#decimatlas / matthew schreiber.

[yllowpages]

[ comfort ] for one muse to stay the night with the other after a hard day

It's difficult to keep fighting off the tears. It was easier before, when the anger was all white hot and fresh as he was walking away from her. But watching him leave turned into seeing everyone else in the hallway staring at them — at her ( the senior-crowned ' bitch ' ) — ... and it was barely eight in the morning at that point. So even in the privacy of her own bedroom, she doesn't want to let herself cry. ( She just ... doesn't want to believe that he really got to her ... )

Shawna just keeps herself hunched over her desk, a half-eaten plate of dinner off to the side, while she absentmindedly scribbles random shapes and lines in the corner of her algebra homework. She keeps her head leaned into her palm, eyelids drooping. Somewhere in the background, the doorbell rings, but she doesn't move. ( Her mom will probably get it, or her dad ... ) She finally puts her pencil down, deciding she might as well give up — but only because it's Friday so she has more time to get the assignment done and won't have to turn it in late.

Just then, there's a knock at her bedroom door, to which she lazily responds, ❝ Come in. ❞ She has to assume it's her mother ( her dad always freezes up a little whenever he sees she's upset ; not because he doesn't care, he just ... has a less delicate hand ) , but the voice that says, ' Hey, your mom said you were up here, ' is most definitely not her mom and it makes her turn around in her chair. She just talked to Matthew on the phone like ... two hours ago, but apparently her insistence ' No, I'm totally fine! ' didn't convince him. Because here he is, with a couple sodas and a paper bag in his hand. And as sweet as it is ( as much as this wants to make her cry even more than what Matthew J. said this morning ) , she immediately feels guilty : ❝ Hey — but I thought Scotty Howe — isn't he doing a thing at his house tonight? You said you were going with the team. ❞

' Didn't really feel like it. ' She watches him set the drinks and the bag on her bed and then head over to her stereo to start going through her cassettes. Shawna holds onto the back of her desk chair and her brow furrows and she says, ❝ But — you love those parties. Like what if right now Scotty's trying to break into his neighbor's yard again to get all his frisbees back? ❞ She smiles a little bit, for the first time in hours, but it's when he adds, ' Eh, it's never as fun without you, ' that Shawna feels like she really might crack. ❝ Oh ... ❞ ( Matt picks a cassette and drops it in the tape deck on her stereo : Toto's ' IV ' . )

' Scotty's just going to get caught again anyway so that's why we are going to have our own party. ' He goes over to her bed and sits down ( he always makes himself right at home ) . He moves one of the sodas across the bed, in the direction of her desk, and then he opens the paper bag : donuts. Of course, he somehow found the one place in Hawkins that's still selling donuts at eight o' clock at night ... ' What's it going to be, pretty lady? Chocolate iced? Rainbow sprinkle? Vanilla creme? ' Shawna finally gets up from her desk and moves to the bed, crawling over the mattress to sit down nice and close to him. ❝ Duh — rainbow sprinkles, please and thank you, ❞ she responds with a more wholehearted smile. She takes the donut, wrapped in a napkin, from him, before they both sit back against the headboard.

Shawna rips pieces of the donut off to eat them, settling in right at his side. She's starting to feel better now — for the next few minutes they just sit and talk like they normally would. And she basically forgets all about one of the more popular seniors calling her a bitch in front of half the school. But it's still eating away at her, and, he must realize that, because he asks if she's okay ' after everything this morning ' . She folds up what little remains of her pink-frosted donut into the napkin and sets it carefully onto her bedspread. ❝ Yeah, ❞ is how she starts, but pretty quickly she's sniffing and her cheeks are hot — she finally cries. So Matt sets his snack aside as well and sits up a little straighter. ❝ No one's ever ... called me a bitch before, ❞ she confesses. ❝ And he's such an asshole, so I shouldn't care but ... ❞ She wipes her tears onto the back of her hand and her boyfriend puts an arm around her more securely. ' Well, you're not — but he definitely is. ' She laughs a little bit, leaning into him more and wiping away more tears.

She takes a breath lets her head rest against his shoulder for a few moments. She keeps playing the moment over in her head — everything Matthew Jenkins said, the look on his face, how angry he sounded ... She suddenly lifts back up so she can look him in the face. ❝ You know you're not braindead, right? ❞ she asks, earnestly. ( That's the part that still makes her angry ... ) Matt almost seems confused at how genuine the question is : ' Yeah, I know — but he definitely is. ' Shawna breaks into a smile with another laugh, the tears finally stopping.

@decimatlas / matthew s.

[yllowpages]

❝ I don’t fumble –– I improvise. ❞

He's standing in front of her, literally dripping wet while he tries to pull his counselor shirt off over his head, but with all the water, it's really sticking. Shawna has to try not to laugh a little bit. She walks to the nearby lake-side shack and leans over the counter in the front. ❝ And you have a lot of improvisational talent, babe, ❞ Shawna starts with a smile. She grabs a clean towel from a stack of them and rocks back off of the counter. ❝ But maybe don't fall off the dock next time. ❞ She tosses the towel toward him, then grabs the stack of life vests he'd been gathering up before his tumble.

@decimatlas / matthew s.

[yllowpages]

“ You don’t think they’re a couple, do you? ”

              “ Mm ... No. ”  Shawna shakes her head as she eats another spoonful of applesauce. She glances at Matt who’s still peering across the cafeteria like some P.I. where Wendy’s sitting with Steve — the Steve  ( the newly-de-throned Steve, that is )  . It’s just the two of them sitting together, talking, clearly having a good time  ( at least she knows Wendy is )  . But Shawna’s going to stand by her answer, based on what Wendy’s told her and what she knows.  “ They used to be friends, remember? Like in grade school. And Wendy said they just ... you know — reconnected. ”

              She glances at Matt, who’s got his eyes narrowed as he looks at the two of them at their table still. She bumps him with her elbow :  “ Cut it out. ”  She smiles a little bit and now shakes her head at him.  “ He, like, just broke up with Nan.cy Whee.ler. And I’m pretty sure Harrington’s not like that. Not that fast. ”  ( At least ... he’d better not be. She confronted one senior in the past, she’s not opposed to doing it again. )  But Shawna looks back over at the table, the way Wendy’s smiling and laughing ... Yeah, sure, she knows what Wendy told her, but Shawna also has eyes.  “ Okay, well — ”  A spoonful of applesauce.  “ Wendy says they’re just friends. ”  She quirks her eyebrows at Matt, a little unspoken reveal.  ( And Wendy can’t get mad, right? Like ... Matt pretty much guessed ... )

@decimatlas​ / matthew s.

[yllowpages]

in like 9/10 situations, shawna is in a committed relationship with matthew schreiber ( @decimatlas ) so unless we’re plotting a specific verse where that Is Not the case, i’m defaulting to that