#dense whips only so those freaks can build nests

[twunkzilla]

I hate seeing all that shit about "oughnn healthy forest no logging" cause like bro this is a five dimensional topic like hippie movement is over can we just focus on objective information... like if u want these rarer tree species nd maintenance of biodiversity lost from climate change and monoculturing we r going to have to clearcut and leave them there so they can seed themselves. yeah and totally fuck up the soil like drive the tractor alllll up in there and run over all those little undesired baby tree species. yeah and we're gonna shoot all the deer so they can't decimate all the saplings. sorryyy

[fangirl--of-everything]

The Snake Handler (Sweet Pea x Reader) Part 2

A/N. I am so sorry this took so long! But here it is, and hopefully part 3 goes faster. Also, don’t get me started an riverdale season 2 and the way they handled Penny’s return and the plot twists and the finale and all that shit. Just... I mean do get me started but be ready for a rant. 

word count: 2388

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

Alright enjoy :) 

Riverdale High is a pretty cool school, Sweet Pea had to admit as he walked out of his science class. He had just conducted an experiment where every student got to dissect a digital frog using an iPad. This freaking school didn’t get frogs for the kids to dissect. No, they just bought twenty-five iPads and let the kids use those! He was still reeling from that when he slammed into a hard shoulder. Without looking he grabbed the back of the person’s jacket, and spun them around, fist stopping inches from their face. He cackled at Fangs’ frightened shriek.

“Fuck you dude!” The smaller serpent swore, straightening the collar of his shirt.

“Don’t walk into me and I won’t have to beat the shit out of you.” Sweet Pea said it like a fact. To him, it was.

Fangs immediately grinned, and the two began playfully shoving each other around the hallway. Eventually Sweet Pea had his friend pinned against the locker, ruining Fangs’ hair, when his phone started buzzing in his pocket.

“Are you getting a call, or are you just really excited to have me pinned?” Fangs asked.

Sweet Pea shoved his friend’s head playfully, and then reached into his pocket. “It’s been ringing all day, shit must be hitting the fan.”

He didn’t recognize the number, so he knew it wasn’t something wrong at the gang. He considered ignoring it, but his phone had rang three times in the last hour. Clearly someone was desperate for his attention. He accepted the call, using his free hand to keep Fangs pinned to the locker. “What’s up?”

“You never used to take this long to answer my calls.”

Sweet Pea froze. Fangs must have felt the change, because he broke free of Sweet Pea’s hold. “What’s going on?”

Sweet Pea held up a hand. “What the hell are you doing calling me?”

He could hear Penny Peabody’s smirk through the phone. “You know who didn’t take a long time to answer?”

“Penny, what the fuck are you--” He growled.

“Miss (y/n) was very sweet.”

Sweet Pea’s stomach dropped. Fangs was watching closely, brows furrowing. “Penny? Peabody? Tell me what’s happening man.”

“She’s actually on the way to the Parlour to help me look for you.” Penny continued. “Tell Fangs I say hello.”

“I--” Sweet Pea opened his mouth, but the words got drowned by a wave of hot anger. “What--”

“Listen honey, I’m not phoning for your brain. If my calculations are right, your girlfriend will be here in twenty minutes. Think you can beat her here?”

His knuckles were white around the phone. “If you touch her--”

“What are you gonna do to me?” She laughed. “Last time didn’t stick. Now do you want me to settle the score with your girl, or are you gonna get here before she does? It looks like she’s only about eighteen minutes away, so you’d better hurry.”

The line clicked as she hung up, and Sweet Pea was left staring at his phone with his mouth hanging open. What the flying fuck just happened? For a second he was frozen, completely in shock.

“Dude!” Fangs shook his shoulder hard. “What the hell is going on?”

It was like Fangs’ words shattered the ice that had frozen Sweet Pea’s blood. He saw red. His fist slammed into the locker, the metal denting around his hand. The entire hallway fell silent, forty pairs of eyes whipping around to look at him, but he didn’t care. He was practically shaking with fury. Even Fangs’ voice, which was pretty good at snapping him out of any bouts of rage he managed to find himself in, did nothing to calm him down. He grabbed the smaller boy’s collar and dragged him through the hall, shouldering past a junior who took too long to get out of his way. Once they got outside Fangs elbowed him hard in the ribs, and the pain was enough to distract him and get him to loosen his hold enough for Fangs to wiggle free.

“What the hell is going on?” Fangs snapped. He wasn’t angry though, instead it was with concern that he looked at his friend. “Did you say Penny Peabody before?”

Sweet Pea nodded, spitting out the most necessary details in the time it took him to get in his bike. “Don’t follow me.”

“You need back up man,” Fangs said, already pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Jug and Toni are gonna wanna know about this.”

“Penny’s pissed.” Sweet Pea snapped, too furious at himself to soften his words. “If she hears bikes she’s gonna get jumpy, and when she gets jumpy she shoots things. So no one is telling anyone anything until I get (y/n) the hell out of there.” Something in his face must have told his best friend that now was not the time to argue with him, because the smaller boy just held up his hands in defeat and took a step away from Sweet Pea’s bike.

“If I don’t hear from you in half an hour I’m going to the Serpents.” He threatened.

“If you don’t hear from me in half an hour then Penny’s already killed me, so there’s really no point.” Sweet Pea revved his bike’s engine, drowning out the other boy’s protests. He didn’t even wait for Fangs to take another step back before he peeled out of the space. He was pretty sure he didn’t run over the other boy’s toes. But honestly he was moving so fast he wouldn’t have felt it if he had.

He broke about 27 laws of the road on the way to the tattoo parlour, but he didn’t care. There were no cops in the north side of Riverdale. The south side was more densely populated by police officers, but even here, there were worse parts of town that they focused on. And Sweet Pea was an expert at avoiding them.

He slid into the parking lot of the tattoo parlour just as the engine of (y/n)’s truck turned off. It was sunny back here, and the parking lot was empty. It was at the back of the building, which meant it was nice and private. Its border of dark fence and weeds and garbage isolated it even more. And Penny had a reputation in the community. People knew when to turn off their ears.

He jumped off his bike, making no attempt to catch the heavy metal as it teetered and fell on its side. He could fix a dent or two later. He sprinted across the lot, panic making him clumsy, and reached the truck just as (y/n) was closing the door. Her eyebrows were drawn together with concern as she saw him, and she opened her mouth to speak. He didn’t give her the chance.

“Get back in the car.”

“Sweet Pea, thank god you’re--”

“Get back in the car.”He grabbed her arm, too tight but he didn’t care, and tried to find a way to get the door back open while keeping (y/n) safely between himself and the truck. Penny was a serpent if ever there was one, and he didn’t know where she would pop up. Or when. His only concern was getting (y/n) the hell away from this before she got hurt.

“What are you doing?” She wrenched her arm free, slamming her back against the side of the truck in the process. She was glaring at him now, angry from the rough handling, but there was still that damn concern on her face. “Your aunt called me and said you were missing, and I hadn’t heard from you in a few days, and I wanted to make sure you were okay. Why the hell are you shoving me?”

He wanted to laugh at how gullible she was, but she hadn’t grown up in the same world as he had. It wasn’t drilled into her that no one could be trusted, and that the sweeter they sounded the sharper the knife they were going to drive into your back. He couldn’t fault her for not knowing.

“You’re so stupid.” His anger made him harsh. “Get back in the fucking car and stay away from the south side. Especially Penny Peabody.”

Her glare grew sharper, but he saw hurt underneath. Good. Maybe now she would use her head instead of rushing into a serpents nest.

“I came here to make sure you were okay,” she snapped, “because I got a call from a very concerned woman who was scared for your life. Next time I’ll tell anyone who calls me asking about you to go to hell.” She yanked her arm free and gave him a hard shove backwards. “If you want me to go I’ll go.”

“Nobody’s going anywhere.”

Sweet Pea whipped around with a growl, planting himself between (y/n) and the blonde woman emerging from the back door of the tattoo parlour. Penny smirked at his reaction, and Sweet Pea’s stomach turned. She was so pissed. And he was so fucked. Penny wore her traditional leather jacket, the serpent’s patch on the back acting as a massive ‘fuck you’ to Jughead and all the serpents who has helped him exile her. She wasn’t taking it lying down, and there was going to be blood to pay. Better his than (y/n)’s.

The tiny girl was sandwiched between him and the side of her truck, and she kept trying to sidestep him. She had no survival instinct. Sweet Pea’s every instinct was telling him to haul ass out of there and take (y/n) as far from the south side as he could, but she kept trying to step around him and walk towards the venomous bitch waiting to strike. He had to grab both her hips to keep her behind him.

“Sweet Pea!” Penny’s voice was filled with mock concern. “Thank god you’re here! I’ve been worried sick.” She took a step forward.

“Back off.” He snapped, keeping one hand on (y/n)’s hip, the other reaching into his pocket for his switchblade.

Penny looked at him sadly, maternal concern all over her face. Damn she was good. “I’m just trying to help you kiddo. Please calm down.”

“Sweet Pea,” (y/n)’s voice was soft behind him. “You’re scaring me.” It was so full of genuine concern, the kind that was incredibly rare where he was from, that he couldn’t resist glancing over his shoulder at her. In doing so his hand left her hip.

Her fingers dig into his sides, two sharp jolts of pain that jerked up his body and caused him to convulse for a second. She took that opportunity to slip out from behind him. He could have kicked himself. Not only had she manipulated his soft side for her, she had actually tasered him to get away. He was such a fucking idiot.

“(Y/n), are you alright?” Penny asked, still with that fake concern. Sweet Pea could punch something.

“Yeah,” (y/n) nodded, sliding a few feet to the right, putting more distance between herself and Sweet Pea. And putting herself closer to Penny. When he moved towards her she flinched, watching him warily, like he was the threat.

“What did you tell her?” Sweet Pea turned to glare at Penny, who had triumph blazing in her eyes even while her face looked worried.

She blinked at him innocently. “I just told her the truth hon. I was worried about you.”

Sweet Pea whipped his head to look at (y/n), who tensed as he moved. “What did she say to you?” 

“She told me about the drugs.” (Y/n) said quietly. She was looking at him with pity. “She said you went on a bender and that last time this happened you hurt yourself. I just want to help.”

Sweet Pea barked a mirthless laugh. Oh, Penny was good. She was really fucking good. She had played (y/n) like a fiddle, and now anything Sweet Pea said would look like drug crazed paranoia instead of genuine concern. He had to give the snake handler some grudging respect. She was a psycho bitch, but she was smart.

And he clearly had to change tactics. “I’m not on drugs.” He said quietly, trying to calm down. If he could just get (y/n) close enough, he could keep her safe.

(Y/n) raised an eyebrow, and Penny shook her head sadly, eyes dancing with laughter. “Denial isn’t going to help you Pea. Come inside, and let’s talk.”

“I’m not going anywhere with you, and neither is (y/n).” Sweet Pea snapped. (Y/n) took another step away from him. Shit.

His mind worked desperately to try to find some way to prove Penny was the crazy one, not him. Every action he could think of would just drive (y/n) further away.

“Do you want something to drink?” Penny asked (y/n).

The younger girl blinked in surprise at the topic change. “I’m sorry?”

“If me and you go inside, he’ll follow.” Penny said. “Clearly he doesn’t trust me right now, but he trusts you. Maybe if you come inside with me he’ll see that it’s safe.” She met Sweet Pea’s gaze as she spoke. “Otherwise someone might get hurt.”

The threat was obvious, but just in case he didn’t get the message Penny reached behind her, for the gun she had tucked into the back of her pants. There was nothing he could do. (Y/n) shot him a nervous look and stepped closer to Penny.

“Don’t.” This time he made no effort to hide his panic, and something must have tipped her off because (y/n) stopped. She took another step, this time towards him.

“Alright that’s it.” Penny’s voice was hard, and the gun was in her hand, the safety making a sickening click as she disabled it. (Y/n) froze when she saw it, eyes the size of saucers. Sweet Pea’s stomach dropped. “Both of you, inside now. Sweet Pea, if you reach for the knife I shoot your girlfriend.”

If you see any typos, let me know. I hope you liked it :)

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