#definitely inspired by the fact that the girl playing sir andrew in my college's production is playing him as incredibly oblivious & gay

[libraryleopard]

Twelfth Night characters ranked by how aware they are of their own gayness

Viola: Has an entire flustered soliloquy/gay crisis after a girl flirts with her. Definitely latches onto her crush on Orsino to avoid acknowledging any enjoyment of Olivia’s flirtation. Budding genderfluid icon who keeps coming up with excuses to dress as a guy? 4/10

Sebastian: Look, the guy accidentally married a complete stranger, there’s no way he has awareness of ANYTHING. On the other hand, Antonio emphasizes that they spent both days AND nights together for three months, so ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 5/10 as a compromise

Orsino: Possibly one of the most oblivious men in the planet? Definitely had feelings for Viola even when he thought she was a guy, but shoved said feelings away and projected harder onto his wooing of Olivia. Probably relieved when Viola revealed the truth about her disguise, but can’t quite forget about the whole Cesario thing. 2/10

Olivia: Either an insightful bicon who saw through Viola’s disguise immediately or just subconsciously sapphic. Seems to kind of have her shit together compared to other characters though? 7/10

Sir Toby: Chaotically oblivious bisexual who has no-homoed away some extremely gay situations. 3/10

Maria: There’s literally no textual evidence that she’s anything other than straight, but I like to think she’s the civilized bi counterpart to Sir Toby’s feral bi energy. Also, Sir Toby calls her “Penthesilea” once, the name of a bi icon Amazon queen from Greek mythology. 7/10

Malvolio: Impossible for me to imagine canon Malvolio as anything other than a killjoy straight man. 0/10.

Feste: Literally impossible for me to imagine Feste as completely cisgender & heterosexual. Generally more aware of what’s up than everyone else so probably in touch with himself. 10/10.

Sir Andrew: More interested in hanging out with Sir Toby than actually courting Olivia but has so little original intention/thought that he can’t recognize what a crush is. Definitely has no idea what sex even is. -1000/10

Fabian: Living embodiment of “do it for the vine.” No proof he’s not heterosexual, but no proof that he IS. 6/10.

Antonio: The man, the myth, the LEGEND. Gayly risks his life for Sebastian, gives him all his money, and says that not being with Sebastian would kill him. Also, he’s a pirate, which we all know is the gayest profession. 1000/10.