#depends on how long i drag out certain scenes ig

[myymi]

i don't ever post multichapter fics until they are finished because i know i am very likely to abandon them if i do (it's not intentional.. more of an out of sight out of mind thing) but i am this 👌 close to posting the one of the multichap fics im working on because i wanna talk about it but i don't wanna spoil it and there's still so much to write before it's finished and it's killing me

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: In The Silence I Hear You

Recently, @skadventuretime, @eerna (JoKay on Discord) and @amberlehcar stopped by to chat about their 2016 Resbang, In The Silence I Hear You! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Okay, first of all thanks for single handedly getting me to finally watch YLIA lol! My question to madi is, what was the inspiration behind soul's nightmares? Because that was something I noticed was different from the source material! I mean, they were there but yours were way more nightmarish and horrifying lol! (That is absolutely a compliment by the way.) What made you go that route?

madi: ahahaha 1) You're very welcome, that anime Ruined me and one of the first things I did after watching it and Soul Eater around the same time was look for the AU, because surely it had to be a thing. When it wasn't, I was like welp, I know what I must do. As for the nightmare inspiration, it was part Soul having them in canon and part just what sort of came out of me as I wrote. It wasn't planned per se. I tended to sort of let what happened happen at those parts and just intuited nightmares there, though I did sort of intentionally have them stop as he began to open up to Maka more.

Q: I would like to know how Jo determines how many sparkles to put in an art piece for maximum heartbreak.

JoKay: Simply. I just really love sparkles and let them do whatever they want in my work.~~ BD

madi: OkAY. CAN I JUST FIRST SAY MY FAV THING ABOUT JO'S ART. Because the way she did the mirroring is incredible. Like, this is my desktop background. They go together so well:

Q: Favourite moment in the fic or about the art?

madi: I think my favorite moment was writing Soul beginning to get through his block. I ended up having a lot of fun with the over-the-top synesthetic music bits and that part was very heartfelt for me.

JoKay: Favourite moment in the fic: the hospital visiting. I wanted to illustrate it really badly and ranted to Madi like. For days. About all the ideas I've had. It was heartbreaking but colorful and vivid, and the way Madi writes the two is just.... ahhhhhIhhhHHHH

madi: And like, Jo paid attention to the little details?? ? ?? Like, his tie isnt tied there. I just threw in some little bit about how he thought his tie would be crooked since Maka wasnt there to help him and ladjglkdsfg. I forgot about it tho til I saw her art.

JoKay: You threw in so many little details that struck me and I thought "YES I WANNA MAKE THIS A PART OF THE PICTURE SOMEHOW"

Q: Care to talk a little about your process? What program do you use?

JoKay: Sure! I start off with rereading the text I want to illustrate about ten times. I die a bit and try to remember the feeling to capture it. I make a traditional pencil sketch. For the Maka picture I had to take some references of myself with a violin, which... took a long time to get right haha. Next I take a picture of the sketch and do lineart in an app called MediBang Paint on my Samsung. I choose a color palette, pick the bg color, and put down basic colors. I shade, then add multiply and overlay layers to add lighting, and this is where the final palette and overall feeling gets formed. And then, best for last, the sparkles! Which usually take 3-4 layers, depending on opacity I want.

Q: This was a difficult read (in the best way); what scene/scenes did you find most difficult to write?

madi: I ended up going back and rewriting a good chunk of the beginning third of the fic around November/December because it just wasnt getting at what I wanted, tone or writing quality-wise. I have a ~12k doc of dumped/scrapped stuff from this. /cries. But specific scene wise, hm. I agonized a bit over the hospital scene with Spirit a little, because I wanted that to hit a certain kind of helpless sadness where there is nothing you can do to fix anything.

Q: This had such emotional depth to it and lots of moving pieces of grief and accurate descriptions of guilt/grief that hit me hard. Was it hard to write something so emotional and was it as much of an emotional journey writing as it was reading?

madi: I guess, well. writing for me, and I think a lot of people, can be a very intimate look at who a person is, and I think that's where the guilt/grief came from. I tend to internalize a lot of that stuff, especially with the grief/regret/wistfulness, so I think that's where all that came from. And it's funny, it wasnt hard to write in the moment, as I was listening to a bunch of ridiculous music and yelling at/with Bones about her Resbang at the same time, but looking back I can definitely see a journey and it was as much because of the friends I made during this process as much as the act of writing. [For example], around the part where maka dusts off the piano, Bones came in with some Real Piano Experience and helped me understand what actually goes into that and how long it'd take for things to actually lose tone, etc. and I was like, heck, i didnt think about that, having not played a classical piano. Moral of the story is this is why betas are gr9. It's fucking sappy as shit, but it's true. I learned sO much about not just writing, but also life and irl shit from my betababes. Part of my Process turned out to be letting Bones throw me all sorts of cognitive dissonance shit and terrorize me with very emotional music, and then I'd mix a drink and get to it. I stg it felt like I was tripping balls when I wrote most of the music scenes, tipsy and listening to BT. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HyGf2mTP2_Y).

Q: That golden swoop in her dress on the right side is what really kills me. That exiting feeling.

madi: So fun story: Jo sent me her second piece a few days before posting and I legit teared up.

JoKay: Handkerchiefs all over the place.

madi: All. Over. I also tried to sort of avoid the awkward love triangle in the anime bc i didnt feel like it really fit SoMa. Also, this is what me and Jo's convos looked like a lot towards the end:

Q: Adverb gate time?

madi: To explain adverbgate, basically, Bones came in and 1) made me realize I overused adverbs 2) this led to me realizing oH by not using them and applying better characterization things, all is better than the first time. I told all my betas, and part of the reason I asked who I asked, [was for them] to not hold back and if they saw something they thought was off or whatever, to tell me and not worry about hurting my feelings because i was in this to improve and learn. I'd much rather have it done like this, because now I really feel like I learned a lot and got better. Bones went from the 98 edits in chap 1 or 2, to 4 [edits] in the last one. And one of them was this: http://imgur.com/R3L4S9b

Q: I wanna know Amber, what made you decide to do a VA project? It turned out so freakin well and you guys were so good T.T

JoKay: The VA was so perfect, I teared up a bit. Beautifully done.

AmberLehcar: I was an amateur voice actor on YouTube prior to joining tumblr (good luck finding anything I was in though. /cries) And I'm a competitve asshole so I was like "I'm gonna be different."

Q: Anything in particular that made you choose that specific scene to do?

AmberLehcar: I asked Madi right away what she wanted. And it wasn't even written yet when I asked lol.

madi: Like, okay, when she sent me the first clips, I was blown away because they sounded better than over half the English dubs I've seen. Yeahhh I uh, I could have been more on top of things. But I knew that scene was gonna be in there and it sounded like the kinda emotional moment that would be good for her project, so I wrote that scene out of order.

AmberLehcar: I love it, it's so good. Madi was there while Brian was recording. She's a director now :3 She heard all the ridiculousness.

madi: You guys were soooo gooood! And your puppy, ahhhh. I still have that laugh track, too.

AmberLehcar: My pup wanted to be a star. I was so nervous [that] the piano bit was so bad people would hate it. It dragged so long. In writing it works so well. Listening, though...

madi: Man, you captured the transition well tho, of him slowly finding his sound and no longer needing to hear it through her.

AmberLehcar: Playing badly and repeating playing badly is tough, dude, so I'm glad it worked nicely.

Q: Did you make a public playlist of the stuff you listened to?

madi: OhH yes, yes i did /slinks off. Not fully included on there is the copious amounts of BT and Stuntin Like Mufasa I chainsmoked: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhw3nWRXdsh-jPe7SXHPy-NOT4-PtY1yt. I also feel obligated to note that Bones did play a p important role not only as beta, but as general conspirator/friend and writing mentor, and being free with her music trenchcoat.

Q: Jo, do you have any art/style/artist inspirations?

JoKay: Yeah! Artists that make my inspiration wander could be found on tumblr as viria, lukrecious, loish, mormoc, also IG mizymiyajima and cyarine. IRL I live for Alphonse Mucha's work.

Q: I feel like we should put an honorable mention for amanda's and zxanthe's contribution.

madi: YES, ZXANTHMANDA'S COVER OF HALLELUJAH WOUNDED ME SO PLS LET IT WOUND YOU: http://zxanthe.tumblr.com/post/157041732943/so-in-honor-of-skadventuretimes-resbang-in-the.

Q: How often do you draw, outta curiosity jo? I remember it being A Lot, but...

JoKay: Depends? If I'm not too busy with school I can make pages worth of sketches a day.

madi: Dark Jo, your sketch books are amazing.

JoKay: Madi, if you saw them, you'd change your mind. They're a hellhole of faint traces of suffering teens and stupid decisions.

Q: Are you working on anything else now Jo? What is on the Horizon?

JoKay: SfTF is the only fic in my opus! Idk I just don't feel confident to write anything else...

madi: (It is a Noragami MMA AU type deal >:))

JoKay: As for paintings... boy does The Lunar Chronicles' fandom have some stuff in store for them once I find the time. I will save up for a proper tablet soon, so that will be a new beginning for me.

madi: Man, the world isnt ready.

madi: I would also attribute this Resbang to teaching me that I apparently can't listen to tone-appropriate music while doing a scene, so that was a learning curve. I ended up with a bunch of upbeart mashups/disney rap during the sad scenes. Like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdSo1oY_GB4

JoKay: It was fun talking to all of you and listening to more behind-the-scenes discoveries of this great fic~

madi: I also wanna take a sec to be sappy again about everything I learned throughout this process from my partners and betas. Y'all are super swell.

Thanks to the creators for stopping by! That ends our AMA Transcripts for the Resbang season - thanks for reading and congrats to all of this year's Resbang participants :) We'll see you all in 2018!