#death's toll | azrael answers

[brxkenhalos]

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[woosey-woo-shitposts]

Disobedience

noun

¹ lack of obedience or refusal to comply; disregard or transgression.

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🚧🚧🚧 BEFORE YOU CONTINUE 🚧🚧🚧

This fan-fiction contains potential spoilers for the Obey Me! story from Lesson 5 and on through to Lesson 16. If you are brand new to the game and wish to avoid spoilers, return to this once you've caught up.

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Lucifer never wanted it to come to this. All of this fighting over an angel's love for a human. However, this wasn't any angel... This was his sister they were talking about. Lillith. Neither him nor his brothers were going to stand for their sister's eradication, even if he found himself pained to know she acted on impulse.

Now, because he and his brothers rose up to defend their sister from being erased from existence, they were found in an all-out war against those he once considered friends... family. He watched in horror from his perch overhead, wings folded behind him. He never wanted this... none of them did.

However, as the angel wished for a better means to save his sister, a familiar glint of gold narrowly missed his body in a downward slash

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"LUCIFER!" A figure with white wings that glimmered with gold shouted at him. Rage brimmed in their eyes as they readied a golden triple-edged blade to strike again. "This can still end." They pointed their blade at their fellow angel. "Michael and our Father will spare you and your brothers if you just give us Lillith."

He narrowed his gaze in anger and annoyance. Did they really expect him to stoop to such a level? "If you believe I will do such a thing out of cowardice, then you are clearly mistaken, Azrael." He tilted his head to the side, baring his teeth. "You know just as well as I do that Lillith's punishment is an extreme for the crime!"

The archangel chuckled lightly, twirling their sword in hand before flames erupted from the metal. "You make it sound as though this doesn't hurt me, too." With a shift of their stature and a flourish of their rosy brunette hair, Azrael frowned. "Do you think I enjoy losing six brothers as well as a sister 𝘢𝘯𝘥 a friend in the same war? Not to mention Lillith was to be erased by my blade." They proceeded to twirl the flaming sword as the golden steel glimmered in holy fire, however they paused to stare at it in gesture to their words. "If it were up to me. Lillith would've gotten a slap on the wrist. At least she would be alive then, but Father's word is law. You know that better than I."

"Hmph." Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest, rage brimming inside him from Azrael's words. "If you believe our Father more than your brothers, then I guess we aren't family." With a flourish of strength, Lucifer drew his own weapon and readied himself for a fight.

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Azrael felt a pang in their chest from that proclamation. They looked insulted, yet that annoyance and anger transitioned into an almost sadistic grin. "If that's what you believe, Lucifer." They hummed their laughter to themselves as they raised their blade. "I wouldn't mind erasing you as well!"

CLASH!

The moment their blades slammed together, it sounded as though a bell tolled throughout the realm, sending warring angels alike to a stumble from the shockwave. Azrael's golden blue eyes seemed to flicker with specks of red as they pushed Lucifer back, pushing them up against a building.

"You... never could outdo me... Lucifer." They chuckled through a strained voice. Their blade was centimeters away from Lucifer's neck, only being held back by the other angel's sword.

Through a strained growl and threads of his black silk hair, Lucifer saw his youngest siblings fending off a team of angels... barely. Bephelgor and Beelzebub were defending Lillith to the best of their ability as they tried to retreat. Then, his eyes went wide when he saw them draw their bows.

"The angel who disobeyed... because their pride got in the way." Azrael snarled as the blade drew nearer, barely grazing skin. "Everyone knows that my sword will erase whoever is slain by it. No magic can heal its wounds."

Beel seemed to see it too. His head darted between his twin brother and his sister, and he made his choice.

"Die, Lucifer!"

The other angel's eyes went wide when he saw Lillith's wings become impaled by several arrows. While Beel was shielding his twin from the same fate.

"LILITH!" Lucifer's shout echoed within, awakening an unknown strength he held within him. His reaction was swift, forcing Azrael's flaming sword back and against their face.

The archangel shrieked in pain, only to be kicked back so Lucifer may pursue his little sister. Darkness surrounded him, plaguing his features and form as he followed Lillith down into Devildom.

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"Agh!" Azrael cried out as they laid on the ground, clawing at their face and baring their teeth. It burned, not only their flesh, but it felt deep and under their skin, deep in the muscles and tissue that was underneath.

As the angel writhed and cowered, another man emerged. His wings were an ethereal white and his hair was as fair as his skin. The blonde angel landed gracefully with white silken robes before he finally spoke. "Raphael. They're here!" His voice echoed before another angel wearing gold and silver landed, tutting with his lips forming a thin line.

"Azrael?" The angel in silver and gold questioned calmly, unaware of why the angel of death was crying on the ground.

They bared their teeth, still cradling their cheek as it sizzles under their hand. "That vile creature!" They growled. "It hurts-- Oh it hurts...!" Between frantic breaths, they recognized the voice saying their name. "Raphael? Is that you?"

Slowly, Azrael turned their head to face the angel, he had red hair that was styled in a swooped quiff, then those kind gray eyes transitioned into concern. "Yes, it's me, Brother. Let me take a look at you." He reached for their hand to ease it from what they were grasping at, however they pulled away, staring down the blonde angel in white next to him.

"Michael. Forgive me, Lucifer and his brothers got away. I need to--"

"What you need to do is let Raphael treat your wounds." That stern yet calm voice interrupted them, causing Azrael's agape mouth to quickly shut on command. They remained still as Raphael slowly peeled their hand away.

That concern quickly melted into fear at what he saw. Azrael's cheek down to their neck had been filleted into, then scorched surrounding the cut. "Don't tell me--" He suddenly sounded afraid when his hand reached over to hover a hand over the wound. "Azrael... was this your blade...?"

The other looked puzzled, only for dread to fill their features. Is this what it felt like to be attacked with their flaming sword? It was such agony to endure.

Lucifer did this to them...

Their teeth became bared as they tried to stand on their own. "I'll kill him. I'll kill him--!" The archangel snarled as their wings threatened to sprout from their back, ready to charge after wherever the Pride of the Celestial Realm retreated to. "Where's that coward-?!"

"Forgetting something, Azrael?" Michael questioned, causing the second eldest to spin around and face their older brother. He stood tall and confidently with that once flaming sword in his hands. The steel glimmered with gold without raging flames engulfing it. The Archangel took a moment to observe it.

"Lucifer turned my weapon against me." Azrael growled out, suddenly seething with rage. "He has to pay!"

"You brought this on yourself, Brother." Michael uttered, seeming fixated on the blade they were meant to safeguard.

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Their blue eyes seemed to flicker with hints of red once more. "Michael! How could you say that-!?"

"Lucifer is many things, but he never is the first to attack." Michael added as he approached Azrael to hand the sword to them, pointed down. "You raised your sword against them. I pleaded for you to negotiate with him!" He gritted his teeth. "You aren't the type to lose your temper, or so I've been brought to believe all this time."

The brunette growled. "He denounced our familial bonds, Michael. He is no longer family." They lifted their head, looking... dissatisfied.

Raphael let out a frustrated sigh as he did what he could to try and close the wound. "It sounds like it couldn't be helped, Michael. Cut Azrael some slack. If they couldn't bring Lucifer or his brothers to do as Father says, then they had to erase them just like Lillith." The moment that angel's name came up, Azrael flinched.

The blonde angel snapped his head to Azrael. "Something the matter?"

They couldn't look Michael in the eye... so they glanced down at his feet while gripping their sword in their hand. "Nothing... it's nothing." That answer seemed to satisfy Michael before he flew off, presumably to chase the rest of the traitors out or search for casualties.

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Raphael couldn't help but allow a smirk to crease his lips once their eldest sibling flew off. "You always ask the least questions out of all of us, Azrael. You're almost as blindly loyal to Father as Michael is." He tightened a hand on Azrael's shoulder while the other tried to apply a solution into their cut, causing them to snarl in pain. "Sorry--! I know it hurts, but this will ease the pain in the future. I promise."

"No offense, Raphael, but your promises are worth very little." The other winced, digging their fingers into the silver silk of their clothes.

"Coming from the one who lost their temper." He retorted, only for that teasing demeanor to fade quickly. "Please don't tell me you plan on following him. Michael wouldn't be happy." He looked down at the cracks in the roads when he withdrew his healing hands, however the scar still lingered in the shape of a nasty burn.

"...He did this to me...!"

Azrael's hand reached up to graze their burn once Raphael seemed to finish. Even with the wound closed, they could feel the scar, and the burning sensation proceeded internally. Lucifer did this... HE did this to them...! However, that question caused them to hang their head. "...I wouldn't dare oppose our brother, nor our Father."

Raphael let out a sigh of relief. "Okay then. Let's get the wounded to safety." He helped Azrael to their feet before flying off, leaving them alone for a few moments.

Their hands tightened into shaking fists in front of them.

They would never forgive Lucifer for what he's done!

⚜End⚜

[mittensmorgul]

9.09, Holy Terror.

Remember, folks. Writers lie.

But Metatron slips back into the story like the proverbial serpent. I mean, that's literally the metaphor that applies, considering he's the one who finally unmasks Gadreel for us-the-audience, despite Dean still being in the dark. But there's far more manipulation going on in this episode...

As Gadreel tightens the screws on Dean, Metatron applies the exact right pressure to Gadreel. It's figworms within figworms, one after the other rotting the apple from the inside out, and everything is about to collapse.

Remember in the 9.06-9.07 post, I described the process through which Dean's lies and half-truths gradually came to light until they were completely out in the open? Well, that's beginning in earnest with his current round of increasingly unsustainable lies, and we begin to really see the toll it's all taking on Dean.

(also need to note one of the angels killed in the opening scene, his vessel was named "Red Dawg," in a season where Dean has both been referred to by the nickname "D-Dog," and also became an actual dog for an episode already... the MoC/demon Dean foreshadowing was pervasive in this season)

We've already seen Sam begin to crack under the weight of it all at the end of 9.08, but now both Dean and Cas will feel that burden, too...

Dean pushes Gadreel for an honest answer about Sam's recovery, pressuring him for a better answer, while Gadreel expresses his concern over working a case that potentially involves angels, but also leaving the entire burden of perpetuating the deception on Dean himself. And he's not doing well with that burden, and Sam's losing faith in himself and trust in Dean's increasingly shady answers...

SAM (getting agitated) No, it's more than Vesta! I mean, this kind of thing's been happening to me. Like, like, there are chunks of time just … missing. Like there are times when I'm... not here. DEAN Well, like I've said— SAM Yes, the trials. I know. I heard you. I heard you when you said it the last week and the week before that and the week before that. DEAN Yeah, because ... damn straight the trials. They whacked you, man. You're not up to warp speed yet, okay? But you will be.  (Smiles at SAM.)  Would I lie?

and

Blue light flashes in SAM’s eyes; EZEKIEL-IN-SAM is back. DEAN (knowing he's about to get more grief from EZEKIEL-IN-SAM) Oh, boy. EZEKIEL-in-SAM Well? What are you going to do about this? DEAN About Cas? EZEKIEL-in-SAM He is a beacon, Dean, pulling every angel for miles down on our heads. DEAN All right, you know what, Zeke? Level with me. What is it that you're so afraid of? EZEKIEL-IN-SAM I told you. When I chose to answer your prayers and heal Sam, I chose sides. That means I'm not in good standing with certain angels. DEAN Okay, well, you know what? Cas isn't in good standing with any angel, all right? But here he is, ass on the line, fighting the fight. So tell me, what makes you so special?

But Dean breaks down again and begins to strategically confess to Cas, still leaving out crucial pieces of information, but giving him enough that Cas does eventually begin to understand the gravity of Dean's situation:

CASTIEL (clears throat) I, um, I noticed you look... kind of uncomfortable whenever Sam mentions my leaving. Doesn't he know that you told me to leave? DEAN Here's the deal. When Sam was doing the trials to seal up Hell, it messed him up. Okay? The third one nearly killed him. If I'd let him finish, it would have. He's still messed up, bad. CASTIEL You said the angel, Ezekiel, helped heal him. DEAN (looks down, avoiding the question) Look, I got to do anything I can to get him back. Now, if that means that we keep our distance from you for a little while, then... Then I don't have a choice. I don't feel good about it, but I don't have a choice. It's great to have your help, Cas. Okay, but we just can't work together. CAS looks sad.

Bolding mine. I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

Cas, being Not A Moron™ now understands that everything that's happened since the angels fell, since Dean went to extraordinary measures to save Sam with "Ezekiel's" help, has put Dean in this impossible position. He might not know the true extent of it, but at the end of the episode when he calls Dean to warn him that "Ezekiel" is not who he's pretending to be, he knows that Dean absolutely NEEDS this information... which he could only have known if he understood that Dean had made some sort of as-yet-still-secret-by-necessity-of-Sam-continuing-to-be-not-dead pact with Fake Ezekiel...

And then, a truly horrible twist of circumstance as Cas searches for answers and is captured by a group of angels and tortured. Everyone is just doing what they have to do...:

CASTIEL Angels butchering angels. Is this what we've become? MALACHI Just following your example, Castiel. How many did you kill in Heaven? How many in the Fall? (off CASTIEL's look)  Oh, you didn't know? A host of angels died when they fell – Azrael, Sophia, Ezekiel (At this last name, CASTIEL turns very thoughtful) ...  "Died" doesn't even describe it. Devastation. Wings shredded, unspeakable agony at your hands. So, I think you would want to provide any information you have, considering... (pause; no response from CASTIEL) All right. I leave you in the hands of an artist. (to THEO) I don't care what's left. THEO Don't ask for mercy. There is none. THEO walks and shuts the door, then returns to CASTIEL, and picks up a drill. THEO I'll give you one last chance for this to end. CASTIEL Give me a quick death. CASTIEL closes his eyes and holds up his face in anticipation of the blow(s). THEO I need you to speak to Metatron. Everyone knows you have influence. CASTIEL now opens his eyes and looks in astonishment at THEO. THEO (continuing) He'll listen to you. Ask him to raise me to Heaven. You can do this, Castiel. I'll be a soldier for Metatron, do anything he wants. CASTIEL You – you serve Malachi. THEO I thought he was the answer, but he's crazy. CASTIEL You're... noticing this now? You were more than willing to do his dirty work. THEO I did what I had to.

So of course Cas does what he has to do, now that he knows what Metatron is up to, that Dean is in danger from the False Ezekiel:

CASTIEL (on the phone) Dean, I don't have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi. DEAN How do you know that? CASTIEL He had me. I, uh, I was tortured. But I got away. DEAN How? CASTIEL I... I did what I had to. I became what they've become. A barbarian. DEAN What are you – Cas, where are you? CASTIEL It's better I stay away. They're gonna want me even more now. But I'm gonna be all right. I... I got my Grace back. Well, not mine per se, but it'll do. DEAN Wait, you're – you're back? You got your mojo? CASTIEL I'm not sure. But I am an angel. DEAN And you're okay with that? CASTIEL If we're going to war, I need to be ready.

Unfortunately Cas's warning comes too late to save Sam, or Kevin, and Gadreel takes over fully, having been deceived and manipulated into doing Metatron's dirty work, just as Cas had been in 8.22-8.23.

Which is why Cas immediately forgives Dean in the opening scenes of...

9.10, Road Trip.

(meanwhile, the angels all continue to be Terrible™ in the background, proving they were always Terrible™ and are only using Cas as a scapegoat, blaming their troubles on him when honestly they were all always Terrible Manipulative Bastards™ all on their own!)

(also, Andrew "what are cars even anyway" Dabb writing an episode called "Road Trip" makes me cackle)

Watching Dean suffering alone at the bunker (Gadreel even stole the Impala ffs), giving Kevin a hunter's funeral alone... this was hard. And then Cas showed up 100% understanding, and 100% ready to help however he could, back in a new trench now that he had his mojo back. So in that way, Dean had already resigned himself to having An Angel back, and not the same Cas he'd tossed out in his worst moment. It's his fault Cas was forced to go to that measure. Ouch.

I'd also like to point out the similarity between Metatron luring Cas in during s8-- starting by appealing to Cas's desire for atonement, his need for all the angels to stop the infighting and begin working together again, to restore order, and then luring him in to increasingly horrific acts he promised would achieve those ends. When Cas had balked, Metatron had manipulated circumstances to push Cas into doing them anyway. Same with Gadreel.

Metatron used the lure of being able to clear his name, back in 9.09:

METATRON: Relax. I'm not here to out you. But I am curious, why Ezekiel? NOT-EZEKIEL-IN-SAM They say he is a good, and ... honorable angel. METATRON Ahhhh. Everything they say you are not. I see your point... Gadreel. NOT-EZEKIEL-IN-SAM (henceforth to be known as GADREEL-IN-SAM) The stories about me – they are not true! METATRON And yet you spent countless thousands of years locked in Heaven's darkest dungeon. And now you're hiding in this human, posing as Ezekiel. (shakes his head) Tragic. It broke His heart to lock you away, you know? You were God's most trusted. That's why He chose you to protect the garden. Your one task was to keep evil from entering... from befouling His cherished creation, mankind, and you failed Him! GADREEL-IN-SAM Not my doing. METATRON Well, for whatever reason, the serpent entered. The Earth is cursed with evil. Someone had to be blamed.

Gadreel had been duped from the start. And he didn't let evil onto the Earth. Adam and Eve weren't tainted with evil when they ate the apple, they were tained with the KNOWLEDGE of good and evil. If knowledge could be considered a "curse" in the first place. And Gadreel just happened to be the one left standing there after the deed had been done, even if he was no more complicit in what resulted that Cas had been in Metatron's spell that made the angels fall. But unlike Cas, Gadreel believes Metatron truly wants to help him clear his name, or at the very least help him build his reputation anew by doing "good" now... and yiiiiiikes....

Gadreel was horrifically okay with killing Kevin on Metatron's orders, because Kevin was helping Dean perform a spell to eject him from Sam, and it was partly (at least he could rationalize it that way) self-defense. And he was all too happy to murder his former jailer who was now envesseled in a Justin Bieber wannabe. I believe we all cheered about that guy getting his comeuppance. But then Metatron orders him to kill the only angel Gadreel had considered a friend, who he'd been imprisoned with, and who'd decided to embrace the human life he'd found himself in, adopting his (previously abusive jerkwad) vessel's family as his own. Abner had been HAPPY with his life, and yet to save his own reputation, and without questioning Metatron's order, Gadreel killed him.

Crowley also played a role in this, using his NSA-infiltrated demon to track the stolen Impala. Crowley praised her for also playing ball with Abaddon (and later Abaddon would kill her for admitting she was also helping Crowley... two very different ruling styles...), and then they'd have to move from Plan A (torturing Gadreel with the Angel Brainwashing Halo Thingie) to Plan B (crowley possessing Sam to convince him to evict Gadreel from the inside).

Gadreel gone back to his previous vessel, Sam feels justifiably violated by his possessions.

Sam: What do you want me to say? I’m pissed? Okay I am, I’m pissed. You lied to me - again. Dean: I didn't have a choice. Sam: I was ready to die Dean. Dean: I know. But I wouldn't let you, because that’s not in me. Sam: So what, you decide to trick me into being possessed by some...psycho angel? Dean: He saved your life. Sam: So what. I was willing to die. And now...Kevin. Dean: No, that is not on you. Kevin’s blood is on my hands. And that ain’t ever getting clean. I’ll burn for that. I will. But I’ll find Gadreel and I will end that son of a bitch. But I’ll do it alone. Sam: What’s that supposed to mean? Dean: Come on man, can’t you see, I’m poison. People get close to me they get killed, or worse. I tell myself I help more people than I hurt and I tell myself that I’m doing it all for the right reasons and I believe that. But I can’t -- I won’t drag anyone anybody into the muck with me - not anymore. Sam: Go. I’m not going to stop you. But don’t go thinking that’s the problem because it’s not. Dean: What’s that supposed to mean? Sam: Just go.

And we're back to not talking to each other. And there's our final "I didn't have a choice." But there's also the fact that Dean DIDN'T trick Sam into letting an angel possess him. The angel did that all on his own. Asking for Dean's permission was entirely besides the point. It was Sam who had to say yes, and it was Gadreel who assumed Dean's likeness inside Sam's mind, using what he'd learned about Sam during his unattended "examination" while Dean had been talking to Cas and blowing away the other angels attacking the hospital to learn what he'd need to manipulate Sam into saying yes. And it's not like Dean intended to lie, that was Gadreel's condition he'd at first told Dean was to prevent Sam from ejecting him and basically dying on the spot before they could explain the plan to Sam. And then over time, as Dean tried to tell Sam the truth before it got to that point, Gadreel actively prevented him from doing so. It was only then that Dean realized just how screwed he was. ALLLLLL the guilt of everything bad that's resulted from Gadreel possessing Sam to this point, Dean blames all of it on himself-- Cas, Kevin, Sam... all of it. Sam's just... still reeling from his own experience that he's unable to see this yet. Unfortunately, he won't see it for a good long while to come, after it's far too late to save Dean from what the mark will do to him.

And another cycle of manipulation, betrayal, and sacrifice begins. Chuck must've been pretty damn proud of this one... all he had to do was sit back and watch Metatron execute the very Him-like plan for him.