn't understand? Most of the time he just blushes looks to other side and then changes the subject. She feels really stupid and embarrassed and now she has to explain it to norman. EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO NORMAN omg.

I’m bad at pick-up lines, so I hope I somehow had given justice to this prompt HAHA.

I.

It’s been a week since she last visited. 

But instead of the friendly blonde she’s come to know, her eyes immediately fall on someone’s silver hair from the counter.

He looks up from his desk, and she can already see in his eyes the wonder in the form of azure and carnation.

"Good morning, miss," he casually greets with that ever-endearing soft smile he serves his guests. "What can I do for you today?"

She comfortably presses her elbows on top of the counter, instantaneously taken by him. 

Just calling him handsome is an understatement.

"Oh, nothing. Just glad to see a friendly face in the morning."

He looks surprised with the comment, but hedges forward with what he's trained and paid to do. "This library certainly has a lot of friendly faces."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about the others," she implies without a second thought, "I was talking about you. You must be new here."

"Y-yes," he stutters, something he's not proud of, especially when he's talking to a rather lovely guest that he's seen for the first time.

"Whenever I check out a book, it's always that pretty blonde who always assists me. Have you seen Anna?"

There's a joyous vibrato to how she says it like she's telling a story to a friend, heightening the glistening of her eyes.

He blushes at the sight of her, so he offers an explanation to her question to keep his expression neutral. "I'm sorry. Anna resigned a week ago, so I’ll be solely in charge of everyone’s accounts. Is there anything I can help you with now?"

"Oh, I see.” She nods her head in understanding. “Anyway, I'm Emma, and the only thing you can help me with now is telling me your name."

She's interesting, he thinks. "I'm Norman. Do you have any questions I can help you with?"

Satisfaction crosses her face and he instantly ponders as to why her smile feels like the sun radiating on him.

"Okay, Norman. I have one question," she says with her playful eyes that implies to be too endearing at the same time. "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I come again?"

II.

"You're early today, Emma," Norman says as soon as he catches wind of her from the corner of his eye.

She merely whistles a tune, faint sounds of footsteps making their way towards him. "I'm always right on time, you know."

"It has only been seven minutes since we opened up the library." He raises an eyebrow, skepticism covering his face. "Don't tell me you're here to lounge around? Did you always do this when Anna was around?"

"And if I did? I'm bored, Norman," she remarks in the tone of a whine. "Is there anything I could do while I wait for you to finish?"

He draws an exhaustive sigh at the dilemma in front of him. She's been visiting for straight days over the last two weeks, and all she's ever checked out was a single book. Norman can't decipher what has gotten this young lady visiting the library so often.

But he won’t deny the exhilarating feeling of knowing that his company is something that she’s keen on having.

She may just be a lost soul looking for ways to entertain herself in the vastness of this city's library.

"If you have no plans to check out a book, at least take a seat in one of the available couches. I'll attend to you shortly."

Emma seems satisfied with the idea. She merrily makes her way to the nearest couch and comfortably settles herself with its backrest.

Not even a minute longer, Norman feels the piercing stare emanating from his back. His keen senses are to thank for, and clearly, it was sharp as a dagger since he instantly comes in contact with her eyes.

"You're staring," he simply reckons.

"No, I'm not." She doesn’t even deny it.

It's taking everything in him not to blush and be conscious of her gaze that is enough to question a man of his current stature.

"Yes, you are."

"Hmm, really?” She rubs out both of her eyes and blinks excessively at the ceiling. “I think there's just something wrong with my eyes."

Norman places the book he has on hand in its proper place and goes ahead to check on her condition. He moves closer to get a good view of her face when he asks, "What's wrong with your eyes?"

And when he's close enough that she moves her lips to his ear and whispers, "I just can’t take them off of you."

III.

It's been a month since Emma started invading his professional space of employment. He has no qualms about it, yet her presence has been, in more ways, confusing than comforting.

Aside from her lack of tact and overwhelming recklessness, he has nothing to complain about.

Except for her outrageous pick-up lines.

Some are cheesy. Others are funny, and most of the time, it ridiculously just takes his breath away.

"How much does a penalty cost when I fail to return a book after its deadline?" she asks him from the counter on a Saturday.

He shakes his head in amusement. "Are we talking about that engineering book that you've failed to return even after my countless reminders?"

"Maaaaaybeeee," she chimes back.

"It'll be a dollar if we're counting for nearly a month of its overdue fine."

"I see you’re good with Math," she ponders for a moment, the side of her lips twitching for a smile.

"I’m fairly good with numbers," he informs back while encoding the newly-released textbook on his laptop.

"I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers, too! " she points a finger at him, "Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it."

Norman nearly chokes on his own saliva.

IV.

He likes her.

He likes her enough to the point that his head immediately sways to the door the moment it opens; to the point that her laughter brings him an immeasurable amount of joy by just hearing it; and, to the point that he wishes time would stop so that he'd get to hear more of her little pick-up lines.

So when she steps foot inside the library for today, all his attention is remotely diverted to her.

"Good morning, Norman," she greets enthusiastically from the door, a bright mop of orange hair blossoming from her back and a grin to match the glee in her eyes.

Norman instantly sprints to meet her halfway, but loses his balance and falls flat on the wooden floors.

Emma quickens her pace to assist his sorry state. "Norman! Norman! Are you okay?"

"I-It's nothing," he groans the words out, "The floor must've been slippery."

Emma gives out a peal of low laughter before placing his right arm over her shoulders and supporting him to stand up. "You know, you should be careful where you fall."

Norman senses that it's going to be another one of her pick-up lines so he listens attentively, despite the searing pain on his chin. "And where do you suppose I should fall?"

"You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall… is in love with me," she ardently chants as they walk side by side to a vacant seat.

He bites the insides of his cheeks because this is the best one he's heard from her yet.

V.

It's closing time and Emma has taken it upon herself to help him return every borrowed book to its proper placement on the shelf. She’s been awfully quiet, Norman internally infers, with the way she shoves the books back with less delicacy than the previous ones. Her eyebrows are knitted into a frown and her lips are sullen into a pout. 

If she doesn’t appear to be vindictive about something, he thinks it’s an adorable expression out of her.

"Norman." Her voice is stern and less cheerful than the usual, and it makes him pause for a moment. "You look smart enough to me."

"So I've been told."

"But, why are you dumb?"

This statement makes him stop altogether. "I am... what?"

"I think you're dumb," she emphasizes without averting her gaze.

He doesn't even take offense since this is the first time she used such a tone against him. "How am I dumb?"

"Because!" she crosses her hands to her chest in an offensive stance, "I've been flirting with you for over a month, and you always seem to brush me off. My brother said that saying pick-up lines are a good way to go! Is it not working or are you just dumb not to notice?"

Emma is too free and direct — unbound to any chain from halting herself from freely speaking her mind. Her intentions are too pure for his sake and it's taken him more than a month to come up with a response.

"I'm not dumb, Emma," his voice is low and raspy against the stammering of his heart.

She appears taken aback. "So, do you know I'm flirting with you?"

So blunt, yet so efficient. "Yes, I know."

"Do you... not like me?" The will to look at him is gone, only replaced by uneasiness and dejection. “I can stop if you don’t —”

His grin won't falter back, so he allows it to creep into his lips. She's been making too many obvious attempts for him not to notice for over a month and it's high time he returns the favor.

"I like you. It’s just that... I’ve never liked a girl before. I’m sorry if it looked like I wasn’t interested. But — " he takes a step closer to reach for her braid, “I really like you, Emma. You and your silly pick-up lines.”

Her eyes blow wide open with hope. Her hands are balled into a fist with evident shaking from elation. "You do?! You really do?!"

“Do you want proof of it?” he asks coolly as he possibly can.

She nods like a little child that is about to be handed a candy.

He closes a bit of the gap between them, with one hand snaking for support at her back, and the other raising her chin to meet his lips.

If she’s good with swooning him with words, then he may as well do the same. "Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back."

[sinner-as-saint]

Home With You

Mob! Seb AU

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5   Part 6   Part 7

 Part 8.

 Run-through: After having gone through hell, the mob boss finally finds his solace.

 Themes: angst, fluff, mentions of death, smut, mentions of violence, gore scenes and death

 ALL TAG LISTS ARE OPEN. 

A/N: Here we go, one last time…

  He was numb, and regretted with all his heart that he wasn’t here when you woke up. 

 Sebastian didn’t know how to react to the fact that you sat on the bed, surrounded by doctors, with a faint smile on your face as they filled you in with what happened to you and your recovery from here on.

 He felt every emotion at the same time, like a giant wave crashing down upon him. He was relieved, yet scared. He felt as though the entire world around him had come to a halt, and the only thing he could focus on was the little nod you gave the doctors as they congratulated you on waking up and fighting through it all.

They were saying something along the lines of it being a miracle and Sebastian could barely hear them.

Within a few seconds, you spotted him by the door, and your smile magnified. The doctors turned to him as well, and they had reassuring smiles on their faces.

There were three of them, two of who walked out as soon as he walked in. The one who stayed, along with the nurse, was checking the monitors and writing down stuff.

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. One second he was by the door, and the next he was approaching you; cautiously.

He was afraid that this was another one of his torturous dreams, and that he would wake up and find that you were still lying on the bed – unmoving.

Only, it wasn’t.

 You extended your weak arm towards him and he reluctantly took it. Once he held your hand, he could no longer stop the tears.

They flowed uncontrollably and silently down his face.

 He tightened his grip around your knuckles, as if testing if you were real or just a fragment of his imagination.

And he soon found out that you were very real.

 He stared at your face, and your bright smile and he couldn’t believe his eyes. After so many days, you had finally woken up. You were here, with him. You didn’t leave him like everyone said you most likely would.

Without saying a word, he sat on the edge of the bed. Just like he normally would, the only difference was that now; you were awake.

 He watched how your other hand, which still had the IV attached to it, reached out and gently wiped away his tears.

Your hand wasn’t cold anymore. And he leaned into your touch and thanked God quietly as he felt the warmth of your hand against his face.

You gently cradled his face in your hand as you inched closer to him.

 “You badly need a trim,” you whispered, chuckling faintly as you ran your fingers through his now long hair. Despite your head still being a little foggy, you could tell that he hadn’t been taking care of himself.

 He closed his eyes and allowed his tears to fall. The mob boss didn’t care who saw him crying, you were back now, and that’s all he cared about.

 He sniffled and brought your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles and thanking God countless times.

 “You were gone for three weeks, and that’s the first thing you tell me when you wake up?” he asked, fresh tears forming along his water line.

His eyes were red, caused by the many sleepless nights he had spent alongside you – worrying about your well-being.

His ocean blue eyes looked into yours, and all your pain was forgotten.

 You leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, his beard tickled your skin as you did. He sighed and closed his eyes again.

“There’s so much I need to tell you. So much happened, while you weren’t here, and I-,”

You cut him off.

 “I was here, Seb. I heard you, every day. I heard everything you told me. About Chris, and Connor and… Liana. I know you got me flowers all the time, and told me that I was rude and that I should at least say ‘thank you’. I’m sorry, I couldn’t say it then, but I really liked it. I’m sure the flowers were pretty,”

He chuckled while you spoke, softly.

 “I heard you as you complained about your work, and I even heard you snoring at night. I heard everything, Seb. I- I just couldn’t find my way back to you. I wanna go home now, with you,” you placed your head on his broad shoulder and he inched closer to circle his arms around you carefully.

You spoke slower than usual.

His ran his hand up and down your back lazily.

 “Don’t ever leave me again, promise me,” he asked, kissing the top of your head.

 “I won’t. I promise,” you whispered in the crook of his neck. The warmth of your breath ignited a spark inside him, and he was happier than ever.

 When he felt you tightening your grip around his torso, his world suddenly seemed brighter. He felt as though he had been trapped in a dark room all this time, and now, out of nowhere someone flipped the switch and granted him the light he needed, and craved so much.

With you awake, responsive and so alive in his arms; the mob boss felt stronger. He felt complete. You were here now, everything made much more sense.

 ---

 The doctors suggested that you spend a couple more days, under observation, at the hospital. You were weak, and your body was stiff and you needed to get over the shock before they could allow you to go home.

For the following 3-4 days, Sebastian was the happiest he had ever been. His girl was back, and he gets to bring her home after so many days.

 He had people clean the house, made sure everything was in order. He indeed got the trim he so badly needed, then proceeded to come and show you his new hair. It was still longer than before, but it suited him. A lot actually.

You laughed and asked him to do a spin and show it off better. He, very grumpily, did. And made you swear not to ever mention it again, to anyone – not even Chris.

  ---

 By the third day, you were feeling much better. Sebastian helped you walk around; to get you used to moving your limbs which had been resting still for so many days.

And he was extremely not cooperative when the nurses told him that he wasn’t allowed to be in room while they gave you a sponge bath.

You had to suppress your laughter while you watched a grown man in a dark suit argue with two middle aged woman about how he should be allowed to make sure ‘everything was okay’ and how he should not have to leave the room because you were girlfriend.

 After he reluctantly left, the women told you that you were very lucky that he loved you that much. You smiled and told them you were very grateful for having him in your life.  

After all, he was all you had. He was your everything too.

 ---

Sebastian was ecstatic when the doctors finally told him that he could bring you home. You had never seen that big of a smile on his face before.

The doctors told him it would take some time for you to figure everything out, and get back to how things initially were.

He understood, and promised that he would take things slow.

  In the ride back home, he would stop asking if you were fine, comfortable or if you needed anything. It felt like he was dealing with a child.

 “I’m okay, babe, don’t worry,” you reassured him and watched how his ears got red, and so did the apples of his cheeks.

His entire face flushed.

 You chuckled, holding his hand firmly as it was lazily placed on your lap.

 “I just- I want to make sure everything’s alright. With you, with us,” he spoke and brought your intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of your hand.

There was a white patch on it, under which was the wound caused by the IV.

 “We’re alright, Seb. We’re fine, we’ll be okay. Don’t worry so much,”

 He smiled at your words and proceeded to tell you how happy he was that you were going back home with him.

He looked like a little kid; excited as if he was bringing home his best friend.

 Truth is, he was.

   ---

Days went on.

And you were happily back on track. You had adjusted pretty quickly to everything, and you used your social media to catch up on everything you missed.

 Sebastian was of great help, of course, the man barely left your side. He made sure you ate properly, and David came by often and helped with your physiotherapy, to help your stiff joints.

You were getting better and better, and Sebastian was happier than anyone to hear about your progress.

  As much as he could, Sebastian avoided talking about Connor and Liana, but somehow, you managed to bring it up once.

You asked about them, but he still refused to tell you about the horrifying details.

 “They’re gone, okay? You don’t have to worry about them, baby, just focus on getting better, I-,”

 You sighed.

 “I am better, Seb, it’s been two weeks. I’m fine. I just want to know what you did to them, it’s r-,”

 “Killed them, threw their bodies in lakes, no big deal,” he cut you off and answered nonchalantly.

 Surprisingly, you didn’t react.

It did hurt to hear that the man you once thought as being your father, was now at the bottom of some lake. Dead. Alone. Left there without a proper funeral.

And Liana, the one you once considered to be a close friend. She was also dead and lying at the bottom of a lake somewhere. Not cared for.

It hurt for a moment, you were human after all, and unlike Sebastian; you weren’t used to this. But once the recollection of what they did to you settled in, what they did to Sebastian and to your real parents – a little voice in your head whispered that they probably deserved what fate had in store for them.

 You just nodded. At Sebastian, and at your conscience.

 Well, at least they were gone for good.

  ---

 You noticed that Sebastian was still being very careful around you. He held you like you were the most brittle thing in the world, or that he was scared he would break you.

Right now, he assisted you as you got out of the shower, wrapped in your bathrobe. He stood outside as he waited for you to step out.

 “God Y/N, you took so long in there. I thought you fell or something,” his voice showed his worry.

You had barely stepped out of the shower completely that he began questioning you.

 You laughed and shook your head.

 “I’m not made of glass, Seb. I’m fine, you need to stop worrying so much, really,” you spoke as you got your hair out of the twisted towel.

 Your wet locks fell down your back and Sebastian walked up to you and wrapped his hands around you. He kissed the side of your face and looked at you through the mirror in front of which you were standing.

 “Don’t ever leave me,” he spoke, his voice small and gentle. You noticed that he said that quite a lot these days. He wrap his arms around you at different times during the day and would whisper the exact same words, all the time.

You turned around in his arms and faced him, cupping his face in your hands as you placed your lips on his.

He immediately responded by moving his mouth with yours. His hands gripped your waist and one of them easily slipped past the slit of the robe and traced imaginary shapes on your hip bone.

You missed this.

You missed him, and his touch.

And he knew.

But he believed he would hurt you.

  Your hands travelled to his hair and you ran your fingers through it, as you walked the two of you towards the bed.

You sensed that he was holding back. He was, again, being very gentle.

 When the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed, Sebastian broke the kiss abruptly and pulled away. His face showed that he was worried, for nothing, again.

 “Baby, are you hurt? I’m so s-,”

 “Will you just shut up and fuck me? Jesus fucking Christ, Seb! I’m fine! Just-,”

 He didn’t even let you complete your sentence. Having heard what you wanted, all he wanted to do was to please you, all while being gentle of course.

 Sebastian carefully pushed you down on the bed and climbed on top of you, untying your dark grey bathrobe in the process.

He immediately dipped his head down and gave you a deep kiss, tongue slipping past your lips while his hands lazily rubbed up and down your sides.

His hands were warm against your still, somewhat, damp body.

He pulled back and saw the hunger in your eyes. Truth be told, he was eager to have you as well. He had been for so many days, but he was scared.

 His hands ran along your legs and he settled in between them, arms wrapped around your thighs as his face got dangerously close to your damp core.

You whimpered as each puff of air he breathed out fanned against your wet folds and sent shivers down your spine.

 He watched how your back immediately arched off the bed as soon as his mouth made contact with your sensitive spot.

A quiet moan escaped your lips when his tongue circled your clit; eyes closing as each stroke of his tongue felt like ecstasy.

Your hands grabbed onto the blanket under you as Sebastian’s mouth worked wonder on you. His lips rubbed against your folds relentlessly as each sound you made fueled his passion.

You bucked your hips against his mouth gently, moaning as you coated the lower half of his face with your arousal.

 Your thighs tensed as the pleasure washed over you again and again with each stroke of his tongue. It didn’t take you long to reach your release.

Soon, you gushed out all over his lips. Cursing and whimpering under his touch as he kissed his way up your body.

He very briefly took one of your nipples in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it and soon shifted his attention to the other one.

His actions got hastier as he dipped his head back into the crook of your neck again, nibbling on the skin at your throat and collar bones.

 He was just as impatient as you were.

 “Baby, tell me if I hurt you, okay?” he panted at the shell of your ear and waited until you nodded. Once you did, he lowered his sweatpants just enough to free his excited member.

You moaned as soon as you felt it; hard and firm, against your inner thigh. Sebastian chuckled.

 “Needy for me, huh?” he teased, nibbling on the spot right beneath your ear; knowing very well that it was your weak spot.

 You whined in response and he chuckled again – staring into your eyes.

He stared for a bit too long so your hand reached out and touched his face, stroking his cheek affectionately.

“What?” you asked, the look he gave you was different.

It was comforting, loving. Providing you a sense of belonging – there in his arms.

 “Nothing, I love you. I’m so in love with you, and I’m scared that– please don’t leave me. You’re my everything, Y/N,” his words immediately brought tears in your eyes.

 You leaned in and placed our lips on his, sealing the promise that you wouldn’t leave him.

 “I love you, too Seb. A lot,” you whispered against his lips and he wasted no time in pushing his length inside of you.

You sensed a warmth engulfing both you and him, wrapping around you like an invisible shelter – promising a sanctuary. One you wouldn’t find anywhere else.

 He filled you up, and watched how your face frowned in pleasure. He searched for any signs of discomfort, but when he found none; he sped up into you.

 Your hands gripped his shoulder for support as your body moved against his perfectly. Your legs circled his waist and locked behind his lower back.

Each stroke of his member allowed you to feel all of him. His scent infiltrated your mind and soon, that was all you could focus on.

His cologne, mixed with the faint scent of his shower gel. He smelt divine.

 You panted and groaned along with him each time you matched his thrust; body moving against his like a rag doll.

 He pounded into while whispering how much he loved you in your ear, telling you how lonely he felt when you weren’t here, how much he missed you and how he will keep you safe for the rest of your life.

All the sparks, the warmth, the emotions and the pleasure – all at once became too much to handle and soon, you were riding the waves of euphoria.

Walls clenching around him as you let go; moaning his name out loud and whimpering in pleasure as he grunted at how good you felt and how much he had missed this; missed you.

  -

 After going at it for quite a while, the two of you just collapsed onto the bed and snuggled under the covers – panting and sweating, but worth it.

Sebastian’s hands circled around you and he pulled you into his side, kissing the top of your head and sighing in satisfaction.

Out of nowhere, he chuckled.

 “What’s so funny?” you asked, voice still hoarse from your past actions. You tangled your bare legs with his quietly winced at the soreness between your hips.

“Just thinking about the time when I had to literally chase you around the country because you wouldn’t stop fucking running away from me,” he chuckled again.

You scoffed, and smiled at the memory.

 “Well, you did threaten me by placing a gun to my face. You poured hot wax on me, Seb, who wouldn’t run away?” you giggled at the memory.

He turned to look at you in fake disbelief.

 “Oh shut up, you liked it,” he argued and kissed your forehead. Hands lazily hovering over your skin, you sighed in the comfort of his touch.

 “You remember the note you left me? I was so scared of you then,” you laughed at the memory.

 He inched closer and gave you a quick peck on the cheek.

“And now?” he asked, his baby blue eyes looking in yours.

 “And now you’re my safe place. My sanctuary. You’re my home, Seb,”

  ---

  Weeks went on and your relationship with the mob boss kept flourishing. You did have certain situations where you had your differences. Sebastian had this habit of looking out for you and sometimes, it could get suffocating.

But, just like any other couple, you faced your highs and your lows together – promising each other that no matter what happens, you’ll figure out a way to handle it.

 Sebastian, along with Chris, soon got back to his work. All was going smoothly, until one day.

 You were playing around on your phone while Sebastian made dinner. By dinner he meant wine and grilled cheese. Your favorite as you had been loving cheese lately.

 As you scrolled through your calendar, you realized that you hadn’t marked the date you last had your period.

A wave of panic washed over you. And you sat there, frozen on the kitchen stool. Your thoughts were racing and it felt like you were going to pass out any time soon.

 You told Seb you were going to use the bathroom, and on your way there, you searched the bathroom drawers for the two pregnancy tests you had kept just in case.

Your heart pounded as you took both.

 You waited for a while, allowing it time to process the sample and then you finally checked both of them.

Two lines.

You were pregnant.

 Holy shit.

  You paced around in front of the bathroom mirror, making a mental plan of how you would break the news to Sebastian. Would he be happy?

Was the timing alright?

Is it too soon to have a b-

 “Babe? You in there? What’s taking so long?” your always too worried boyfriend yelled from outside, interrupting your overthinking session.

 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Screw the plan.

 Your heart pounded even more as you twisted the handle and opened the door. Stepping out of the bathroom, you found Sebastian standing in the middle of the room.

You knew that both of you thought about that time when you threw up blood and lied to him. But there was no lying this time.

 “Did you throw up again? Y/N, are you okay? Should I call David a-,”

You cut him off

 “I’m pregnant,” was all you said and you watched how it took him some time to process the words you spoke.

He just stared at you, lips parted as he looked like he was in shock.

 “My period’s late, and I just took two tests in there. I’m so pregnant. Seb, baby, I know it’s too soon for us to even consider having a baby and I-,”

 He cut you off by walking over to where you were standing and placed his lips on yours. All your worries went away as fast as they came when he held your face gently in his hand.

When Sebastian pulled away, you noticed how glossy his eyes had become. His blue eyes sparkled as he spoke.

 “Shh, this is perfect. You’re perfect, baby, thank you so much. Jesus, I’m gonna be a dad. Babe, I don’t know how to do anything around babies. I should hide my guns, oh God, do we need a bigger house? Baby, I-,”

Your tears fell as he went on and on, and rambled until you cut him off.

 “Hey, calm down. And don’t worry, the baby won’t be here for a while now. We’re fine, Seb, we’re gonna be okay, we have plenty of time. You’re gonna be a great dad,” you reassured him while he wiped away your tears as they kept falling.

 “That’s my baby in there?” he asked, softly as he placed his hand on your tummy. You nodded with tears in your eyes.

 Sebastian let out a little laugh as he looked down. He was a dad now. He had a baby on the way. And he was more than happy that he’ll get to share this part of his life with you.

 “When will it show?” he asked, suddenly very interested in your belly as he caressed the skin with the palm of his hand and you chuckled as you ran your hand through his now slightly longer hair.

He had been growing it since you once told him that you liked it better that way.

 “It’ll take time for the bump to show, Seb,” you laughed at how clueless he was. Then you realized than due to the nature of his work, he must have been so disconnected from the more ‘normal’ side of life.

He never got to see how beautiful it was to start a family, and watch the life you helped create grow inside someone you love.

He never had this before. But he was going to now, and you were more than happy that you got to give him that.

 Sebastian kissed you again, after which he promised to keep you and his baby safe and sound.

 ---

  And so began the life you had always dreamt of, with the one you loved the most in the world. Life with Sebastian was blissful.

It was everything you had ever dreamt of, and more. Ups and downs, moments spent with him which you would cherish until your last breath. Vacations, and arguments over your baby’s name and your sudden cravings.

And more arguments over names after you found out that you were having twins. A boy and a girl. Sebastian became more protective than ever.

 On some days, he could be the biggest baby you had ever seen. And on other days, watching him run around trying to deal with your mood swings soon became the funniest thing you had ever witnessed.

 Every night, he would wake up even with the slightest movement you made. If you woke up to use the bathroom, he’d wake up and sit on the edge of the bed and waited until you were back in bed before sleeping again.

 While asleep, he soon developed this habit of caressing your baby bump whenever he pleased.

 Sometimes, you both would just look at each other and smile. Not a word was said – but so much was shared through that one smile.

All the hard times which went by, and the ones to come; you both knew that as long as the other one was there, you’d make it through hell and back.

You knew that no matter what, you’d always find a way back to each other. Back to the safety of one another’s arms.

Back home, with each other.

  -

 A/N: I’m crying.

Thank you to each and every one who made it till the end of this series. Thank you for each like. Each comment. Each re-blog and each ask you sent. Thank you for encouraging this.

This is it. This is the last part of the ‘Back For You’ series. Thank you for loving it as much as I did. This is the first series I have ever written, but definitely not the last.

The love you all showed to this series means a lot to me. I adore you. Each one of you. Thank you again!

Love,

Your friendly, neighborhood Sinner.

-

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[gone-to-fight-the-fairies]

Fault

Summary: Connor is devastated after a near-fatal wound hospitalizes you, and turns all blame on himself.

A/N: Work also posted on my dbh blog, @detroit-become-me​  

Pairing: Connor (RK 800) x reader

Word Count: 2k

Persistent beeping pestered you out of your dreams. You want to roll over, to evade the blaring, and go back to sleep. But something is tugging at your arm, and the strange sensation makes you more curious than you are exhausted. There's something else on the same side, but clutching your index finger. The more you stir, the sound seems harsher. The pitch bounces around your skull, around the room, like there's no furniture or objects to soften the racket.

Where are you?

Against the strain of exhaustion and how stiff your body's become, you push your lids back, eyes settling on an unfocused setting. Blurry vision prevails, but you can detect that the walls are white... and too bright.

"Don't worry." A voice so sincere coos. It's almost angelic yet... informative. "You're safe now."

Connor.  

Turning your head quickly makes you dizzy. But he's sitting right there beside you. You blink the blur away, focusing on the softness of his facial features, which you observe to be grimmer than usual. You didn't know an android could look so worn.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

You groan at the increasing pitch, but you refuse to take your eyes off of Connor; the only thing certain in an unknown environment. The corner of his mouth twitches, but there's a heaviness to his expression.

"Relax," he tells you, cupping a hand over yours. "The threat's been eliminated. No one can hurt you now. It's all over."

What was he talking about? The revolution succeeded. Markus won the equality for the androids while Connor and Hank prevented further corruption of Cyberlife. Markus' succession speech had started... Everything was on track towards improvement.

You glance around for clues and halt on the dark splotches on Connor's otherwise pristine jacket. It's dried and... crimson? Androids bleed blue-

"You were attacked..." When you glance up at his face his gaze shifts. "At the Celebration Speech. The shooter mistook you for an android." There are gaps between Connor's words, and his eyes shifted towards the door. "I need some... air."

For a man that didn't breathe? You reaching after him, but the same restraint holds you back, and you curse at the IV.  

"Here you go, girlie." Hank's rough voice calls out a moment after and serves as his form of knocking. An object flies through the air, and you catch it before the greasy package hits your face. You nod towards the Lieutenant, and he laughs. "See, you're going to be back to normal in no time."

Hank occupies the vacant seat Connor left, unwrapping his own food. "Hell, you gave us quite a scare." You're more curious about the events that occurred than what's in your hands.

You shift, sitting up. Though your side burns and it feels like you've been stabbed. You whimper, clutching your left side. Nauseous, you push your food away.

Hank's telling you to take it easy, but you're growing frustrated at the missing information and the pain doesn't help. "I don't even know what's wrong with me."

Hank furrows his brows, glancing up from his burger, delaying his bite. "Connor didn't tell you? He practically diagnosed you himself before any responders could get through the crowd. A clean shot to the side; broke two ribs in the process. Fuck, the doctor was oblivious that the bulled nicked your liver. Connor had to fight 'em to reconsider the original diagnosis, which, from what he says, would've made you bleed out."

There's a growing lump in your throat, but better than the anxiety of the unknown. "I guess we both have troubled livers now." Hank's laugh spits out part of his burger, making you to smile momentarily before you return to seriousness. "Connor did say that someone who hates androids did this-"

"Hated," Hank corrects, and you understand immediately. Something in your expression alternates what he says next. "And, yeah, sort of. It hated Deviants. Uh... maybe we should talk about this when you're feeling better."

It?

You aren't given the proper time to calculate the information as another voice interrupts and a figure enters the room. "The robot mentioned you were awake."

Was Connor willing to talk to the entire building before you?

"He's an android, doc," Hank grumbles, crossing his arms. It wasn't easy to let go of another's mistakes, but Hank clearly didn't think much of this doctor.  

The doctor ignores Hank, checking your charts. "Vitals are stable. How do you feel?" He directed towards you while looking at the papers on his clipboard. "Wait, you're not the one with appendicitis."

"No, she's the girl you almost killed yesterday-" Hank's standing up to square off with the man, but you reach forward, ignoring the pain to tug at your friend's sleeve. "Hank." You plead, and after a long moment, he curses and waits outside the room for the doctor to finish.

When the doctor left, Hank swore up a storm worse than the blizzard days before. "Didn't even suggest you stay away from this grub." Hank held up his half-eaten burger. "Connor's smart not to trust the doctors around here. Rely too much on androids to do their God damn jobs."

Hank wanders back to the chair, and picks up his burger to resume eating, but stays standing. He's watching you, knowing that something beyond your health is bothering you. "You know, Connor somehow got into your operating room, which is beyond me. Surprised he left in such a hurry just now."

"Maybe he just didn't want to be here."

The Lieutenant takes a bite, talking with his mouth full. "I know Connor just as well as I know Japanese, but I do know that becoming a Deviant means he doesn't do anything he doesn't want. And Connor hadn't left your side for one second since you were shot." When you aren't convinced, Hank continues. "Connor blew away that piece of shit within seconds of the attack. But I think he regrets not preventing it, so it's hard for him to see you like this."

You stare at your hands placed gently on your lap. "It was an android that shot me, wasn't it."

Hank's swift change of conversation confirms your question. "You know, why don't I reel Connor back in here. He's lurking somewhere."

The Detective wanders out, only leaving his wrapper on the seat as you wonder about Connor. 

Connor leans over the rails of the second story pavilion, watching people enter and leave the hospital. Maybe he's trying to normalize what happened to you or distract himself. But diverting his attention is unsuccessful, and that seems to be fitting to the last few days of his life. The sun shines on his face. The blizzard finally abandoned Detroit, allowing the sun to shine upon the new age of freedom. But the city had never seemed so dark.

Despite the productive surgery and you regaining consciousness, he still felt the pang of fear, one which bled from his subconscious into the rational portion of his brain. Becoming a deviant meant feeling everything, and he wished he could be selective.

You were alive, and you were safe, Connor had to remember that. It provided some relief but the grit of reality to still hung in the air no matter where he went.

"You should talk to her." Hank was bound to find him sooner or later.

Connor didn't physically react, watching a woman clutch her stomach as a man wheeled her towards the emergency entrance.

"She's wondering why you ran off." Connor's led spins yellow. "Thinks it's her fault." Then red. 

"It isn't." Connor watches his friend from his peripheral. "I'm adjusting to the side effects of emotion. It isn't... pleasant."

Hanks struts up beside Connor, leaning an arm on the rails while facing the android. "Hospitals are the scariest places on Earth. Do you think I want to be here? Fuck no. But despite my triggers, there's a girl in recovery here that could use a friendly face. And if you haven't noticed, I'm not the friendly one between the two of us. So, you should get the hell back in that room."

"I don't know how to handle this." He gazes at the Lieutenant. "When you were here for Cole-"

"Do I look like a therapist to you? Figure it out, you dumb fuck." Hank's already walking away. "And stop triggering me."

Connor's Led swirls yellow, but the soft blue never returns.

"It's all my fault."

You furrow your brows by the time you make eye contact with the android. He's standing in the doorway, appearing terrified to enter.

"From what I hear, you're the reason I'm alive."

Connor shakes his head, taking a step inside. Unable to make eye contact, the android's eyes dart around the room until they land on the discarded burger in your bed. The way he zones in on it, you know he's scanning the wrapper. "That's insufficient dietary for recovery. Hank shouldn't have brought that."

The android meets your eye, and the misery on your face makes him confess. "The shooter was an android sent by Cyberlife; my replacement." Connor wanders back over to the chair beside your bed. "I should have strung Cyberlife along, making them believe I was still on their side, even towards the end. Then you wouldn't have been in the line of fire."

"So, I wasn't the target?"

Connor blinks, astounded that technicalities are your primary concern, not that he was the core reason for your hospitalization. "You blocked the shot. The... assassin," he had a difficult time saying the word. " attempted to shot through you to strike Markus."

You squeezed the android's hand. "You've saved so many lives by leaving Cyberlife. Don't ever regret that. I knew what I was signing up for by fighting for the revolution."

Connor's dark eyes remained low, making it impossible for you to detect what he was thinking. "Connor?"

"I've never seen so much crimson blood before," he admits, glancing up at you through his dark lashes. "More blue blood than all of my versions could store, but your blood..." Connor's face falls ultimately, and his eyes swell with tears, causing your stomach to churn. "I was so... scared. Becoming a Deviant has changed things, but what I felt holding you on that stage... I couldn't have ever imagined that much fear. The...pain of knowing that if I had done something differently-"

"Guilt," you remind him, knowing he was still adjusting to emotions, all of them that came with being alive. "is a sticky business, especially when it's felt unjust. You shouldn't feel guilty. Hank says I would've died without you. And this is what happens when you have people you care about when you have friends."

"But we're not just friends," Connor looks up at you. "Are we?"

Your heart thumps erratically, and you know Connor doesn't need the monitor to detect the irregularity.

"An android falling for a human... it may be the first occasion in existence. And because I wanted to be near you, with you, I didn't think of the consequences of angering Cyberlife." His voice breaks, and you can see moisture built up in his eyes. You hadn't known androids could tear up. "I shouldn't have been so selfish, I'm sorry... more than I can ever express."

Connor studies your face. "Have I said something that has made you uncomfortable? I won't bring it up again if you prefer-"

"Kiss me, Connor."

His led swirls frantically as he processes the request, while your free arm outstretches towards Connor. Your hand brushes his cheek, lingering over the false skin, how soft and even warm he felt under your touch. And the android rests into your embrace. He leans in, making it possible for you to reach up, and press your lips against his in the softest and most blissful motion.

Getting shot was worth this.

[detroit-become-me]

Fault

Summary: Connor is devastated after a near-fatal wound hospitalizes you, and turns all blame on himself.

A/N: Work also posted on my main blog, @gone-to-fight-the-fairies​​  

Pairing: Connor (RK 800) x reader

Word Count: 2k

Persistent beeping pestered you out of your dreams. You want to roll over, to evade the blaring, and go back to sleep. But something is tugging at your arm, and the strange sensation makes you more curious than you are exhausted. There’s something else on the same side, but clutching your index finger. The more you stir, the sound seems harsher. The pitch bounces around your skull, around the room, like there’s no furniture or objects to soften the racket.

Where are you?

Against the strain of exhaustion and how stiff your body’s become, you push your lids back, eyes settling on an unfocused setting. Blurry vision prevails, but you can detect that the walls are white… and too bright.

“Don’t worry.” A voice so sincere coos. It’s almost angelic yet… informative. “You’re safe now.”

Connor.  

Turning your head quickly makes you dizzy. But he’s sitting right there beside you. You blink the blur away, focusing on the softness of his facial features, which you observe to be grimmer than usual. You didn’t know an android could look so worn.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

You groan at the increasing pitch, but you refuse to take your eyes off of Connor; the only thing certain in an unknown environment. The corner of his mouth twitches, but there’s a heaviness to his expression.

“Relax,” he tells you, cupping a hand over yours. “The threat’s been eliminated. No one can hurt you now. It’s all over.”

What was he talking about? The revolution succeeded. Markus won the equality for the androids while Connor and Hank prevented further corruption of Cyberlife. Markus’ succession speech had started… Everything was on track towards improvement.

You glance around for clues and halt on the dark splotches on Connor’s otherwise pristine jacket. It’s dried and… crimson? Androids bleed blue-

“You were attacked…” When you glance up at his face his gaze shifts. “At the Celebration Speech. The shooter mistook you for an android.” There are gaps between Connor’s words, and his eyes shifted towards the door. “I need some… air.”

For a man that didn’t breathe? You reaching after him, but the same restraint holds you back, and you curse at the IV.  

“Here you go, girlie.” Hank’s rough voice calls out a moment after and serves as his form of knocking. An object flies through the air, and you catch it before the greasy package hits your face. You nod towards the Lieutenant, and he laughs. “See, you’re going to be back to normal in no time.”

Hank occupies the vacant seat Connor left, unwrapping his own food. “Hell, you gave us quite a scare.” You’re more curious about the events that occurred than what’s in your hands.

You shift, sitting up. Though your side burns and it feels like you’ve been stabbed. You whimper, clutching your left side. Nauseous, you push your food away.

Hank’s telling you to take it easy, but you’re growing frustrated at the missing information and the pain doesn’t help. “I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”

Hank furrows his brows, glancing up from his burger, delaying his bite. “Connor didn’t tell you? He practically diagnosed you himself before any responders could get through the crowd. A clean shot to the side; broke two ribs in the process. Fuck, the doctor was oblivious that the bulled nicked your liver. Connor had to fight ‘em to reconsider the original diagnosis, which, from what he says, would’ve made you bleed out.”

There’s a growing lump in your throat, but better than the anxiety of the unknown. “I guess we both have troubled livers now.” Hank’s laugh spits out part of his burger, making you to smile momentarily before you return to seriousness. “Connor did say that someone who hates androids did this-”

“Hated,” Hank corrects, and you understand immediately. Something in your expression alternates what he says next. “And, yeah, sort of. It hated Deviants. Uh… maybe we should talk about this when you’re feeling better.”

It?

You aren’t given the proper time to calculate the information as another voice interrupts and a figure enters the room. “The robot mentioned you were awake.”

Was Connor willing to talk to the entire building before you?

“He’s an android, doc,” Hank grumbles, crossing his arms. It wasn’t easy to let go of another’s mistakes, but Hank clearly didn’t think much of this doctor.  

The doctor ignores Hank, checking your charts. “Vitals are stable. How do you feel?” He directed towards you while looking at the papers on his clipboard. “Wait, you’re not the one with appendicitis.”

“No, she’s the girl you almost killed yesterday-” Hank’s standing up to square off with the man, but you reach forward, ignoring the pain to tug at your friend’s sleeve. “Hank.” You plead, and after a long moment, he curses and waits outside the room for the doctor to finish.

When the doctor left, Hank swore up a storm worse than the blizzard days before. “Didn’t even suggest you stay away from this grub.” Hank held up his half-eaten burger. “Connor’s smart not to trust the doctors around here. Rely too much on androids to do their God damn jobs.”

Hank wanders back to the chair, and picks up his burger to resume eating, but stays standing. He’s watching you, knowing that something beyond your health is bothering you. “You know, Connor somehow got into your operating room, which is beyond me. Surprised he left in such a hurry just now.”

“Maybe he just didn’t want to be here.”

The Lieutenant takes a bite, talking with his mouth full. “I know Connor just as well as I know Japanese, but I do know that becoming a Deviant means he doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want. And Connor hadn’t left your side for one second since you were shot.” When you aren’t convinced, Hank continues. “Connor blew away that piece of shit within seconds of the attack. But I think he regrets not preventing it, so it’s hard for him to see you like this.”

You stare at your hands placed gently on your lap. “It was an android that shot me, wasn’t it.”

Hank’s swift change of conversation confirms your question. “You know, why don’t I reel Connor back in here. He’s lurking somewhere.”

The Lieutenant wanders out, only leaving his wrapper on the seat as you wonder about Connor. 

Connor leans over the rails of the second story pavilion, watching people enter and leave the hospital. Maybe he’s trying to normalize what happened to you or distract himself. But diverting his attention is unsuccessful, and that seems to be fitting to the last few days of his life. The sun shines on his face. The blizzard finally abandoned Detroit, allowing the sun to shine upon the new age of freedom. But the city had never seemed so dark.

Despite the productive surgery and you regaining consciousness, he still felt the pang of fear, one which bled from his subconscious into the rational portion of his brain. Becoming a deviant meant feeling everything, and he wished he could be selective.

You were alive, and you were safe, Connor had to remember that. It provided some relief but the grit of reality to still hung in the air no matter where he went.

“You should talk to her.” Hank was bound to find him sooner or later.

Connor didn’t physically react, watching a woman clutch her stomach as a man wheeled her towards the emergency entrance.

“She’s wondering why you ran off.” Connor’s led spins yellow. “Thinks it’s her fault.” Then red. 

“It isn’t.” Connor watches his friend from his peripheral. “I’m adjusting to the side effects of emotion. It isn’t… pleasant.”

Hanks struts up beside Connor, leaning an arm on the rails while facing the android. “Hospitals are the scariest places on Earth. Do you think I want to be here? Fuck no. But despite my triggers, there’s a girl in recovery here that could use a friendly face. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m not the friendly one between the two of us. So, you should get the hell back in that room.”

“I don’t know how to handle this.” He gazes at the Lieutenant. “When you were here for Cole-”

“Do I look like a therapist to you? Figure it out, you dumb fuck.” Hank’s already walking away. “And stop triggering me.”

Connor’s Led swirls yellow, but the soft blue never returns.

“It’s all my fault.”

You furrow your brows by the time you make eye contact with the android. He’s standing in the doorway, appearing terrified to enter.

“From what I hear, you’re the reason I’m alive.”

Connor shakes his head, taking a step inside. Unable to make eye contact, the android’s eyes dart around the room until they land on the discarded burger in your bed. The way he zones in on it, you know he’s scanning the wrapper. “That’s insufficient dietary for recovery. Hank shouldn’t have brought that.”

The android meets your eye, and the misery on your face makes him confess. “The shooter was an android sent by Cyberlife; my replacement.” Connor wanders back over to the chair beside your bed. “I should have strung Cyberlife along, making them believe I was still on their side, even towards the end. Then you wouldn’t have been in the line of fire.”

“So, I wasn’t the target?”

Connor blinks, astounded that technicalities are your primary concern, not that he was the core reason for your hospitalization. “You blocked the shot. The… assassin,” he had a difficult time saying the word. “ attempted to shot through you to strike Markus.”

You squeezed the android’s hand. “You’ve saved so many lives by leaving Cyberlife. Don’t ever regret that. I knew what I was signing up for by fighting for the revolution.”

Connor’s dark eyes remained low, making it impossible for you to detect what he was thinking. “Connor?”

“I’ve never seen so much crimson blood before,” he admits, glancing up at you through his dark lashes. “More blue blood than all of my versions could store, but your blood…” Connor’s face falls ultimately, and his eyes swell with tears, causing your stomach to churn. “I was so… scared. Becoming a Deviant has changed things, but what I felt holding you on that stage… I couldn’t have ever imagined that much fear. The…pain of knowing that if I had done something differently-”

“Guilt,” you remind him, knowing he was still adjusting to emotions, all of them that came with being alive. “is a sticky business, especially when it’s felt unjust. You shouldn’t feel guilty. Hank says I would’ve died without you. And this is what happens when you have people you care about when you have friends.”

“But we’re not just friends,” Connor looks up at you. “Are we?”

Your heart thumps erratically, and you know Connor doesn’t need the monitor to detect the irregularity.

“An android falling for a human… it may be the first occasion in existence. And because I wanted to be near you, with you, I didn’t think of the consequences of angering Cyberlife.” His voice breaks, and you can see moisture built up in his eyes. You hadn’t known androids could tear up. “I shouldn’t have been so selfish, I’m sorry… more than I can ever express.”

Connor studies your face. “Have I said something that has made you uncomfortable? I won’t bring it up again if you prefer-”

“Kiss me, Connor.”

His led swirls frantically as he processes the request, while your free arm outstretches towards Connor. Your hand brushes his cheek, lingering over the false skin, how soft and even warm he felt under your touch. And the android rests into your embrace. He leans in, making it possible for you to reach up, and press your lips against his in the softest and most blissful motion.

Getting shot was worth this.

[demolover]

ive seen ur posts mentioning u have thoughts on queer perspective towards death and how mcr fit into it so. if u ever decide to share other ideas on the topic id love to read it! (i think ur really good at getting your thoughts accross) (u dont have to answer btw i just wasnt sure abt shooting a dm abt this)

it’s been so long i’m so sorry um i have a lot of thoughts idk if u still want them here’s an attempt at a short version... 

edit: changing this to under a cut cuz it’s insanely long. if u don’t feel like reading almost 1.5k words probably don’t read it.

basically i think that mortality and death are very common things for all humans to think about and make art about because we’re kinda... obsessed with and extremely afraid of death. which (i think) stems from how death is one of the few things we know is going to happen to us, and yet we can’t understand it really. we know it is the end but we cannot know anything about it because it is the end. so that intrigues us (and makes us afraid) and then u can add in how we see other people in our life die before we do... basically it all adds up to us being obsessed with understanding and defying our own mortality somehow.

we can see this theme in mcr a lot, the interplay between mortality and defiance and hope... i call it hope vs inevitability and i think it’s especially noticeable in bullets and danger days, because in the other two they’re not really fighting so much as existing side by side... i wrote in notes once that in those albums, the hope is in the inevitable...

in black parade it’s pretty much totally like this; after you die you join the black parade, and your memory will carry on. there is fear going into it, but it very much feels like an album accepting and even embracing the end, not fighting it. accepting it and embracing it with this crazy tone... come one come all to this tragic affair. wipe off that makeup, what’s in is despair... (note: i used to think that line was what sin is despair and i still wonder if that was on purpose). revenge is a bit more complex but i have always thought that beyond the hope of getting the girl back, of bringing her back to life (against the end, against death and mortality) there must also be some relief in death for the guy demo lover... if you would kill a thousand men to get your lover back from the dead, would you die to meet them there? <- maybe i’m wrong; there is still hope vs inevitability here.

in danger days and bullets, though, is where i feel like we see those things ultimately fight; in bullets we have this desperate desire to be immortal and mean something, coupled with the strong feeling that you will die with nothing. that you will die. (i have a post on this theme in the song demolition lovers). then, in danger days we see this theme come with this absolute denial of mortality (killjoys never die) coupled with this intense fear of death and being remembered wrong or not at all. and of course this culminates in them dying. (here is my post on this theme in danger days it’s kinda a mess but so is this post so whatever).

right so we’ve established mcr (and humanity in general) is obsessed with mortality we already knew that though. what does it have to do with queerness.

basically there’s a couple things.

1. the connection of both otherness and love with death (note: this also applies to a lot of minorities but queerness is what’s really applicable to mcr specifically). the extent to which mcr intertwines narratives of love and otherness with death and violence is.... a lot. we see it in every album, i believe; it’s most noticeable in bullets in drowning lessons and demo lovers, in revenge in so many songs i’m not going to try to list them, in black parade in cancer, wttbp and my way home is through you, and in danger days in save yourself, only hope for me, and scarecrow. this was just off the top of my head; there’s probably more songs with examples of this.

this is very queer (at least when done by mcr; as most of mcr is white the issues that come with things like the history of interracial marriage, etc. don’t really apply) because of how for queer people our identities and love can be deadly to us... the history of queer love and identity is obviously marked with violence against the people displaying that love and identity.

straight cis white guys don’t usually talk about death with the connection with love at the forefront, at least not that i’ve seen. every once in awhile they do, i guess, if they’re talking about grief, but otherwise, no. demo lovers is my favorite example of the connection of love with death; especially in the first couple verses, the two seem so linked. the first 2 mentions of death or the end in the song are immediately followed by “with you”... “i’d end my days with you in a hail of bullets,” and “i would drive on to the end with you.”

in the whole demo lovers arc, through bullets and revenge, the themes of death and love are so intertwined it’s impossible to untangle them. if i tried to make a post of all the times in revenge death and love are talked about in the same lyric, as if one thing, i would be screenshotting lyrics all night. of course, if we bring in gwgt theory, and start thinking about how the girl and guy demo lovers are a metaphor for gerard’s relationship with his gender, we can go way further with this too. the simultaneous love story involving these parts of himself, and intertwined violence and death. the fear present... the lyrics that talk at the same time about hurting yourself and being hurt by others... but that’s a different post, really. i’m gonna try to stay more surface level. no speculating on metaphors (today).

in black parade i think we see the connection of otherness with death a lot more than the connection with love, although they’re both still present... in danger days the concept of otherness when associated with death is super clear: killjoys defy the city and become something “other,” which is scorned and hated by BLI/nd, and they get killed for it. love is also a pretty common theme in danger days songs, often intertwined with death, though less obviously than in revenge.

2. just... the extent to which this idea of mortality and death and immortality and memory is talked about is interesting in itself i think. this obsession with our legacy and our mortality is present in a lot of stuff, not just queer stuff, but it’s just everywhere in mcr’s discography (and a lot of the subsequent groups of music related to/associated with mcr, which are also often known for being queer). they constantly talk about how they’ll die, and how they’ll die sooner rather than later, and can they live forever anyway, what does immortality mean after all, will they be remembered, what will their legacy be... etc.

memory and legacy is something i haven’t really talked about, but i think it’s also essential to the conversation. for obvious reasons queer people (and people of a lot of other minorities but i’m only talking about the queer part cuz it’s the most/the only applicable thing here) have a more complicated relationship with how we’ll be remembered and whether we’ll be remembered than cishet people do. how mcr talks about this reminds me a lot of the sappho fragment tumblr passes around ever so often... “someone will remember us / i say / even in another time.” (comparison/parallels post of mcr lyrics and that quote by @milfygerard (and added onto by me) here.)

and that brings us back around to the theme of hope vs inevitability... as i mentioned earlier, this theme isn’t necessarily totally queer on it’s own, but as with talking about memory and legacy the way mcr does, if you talk about it so much that it becomes a core theme in all of your albums it ends up feeling a lot more queer than before. hope vs inevitability in mcr’s work connects to love and death and both at once and is just everywhere. and it ends up connecting to the way a lot of queer people think about our death and our mortality and our hope. and how the future and the past are thought about in connection to these themes i think is kind of queer too — when your history is barely spoken and your present is in hiding, of course you look to the future. despite that that means looking towards the ending. and maybe you embrace that ending, because what else is there to do?

i’m very sorry. this was not short. if you have questions, or want to tell me how i’m wrong, or have your own thoughts, do not be afraid to dm me or send me asks please... fascinating topic.