#debating who to text and inform that I am ✨moving✨

[the-siphonophore]

It's very hard for me to tell if I'm over-attached to people, very autistic, and/or overthinking things:')

[look-at-the-soul]

That’s the way it is

Cillian Murphy x reader

Word count: 2,615

A/N’s: ah this has been in my drafts for a while so I thought of finishing it to post it and clear my WIPS 🥰✨ I hope you like it!

And last but not least, I want to share a quote I came across the other day, in the middle of rush hour, in the middle of a hurry… and it made me stop on my tracks and stare at those words for what seemed like an eternity. “If it makes you happy, it doesn’t have to make sense to other people.”

You sighed as the document showed you the saved message.

“Y/N! Are you available?” Your boss texted you just as you had finished your work.

“Yes, everything alright Kian?” You asked right away. But before you had the chance to lock your phone, she called you.

“I know you asked to take the day off tomorrow, just wanted to check if you’d be able to save us for an interview?”

“Well I took the day off to arrange everything for my moving.”

“Let’s do this, you get the day off any other day you want and you don’t even have to register it in the system, if you say yes, you’ll keep your full holiday.”

You bit your lower lip debating how to organize everything.

“I had Craig for this interview but he had something personal coming up and isn’t available.”

“Alright, I’ll do it.” You agreed

“I know you’ll do a fabulous work darling, just like you always do.”

“Stop the flattering.” You joked. “So, what time should I see you at the office?”

“Oh no, you’re going to Dun Laoghaire.”

*****

Your heart had been beating so fast since last night when you heard you’d be interviewing Cillian Murphy, an Irish native, the man of the moment as some media called him. If anyone asked in Ireland, he was considered as a national treasure.

And he was for so many reasons.

Googling his recent work last night, you realized some of the comments of how he didn’t do photos, or how a lot of people mispronounced his name, he wasn’t a follower of trends either and answering the same questions over and over again made him uncomfortable.

You thought you had prepared enough material for this project. That’s why you arrived at the place your boss instructed you earlier to set up everything. But nothing prepared you for that ocean stare when he arrived holding his dog’s leash.

“Hello I’m Cillian.” He introduced himself and greeted you with a kiss. As an assistant informed him he’d attach a microphone to his jacket, he couldn’t help but joke. “You look a bit different, Craig.”

“Y/N, nice to meet you.” Y/N smiled and then bent down. “And who’s this.”

He nodded and whistled at his dog. “This is Scout.”

Greeting his dog with your hand you chuckled and explained Craig had some personal matters to attend. “Heard you couldn’t reschedule.”

“Yeah, there’s loads of events coming up.”

“You don’t sound excited.” The wind blew his hair.

You were surprised how he didn’t ask for an stylist or someone to assist him.

He looked down. “Don’t get me wrong, I am… but I’m not at the same time, it probably doesn’t makes sense.”

“I’ve never attended any, so…”

His hands were suddenly hiding in the pockets of his jacket. “You aren’t missing a big deal.” Then he laughed nervously. “What you must be thinking, what’s he complaining about? It’s just it’s a lot to take in, someone is always telling you where to stand, where to look, what to do…”

“We’re ready.” The camera guy approached you.

“Give me a minute.” You asked, looking at him, then you turned to Cillian. “Don’t worry, it’s not my job to judge anyone. I’m just here to have a chat.” You smiled at him.

That seemed to make him feel at ease with you as he started talking about the multi awarded film. He was sharing lots of personal insights of his preparation for this role in a way that made you feel as if you were having a conversation with a friend you haven’t seen in a while. He made you forget about all the questions you had prepared.

“Would you say there’s a Cillian before and after this movie?” You asked stopping to pet his dog.

“I’d be a liar if I tell you no. Because in a way, there’s a before and after.” He paused for a second to stare at the ocean, it was a beautiful and breathtaking sunset. “But then, I feel like I’m the same you know?”

You contemplated the way the golden hour highlighted his features, his voice made you feel like you were floating.

“I don’t want this to change me, to get it in my head.”

“I don’t think this will, but you definitely are getting more attention lately. Has it been hard to deal with that part of the fame?”

He smiled and pointed towards some rocks and you followed him. “For a moment it was, I mean I had a very publicly divorce in the middle of filming.” He chuckled and you gasped, the only rule your boss requested was no personal questions.

Cillian must’ve sensed your nervousness because he touched your arm. “It’s alright, everybody knows about that.”

“We can edit and cut it from the final version.”

But he shook his head. “It’s all part of what you saw on the big screen, Oppenheimer wasn’t a saint, he had struggles, his own battles. Just like myself.” He added showing you a side that he had never shared before.

“How do you keep this out of your characters? How do you draw a line between set and real life.”

Cillian raised his eyebrows. “That’s a good question… I don’t know to be honest.” He looked down at your parted lips and lost track of his thoughts for a second. “When I hear the word action, something deep inside me steps back and the character emerges. But then when I go back home Mum just sends me over to take the trash can.” He chuckled and a few lines appeared around the corner of his eyes. “It’s hard to explain, you must think this is crazy.”

Crunching down to pick up a rock, you shook your head. “It makes more sense than you can imagine.” He gave you a surprised look. “To me, I feel that way when I’m writing an article.”

Apart from this, you had a weekly column in a well known newspaper both, printed and online that was quite popular. Lots of people reached out assuring you the column described perfectly how they felt.

“I read your article about finding different kinds of soulmates. It was so interesting.”

You blushed at the thought of him reading your article. “It sparkled a debate. I got a bunch of replies and letters with opinions divided, some people agreed and the rest accused me of confusing them.”

Your phone ringing interrupted the conversation, but taking a look at the screen, you knew you had to take it. “I’m really sorry, it’s my grandma.”

As you moved a few steps away to answer the call, Cillian stared at you in silence. For the past hour you hadn’t been bombarding him with hundreds of questions, you had been making him talk freely about what he loved the most, about something much more than just his job.

“Oh no don’t worry granny.” He heard you say softly. “Yes, it’s the interview I told you about.”

There was a huge smile on your lips and the sudden wind blew the scarf you were wearing.

“Absolutely, I’m sure the weather fairies listened to your prayers that’s why isn’t raining.” You threw a subtle glance in his direction, he was staring at you. “Oh, Cillian says hi.”

He winked, pleased with the positive answer you gave him on your grandma’s behalf.

“I gotta go soon, but I’ll see you on Sunday. Love you.”

“Weather fairies? That’s new.” He pointed out before whistling at his dog.

“She swears there’s a fairy in her house hiding her something, so she might put her to good use asking for a good weather today.”

“Which seems to be working so far.” Cillian stared at the clear sky, it was a surprise there hasn’t been any raining.

“I guess she’s right, I wouldn’t want to piss off a fairy tho.” You stated jokingly resuming the walk. “What are you looking forward now?”

“Some time off.” Cillian answered right away. “All of this attention is mortifying.” He laughed out loud, feeling at ease with you.

“Completely away?”

“Loads of reading, cooking, some walks here and there. Ya know?”

You opened your mouth, but decided to not say anything.

“What?” He asked fixing his eyes on you. “Boring right?”

“No, I was going to say it’s a bit shocking… you’re the total opposite of a big movie star mold.”

“In other words… boring, I know.” He repeated.

And now you felt mortified by insulting him. “No, no I mean…”

“Hey I’m just messing with ya.” His palm came to rest on your shoulder. “To be honest I’m also looking forward to spend some time with my people, being away during filming it’s a bit hard sometimes, I’m not always around for birthdays or important moments.”

“What is it a couple of things that can’t miss during your breaks?”

“Music and food. I love having people over all the time… I’m not the introvert everyone thinks.”

“You’re an extrovert with the right people.” You stated lifting your face towards the sun. Take it in.

Cillian’s eyes followed you. There was something magical on your face.

“Exactly.” He let out in a whisper.

“How is it to work with Christopher Nolan? Everyone says he’s hard to please.”

Cillian frowned. “He always has a very clear idea of what he wants, he’s brilliant.” He’d work with Chris every time if he could. “He just expects the same high level and commitment he provides in return.”

That made you think how unfair people made him look, it’s easier to say he’s very picky when in reality he’s just steps ahead of everyone and lazy people prefer to say he’s difficult. Your understanding seemed to calm Cillian.

“He’s just like his mind is always ten steps ahead,” he explained with a smile. “Would you like to see something unique?”

“What, are you going to FaceTime him?” Your eyes opened wide at the thought.

“No, he doesn’t have a phone.” Cillian admitted. “Come on, I want to show yo something.” He motioned the crew and you to follow him.

As you were walking, he explained why he chose that place, he wanted to settle down by the beach, it reminded him of the holiday home he used to visit as a child and not only that, he shared a lot of his personal favorites of the neighborhood, it was as if he took over the tour guide role, sharing the best places to grab some food and the local antiques store after learning it was one of favorites things to do.

“So… what are you doing for the holidays?” Cillian asked hooking the lash on Scout’s collar.

“Driving to Enniskerry to be with my family. What about you?”

“Ah that’s beautiful.” He would be almost three hours away from there. “I’ll be down to Cork. Also for the family gathering.”

“That’s amazing, I hope you get to have some good time.”

“After you.” He held the door open and gave you a welcoming smile.

This wasn’t scripted, never in your wildest dreams you’d have imagined Cillian would invite you over to his house. This was his safe place, so intimate, and being honest with yourself you don’t just invite someone you just met.

He was incredibly kind and offered everyone something to drink, he was constantly moving his hands and explaining how he got that painting or the vintage piano sitting in a corner… he seemed so down to earth, your mind was just so full of everything that was happening, trying to register every little thing.

“Here it is.” Cillian announced after excusing himself for a couple of minutes downstairs. In his hands he was carrying the Oppenheimer script. “Go ahead, you can hold it.”

Your fingers trembled at the contact.

Time froze for an instant as you took in the handwritten note from Chris to Cillian.

“You left her speechless.” The camera man pointed out with a chuckle.

And you were definitely out of words as you went through the pages.

“Wow.”

“He printed it on red paper because if someone tries to copy it won’t be clear. It’s even hard to read as it is.” Cillian explained with excitement in his voice.

“I hope you get this framed.” You stated still in shock to be able to see something like that with your own eyes.

There were plenty of notes made by Cillian in literally every empty space.

“Oh that is actually a great idea.” He leaned back on the sofa staring at you for a little longer. “I’m glad you appreciate it as much as I do.”

“Are you kidding me? I mean… is there anything better than this?” You held the script on your lap as if it was some holy grail.

“Can we get a close up?” The camera man walked around the reading room but you gave Cillian a glance, to make sure he agreed.

He nodded, showing you some of the words he added, little notes like open eyes, walk slowly.

“How do you get over this? Seriously, you deserve every single award.”

Cillian seemed to blush after your statement. He really didn’t know how to get a compliment.

“Well…”

“No,” you quickly interrupted him, “that’s the way it is.”

“Thank you, I’m still not used to the attention.” He let out a nervous laugh, processing your words, letting the compliment linger in his mind.

“Would you change something?” Y/N asked taking Cillian by surprise.

“No,” he answered right away. “I’d do it all over again.”

Y/N nodded pleased with his answer. “That’s good, because if you did something differently, you’d get a different result. And everything happened just the way it should have.”

“Y/N.” The camera man tried to get your attention, pointing at his clock.

“Oh my! This got way longer than we expected.” You remembered he had a family affair to attend. “Thank you so much for having us, and for sharing this unique moment Cillian.”

Cillian studied the crew members, trying to buy himself some time. “Thanks y’all for the incredible work you did.” The camera man was gone and now only the microphone guy was around. “So how does it work now, do you’ve everything you needed?”

“We’ll send it to the editor and wait for a proposal, I usually change a few frames after they do the edition and I’ll send my final version to Kian and I’m sure Craig will want to take a look first.”

“Grand.”

You wrapped your scarf around your neck and bit the inside of your cheek. “I can send you the preview if you want.”

“Urm guys I need to catch the bus, see ya.” Paul the one in charge of the microphones waved goodbye.

“How about a pre-preview?” Cillian asked rubbing his arm. “Would you like to go for a drink?”

He saw a chance and decided to take the risk.

“Is this still part of the interview?” You had to ask, to see where you’d stand.

“No, it definitely has another intention on my part.” He flirted openly. “And maybe we could meet sometime between Christmas and New Year’s let’s say in… Kilkenny? Right in the middle.”

“Uh direct aren’t you?”

“That’s the way it is.” Cillian admitted.

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you got to enjoy this little silly idea ✨ please remember your feedback is the best gift you could leave, it keeps the inspiration rolling 🥰♥️

Master list

Inspired by these photos from the 60 minutes interview:

Tag list: (if you want to be added/removed please let me know)

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