#deranged incoherent rambling

[socialjusticeinamerica]

Bing, bong, bing, bong,….

[visenyaism]

if i ever unearth my genuinely insane asoiaf notes app archives from june-august when i was too shy to post every thought that ever railed through my brain onto here…

[dougielombax]

“This is not a loaf of bread.”

Yeah thank you tumblr.

This is probably the least incoherent and deranged advertising you allow on this site.

What am I even looking at?

[gubgubbington]

Hot Tips For Tera Raid Battles In Pokemon SV

--

the tera raid battles can be like. really REALLY difficult if you're not prepared. time to infodump what I've learned for the public who might need it. i hope it's coherent enough :]

you will generally need to build a competitively viable pokemon for any raid 5* or higher. if you're worried about stat spreads and not knowing where to put your evs generally max hp and max whatever your strongest attacking stat is will work. speed kinda doesn't matter, don't worry about it. 5* raid pokemon are level 75, so make sure you're not underleveled!!

keep in mind the original typing of the pokemon you're going up against as well as its tera type, there's no guarantee it'll have attacking moves for its tera type.. but it will definitely have attacking moves for its original type(s)

almost every 5* or higher raid pokemon WILL have a status move. any pokemon with taunt is extremely valuable support (grimmsnarl <3)

gholdengo and your box legendary are AMAZING pokemon to start with as far as building raid pokemon goes. your box legendary will always do dependable damage and gholdengos immunity to status moves make it nice consistant dps, even if its attacking moves aren't super effective. another pokemon I'll always recommend for any raid that isn't related to steel, poison or fairy, as previously mentioned, is grimmsnarl. screen and taunt support is always nice. it also gets spirit break, which will drop special attack whether the opponent is shielding or not. great pokemon for the longevity of your team!!

A lot of people like to set up or use stat dropping moves on the opposing pokemon the first few turns, if you realize your teammates are doing this and you can't do the same, try not to attack for supereffective as once the pokemon passes a threshold of health itll shield up and likely erase any stat drops/boosts afterwards, making the entire thing just a huge waste of valuable time.

REMEMBER TO CHEER!! do NOT be scared to use it!! heal up is always valuable and go all out is great for if your team is setting up or terastalizing as well! if you have a spare cheer, use it!

[vauxxy]

SECOND THAT

luke castellan x reader

★ “i’m restless, i’m wrestling with the song that you love, it’s been stuck in my head”

ABOUT - luke castellan is the only one at camp who sees right through your perfect and poised persona; and all he wants is the satisfaction of ruining it.

WARNINGS - smut, mentions of choking, both the reader and luke are TERRIBLE but luke is much worse lol, swearing, written from the perspective of a deranged luke, penetration, only loosely proofread.

A/N- i have NEVER written and posted smut before EVER. like i get close but i never go all out. so… no hate guys 😘 also i feel like this is a bit ooc for luke so just pretend he’s actually insane and terrible guys!!! if you ignore his incoherent ramblings, it’s PWOP sooo… anyways this might be the first and last time i ever write smut who knows

luke castellan is no amateur when it comes to pretending to be something else. growing up, the only thing that mattered to luke was receiving praise or recognition for being ‘great’ or ‘honourable’ or whatever.

when you live your whole life pretending to be a perfect person, you kinda start to believe you really are a perfect person.

and if everyone you meet also believes you are indeed a perfect person, what’s the harm in continuing to pretend?

at the end of the day, both parties gain something. you get the validation and acclaim that you truly deserve, and they get a role model they aspire to at least halfway resemble.

luke is the sweetest guy at camp- everyone loves him. and he deserves it, doesn’t he? he deserves their praise and love and respect. gods, he should be rewarded for pretending to be so admirable for so long. he’s entitled to it.

you, on the other hand? you don’t. you don’t deserve an ounce of the praise luke has worked so hard to receive.

to luke, you’re vermin. behind your polite smiles and sweet words, there’s darkness. there’s an evil lurking within you- he’s sure of it.

he sees it during early morning sparring sessions, watching from the wings while you tactfully dodge every attack that comes your way. and when you eventually falter, he sees how your eyes turn cold and your smile fades.

he sees how you take a shaky breath, brushing yourself off with your bony hands before flashing a toothy grin. he feels nauseous when you extend your arm out to shake the hand of your opponent- because how the fuck can they believe your little act?

your gentle kindness and bashful charisma is so obviously fake. of course, he’s not pissed that you’re acting; everyone at camp is acting to an extent. but you’re going all out, and he can still see through it. what pisses him off, is that nobody else seems to recognise how truly malicious you can be.

maybe it’s because you’re pretty. luke is no stranger to getting special treatment based on his appearance, and neither should you be. maybe that’s the whole basis of your appeal. it seems to be the only thing holding your pathetic little facade together, considering your sloppy acting skills.

if you were ugly everyone would be able to call out your bullshit straight away, and then he wouldn’t have to worry about sharing the spotlight. honestly, the only reason why everyone loves you so much is because half of them want to fuck you, and the other half want your attention or approval- not that it’d be worth anything.

it was the last week of spring, meaning only the year-rounders and a few of the older kids were at camp. you just graduated high school, and arrived at camp early.

of course, you just had to return to camp prettier, taller, more confident, and with a fancy college acceptance letter. maybe you were much smarter than you let on- but it became very apparent that your intelligence wasn’t the reason you got accepted into NYU once he learned what you were studying.

“oh, i’m getting a degree in art history,”

seriously? art history? that’s gotta be the funniest thing luke has ever heard in his entire life.

“really? why art history?” he asks politely, watching your every move as he awaits your dumbass explanation.

you shrug cheerfully, looking around at the few other campers scattered around in a tight-knit circle as they wait for you to tell them about your ‘lovely’ 18th birthday and ‘eventful’ senior year.

“i don’t know, my mum works with a lot of artists, so she said it’d be a good conversation starter,” you say cheerfully, as if it wasn’t the stupidest thing to ever exit your mouth.

luke can’t help but let out a little giggle, before instantly lowering his head to offer some non-verbal apology. but to his surprise, you laugh along. “yeah, i really wanna score a job at the MET or something. i don’t mind either way,”

luke nods politely, letting the conversation continue without interrupting with a snide comment or unsolicited laughter.

he plays along as the conversation continues, pretending he doesn’t want to grab you by the throat and push you against the wall, demanding you to confess. demanding you to tell the fucking truth; that you’re a manipulative sycophant who’s bound to end up in rehab for getting addicted to designer drugs.

why is he the only one that sees you for who you truly are? gods, if he knew any better he might be charmed. you were naturally picturesque- or at least you seemed to be. the way that you were sitting on the grass with your hair draping over your body; you looked gorgeous. but you always look gorgeous, that’s your best quality after all.

of course all of camp half-blood was fooled- you were to pretty and kind to be lying. maybe it was better to let them keep on believing that you were this perfect image of a girl.

but he’d still appreciate the satisfaction of seeing you for who you are- seeing you in your rawest form.

and then suddenly, he saw it. some athena girl asked you if you wanted to go on a run with her later, to which you politely declined. of course, you kept your composure, told her that you had to take a nap, offered her a sympathetic smile and a ‘maybe next time’. but she didn’t see the way your eyes rolled to the back of your head as soon as she looked away.

luke was astonished. you really were getting sloppy, huh?

and yet, nobody else saw it. nobody else saw the look of disgust on your face as soon as she finished talking. he was seething- how on earth could everyone be so blind?

luke looks around at the group of people surrounding him, his eyes darting back to you ever 5 or 10 seconds. they all look at you with awe- as if you’re the most precious thing on earth.

fuck that. he was going to put you in your place.

a few hours pass, and it was finally time for everyone to walk back to their cabins.

luke spots you walking alone to your cabin, your face dimly lit by the moon as it shines over the camp. he’s so overwhelmed with anger, he couldn’t fathom caring about the consequences of whatever situation he was about to put himself in.

he quickly catches up to you, meeting your walking pace as he shoots you a friendly smile.

“hey, y/n. you got a minute?” luke asks, still adorning that charming smile. you smile back at him, nodding your head ever so gently, as if it would fall off if you moved it too fast. like a rusty elvis bobble head bought 1976 that resides on the dash of your grandmother’s busted car.

“yeah, why?” you hold your hands behind your back as you walk beside him, slowly approaching your empty cabin. luke shrugs his shoulders. “oh, i just had a little question. mind if we talk in your cabin?” he asks.

you nod, opening the door for luke and letting him walk through. you close the door behind him, before leaning your back against the wall. luke stands in front of you, his cheery demeanour vanishing as he crosses his arms.

“why the fuck are you such a little bitch all the time?”

you furrow your brows, mirroring his posture as you cross your arms defensively. “excuse me?”

luke rolls his eyes, letting out dry laughter as he looks you up and down. “you heard me,” he adds, watching you anxiously begin to pick at your lips with your freshly manicured fingernails.

“do you have a problem with me or something?” your whole body feels tense as you continue picking at your lips, your eyes locked onto his.

“yeah, i do have a problem. i’m tired of your little ‘nice girl’ act. it’s getting fucking annoying,” luke scoffed, taking a step closer towards you. your eyes darken, before shaking away your hostile expression.

“are you sure you wanna do this right now, castellan?”

“is that a threat?”

you pull your fingertips away from your lips, shifting your weight to the other side of your body as you cross your arms once more. you let silence fill the room before finally speaking up.

“listen, luke. everyone pretends to be someone they’re not. you and i just tend to do it more than others-“

luke cuts your off, taking another step forwards. “fuck off, we are not the same.”

you roll your eyes, banging your head against the wall as you groan irritably. “so what? are you gonna go around spreading cheap lies about me now?” you ask tiredly. luke shakes his head, slightly shrugging his shoulders.

“nah.” he replies curtly, his voice blunt and expression vague. “mkay, then what the fuck is your problem?”

luke takes another quick step forward, tightly holding your chin in his hand as he lifts your head to face him. “you’re my fucking problem.”

you let out a dry laugh, staring into his eyes as you attempt to intimidate him. “you’re such a loser.” you whisper, refusing to fight back against the way he’s gripping your face.

he stays silent, biting his lip as he looks over your form. “and you’re a brat.” he retorts.

“are we just going to keep throwing insults back and forth all night, or are you gonna explain why you’re so obsessed with me?” you ask playfully, cupping his face in your hand as an attempt to patronise him.

luke is stumped. to be fair, he is entirely obsessed with you. and he has been for years now. and now he has you cornered, watching your weak attempts at asserting dominance over him.

luke was over it.

suddenly, luke leans in, harshly pressing his lips against yours. you retract your hand from his face, pressing it against the wall as you feel his body moving towards you.

he wraps his other hand around your neck, only gently gripping it as to not alarm you.

luke is surprised by how you sink into his grip, pulling away to see your closed eyes and swollen lips. when you wipe your mouth and look at him with those hauntingly innocent eyes, he’s almost fooled.

you scoff, smirking as you tear away from his grip and take a few steps back. “is that all you wanted?” you say confidently, watching him turn around to watch you carefully pace around the room.

he shakes his head, groaning quietly as he walks over to you once more.

luke purses his lips, trying to suppress any sense of genuine attraction to you. but when his eyes gaze over to your red lips and flushed cheeks, he can’t help but let his mind wander.

“if you’re done, you can leave, castellan.” you say irritably, leaning against your bed frame.

it goes straight to his dick when you call him that, especially when your voice sounds so hoarse and cocky. he feels as though he’s finally accomplished what he’s been yearning to do for years now. he’s seeing the real you.

he couldn’t dare squander this opportunity now.

he pushes you down onto your bed, watching how your hair flows over your newly made bedsheets as your head hits the pillow.

“but you don’t want me to leave, do you?” luke says lowly, hovering over your body as his hand hold your wrists together above your head.

“i don’t care what you do, castellan.”

luke groans, pressing another rough kiss against your lips. you kiss back for whatever reason, and your firsts relax within his grip. it was almost as if you got off on the idea of someone calling out your bullshit. or maybe you got off on the idea of somewhat hating your guts. either way, luke knew you were more than eager to continue.

he let go of your wrists, before biting your bottom lip. your mouth opens slightly, offering entry to his tongue, deepening the kiss.

you hand cups his face, while the other grips his shoulder. after a few moments, he pulls away and begins sucking at the skin of your neck, leaving purple marks on your delicate skin while you let out hoarse whimpers.

his hands begin to fiddle with the fabric of your shirt, causing you to push his body forwards as you position yourself to sit on his lap. you take off your shirt, throwing it away as you run your hands down his back.

luke looks down at your chest, growing more aroused at the sight of your lacy little bra. it’s as if you knew someone was going to see it.

you feel a hardness growing from under his jeans, poking against your upper thigh as you slowly grind against his lap. luke let’s put a low moan, continuing to bury his face in your neck.

“i fucking hate you,” he growls, gripping the sides of your waist with his hands as you move against him.

“don’t care, take off your shirt,” you demand hurriedly, running your fingers through his hair as you tilt his head up to look at you.

luke rolls his eyes, before taking off his shirt. he quickly presses another series of harsh kissses against your neck, fiddling with the clasp of your bra as you push your chest up against his. you giggle softly at his incompetence, before he finally unhooks it and ravenously pulls it from your chest.

luke pushes your body backwards onto the bed, trailing kisses down from your neck and onto your tits. you let out a quiet moan, before biting down onto your hand in order to stifle the sound. his large hands knead your left breast, while the other grips the area just under your right breast, resting on top of your ribcage.

luke’s hands slowly move downwards, hip thumb tracing circles against the side of your hip as you gently grasp onto his hair. his fingertips gently pull down your shorts, leaving you in only your underwear.

he rubs his thumb over the wet fabric, before tilting his head to look up at you. “pathetic,” he mutters, smirking at your flushed faced. you groan, burying the back of your head further into the pillow as your back arches involuntarily.

luke’s thumb massages your clit from over the soaking fabric, watching you squirm in response. he lets out a dry laugh, before pulling down your panties and tossing them onto the floor.

“luke…” you moan quietly, closing your eyes as your hips jerk into the mattress. his fingers trace your wet folds, before letting his thumb rub circles against your clit and forcing two fingers inside of you.

you whimper before pursing your lips, rolling your head around as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out. he quickens his pace, pressing down harshly against your clit while beginning to suck on the skin of your upper thigh.

luke holds down your hip with his free hand as you begin to squirm.

suddenly, he stops.

you look at him with a confused expression, your face red as he pulls his fingers out. he chuckles at your disappointed face, before taking off his pants and boxers. you stare at his length unashamedly, biting down on your bottom lip.

“so fucking needy.” he says lowly, his voice horse as he softly begins to continue massaging your clit. you moan, feeling your back arch as he positions himself in front of your legs. he forcefully spreads them open as he teases your folds with the tip of his erect member.

you let out a little whine, your voice trembling as you try to move your hips against his length.

luke rolls his eyes at your poor attempts at penetration, before slowly pushing his cock into your entrance. you let out a breathy, high pitched moan, your hands eagerly gripping your bedsheets.

he gradually pushes in the entirety his length, continuing to rub circles into your clit. luke tightly grips your waist as he begins to slowly pull out, before jamming himself back in. you let out a breathy yelp as you body moves with his thrusts.

like continues relentlessly pushing in and out of you, massaging your waist as his thumb gradually increases the speed of its attack on your clit.

you try to steady you breathing, your face flushed as lukewarm continues to deliberately overwhelm your body.

“mm… luke, i’m gonna…” you mutter, your hips jerking upwards. he smiles at you, amused by how blissed out you look taking his cock. “so soon?” he teases, rapidly moving against your body.

you let out a stammering series of whimpers as your back arches upwards, feeing yourself suddenly release. luke grins, continuing to rub circles into your clit as he rides out your orgasm.

luke slowly retracts his thumb, repositioning the hand to gently grip your hip. he begins to slow down his movements, before quickly thrusting into you repetitively. you squirm, the movements of your hips constrained by his grip.

suddenly, he pulls out, releasing onto your stomach. see? he was a gentleman.

luke gazes over at the girl he just reduced to a panting mess as he stands up and puts his clothes back on. he smiles at you as he zips up his jeans, before kneeling besides you as you turn your head to look at him.

“i wont tell anyone how fucking pathetic you are, don’t worry, princess.”

you nod, staring at him as he continues to look at your defenceless body. “such a pretty girl,” he hums, cupping your face in his hand before kissing your forehead.

he reaches over to your discarded underwear and gently pulls them up your legs, the gesture acting somewhat as a peace offering. he takes a step back, simply taking in how endearingly stupid you look.

you slowly sit yourself up, grabbing your camp t shirt and putting it on. “goodnight, luke,” you choke out, your voice hoarse and breathing shallow. he nods, smiling softly as he turns to walk away. “night, princess.”

[umbrellahat07]

Love that I actually uad nightmares last night. Nightmare before Christmas happening 3am my brain, be there or be square.

[contemplatingoutlander]

How to cover an abnormal presidential race

Could the media coverage adhere closer to reality? Hard questions must be asked.

Jennifer Rubin offers a much needed road map as to how journalists should be covering an election between a politician who upholds democratic values (Biden) vs. a politician who is determined to undermine the Constitution and create a dictatorship (Trump). I wish mainstream journalists would follow her advice. Below are some excerpts, but you can use the gift🎁link to read the entire article.

The United States has never had an election in which: a felon runs for president on a major party ticket; a presidential candidate lays out a detailed plan for authoritarian rule; an entire party gaslights the public (e.g., claiming the president was behind their candidate’s state prosecution; pretending they won the last election); and, prominent leaders of one party signal they will not accept an adverse outcome in the next election. Yet, the coverage of the 2024 campaign is remarkably anodyne, if not oblivious, to the unprecedented nature of this election and its implications. [...] How could the coverage stick more closely to reality? Obsession with early polling that inevitably becomes meaningless after big events such as Trump’s conviction (stuff happens!) and that cannot yet gauge who is likely to vote should go by the wayside — or at least come with caveats and not drive coverage. What would be informative: A minute or two of unedited video showing Trump’s rambling, incoherent and deranged rants. Rather than merely “fact check” the nonsense blizzard, reports can explore the unprecedented nature of his rhetoric, illustrate the deterioration in his thinking and speech, and discuss how an obviously irrational and unhinged leader casts a spell over his devoted following. The media also can refuse to entertain laughable MAGA spin, such as claiming that Trump’s conviction will help him win the election.... When such incidents pop up, informative journalism would examine what else MAGA forces lie about (e.g., crowd size) and how authoritarians depend on creating a false aura of invincibility. When supposedly normal Republican officials parrot Trump’s obvious falsehoods and baseless accusations, interviewers must come prepared to debunk them. Republicans cannot be allowed to slide past hard questions about their election denial, false data points, baseless attacks on the courts and hypocrisy (the law and order party?). Treating Republicans as innocent bystanders in the democracy train wreck distorts reality. And instead of endless harping on President Biden’s age, some honest comparison between the disjointed, frightful interview responses from Trump and the detailed, policy-laden answers from Biden in Time magazine’s two interviews might illuminate the obvious disparity in acuity....There is simply no comparison between Biden, who talks in detail about policy, and Trump, who cannot get through a Newsmax(!) interview without sounding nuts. Likewise, treating Hunter Biden’s case (having nothing to do with the president) as though it were as significant as Trump’s criminal conviction betrays a lack of perspective and a hunger for clicks. Insisting this poses a problem or embarrassment for Biden amounts to amplifying MAGA spin. Finally, given voters’ misunderstanding of the economy, news outlets should focus on the results of Biden’s policies and the likely effect of his opponent’s shockingly inflationary plan. Focusing on the gap between public opinion and economic reality (to which coverage contributes) unwittingly reveals the media’s own shortcomings in educating voters. [emphasis added]

[carmillascrusade]

Shrouded affection finale | Emily Prentiss x f!reader

Summary: Good things don’t always last forever and Emily has a habit of self destructing.

Word count: 4,801

A/N: This is super late because my teachers hate me and keep assigning tests… and dialogue heavy maybe. Has anybody seen the new mean girls yet? I watched it on Sunday. @jellysaidshit @emilxprentiss @poorwritingandstalecoffee

The case was located in San Francisco. When Garcia had presented the case four women had been brutally murdered; each of their limbs broken and twisted in an inhumane way. Just looking at those poor women made you feel sick to your stomach.

How could someone do something like this? So evil. So deranged.

The case itself was long and gruelling. Restless nights made better due to you not having Emily to share your burdens with. You were currently getting ready for drinks at the bar with the team and the police department, a small but well needed celebration for cracking such a tough case.

You and Emily had both decided to just go in your work clothes. After all, you hadn’t packed for celebratory drinks.

Strobing lights obscured your vision as you pushed your way into the bar. Obnoxiously loud music blasted from speakers as you pushed your way through a sea of sweaty, half drunk bodies in hopes of finding your team. Emily’s hand was in yours as you guided her through the crowd, slightly shoving people out of the way in order to make enough room for you to squeeze past.

Emily had given you the rest of her gifts before you had left for the bar. The cool caress of the metal curled around your wrist a welcome reminder of Emily’s love for you. She had bought a gorgeous charm bracelet for you; each charm painstakingly hand crafted by a jeweller to represent significant moments shared between the two of you. You didn’t know how to react when you had opened it, instead you bursted into tears and hung onto Emily for dear life.

She was so thoughtful. So eager to show her love for you.

So perfect.

You couldn’t help but imagine a future with her and what that would entail. The familiar laughing of your teammates notified you of their whereabouts. Penelope’s incoherent spiels drowned out any other conversation in the immediate area, like a fog horn would any other siren. Her bubbly nature despite what you faced regularly would never fail to amaze you. You admired her, truly, for she continued to shine in a world full of darkness; undimmed by the many people wielding instruments meant to snuff her very light.

Emily chuckled beside you, ever amused at Penelope’s antics. The small collection of empty glasses reminded you or Emily’s numerous half full water bottles strewn around the side of her bed. She had told you that they were there for when she got thirsty throughout the night but they never seemed to decrease in number.

It had made you giggle when you had first saw them, Emily’s antics never failing to surprise you. Her quirks made her the person she is and you wouldn’t have it any other way; even if it meant that you were subject to her playing with your hair as she tried to stay awake.

Penelope’s ramblings came to a halt as she seen you approach with Emily trailing behind. A loud squeal pierced the air, causing multiple heads to turn to the direction it came from, searching for the source in mere curiosity. The source being Penelope.

“Hi! I’m so glad you’re here.” She slurred out at you, the consonants in her words drawled out ever so slightly.

“Hi, Penelope.” You greeted cheerily, dropping Emily’s hand in favour of supporting your conversation partner as she began to sway.

Just as you managed to get her back into her seat, the sheriff approached you, sheepishly asking you for a dance. Looking over her shoulder for Emily in the hopes of getting away from an unwanted dance, you were surprised to see her already dancing with someone else.

A beautiful woman at that. The blond woman was whispering in Emily’s ear, something salacious you assumed based on Emily’s vibrant blush and embarrassed chuckle. Your world seemed to slow down as you only seemed to be able to focus on them, heart stuttering in your chest, stomach dropping.

You felt sick. Clearly your little tryst had been just that and nothing more. Once cool metal, a gentle reminder of Emily’s affection for you, burned your skin. You wanted it off. You wanted to leave and never show your face again.

A gentle hand on your arm was the final straw. The tears you had so desperately been holding back finally broke free, pouring out of your tear ducts as water would a burst dam. Your heart was aching, throbbing in anguish, relentlessly beating against your ribcage in an effort to escape the damage associated with heart break.

“Are you okay?” A distant voice called out. Muffled and far away, as a voice would sound if speaking to you through a barrier of water.

Glossy eyes flicked up and met the piercing blue gaze of the sheriff, flooded with concern at your current state. Your response, if you could call it that, came out in a jumble of words. Your eyes flicked back to Emily and the blond to see the woman leading your lover away. No. Emily wasn’t yours.

Seemingly following your pitiful gaze, Sheriff Lister pieced the information together.

“How about we go outside. Get some air, hmm?” She was speaking to you as you would an injured child, gentle and nurturing.

You gripped onto her arm as she led you outside. The tears clouding your vision made leaving the bar far more difficult than it would have been under normal circumstances. Sweet whispers from Lister were occasionally granted to you, grounding you to the present, keeping you out of your head and focussed on the task at hand. Leaving the building.

The night air was cold, borrowing body heat as a neighbour would a cup of sugar. Frost covered the window panes of nearby shops, frigid and distance in the think cover of night. You focussed on your breaths rising as white puffed clouds, willing yourself to calm down.

You knew that Emily had commitment issues You knew that she was unlikely to return your affections. Yet you still pined after her anyways.

A fool.

The telltale click of a lighter sparking to life alerted you once more of the sheriff stood beside you. Her eyes were on you, hawklike in nature as she studied you from underneath her lashes.

“So,” she drawled out the word. “You and your dark haired coworker?”

You nodded feebly, the cold catching up to you now that you had calmed down, subconsciously causing you to draw your body closer to Lister’s. Ever perceptive, she noticed your state and offered you her coat.

“Won’t you be cold?” You asked, not wanting her to freeze because of you.

“I’ll be alright, darling.”

She cheekily grinned at you; the type of grin that would be charming if you weren’t recently subject to such heartache, the type of grin that sent girls like you reeling. You muttered a small thank you. For her jacket or for the kindness she was showing you, you weren’t sure.

“How about we go get some food, hmm? I’m sure some takeout place will still be open.”

Your stomach growling was answer enough.

Emily watched the interaction between you and that sheriff from across the street. Her stomach twisted uncomfortable as she watched her dry your tears, as she watched you wear her jacket and link arms with her. You should have been linking arms with Emily, not some random woman.

But, she couldn’t really blame you for seeking comfort elsewhere. After all, she had been the one to fall back into old habits. She had been the one flirting with another woman, with the full intention of destroying the very new, the very fragile relationship the two of you shared.

Emily Prentiss did not deserve nice things. She didn’t deserve you and your lovely smiles. She didn’t deserve your affection; especially after the stunt she pulled today.

Everything had happened so fast. One moment she was holding your hand, marvelling in your beauty and the next she was leaving the bar with a woman. A woman that wasn’t you.

She had seen you spot her with the blond, had seen your face fall and the tears you had not been able to hold back. And still, she followed the woman all the way until her hotel room.

It wasn’t until she got there that she had realised her mistake. The lips pressing against her were rough and sloppy. Inconsiderate of her feelings. All they sought was pleasure and a fast release.

She had pulled away then, leaving the hotel room with a flimsy excuse thrown over her soldier. What had she done? She yearned for your lips to be the ones on her, for your hands to be the ones touching her. She wanted your soft smiles and saccharine sweet kisses.

She needed them.

But, her self destructive tendencies had won again and she had lost the one thing in her life she wanted the most. You.

You who had to seek comfort in the arms of another woman because she had been the one to deal you pain. You who had been nothing but patient and caring towards her, never pushing her away when you had every right to do so. You who shone brighter then the sun and stars combined, brightening her once dark world until she could no longer feel the deathly grip of her past.

Emily didn’t deserve you. You were too good. Too pure to be corrupted by the likes of her. Yet you had always stayed.

Emily Prentiss had pushed away the only thing she held dear and she was the only person to blame. Her heart seemed to fracture with every step you took away from her, shattering completely as she heard your laugh- the one reserved for her alone- directed at somebody else.

But, she reasoned with herself, she deserved this.

Lister, or Kate as you had quickly learned, had taken you to get pizza, buying a large for the two of you to share. The two of you were currently sat on a park bench, with you giggling at Kate dropping pizza on her shirt and Kate furiously trying to get the stain off.

“You know, rubbing it super hard isn’t going to make the grease stain go away.” You teased before taking another bite of your pizza slice.

Kate narrowed her eyes at you in faux anger. Her rubbing soon stopped as she decided, finally, that it wasn’t doing any help.

“So, you gonna tell me what’s going on between you and what’s she called?”

“Emily?” You supplied.

“Yeah, her.”

“It’s a long story.” You sighed wearily.

“Ehh, I’ve got the time to spare.” She shrugged as she said it before resting her hand on your knee. “But don’t feel pressured into sharing if you don’t want to.”

You smiled at her, sneakily taking the last slice of pizza out of the box while she was distracted.

“ I’m in love with her.”

She laughed at that. “Yeah, anyone with a pair of eyes can see that, sweetheart.”

She received a soft slap to the side in response but you carried on with the story. It seemed that once you started, you couldn’t stop. Everything you had been holding in, keeping secret from your friends, tumbled out of your mouth.

You were crying again. The events of the day being so emotionally overwhelming that you couldn’t help yourself. Kate tutted in sympathy as she drew you into a hug.

“You didn’t deserve any of that.” She assured.

“I know. I know that, I truly do but I can’t help but feel like part of me deserves it.”

“How come?”

“Well, look at her. Emily is amazing. So amazing that she outshines everybody in the room despite just standing there.”

“Hey, you’re not too bad yourself, y’know.” She joked, trying to lighten the sullen and serious atmosphere that had built up.

“I guess.”

Your somber mood was only heightened by the cold chill beginning to set in your bones. Kate walked you back to your hotel room and you thanked her for the night. However, you knew it was getting late and you didn’t want her walking home alone, especially after the gruelling case you had just finished, so you asked if she wanted to stay.

It was the least you could do.

Surprise briefly coloured the faces of your team members before they schooled their features into a more neutral expression. What were you doing with the sheriff?

Emily was seething from where she stood beside JJ. Not only had to went on a late night rendezvous, but you had invited that woman back to your room and she was still here. Laughing and touching your knee without a care in the world.

That was Emily’s job. She was supposed to touch you and make you laugh. You were supposed to look at her like that, not the sheriff.

“What’s going on with those two?” JJ asked, nudging Emily with her elbow.

“I don’t know.” She spat back.

“You know,” she started carefully, not wanting to irritate her friend any further. “I saw you and that blond last night.”

She had said it as a statement rather than an accusation, but the way her eyes narrowed slightly and her gaze pierced through Emily’s suggested otherwise.

“Yeah, what about it?” Emily was getting defensive.

“Well, I don’t think you have the right to be jealous when you were all over that woman last night. We all saw you together.”

Emily huffed in aggravation because she truly had no right to be jealous, but she was. She had shot herself in the foot with her rash decisions last night and it stung. It stung so much that she couldn’t even look in your direction; fearful of your disappointed eyes or, even worse, you looking at another woman the way you once did her.

“They’re all staring you know?” Kate observed with a slight gesture towards your team.

You turned your head to look over at your team, their faces unreadable as they looked at you. Emily, however, was the only one refusing to look in your direction, instead biting her nails. You had always hated that habit of hers, how it brought her so much pain but seemed to be the only thing that soothed her.

The only thing but you.

She wouldn’t even look at you? Your sadness soon turned into anger, however, as you realised that you did not deserve to be strung along like you had been. If she didn’t want to look at you, fine, you wouldn’t bother with her either.

JJ started walking toward you, her curiosity getting the best of her as she drew closer to you and Kate. Did you not have feelings for Emily?

“Hey,”

“Hi Jayje,” you greeted her with a smile.

“Who’s your friend?”

“You know… Kate?” You shot her a questioning look. “We’ve worked with her and her officers the entire case.”

“Well yeah, I know that she’s Sheriff Lister but..”

“What’s she doing here?” You supplied.

JJ nodded, albeit a bit shamefully. Her cheeks and neck tinting red made you smile slightly. You wondered briefly if she had came on behalf of Emily, they were best friends after all, but Emily didn’t care about you.

“Kate took me to get pizza last night and by the time we came back it was too late for her to walk home alone.”

“Oh…” she trailed off before looking back at Emily who was staring off into space. “like a date?”

You and Kate both burst out in to laughter, stomachs tensing almost uncomfortably as you leaned on one another for support. JJ stared at you perplexed. Why were you laughing at her?

“If you’re just going to laugh at me,” she muttered, brows furrowed and lips downturned. “I’ll just go.”

You quickly composed yourself at her upset tone and reached out for her. “JJ, no don’t go. I’m sorry for laughing. It’s just, Kate and I are friends that’s all, I was pretty upset last night and she helped me. That’s all.”

“Upset? What? Why didn’t you tell any of us you were upset?” She questioned. Weren’t you friends?

“Perhaps you should ask your best friend why I was upset.”

Kate and you had shared numbers before parting with each other as neither of you wished to lose the friendship you had quickly formed. The flight back to Quantico was silent, a tense silence at that. None of that mattered now though as you finally back in the comforts of your own home. Your bed a necessary comfort after the tough week you had, it welcomed you as a lover would, warm and comforting.

Sleep evaded your grasp for the majority of the night causing optic to toss and turn in discomfort. What you were not expecting, especially at 4 a.m, was the abrupt knock at your door. You weren’t expecting visitors. Another three knocks rapped against your door. Your heart rate picked up and you reached for the gun in your bedside table before slipping out of the duvet.

It was better to be safe than sorry.

You barely registered the rain beating against the panes of your windows or the wind whistling a familiar tune. Instead you were focussed on the doorframe that loomed in the dimness of your foyer, daring you to get closer to it. Challenging you to a battle of wills.

You weren’t sure who you expected to be behind the door. Perhaps a rage filled criminal looking for vengeance or a renowned serial killer looking to make a reappearance. What, or should you say who, you weren’t expecting to be stood on the other side of the door was Emily.

…

Emily?

You went to slam the door shut, on,y to be stopped by the toe of a doc marten wedged between your dorm and its frame. How dare she knock on your door at this god awful hour. How dare she stop you from closing it. You did not owe her anything and you certainly would not entertain whatever pitiful display this was.

Furiously flinging the door back open, unconcerned with the bang it made against the wall, you jabbed your finger into her chest, effectively shoving her out of the doorway and back into the hallway. “What on earth are you doing here?” You hissed.

“Please,” she begged, eyes downcast shamefully. “please hear me out.”

“No. I don’t think I will.”

A sudden move almost toppled you over. Emily was on her knees, clinging you like her life depended on it, head nestled against your legs.

“Please!” She cried. “Please, please, please…”

Her sobs were muffled by your pyjama bottoms. You were in a state of shock. First of all, what was she doing here? Second of all, what had made her so upset that she was here, in front of you, down on her knees. Her shoulders were shaking alongside her sobs and you couldn’t help but feel slightly sorry for her.

After all, feelings don’t just disintegrate over night and, as ashamed as you were to admit it, you are still in love with her.

You unintentionally let out a frustrated sigh, which seemed to make Emily even more upset. You weren’t really sure how to deal with the situation you had so carelessly been thrown into, so against your better judgement you pulled Emily inside. She wasn’t making it easy though. It is very difficult to move with an adult holding onto your legs.

“Emily!” You admonished. “I cannot move with you clinging on to me as you are!”

Her form shrunk at your tone and you realised that you needed to go about this a different way.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you.” You whispered gently, free hand reaching out the toy with her hair. “Please, can you let go of me so we can go inside? I’m not going anywhere.”

That seemed to get her attention as her head raised to look at you. Your heart shattered at the broken ‘promise?’ she whispered. How could someone make you feel everything and nothing all at once? Emily Prentiss was an enigma. Five minutes ago you were so certain that you hated her. But now? Now, you weren’t sure of how you felt. You weren’t really sure of anything.

It was difficult but you had managed to get her settled on the couch before placing your gun down. She was lied down with your blanket draped over her slumped form. Her tears had subsided for the time being, not that you could see much of her face with your small salt lamp being the only source of illumination.

You were in the kitchen making hot chocolate for the both of you. You had a feeling that it would be a long night. A long, emotional night. Emily’s cup was almost overflowing with the generous amount of marshmallows and whipped cream you had applied to the top of her drink. Yours was less severe.

Plopping down next to her on the couch, careful not to spill the drinks, you handed hers over. You were grateful for the lack of light as it allowed you to study her face without consequence. She was staring at your fireplace, eyes lingering on the framed photo of you and her on the mantle piece, seemingly lost in thought.

Your apartment groaned in discomfort due to the oncoming assault from the storm outside. Emily’s coat had been hung to dry as you ushered her in, thankfully your legs hadn’t gotten wet. The air was chilly from the wind seeping through the cracks of your windows. Emily was currently covered with the only blanket in the living room. If only you weren’t so considerate.

Your subtle shivers seemed to rouse Emily from whatever daydream she had found herself in.

“We can share the blanket if you want.” Her voice was so quiet that you barely heard it over the storm. She lifted her arm, allowing you to get under the blanket but you declined.

You couldn’t stand being that close to her. Not now. Not after that night.

“I’m alright.” You hadn’t mean to sound so cold.

Emily deflated at your disinterest in being close to her and you were starting to get antsy. Your fingers drummed against your leg in short, consecutive movements- a self soothing gesture you find yourself doing during times of high stress.

“Why are you here?” Blurted out of your mouth before you could stop it. It may have been blunt but you want, no need, answers.

“I wanted to talk.”

“We have nothing to talk about.” You scoffed.

“Please,” she begged, reaching out for your hands. Silently grateful that you didn’t pull away when she put her hands in yours.

“Make it quick.”

“What is she to you?” She asked, sliding onto her knees so she could sit in front of you.

You laughed. Full belly laughed in her face at the audacity she had to ask you that question. “Excuse me? You do not get to ask me that. Not after you had your tongue down another woman’s throat.”

You were beyond angry. How dare she ruin what you have and then come to your apartment in the middle of the night begging to talk. Snatching your hands out of hers, you pushed her away from you and moved through the dark halls of your apartment, wanting nothing more than the comfort of your bed and Emily gone.

“You can leave now, Emily.”

She scrambled up from the ground and ran after you. You wanted to cry as you heard the her crash into your furniture. Not only did she have to break your heart but she had to break your furniture too. One minute you were in your bed alone and the next Emily was on top of you. Clutching onto your shirt, head hurried in your neck as she started crying again.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“We were never together.” You couldn’t help but want to be mean back but there was also a question on the tip of your tongue, itching to be released. “Why’d you do it, Emily? Why’d you go home with her.”

“I didn’t!” Her voice rose exponentially before she controlled her outburst and lowered her tone. “Well, I did but we didn’t do anything. I promise! You have to believe me. She wasn’t you.”

“Why did you do it?” You repeated.

“I was scared. Everything I had ever wanted had finally fallen into my hands and I didn’t know what to do with it. You’re so perfect and I knew that I didn’t, no I don’t, deserve you. I’m sorry.” Her words were kind of officiating to hear through her stutters but you could make them out.

“Sorry isn’t good enough.” You were being petty and you knew it but you wanted her to feel the same gut wrenching feeling that you had. Attempting to sit up, you pushed her off slightly, only for her to clutch onto you even harder. “Perhaps you should go find another woman to entertain yourself with. I’m not sure if a relationship with you is worth pursuing.”

“Don’t say that. Please don’t say that.”

“I can’t trust you, Emily. How do I know you’re not going to run off into another woman’s arms as soon as things get tough?”

“Please, I’ve realised my mistake. You know I’ll never do anything if the sort ever again.”

“I don’t.” You whispered, heart feeling like it was been torn from your chest with every word you spoke.

Your eyes refused to meet hers and she couldn’t stand it. She reached up and cupped your face with both of your hands, gently turning your head so that you would be looking into her eyes. You were shutting her out but she needed you to listen. She needed you to know how much you meant to her.

“You don’t know how much you mean to me. I would defy the laws of the universe if it meant, however selfish that may be, that I got to spend eternity with you. One lifetime is not enough. I will always crave, no need; I will always need that moment more, that second longer, because I am utterly and hopelessly devoted to you.”

“Oh, please.” You scoff. “You were all over her!”

“And you weren’t all over that sheriff?!”

“Kate,” you fumed, jabbing her in the chest with your pouter finger. “Was there for me because you made me cry. You do not get to bring her into this argument when she’s been nothing but kind to me.”

The reminder of the misfortune she had caused you made her look like a wounded puppy, ashamed and guilt ridden. “I love you.” Her confession was accompanied with tear filled eyes and a wobbly voice.

“I’m not sure you do.” You felt as if the world had stopped as you muttered the words. Was this the end for you and Emily? Had your relationship stopped before it truly started?

“Don’t you love me?” She cried, desperate to hear you say it, just once.

“I do.”

“Then why are you pushing me away?!”

“ I don’t want you to hurt me again.” You confessed.

“I won’t.” Was repeated over and over. Soft promised whispered into your ear and lips as you finally accepted her embrace.

Chapped lips met yours, moving against you so softly and slowly as if they were afraid you would bolt away at any sudden movement. Two tear stained faces met each other in the middle, seeking out the comfort only achievable from being close to the other person. Tentative smiles played on your lips as you briefly pulled away, reflecting a mixture of relief and apprehension.

Emily’s hand found the back of your head ands yours the small of her back, the gestures being both reassuring and vulnerable at the same time. Your eyes locked with hers as you both silently acknowledged the mistake she made and, Jody importantly, the lesson she had learned from it.

Your heart felt like it was about to leap into the unknown. The air between you was charged with the whispers of forgiveness and the feeling of heartache beginning to lift. Your touch became Emily’s lifeline, grounding her to the present. You were here and you weren’t leaving.

As your lips met once more, you knew that you and Emily would share a future; one tinged with the promise of redemption and no more heartbreak. The kiss mended broken threads and bridged the gaps that had seemed to have been too vast to fill.

Yes. The two of you were going to be okay.

Chapter one, chapter two, chapter three

[kragehund-est]

one of my coworkers tried to "both sides suck" about the debate. but like. kamala's worst was normal politician bs and trumps worst was deranged incoherent ramblings. so that's not really applicable here

[mithrifer]

Okay this is that big HB S2 E7 post I promised yesterday!

Well, I'm saying big but like idk how long it'll end up being, I just plan on dumping everything inside my brain here. (should I have used another pic? dunno lol). Please excuse me if this is hard to read/is incoherent, I'm just rambling all of my thoughts out. I hope it makes sense at the end.

Where to start, where to start... I suppose I can start with Fizzy, he's kind of the connection point for Asmodeus, Mammon and all of their extra messy relationships. Which I want to dig right into!

So, Fizzarolli huh?

Now, I think Fizzarolli is downright adorable; which was only accentuated due to me watching episode 6 and 7 together, I had just found out not one but two episodes came out yesterday. I think I got some sort of fluff overdose because I told my friends something totally deranged after I was done, from which a surprisingly insightful conversation started, and I just had to share what I came up with there.

In this episode especially, though also a little in episode 6, Fizzy is just all over the place. And I mean that in the personal way. He's like a rollercoaster of emotions, diving into anxiety and doubt them surging into confidence and joy. Just a mess, really. I love him for that.

But well, from the reception I've seen of this episode, and this is purely anecdotal I am not some Helluva fandom expert, it seems like people think all of his stuff is just... resolved? Like the biggest danger people talk about is the future revenge Mammon is going to inflict upon our cute yaoi couple, or whatever!

I sure hope not! Because the way I see it, nothing about Fizzarolli's situation can be defined as "over".

So, Mammon is Fizzy's idol. He has been since the imp was five, he took him in when Fizz was at his most vulnerable, he built him into a giant sensation, he's the reason he knows Asmodeus at all, and Fizz still greatly cared about his thoughts and wanted to be "perfect" for him; the imp being keenly aware of all of this... All until Ozzy and he had a little prance around the dress room, and then Fizz made a really cool show all about how much his boss sucked and how he quit, then they all lived happily ever after.

Let's acknowledge the elephant in the room. Or rather the rooster.

Fizzarolli and Asmodeus' relationship is kind of sus when you think about it, isn't it?

I think this has been a thing ever since Ozzy was first introduced, but it was made especially clear to me during these last two episodes. So, what do you think of when you see the two interact? That they love each other very much?

Well, yeah! They do.

Okay then Mith, why did you take your time to point this out? Where's the sinister reveal? Does he beat our clown boy behind doors, or something?

No. But I don't think their relationship is healthy, either. I'd go so far as to say it's abusive.

The way Asmodeus and Fizzarolli deal with each other is certainly weird! More specifically, the way Asmodeus tries to handle his relationship. I doubt any of you would disagree with me if I said Asmodeus was controlling, but it goes beyond that. He is manipulative and untrusting as well.

First, let's explore the dynamics of their relationship. Asmodeus is the king of lust, one of the strongest and most influential demons in hell. He's caring, concerned and uplifting towards Fizzarolli, his boyfriend. Him, on the other hand, is a performer imp clown. A pretty famous one. Fizz is anxious and a perfectionist, but he's also upbeat, creative and also caring.

Fizzarolli, if episode 6 and 7 didn't make it evidently clear, is very dependent on others around him. Not only that, but those whom he is dependent on hold a sway over him. Whether its Asmodeus or Mammon, their words are arrows shot directly at his heart.

So it's certainly concerning when Asmodeus expresses how he doesn't want Fizz going out alone, finds himself "justified" in his beliefs twice, and also really just can't stand that other guy his poor boyfriend worries so much about!

What am I saying here, exactly? Why is Asmodeus trying to curb Fizzy's agency? Why doesn't Asmodeus trust him to make his own decisions? And why did he overstep his boundaries by going to that show?

Isn't it clear? Asmodeus loves him. He just wants the best for Fizzarolli. And that is precisely why he's abusing him. See, if Fizzarolli wasn't oh so fragile maybe he could go out on his own without being bothered, or if he could make coherent decisions that didn't involve giving himself panic attacks to please some fat asshole he wouldn't intervene behind his back, or if he could just let Asmodeus handle things everything would be just fine... Because Asmodeus can. He can and would do everything for him, and Fizz can depend on him.

I don't think he's even aware he's harming Fizz by not trusting him. I don't think someone who hated love until a few months ago, understands how to love. He only knows how he feels, and when he's with Fizz, with that smile on his face, he's happy.

I came upon this realization about their relationship right after the last scene. To get into that though...

Mammon

Asmodeus can't be that bad! I mean, just look at this guy? He doesn't even care for Fizz one bit! At least Ozzy loves him, Mammy was just using him!

You're sort of right! Asmodeus is so much better than Mammon. And Mammon is using him, which sucks! That's the part where you're right.

Mammon, does, however; very obviously care about Fizzarolli.

It shouldn't come off as that much of a surprise, I think. He spent years with him. He constantly carries two robot copies of him around with him. He is actually concerned for a moment when Fizzarolli is stressing out, even though he's mean and demanding. He loves his show, even if it's shitting on Mammon; and the list goes on.

But I don't think any character within the series is aware of that, including Mammon himself. The closest thing I can think of is Fizzarolli deluding(?) himself into thinking his idol does.

Fizz has the motivation to believe Mammon would care about him, after all. He practically saved his life, he's his idol, and he just wants him to be perfect.

But why wouldn't Mammon just be upfront about that?

Funny thing about owning things is that you don't really notice their values until you lose them. Still, you try and keep what you have. Mammon throws pageants every year, knowing full well Fizzy is going to win, even with competition. It does make a shit ton of money, sure, but there are probably better, easier, cheaper ways to promote his favorite. Why bother?

Fizz happens to come back every time. Which is great for profit.

Why did he get so mad when Fizz told him he quit? It certainly wasn't due to the crass words used. He loved that show, and begrudgingly watched even after realizing it was about him. So why? It's not like he lost out on anything. Fizz is just a clown imp. He's completely replacable...

Mammon is really greedy. He doesn't want to let go of Fizzarolli. Fizz is his. He spent way too much time and money on Fizz. He's had way too much fun with Fizz. And in the end, he's irreplacable, isn't he? Not out of any pragmatic or practical reasons, but because Mammon wants him. (read into this any way you want).

But... why does how Mammon feels about Fizz even matter? He's just reaping what he has sown. He deserves being abandoned.

You're completely right. Here is the thing though.

It isn't what Fizzarolli wants

Ummm Mithmints were you deaf or somethang? The fuck you song?

I won't beat around the bush this time, because I've already mentioned this. Asmodeus spends the entire episode trying to supplant the relationship between Fizzarolli and Mammon. He has every right to hold disdain for their incredibly toxic situation, but he goes behind his boyfriends back for this and even contacts his bestie for sabotage. So when Fizzarolli goes onto the stage ready to scream fuck you I quit (as he should) at the asshole who made him rise to fame, the asshole who was his idol from five, the asshole whom he wanted to be perfect for just minutes ago; right after an incredibly vulnerable moment where his sweet hunky boyfriend told him how he was just perfect the way he is and didn't need anything, after which they had a cute little dance.

For some reason, I don't think Fizzarolli is going to be very proud of his incredibly rash decision once the adrenaline goes down and he feels hesitation and guilt towards a deed done. If Fizzy had a rational moment to think about cutting things off with Mammon, I don't think he would pick the method he did, even with his love for performance. Because years of obsession and care don't go away with a two minute song. Don't worry though, Asmodeus will make sure he's more than happy with the path he picked.

...So?

Uh... What "so?"? Are you asking me if I was going anywhere with this? Well, definitely not anywhere specific! I kind of just wanted to examine their situations!

Okay, so, here are my direct thoughts based on what we established.

Fizzarolli loves both Asmodeus and Mammon (feel free to pick how for the latter) but he is very anxious and dependant. He makes a completely justified yet rash decision to cut Mammon off, something he will personally regret. Both of these people hurt Fizzy, but the former is a lot nicer about it.

Asmodeus loves Fizzy, and I don't think he was exaggarating when he said he was the best thing that happened to him during that scene. As a result, he cares deeply about him, and can't bear to see him get hurt. I think Asmodeus thinks that as long as Fizzy is safe and happy, everything is just fine. So he takes the initiative to keep Fizzy from harm, cut him off from assholes from his past, and even go behind his back to do these things. He doesn't trust Fizzarolli to lead his own life, but I don't think he realizes he even should. As long as he's around, Fizz can always stay with him and depend on him. As a cardinal sin, it's not like he's going anywhere. And with that other guy out of the way, Fizz doesn't have anywhere else to go to, even if he for whatever reason wanted to. (I do not think Blitzo could support Fizzarolli in such a way, don't get me wrong, he would definitely try, but I can't imagine it ending well. Their lives just contrast a little too much.)

Mammon just lost out on his favorite clown, and he's very upset about it. I don't think he can parse out why he's so bothered, exactly! It's just Fizzarolli. He just cut him off and quit. It's not like the king of greed needs a clown imp for anything. But I think he's going to feel that vacancy in his life. Like something has been removed and he just can't fill it back up. I can't imagine him being accustomed to loss with all of his avarice. I think he'll find he hates it more than anyone else could.

See Asmodeus and Mammon are like perfect opposites to each other. Asmodeus gives, and Mammon takes. Lust is two sided, while Greed just has one. They're both manipulative, but Asmodeus' nature makes him not even realize it, while Mammon revels in it. I think that's really fun.

So time to get into epic headcanon/scenario making time!

You know how Asmodeus used to think love sucked? Well, what if Mammon and Asmodeus were exes? See, Mammodeus (especially before and without Fizz) would be a complete disaster. The previous opposition would just completely drain Asmodeus as a person, while Mammon would grow spoiled and unsatisfied. I think it would be pretty traumatizing. But I can't really stop thinking about a post-Fizz version of it, maybe set sometime after canon in a universe where Fizz elects to dump Ozzy after noticing his agency being taken away. instead of reconciling with him. I think it would start out as hatesex disaster, but it would quickly evolve into something more substantial. I think Asmodeus would be able to build something great there, having learned how to be a better lover from Fizz.

To be honest any of the pairings or a throupling has massive potential with these three characters. I'm also a big Flitz(?) fan so it was good to see all the scenes between them too. But maybe that's a post for another day.

Feel free to tell me in the comments or reblogs how hard my takes suck and how fizzaozzy or fizzmodeus is 100% healthy. If you can convince me you get a gold star and a big kiss on the cheek!

[actualbird]

hello zak! i just showed my friend (who isn't into tot, but she had to suffer from listening to my incoherent tot ramblings) your volume 2 nxx investigation team behavioral studies, and she wants to say:

"please continue to be in this fandom, your presence is a blessing. for a lack of better word, you are like the fandom cornerstone. every fandom would wish to have someone like you in them"

in other words, your analyses cooked so hard (also in her words), she doesn't even go here and she enjoyed it very well. she also wonders if tot fans are okay /lh DASDJHASLJDH

HI CHIKAAAAAA!!! what a surprise to see in my ask box not on anon for once HAHA.

that aside, oh gosh oh gOSH THIS IS SO SWEET OF YOUR FRIEND TO SAY :((((((( first off, thank you for sharing the nxx analyses compilation with her, im glad it's something that crossed your mind because that means it hopefully made an impact on you too :"3

second off, IM SO FLATTERED UUUWAAAAAAHHHH //sniffling. i surely do hope people like having me in fandom ;w; frankly all i wanted to do with the nxx analyses volumes 1 and 2 was share my deranged ramblings to people. so to think that those deranged ramblings were enough for ur friend to say such kind words huhuhu, im emo ;-;

thank you both to you and your friend!!! im rlly rlly awed to get that kind of feedback, it warms my heart

ps: no tot fans are not okay. we're never okay. KLBDDSJFBLSDJF

[weebsinstash]

Hey so this is gonna seem wildly out of place considering I've been on my superhero shit lately but, the trailer for the new pokemon sv dlc just dropped and while I probably won't get it idk, seeing Adaman's descendant reminded me of an idea I had for him back when Legends Arceus was released and I was binging that game nonstop (and actually might play through it again honestly, I'm so psyched about the black/white legends remake rumors)

But like. In Legends Arceus you are quite literally isekai'd through time and space and meet two separate cultures who literally worship those things and if you take it on a more like, meta level, and consider your reader/trainer as someone who has had, you know, all of or most of your own "pokemon experiences", then, this all happens after your adventures in Diamond/Pearl too, so

You literally just fucking travel back in time, meet the guy who is literally dedicating his life to the reverence of, in casual conversation you're just like "wait are you guys confusing dialga and palkia with arceus, theres like 3, youre talking about 3 different pokemon, its like, time, space, and creation", you're from the actual future, and you both wind up meeting THE Dialga trying to fight you and all and you're just like "wait so if you're like a time God then, you should have all of your own memories across time and, even though this is in the past, you should still technically remember me from the future so, please don't kill me maybe??? Weren't we besties??? 🥺🥺🥺" And it totally works and you get the actual time god Pokemon to calm down cause That's Like Your Weird Pet that you're also friends with and like, would Adaman not just actually worship you at that point, you're practically a holy figure

You're over here showing Dialga what a malasada tastes like and catching up on old times meanwhile Adaman is instructing all his followers to revere you with respect as some sort of, symbolic figurehead, like, the saint/saintess/pope or whatever, but also like, He's Totally Down Bad In A Creepy Way. By all means, let him take care of your every care and anxiety. Step on his own body as to not soil yourself in puddles if you so wish. Please continue to go on your long-winded rants on things from the future where you constantly have to explain new concepts and ideas to him, teaching him all sorts of knowledge that he records with the utmost dedication

He wants to give you everything, do everything, except for... letting you go back home, anyways ^^; like, OBVIOUSLY you were sent back in time with some sort of, divine purpose and reason, so, like... shut up maybe! Just be cool with it when he lures you into the Diamond Clan territory one day and suddenly doesn't let you leave! It's chill, he's taking your pokemon and all your items for safe keeping, duh! You don't need things that might help you escape anyways, silly 😊 he has to show his gratitude and respect for you for saving the world and also. Just, you know. Let him like, rub oil on you and pray to you and stuff from time to time maybe! Let him oil up his hands and touch your body in a totally not sexually charged way as he's murmuring all kinds of delusional incoherent ramblings under his breath ranging from some sort of actual like, PRAYER to, deranged horny drooling, and, also, Google says he's estimated to be over 6" so, that's always nice 👀 helps with the... forced worship based man-handling...

[all-for-geek]

The Cal Who Kinda Liked Musicals - Chapter 2: Just a Typical Day...

Chapter 1

Chapter 3

Fandom: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals/Starkid/Hatchetfield

Summary: What starts as a fun musical adventure slowly turns into a theatrical nightmare. Maybe someone should've thought about the implications.

Word Count: 1,798

@micropeter I hope you enjoy :)

Saying Cal woke up the next morning would imply that they went to sleep. They got a couple hours at least. It was enough to remain functional but not enough to trigger any nightmares. They grabbed a Monster out of the fridge that would be their lifeline for the day before heading off to work. 

A funky bass line was the music for today’s walk. Cal tapped their fingers along to it, the drum beat mimicking their rhythm. It wasn’t until they looked around and noticed people along the street dancing that they realized the music wasn’t just in their head. Cal continued drumming, bouncing in and out of people’s way to not disrupt the flash mob.

Their beat faltered when Pete popped up in front of them. They shuffled back, leaning on the back of the person behind them as their knees bent on beat. He smiled at Cal widely, holding out his hand. They chuckled, but it didn’t take any convincing for them to take it. The music around them swelled as Pete led Cal in a series of complicated lifts and twirls and steps, Cal following close behind as the music hummed around them.

On the final beat, Pete spun Cal into his arms, dipping them. Cal blushed, smiling up at him a little out of breath. He smiled at them almost curiously, pulling them back onto their feet and dangerously close to him in one fluid motion. Cal’s blush only deepened.

“I-I didn’t know you could dance like that,” they stammered out.

“You’ll find that I’m just full of surprises, Cal,” he says, his voice modulating in perfect pitch, “I think you are too.”

Before they had the chance to ask him what he meant, Cal remembered why they were out here in the first place.

“Shit I gotta get to work!”

Pete’s hold on them loosened enough for them to slip away, the blue-haired teen racing down the street.

“I’ll see you around, Cal!” he called out, a sense of finality in his tone that Cal didn’t pick up on.

“Yeah! See ya later!”

Cal wasn’t the only one who got caught up in the flash mob. As they walked into the work, they could hear incoherent mumbling coming from near the break room. Curious, they poked their head inside. Paul was pacing the floor, knocking his fists together while Bill, Charlotte, and Ted looked at him concerned. Well, Bill and Charlotte looked concerned at least.

“What’s going on with him?” they asked as they entered the room.

Bill opened his mouth to answer, but Paul started rambling. “They were singing…and dancing…like it was some kind of…musical.”

“Oooooooooh. You got caught in the flash mob too, huh?”

Paul turned to Cal, nodding slowly with a deranged smile on his face. “Yes, of course, it was a flash mob. Right.”

“Cal please tell me you took a video of it,” Ted interrupted.

They shook their head.

“Oh god damnit, Cal you’re fucking useless!”

The teen rolled their eyes. “Just ask Pete about it. I’m sure someone there took a video.”

Ted eyed them, confused. “What?”

“He was part of the flash mob. Did pretty good too.”

“...that little nerd joined a flash mob and he didn’t tell me?!” Ted scoffed.

The two are interrupted by the clattering of the coffee pot. Charlotte stood above it, chuckling awkwardly. “Sorry, everyone.”

Ted hummed, half-heartedly scooping the coffee pot up while Bill went to find a janitor. Cal eyed the visibly frazzled woman.

“You alright, Charlotte?” 

Charlotte smiled at them. “I’m fine it’s just…oh it’s nothing. I’m just being silly.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothing, doll,” Ted muttered nonchalantly, a thick layer of apathy masking his concern.

Charlotte tapped the mug in her hand nervously. “Well, Sam, my husband, he got home real late last night…”

Ted scoffed. “He didn’t come home at all.”

The other three in the room paused, staring at Ted. Paul seemed more concerned with what Charlotte was going to say, Charlotte herself looked mortified, but the face that made Ted pause the most was Cal’s. Their mouth hung open, the corners beginning to twitch upward.

“...I heard I wasn’t there.” He tacked on the sentence at the end, but the damage had already been done.

Charlotte continued on to say something about Sam singing in the shower which seemed to upset Paul even more, but neither Cal nor Ted were paying much attention. Both kept glancing at the other in devious excitement and justified fear respectively. Thankfully for Ted, Melissa walked in. It caused enough of a distraction that he slipped out before Cal could follow. Still, it was only a matter of time before… 

“FUCKING CHARLOTTE?!” Cal bursted through Ted’s office door.

The man practically jumped out of his seat, slamming his laptop shut. “KNOCK YOU LITTLE SHIT! And keep your voice fucking down.”

Cal flinched at the sudden noise, but quickly recovered. “Oh, I’m sorry, let me try again.” They cleared their throat before whisper shouting, “Fucking Charlotte?!”

Ted rolled his eyes, leaning back in the chair. “What can I say? She fell for the old Spankoffski charm.”

Cal shivered. “Ew. Gross. Stop. Also, isn't she married?”

“Like that’s ever stopped me-”

“To a cop that looks like he wouldn’t think twice about killing a grandma?”

Ted paused, his cocky swagger faltering slightly. “Sam’s a scumbag. No doubt about it. But I’ve been a sleazeball for longer. I know what I’m doing.”

“Oh? Is that what that little comment in the break room was? Knowing what you were doing?”

“You know, would it kill you to shut your mouth? Just once. Ever.”

“Probably.”

Ted rolled his eyes. “Last I checked, Char and I are two consenting adults allowed to make our own poor life choices. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Oh if you’re gonna give me a hard time for what’s not going on between me and Pete you sure as shit know that I’m gonna give you a hard time about what is going on with you two.”

Ted blinked. “I hate you. So, so much.”

Cal gave him a shit-eating grin. “Thank you.”

“Not a compliment.”

“From you? Yes it is.”

“No it’s not!”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it-”

Before they could continue like that for hours…again, their witty banter was interrupted by some music blasting in the hall. It sounded oddly similar to the music from the flash mob.

“The hell…” Cal walked over to the door, peeking outside. “Uh…hey, Ted?”

“What?”

“If you want that video of the flash mob, now might be the time.”

Ted popped up from his chair, looking out at the musical extravaganza going on in the hallway. Most of the office was humming and bustling around in perfect time. The clicks of the computers and beeps of the printers kept the beat as they bounced around the hallways. A few people were eyeing the commotion, slightly concerned. Bill kept a polite smile on his face while his co-workers danced around. Charlotte was visibly shaking.

As Ted walked over to Charlotte, Cal’s eyes traveled to Melissa. Her cheery smile was wider than normal as she approached one of the confused co-workers, ushering them into Davidson’s office. Her smile seemed to widen as she closed the door on a downbeat. A few minutes later, the employee exited, humming along with everyone else. Cal rushed over to Charlotte’s desk, sidestepping the dancing co-workers as they kept dancing in front of them. Almost like they were trying to block them in.

“Look, we gotta get outta here. There is some fuck shit going on, and it’s giving me every bad feeling known to man and-”

Cal’s ramble was interrupted as Ted placed a hand on their shoulder. “Kid, chill. It’s probably just some weird prank or something.”

Cal shook their head. Something was wrong. They couldn’t put their finger on what, but something was. Their face paled as Melissa approached them.

“Cal, there you are. We’ve been looking all over for you!” Her voice resonated, speaking in a melodic pattern. “Mr. Davidson wanted to speak to you in his office.”

“Nope!” Ted muttered. Even if this was a dumb prank, it was going too far. Neither Cal nor Charlotte needed much more convincing as the three made a beeline for the door with Bill not far behind them, much to Ted’s chagrin.

People were singing everywhere they went. The butcher, the baker, the post office. There was a song around every corner. It unsettled something deep within Cal. This was more than a flash mob or some elaborate prank. Something was wrong.

The four dodged past the elaborate musical numbers, racing out of downtown. Luckily, no one seemed that interested in them, too engrossed in their choreography to pay much mind to a few stragglers. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. They would be joining them soon enough.

They ran until they reached a residential area just out of downtown. One clear of any people. They all stumbled to a stop, panting heavily. Bill gasps for air, bent down over his knees.

“What…the hell…is going on?” he forced out.

Cal shook their head, still pacing slightly. Despite their legs burning from exhaustion, they couldn’t seem to stand still.

“Why would everyone be singing? Why now shit like this doesn’t happen overnight what the fuck happened what was going on in his office…” As Cal continued to mutter, the streetlight above them started flickering. A firm hand squeezed their shoulders. They’re turned around, Ted looking them dead in the eyes.

“Calm your ass, kid.”

Cal paused, nodding. The light stopped flickering.

“What do we do?” Charlotte asked, “We can’t keep running forever.”

“Get the hell out of town?” Cal suggested.

“And go where? Fuckin’ Clivesdale?” Ted cringed.

“Besides, the bridge is back through downtown,” Bill adds.

“Well is there anywhere else we could go?” Charlotte asked desperately.

“We could hide out in the Witchwood!”

Ted groans at Cal. “Kid, what is with you and the fucking Witchwood?!”

“Don’t see you coming up with any ideas, asshole!”

Ted grumbled, looking around before his eyes lit up. “The trash cans.”

The other three looked at him. “...the what?!”

“Hide in the trash cans. No one will expect it. The singing fucks won’t even look in their if we’re quiet.” Ted nodded, confirming his totally foolproof plan.

Ted rushed over to the trash cans, Charlotte following close behind him. Bill watched for a moment before shrugging and making his way over, leaving Cal staring at Ted bewildered.

“That’s your master plan?! Hide in a trash can for who knows how long?!”

“It’s better than the creepy fucking haunted forest!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Cal mumbled, walking over and climbing into a trash can.

[frostyreturns]

Frosty Ruins Bros

This is one of those movies that you know even before it begins that it will devolve entirely into politics and that most of them wont even have anything to do with being gay. I was prepared for the worst, but I wasn't even prepared for this overly hamfisted political rambling to happen within the first minute of the movie. You do not even have the premise of the movie introduced before the writers have already complained about "cis straight white men." And less than two minutes into the movie they are already promoting the idea of gay books for kids.

But it's not all bad I do have to give the writers credit for honesty, early on there are some very mask off lines. For example a producer is trying to make a gay romcom (because everything has to be meta and self aware now) and says that love is love and gays are basically the same as straight couples and the gay character says that that was just propaganda to get straight people to tolerate and accept gays because in reality gay couples are absolutely nothing like straight couples.

They also admit it's an inherently more sexually deviant lifestyle and to mock the idea that gay couples are just like everyone else they do a joke where a gay couple calls their parents to tell them about introducing a third person into their sex lives like as though they were making a baby announcement. Credit where its due that was kinda funny, I think maybe we've gotten to the point where these people are so out of touch with reality they don't realize the message they are communicating. They've gotten so pushy and so comfortable that suddenly the propaganda of the past needs to be thrown out, because we've reached the period of subversion where their constant desire for representation and validation has superceded the need to cling to lies that helped them achieve that level of comfort. It's not enough that there's a gay person in every show...we need the gay person in every show to be a deranged overlypolitical sex lunatic and an unlikeable chode or else it's not accurate representation.

It's weird to see the main character playing a character who isn't an over the top cartoon, like he played in parks and rec, It's offputting. And he's not a good actor he's ill suited for this role, they even make a comment along this line by saying a gay guy playing a gay guy isn't acting…no shit, but they do it in a meta selfcongratulatory way because they actually cast gay men to play gay men. So they are essentially celebrating choosing gay people over actors...in a movie...and it shows because the acting is terrible. You get the impression he's being himself half the time and when he's not you can tell painfully clearly he's acting… his line deliveries seem forced and off tempo…it's like watching a hallmark movie if it was written by degenerate retards. It doesn't help that the main character isn't a person he's just a recepticle for the variety of ranting and political speeches that the writers want to make. Honestly it's like someone read a tumblr thread of the most incoherent unhinged gay people ranting and then thought how can i turn that into movie dialogue…and then quit halfway and said good enough.

Speaking of offputting a lot of what they expect to be comedy just comes off as empty and deeply sad. Like the part where he tries to have an anonymous meetup with a stranger but has to take a picture of his ass first and cuts himself shaving and freaks out because now "he can't shit or have sex"…am I supposed to be laughing. It's like a darker Judd Apatow movie but they took out the comedy the relatability and the redeeming qualities.

And the dialogue is what you would expect, it's incoherent nonsense, they do make an attempt to poke fun at themselves by having social justice arguments and debating who needs more representation displaying the ridiculousness of the ideas but even so it just comes off as annoying and tiresome. This movie is exhausting to listen to. If I wanted to hear someone complain that they say faggot in a movie from ten years ago I'd check myself for brain damage.

the movie is also just gross, they play romantic music while two dudes speedrun through a bunch of weird fetishes and do drugs. It's soft porn, it's as graphic as it can be without showing any actual sex. On that basis alone I highly recommend not watching it.

All of that aside the b plot that's just there to be backdrop for the "romance" is the opposite of interesting…not just uninteresting…it is as far from it as you can possibly be. Unless what you find interesting is a very unlikeable gay dude trying to produce a lincoln is gay exhibit in a gay museum. They spend half the movie complaining about gay representation not being good enough because it's too sanitized and hallmark but then use all the same cheesy cliches but just add in needless nauseating raunch. Like imagine American Pie but there's no jokes and everyone is in their mid 30's.

I can't even review the plot more than that because it's just so boring and pointless, it doesn't matter what happens because it's not interesting and you don't care...and it's very predictable.

The battle cry of the movie was that gays are not nice clean cut normal people like you or I and are actually messy obnoxious douchebags who lead hollow lives that are almost entirely fueled by degenerate, cold, mostly anonymous and awkward sex. To which I say...sure, duly noted. Now you might be thinking hey that's just your interpretation because you're a homophobe, to you I say that you give the movie too much credit, you assume the themes would be delivered with subtlety and would be open to interpretation...this is not the case. I know those are the themes because the characters in the movie told me over and over again that those were the themes.

It's not as bad as bottoms was but it's still one of the worst movies I've ever watched. After having watched it the accusations of "homophobia" being the only reason people didn't like this or want to see it sounds extra dishonest because it wasn't just a bad movie it was abysmal in every way possible. I feel like I need a shower after watching this.

F

[stormyoceans]

Hello! I’m curious about something, did P’Aof also write Last Twilight apart from directing it? Or is it adapted from a novel?

(Also I love your little long ramblings, going insane-ness and the way you always write in caps when you’re talking about LT it’s so funny to me but it also simultaneously makes me even more excited for the show 😭<3)

FIRST OF ALL HI HELLO THAT’S SO SWEET OF YOU TO SAY 🥺 if my long little ramblings, incoherent wailings and general derangement about last twilight can make you smile even a little then im really happy!!!!

as for your question, last twilight is an original screenplay!!! it was written by p’aof along with bee pongsate and best kittisak. only in a second moment the screenplay was adapted into a novel, which came out a couple of weeks ago and is now being sold on the GMMTV shop, so it followed the opposite process that we usually get for movies and tv shows

right now the novel is only available in thai, but hopefully they're gonna eventually translate it in english too!!!