#depl

[err505]

aradia, how do you feel about your newest poison concoction?

i have nOt actually made One just yet

there is a final cOmpOnent i'm still searching fOr

that has given me an excuse tO visit sOme architectural ruins Of places that nO lOnger legally exist

it's been very exciting

[lucifersdickriderdotnet]

Sick and Tired

Summary: you can't say that anything about having a chronic illness is fun, but at least you have friends who care about you. 2.7k words

Disclaimer: GENDER NEUTRAL READER I wrote this in one go at like 3am. So. All of the brothers are in this but it's more platonic than anything else? If you want you can read it as romance because I did imagine kissing several of them on the mouth while writing it. also shout out to the author on ao3 that called Asmo "Momo" and then pointed out that it means "peach" in japanese. I did steal that nickname. lmk if it was you though bc I will credit you.

Notes: This is based on my own personal experience with a mystery disease that has been plaguing me since I hit puberty. I'm going to be very real, I wrote this for myself as a way to cope because I got #sad. it sucks, for sure, but there are some things that make it more bearable and isn't that how life works anyways?

The cool thing about being a human in what is essentially hell is that when diseases happen, you are more or less immune to them. The bad part about being a human in what is essentially hell is that you’re human and it’s essentially hell. Because of this, there are some things that you’ve had to explain to your housemates, or to an overeager Diavolo, or to a concerned Luke. You had to talk Lucifer down from renovating the whole House to put in an elevator because he was “worried about your flimsy human joints.”

“I have bad joints, regardless.” You remember saying, “I’m a human, it comes with the territory. Don’t put an elevator in the House, I don’t like them anyway.”

You’ve had to explain that while you’re grateful that they managed to find vitamin D supplements, they’re meant to be just that, a supplement to spending time in the sun, something the Devildom doesn’t have. So while your symptoms have been alleviated, they have not been fixed. Levi fixed this by buying you something like a heat lamp.

“Where did you even find this?” You’d said after he’d forced you underneath it.

“You’re gonna hate the words that are going to come out of my mouth.” His hands stilled from where they were busy attaching it to the wall by your bed.

“Just tell me.”

“Some demons used to, emphasis on ‘used to’, own humans as pets. So they made these little lamps to mimic the sun or whatever.” You blink at him, rapid fire before shrugging a little.

“Humans used to own each other.” He turns his head to gape at you like a fish.

“What?”

“Yeah it was a whole thing. There are still lasting repercussions that echo through our modern society.”

“That’s insane.”

“I thought I told you before that human cruelty knows no bounds.”

Solomon of course, is no help, because while he may be human, he is old. You’d complained of jaw pain once, something about your teeth aching.

“It might be a demon.” He’d said this confidently at the one dinner a month he’s allowed to have with the brothers. As per the dating-Asmo-agreement he made with Lucifer.

“It might be a what?” Satan’s head whipped towards Solomon so fast you thought he broke something.

“A demon. Tooth pain is caused by little demons in the teeth.” You stared at him like he grew a second head.

“No, it’s not. It’s caused by bacteria eating away at your teeth. And that’s just for cavities. This could be something completely different. Also, I don’t think humans have believed the demon teeth thing in forever. God, you’re old.” Your frustrated rebuttal of Solomon’s “wisdom” had not stopped the brothers from checking you up and down for curses or signs of possession.

So, for the most part. It’s fine, and you don’t mind explaining these things to them just like they don’t mind explaining demon culture to you. This though, you’ve never been able to explain to anyone, so you can’t explain it to them either.

—

“I’m so tired,” it’s noon and you woke up from sleeping two hours earlier. Asmo has dragged you out of the house for some shopping spree, and while you were excited to go, your energy levels have quickly depleted.

“But darling! We just started!” Despite saying this, he’s walking towards the register with the clothes he’s decided he likes, willing to cut his trip short if it’s for you. You shake your head.

“No, no, keep shopping. I’m always tired, Peach.” He hums and goes back to perusing the shelves while you stay seated by the dressing room for his mini fashion shows.

You don’t just get tired while hanging out with Asmo, it happens everywhere. Beel has to catch your head when you almost faceplant into your lunch. You spend a Devildom History class fighting to keep your eyes open while Satan takes twice the amount of notes as usual so you don’t fall behind. Levi asks you to watch a special livestream of a Sucre Frenzy concert and you have to sit down halfway through because you’re suddenly dizzy. You even fall tired while driving Mammon’s car, once.

He’d been in the passenger seat, fretting over your every move, and you’d understood despite the fact that it was incredibly annoying. This car was his baby, something he was incredibly proud of, something he worked hard to get. Still, having someone freak out over your driving usually makes it worse.

You’d been gently reassuring him of your skills when you felt it, the familiar pull of your eyelids, the way your brain seemed to slow down. It takes you a second longer than it should to register the red light and you have to slam on the brakes to avoid running it. It’s not too soon after that when you decide to pull over and have Mammon drive you home. You fall asleep on the way back.

—

This all comes to a head when you manage to outsleep Belphie.You aren’t sure how you did it, honestly. You went to bed on Friday afternoon and vaguely remember being woken up because a meal was ready. You remember making some sort of affirmative noise and then going back to sleep. You have hazy memories of stumbling to the bathroom and chugging down bottles of water, but mostly it was just sleep. Then, Belphie is shaking you awake. He’s saying something you can’t quite hear and Beel is picking you up and carrying you to the living room and the lights are so bright it turns your brain back on.

“Belphie, did you do somethin’?” It’s Mammon’s voice, accusatory. Someone pokes your cheek.

“So you kill a guy once and suddenly everything that happens to them is your fault?” His reply makes you snort.

“Did you or not?”

“No. This is… this is something else.” He sighs and then one of your eyelids is being manually opened so he can make eye contact with you before he lets go and your head drops slightly. “I know what my sin feels like. I know what Sloth feels like. It’s a choice, mostly. It’s the action of choosing to do nothing rather than something. This is something else. Something completely different.” You yawn and scrub at your eyes, finally opening them to stare at your posse.

“Did I get a fanclub while I was napping?”

“You’ve always had a fanclub,” Levi says quietly.

“Napping? You call that a nap?” Asmo pokes your cheek and you assume he’s the one who did it the first time.

“How do you know they have a fanclub?” Satan turns his head to Levi and his brother turns a bright shade of red.

“I’m the president.” He says. Beel raises his hand.

“I’m VP. We hold meetings every Wednesday. Lucifer pretends it’s stupid but he’s always in the club room ‘doing student council work’.”

“Can we get back to the matter at hand?” Lucifer finally interjects, not wanting to deal with his brothers’ needling. Satan grumbles something about him being a loser under his breath. “Are you aware of how long you were asleep for?”

“I mean, I dunno,” you stretch your arms above your head and almost hit someone in the face. “I remember someone coming to me about dinner, so probably a while. Why?” Lucifer sighs and rubs a hand down his face.

“It’s Sunday afternoon.” You stare at him blankly.

“This is the worst joke you’ve ever told.”

“I am not joking,” he says and Levi shoves his D.D.D under your nose. Sure enough it says that today, the day you are finally awake, is Sunday. It says that it’s 2pm. You’ve slept for almost a full 48 hours. The thought brings tears to your eyes immediately and Levi freaks out.

“No wait, don’t cry. I don’t know what to do when you cry!” His hands are flapping around your face uselessly and it makes you laugh and choke on a wet sob.

“You can back the fuck up, for starters.” Satan bodily pushes his brothers out of the way to get to you, placing a box of tissues on your lap and sitting next to you. Not close enough to touch, but enough so you know he’s there.

“Sorry,” you take a tissue and blow your nose. Beel holds out a trashcan and Asmo pretends not to be disgusted. It’s sweet. “Crying in front of people is so cringe.”

“Being vulnerable and crying is not something you should be ashamed of,” Lucifer says and it’s weird to have your own words parroted back at you.

“Why’re you apologizin’ anyway? ‘S not like you did anythin’ wrong. We’re just worried is all.” Mammon runs a hand over your hair as he says it before remembering himself and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Because it’s never been this bad before. I’ve never slept for damn near two days.”

“So this is a recurring problem?” Satan has procured a notebook from out of nowhere and has his hand poised to write down what you’re saying. Presumably to go scour his books for a solution.

“Yeah. It’s … I’m tired a lot. Always, really. I’m tired right now, actually. Sometimes it’s worse than others but … I don’t really know what’s wrong.” You huff, “I was actually in the process of getting tests done to figure it out when I got magic-ed here. Isn’t that funny?”

“Is there anything we can do to help?” Asmo is resting his head on your shoulder and you tilt your head so it rests on his.

“Not really. ‘M sorry, Peach. I’d tell you if there was.”

“I always wondered why you had such deep eyebags. I thought it was something in your skincare routine.”

“It’s also genetic.”

“Humans have genes for dark under eyes?” He sounds horrified at the prospect.

“Sure do.”

“That’s miserable.” You laugh at him and he squeezes your hand gently.

“So, yer just… tired.” Mammon asks.

“Mhm.”

“Chronically.”

“Also yes.”

“I didn’t know you knew the word ‘chronic’, Mammon,” Belphie ribs Mammon from his spot on the floor. You kick him slightly.

“Don’t be an ass.” He sighs dramatically and flops over onto his back.

“It’s good to know it’s not a freaky demon thing.” He peers up at you from underneath his bangs.

“Yeah. I’m kind of tired of dealing with freaky demon things. No offense.” There’s a chorus of agreement throughout the room and you can see everyone relax a little now that they know.

“It is a shame though,” Lucifer says, “that it is not demon related.” His brow furrows. “Those I can fix.” You shrug and slightly jostle Asmo’s head.

“Eh. That’s life. Thank you for being concerned though, I appreciate it.” Your stomach grumbles. “I guess I should eat, huh?” Asmo graciously lifts his head off your shoulder and you head to the kitchen, Beel on your tail.

“There’s nothing we can do?” He looks sad, and he’s rubbing his wrist in that way he does when he’s nervous. You’re struck with the realization that Beel is the defender of his family. He’s physically the biggest and the strongest, and he’s been looking after them and taking care of them physically for basically forever. It must be excruciating for him to not be able to help you.

“No,” you shake your head sadly, “I’m sorry, Bug.” You step forward and give him a hug. He returns it and you pretend you can’t feel him cry.

—

Things are different after that. Asmo tries to hang out with you in places closer to the House or in his room. Lucifer pulls you aside and tells you both his room and his study are always open for you if you need them. Beel takes you to the gym with him so you don’t stay too sedentary, but is always willing to stop working out if you need to go home. Satan almost gets into a physical altercation with a teacher over you sleeping in class and you find out later that Belphie gave him nightmares for a week. Levi doesn’t make you sit through as many anime binges anymore, instead separating them up into something more bite sized so you can properly enjoy it. It’s nice, you think, that they’re trying to take your needs into consideration.

Diavolo catches wind of it and sneaks his way over to the House to ask you questions. Walks into Lucifer’s study where you’re trying to do assigned reading like he owns it, and you think that he probably does in some way.

“Diavolo–” Lucifer stands up and Diavolo laughs.

“Don’t worry! There is nothing wrong! I just had some questions for our lovely exchange student.” He sits down in the armchair across from you and you set your notebook down.

“What’s up?” You can hear Lucifer mumbling prayers to a God who will no longer listen to them and it makes you snort.

“I have learned of your condition.”

“I gathered.”

“There is nothing I can do?”

“Do you have several degrees and a shit ton of fancy machinery?” Lucifer chokes at your language. Diavolo smiles at you.

“Can’t say that I do.”

“Then, no. There isn’t.” He hums thoughtfully and you busy yourself with trying to figure out Lucifer’s Demonus organization pattern. It doesn’t seem to be by age, so maybe it’s by color?

“What does it feel like?” Diavolo’s question draws you out of your comparison of two almost identical wine reds. You think one has a brighter undertone but that could be the color of the label.

“Have you ever been tired?”

“Indeed.”

“Have you ever not slept, for like, a whole day, and you can feel that your brain isn’t working at maximum capacity?” He nods. “Have you ever felt like you were trying to run in a swimming pool?”

“I can run in swimming pools.” You roll your eyes.

“Can you run through slime?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“It’s like that. It’s being so tired that you know you aren’t operating at your best and being able to do nothing about it. It’s like moving through water. It’s never getting enough sleep. I could sleep the perfect amount for a human my age and I would still be down to take several long naps throughout the day. And it’s not something I can ignore, either. I can’t just power through it. Because after a while, it starts to hurt.”

“Hurt?” He frowns, and it’s weird to see him not smiling.

“Yeah. It’s. When I get too tired my eyes will hurt. It feels like they’re grapes and someone is squishing the life out of them. It feels like a thousand tiny needles poking at my eyes. It feels like someone is squishing the bridge of my nose in their fist and refuses to let go. It makes my stomach hurt, it makes me nauseous and sick, and it makes me dizzy and it’s awful.”

“I see.”

“So, I have to sleep. I have to sleep because if I don’t it hurts and if I manage to get through that my body will make itself sleep, anyway. It’ll just turn off, regardless of if I want it to or not.”

“That. That is miserable. I am sorry you have to experience such a thing.” You shrug a little and stare at your hands.

“What can you do?” It comes out sarcastic and dry. There’s a silence, tense and weighty, and you know what he’s going to ask before he does.

“Do you need to go to the human world?” You can hear Lucifer’s sharp inhale even though he was pretending to not listen.

“Maybe. But, if it is what I think it is, it won’t go away. I’ll just know and get medication. Probably.” Diavolo stands and nods.

“At least you will know. I will figure something out for you.” He nods again, this time to himself. “There is no reason for you to suffer this way.”

“It won’t go away, Diavolo. I’ll still have it.” You need him to know this. You need him to know that it won’t be permanently fixed. You don’t want him to be disappointed when everything’s said and done and you’re still sick.

“Yes, but things will be better, no? Some progress is better than no progress, no matter how small.” He pauses and smiles at you, warm and comforting. “And we will all be there for you. Regardless of the outcome.”

[illogicalconclusions]

Like it’s whatever multiple news sites had to retract their stories and issue formal apologies to her admitting they’d lied about things like her sanity and supposedly “outrageous” spending of Paul’s money. They really were putting out articles LYING about her supposedly spending her divorce settlement on shit like building swimming pools which by the way even if she did who gives a fuuuuuuck George Harrison bought a literal castle each Beatle has like 3 houses who gives a single shit but also they were literally LYING and were also were painting her as being INSANE and were lying about her cheating and getting multiple boob jobs and ALL THE WHILE they’re also being ableist calling her Peg leg MULTIPLE comedians are making fun of her and Paul was treating her more like a Nanny than a wife while being THE ONLY woman Paul ever publicly had a relationship with that wasn’t already from wealth frankly she should have gotten more money she should have cleaned him tf out

Cannot believe I just saw Heather Mills hate on my dashboard oh my god???

[fg083nrt]

KAKUHIDA fic recs 💴🩸

Everything in this list is either M or E-rated. Very low possibility of anything T-rated. Most links are ao3, but some are livejournal, fanfiction.net or ficbook or pixiv.

Disclaimer: I do not actually know 4 languages; I just use Google Translate or Depl because I am insane.

TOP FAVES in no particular order

[Mandarin]【角飞】都市谋杀之夜 by Liebestorm 

Ballet dancer Hidan + black alley doctor Kakuzu. Incredible story, full of casual cruelty, there’s death, there’s body horror, there’s physical and mental suffering - all things Kakuhida. I think about this story a lot. The accuracy of their depiction in the modern setting is stunning. Head the warnings. There are many.

Content Warnings: abortion, amputation, violence, abuse, cruelty.

By the same author 【吸血鬼AU】以圣灵的名义…  Vampire AU! A small, fun story about two vampires hunting together. Some really cute romantic cannibalism.

[Russian] Мертвый сезон by Tiferet (taubenblautiferet)

PART 1 | PART 2 

“Can a country boy and a big city man fall in love?” 

Hot spring worker Hidan and ex-yakuza accountant Kakuzu on vacation. Lots of ghosts (well, just one, but oh man), curses(???), sex, Tokyo life and a demonic God that wants to have a talk. Very dear to my heart. Watching Kakuzu drop his guard down when faced with Hidan’s relentless naivete and determination makes my brain go all mushy.

Literally, anything by this author is top-tier storytelling writing, and you know you are always in for a fun ride!!

If you are looking for something more lighthearted, try ХИДАН ЛАЖАЕТ. It’s a fun story about video game streamer Hidan and his secret admirer, Kakuzu. 

[English] Is it Life or Art? by lilac_bramble  

This story is just so much fun, London socialite/model/”personality” Hidan and investment banker Kakuzu. Truly like peak Kakuhida to me. I really enjoy their relationship here. Their chemistry just works so well. This story is nearly the same word count as Game of Thrones. I am not joking. I am obsessed with authors' in-depth, detailed little tidbits of life in London. 

[Japanese] 【角飛】めまゐ【web再録】by Puola 

I love stories about characters told by someone completely unrelated, like a view from outside. I think this story does it so well. I loved seeing the tiny glimpses into how other people see them. It’s a short but a very special story. They cannot escape ‘These two really care for each other’ allegations. 

[Russian] Небо класса S by  бабаягапротив 

*DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE DEIDARA FAN OR SASODEI FAN

It is a truly amazing story from start to finish. I couldn’t stop reading it. Cruel, funny, witty dialogue, violence, great character insight, everything juicy remains in subtext and subtext alone. Lots of fun revelations are left up to the reader's interpretation, which I really enjoyed. Great example of how a sex scene can be used to show more hidden aspects of a relationship and how the two come together. The whole premise is really unusual and refreshing.

[English] Like steps of passing ghosts by Sneakend 

The storytelling reminds me of an official Naruto light novel. The same like tempo and the dynamic between them just feels very much like them. The story premise is simple but satisfying. I love it when Hidan is affected by the supernatural.

[English] In Limbs and Joints by orphan_account 

Zombie AU. Loved, loved, loved the ending. I hate reading zombie AU, where characters survive for a bit too long makes everything drag on and on. This story is perfect. We get them coming in, and then the end feels even more gut-wrenching but also super satisfying. Really well done!

[English] Kakuzu and the Temple of Jashin by fauvester

Ultimate comfort story. It’s camp; it’s scary, it’s gory, it’s funny. I just love everything about this story.

Genre clusters

Genre: “Corrupt Priest Hidan”

[Russian] Ничего святого by меровинген 

Church Cardinal Hidan + Thief Kakuzu. Really hot!

2. [English] Madness by JonShiiiiiDesu

Holy Son Hidan + Black Plague Doctor Kakuzu. The premise and the setting is really fun!

Genre: “Kakuzu goes to a bar, spots Hidan being his weird, insane self, and then simply has no other choice but to  fuck him in the men’s washroom.”

[Russian] Оседлавший торнадо by Tiferet

Calgary stampede Kakuhida. Insert cowboy emoji. Great story! May be helping with translation soon.

2. [Russian] Горючее by AmberWha1e 

Hidan picks Kakuzu up at a bar but loses his number.

3. [Russian] 5:49 в Стерджен-Бей by Neverhere 

Pure romance. Modern AU, as well!

Check out another fic by the same author Таинство любви 

Hidan gives head in a church! Fun!

4. [Russian] Чистюля by меровинген 

Casino coworkers Kakuhida, I love this authors Kakuzu! 

+There was another fanfic that was like so unhinged, but it got deleted, I will miss it forever.

More

[English] Beloved Schism by ThisCatastrophe 

Saint!Hidan+Mercenary!Kakuzu. Really interesting setting packed with catholic tidbits.

[English] Evolution of Us by SenkoWakimarin 

I remember reading this story on LiveJournal, a classic.

Gentleness by the same author. They are an OG! 

[English] True Intentions by sweetdreamz

Unfinished, but it’s so hot and cute I don’t care. Virgin!Kakuzu is a rare commodity. 

[English] take the hand and arm by shannyan

Sex pollen! Check out more from that author.  

[English] Bring Me Back A Dog by W0lfism 

Fuckfest AND a really fun plot!!! All in one!!! Any KKHD by Wolf is top-notch porn.

[English] Gentle Rains Trailer Park by HidansCrazyLaugh

Trailer park AU! Really love this one 

[Russian] The Third Weakness by Цагн

Modern prison AU focused on Kakuzu and his fateful meeting with Hidan.

Their other works for them are awesome too  

[English] Irredeemable Paradise by ManicR

This style is rare nowadays I like this. 

[English] Heaven by Crystaline-Crimson

Similarly rare style.  

[English] Another Mess by Un.filltered

A short and fun sex session on a table.

[Japanese] どうぞこの身を召し上がれ by Kiyo

Cake and Fork AU, it’s a variation of omegaverse, but with more focus on cannibalism. Romantic goreporn!

[e-dubbc11]

Afternoon Delight

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google

Pairing: Billy Russo x F! Reader

Warnings: Dirty talk, a LOT of it. Reader and Billy both have filthy mouths in this one so 18+ please (no minors or I’m telling), some swear words

Word Count: 1.6k-ish

Summary: Reader is reading and waiting for her boyfriend to bring her lunch in the park. A very handsome man takes a seat next to her, the book she’s reading is one of his favorites.

A/N: This is my contribution to May’s writing challenge over on the Thirsty For Cox discord server. This month’s prompt was sundress season and I honestly didn’t mean for it to get dirty but my brain had other ideas. Oh the book I took the quotes from is The Picture of Dorian Gray. I hope you like it!

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

A gentle summer breeze rushed across your exposed shoulders as you sat alone on a park bench reading your book on an early Saturday afternoon. The subtle rustling of the trees above your head prompted you to look up and watch the sun highlight the veins in the leaves as the wind moved them in multiple directions.

The warm afternoon sun shone through the leaves on the trees, drawing attention to bright green patches of grass all over the park. It was a beautiful day.

Your boyfriend told you earlier that morning that he would meet you in the park for lunch and you couldn’t wait to surprise him with the new dress you bought.

Black with white polka dots, adjustable spaghetti straps, long with a deep V-neck and a drawstring closure, it was perfect for a day like today and you were sure he would love it on you.

Continuing to turn the pages of your book, you looked up the walkway and noticed a very handsome man walking toward you wearing a gray suit.

He had ebony colored hair, a short well-groomed beard and as he came closer you noticed his eyes. He had beautiful yet very mysterious deep brown eyes, the kind of eyes you could just get lost in while he was talking to you. They looked like two flat black marbles and they were looking directly at you.

There were empty park benches everywhere, so you didn’t think he would take a seat next to you and yet, he did. As he sat down, he smiled at you. You’ve never seen a more perfect smile on top of an already incredibly handsome face.

He said hello, you said hello back and returned the smile he gave you.

A smile like his could get you into some serious trouble but then he doubled down and opened his mouth to which you heard his soft tone, his voice was smooth like warm honey with a slight New York accent.

“I love that book.” He said.

You almost forgot you were holding a book, he was quite the distraction.

“Me too.” You said. “This is my fourth time reading it. Do you have a favorite part?”

You asked him, hoping to throw him off guard to see if he’s actually read it or if it’s some lame pick up line.

“Well…let’s see.” He said. “There are so many.”

Got him.

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” Chapter 2, page 23

“Oh and…”

“When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy." Chapter 6, page 106

The fact that he had those passages memorized, shocked you to your core and you felt slightly embarrassed and ashamed that you doubted him, but it turned you on at the same time.

“I’m sorry, I thought that…” You said.

He interrupted you.

“You thought it was a line, didn’t you.” He said with a sly grin.

Very few people surprised you, especially tall, handsome men just strolling through the park.

“I do apologize Mister?” You asked.

“Russo…Billy Russo.” He said extending his hand for you to shake. “I read that book a lot when I was deployed overseas.”

“Deployed? Wait, lemme guess…” You said as you carefully looked him over from head to toe. “You were a marine.” You were biting down on your lower lip, and fighting the desire to draw him in close by his tie.

He continued to stare at you with those intense brown eyes of his, he could not look away and neither could you. He held your gaze and felt yourself start to blush every time he smiled at you.

“How did you know?” He asked.

“Well…actually, my boyfriend was also in the Marines.” You said in a low breathy tone.

His smile disappeared.

“Well your boyfriend is a lucky man, I’ve never seen a more beautiful smile…on anyone.” He said.

He took the words right out of your mouth, you felt the same way about his smile.

Billy moved his head like it was on a swivel, looking all around him. “So…where is this boyfriend of yours? If you were mine, I’d never let you out of my sight.” He stated.

The struggle to keep from smiling was difficult, and you replied. “Actually, I don’t know. He said he would meet me here for lunch and he’s never ever late.”

You weren’t sure if it was the rays from the sun or Billy that was causing the warmth to rise to your cheeks.

There was something you wanted from Billy but maybe you shouldn’t ask. Although, what harm could come from reading a few pages from your book to you?

There was just something about his voice that was captivating. The way the words rolled off of his tongue was musical and hypnotic, like he was meant to read them aloud.

As he read, he’d glance away from the pages for sentences at a time to look over at you. He had memorized a lot of the passages, staring at you as he recited the words.

At one point, he stopped and lost his place because he was too busy staring at you.

“I’m so sorry.” He said. “I have to tell you, I’m very distracted by this beautiful dress you have on. Although I’m not sure if it’s the dress or the woman wearing it, maybe it’s both. I can’t believe your boyfriend let you leave the house without him, lookin’ like that. Every man that walks by this bench is having the same thoughts as I am.”

Trying to swallow the lump in your throat, the ache between your thighs grew hungry for him.

“Oh? And—what sort of thoughts would those be, Mr. Russo?” You whispered.

“Impure ones.” He hissed as he looked you up and down.

Your fingers lightly danced across the glowing skin on your chest and moved up to rub the back of your neck as his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip.

“Thoughts of taking you back to my place, hiking that dress up over your hips and fucking you so hard you can’t walk right tomorrow, pinning you against the wall, and having your legs wrapped around my waist, pulling me deeper into that sweet pussy of yours. I wanna hear you scream my name over and over again until your voice cracks, and I bet you’d look really pretty sitting on my dick.”

Gently, he touched your bare shoulder, and brushed the warm soft skin of your arm with his calloused fingers, those words sent shivers down your spine despite the hot afternoon sun.

Shuddering at those sinful thoughts, you leaned in to him so your face was closer to his yet your bodies remained apart and whispered against his mouth. “Is that right? Anything else?” You asked before sucking on his bottom lip.

“Or just ripping it off of you because it covers that gorgeous body of yours, then using it to tie you to the bed so I can look at you all spread out, ready to take my cock. Those are the kind of thoughts I’m having.”

A bead of sweat had dripped from your neck down your chest and in between your breasts, your panties were soaked from listening to Billy describe what he wanted to do to you, and if he wanted to fuck you right there on that park bench, you would probably let him.

“Maybe I’m having similar thoughts.” You said softly. “Maybe I want to see you on your knees in front of me, your head underneath my dress, and your tongue fucking me until I can’t see straight.”

You were so distracted by him, you forgot why you were sitting on that bench in the first place.

He inched closer to you so his thigh was touching yours, the look in his eyes was primal, his long slender fingers touched the side of your face, his other hand grazed the top of your breast and then he pushed some of your hair back behind your ear so he could whisper to you.

“Role playing is fun, isn’t it sweet girl. I don’t even need to touch you to know how wet you are for me. Love the new dress. I know I was supposed to bring lunch but I didn’t think there would be a snack waiting for me when I got here.” He said with a devilish smirk and gave you a kiss on the cheek.

You reached out to brush his beard with your thumbs and let out a little chuckle. “Wow…And I thought I’ve heard every cheesy pick up line there is, my love. Are you done flirting with me? Where’s my lunch?”

Billy held up one finger. “Number one, I’ll never stop flirting with you, number two, you’re wearin’ MY lunch…and I promise I’ll get you something to eat, but I need to get you home now otherwise we’re both getting arrested for indecent exposure.” He said with a wink. “I held out as long as I could. I’m pretty sure I flatlined when I first saw you. You look fuckin’ hot, baby.”

You leaned in close and gave him a hungry kiss, your tongue twisted with his and your teeth nipped at his lower lip which made him absolutely feral for you.

“Well let’s go home then, Mr. Russo and don’t forget our book.”

Tag List: @mindidjarin @saintmurd0ck @wheresthesunshinesblog @rafaelakelley @idaoftheburningmind @snowkestrel @xdervyxccgh @mattmurdocksscars @fakehappy27 @music-indie-tv @fictional-hooman @kayhi808 @munsonownsmyass @gijos @celestialams @idek-what-to-put @anastasianeedstoread @ratsys @k-marzolf @nutmeg17 @rosaleenablack

Others that might enjoy: @itwasthereaminuteago @fluffyprettykitty @jvanilly @simple-lovebot @russosafehaven @mrsbillyrusso

If you’d like to be added to (or removed from) my tag list for the ever so handsome Billy Russo, just let me know and thank you again for reading! 💕💕💕 If I tagged you but didn’t want to be, just let me know and I’ll never do it again

[leithanienwnt]

This was an incredibly fun and really technical clear, and it was also way harder than it needed to be. See, you might have noticed that Bassline doesn't have his module (and if you're familiar with his kit, you might have realized that he's still at M2 on his S1). That's because neither him nor Viviana are at 100 trust yet. I've been using all my sanity potions in the event to try to get their trust up, but it still takes time. But: having four new ops for the niche is too exciting for me to sit and wait. The plan was originally just to start labbing this out, starting with an easier 8 op with Carnelian and Lessing, then a 7 without Carnelian. But I thought I might just be able to make it a six, and here we are. Now, I'm going to break this down in detail, because there's a lot going on and I'm really pleased with how it all came together:

First of all, Viviana. She's here! The reason I built this niche! A lot ended up relying on her, and she was perfect for what I needed: doing good damage to take out key targets, but durable enough to stay out when I needed it. A really good highlight of this is when she takes out an agitator and a greatswordsman back to back, outside of healing range, while being targeted by Damazti. She didn't even need to take out the greatswordsman; just stalling them for a few seconds would have been fine! But she did it, even without the attack she'll get from finishing her trust. She also could have finished Damazti on her own (and she did so in a previous iteration when Eyja was defeated before I could use her skill after I mistimed placing her), but I needed Eyja for the opening and to take out one of the trilbies, so I used her to speed up the burst.

Speaking of Eyja, she was kind of the least important unit in this. It really was just the opening, the trilby, and then just boosting Eben's attack and speeding up bursts. It's enough that I don't think I can optimize her out, but for the most straightforwardly strong unit in the squad, it was a relatively quiet stage. But it's okay, her alter still totally trivialized the elemental damage, which made it possible even without Bassline's trust and module.

It was relatively quiet for Bassline here too, largely because he's not fully built yet (don't worry, I have plans that'll highlight him more when he's done). But he still helped healing (which was good to have since there was a point where Czerny gets kind of low) and having another three block is huge. Also his redeploy may not have seemed necessary (and technically it wasn't), but it meant that Eyja would live through her skill activation as he became the target of Damazti's last skill activation instead of her.

Eben, however, was pivotal to this, and this was a really good showing of why he's more than just a funny boss killer. He's really good on pretty much any map, because even when he's not attacking a boss, he can make sure you just don't have to deal with the map's biggest threats. Like here, the tyrant captains might as well have not existed, because they never so much as got close to attacking my units. Add in taking out most of the agitators and greatswordsmen, and I don't get why he's so looked down upon.

And last but not least: Czerny. It kind of looks like a quiet performance for him, but there was actually a lot going on. For one, him having the bulk and block count of a defender but being able to actually do enough damage to take out the enemies that made it to him was why he was on that lane and not Bassline. Plus, having a form of damage mitigation that wasn't a +% defense meant he could still last even when the corrosion started to pile up. But the biggest contribution was his S2's taunt. If you watch for it, you'll see I activate it pretty much any time I drop Viviana or especially Eyja, in order to keep Damazti's skill targeting on him, giving them the best chance to land safely. Without this, Eyja can't last long enough to take out the trilby, and a couple of Viviana's deployments get a lot more reliant on good off-skill shield RNG.

Anyway, that's all! I'm really excited to play around with the new units some more and to see what I can come up with. Thanks for watching! :)

[theurbanmechcomesforthee]

Incoming priority transmission, recoverability 40%:

TH- -X-- T-ME -OMEB--Y DEPL--- A -UCK--- VIR-- JA--ER IN THE BLA-- --MN F.O.B. YOU-E G---- -- TH- FU--ING GULAG

[dzthenerd490]

File: Amanda the Adventurer

SCP#: AKN

Code Name: Amanda, The Cartoon Puzzle Demon

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: Mobile Task Force Hermes-11 “Home Movies” is responsible for finding SCP-AKN instances in the wild and containing them. Every instance that is captured must be sent to Site-AQ to be processed into Site-GRID. Due to the terrifying, lethal, and often unpredictable properties of SCP-AKN it must only be tested in simulations. Site Director SCP-AVC and his personal staff of SCP-ACH-3.2 individuals are the only ones who can create the most accurate simulations of what each SCP-AKN copy will do. 

Description: SCP-AKN is a collection of VHS tapes of the classic cartoon Amanda the Adventurer that played in the early 2000’s. The show has two characters Amanda, a young girl with dark brown skin and afro puff style black hair and her companion Wooly who is an anthropomorphic sheep. The plot revolves around the two going to random areas and learning new lessons in life while they do so. The show was incredibly popular when released but quickly fell into controversy of supposedly hypnotizing children and making them disappear. Because the number of disappearing children kept rising as well as rumors of paranormal experiments involved in its creation it was quickly canceled and abandoned. The few remaining VHS tapes are now scattered in libraries, daycares, and other places making the situation much worse due to how hazardous SCP-AKN is. 

SCP-AKN when watched by a child makes them unable to perceive anything around them anymore as if locked into a trance. After a certain period of time whether it be a few minutes or over the course of several days the child will eventually be consumed entirely by SCP-AKN. There will be no trace left of the child and once it's done there is no way to reverse the result. It is assumed that this is done as a sort of nourishment for SCP-AKN, possibly due to its supposed paranormal nature. 

However when an adult watches SCP-AKN the show will not progress normally, instead displaying odd behavior of the characters Amanda and Wooly. There will also be visible clues and easter eggs that will appear in the show meant to symbolize something or anything around the viewer. Most peculiarly, on occasions toys will manifest and move in places they weren’t before to accommodate with these clues shown on the screen. There will even be times where the viewer must solve a puzzle in order to get the proper reaction form the characters in the show. Doing so can also miraculously cause another VHS tape to manifest leading to another episode with more clues and puzzles to solve. However, if the viewer ever answers a question or puzzle wrong, they will be attacked by SCP-AKN-Demon.

SCP-AKN-Demon is a strange monster that resembles the character of Amanda in that it has her black hair and in the same Afro Puff hair style. However, SCP-AKN-Demon has an elongated and skeletal human body that is purplish gray in texture almost making it seem like a disfigured corpse. It also possesses elongated toes and fingers that all have sharp talonlike nails. The face is heavily disfigured possessing hundreds of white eyes, and an elongated mouth filled with hooked teeth. Oddly this entity is entirely physical and is not tethered to the tapes in any way the Foundation can identify, but it is very reactive to what happened.

Should the viewer ever fail to solve a puzzle or does something that deeply upsets the character Amanda, SCP-AKN-Demon will show up and kill them without mercy. Another way to invoke the wrath of SCP-AKN-Demon is to destroy the tapes. There currently is no way to capture, stop, or even bring physical harm to SCP-AKN-Demon.

SCP-AKN was discovered in 2023 when Foundation agent Riley Park inherited her Aunt Kate's house after her passing. She discovered SCP-AKN entirely by accident and immediately reported the discovery to the Foundation. Mobile Task Force Hermes-11 “Home Movies” was immediately deployed in all regions of the US where the show “Amanda the Adventurer” was popular to have all copies retrieved immediately. This was done simultaneously across the US to keep SCP-AKN-Demon from stopping the MTF units or at least form stopping all of them. 

However, Agent Riley Park ended up meeting a form user of Parawatch who worked with her aunt and tried to expose the vile truth of SCP-AKN. The two are now being escorted by a team of small agents to find all main VHS tapes that might show clues as to the true origin of SCP-AKN. Though after it's over this Parawatch user will have to be amnestied and their profile on all Parawatch sites be hacked to help find more users and better manipulate the website for the Foundation’s favor.

.

SCP: Horror Movie Files Hub

[bellatrixobsessed1]

The Dark Forest (Part 10)

She hadn’t made a sound. 

It is curious that she hadn’t even uttered a little whimper. 

Nothing that could have prepared Darcy for the scene that she would come upon. 

It has her in its mouth. 

At least half of her head.

A bit of spittle drips from the creature’s maw down the exposed part of Icy’s face.

Dead. 

Darcy thinks that Icy must be dead. 

She has to be if she isn’t screaming. But her hand twitches. 

It could be a product of the creature shaking her. Jostling her corpse as it consumes her. But then she reaches up. Stormy screams on her behalf. She screams loud enough for the both of them. Darcy’s stomach lolls and she lets out a strangled cry of her own. It is worse that she is still alive. At least if she were dead she wouldn’t feel teeth on her head, wouldn’t feel the terror of being consumed alive. Icy slips her fingers into the creature’s mouth and Stormy shrieks again. Darcy thinks that she is going to be sick. And sick twice over as it settles upon her that the shock is threatening to throw her right back into her child mindset. 

She can’t let it happen. Not yet.

She has to at least try to save Icy first.

She drops her basket of herbs, she can pick those up later. It’s not like she’ll use them anyways if the person who needs them gets eaten alive. She draws as much magical energy as she can muster to her palms and takes a step forward. That’s when the crackling begins. 

Icy’s fingers tighten around the creature’s jaw, her own is firmly clenched. And slowly snow begins flooding out of the creature's mouth. Snow, Icy had mentioned ages ago when they were still fully adults, is the easiest type of ice magic to work with. Easy enough that she almost never uses it because those spells are so weak—child’s play she had called it. The magic of an unserious practitioner. 

But here and now, Darcy has trouble agreeing. The creature’s neck begins to bulge but Icy lets her small snow storm rage on. And by the time the storm passes, her white locks are coated in blood. It drips down her face, down her chin to where the creature lies, neck burst, at her feet.

Icy’s eyes are distant and haunted. 

She collapses too, her cheek cradled by the carnage.

.oOo.

The woman cackles. 

She is gleeful. 

Absolutely delighted to see the child in front of her dressed in frost and bloodshed.

Their eyes don’t look so differently now. Icy’s eyes are a little wider than the woman’s but they have the same glint. Something off-kilter. Something off-putting. 

The woman says that she is proud of Icy. And the wrinkled, wretched specter behind the woman howls with joy and approval. The specter has the woman by her hair, long white-blue strands twist tightly around her gnarled, knobby fingers and Icy can tell that the woman wants to grimace.

Icy reaches out. She thinks that she is on the cusp of understanding something. The same thing that she has been trying and failing to understand for a long time. But just as the woman begins to open her mouth, perhaps to whisper a well guarded secret, the specter clasps a hand over her mouth. 

Just as she moves to hand that which she had stolen back to Icy, the wrinkled specter yanks her arm back until it snaps. 

She remembers that she had dreamed.

She doesn’t remember the dream. 

But she still feels the specter’s bony fingers tracing her neck. 

She is still covered in blood, it is crusted on her face and clumps her locks together. She smells like copper and corpse but there are no lakes nearby. Darcy must have cleaned some of her body while she was sleeping because the spots around her cuts and gashes are free of blood and dirt. There is a smear of ointment on each infected gash, but not nearly as much as usual. 

Icy sits up and starts to rub her eyes only to have Darcy pull her fists away and mutter something about how she should try harder to not give herself an eye infection too. It is the last thing that they need especially now that they have wasted enough days in one spot to have depleted their food supply down to a handful of berries each. 

It is decided that they need to get a move on, even if she still gets lightheaded when she stands up.

Icy’s eyes fall once again on the necklace of shoes.

Upon the shoe that looks exactly like Stormy’s but can’t be Stormy’s because Stormy is wearing that exact shoe right now. A closer inspection reveals that the scuff marks are not the same but the size and brand are exactly identical. 

And the sharpie doodle near the heel matches all of the doodles Stormy draws in the dirt. 

The creature, she thinks, wasn’t after her at all. 

It was after Stormy.

It had settled for her. 

Or maybe it had thought that it already killed Stormy so it has moved on to her…

.oOo.

A stupid shiny rock. 

They are bickering over stupid shiny rock. 

It was kind of funny at first until they started throwing punches and kicks. 

Even then it was almost a relief; Icy is doing much better if she has the energy and ability to fist fight Stormy again. A relief indeed until Stormy bites Icy and then Icy straddles Stormy and begins pulling at her hair. They are both screeching now and shouting. For someone with a raging infection who had almost been eaten alive, Icy is surprisingly difficult to pull away from Stormy. Darcy gets the sense that she had only been able because Icy is still decently weak with fever and over exerting her magic. 

“What’s wrong with you!?” Darcy shouts.

Icy blinks up at Darcy and peers at her scuffed hands and then back at Darcy. 

“Leave Stormy alone! Earlier you were talking about how worried you are that the monster is going to kill and eat her. Well the monster won’t have to kill her if you do it first!”

“I wouldn’t kill Stormy.” Icy mutters quietly. 

“Maybe not on purpose.” Darcy slaps her hands against her thighs. “Darkness, Icy, I don’t think that you realize how strong you are even when you aren’t using magic.”

Icy fidgets with the crystal pendant of her necklace and nudges the ground with her foot. She doesn’t meet Darcy’s eyes. “Okay, Darcy.” She frowns to herself. “Stormy’s hair is so floofy, I thought that it would absorb the punches.”

Darcy sighs. Darkness, she really doesn’t realize how easy it is for her to hurt Stormy. “Yeah, it doesn’t work like that.” Her stomach flutters all over again. She hates that she is the only one of them who hasn’t fully reverted yet. 

So maybe she should just give in. Her head is constantly pounding from trying to keep her mind intact. And that pounding is steadily growing in to a full migraine. 

.oOo.

“We’re going to go and find some herbs and make more ointment for you, okay?”

It isn’t. 

Not at all. 

She is mean to them and they hate her.

She knows that if they leave her they won’t come back.

They are scared of her. 

They probably wouldn’t be if they knew how afraid she is. 

How much she wants someone to pluck her…pluck all three of them from this forest a put them somewhere where they can sleep without having to worry about waking up separated and in the grasp of something with sharp crooked teeth and limbs that are slightly too long.

How much she wants someone to hold her. 

“Don’t leave me alone, Darcy. I don’t want to be alone again.” 

She doesn’t tell them why, they don’t seem to notice how closely the creature is stalking, they don’t know that it lingering just outside of where their campfire light reaches and she doesn’t want them to feel more dread than they already do.

It is a different one although it wears the skin of the creature she had slain. She doesn’t know what this newcomer actually looks like, just that she hates it more. Because what kind of monstrosity delights in wearing the skin of monsters?

Darcy fixes her with that stern look that she has been sending her way since the fight with Stormy. “Icy you need…”

“Don’t leave me, Darcy!” She grabs her hand quite forcefully.

Her expression softens. With a sigh she says, “alright, we can try to find the herbs as we walk tomorrow.”

“Sleep here.” Icy pats the spot to the right of her. “And Stormy can stay to over there.”

Icy likes being in the middle. She can be by both of her sisters that way. 

Of course this puts her in both biting and drooling range of Stormy. And more often than not Stormy does wiggle close enough to drool on her shoulder. It is gross but she thinks that she would rather have that right now. At least she’ll know that Stormy’s still there. 

“What if I want to sleep in the middle?” Stormy asks. 

“Then you’ll have to deal with it.” Icy replies. It’s okay if they think that she is bossy. Because she is. But also because she can keep track of them better if she lets them think so. 

With a huff and a grumpy grumble, Stormy flops down on the spot to the left furthest away from the monster that wears monster skin. Darcy and Stormy sleep very well but Icy doesn’t. The creature doesn’t move closer as long as she holds her stare.

[lordsofthevideowasteland]

love this part in nosferatu where willem dafoe and lilly rose depl looks into the camera and thanks the trans people in the audience

Nosferatu (2024) dir. Robert Eggers

[cloudministertechnologies2]

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[linguistlist-blog]

Confs: 8th International Workshop on Dependency Grammar (DepLing 2025)

Notification of acceptance: 2 June 2025 camera ready papers: 16 June 2025 Early bird registration: June 2025 http://dlvr.it/TJTnSg