#deh dearevanhansen dehconnormurphy dehalanabeck dehjaredkleinman dehevanhansen dehmiguel dehzoemurphy kleinsen conguel galaxygals

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

Maybe just one more...

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Alana: I don't want to control everything!

Alana: I just want people and events to mold to my desire!!

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Jared: I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.

Connor: If your still alive at 80, I will demand a medical explanation.

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Evan: Would you please not Jared this into a worse situation than it already is?

Jared: Hold on, did you just use my name as a verb??

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Evan: We're having another moment, aren't we?

Jared: If by a moment, you mean me not wanting to strangle you for the first time since we met, then I guess we are.

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Zoe: This is the worst thing you've ever done!

Connor: You say that so much that at this point it's lost all of it's meaning.

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Connor: Frankly, I would say I'm gayer than you.

Jared: How are you gayer than I am?

Connor: Well, I wear a man purse.

Jared: That's not gay! That's hideous! And if you were as gay as I am, you'd know that!

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Jared, about Evan: I don't have a crush on him. He's just someone I stare at and I like and when he's not here, it ruins my day.

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Evan: Why do you always turn everything into a joke?

Jared: Generally, it's to avoid confronting the very real and difficult issues that most proper adults have to deal with.

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Evan: Hey, Connor, can I get some dating advice?

Connor: Just because I'm with Miguel doesn't mean I know how I did it.

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Evan: Be careful!

Jared: I always am.

Connor: Respectfully disagree.

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Jared: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on here?!

Zoe: It's kind of complicated. But Evan-

Jared: Got it. Forget I asked.

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Zoe, about Alana: It's werd... I just.. I like her. Much.

Evan:

Evan: You

Evan: You like her much???

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Zoe: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for you.

Miguel: Connor would throw himself out of a moving car for fun!!

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Connor: Helpful grammar tip: “farther” is for physical distance, “further” is for metaphorical distance, and “father” is for emotional distance!

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Evan: Does anyone know how to relax? Asking for a friend.

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Jared: *Mindlessly flirting with Evan*

Evan: *Actually flirts back*

Jared:

Evan:

Evan: You're not gonna say anything?

Jared, panicking: I don't know. I didn't think I'd ever actually get this far.

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Evan: What's the dumbest thing that you believed as a child?

Jared: That naptimes were a punishment.

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Jared: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Evan: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!

Jared: What? No! Four to five!

Evan: Too late!

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Miguel: I drink to forget, but I always remember...

Connor:

Connor: You're drinking orange juice.

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Connor: Coffee or tea?

Evan: Tea.

Connor: Wrong. It's coffee.

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Jared: I left instructions for everyone for while I'm gone.

Evan: Mine just says 'Evan, no.'

Jared: Yes, and I want you to apply that to every situation ever.

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Miguel: What's the name of that guy that lives down the hall?

Connor: His cat's names are Fifi and Abigail.

Miguel: That's not what I asked?

Connor: That is all the information I have

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Jared: We tried things your way.

Connor: No we didn't.

Jared: ...I did it in my head and it didn't work out.

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Zoe, ordering coffee: I'd like a light roast,

Jared: You're kinda ugly.

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Miguel: I'm the kind of person who likes to think things through!

Connor: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire.

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Zoe: This is so frustrating! I hate everything, I hate everybody!

Evan: ...Everybody?

Zoe, sighing: Everybody but you.

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Evan: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Connor: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

[takemebacktowheniwassane]

More Incorrect DEH Quotes <3

(Trying to lower my stress levels with these lmao)

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Jared: Let me copy your homework.

Connor: I was gonna copy yours.

Jared: Well, shit.

Connor: Guess I'm just not doing it, then.

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Evan: I can't tell if your just incredibly arrogant or a genius.

Jared: On a good day, I'm both.

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Connor: You read my fucking journal?

Zoe: Well, at first, I didn't know it was your journal.

Zoe: I thought it was a very sad, handwritten novel.

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Evan: How stupid do you think I am?!

Jared: Do you really want an honest answer to that?

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Jared: What the fuck?? People actually tell their crushes they like them???

Zoe: What the hell do you do??

Jared: I die?? What kind of question...

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Connor: I should be allowed on Ghost Hunter TV shows.

Evan: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts...

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Evan: Why is it so hard for you to believe me??

Alana:

Evan: Oh right. The lying.

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Evan: I made this friendship bracelet for you :)

Jared: Well, uh, I'm not really a jewelry person...

Evan: You don't have to wear i--

Jared, holding the bracelet away from him: No, I'm wearing it. Forever. Back off.

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Jared: I'm 80% awesome, 20% water, and 100% handsome.

Evan: That's 200%

Jared: I'm twice the man you'll ever be

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Jared: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Connor:

Connor: I like you.

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Alana: You think your smarter than everyone else...!

Jared: Oh, I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else.

Jared: I know I am.

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Alana: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Connor: No... well, their slowness.

Alana: Their weakness is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Connor: Now I have a plan.

Connor: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

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Alana: I couldn't do this without you, Zoe.

Zoe: No, you probably could, just not as stylishly.

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Jared: I want to kiss you.

Evan, not paying attention: What?

Jared: I said if you died, I wouldn't miss you.

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Evan: I’m in love with you.

Jared: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Evan: I know.

Jared: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

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Evan: I fell—

Jared: From heaven?

Evan: No, I literally fell—

Jared: In love with me the moment you saw me?

Evan: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Jared: Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

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Miguel: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Connor: Oh. We're going out?

Miguel: Wh...

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Miguel: I'm gonna go take a shower.. wanna help me out?~

Connor: You've... never taken a shower before???

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Jared: We both look very handsome tonight.

Evan: You know, if you'd just said that I looked handsome, I would have said, "So do you."

Jared: I couldn't take that chance.

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Connor: Miguel is playing hard-to-get.

Connor: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard-to-get-rid-of.

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Miguel: Are you ready to commit?

Connor: Like, a crime or a relationship?

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Zoe: So you like cats?

Alana: Mhm :>

Zoe: *Tries to impress her by slowly starting to push a glass off of the table*

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Alana: Why don’t you go talk to him?

Jared, sarcastically: Oh. Yeah, sure.

Alana: What? So you go tell him he's cute, what’s the worst that could happen?

Jared: He could hear me.

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Connor: Did it hurt when you fell-

Miguel: From heaven? Wow, I didn’t think you were such a flirt-

Connor: No, I meant when you fell down the stairs

Miguel: ...

Connor: You just laid there for 15 minutes.

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Alana: Are you trying to seduce me?

Zoe: I don't know, are you seducible?