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vexelier-suix-cipher · 3 years

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"Could you do Teruteru, Hifumi, and Ryoma getting drugged by a love potion and falls (even harder) for the reader (who has already fallen for them)?"

100% I can!! :D

Warnings: Mentions of love drug/potion, slight obsession(?), and swearing.

===

Hifumi Yamada

•Proceeds to rant about how amazing Hifumi is

•Fanfic boy loves you very much!! (Though he did his best to hide it)

•It felt like when a cat loved it owner. Celeste went out the window. This man would get on his hands and knees for you. 🙇🏽‍♂️

•You also loved him very much!! (Literally Taka had to keep Mondo from lunging at you two and screaming "JUST DATE ALREADY!!")

•Oh but what's this? A drink on his desk after a hard day of drawing and writing manga?

•Well of course he drank it!! He chugged that drink and felt quite satisfied after.

•And back to work he goes :›

•He had some music on and his script for his next manga, scribbling out the sketches for his newest manga when he felt the sudden urge to go see you.

•It was nothing too new. Could've been he just wanted to show you the script for his manga!! A beta read!

•So Hifumi happily found you and sat you down, showing you the script for his manga!

•He felt a bit- different.

•He felt like he needed to have you in his arms.

•He needed you closer.

•He needed- you.

•The even more clingy behavior continued for a few days.

•Though you didn't mind, you did find it a bit strange.

•Why was he so clingy?

•You already read this script-

•And read that one too-

•Didnt he have things to do?

•He was going to fall behind in his schedule if he continued like this!!

•So when you saw him walking over to you once again, you pulled him to the side and questioned him.

"Hifumi, you've been acting kinda strange these past few days. Are you okay? Don't get me wrong, I love having you by my side but you're going to fall behind in your schedule."

"Well...I don't really know how to explain it. I feel like I've got to be with you all the time!! A-And I'm getting work done!!"

•He huffed and whined for a while longer as you continued asking him things before he got frustrated with himself and finally blurted it out

"Fine!! Fine. I like you, okay? I have for a while a-and I just didn't know how to tell you-...I found this drink on my desk one day and now that I think about it, it could've been one of those love potions that I've been hearing about...could've made my feelings stronger.."

•He started muttering towards the end but you could understand the gist of it.

•You reassured him it was fine and that you accepted his feelings.

•Which was returned with a loud,

"HUH?!? YOU DO?! WHEN- HOW-"

•*Once again has to calm fanfic boy down*

•After calming him down (again) you went over your own feelings.

•He had the brightest smile on his face I swear

•He just couldn't hold back!

•So he picked you up and held you close, hugging you sweetly

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!"

===

Teruteru Hanamura

•AGGRESSIVELY RANTS ABOUT HOW AMAZING HE IS

•Love Potion exists?

•He probably bought it.

•This boy is already so head over heels for you it's absolutely adorable.

•He 100% cooks for you.

•Breakfast? In bed.

•Lunch? Made your favorite food.

•Dinner? You can eat with him! :D

•And his food is just 😩 to die for

•He does his best to tone down the sexual comments a bit, though he can't help if one or two slip out!

•Compliments you every 5 minutes no lie.

•Though he does turn cherry red if you compliment him

•If you allow petnames, he WILL call you darlin' and sugar the most.

•Now for the fun part

•He was most likey cooking and was working with the oven.

•Ovens hot. His clothes are pretty hot.

•So he stripped got something to drink out the fridge

•He blindly took a glass out the fridge and drank it.

•Drank the damn love potion-

•He knew he accidentally drank it. He read the label he had put on the glass right after he drank it.

•Unlike Hifumi, he tried staying away from you

•Poor boy doesn't know how to show such strong feelings :(

•He still does cook for you though

•And leaves you little snacks

•Did yelp when you came into the kitchen once without him knowing (it's true I was the dust on the oven window)

•Alot more fiddly and nervous when he has to go ask you something

•His gaze is towards the floor and he's playing with the ends of his scarf as that adorable accent decorates his speech

•Hes so nervous oh poor baby

•You found him scurrying everywhere once trying to find his hat when you had to point out it was on his head-

•He was so embarrassed-

•He apologized and walked back towards the kitchen

•He cooks his feelings away

•That is alot of food-

•Once he disappeared into the kitchen you went after him

•You had been wondering why he ran away from you every time you saw him

•You were worried :(

•As he went back into the kitchen, he paused hearing someone else's footsteps.

•He turned around and jumped slightly when he saw you

•Begin the anxious southern rambling and questions.

"O-Oh! S/o! What brings you to the...the kitchen??"

"Teru, what's going on? You keep ignoring me."

"W-Well I don' mean to cher' I-Its just I' been kinda stressed lately a-an' I don' wanna bother you with tha'-"

•Oh sweet boy almost cried just talking to you

•He wanted to confess so badly!!

•He just wanted to hug you and bury his face into your neck!!

•But he was so scared :(

•After a good talk, the confession just slipped out of him mid-sentence

"I already apologized cher'..."

"C'mon Teru, what's been REALLY happening with you?"

"W-Well...the truth is I accidentally drank a love potion and since I love you so damn much it strengthened my feelings...I-I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable so I stayed away in case I-"

"Did you just say you love me?"

"I-I did..?"

•Oh certainly he did. And when he realized, he apologized 10x more.

•You had to shut him up by squishing his face

•After a good explanation about you loving him too, he clung onto you with a laugh.

•He sat in your lap (and after some consent) kissed your face all over, muttering a soft 'I love you' after each kiss

•You two sat together like that for quite a bit, just laying in each other's presence

"Thank you so much....you don't know how much that means to me...how much YOU mean to me..."

===

Ryoma Hoshi

•Ah yes. Tiny, edgy, ex-tennis, cat loving, deep voiced boy

•Where do I start?

•Lets start with

•He's absolute shit at feelings.

•Like really.

•He refused to believe he fell for you.

•His heart was racing? No it wasn't. It's probably because he was out of breath.

•He's flustered and blushing? Kinda hot in the room y'know.

•You get the point.

•He hates the fact he fell for you. He doesn't know what to do.

•He lost almost everyone he ever loved before. Why would this be any different? He didn't want to put you in danger.

•Ryoma hanged around with you though. He was a bit quiet but he went basically everywhere you went

•No one really messed with you when little man was with you.

•This was okay. He could hide his feelings. You wouldn't be in danger and he wouldn't ruin his relationship with you.

•Then the world announced a love potion was now available!!

•Ah shit.

•That damn Kokichi.

•All he wanted was some water and that little panta-loving gremlin switched it out with the new potion.

•He had already chugged around half the bottle before he realized it wasn't his juice.

•Ryoma would've just left it at 'Oh I just poured the wrong drink in' if it wasn't for Kokichi coming up to him about an hour later.

"Nishishishi....how's the love potion working Ryoma?"

"The what."

"Oops~"

"You little-"

•Kokichi went to the nurse with a bump on his head from Ryoma hitting him with a tennis ball.

•You thought Teruteru hiding away was bad?

•Ryoma refused to leave his dorm.

•He came out at around lunch time to get food, go to the bathroom, and then back to his dorm.

•No one was allowed in.

•He could feel the effects of the potion working.

•He wanted to get out and cling to you so badly. It almost physically hurt

•Fucking hell-

•Him. Ryoma Hoshi. The guy who basically gave up on life, wanted to run into your arms like a little kid.

•He almost cried.

•Of course you were worried!! He locked himself in his dorm without warning!!

•And he refused to talk to you!!

•You came to his dorm door almost daily, trying to pry open the damn door.

•With no avail.

•Goddammit.

•It wasn't until a few weeks later which he made a plan.

•He'd confess and leave right after.

•If you said no, that would be the end of it.

•If you said yes, ...well he didn't really plan that far.

•Ryoma met up with you at the back of the building, looking down at the ground as he heard your footsteps.

•It took a minute of small talk before he started speaking

"Listen, Kokichi switched my drink out a few weeks ago for that new love potion they're selling. I already had really strong feelings for you but with the potion they increased. I know you probably don't feel the same way but I wanted to tell you because it was starting to get too out of hand for me."

•He rambled on a little about how you would never like him and that he apologized for having such feelings and-

•You yanked his beanie down to his face, letting out a small huff.

"Ryoma Hoshi you have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to confess. You're an amazing guy Ryoma, and I really do wish you confessed sooner since I feel the same way. Now shut it with all the sad shit and come here."

•You told him, tugging him closer by the sleeve as you engulfed him in your arms

•Ryoma felt like his face was on fire. Butterflies in his stomach and a giddy, tingly feeling throughout his body

•He let out a low chuckle, hugging you back and sighing softly

•This was nice. He felt....loved.

•He liked this feeling quite a bit....he had missed this feeling quite a bit.

"Maybe I should've confessed sooner."

===

AHHHHHHHH I HOPE YOU LIKED IT-

I absolutely adore these three.

If you want me to add or fix anything just say the word!!

I had a great time writing this!!

Thanks for requesting!!!

-Vex ∆

#ryoma hoshi x reader #ryoma hoshi #hifumi yamada #hifumi yamada x reader #teruteru hanamura #teruteru hanamura x reader #danganronpa #dr2 #goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #thank you for requesting!#-Vex ∆

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sleepynobie · 3 years

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(A/N: A short floof with the edgy boi >:3. Enjoy!)

"I love you"

These three words aren't hard to pronounce and yet Xiao just can't say them. It baffles him how three words can make him feel uncomfortable because when he thought of saying it to you, he starts to feel embarrassed that it holds him back.

But apparently not you.

You say it every day like you're breathing. Not that it bothers him since it makes him feel warm and he's not the one who says it. Nonetheless, how can you say it so casually to him without a hint of embarrassment? He thought he knows enough about humans by being with you but it seems like there's more to learn.

"Eating almond tofu I see"

Xiao shifts his attention from the almond tofu to you who waves at him before sitting next to him.

"Do you want some?"

"I'm good, thanks" You smile "I just need to rest a bit before going down again to serve the food"

He looks slightly concerned at you since it seems that today's quite busy that he often sees you go up and down to get the food "How many guests are left?"

"Umm around 3 more. But then, you know new customers are going to come anyway" You say before smirking at him while resting your cheek on your palm as you place your elbow on the table "Why? Did you miss me?"

A slight blush quickly appears on Xiao's face before he quickly denies it "I'm not. I'm just wondering"

"Sure sure" You snicker which makes him glare at you "Don't worry, I'm used to doing this so-"

Suddenly, you heard Chef Smiley calls for you to bring the food to the guests which makes you quickly get up "Oh, I gotta go. I'll see you when I see you"

"Alright" He merely replies and you're about to leave him until suddenly you turn around as you form a heart with your arms again and smile.

"Xiao, I love you!"

It's those three words again (and what's with the heart shape?) that makes him blush more than before. Seriously, if he's a human, his heart might have a problem because it skips a beat every time you say those three words. Yet at the same time, he loves it every time he hears it from you because it reassures and comforts him.

~~~

Finally, the last guests leave after finishing their dinner which means your shift is over. You quickly clear up the table as you bring the plates and go to the elevator to wash them. After that, you officially finish your work for the day and bid farewell to Chef Smiley and Verr Goldet before you leave to meet Xiao on the highest balcony.

"Guess who's back!" You shout which makes Xiao turn around before you run towards him to give a hug.

"Do you really need to say it loudly?" Xiao retorts while welcoming you into his arms.

You snuggle onto him, taking in his warmth and feeling comforted at his hug. You then pull away and feel energised as you smile at him.

"Well, I can't help it! Even though I'm tired but once I see you, it's all gone as if it never happens. As expected of my boyfriend who gives the best hug"

This makes him blush slightly at your compliment/flirt but also amazed at how there's no hint of embarrassment when you said it.

"You're really an odd one, (Name)"

"Uhh.. Thank you...?" You smile but also look unsure with the sudden comment since odd isn't exactly a compliment or insult.

"I mean how can you be so upfront with your feelings? Especially the one that you always say every day"

"You mean 'I love you'?" You ask which he nods shyly in response.

"Well, this might sound ridiculous to you but I was inspired by an old couple that used to stay here "You reply before giggling sheepishly.

"A customer?"

You nod and begin to recall the memories when you met with the old couple "I remember that every time they spend time together just enjoying the view from the balcony, one of them would casually say it to another. It caught me off guard at first but then it eventually turned into awe, envy for the romantic and cute relationship, and curiosity on what makes them like to say it so often. I mean, I never meet a couple who say I love you to each other everyday, or even say I love you"

"It is rather embarrassing" Xiao comments "Actions are easier to do than saying that"

"And you used to be so awkward on trying to kiss me" You grin mischievously which makes him blush furiously in embarrassment before retorting.

"Sh-Shut up! Did you really need to bring up about that?"

"I'm just saying, Xiao" You giggle before calming down to continue "Anyway, I decided to ask them one day what makes them want to say I love you so often. Then, this is what they said: it's because we will never know when we die"

Xiao looks slightly taken aback at the unexpected answer while you continue "Well, they also said that they like saying it to each other too but the reason is mainly because they're getting old so they want to make sure on the day they have to leave, at least they've said to the other about how they love them. Then hopefully, the three words that they always hear can be a comfort whenever they feel alone or sad. So that's why I was inspired to do the same because you know... I can't live as long as you"

You smile sheepishly and start to look melancholic knowing that one day, you won't be able to be by his side anymore which always make you feel guilty about it. But instead of stressing about it, isn't that why you try to stay healthy and safe as long as you can so you can spend a lot of time with him?

You slap both of cheeks to snap out of the sadness and try to lighten up the mood with a tease "Besides, it's cute to see how your face is always redden whenever I say it so it motivates me even more to keep saying it-"

Suddenly, Xiao pulls you into a tight hug as if he doesn't want you to be gone and stays here with him. You look slightly surprised for a moment but then you understand why he suddenly does it before you apologise to him and hugs him back "I'm sorry, I don't mean to remind you about it. But hey, I'm here right now alright? I'll be here tomorrow, the next days, weeks, and years until the time comes. So, let's not think about it much and just enjoy the time we spend together while we can-"

"I love you"

You halt for a moment, looking surprised and disbelief at what you just heard because you never heard him saying it to you even once. You can feel your face suddenly heats up but at the same time, you want to hear it again.

"Did you say something, Xiao?"

"I-I said I... I love you" You can sense that Xiao is embarrassed of saying it which makes you feel guilty but this is a rare moment so you want to hear it from him again.

"What was that? I didn't catch what you were saying" You say and look forward to hear it from him again but then he pulls away to look at you with a slight irked expression.

"You're messing with him, aren't you?"

"I just want to hear it again since this is the first time you said it to me" You grin sheepishly "But now that I see your face, why don't you say it while looking at me?"

Immediately, Xiao blushes furiously because he can't imagine saying it while having an eye contact with you. That's just too embarrassing which is why he did it while hugging you in the first place so he doesn't have to see you.

But he remembers the reason why you always say 'I love you' and how much it means to you. Plus, you look at him so expectantly which makes it hard for him to resist.

"Ugh fine..." He takes a deep breath and looks at you which he starts to feel the embarrassment. But he tries to keep it together before finally saying it after a while.

"I love you, (Name)"

You smile happily upon hearing it before saying it back to him.

"I love you too, Xiao"

~~Bonus~~

"Now that I hear you saying 'I love you', how about trying this for me?" You ask excitedly and form a heart with your arms.

"No way" Xiao refuses and looks at you with a disapproval look. Saying 'I love you' is already tough and there's no way he's going to do that.

"But.. it's also another way of saying 'I love you'" You look sad before showing puppy eyes to him.

"Don't give me that look" He sighs before suddenly leaning towards you to kiss your forehead and changing the subject "By the way, it's starting to get cold so we should go to your room"

"And get ourselves heated up hmm?" You smirk in attempt to tease him which makes him blush.

"Well.. I mean we can cuddle I guess.."

"Ahh.." You sweatdrop "Yeah that works too"

"Too?" Xiao looks confused "Did you have something else in mind-"

"Nothing, let's head inside" You interject and grab his wrist before the two of you going to your room, to cuddle of course.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fanfic #xiao #xiao genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #xiao x reader

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skamamoroma · 5 years

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Episode 5 (Part 1 of 2): Wtfock S3

So, the episode that changes everything! (Beware, this is LONG)

Robbe is so lost. He is actively making choices but is making the wrong ones for all of the worst reasons. He has fallen out with his friends, he’s shouted at Milan and distanced himself from Zoe, he has upset Noor and cheated on her and has hurt Sander purposefully in the worst way possible, in turn, breaking his own heart. The fact that he starts the episode off by saying that he can’t see his mamma is so telling. He can’t face her. He always makes time for her and being alone (even the music keeps saying he’s ALONE ALONE ALONE) it is always when he thinks of her and this is no exception… it’s just that he isn’t in the right headspace and I get this overwhelming feeling that he feels like he has tainted himself. He doesn’t like hurting Noor, he has done stuff with Sander that he is convinced is wrong (even if it felt the complete opposite) and his internal oppression is so overwhelming, it’s like he’s even denying himself his mamma who he loves and always WANTS to see.

I love the fact that he reaches out to Jens regardless of the advice he gets because… I mean, lets face it, it’s terrible. Jens can’t be blamed. He doesn’t have a clue what’s happening, he just tries to offer some well meant guidance and in many ways it’s very very sweet and gentle advice. He isn’t full of bravado and I kind of love him in this moment. He’s a young guy telling his mate that sex isn’t that big of a deal, he doesn’t need to worry or pressure himself… that’s SWEET and what everyone should hear. Sex doesnt have to happen at all if you don’t want it to. The fact that he’s so kind to Robbe is really lovely of him. He’s a GOOD friend in this moment. He just doesn’t know what Robbe needs or why he’s so upset so the advice is awful in the circumstances but regardless, he was so genuine to Robbe and I want to SQUISH him for being so decent and lovely….

But I can’t help but want to crawl under a blanket when that clip segues into Noor and Robbe. Now this scene was met with pure OUTRAGE when it aired and I can’t help but laugh. The fact that Life on Mars is playing is so TELLING in so many ways. I made a post about it at the time but the lyrics and metaphorical meaning to that song fit the moment brilliantly:

The girl in the song is lonely and uses cinema and the “silver screen” to escape. She seeks the escapism of the world of movies to avoid her real life which is unsatisfying to her.

“But the film is a saddening bore, for she’s lived it ten times or more” - it doesn’t live up. She’s left feeling underwhelmed and unsatisfied because the problem lies in the fact that her wish for escapism fails. It doesn’t do what she hoped it would.

Then the song asks “is there life on mars?” - aka, to me, is there possibility elsewhere? The song suggests that focus be placed on all of the wonder and fantastical stuff that the escape world provides…. But the fundamental is, you can’t escape your real life and your truth, no matter how hard you try.

AND DOESN’T THAT JUST PERFECTLY SUM UP THIS MOMENT.

Also, Sander has game. We know this. It may be weird and unconventional and he may seem, currently, like the world’s biggest Manic Pixie Dream Boy but his love of Bowie is cool and edgy to Robbe… so if he’s going to try to “woo” Noor and make it all romantic then he’s going to try to channel that but I think the overwhelming reason that song is playing is because Sander is STILL ON HIS MIND. He’s unable to remove Sander from his life. He chose that song and absolutely thought of Sander when he did it… which means he can’t stop thinking of him and also kind of includes Sander in this moment. His presence is felt, reminding us that Robbe felt so comfy and lovely and at ease with Sander and, well, here, it’s really very uncomfortable and upsetting.

It’s like Robbe is trying to mimic Sander’s ability to turn moments into something dream like.

The moment itself is so heartbreaking. Robbe is trying to hard. It’s all candles and low light and covering Noor’s eyes. It’s text book romantic. It’s staged and planned and the “i’m trying” is written all over it… which contrasts BEAUTIFULLY to when Sander and Robbe find themselves in the same room with the same low light and it’s all instinct and casual joy and intuition… nothing staged about it. I LOVE that they had made that contrast even if we don’t know it yet in episode 5! The contrasts and parallels are ALL OVER this season and I’m a total sucker for it.

It is shot beautifully. Each moment is chosen so specifically because this is kind of the height of Robbe’s pretending… he comes down the other side after this. This moment is HUGE and they really sell it as such. It’s also meaningful to me that they kept it in, not only as a parallel to how all of this stuff SHOULD be when Robbe experiences it with Sander but also to perhaps show someone who may feel like Robbe does that you truly don’t have to do this to yourself. If you WANT to try and experiment then, no problem, as long as you’re safe and kind about it… but this isn’t what Robbe is doing. He KNOWS. He’s felt nothing so far and they’ve done a LOT. He’s forcing himself. Which is why the way he holds Noor tightly at the start KILLS me because the camera focuses in on it and, to me, it feels like it’s purposeful to show how much Robbe is trying trying trying…. The EFFORT. It truly shouldn’t be that way.

The music going wonky and hazy as Robbe moves down her body makes me want to cry… it all does but THE PARALLELS. I know I’m jumping to future episodes but the fact that Robbe does the exact same thing with Sander but enjoys it and loses himself in a VERY different way is just hugely meaningful and YES Wtfock …. I LOVE this shit hahaha. Robbe looks like he’s going to pass out. It’s not meant to be sexy or comfortable viewing. The music makes it a little haunting. Noor is beautiful and fun and rebellious and is, in many ways, a lot of the things Sander is… but she isn’t Sander. She is wrong for Robbe and that idea of ‘if I can’t make it work with her then who can i make it work with’ comes to mind… and Robbe knows who.

And god if the next clip doesn’t shatter your heart...Willem H is incredible in it from start to finish. The way it’s shot is, again, BEAUTIFUL and makes it all the more gut wrenching and raw.

The dream is definitely over. The sounds of the outside world are loud now and it’s all back to reality with a pretty sharp smack in the face. Robbe looks like he’s going to cry and it’s clear that they stopped because something just didn’t work. I LOVE that there’s hardly any dialogue. There doesn’t need to be, it’s written all over Robbe’s face and it’s the biggest moment of realisation for him… the absolute confirmation he needed but you can’t feel happy, it just all makes you feel so so sad.

The fact that when Noor asks if it’s her, Robbe replies “no, you’re amazing” ---- and isn’t that just the crux of it. She is and he does mean it. She’s being so gentle and supportive and understanding and she is someone he really likes as a person. I think that’s the thing that makes him so sure after this moment because he genuinely likes her… just as nothing more than a friend. I want to wrap him up and tell him it’s all going to be ok in this moment. He looks so broken and defeated but AHHH the way these clips are constructed it so so so good and it’s because they’re so good that the meaning behind all of this, the changes they made from the originall just work so well!

AND WE GO STRAIGHT INTO HEALING.

I love that this night feels like the lowest low in terms of lying to himself and he’s off the back of some really awful behaviour so there’s no other way to go but up and ENTER MILAN. Oh this clip is so lovely, so healing and GOOD GOD was I pleased that this wasn’t the full Pride clip. This was EXACTLY what Robbe needed at this moment. The Pride clip has a very important place but not yet, not when Robbe is THIS broken. It wouldn’t have worked. Thank you wtfock!

Milan is there with the casual relationship chat...always there to remind Robbe that he, as a gay man, has an active and happy dating life. HE’s there, offering his time (ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES hahaha) and being such a chill pillar of support. He’s also INSISTENT which is exactly what Robbe needs. He sometimes need stuff dragging out of him and he’s so deep in his hole… Milan gently, gradually helps him climb out.

The really cool way Milan asks if Robbe feels the same as this guy who likes him… it is so lacking in any drama or parade and is simply a question. Milan makes it SO EASY for Robbe in that moment and he’s a total star. I love him so much for the fifteen minutes he gives!!!!!! That little giddy smile he gives Robbe when he realises that Robbe might have feelings for a guy is just precious! He’s so FOND of Robbe. He’s thrilled that Robbe feels able to try to be open. I love that little moment he leans forward and encourages Robbe. He’s on his level, not pressurising but is solid in his offering of support and advice. You can SEE how Milan is a little emotional when he’s saying what he would have said to his younger self… and Robbe still has that look on his face that says he can’t be what Milan is saying he might be because, well, that stuff is WRONG or BAD, right? He’s not like Milan, he’s not like the guys on Grindr, he’s not like the guy at the dance show, he’s not those words his friends have used…. It’s SO IMPORTANT. I love that they included this because it shows the level of homophobia and the casual way it has been presented to him that he sees being anything other than straight as something WRONG for him to be but also something SPECIFIC. He doesn’t see the multitudes of humanity in it all, he just knows that words like ‘disorder’ have been used and that if you’re gay then people call you names or you have to be always wanting to hook up for sex at night… he can’t see a place for himself in all of this confusion. It’s painful but SO VERY spot on as an experience for many an LGBT+ person. Milan looks a little exhausted by Robbe’s refusal to allow himself to chill out with his feelings and seems a little sad that Robbe is still fighting it but the words he uses next change EVERYTHING. I don’t think he even knows how much they changed Robbe’s life.

They’re important words. Robbe IS normal and if he doesn’t start to be honest with himself then he will hurt everyone around him, he’ll lose himself and the people around him… and little does Milan know how deep Robbe is in that hole already… ONLY FOR THE GOD DAMN SONG TO SING “here stands a man at the bottom of a hole” at me and I’m all giddy with the wonder of the soundtrack’s ability to heighten a moment. It’s all haunting and brilliant!

We’re back with Jens and it’s like a little check in with him after his advice. For the first time Robbe is being HONEST. Not completely but he’s still being as honest as he can be in saying there’s someone else and that they won’t go away even if he’s tried… and then that word - HER. I love that moment. Willem H kills it. His face changes instantly. He’s reminded that this moment is bigger than he expected, that he’s not ready yet. I’m still proud of him though because we, as an audience, realise that Robbe has taken some of what Milan said to heart and he’s allowing himself to ACCEPT his feelings.

The fact that we go immediately into the break up scene is perfect… and look, I can’t help but find so much of this scene funny. It’s heartbreaking but it’s also a little like a parody. Regardless, Robbe is the only Isak to do this and I was so proud of him, so pleased he really took control of his life. As I mentioned back in episode 3 - he has stopped letting people boss him around and dictate to him. He’s trying hard to do the right thing and we KNOW he doesn’t like to hurt people. I have a TON of respect for my guy for doing this… and a whole load of love in my heart for his adorable nervous self tearing napkins apart as Noor arrives. ENDEARING AS HECK.

Let’s address the elephant in the room - OLD TOWN ROAD. Hahahaha. People found it so funny (me included) but it also kind of WORKS because isn’t the whole song about leaving stuff behind, leaving behind an old life. YES THE LYRICS ARE RIDICULOUS with all the boobies and sports bras of it all but it also kinda works!!!! Still makes me smile though. (also, I’d kill to know Wtfock’s music budget for this season because OH BOY)

Robbe, bless him, does the typical dick-ish thing and takes someone to a very public place to break up with them. DUDE. Hahahaha. I adore him but no, boy, no. Poor Noor, man. Honestly. Robbe is doing all of the right things, he’s trying to be honest, to stop anyone else getting hurt but it’s messy and imperfect. Regardless, that moment he lets Noor hold his hand to say goodbye is so beautifully kind. He has just broken her heart but he tries to be gentle.

BUT GUYS. The parody feeling comes from Robbe just saying to Noor he needs to be by himself and then we enter the next day and Robbe is stalking Sander at school. Hahahahahahahaha. Makes me laugh so much. Oh god, we know why he said what he did. He couldn’t say the real reason but it makes for hilarious viewing and makes me feel so endeared towards Robbe because he really IS taking Milan’s words seriously. He’s trying, in every part of his life, to be better and to stop causing pain and to be kinder and more authentic with himself. It’s a lovely process of change and growth!

BUT THESE NEXT TWO SCENES! I LOVE the first one. I love how Robbe is, once again, taking some control of his life. I can’t help but find the whole process of Robbe seeking Sander out so sweet, culminating in him seeing Sander in his ELEMENT. Robbe smiles INSTANTLY when he sees him. Actually no, he BEAMS. His whole face lights up! I love so much that he gets to see Sander like this, to appreciate Sander’s art and creativity and to see Sander’s passions in real life, to see him surrounded by something that makes him who he is. It’s a really beautiful moment and you definitely feel like Robbe really has allowed himself to realise he LIKES Sander - a whole lot. He practically swoons when he sees him. I love that we see that Robbe sees the heart of Sander and really truly likes what he sees. He’s not pretending anymore.

Then we get that ADORABLE little moment of Robbe in the toilets. I’m so happy they included it. It’s so full of nerves and sweetness - we’ve never seen him like that before. This MEANS something to him. Seeing Sander again makes him FEEL something and he wants it to go well so badly. He is so visibly excited! It makes me wonder if he’s ever felt this before or ALLOWED himself to. I don’t think he has. It feels like the first time.

Robbe is so swept up with trying and learning and reaching out that I think he truly didn’t think it could go wrong. Sander looks so hurt and his face is devastating to see but I’m also proud of Sander for at least that moment of self preservation. Robbe looks like he’s going to cry. That giddiness disappears instantly and he’s met with the crushing realisation that the warnings Milan gave may have become a reality and it’s his own fault.

Then we get one of my favourite clips of the whole season.The opening song - “take me back to my younger days, I was happy with the simple things” - with Robbe looking wistfully at the sweet kids and their mamma. Both a longing for simpler times and also for his own mamma who he loves and no doubt wishes was around more so he had someone to just give him a cuddle. He’s navigating all of this stuff himself and it’s all so MUCH to handle.

But Sander appears and oh man, he couldn’t stay mad for too long. He offers that 5 minutes and I feel so fond of him because of it. Like i said in episode 4, I genuinely feel like Sander understands Robbe’s heart. He knows he’s a sweet, lovely guy. Yes, he was hurt and yes, he deserves an apology but the idea of Chernobyl in his head and hurting people because of it is nothing new to Sander… I feel like that’s a part of the reason he accepts Robbe’s apology so quickly and also, well, he feels that he’s in love with him and that Robbe is the one. SO… that 5 minutes was inevitable!

The whole moment between them with Robbe trying to hard to verbalise his feelings and failing and opting for his VERY CUTE head explosion is so damn SWEET… no wonder Sander’s face changes a little, softens and you can see the edges of a smile. Robbe’s telling him that their kiss was monumental for him, he didn’t for one second think Sander was inappropriate… and Sander just sees the truth in him.

That moment that Sander walks towards Robbe is so filled with surety and confidence. He doesn’t falter for a second and that CHALLENGE he gives Robbe is perfection. It’s like he’s daring Robbe to back away but he doesn’t move a muscle. Sander denies him a kiss and asks the important question using their little metaphor - “what about now, how do you feel now?” and Robbe’s “fuck Chernobyl” is the biggest “FUCK EVERYTHING ELSE, I want you”. It’s huge and important for him to say that and to be willing to accept that he’s putting all of that confusion and panic and hatred for himself aside and trying to say FUCK IT because he wants Sander. It’s quite an admission and no wonder Sander kisses him!

That first little kiss is just so great. Robbe looks so comfortable and swoony that Sander has accepted his apology and that they’re doing what he really genuinely wants them to be doing. He has Sander back and close and Sander’s kissing him and he’s trying to say FUCK IT to all of the nonsense… it’s such a healing celebratory little moment and it is also the BIRTH OF THE BABY KOALA.

Talk about Robbe feeling at ease. I think in this moment he 100% embodies the FUCK IT principle! He allows himself to behave and react as he FEELS rather than forcing himself and it’s beautiful. He’s so affectionate and clingy and it’s the first time we realise how Robbe shows his love - through touch! We haven’t been able to witness it yet and the difference in the way Robbe behaves here compared to the way he has behaved for the past 4 episodes is SO OBVIOUS.

I love the fact that when Robbe kisses back properly and leans up to wrap his arms around Sander’s neck, he gets so close that there’s ZERO space between them at all, even their faces. You FEEL how Robbe adores Sander, how much he feels and he tries to show it. Their chemistry in this moment is off the charts. Robbe touches Sander with such tenderness, holds his face so gently, kisses so softly… it’s all just very LOVELY and we get a first introduction to the truth of who Robbe is! I feel like he’s so open and on show here and he’s LOVELY. I also feel like the kiss is 50% apology too. He kisses with purpose like he’s pouring meaning into it and the fact that Sander smiles into it and almost stumbles backwards just sums it up!!

Britt interrupting is standard, we expect it because she’s one of the final obstacles to deal with. It’s here that we are introduced to SANDER DRIESEN: KING OF ROMANTIC ONE-LINERS. He means it too. He wants that future. I believed him at the time and I’m so happy I did because if you believe these words then you believe that he means the rest...

I LOVE that little moment when Sander pretty much whines into the kiss that he has to leave and Robbe holds onto him, looks pained to let go and their kisses carry on but becaome gradually lighter and less desperate but still THERE. It’s adorable and CHEMISTRY IS INSANE.

I also love that Sander feels less dream-like now. We’re starting to see the cracks there, the real Sander. We’ve now seen him in his natural habitat, we’ve seen him hurt and angry and we’re now seeing him woozy after quite the kiss so he’s stumbling and smiling and swooning at the same time as he walks away. He’s so much more human and I like that Robbe’s realisation that he wants him and is rejecting all of the pretending has also come alongside seeing Sander as a little more than Mr Dreamworld, the kind of escapism. Robbe’s allowed something a little more real now and not only is he accepting he wants it but he’s also going after it and I was so happy for him and proud of the steps he took to make things better.

And I’m stopping here because this is HUGE and there’s still some really important clips in this huge ass episode so I’m splitting this up! For your sanity (you still with me?!) and also for the sake of it not turning out to be War and Peace because between the cuddle clip, Pride clip, date night and the end of this episode… I need more space to get into all that. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS EPISODE. WHIPLASH. Anyway, give yourself a medal if you’re still awake and thank you again for all of the very very sweet messages I’ve received recently!

#wtfock #wtfock episode thoughts #thoughts etc #rosander #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #THIS IS HUGE my god im sorry

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elusive---ivory · 5 years

Text

The Woman In Velvet pt 14

Oof, second to last chapter, boys. We all knew this was coming. A shoutout to @princessgeekface for being my editor through this process. You are wonderful 💕💕💕

PARING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNING: Violence

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Taglist (I love you all so so much 💕💕):

@jaylovesbats @memory-mortis @gloomyladyy @mijachula @princessgeekface @radio-hoo-ha @lolacolaempath

"I'm not sure my wife would like that. Maybe my next wife." Murray's voice boomed on the stage.

Roaring of laughter came from the audience.

"You should see our next guest coming up. I'm pretty sure this guy could use a doctor." Murray commented.

"Oh? Does he have sexual problems?" Dr. Sally asked.

"I think he's got a lot of problems. Let's show that clip one last time." Murray said.

Arthur's clip played.

The audience ate it up, listening to Arthur's laughter in the clip.

Sandy rolled her eyes, looking over at Arthur, who was staring intently at the curtains.

Sandy stood back from the curtains, carefully watching Arthur's movements. The tech guys next to Arthur looked uncomfortable, and tried shuffling away.

"You might've seen that clip of our next guest. Now, before he comes out, I just wanted to say that we're all heartbroken about what's going on in the city tonight, but this is how he wanted to come out. I honestly believe we could all use a good laugh. So, please welcome Joker."

As the jazz band started, the curtains fell back, revealing Arthur. Arthur came onstage, dancing and twirling around.

Sandy watched from backstage. She looked over by the curtain, seeing Arthur's still lit cigarette. Sandy picked it up, taking a small puff, before distinguishing it.

Arthur shook Murray's hand, then headed over to Dr. Sally, who was just expecting a hug. He cupped Dr. Sally cheeks and kissed her passionately.

Sandy rolled her eyes, crossing her arms backstage.

Whistles and ahhs came from the audience.

Dr. Sally had a very shocked look on her face, as she sat back down.

"That was quite the entrance." Murray commented.

Arthur looked around at the scenery of it all.

Murray looked at Arthur, raising a comedic eyebrow. "You ok?"

"Yeah, this is exactly how I imagined it." Arthur replied.

"Well, that makes one of us." Murray joked.

Laughter and applause came from the audience.

Sandy continued watching from a small television backstage.

"So, could you tell us about this look? You said when we spoke earlier that this wasn't a political statement." Murray said, pointing out his makeup.

"That's right, Murray. I'm not political. I'm just trying to make people laugh." Arthur looked over to the audience, not one of them chuckling.

Sandy cracked a smile backstage.

"And how's that going for you?" Murray commented, again.

The audience once again roared with laughter.

Sandy's cracked smile turned into an angry frown.

Arthur mocked the audience's laughter with his own demented cackle.

"Tell us about your lady friend backstage. She's also dressed as apart of your act. Do you two got a thing going on?" Murray asked.

Sandy paused. Her eyebrows furrowed at the TV. She crossed her arms

Arthur smirked. "It's a little more than 'a thing'. She's my sweetheart. My dear, Sandy."

Awws and oohs came from the audience.

Murray laughed. "Ha. I've heard that one before."

The audience howled with laughter.

Sandy glared hard at the television. She wasn't laughing one bit. All of Murray's jokes were stale and just blatantly mean to Arthur.

"So you tell us you're a comedian. Got any new material? Wanna tell us a joke?" Murray asked, not sounding too pleasant.

The audience applauded.

"Yeah? Okay." Arthur took out his joke book.

"He's gotta book full of jokes." Murray commented.

Arthur flipped a few pages into his notebook.

Arthur paused for a second.

"Take your time. You got all night." Murray laughed.

"Okay, okay. Here's one, knock knock." Arthur said.

"And you had to look that up." Murray commented.

The audience laughed.

Sandy couldn't take the stress. She bit her thumb. She wanted to bash Murray's skull in, see if he was still joking about that.

"I wanna get it right." Arthur's voice was somber.

Sandy couldn't look. She turned her head away from the television.

"Knock, knock." Arthur repeated.

"Who's there?" Murray replied.

"It's the police, ma'am. Your son's been hit by a drunk driver. He's dead." Arthur chuckled.

A loud groan came from the audience.

Sandy laughed at Arthur's edgy joke. Two of the tech guys stared strangely at her. She smiled, watching the television.

"No, no, no. We do not joke about that." Dr. Sally scolded.

"Yeah, that's not funny, Arthur." Murray said.

Arthur chuckled, looking down. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just been a rough few weeks. Ever since I..."

Arthur trailed off. His eyes wandered over the audience.

"Ever since I killed those three wallstreet guys." Arthur said, quietly.

Murray looked around at the audience. "Okay, I'm waiting for the the punchline."

"There is no punchline. It's not a joke." Arthur's voice was monotonous. His eyes swelled up with sadness.

A loud gasp washed over the audience.

Sandy closed her eyes, taking a deep sigh. She couldn't help, but feel remorse in this moment. Remorse for Arthur. The tech guys stared at the TV in shock.

Murray gave Arthur a disgusted glare. "You're serious, aren't you? You're telling us you killed those three young men on the subway?"

"Mmhmm." Arthur mumbled.

Murray raised his eyebrow. "And why should we believe you?"

Arthur smirked, shrugging. "Got nothing left to lose. Nothing can hurt me anymore."

Arthur paused for a moment, before chuckling. "My life is nothing but a comedy."

Loud booes came from the audience.

Sandy smirked.

Murray shook his head. "So let me get this straight. You think killing those guys is funny?"

Arthur smacked his lips. "I do, and I'm tired of pretending it's not. Comedy is subjective, Murray. Isn't that what they say? All of you, the system that knows so much. You decide what's right or wrong. The same way you what's funny or not."

More booes and groans came from the audience.

Murray stuttered. "I think I might understand that you did this to start a movement, to become a symbol."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Come on, MurRay. Do I look like the kind of clown that could start a movement? I killed those guys because they were awful. Everybody is awful these days. It's enough to make anyone crazy."

Murray leaned back in his chair. "So, that's it you're crazy? That's your defense for killing three young men."

Arthur smirked, widely. "No. They couldn't carry a tomb to save their lives."

Sandy laughed loudly from backstage. The two tech guys were glued to the screen, cautious of the lady in front of them.

Arthur smiled, hearing Sandy's laughter from backstage.

More booes and groans followed the audience.

Arthur dramatically rolled his eyes. "Oh, why are people so upset about these guys? If it was me dying on the sidewalk, you'd walk all over me. I PASS you every day, and you DON'T notice me. Oh, but these guys, because Thomas Wayne went and cried about them on TV."

Sandy could hear the pain and tension in his voice. Arthur was at his breaking point. Seeing him like this broke Sandy's heart. A black tear ran down her face. She cracked a smile, holding it all together.

Murray continued pushing his questions. "So, you've got a problem with Thomas Wayne?"

Arthur nodded his head, vigorously. "Yes, I do."

Arthur turned his head towards Murray.

"Have you seen what it's like out there, MurRay? Do you ever actually leave the studio? Everybody just yells and screams at each other. Nobody's civil ANYMORE! Nobody THINKS what it's like to be the other guy. You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think about what it's like to be someone like me. To be somebody, but themselves. They DON'T. They think we'll just sit there and take it like GOOD LITTLE BOYS and we won't WEREWOLF and go WILD."

Sandy's eyes widened, as she covered her mouth to silent her laughing sobs. She never seen this much pain coming from just one man. The techs seemed to get invested with Arthur's big speech.

Murray his head. "Are you finished? There's so much self pity, Arthur. It's almost like you're making excuses for killing those three men. What about your sweetheart, huh, Sandy? She's not awful, right? Not everyone, and I'll tell you this, not everyone is awful."

Arthur glared at Murray. "You're awful, Murray."

"Me? I'm awful? How am I awful?" Murray said, defensively.

Arthur's green ocean eyes glared menacingly at Murray. "Playing my video. Inviting me on the show. You just wanted to make fun of me. You're just like the rest of them."

Murray scoffed. "You don't know the first thing about me, pal. Look what happened because of what you did. What it led to. Two officers are in critical condition because of what you did."

Arthur started laughing with a gentle tear rolling down his face.

"And you're laughing. You're laughing. Someone was killed today because of what you did."

Arthur kept nodding and smiling. "I know. How about another joke, MurRay."

Murray shook his head. "No, I think we've had enough of your jokes."

"What do you get when you cross a mentally ill loner with a SOCIETY that ABANDONS him and treats him like TRASH? I'll tell you what you get. YOU GET WHAT YOU FUCKING DESERVE."

Arthur pulled out the gun, shooting Murray in the head.

The audience ran screaming in terror.

Arthur laughed to himself. Getting up, he shot Murray a second time in the chest

Sandy and the techs witnessed the horror firsthand. Sandy ran out onto the stage.

"Arthur." Sandy screamed.

Arthur walked up to the camera.

"Goodnight, and always remember. That's life."

Arthur was promptly tackled by security.

#joker arthur fleck #joker x reader #arthur fleck x reader #arthur fleck x oc #joker x oc #the woman in velvet

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slurpingsoba · 5 years

Text

Game Over

Relationship: Shigaraki x Spinner

Word Count: about 1.9k

Notes: What started out as me trying to connect back to my childhood gamer days quickly became more Spinaraki propaganda. I think I wrote this a month ago, but I never finished it, mainly because I thought it was trash. I still think it's trash, but I slapped an ending on it so hopefully, it sounds better than it did before!

Also, this picture is the setting of the story. Sometime after Kamino

“Shigaraki”

Spinner called out his leader’s name quietly, not wanting to startle him. Shigaraki was currently cowering near the far edge of his bedroom, his eyes a bit puffy and his body curled up; the disembodied hands he held were overflowing in his arms.

He looked like he was trying to make himself as small as possible, but that was something hard to achieve with his lanky figure. Even in his own chamber, he stuck out like a sore thumb.

Shigaraki grunted as a response, and he shifted his weight from his right foot to his left foot, to his right foot again. His jittery, uncomfortable energy was seconds away from spreading to Spinner, who picked at his scales.

“Shigaraki,” he called out again, a little louder this time. Shigaraki grimaced and dropped one of his hands to the floor.

Spinner cringed as well when the hand hit the ground. It was hard to watch Shigaraki with his face on display. You could see the intense anger and hopelessness oozing out of every expression he made. With saturated features, Shigaraki bent down to grab the hand on the floor but dropped the ones he was holding in the process. He fell to the floor along with his prized possessions.

“Stop sulking in the corner like a fucking loser and get over here, for fuck’s sake!” Spinner’s voice cracked a bit.

He caught a glimpse of Shigaraki’s eyes, and for a second, Spinner was scared for his life. Nobody else was in the room except for them, so Shigaraki could get away with murdering him if he wanted to. But Shigaraki was above killing his own allies, right? Right?!

Shigaraki, as lethargic and languid as he could be, got off the floor at a snail’s pace. He left the hands where they were. Spinner thought he heard some of Shigaraki’s bones crack as he inched himself up.

“Christ, it hurts to see you like this.”

“Then why don’t you leave? Everyone else did.”

Shigaraki’s tone made it seem as though everyone’s departure was a form of betrayal. He was aware that they had lives outside of the League, but he hoped that they would at least stay and comfort him in his time of need.

Spinner’s heart felt heavier, aching in his chest as he sympathized with Shigaraki. Honestly, Spinner didn’t have any place better to be, but in order to spare Shigaraki’s feelings, he fabricated a white lie.

“I didn’t think it would be a good idea to leave you when you’re… like this.” Spinner motioned to the pile of hands on the ground, and the mess of a man standing among them.

Spinner changed the subject. “I assume you play video games, right? With all the gaming terminology you use.”

“I do.”

“Okay, so let’s play one.” Spinner pivoted on his feet and made his way towards Shigaraki’s monitors. Part of him didn’t want to know what dark and bizarre things lurked on Shigaraki’s computer, but the other part was curious. He pressed the power button on one of the monitors to boot it up as Shigaraki slithered over like a shadow.

Spinner rubbed his eyes, unaccustomed to the brightness emitting from the computer screen. It was the only source of light in the room, and he wasn’t used to using electronics in such poor conditions.

Shigaraki, appreciating the juxtaposition between dark and light, stretched before taking a seat in front of the screens. After typing in his password, he clicked on an application on his desktop. One resembling a dirt block.

“Minecraft? Seriously?” Spinner was expecting Shigaraki to pick a horror game or at least something more on-brand. But Minecraft...

“Yeah? And what about it?” The only reason Shigaraki was playing it was because All For One bought it for him. He said the game would help him think creatively and collaborate with others in a controlled environment. Not like Shigaraki used the game constructively, anyway.

From the loading screen, Shigaraki clicked on multiplayer and went through his saved servers. After some contemplation, he selected Mineplex.

“Have you ever played?”

“Yeah, of course. You can’t call yourself a gamer unless you’ve played Minecraft.” Spinner spoke without an ounce of sarcasm in his voice.

“I hope you’re not serious about that.”

“And what if I a- oh shit, look at that Gamertag!” Spinner interrupted himself, crowding Shigaraki’s personal space in order to get a better look at the screen.

“‘I_Sucked_Stains_Nuts’? The Hero Killer’s groupies are fucking horny, aren’t they?”

“With a tongue as godlike as Stain’s, why wouldn’t they be?” Spinner licked his lips. With wide eyes, Shigaraki gave Spinner a judgemental look.

“You know he stabbed me.” Shigaraki navigated his way into a mini-game. Survival games, to be specific. He entered a lobby.

“You probably deserved it.”

An exasperated expression settled on Shigaraki’s face. With a huff, he took his hand off his mouse and folded his hands. Spinner took the opportunity to seize control of the game.

“‘HeroKillerLover <3’, ‘xx_DaddyStain_xx’... would you look at that?! Stain’s quite popular in the gaming community.”

“One Minecraft server does not equate to the entirety of the gaming community. Now, give me back my mouse.” Shigaraki right hand reached towards the mouse but got swatted away.

“You know what? Fuck it. You control the mouse and I’ll control the keyboard.”

“Sounds good to me. Queue up the chat log.” Spinner said, ogling over the game like he’s never played it before.

Oh, Shigaraki thought, a lightbulb going off in his head. Perhaps Spinner never played Minecraft before, and his earlier statement was just him trying to seem cool.

Shigaraki found this amusing, and for the first time in a while, he cracked a smile.

Meanwhile, Spinner read over the chat log, soaking in the nonsensical lingo that made the log incomprehensible to him. He was too old to understand the slang that tweens used. However, one thing on the log caught his attention.

A girl with rainbow hair and the Gamertag ‘Detroit_smash_me_69’ was crouching and un-crouching rapidly in the middle of the screen. She was typing in the chat.

“‘Yo, yo, Minus_U1tra_4, answer me. I like your skin,’” Spinner read out loud to himself. “What’s your Gamertag, Shigaraki?”

“Minus_U1tra_4.”

“Huh. I was expecting it to be ‘I_Hate_All_Might_’ or something.”

“That’s a bit too self-incriminating, don’t you think? My name is perfectly edgy.”

Spinner screwed up his face and raised an eyebrow. “Sure it is. Anyway, the rainbow-haired girl is trying to talk to you. She said she liked your skin.”

“I’m using the default skin.”

“Okay well still, reply back to her.” Spinner had a goofy grin on his face. He had a feeling this would be a funny encounter.

“Alright, if you say so.”

Hovering his fingers over the keys before typing, Shigaraki decided to type ‘i like urs to’ into the chat.

“That’s the wrong ‘to’. And you spelled ‘yours’ wrong.”

“I’m typing a message, not a fucking essay,” Shigaraki responded.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t use proper grammar.”

Shigaraki ignored him and read ‘Detroit_smash_me_69’s new reply. “‘Thx. Wanna smash?’”

“Whoaaa, wait a minute. Hold on a second.” Spinner backed away from the monitor in disbelief, pacing in the space behind Shigaraki’s computer setup.

“Dude, I think she’s just referencing her username. Calm down and get back over here.”

Spinner, after taking a few deep breaths, returned to his former position. “What are you gonna say now?”

Shigaraki typed into the chat window, chuckling to himself. Satisfied with his message, he pressed enter.

‘I’ll Detroit smash you any day darling.��, showed up in the chat log under Shigaraki’s Gamertag.

“You don’t realize how creepy that sounds-“

“Shush, I’m ~flirting.”

“She could be twelve.” Spinner attempted to reason with Shigaraki. It’s as if he’s never talked to a girl before, real or virtual.

“‘She’ might not even be a she. Besides, what twelve year old has a Gamertag like that?”

“You know this is public? Like, everyone in this waiting room can see this right now.”

“I don’t give a shit, I’m enjoying myself. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve been able to sit down and play a game like this.”

Shigaraki’s comment caught Spinner off guard, but it reminded him that Shigaraki has been a villain for most of his life. Spinner didn’t quite grasp the twistedness of Shigaraki’s relationship with his master until now, and Spinner felt sad knowing Shigaraki never got to experience a normal life.

“Well, I’m enjoying this as well. Even if you’re being a freak online.”

“I’m a freak offline too, you know.” Shigaraki turned around in his chair to look at Spinner. He was smirking and seemed to completely forget about the game he was playing.

“Oh?” Spinner wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but he would be deceiving himself if he said he didn’t want to find out. He and Spinner were kindred spirits, gamers starving for justice and murder, so he didn’t dismiss the prospects of growing closer to Shigaraki in a more than platonic way.

“Especially in bed.”

“Oh?” Maybe the Hero Killer fanatics on Minecraft weren’t the horniest people after all.

Shigaraki stood up and advanced towards Spinner. “To think I was moping around earlier, when I could have been doing this.”

Spinner had no choice except to walk backward. He continued until his legs hit the side of Shigaraki’s bed and he was forced to fall onto the worn comforter. With Spinner’s back pressed against the blanket, Shigaraki bent over him, trapping him between his arms.

“...doing me?” Spinner squeaked, his cheeks heating up. Spinner was an avid gamer, and therefore a virgin, so he didn’t know how to react to the predicament he was in. Sexual intimacy was new territory for him, but he wouldn’t mind exploring it with-

“Kurogiri said you guys can’t use the WiFi. With All For One gone, nobody’s here to pay for the internet anymore.” Dabi interrupted Spinner’s train of thought.

Dabi’s voice made chills run down Spinner’s spine. He left Shigaraki’s room about an hour ago, so Spinner was surprised he was back so soon. Why was he here? Why did he have to be such a cockblocker??

“Shit,” Shigaraki exclaimed, not moving from over Spinner.

“Why don’t you nerds try going outside for once? I heard the graphics out there are incredible!”

“Why don’t you try minding your own damn business for once? I’m about to get some.” Shigaraki barked back at Dabi.

“Yeah! I’m about to get some!” Spinner echoed from under Shigaraki, his every word dripping with excitement. Somehow, Spinner felt breathless already, although Shigaraki hadn't even touched him yet.

“Gross,” Dabi muttered before walking out of Shigaraki’s room and closing the door behind him, leaving Spinner and Shigaraki alone again.

Faint sounds from Shigaraki’s computer provided a distraction for Spinner, who was too overwhelmed to function. He looked into Shigaraki’s ruby eyes and found himself starstruck by the man he called a loser just a while ago. Reality was so much better than fictional worlds at times, and this was one of those times.

“Guess I wasn’t that bad of a flirt after all,” Shigaraki said, before leaning down over Spinner’s trembling form.

Stain’s nuts weren’t the only thing getting sucked tonight.

#shigaraki tomura #shuichi iguchi #spinaraki #bnha #mha #midnight madness #my fanfics are getting weirder and weirder #also I'm gonna be gone for the next week so don't expect much activity from me

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moonstruck-ffxiv-blog · 6 years

Text

LFRP - Celestin Bellerose on Mateus

the basics ––––

NAME: Célestin Auguste Evaux Bellerose NICKNAME: Cel, Titi (he hates it), The Wilted Rose of Ishgard AGE: 46 summers old RACE: Elezen, Duskwight GENDER: M SEXUALITY: Homosexual, asexual, aromatic. MARITAL STATUS: Married SERVER: Mateus TL;DR: The last of his bloodline, Celestin comes from a minor Ishgardian noble house. Detests politics, self-exiled from the Holy See. Loves knowledge. Hates people. Secretive and very dislikable. He is an airship engineer, serving on the Sky Fury, a pirate vessel. He is currently looking into a way to make a perpetual energy machine. Asocial, misanthropic, he is more a villain than a hero.

(Warning: long post)

physical––––

HAIR: Greasy blonde. EYES: Ruby red. SKIN: Ashy white. NAMEDAY: 15th Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon HEIGHT: 6’3’’ (193 cm) WEIGHT: 190 ponzes (Sickly frame) TATTOOS/SCARS: The scars he has around his testicles when he self-castrated himself, at the age of 19. He also has a long blemish around his stomach. It looks like a self-inflicted scalpel wound. DISTINGUISHING MARKS: He is a repulsive man. His traits seem they have melted on his face, they are sad and baggy. His skin is pallid: he has the complexion of a one-week-old cadaver that has been rotting in the Lominsa sun. His hair is already starting to thin and that, in uneven patches. They are always greasy, limp, breaking, dull. His limbs are too long and too thin, his fingers are elongated and skeletal, his nails are yellowing. Really. A goobbue arse is more pleasant to look at than his face. COMMON ACCESSORIES: He's short-sighted so he never wanders far away without his glasses. He’s blind as a bat.

personal ––––

PROFESSION: Engineer, alchemist, makeshift surgeon. HOBBIES: Reading, genealogy, origami, currency collecting. LANGUAGES: Eorzean common, Voidspeech (cannot speak but comprehend), old roegadyn, Mhachi, Allagan, some fundamental of Doman. RESIDENCE: Mist BIRTHPLACE: Ishgard, Coerthas PATRON DEITY: Atheist. Still, his Ishgardian upbringing could make Halone her patron deity. FEARS: Failure, growing old especially getting senile, going blind, dying, getting irrational, falling in love. PERSONALITY: Celestin’s personality is as pleasant as rubbing sandpaper on one’s genitals. While he is polite, his tone is cold, bored and apathetic. He doesn’t care for Spokenkind interaction neither he seeks it. Every conversation serves a purpose. If he doesn’t, it is a chore and wishes to be done with it as soon as possible. OTHER: He has a permanent injury in his left leg that make him limp. He has to walk with a cane and he cannot run.

relationships ––––

SPOUSE: Guolbryda/Guol Bryda, the captain of the pirate airship he’s serving on. While it is a sexless and loveless marriage, they did marry each other out of necessity, none of them plan to get a divorce. They are content with this union, has to present advantages. It is easier to pass the customs as a married couple. There is also the Eternal Ring, imbued with that Teleportation magic, that saved each other more than once. CHILDREN: None PARENTS: Evaux Bellerose (deceased), his father. He died some years ago and with him, the noble name of Bellerose, as both of his sons are unavailable to take the mantle after he returned to the Life Stream. Celestin, in his diligence and seriousness, was his favorite child. Oh, how the Gods tormented him by making him his second born. Mariette Bellerose (71), née Sainte-Claire, his mother. The youngest of her sisters, she was from a minor noble family, with a status slightly better than her husband’s. After much cajoleries, she was married to Evaux Jr.; that was Evaux Senior last attempt to tried to salvage the Bellerose’s name. After the death of Aurèle, she sank into melancholy and depression.

SIBLINGS: Aurèle Bellerose (deceased), his older brother. Flamboyant, handsome and bold, he was everything Celestin never could be. Their fraternal love had a lot of friction, due to their parent’s pressure to “be what is asked you to be”. A harsh rivalry only kept growing with the years, fed with their conflicting personality.

Unable to bear with the politics of Ishgard and what his parents requested of him, Aurele committed suicide when Celestin was 18 summers old. He hanged himself to a spear of a Halonic statue, situated near the family’s favorite church -even in death, he kept his flair for the dramatic. The morning of that Iceday, while the community gathered to pray and praised Halone, the already cold body of Aurele was there to welcome them, slowly turning on its rope. All of his patriotic burden, the one that he needed to bring the family to great heights again, fell on his younger brother. Soon, Celestin understood what it meant to be Aurele and why he killed himself. The death of his sibling had a profound effect on him, realizing how fragile existence was. He keeps a portrait of his brother in his office, bringing the picture face down every time someone enters. GRANDPARENTS : (Father’s side) Evaux Bellerose Sr., Andrette Bellerose née Druirard. (Mother’s side) Auguste Sainte-Claire, Eldanne Sainte-Claire née Dupieu. OTHER RELATIVES: Ashinne Berger née Ruinier, was Bellerose (43) his ex-wife. While Celestin was still in Ishgard, after the death of Aurele, one of the first things Evaux did was to find a woman to perpetuate the Bellerose’s name. The quite young Ashinne Ruinier (she was only 15 at that time), didn’t want to marry this ugly man, yet was forced to by her own family. She never bore him a child, as Celestin never slept in her bed once. After his disappearance and consequent declaration of his death by the Holy See, she remarried.

Fabienne Bellerose (29) His niece, only child of Aurele. She was only one summer old when her father died and she doesn’t remember him at all. She heard rumors her uncle could still be alive and that piqued her interest. Her only connection with the Bellerose part of herself was her mad grandmother and her brooding grandfather. At her age, she still hasn’t found a man. Nowadays, however, no one wants her. Not only she is “too old” by Ishgardian standard but she is also too weird.

PETS: B'zatr, an Ahriman. It’s more like of a minion than a pet: B'zatr takes care of all the heavy lifting, grunt work and whatever Celestin doesn’t want to do. It is also a garbage disposal, making everything compromising disappear in a jiffy. It serves him, as a slave to its master, no love or true loyalty behind its actions. One day, however, one day that Ahriman will be the master. It's only buying its time.

skills––––

IN-CHARACTER CLASS: Black Mage. READ: Yes WRITE: Yes COUNT: Yes

additional information ––––

SMOKING HABIT: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. DRUGS: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess. ALCOHOL: never / sometimes / frequently / to excess FAVORITE COLORS: Dalamud red, royal blue, deepwood green, grey FAVORITE SMELLS: Ink, musty book, rust, motor’s grease FAVORITE TEXTURES: Metal, velvet FAVORITE FOODS: Ishgardian muffins, royal eggs, marrons glacés FAVORITE DRINKS: Black tea, red wine, hot cocoa

possible hooks ––––

“The dollmaster” Celestin does a lot of experimentation on corpses, Ashkin, Beastmen and Voidsents alike. Your OC could be the result of such scientific endeavor. The exact point of they are, is up in the air: Homonculus, golem, reanimated body, Voidsent chimera… however, now Frankenstein has a monster to call him his own. How is their relationship? Will the creature rebelled against its master?

“The teacher:” He could either be an engineering teacher, an alchemist teacher or a black mage teacher… if your character is nosy enough to find he owns a soul stone.

“A fellow scientist”: Your character could be one of Celestin’s correspondent; he writes a lot of letters to different arcanists, biologists, surgeons,... he is interested in all types of science.

“The Void and forbidden knowledge.” Being a lore-seeker above all else, any ancient magic or musty old books will light that oh-very-rare glow of interest in his eyes.

“Oh, this is quite fascinating”: If your character has anything to do with the Void or Allagan, Celestin will want to know more about him/her.. and probably will want to perform a vivisection.

“I heard about an airship? What’s the name? The… Sky Fury?” While he is not the captain, he is still an officer aboard the airship. Trusted by Guol, he can carry on interviews and recruit new members.

ooc stuff––––

What I am looking for ✔Pre-established relationships ✔Dark, philosophical, mature plotlines. ✔Horror ✔Meeting other villains, doing character studies ✔Enigmas ✔RPing about/into the Mhach raids, Azys Lla, Alexander and Coils of Bahamut raid ✔Nerd talks. ✔IC mind games ✔Voidsent, Voidtainted, Nightkins, Black mages ✔ Having student(s) ICly

What I am not looking for ✘Godmode, metagaming I don’t have the interest to have the freedom of my character rob from me, neither I want to deal with OOC knowledge seeping ICly. ✘ Shipping & ERP Celestin is aromatic and asexual, I would appreciate if you could respect that about the character. ✘ No permanent maiming/death we didn’t first spoke and agree about it. I’m not completely closed to the option but let’s talk first. ✘OOC drama & toxicity Naturally. ✘ Grimdark for the sake of being grimdark Being dark must mean something, it must bring something on the table. I don’t want to murder thousands of children and wear their corpse as clothing, only to congratulate myself because “ Wow I’m so edgy and deep.” ✘ Fluff and slice-of-life This character is profoundly misadapted for that kind of plotlines.

Ask me about ✣ Kidnapping & long-terms imprisonments It’s a maybe. Celestin is far from being a defenseless being and taking him down, if cornered, will be a difficult task. ✣Long-term RP I don’t have much time for it, I prefer one-shot, short-termed or medium-termed. For me to want a long-term, I need a really good story and a good friend. Throw ideas at me!

☛If you are uncomfortable with body horror, gore and inhuman experimentations, Celestin is not a good match for you. ☛ The character is pretty inflexible, it’s his way or nothing. If it’s something you cannot deal with, I do have friendlier characters. (Ezrien and Ephraim are both good examples.) ☛ He is ICly a black mage, if you don’t like that, I do have more lore-abiding characters. (Narcisse, Medekhgui, Frydhaerz, Rhetizwyn.)

Disponibilities ➧EST ➧Weekday: Evenings (7h30 PM ~ 11 PM) ➧Saturday: Day & evening

I can RP... ➧In-game (favorite way to do it). ➧Discord I'm not going to display my Discord tag publicly so you will have to send me a DM to get a hold of it.

Send me a DM if interested! Thanks for reading all of this!

#lfrp #celestin bellerose #long post #no shipping #no erp #villain character #mateus #mateus rp #lore bendy #elezen #duskwight

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friskarm · 7 years

Text

doctrine of fundamentally good/you can be good, part 1

Pairing: Yuri/Natsuki Words: 1957 Summary: Sayori suggests an exchange - Natsuki reads one of Yuri’s novels, and Yuri one of Natsuki’s manga. Things are softer than you’d expect. Author’s Note: woweee i said i’d write it!!! i say part 1 bc i hope i’ll write more to this one day. gonna write their bookshop date eventually, and i have more planned after that...but for now, have this.

It’s Sayori who proposes the exchange at first – Natsuki’s used to trading quips and barbs with Yuri; finds comfort in it even, but apparently it makes everyone else nervous (Yuri can give as good as she got, Natsuki insists, but Sayori seems to think Yuri a fair bit frailer than she really is).

“You need to understand each other more! Then maybe you’ll stop fighting all the time!” she declares, to the both of them. It’s a stupid idea, really. There’s no way in hell Natsuki will make her way through one of Yuri’s doorstops, and like hell Yuri will ever pick up manga. Well, not that the idea is unpleasant – there are a fair few manga who make an effort to be technical and difficult to read, but Natsuki has no experience there, and she doubts Yuri has to will to look.

You can’t read Yuri’s emotions from her face, but her eyes – wavering, always wavering – tell a louder truth than any expression she pulls (which is usually some degree of nervousness, bless her soul). Which is why Natsuki knows, as soon as the words tumble out of Sayori’s mouth, that Yuri is about as pleased as she is (read: not in the slightest). There’s a reason they fight – because they have their own niches, and they happen to be contrary. If Yuri wants to read words that give Natsuki period cramps, then she can do as she pleased.

Which was why it knocks the air out of Natsuki’s lungs when Yuri closes her eyes, nods once, and mumbles, “Well, I wouldn’t be opposed…”.

She should have seen it coming, honestly. It’s not like Yuri’s ever had any backbone to speak of (unless Natsuki dared to insult her 2edgy4me string of words you’d only ever find if you read a thesaurus back-to-back, but okay).

“You’re kidding me, right?” Natsuki blurts out – Yuri jolts. Natsuki makes a mental note to lower her voice. “You’d actually read manga…?”

Yuri threads her hair between her fingers, frowns and focuses on something that’s not really there. The displeasure is gone from her eyes, replaced by genuine worry now. Wonderful.

“Um…I mean…sure…” Yuri eventually forces out, wilting under Sayori’s aura of optimism. Because yes, reading something you hate will definitely bring you closer together. Of course. Natsuki grits her teeth and resists the urge to rub her temples. If Yuri’s into it, she has to comply.

“Alright then, if you want to…” Natsuki says, with a lot less of her normal venom and a lot more uncertainty than she’d wanted to betray – Yuri won’t miss it, but Sayori will.

“Great!” Sayori squeals with delight, and Natsuki can’t help the warm feeling in her chest. Yuri’s threading intensifies – she’s excited. Everyone’s excited. It’s infectious, damn it. “Tonight, pick out something from home that you think the other will like, and tomorrow you can share!”

At home, Natsuki rifles through her shelves in search of a something, an anything that might appeal to Yuri. Which isn’t easy, considering her shelves are full of cute-girls-doing-cute-things and other slice of life fare. She ponders on romance for a while, flipping through page after page of probably-a-little-too-dumb shoujo heroines and their bad boy love interests. Even if the male love interests are a little edgy, it’s still probably not…anything that would appeal to Yuri. Natsuki huffs, and lies down and her bed. All she has is cute things, lighthearted things – the exact opposite of what Yuri likes (she’d know, more than anyone, considering just how suddenly passionate Yuri got about literature whenever Natsuki opened her mouth).

“There’s nothing…” she mumbles, before rolling off to sift through the stuff in a pile beside her bed – the rejects, but maybe something Yuri would like? There had been a lot of magical girl works suddenly turning dark – nothing Natsuki was particularly interested in, but – ah!

Natsuki dusts off the cover, and flicks through. It’s a magical girl story, but it’s perfect.

The next club meeting is – nervewracking. Natsuki’s there early, too early, and paces the length of the room until the others show up. Yuri is late, slipping in with a quiet apology and hunched shoulders. Sayori looks on with eager eyes, but has a book of her own to keep her occupied. She won’t interfere, unless Natsuki and Yuri come to blows again (uncomfortably likely), which means they’re on their own. And it’s not like Yuri will be the first one to approach, which leaves Natsuki.

She takes a deep breath. Here we go.

“Well, I suppose we should exchange our stuff now…” she says, and it comes out a lot less confident than it really should – Natsuki doesn’t like betraying anything more than is really necessary but god help her, she’s nervous. She’s pretty good at keeping those thoughts back but what if Yuri laughs at her for not being able to read it properly? What if she stopped thinking about stupid things like that and just handed over the damn manga? Natsuki puts a stop to her stupid stupid thoughts, and tries to let herself relax. It’s comforting that Yuri doesn’t look much better.

Yuri just nods, smiles a little as she pulls out a book that thankfully doesn’t look too thick and offers out to her. Natsuki takes the book, weighs it in her hands. The cover is plain; a picture of a girl on the front with little to no emotion.

“I tried to pick out something light-hearted,” Yuri mumbles, threading her hair between her fingers ahead. “I know you like cute things…”

“Thanks,” Natsuki mumbles, face reddening. Ugh, why did this have to be so embarrassing? She pulls the manga out of her bag and thrusts it forwards. “I tried to find something you’d like, too. It starts off light-hearted, but keep going. Something happens…”

She tries not to give the twist away too much; but she doesn’t want Yuri to stop reading before it gets to the good part.

“Puella Magi Madoka Magica,” Yuri says, reading the cover and dragging her eyes over the far-too-cute girls on the cover. “I like the cat thing. She looks very cute.”

Natsuki has to stop herself from laughing; instead she puts on a straight face and nods.

“So, uh…let’s get started?” she says, hesitantly. Yuri settles down with her back against the wall; her usual spot. Natsuki takes a chair at the closest desk, sits down, and opens the book.

The title is pretty; she can’t quite figure out how to pronounce the surname of the author but that doesn’t really matter, she supposes. She flips to the first page – and winces. Words, and words, and words. Words she does know. Words she doesn’t know. Words she thinks she recognises but doesn’t quite remember.

Natsuki grimaces. Yuri’s been considerate, but not considerate enough apparently. It takes her minutes to get through the first page, she hasn’t even finish the chapter by the time Yuri’s stood up and god, she’s finished already?

“I love it,” Yuri says, and her eyes are shining a little bit like when she talks about her favourite book, and Natsuki felts her chest thump a little because thank god, she knew it, she knew it – “I need more. Did you bring the next book?”

Natsuki shakes her head.

“I only own the first copy. I can show you where the next ones are though, if you want to come to the bookstore with me sometime,” she says, not realising she’s inviting Yuri to hang out until the words have left her mouth and Yuri is nodding gleefully like she’d rather do nothing else. Natsuki puts a hand to her chest. Fast beating heart. Cool.

“So..what did you think?” Yuri says, her voice still painfully soft but full of anticipation. She glances down at the book in Natsuki’s hands – winces when she realises she’s only at page seven, droops even further, “Did you…not like it? You didn’t read very much…”

Yuri has a tendency to look like a kicked puppy when she’s nervous, and Natsuki hates feeling like she needs to look after her, but – damn it.

“No,” Natsuki says, twisting her mouth, “no, it’s not that, it’s – I’m just a really slow reader.”

Yuri doesn’t look convinced, but tries to drop the kicked puppy look, and it almost works, but Natsuki knows she’s still hurt because her eyes are still a little sad. Damn it. Damn it.

“I’m dyslexic, okay?” Yuri pauses, blinks. Natsuki feels her face redden, but she has to keep going. “I can’t read very fast because I’m dyslexic. Books are hard because they have a lot of words and it’s a lot for me to process, and…manga is easier because there’s only a few words, and there’s pictures to break it up.”

Yuri’s mouth forms a tiny ‘o’, and her demeanour changes; gone is the hurt, replaced with guilt and concern and a lot of emotions Natsuki isn’t really in the mood to deal with.

“I didn’t know,” Yuri says, softly. She stops fiddling with her hair – it’s a rare moment of calm, when Natsuki knows Yuri is really listening to every word she says, patient and quiet. It’s nice.

“I try not to tell people,” Natsuki shrugs, looking away, “I can deal with it on my own, and teachers get weird if I mention, so I just don’t.”

Yuri looks at a loss for words, thinking and thinking over things in that big head of hers, so Natsuki tries to get things back on track.

“I liked what I did manage to read, though. It seems like an interesting world,” she says, and Yuri perks up like nothing else – Natsuki feels her heart soar a little more, cracks a little smile even though things are awkward. Yuri tilts her head, thinks of something.

“Would it help if I read it aloud? Would you be,” Yuri pauses, anxiety getting the best of her. Natsuki nudge her lightly to try and encourage her, “okay with that?”

Natsuki shrugs, nods. It’s not ideal, but – it would help.

“I use audiobooks at home for Lit class,” she says, “so, yeah. It would help.”

Yuri hesitates, heads over to her usual spot with the book in hand and pats the space beside her. Natsuki swallows. Whew…

Natsuki gingerly takes a seat beside Yuri – face flushes as Yuri wiggles closer, places the book on her lap but close enough so that Natsuki can see, shoulders touching, hips side to side…

Yuri’s patient; she waits until Natsuki’s stopped moving before she starts reading. Her voice is smooth, melodic almost, pleasant to listen to. It’s a lot easier to match the words in Yuri’s voice to the ones on the page, as opposed to trying to read them on her own – all her mistakes in the first few pages hurt a little at first but soon she doesn’t care anymore, just wants to listen to Yuri read and read and read…

Natsuki leans her head on Yuri’s shoulder, takes a moment to close her eyes because everything is so vivid, and Yuri reads so well, so articulately that Natsuki can almost paint a picture of every scene in her mind. The story isn’t quite to her taste, but she doesn’t mind.

Natsuki feels a sigh escape when Yuri closes the book, because club is over, they have to go home, lest the school kick them out, but –

“What did you think?” Yuri repeat the question from earlier, softly.

“I liked it,” Natsuki says, and she doesn’t have to lie, “it’s not something I’d normally read, but I liked it. We should, um, continue this next week, if you want…”

The expression of glee on Yuri’s face strikes Natsuki’s heart with stars.

“I’d love to!”

#ddlc #doki doki literature club #yuri ddlc #natsuki ddlc #natsuyuri #natsuki x yuri #what the fuck is my writing tag again #i hope yall enjoy....lemme know if u do...

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flowers-in-your-dustbin · 7 years

Note

All the numbers again (second tag reblog)

1: When you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More milk than cereal cause I like to drink it!

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Yeah, but when I can get into the warmth after that's even better!

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? I try to remember the page number instead so usually end on a multiple of 10 or 5.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? Tea: Two sugars, milk, hopefully brewed by the gal. Coffee: I don’t!

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Kinda!

6: do you keep plants? Nope!

7: do you name your plants? None to name!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Oils if I had the money for that so typically watercolours

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I am right now.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Typically side, but back is fine. Not stomach really!

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? Oh My Gouda.

12: what's your favorite planet? Uranus ;)

13: what's something that made you smile today? My gal surprised me with a beautiful orchid

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Edgy expose brick aesthetic

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! Uranus’ blue glow is due to an abundance of methane which filters out red light.

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Spaghetti carbonara probs! Especially cooked by the best.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I don’t! I did want pastel pink in August.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. I had a paddy fit in primary school because I used to always sabotage my meals so I didn't eat them but I spilt milk on something I legitimately didn’t mind having... I cried over spilt milk.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? I do! I write the days events and my feelings, I draw key points or little objects. Not all the time tho.

20: what's your favorite eye color? A nice hazel-y to chocolate amber brown woop

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. A grey Kanken Fjallraven, if Switzerland counts as hell, there you have it.

22: are you a morning person? Yeah! I’m straight too!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Exactly that, nothing. With a side of music.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Only the one.

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned slaughterhouse. Soz vegans

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? Black old skool vans hehe original

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Strawberry!

28: sunrise or sunset? Why not both in a day?

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? I’m not sure!

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? I’m not sure, close calls/

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. I like socks. Weird socks are fun. So are odd ones. I do not sleep with my socks, nor do I confine myself to white sock hell.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. We had deep convos for the time, we probs cried, then probs went to sleep.

33: what's your fave pastry? Uh choux just cause I can remember that is one. Hahahaha.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? I had one called Baxter Bear which was the best, he was quite obviously a bear with a red scarf and his own passport. I threw up on him in the car and he was never the same again, he disappeared short after. Don’t ask about Scrubs the dog.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? I do, I just don't use them often.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? The xx

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? A healthy middle.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! Couldn’t possibly. There’s a fair few.

39: what color do you wear the most? Probably black? Emo ik.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a necklace I got for my 16th its very cute and only comes out when I have heterosexual days to masquerade it. It’s nice.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, it’s my favourite ever. I don’t read as much as I used to, sigh.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! There’s a cute local one. They do unreal Nutella pancakes and its quite central and very aesthetic-y. Yum!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? My gal, typically on the way to my car where I point out Orion or The Dipper. It’d be nice to do it properly sometime.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Two days ago.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? When I need to.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. Someone mentions a dog, then I normally incorporate the word ‘ruff’ as a homophone for ‘rough’ and get death stares. But I like it.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Gherkins.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Abandonment/loneliness hahahah yes it is.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I do like buying records yeah! I can’t say until April the 23rd but I’ll have bought another by then.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? I don’t think I do have anything odd!

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Uncomfortable by Wallows, as well as Fast Food by D.I.D and many many more.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? The new Patrick one is doing pretty good.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Nope, nope, nope and nope!

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? My dog. I didn't walk him.

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? Hahahah you wouldn’t want to know.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Feeling secure with them, if you get me.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? CAN YOU DO THE FANDANGO!?!?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? K is probs the wine mom bc I'd say A but she’s not as sensible, thus A gets the Aunt role.

59: what's your favorite myth? Bulls hate red, they’re actually colour blind lmao.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? I don’t mind a bit of poetry! Marking Time by Owen Sheers is noice.

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Me and mum put a fancy brooch in a pack of digestives for someone. I’ve received stupid spellings of my name on the birthday cards.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Rainbow order woop.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yep!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Cutesy and white and blue and stuff idk. But I wouldn't wear one haha.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Serene! Albeit Silent Hill-esque

68: what's winter like where you live? Fun! Cold! Disruptive!

69: what are your favorite board games? The Game of Life/Monopoly/Articulate!

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Nope!

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? English Breakfast, brewed by the girlfriend.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? I've been known to be.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking. Nail biting.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Ginger.

75: tell us about your pets! A doggo! A beagle! and a fish...

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Revising!

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Yellow

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? anyone in the fanclub needs natural selection to do its thing.

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Surprised me at work with flowers.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? White, because I’d like grey but we haven’t got there yet or painted the house since its still pretty new.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. I don't have the time for that shit.

82: are/were you good in school? I was! I still think I am! Who knows.

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Smithsmithsmithsmithsmiths

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? Yeah! Quite a few. All tonal, but above all a Venus sign and more importantly the great wave off Kanazawa by Hokusai

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? I don't fun fact I used to read them start to feel sick.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? I feel stupid for not knowing what they are.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Donnie Darko.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Not Gothic. Can’t go wrong with a bit of impressionism.

89: are you close to your parents? I think. Depends on the time of day.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Starts with E, ends in Dinburgh.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Nowhere abroad really, just a couple of good cities.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Barely sprinkles, but I have a drowner with me to compensate.

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. Full stop.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My girlfriend’s. mum!

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Work, a party, a Harry Potter film, a sad Sunday.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I leave them for as long as possible

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ENFJ/Pisces/Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Hah idk.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Nude - Radiohead is the one I’m thinking at the mo’ and I can’t think past that.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Future. Don’t need to lament on the past when I hope I have a good one ahead of me. Then from there I'd click 5 back so I’m right back to where I am, cheers.

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java-induced-daymares · 5 years

Text

"He knows about you."

There's so much weight to that sentence, for a second Miley thinks it might burry her. It's a avalanche of realization, brought to life in such a short string of vowels and consonants. Xavier is so beautiful, in a way only men can be pretty, with sharp piercing blue eyes, a sly little smirk and a fall of raven hair that always falls into his eyes, just so.

"What does that mean, I mean, for us?" She asks with a hopeful look. He has to have a plan. Right?

His long look speaks so much. It says he is sorry. That perhaps, he always recognized this possibility, but chose to ignore it. Of course he did. He always knew his other self was a sociopathic murderer, it's just her that's slow to the uptake. Miley shifts uneasily, breathing in deep, and exhaling slow and pointedly.

"What can I do?"

His wince is another answer. No one accuses Xavier of being overly wordy. Perhaps it's unnecessary, with such a expressive, eye catching face. This is probably the part of the conversation where she should regret saving this troubled, deeply erratic man. Her empathetic impulse always lands her in trouble, but this time...this time it's deadly.

"What's he like?"

His forget-me-not blue eyes blink rapidly. She's caught him off guard. Bemused by the rarity, Miley sips her dark espresso and waits for him to collect himself. It's a loaded question, after all.

"I don't..." His brow furrows and his teeth clench, "Obviously, we've never met." Her dry smirk echoes his wry sentiment. "I only see the carnage afterwards. I've never..." He clears his throat, awkward in a way only the impossibly handsome can be while being so shy and open. "I don't attach myself to people. I don't know how he will react, but I don't suspect it will be nice."

Miley feels her palms grow wet, even as she maintains her dry tone, "Is he..." She lowers her voice to a whisper, as if what she says is too dark to speak full volume, "Do you think he wants to kill me?"

Another wince from her blue eyed friend and she feels her stomach drop. Xavier is peculair, in a way more unique than his movie star good looks. Every day at seven pm he becomes someone...not Xavier. This other person, who lives and breathes in his body, who takes him over, likes to call himself Jack. Perhaps like the Ripper. It seems the sort of gruesome appeal that the theatrical killer night subscribe to. She's never asked. Xavier doesn't like to talk about him. They are always careful. Leaving no signs of interaction. Always in public, never touching, their meetings so brief they had hoped to never be discovered. But it's all for naught. Jack is too clever by half. Even Xavier is afraid of him, and he fears very little.

"I'd tell you to run, but he er-" bashful now there's a light, becoming blush on the man's high cheekbones. Xavier is dreamy. It's a wonder so many passed him by in the street, bleeding and near death, but then he didn't look nearly as appealing then. "He likes the chase. I'm afraid it'll excite him more if you do."

Miley nibbles her lower lip. Trying to digest this fact analytically. It seems so wrong, so adverse to everything Xavier, this shy handsome man who stutters around social interaction, so adorably awkward and blunt, to imagine him preying on others. Hunting humans like cattle and butchering them so candidly, with blood lust only equaled by his enjoyment. Yet of course it isn't him, not really, it's Jack. A persona she doesn't know, and has no desire to meet. Yet it seems the choice has been stripped from her. Jack knows about her. Only time will tell what consequences such a thing will bring.

The sounds and smells of the coffee shop permeate the air. Filling the tense silence with the hiss of milk being steamed, the ding-da-chink of the register popping open, the idle chatter of patrons and baristas alike. It seems so normal. So wholesome. A dreadful contrast to their illecit conversation. It hasn't really hit her yet. She means for it to. The brunette pushes her hair behind her ears and eyes her counterpart somberly.

"You have to tell me about him, it might be my only chance," she presses. Xavier baulks. He doesn't like discussing Jack. Aside from the racy headlines, she knows so little. If he hadn't had that profiler's sketch drawn of him a few months back, a face unmistakable, Miley wonders dejectedly if he would have even told her of his other half's existence. Jack is dehhabilitating to Xavier, ruination and despair. A part of him feels inordinately guilty, as if he is somehow responsible for something so beyond his control. And who could blame him? Two personalities, one body. She suspects the man before her wonders who is real sometimes, him or Jack. To her he is real, very much so, but he isn't fully convinced. Didn't expect her to believe him at his word. Logically, perhaps she shouldn't, but she feels it. Deep on a part of her where doubt can't touch, Xavier is Xavier. He couldn't kick a puppy, let alone butcher another human being in cold blood. It's hard to say how she knows this, considering they aren't so very close, have only met sporadically over the passing months. She just does. Like how she knows the sky is blue and the ocean has waves. It shocked her at first, yes, even almost repelled her, but she's made peace with that now, and that determination isn't the sort to be lightly cast aside.

""Xav," she says it like 'Xave' a shortening she only uses rarely, to keep it's intimacy from scaring him off, "Please." It's the please that does it, he sips from his hot Zen tea idly, but she can see the fine tremors in his hand he tries so hard to quiet.

His whole body sighs, and with a air of reluctant defeat he monotones, "Jack doesn't like to share. Especially me. He won't be happy to know I've formed a-" he searched for the right word absently, "attachment, outside of him. He wants all my focus. My suffering is just as important to him as his victims'."

Lost blue eyes meet her own green-hazel ones forlornly. "When we were kids, if I liked some toy, he broke it. If I got close to someone he hurt them or drove them off. He won't let this go Miley, he can't."

She nods, profuntury, trying for disinterested even as her heart pounds a frantic rhythum in her chest. She's seen the headlines. The gruesome torture and rape, the blatant violence and sickened showmanship of a psychopath making art out of corpses. Her skin needles and she fights the dizzy distortion of realizing very soon she might be facing a real monster. Not the ones of her childhood with dripping fangs and glowing eyes that hide under beds and in closets, no. This one will appear in the guise of a close friend, someone she started to feel protective of and cherish before she actually meant to. It's all very distressing.

"He takes over at seven, right?"

His sullen nod is answer enough. Miley sips her espresso, feeling the hot liquid slide over her tongue thoughtfully and hoping beyond hope it won't be her last taste. Her last time seeing her friend. Or her life. She doesn't have much of one, obviously, or else she might have not been so drawn to Xavier and his plight, but it's still her life. The only one she has. Sad to think it might not last. Ended pathetically at age twenty five.

"I want to be there."

He cringes. Actually, physically cringes. "I don't think-"

"He knows about me, you said it yourself, he likes the chase. Very predator and prey, I imagine," at his shocked grimace she shrugs, "What? I watch documentaries and cops shows. I get the idea, I think. Maybe if I'm there-"

"He won't admire your bravery, that's not how he works, it'll be like a lamb to the slaughter," Xavier immediately feels bad, she can see it as his shoulders sag, "I didn't mean-"

"No, I get it. But what else is there? You're really smart Xav," she smiles fondly, "You haven't been caught even with your picture everywhere and everything he has done. I can only imagine Jack is just as smart. Brilliant really. Even if he's a wackjob."

His hallow laugh makes her blood curdle. "Yeah, he's smart."

"Well I'm just ordinary. Regular. I don't have much cunning and let's face it I don't even know how I would run if I wanted to," she muses dejectedly, "I make minimum wage, remember? Hardly the sort of lifestyle that accommodates international flights or a life on the lam. Facing him is going to happen sooner or later. Maybe if it's on my terms he'll I don't know..." Miley rolls her eyes, "Give me a shot?"

""Okay, okay, too much optimism," she relents at his pained expression, "but I want this to be my choice. Since it seems I won't have much longer to be making them. Maybe it'll surprise him, you never know."

"I'm so sorry," Xavier looks away, uncomfortable and edgy, "You don't deserve this. You saved me, us, I guess." He chuckled self depreciatingly, "I bet you wish you hadn't."

"Nope," she pops the word, trying in vein to lighten the dark mood, her hand finds his. He startles. They never really touch. Not ever. "No regrets, you know, YOLO, and all that."

"Did you just anagram me with a Facebook catch phrase?" He's incredulous, slashing black eyebrows lifted. She giggles, bright eyes flashing.

"Maybe."

0 notes

confidencekid · 6 years

Text

65 Questions You’ve Probably Never Been Asked…

aka ‘mel gets bored and does an early 2010s style facebook survey’

First thing you wash in the shower? my chest/torso probably.

What color is your favorite hoodie? need more hoodies lol, i hate all of my current ones so i just perpetually wear t-shirts/tank tops/etc

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? probably not. but i’d be a fool to rule out anything at all.

Do you plan outfits? lately i try to but it doesn’t really. work.

How are you feeling RIGHT now? mm bored but really nervous about actually posting this for people to see. i’ll probably look vain or something but i’m honestly just bored and feeling a little chatty and like talking about myself.

What’s the closest thing to you that’s red? just before you reach the red strawberry pin on the floor next to my bed there’s an arc and a question mark scrawled on a piece of paper in red ink.

Tell me about the last dream you remember having? um i’m really bad memory. i just remember it was something involving people from my real life, all in a situation that presented itself as vaguely realistic.

Did you meet anybody new today? do customers count? if not, then no.

What are you craving right now? well. nothing, until i was asked. now i’m craving physical affection and oh lord something else.

Do you floss? think of how often you go to a restaurant named luby’s or jim’s. now think about how often you go to mcdonald’s, or order from pizza hut. how often i floss is how often i go to luby’s. i’ve never been to jim’s but i’m thinking about going.

What comes to mind when I say cabbage? garbage pail kids

Are you emotional? very much. barely at all some moments. it’s the depression.

Have you ever counted to 1,000? no haha

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? i bit it once just to see how fools are living like. if you don’t go down on that cone like a cock every single time from start to finish then what are you doing with your life?

Do you like your hair? it’s alright but i’m trying to like it more. i often feel like cutting it all off so i’m trying to stop that. but i’m also not. who knows, maybe i’ll cut it all off tomorrow. who knows.

Do you like yourself? probably not. but. i still feel myself sometimes, in some ways. like now. like tonight. i will not go into more detail, no, no way.

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? um lol HA. that actually made me really uncomfortable to think about asdjkngnjkdf lol

What are you listening to right now? myself typing, clicking, and tapping. also a/c units running outside and people messing with the trunks of their cars, probably. opp, some guy just randomly sang something.

Are your parents strict? my mother wanted to be, but in the end she was just very... overbearing. i think ‘opinionated’ is the word if we’re not using loaded language. my dad didn’t live with us but whenever me and my brother saw him he always tried to compensate and be the ‘cool guy’ and buy us stuff and take us places but i think deep down he wanted to beat our tails. now he’s just kind of there. lol

Would you go sky diving? lord help me. i have to, don’t i?

Do you like cottage cheese? yeah it’s cool and it goes with EVERYTHING. though i probably won’t be eating it so much since i’m restricting the dairy and gluten in my diet to... near-nonexistent levels.

Have you ever met a celebrity? local radio personality. i was like 12. my mom and him talked like real people and i just kind of stood there in awe. we listened to him almost every day. he will never not be a celebrity to me.

Do you rent movies often? redbox is cool but i’ve kind of been shying away from it lately. it just seems like a waste of money when things like the internet exist. redbox is more of an impulse thing at this point, like i’ll see it walking out of walmart or h-e-b or whatever and i’ll see something i haven’t watched yet and i’ll just. ooh hmm okay checkout checkout checkout where’s my card.

Is there anything sparkly in the room you’re in? yeah um i don’t even have to look it’s probably that bottle of victoria’s secret glitter lotion i have on the floor. now THAT was an impulse buy.

How many countries have you visited? only 1. venezuela. i guess technically panama doesn’t count since it was just the layover coming back from venezuela? i would probably normally count it but i had contracted some kind of weird traveler’s sickness by that point and i was barely even... ‘there,’ if you know what i mean. i slept, ate, and sicked.

Have you made a prank phone call? i participated in one but? i mostly find it funny to hear other people do them.

Ever been on a train? yup. lol.

Brown or white eggs? um brown are probably better for you but who cares?

Do you have a cell phone? mm

Do you use chap stick? sometimes. it makes me feel cool and good. i love the fruity flavors and how soft they have your lips feeling.

Do you own a gun? naw. not even a water gun, son.

Can you use chop sticks? in a symbolic sense

Who are you going to be with tonight? probably some online prostitute. ...i would say if i had money.

Are you too forgiving? well not anymore. i’d say i’m about average. i’m still pretty forgiving though, in the sense that i don’t really hold grudges.

Ever been in love? ugh yeah f moving on

What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? what best friend(s)

Ever have cream puffs? yum. them boys go *softcrunch* then *pooof*

Last time you cried? lol it just kind of happens and then i mostly forget about it. it wasn’t really... recently, though. probably a week or two ago.

What was the last question you asked? what best friend(s)

Favorite time of the year? winter. summer. tax season. who cares.

Do you have any tattoos? mm. yeah.

Are you sarcastic? i’m less ‘edgy sarcastic’ these days and more ‘please shut up.’ i guess i make really offbeat jokes sometimes that can be considered sarcasm with actual sarcasm bleeding through occasionally?

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? if i have, i can’t remember the plot. probably not. any good? wait, you’re a survey, you can’t answer. uhh, i think it’ll be good.

Ever walked into a wall? probably. probably more than once.

Favorite color? i like purple. any shade of it really. i also like a lot of other colors quit putting me in a box lol

Have you ever slapped someone? in a high school play in 11th grade. i... still get sad thinking about that play, even though the memory of the Big Slap is a lighthearted one. the guy i had to slap was a real cutie about it, even though i had to slap him really hard and many times in rehearsal to make it believable.

Is your hair curly? yeah. always. eternally.

What was the last CD you bought? um. the disney dream duet cd? the gurren lagann radio cd? kidz bop 34? i honestly can’t remember. probably kidz bop 34 though since i pretty much listed those in order lol.

Do looks matter? if i don’t know you yet. but we can change that. quickly. trust me.

Could you ever forgive a cheater? only because i’d want to be forgiven. but i guess if i’m being honest, i’d have to have my idiot cap on that day to forgive someone who cheated on me, even if they apologized and cried/swore they’d never do it again, that it was a mistake, etc etc. wow i’m a real mean one. but i guess at the end of the day whether or not i forgive them just comes down to whether or not i believe their apology/repentance speech.

Is your phone bill sky high? *yui hirasawa voice* SKY HIGH!

Do you like your life right now? oo lol

Do you sleep with the TV on? no, not really. unless i fall asleep. but i don’t do it on purpose like a lot of people do.

Can you handle the truth? CAN YOU SMELLLLL, WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’?! me neither, but he’s still cookin’ it. and pretty soon, that meal’s gonna be served.

Do you have good vision? oh no. no sweetie.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? no. i don’t like doing that.

How often do you talk on the phone? whenever i have to. never really for non-business things except to check in with my sister. as far as skype/discord stuff goes, not often. i’m pretty much a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants person when it comes to dusting off that old mic and chatting with someone with voiceboxes.

The last person you held hands with? am i supposed to name them or like...? *awkwardly skirts the question*

What are you wearing? undah wear.

What is your favorite animal? cats probably. marine animals are pretty cool, too. i LOVE manatees. pretty much all animals are lovely and gifts to the world.

Where was your profile picture taken at? i had just finished battling some beastmen and they ran off into the sunset screaming something i couldn’t really make out and i was feeling really awesome.

Can you hula hoop? i’ve never really done it successfully, no. i think you either have to be in shape, or have rhythm. i’m not in the greatest shape right now, and i don’t have rhythm.

Do you have a job? yea

What was the most recent thing you bought? a garden salad with fajita chicken at chacho’s. mmmmmmmm. oh and whatever my sister ate. hot wings and freakin french fries

Have you ever crawled through a window? maybe lol. rip this survey

#lol #good night #also #me

0 notes

odium-amare · 6 years

Text

Bian Gi (chapter 1)

If I had known life would play me this way, I would have made the wise decision to pay more attention to the Buddhist sermons my mother often preaches whenever my brother and I do or say something that displeases her.

Had I realized that if I wanted something too much, fate would mess with me by giving me the very opposite of what I wished for. That could have saved my helpless ass so many times.

The now…

My name is Bian; Bian Nguyen. Before you ask, no. I am most definitely not Chinese although the surname Nguyen probably gave that away. It is not everyday a Vietnamese girl is named a name as unusual as Bian. Mai, Thao, Linh perhaps but Bian? Nah. When I learned that the meaning of Bian was ‘secret,’ I was dismayed. What was mother thinking of giving me such a wannabe edgy and dark name? It did not suit my usual (as I like to think) cheery personality at all.

I never thought that in my life, I would learn to appreciate the meaning of my name later on.

At only twenty-one years old, I am an aspiring makeup artist to my parents’ disappointment. It is cliché but you guessed it. In their heads, is it not be better to have a law or medical degree? Why dabble with cosmetics? Is it even going to bring me a stable living?

There was a time where I had second thoughts for my own self preservations and wanted to live up to parental expectations. I thought that getting a ‘higher quality’ degree was my goal too, but I liked beauty way too much.

Growing up in Asia, Korean entertainment was part of everyday life. They were the standard for looks, film, dramas, music, dancing, technology, everything. Okay, so maybe Japan had the upper hand for technology, maybe, but you get the point. Southeast Asia does not really have much if we’re going to be honest and my naïve self adored Korean entertainment. I, like many other younger generations all joined in on the whole ‘Korean wave’ trend, followed the latest hot news, the latest fashion, makeup and more. I decided to minor in the Korean language in university next to my business major.

My ambition was to move to Seoul, South Korea and become a professional makeup artist. Hopefully, they acknowledge my magnificent skills enough to promote me to style celebrities, my optimistic brain could not help whispering.

I currently work at the local Etude House in Trieu district which would finally come to an end today. Today, I say goodbye to my friends, coworkers and family before my flight tomorrow. Years and years of saving up from work and gift money has finally enabled me to move to Seoul. I booked a tiny apartment for myself in a small town that resides in the capital.

Glancing at the time on my phone, I squeaked and ran out of my parents home with my work bag in tow.

Upon entering inside the Etude House store, I jumped at the loud explosions of firecrackers and cheers from fellow staff members.

“CONGRATULATIONS BIAN!!”

“W-what the,” I could not help but exclaim with a surprised laugh. “You guys scared me! Don’t this again.”

“Oh, lighten up. This will be the last day we’ll be seeing you so we might as well make it special,” One of the associates, My Lan, said.

They all laughed and surrounded my person asking all sorts of questions and requests at the same time, I could barely make anything legible out. I felt a light slap on my back. Turning around, I found my manager smiling widely down at me.

“Look at you moving to Korea. You will be ahead all of us in the beauty industry now. With all of their advanced investment and opening businesses in Vietnam, times really have changed for the millennials.”

“Manager, please don’t say that,” I replied flushing a little, but she hushed me.

“No false modesty now. You worked hard for this trip so you have every right to brag once in a while.”

Two of my fellow beauty advisors approach me rapidly asking:

“Hey Bian, make sure you bring home souvenirs and the fruit rolls for us okay? Don’t be too greedy.”

“Bring home some quality makeup that we don’t have here yeah?”

My head was spinning and I felt a hand pull me away to the back register counter. It was my best friend and coworker, Thi.

“Hey. The manager told me to give this to you,” She briskly said and handed out a large red packet. “Your salary plus a bonus for this last month. Think of it as a gift since you’re leaving us.”

“Oh, thank you so much.”

“Don’t thank me. You worked for it,” Thi smacked my arm. “You won’t forget us, especially me, will you? Make sure to keep in touch every day.” Her voice was so insistent, I had to laugh.

“You don’t even have to say. Obviously I will!”

She reached into her purse and took a small object out. In the light, I saw her holding a familiar looking lipstick.

“Remember this lipstick that you and I fought over in the Shiseido store a few years ago that sparked our friendship in the first place?” She tossed it to me and I scrambled to catch it in surprise. “Take it with you on this trip. Wear it when you find your significant other.”

Touched and brimming with emotions, I pulled Thi into a huge hug.

“…Thank you.”

It was dark when I was bicycling back home. Strapped to my bike were several packages of farewell gifts. When I got to the huge flat screen television attached to one of the tall buildings, I stopped to see what was being portrayed on the screen. Aside from a few advertisements, girl groups and boy groups were being shown. Slowly, the TV attracted a crowd.

“And now, we will be introducing the top five actors in South Korea with the full package: looks, talents, history and personality!” One of the MCs announced. His spoken native language was dubbed Viet so people here could understand. The TV began showing the list and introducing each actor starting from number five. Getting off the bike, I was walking closer to the TV, intrigued to see if my favorite actor on there would be shown.

“Second place would be Ji Jang Suk. This young and upcoming actor is known for his serious yet dashing looks that is perfect for portraying the roles of agents and spies,” The MC continued.

“And now for number one…”

I stood on my tippy toes. I knew they were going to announce him soon. He is just way too well known to not make it to number one.

“Finally, number one goes to…”

I heard the crowd whispering to each other excitedly and curiously around me, making me strain my ear even further.

“Actor and model, Gi Hyeok!”

A grin broke out on my face and I, too, was cheering wildly with the crowd like the devoted fan I was. Soon enough, a tall, dark-haired and handsome man was shown in one of his casual photoshoot picture. The scene then switched to him and several security members walking down the red carpet in one of his drama previews.

Smiling at the camera and the crowd, the actor waved good-naturedly to the hectic fans inside the TV.

“Gi Hyeok has started off as a model at Namwoo Actors Agency after dropping out of college. With ridiculous good looks and on stage charisma, he quickly rose to fame around the world with his signature movie, ‘The Joker Card’ along with countless dramas of various genre. He sings and dances on the side, speaks four different languages and is a black belt in three kinds of martial arts. Gi Hyeok is the very definition of versatile!”

The sharp ringtone from my phone buzzing interrupted and I ran back to my bike while picking up.

“Hello?”

“Bian! Do you have any idea how late it is? You haven’t even finished packing up yet,” My mom’s agitated voice shouted. “Have you forgotten you have to wake up at 5 in the morning? Come back here before I give you a good beating!”

I wasted no time racing back home.

“My god, look at you,” Mom clicked her tongue, lounging on my bed while I shuffled around the room with my open valise. “South Korea is extremely cold. Don’t forget to pack warm clothing. Did you add the winter boots we gave you last year?”

“Yes, yes. I remember!” I huffed as I quickly threw in toiletries and beauty products in a smaller bag.

“Are you that eager to leave your parents, the people who birthed you?” Mom continued, this time with a whining tone. I smiled and ran up to peck her affectionately on the cheek.

“You already know that I love and am grateful for both you and dad’s hard work in bringing me up. Now that I am going out there to make a living, I will pay you all back while pursuing my dreams at the same time,” I reminded, squeezing her soft hands. Mom’s face mellowed out a bit and my bedroom door slammed open.

“Are you sure an ugly sister like you can make it in the makeup business up there?” My brother obnoxiously hollered as he walked in.

“Nay! Get out or at least knock first!”

I threw a pillow at him and we both squabbled for a few minutes before mom subdued us both threatening more beatings.

It was a joyful night for all of us.

The monotonous noises of the plane ride was disrupted when the speaker sounded with an announcement from the pilot. Groggily, I wiped my eyes from the short and uncomfortable few hour nap I managed to take from my uncomfortable sitting position.

The deep voice said in Korean and then translated to Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese and English.

“Good morning everyone. It is currently 7:45 AM in Eastern time. We have now arrived in Seoul and getting ready to land~”

Quickly, I looked out the tiny window. There was a beautiful, crisp blue sky with wisps of white clouds here and there surrounding a good amount of land. The skyscrapers jutting from underneath still looking small from my altitude looked stunning.

A shiver down my spine.

If I had known then what I knew now, I would tell the innocent self I was five years ago to turn back and go home back to Vietnam where I was safe and not…Sad.

#bian gi #my fic #kdrama fanfiction #korean drama fanfiction #korviet

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