#debated over some of these tags bc this post does get a little spicy

[deripmaver]

one overarching trend ive noticed in this fandom (though i'm sure it happens in others) that i find very frustrating is that when folks present evidence against gutsca as their notp, it almost exclusively winds up devaluing casca's place in the narrative well beyond the issues inherent to berserk.

recently the posts i've seen about the latest chapters by mori and studio gaga present the idea that guts doesn't at all care that casca has been kidnapped by griffith, and that his current breakdown is ONLY because he wasn't able to beat griffith. the thing with this that you'll notice is that it isn't evidence that guts doesn't feel romantic feelings towards casca, it's that casca simply doesn't matter.

i wound up finding this set of screenshots from chapter 371(?) and chapter 372 because to me it seems so obvious theyre supposed to be parallels of each other, and that they're supposed to communicate to the reader the pain both guts and casca are feeling at their unwitting separation, again.

if we were JUST shown this panel, i think it'd be possible to argue this is reaching out to griffith, but in chapter 372 we get its twin:

i really think this is almost so in your face that ignoring it is missing the forest for the trees - either that or they simply don't pay attention to any chapter with casca as the main focus lol.

i wanna be clear, the argument i'm making here isn't that gutsca canon kings (though i do ship it LOL)!!!! them reaching out to each other doesn't even necessarily imply romantic intent, which is part of the issue i have. it's simply that the clues that casca does actually matter to guts (and the story) are pretty obvious, so obvious that it feels willful to argue that she really is totally unimportant.

that being said, i wound up getting a lot more interested in the second part of the page from chapter 372 when i found it earlier and decided to make this post. in casca's mind, she sees guts walking away from her. this to me seems to be obviously calling back to when guts left on his revenge quest post-eclipse, abandoning her rather than face their shared trauma, something for which the narrative has THOROUGHLY raked guts across the coals.

the reason for the separation this time is because when casca screams at seeing griffith again, guts immediately regresses and becomes filled with rage and violence. he attacks griffith, leaving casca behind with farnese and schierke, and then when griffith overpowers him casca is essentially undefended for griffith to spirit back to falconia.

so i'm wondering if what casca is thinking of as she's taken away is that it's just like before, when guts left her all alone, and she's feeling that abandonment again. she doesn't see guts reaching out to her or trying to save her in these panels, she just sees guts walking away.

there's also a section later in the chapter when casca thinks to herself "if i don't get back then guts will-" and it cuts off there. guts will what? i think it definitely would make sense if she's thinking that guts will hurt himself to come rescue her, because he's done that in the past, but i'm also wondering if she's thinking that if she doesn't get back to guts then he'll move on from her just like he did before. ugh!!!!! tragedy

i've said this before but i think their separation really is a very promising setup for guts and casca to really think about what THEY want, and how best to move forward with all the baggage of the time where casca was regressed. now if only we could get another casca chapter.........

[likeshipsonthesea]

63 and 86 for nurseydex?

from the mix-and-match au prompts, 63. Everybody Knows/Mistaken For Couple and 86. I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On

mm spicy someone’s trying to get my post banned from the tag listings on tumblr

here we go: the scene would start with a bracing line, probably something like;

“Why don’t you just fuck him already?”

who says this line? i was thinking chowder, but it’s probably ford or maybe even Louis for some Spice

he says it to nursey, who Did Not Ask For This and was just quietly sipping some box wine (he has expensive taste but the wine is better than the beer ollie and wicks bought) leaning against the wall of the haus living room, watching the dance floor bc he’s tired from morning skate (he was late, got into a fun debate with dex about the minimum wage, so bitty made them run suicides. nursey isn’t bitter–they are very close to playoffs and have a very good chance to win, and they can’t afford to slack off)

but even though dex had to skate the same suicides (with an extra lap for “that sassy look you gave me, William”) he’s still out on the dance floor with farmer (the only person who can get dex to dance) just, fucking, looking like That

(That is the fact that dex is wearing the too-tight old t-shirt he’s had since high school that advertises some kind of county fair that was themed around crustaceans, so his arms are BULGING the hem keeps lifting up and showing off the freckles on his lower back, and it’s so hot in the haus with all the people and the rising temp outside that dex is wearing the only shorts he had on-hand without digging around in his summer stuff–basketball shorts he wear for workouts, that cling to his ASSets and shift with each movement, dragging them higher and higher up his thighs)

so, like, obviously nursey does want to fuck dex in this moment but ford-and-or-louis (let’s go with louis, it’s fun) isn’t supposed to know that so nursey splutters his red boxed wine like “whatever do you mean? me fuck dex what is this ridiculousness??? me?? fuck? dex???? you trippin’ bro”

louis blinks. if it were ford she would Not Be Amused but Louis, little baby waffle louis who doesn’t understand why his mentor nursey never wants to be around him, is just, like, so confused.

“So you two are dating but not fucking?” Louis is so dumb my sweet little chaotic swede, so stupid, i love him (and guess what he goes on to be a fucking doctor, so chew on that (veterinarian but whatever)(also was not planning on flushing out louis’ character so much in this but here we are)

this is when Nursey chokes on his red wine.

“Dating?!?!!!?”

see, louis, along with a majority of the waffle class and a few of the taddies, are under the impression that nursey and dex are a passionate (at times explosive) couple that got together sometime after dex left their room.

what is the assumption? well, it depends on who you ask. hops thinks that it took them losing each other to see how much they really care and that one night nursey went down with dex to the basement and they had a long conversation about what they are to each other and how they can navigate their differences so they can be together and happy. hops is taking a class focusing on the great loves of romantic literature, so he might have went  a lil crazy

bully thinks that dex exploded one day and got too honest and it forced him to actually explain how he was feeling and then nursey explained how he was feeling and then they kissed and have since been going on tentative dates around campus (like, if bully cared, he means. he’s just, like, seen them around a lot and, like, they were talking and smiling and nursey was gesturing with his hands a lot and dex looked, like, super chill with it, so like. yeah.)

louis? louis thought that they probably started hate-fucking and feelings happened and yeah, maybe he thinks a bit too much about his teammates’ relationship but whatever. he’s confident in his sexuality and being as a person. it totally has no affect on all the grind-worthy music he plays at kegster, he’s not subtly wheeling from the background, he’s not the reason why they’re in this situation at all, stop interrogating him he’s just an innocent baby swede!!!

“oh.” nursey blinks. “that’s um. okay. um. that’s– well.”

nursey, the sweetie, is a bit broken. because look the waffles aren’t necessarily wrong. he and dex have gotten a lot–better, for a lack of another word. the move out was really dramatic, and after a month of distance nursey could see that he did a lot of bs along with dex’s stuff, and they talked it out

(dex actually brought it up, which nursey thinks was really, like, chill of him. dex explained that he’d been feeling a lot of anxiety about it, which seg-wayed into nursey talking about his anxiety that was exacerbated by sharing a room with someone, and dex didn’t explicitly say it but mentioned that things with his family have been a bit tense since jack and bitty came out and everything, and they both resolved that this was probably the worst time for either of them to move in together, but they were getting better before all of this, so maybe living apart isn’t the end to their friendship but the beginning and like, nursey was really excited about that)

but the friendship–the sitting together on roadies and playing weird games of i-spy, and the late night study sessions at the library bc their respective jitteryness and silent panicking counteract each other, and all of their kind-spirited debates (backed up by research and articles and personal explanations, both of them open minded about it, listening) it’s all been really really good.

and yes, nursey has thought dex was a certified snacc for years now, and he’s p sure that dex thinks he’s hot too but they’re just getting good at the friend thing and nursey doesn’t want to ruin it by pushing it too hard

all this he explains, stuttering and paraphrasing, too a quickly disillusioned Louis, who stares down at nursey with these giant sad eyes, so nursey sends him away quickly after and resumes his post against the wall, sullenly drinking his wine.

but here’s the thing–now that the thought has arrived, nursey can’t stop thinking about what it would be like if he went over to dex and did something about it. if he put his hands to the intermittently revealed waist, if he leaned down to put his mouth against the slightly stubbly spot on dex’s chin, if he let himself hold on tight and move in close and ask dex, “you wanna come upstairs with me?”

Nursey, per his character, spends the next half hour stressing and debating over what he should do, and in this time dex tires and leaves the dance floor. he approaches nursey with an oblivious smile and a sweating (like dex) bottle of water.

“hey,” he says. “what’s up?”

“we should fuck.”

it is dex’s turn to choke.

“what”

“fuck, sorry, i didn’t–fuck. come here.” and nursey grabs dex’s wrist and pulls him up the stairs and they enter The Room and close the door behind them.

and nursey explains what just happened with louis and the realization and the fact that all the waffles think they’re dating, and dex gets steadily redder (not from the dancing) and then when nursey finishes explaining (because they Talk now, they Communicate, and nursey is Very Good at rambling) dex takes a few moments to compute.

“so me… dancing… turned you on?”

nursey nods, reluctantly yet also emphatically. it hurts his head.

“i didn’t mean to do that.” dex sounds like he’s apologizing. nursey may love him. fuck this is going SO FAST.

“it’s okay,” nursey says, and is about to go on another ramble about how dex doesn’t have to reciprocate anything, he just wanted to explain where he’s coming from, because the Communicate now and he wants to be a good friend and–

and dex stops him. “we can.” nursey squints, confused, and dex coughs, pinking up again. “fuck, i mean.” nursey’s eyes widen. “i mean, not tonight!” dex hurries to clarify, shaking his head and water bottle frantically (which, unfortunately, spills water all over his hand) “i just– i think we can try. we’re– better, now.”

nursey is, justifiably, speechless, and attempting to wrap his head around the fact that he lives in a world where William Poindexter, asshole and kind hearted and total fucking wonder, wants to fuck him (and, like, romance shit, but the Fucking)

“i think,” dex says, and he’s wearing the expression he always wears before he responds to one of nursey’s better points with his own, well-crafted and thoughtful opinions, “that we should wait until after the playoffs. so we don’t affect anything on the team. but after.” dex smiles, small but full. “after.”

nursey returns the smile. an after sounds pretty good.

there are more kegsters between that night and when they become NCAA champions standing right behind bitty’s ot goal winner (it’s my fic i can make it as Dramatique™ as I want) and dex dances at a lot of those too, but when nursey watches him dance, either from across the room or standing next to him, he watches with the knowledge that someday–someday soon– they won’t go home to their separate rooms at the end of the song.

(unseen: the scene where louis explains to the other waffles that no nurse and poindexter aren’t actually dating. hops is heartbroken, bully doesn’t care (really, he doesn’t, he’s just up thinking about it because, like, circadian rhythm or whatever) and louis ruins the whole thing by asking, “so do you think it’s gay to thinking about your teammates fucking?” which promptly makes hops and bully walk away)