#definitely going to buy this book
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happy TEN FUCKING YEARS since @gaslampsglow and I shared the only bed, bit each other platonically, fell asleep curled up against each other, and only finally kissed and admitted we were into each other after waking up later that day. (then we had sex like forty seven times.) three months later I moved into their house, and today we made bacon and toast with jam and bingewatched the series finale of ARCANE and screamed and took the dog for a long walk and showed each other things on the internet and went out for dinner and affogato in a favourite neighborhood. tomorrow we make our Sunday morning trek to the farmers market. love you, let's do this a thousand more times. we can cronenberg's-the-fly the genders around again; I bet we can still make some new ones.
#tomorrow is the anniversary of us having sex in a graveyard in lexington kentucky and they sang 'going through the motions'#from the btvs musical and we waltzed around the gravestones#we were so broke that we couldn't actually go on proper dates and if we did go somewhere we had to share a single beer between us#we are definitely not well off but we have a cosy apartment full of light and books and antique store horrors and craft supplies#and we can go to little diners and buy cool scarves and we have a garden#idk it's been some of the worst Times i've ever lived through but also a pretty good ten years all things considered <3#important placeholder tag#the diary
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The independent religious bookstore is the only place you can go on an overpriced shopping spree and feel good about it.
#i was going there to get a baptism gift#(guess who gets to be godmother again!)#(those girls are going to be getting identical presents their whole life)#i went with a crucifix for the baptism present since their statues are very picked over#and the godfather already got one for her (kind of) patron saint#i also got a holy card for her definitely patron saint#and a blanket that was way too expensive but it was pink and guardian angel and also had her name#so it's like it was made for her baptism#and then there was a gorgeous nativity set advent wreath for 75% off so that's for me#plus two 75% off slightly damaged children's book versions of the christmas story#so there's a christmas present for both goddaughters#then a book about catholic motherhood for my sister-in-law since i have her for secret santa#and then i threw in an advent devotional that looks pretty good#i wasn't even trying to buy stuff it all just jumped out at me#but when you're buying from the cute friendly old lady you don't even feel bad about buying more than intended#i feel kind of bad having her wrap the crucifix for me#but also i can't turn down the nostalgic joy of having your present gift-wrapped at the shop#i think that 'gift-wrapper at department store' is one of my nostalgic obsolete dream jobs
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HOZIER & his favourite books I Hugendubel Booketlist
youtube
I am making my way through some of the Hozier interviews and this one is still the most relatable ever. Also I did not know this was for a German bookstore.
#hozier#in truth i don't know how many books i own#it's definitely more than i have read#when i obsess over something i'll allow it to ruin my life#i go to a bookstore to get one book that i wanna read and then i buy seven
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this is killing me. I just saw him in-game. i just saw him. he ran up a cliff and i have no idea where he went, bilbo why didn't you give me this questline sooner aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#lotro spoilers#why can't i tell bilbo i just saw him#oh well at least i get to go on a field trip#All the bilbo content in this game is great & his additional questline is definitely on my to-buy list#i'm glad i and this game are in agreement that bilbo burglar baggins would interview the cannibal frog for the red book if he was findable
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I'm waiting on the library so I can listen to the last two books in the Murderbot Diaries. I technically could buy the next two dramatized audiobooks, but I'd rather buy the series in book form and if I buy the last two audiobooks I'd need to buy the first five so I could relisten to them all and then well, I'll have spent so much money that buying the physical books would be out of my budget
#it was just under $100 to buy the hard cover books on Amazon last night and the dramatize audiobook was liek $80#that the price of a whole nice new ereader sooo#i am going to check more used book stores to see if i can lower the price because the places i checked last night were about as much as new#i also kinda want the books in ebook format#ok i definitely want the books in ebook format because that how i prefer to read#but i also have a need to own the physical copies#i just really want the Murderbot Diaries merch#and i haven't figured out how/what to make some#but having the books would be like having the best merch#so all my problems could once again be solved by either not living in a society that used $ or by having much more $ myself#im going to go back to figuring out all the confirmed facts of Murderbot's appearance and maybe I'll come up with a cool art to make#and then the desired merch will be mine (evil laughter)#personal
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Mmm
Ugh. Writing is on the wall for this one folks. I'm trying to remain positive but I will be surprised if Adams stays on the Flash series after the Flash #800.
#i am. incredibly confused.#they just gave him another book so he's still doing comics. plus he just got marvel books.#so hes definitely not done comics. and they're ongoings as well.#its possible he couldn't juggle them all and he dropped the Flash. but hes talking like DC is kicking him off not the other way around#but his Flash book is selling out??? and reprinting#its doing so well??? DC would have to be nuts to kick Adams off the Flash or cancel the series#if they cancel the Flash im done buying comics fr#my only thought is that they cancelled it or someone big wanted to write it and they couldn't say no#Mark Waid just came back to DC.... Johns is back.... Williamson is using Barry for something.... idk. itd have to be one of them#but i don't know that Waid and Johns would go back. they told their story. they certainly wouldn't kick Adams off the book#Williamson might. idk. he got a promotion so hed have the power to do so. he also is using Barry for something and keeps saying that#he wanted to use Wally and Bart but wasn't allowed to when he wrote the Flash. so he might want a second shot#but idk. pessimist in me is saying that its cancelled :(#dc#dc comics#the flash
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If you're interested in supporting the get Sophie to Vermont fund Moss Ink. is my main source of income and any support is greatly appreciated 🧡
etsy | instagram
#tried to showcase some of things I'm most proud of but I have a lot of stuff up rn#I even have a little pumpkin frog pin if you want to go and look at him#I'm working on widening the shipping for my books because right now I'm only shipping domestic#i will open shipping for Europe definitely#but my prints stickers and pins are all global shipping#and I will have more lino prints up in the next few weeks as a few people have asked#i know it's a bit early for holiday shopping but if you'd like to keep me in mind#and I'll be making more books in time for December#i hate promoting myself so much but it is a necessary evil#and I'm really proud of a lot of the work I've done recently#anyway if just buying things from me isn't enough incentive you'll be donating to a worthy cause (getting me some [redacted])#so if you believe in gay love !!!#Moss Ink.#🍊🐸#bookbinding
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[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
#obviously tagging this as#vent -#lol. lmao. anyway.#when i say i spent all day on this... jumping from base to base trying to find one that worked well for what i wanted#and had the right face shape and the easiest way to map a face onto it and know it'll look Right when embroidered...#and then i just caved and bought a book i'd been looking at since i started making mini ren lol#(by p.iyo p.icco -- their y.outube videos influenced mini ren's design and i plan to give that credit once i post final pics#along with the person who made the 10cm doll base i used.)#and it took so much effort and i kept thinking about how Fucking Tired i am and how frustrating it is that playing cards w family#means i have to spend 2 days recovering bc sitting up + in a chair w no good support + mental games + being social = negative battery.#and then i keep going in circles about ren's backstory and the whole 'this is a story about conditions i have but for anyone#who doesn't know me it DEFINITELY reads like a gross story about a stigmatized condition i DON'T have so i have to tread#very carefully when writing about it... but i don't practice writing like i practice art so i'm simply not at the skill level#to navigate that and it makes me feel like i can't post any of that until i figure it out' Thing...#but i DID finish my plushie pattern. and i will start on it sometime this week? depending on Factors? and if i reeeeally like how it#turns out i might buy The Plushie Making Fabric™... i checked at a craft store and buying 1/4yd of both fabrics won't break the bank...#and then i could make all of his AU selves w different expressions 😏#anyway. recovery officially starts in a few days (doc appts and pest control coming over this week + dogsitting in a few days.#not great for recovery lol lmao.) so hopefully i'll be more Around here by this weekend. idk. don't hold me to that kjsndkjn#i might get sucked into plushie making again and disappear for 3 days straight kjsdnfkjsdnf ;;;#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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@goodbye-little-yellow-bird recommended this self published phantom book and the preview is amazing! i was looking for the full thing...
and discovered that it was originally a 2005 fic!! :o
#and not long after drafting this post he mentions the original ;)#the story follows a woman named genevieve a year after the original story#she's headstrong and erik is a little creepier than usual but still very ghostly! ;)#the author said the book was more leroux inspired and i can definitely see it#i went to chapter 11 and a broad chest isn't very skelly like! ;)#14 years later it became an actual book! :o#the phantom saga was sort of the same way in that it was written long before publication#the third self published phantom book only took a few months to be published wink wink! ;)#i already have a couple little references in there!#many many measurements and some relaxing scents! ;)#idk if i'll buy it since it's over 400 pages... and i already have some big phantom books! ;)#and i can guess how it might go judging by the reviews#lots of steamy romance... ;)
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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I miss them...........
#finally back to my middle school habit of reading 1-2 books per week#BUT CAUSE I'M AT UNI ALL OF MY BOOKS ARE AT HOMEEE#AND IVE READ ALL THE ONES I HAVE UP HERE#I AM OUT OF BOOKS TO READ#PDFS ARENT GOOD ENOUGH#I NEED TO SMELL THEM AND FEEL THE PAPER IN MY HANDS#resisting the urge to go to the antique bookstore and buy more used books that I definitely can't afford#sobbing biting eating drywall gnawing on my own bones
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if you really love matthew perry, please read his memior. he's not a profound writer by any stretch, but... it's his life story.
#*and this is icarly!#matthew perry#friends lovers and the big terrible thing#it's definitely not a book that i feel like you can really give a star rating on#but he takes you through his life and talks mostly about his addiction#he talks about it on and off again throughout the book and you really get a sense for how much he was trying to grapple w/ his addiction#the obstacles he has had to overcome throughout the course of his life is just... remarkable#whereever he is now i just sincerely hope he is the most peaceful he's ever been#he fought so hard he deserves to rest now#please go out and buy and read his book 🙏❤️
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I want their fuckin freedom they have no chores no responsibility they can go out with their friends when ever they want for however long they want they can sleep in there bed all day they eat drink drive vehicles use the phone have a home with no bills no expenses they can spend their money on stupid things that bring them joy with no worry of the gas they burned in someone else's vehicle or if there's dinner at home they have no worries about laundry no worries about dishes no worries about the messes they make because they know I'll clean it up always I want to be viewed by my family and by my friends as someone who is an actual person with limits and boundaries and who has goals and dreams they'd like to accomplish in the day besides laundry for 16 people and not a tireless cleaning machine. I want to be able to rest and have hobbies I want to be able to do things with my partner and my friends again I want to be able to fuckin daydream and make up stories again for Christ sake I want to feel like a person and not a corpse forced into playing "tradwife" I want the freedom they all have while I'm in the background doin they're dishes.
#i don't mind helping with chores but it's the fact I'm the only one qnd i can get my four youngest to help me with bribes of sweets#but there's several adults living here who don't care that they make. more mess then a four year old#and could definitely start doin their own laundry#or take the trash out if it's full instead of cramming more into it so that the bag splits and is to heavy for me to lift#and I'm actually kinda strong like I've def lost a lot of energy n strength this year tbh but this bitch can lift pretty heavy boxes at work#and i split logs pretty regularly so im not the strongest gal by no means like of lord i had to carry my mother around everywhere#because she was a stubborn asshole who refused to use any mobility aids and then wanted to go shopping or go out and i had to just carry her#like i can carry an adult women but fuck if it didn't hurt me bad doin it and i had to stop several times to catch my breath#like I'm not super Strong but I'm not weak the trashbag cant weigh more then an adult#it takesn nothing to rinse a bowl out so your food don't turn into cement#or throw away the wrappers of your bandaids instead of tossing them on the floor#or wipe your shoes before you come in and track big chunks of dried mud and grass all over the home#my parents wanted 12 kids wnd our house to look like a magazine and they beat that mentality of the house must be clean as a whistle#because what if Jesus was to stop by we must have our home look so clean that we would be unashamed if jesus stopped#so clean we encourage him to look in cupboards and under the bed clean#i dont think that's a Bible verse but there was a biblical book that was all about having a home that was so clean constantly#just so you wouldn't be ashamed when Christ cand because cleanliness is closer to godliness#i really hate my mother like so much I'm glad i can finally say it I'm glad i don't have to work to earn her love or buy it#you shouldn't have to have to earn love especially from your parents I'm glad she can't constantly condemn me#i have nightmares about my mom condemning me or being smug n proud and ruining my life in the name of her cult#like throwing away all of my belongings and only having a bed a Bible some christan fiction four floor length Jean dresses baggy tshirts#also her giving my sister she favored a bunch of my organs since I'm broken anyhow and slowly dieing because i don't have a liver anymore#or her ruining my relationship and friendships because she didn't think they were godly enough so i have no one in my life except church#she tried to have an arranged marriage for me not a dream that happened#i know she loved me i hate that i think so low of her but her love felt like hate most of the time#i know she loved me though andni love her to I'm just glad i don't have to constantly hve to perform for her#i have so much garbage in my brain
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Making a list of the books I read this year, and the Range of shit is so funny bc on one hand I’m like ‘hmm idk if I’ll count the Animorphs, they’re only like a hundred pages each and I just read them for a bit of fun’ (as if I don’t read books in general, for a bit of fun) and then also I’m like ‘wow idk if I can put Worm on the list since it’s kind of its own thing and also unfathomably long’
#also not definitely counting graphic novels#the reason I’m counting at all is I wanted to see how much I cld read if I properly got back into it#past couple years I would just reread stuff a lot bc books r expensive and I got thru most everything interesting at my library#anyway then in surgery recovery I read loads and that was in December so it was a perfect time to start counting in the new year#I go to a library that’s bigger and further now#and get cheap second hand books#and also just buy lots new when I can! bc it’s worth it to me tbh and new fiction is so exciting rn#misc
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low key wish I was into the current ex-yu music scene simply to go haunting for the CDs
#j. talks#but like do they even make albums anymore? and who are they? who is this scene#anyway if there are any cool new book releases by ex-yu authors of any kind let me know 💌#because we are going to Bosnia next week :)))#I mean if you have any good albums you can let me know too lol always#I am also definitely buying all the sweets. I'm open to any recs there too although I already have my plans for food that I am taking back#to Germany with me 😇 kinda glad we are going by car this time because oh I am planning on bags of food. sweets and sweets and spices and#ajvar and whatever else my baba will put into any bags she can find
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