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engelsindleuchtfeuer · 2 months ago

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Walking through the picturesque streets of Cardinal Hill, you find Ludwig Engel, the 31 year old mechanic at Romano’s originally from Dresden, Saxony, Germany. Living alongside them in such a small town, you know that they're compassionate and , but what you might not know is that they are a human, and that they’re hiding something… ― Max Riemelt, bisexual, male, and he/him.

previous threads - visage - musings - wanted connections

current threads - mood board

Name: Ludwig Johann Engel

Alias: Lud, Luddy, Ludo, Lutz

Gender/Pronouns: Male, He/Him

Age: 31

Birthdate: 11/15/1959

Big Three: Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn

Occupation: mechanic at Romano's and part time boxing coach

Height: 5’11”

Hometown: Dresden, Saxony, Germany

Family: late mother (Greta Engel), father (Johann Engel), late older brother (Gunther Engel), younger sister (Katrin Engel), youngest sister (Anna Maria Engel),

Friends: N/A

Relationship Status: single

Sexuality: bisexual (I couldn't have a max muse and not make him bisexual let's be real)

Other Relationships: Sabine Nachreiner (his childhood best friend and his first love, though it was thought to be unrequited for most of his life because he was too afraid to ruin their friendship.)

Character Inspiration: Joey Tribianni - Friends, He's a Samantha, Troy Barnes - Community,

TW: war, communist germany*, multiple character death, suicide, bombs, DAMN

Ludwig Johann Engel was born into a very modest family in Dresden. A city that is marked by beautiful architecture and rich history. He is a middle child of four children. Gunther, Ludwig, Katrin and Anna Maria who was born when he was 12. His father, Johann, worked at the port as a marine mechanic. His mother, Greta was a teacher. They taught their children loyalty, intelligence, hard work and the importance of family. Ludwig was very bright. Curious and very eager to learn. He excelled greatly in school. Particularly in subjects like literature and history. He found a lot of comfort in stories about heroes and adventure. Being the youngest of the two sons, he really idolized his older brother Gunther. Ludwig was a spirited child and he practically shadowed everything Gunther did. From soccer to exploring the Elbe river; they spent countless hours together. Making their own fun because they were not allowed a lot of the forms of entertainment that were available on the West side of the Berlin Wall. These moments had really fostered in him an appreciation for nature. And a longing for freedom that would become so significant to him later. Gunther wasn't just a brother, but a friend and mentor; teaching him things like how to ride a bike and the complexities of growing up.

Gunther had introduced young Ludwig to the world of underground boxing, which he instantly fell in love with. It became an outlet for his own emotions; a way to channel his frustrations into something much more productive. Because of this he developed a strong sense of camaraderie and discipline. They were the best of friends and nothing could pull them apart. Or at least that's what they thought. That's what everyone thought.

But the Cold War was intensifying fast -- the allure of fighting for freedom and against the grips of communism was becoming too strong for Gunther. So he enlisted in the Bundeswahr. Ludwig felt admiration for his brother but also fear, grappling with the risks his brother faced. His mother, Greta, was nurturing and supportive during these times but she really struggled with the weight of expectations after her eldest son joined the military. She wanted to shield her sons from the uncertainties of the world but it was becoming increasingly hard to do so. Father Johann was almost the opposite, seemingly trying to avoid the topic of war as much as he could. He remained pragmatic and stoic, an attempt to maintain some normalcy, continuing to work tirelessly to provide for his family.

Ludwig, who was now growing into a man and not a boy, struggled with the weight of expectations. He desperately wanted to make his family proud, especially after Gunther's enlistment. The pressures of adulthood impending were incredibly daunting. He felt extremely lost and he grappled with attempting to live up to Gunther's legacy while also trying to make an identity for himself.

And then tragedy struck. Gunther was killed in action. A military operation gone wrong. The loss of his only brother completely shattered his world. He was consumed with grief and guilt. He tried so hard to truly understand his brother's life and sacrifice. Struggling to cope, he became withdrawn. Ludwig felt that no one, not even his parents, could understand the true depth of his loss.

After Gunther's death, Ludwig's world turned upside down and then sideways. He was in a deep state of grief and he felt completely disconnected from everyone. His family, friends and his community. The loss had created a huge hole and a rift in their modest and picture perfect family dynamic. Greta became increasingly withdrawn and her worry for Ludwig was undeniably palpable. She couldn't take the loss of her first son and the metaphorical loss of her second, so she succumbed to her own demons and took her own life. Johann focused on his work in hopes of providing stability amid the chaos and distracting himself from the loss of his wife and son. The warmth of their family dinners grew ice cold, now filled to the brim with silence and unspoken emotions.

The Cold War continued to wreak its havoc and Ludwig really felt a strong pull towards the military. Inspired by the stories of valor his brother often wrote to him about. He yearned to embody the bravery and strength he had admired in his brother. In a moment of sheer desperation, Ludwig [REDACTED]. The act of this was not only a means to escape his own life but also attempt to find closure and walk in Gunther's footsteps. To feel the connection that had so abruptly been severed.

When Ludwig enlisted in the Bundeswahr he found himself thrusted into a world of harsh trainings and the stark realities of life in the military. The discipline and physicality of military training really appealed to his background in boxing and allowed him to connect with fellow soldiers. Unfortunately he did also encounter the dark aspects of military life; looming threats of conflict and destruction, the pressures to conform and the emotional toll of being away from his father and his little sisters.

His service was riddled with a growing awareness of the complexities of war. He initially saw it as a way to prove himself and honor his late brother but he quickly realized the gravity of his decision. His friendships with his squadmates became a deep well of strength for Ludwig but it did become a vulnerability for him. Forming deep connections with the men who faced the horrors with him. It was during a harrowing mission that he experienced yet another tragic event. Shattering his already fragile state of mind. His squad had encountered a field of landmines and he was one of the only survivors. He's haunted by that day, filled with grief and especially guilt over the lives that were lost. It pushed him into a state of despair, struggling with night terrors and isolation. His mental health quickly deteriorrted and he found it progressively harder to reconcile his own sense of duty following what he had witnessed. Long standing heroic ideals were suddenly replaced with actual reality. One that left him questioning his purpose and even his identity. A path that was once full of honor and strength became a prison in his own mind. Memories he could never escape.

Just as hastily as he had [REDACTED] he went and [REDACTED] at the first opportunity he could.

In the wake of all of these struggles, he looked for a fresh start. One where he didn't have memories haunting him on every corner he looked. He thought back on stories told to him by his childhood best friend, Sabine, about Cardinal Hill, Washington -- where her mother was from. A picturesque town that now felt like a nirvana. Far away from the turmoil in his life in Germany. It was comforting and daunting, symbolizing a chance to escape. Both his grief and the expectations he was constantly placing on his own shoulders. It represented a life where he could seek healing, live a simple and small life. But most importantly -- to rediscover parts of him that he had lost.

However, upon arriving to Cardinal Hill, he was met with another harsh reality. One of Sabine’s death. She had passed while he was serving. Stricken once more by grief, he stumbled upon a letter she had written confessing her own love for him. It hurt him greatly; reigningting feelings of regret and sorrow. With Gunther, he let fear hold him back from embracing a love that he could have had. All of these things created a raging storm within him. Forcing him to confront his demons.

Now, in Cardinal Hill, he has made the choice to confront his past head on and stop hiding from his feelings. It's a prison but also a refuge, sweet memories of Sabine reminding him of what he had lost. He tries to face the challenges of reconciling his grief. Hoping for redemption and healing in a town that gives him so many opportunities for growth.

Additional Information and Headcannons:

Ludwig attended the Friedrich Engels Military Academy in Dresden from the time he was 12 until he was 14 years old. It was supported by the Communist party of Germany and they indoctrinated heavily. Convincing students that the West side of German was terrible and that the East was the best. The Friedrich Engels Military Academy closed in 1990 following the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Ludwig has been really enjoying exploring the natural beauty of Cardinal Hill and often times with take pictures of the landscapes and wildlife.

He occasionally volunteers at the local gym to coach kids in boxing and offer free self defense classes. It gives him a way to channel his love for boxing and connecting with the community.

Ludwig has a secret love for poetry and classic literature. He always carries a worn out copy of Rainier Maria Rilke poems in his bag.

He has a small tattoo of a boxing glove and a star on his wrist in homage to his brother and their shared interest in boxing.

Ironically he also has an extremely big fear of heights. He struggles to climb tall structures and even looking down from high buildings which makes him extremely frustrated sometimes.

Ludwig has a passion for coffee and enjoys many different brewing methods at home. He will often times visit the local cafe to try different blends and shoot the shit with the baristas. He also will sometimes engage in deep conversations with strangers there. Discussing philosophy and the human condition, finding solace in hearing the thoughts of others.

Ludwig loves language and is always trying to improve his English speaking skills. He finds it very rewarding but also challenging with all the nuance he keeps uncovering. He practices by watching a lot of American media with the subtitles and without subtitles when he's feeling a challenge. (He also really enjoys American TV shows because the only TV shows they had in Eastern Germany were ones allowed by the communist party so there weren't many good ones to choose from.)

Television isn't the only media he likes in America - he also is quite fond of the music. He has a small collection of vinyl records. Mostly classic rock and folk music. He also is known to belt out classic rock anthems during karaoke nights. Which he is a big fan of.

He's a mechanic now because he started as a mechanic in the military but he's also kind of a gadget guy. He's fascinated with technology -- and enjoys tinkering with old electronics. Whether that means trying to repair them or repurpose them depends on many of his own factors. It gives him a sense of accomplishment when he can make something hum to life.

Ludwig has a pet bunny named Otto, whom he finds very calming. He enjoys to care for him and often talks to him as a way to process his thoughts without feeling crazy.

*the views I’ve written in this biography do not express my view of communism as a whole. as a german student of 12 years however, I am glad East Germans are able to now live in freedom and I recognize the hardships they faced during those times and me writing about them is not me trying to trivialize or romanticize it. Love y’all bye That being said, I’m a jelly donut. (I hope someone gets that jfk reference).

#cardinalintro #der wandernde soldat ⋆.˚ ☾ .⭒˚#I haven't proofread this yet

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