#deans like “look i know this should disturb me so i'm gonna go through those motions but honestly?? cas you do you babe”
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cas completely brain melting donatello and dean just being like "what's wrong with you" has me rollingggggf
DEAN
he's billions of years old and the size of the chrysler building and holds unspeakable power and he's fucking INSANE because he thinks your soul is so sexy that he's placed you above all other humans and he'd stop at basically nothing for you
#dean look its like if godzilla fell in love with an ant#you should be a bit scared!!!!! but also turned on idk#cas is so insane i love him#should i be supporting his wrongs right now no#but he's my son so i can't help it#destiel#spn blogging#my ongoing spn relapse#spn season 13#spn 13x14#but also “what's wrong with you” is such a mild reaction to what just happened lmao#deans like “look i know this should disturb me so i'm gonna go through those motions but honestly?? cas you do you babe”
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Chapter Twenty-Nine: Red Roses, Red Roses
Rated: 16+ For graphic descriptions of violence and gore, brief mentions of rape, mentions of torture, mentions of abuse, and disturbing images.
Masterlist
~All the pretty girls, they find
A way to keep you on my mind
I swear I heard you singing along
Cities pass like candy stores
And you're the one
I'm looking for
And so
I'm just a boy
Who's telling a girl
That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose
When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~
"Okay, but what is the proper plural form of Nephilim?" I asked from the back seat of the Impala as it drove through the winding roads from the bunker and into town. "See, 'cause ' Nephilims ' sounds weird. So, is it ' Nephili ' like ' octopi ', or could it be ' Nephilice ' like ' mice '? I need to know this, guys."
The car was silent. Sam, Cas, and Jack were all thinking over the answer to my question and Dean was just rolling his eyes in the mirror.
"Maybe-" Sam started slowly "-Maybe it's just 'Nephilim'. You know, like ' moose '?"
"Yeah, that kinda sounds right, I guess." I nodded. Dean laughed and shook his head, glancing at me in the mirror. "What?"
"Oh, nothin'." He waved a hand. "I just don't get ya' is all."
"Yeah, neither do I." I shrugged and Jack must have found something funny because he snickered. "But what is it that you don't get?"
Dean shrugged. "I mean, I know you get rattled; Felix scares you and I get that. But you just take everything else in stride! How do you do that? I just- I don't get it."
"I told you this, Dean. I'm good at hiding my reactions to things and if I can't hide them then I use them to gain sympathy from others." I glanced at Jack, catching his eye. "At least, that's what I do until I can really trust somebody."
Jack smiled a little and tugged me closer into his side. He had been acting sorta weird since we'd all piled into the Impala for the drive into town. Jack had wrapped his arm around my waist and held me tight against him, almost as if he was keeping me away from the trench-coated angel on my other side. He kept shooting Cas these weird glances and I couldn't help but wonder what they could be about. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought that Jack was being possessive.
Not that I was complaining about our close proximity or anything! Jack was really warm and winter in Kansas was, shall we say, not. Who was I to turn down free cuddles? Although those cuddles did kinda make me want to sink my teeth into him. He smelled so sweet and his skin looked so frustratingly soft. Maybe one of these nights I could sneak into his room and get a taste. That could make things better, I mean, half the torture of being around him was the curiosity of not knowing.
"And we're here!"
Sam's voice knocked me out of that potentially devastating train of thought and I followed Jack out of the car. Okay, ' followed ' is the wrong word. Jack pretty much just pulled me out of the car with him. He didn't let go of me. Weird.
The town of Lebanon, Kansas reminded me quite a bit of Copper Harbor. The main difference was that Lebanon was bigger... A lot bigger. The buildings were small and friendly, made of red brick and wooden doors and windows with glass that bulged out at the bottom. The streetlamps were iron and curled over the street as they should and there were planter boxes underneath display windows. The whole town just breathed in a way that said ' stay awhile '.
"It's Christmas time," I noted aloud, "I almost forgot."
There were colorful lights wrapped around poles and wreaths hung on doors with bells that jingled when they opened. There were even speakers placed outside that filled the air with all sorts of holiday music and I felt a smile split across my face as I started to sing along.
"Oh, no. Don't tell me you sing too," Dean chuckled as he held open the door of a discount clothing store. I was about to say something witty as a response but Jack beat me to the chance.
"She does! She sang to me last night," He said, smiling down at me. Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing at the acute lack of space between us. Jack noticed and let go of my waist.
"Oh yeah? And how was that?" Dean asked, smirking.
Jack's brow's furrowed and his head tilted as he eyed me like he was trying to remember something.
"It was..."
' Please don't say anything that'll get me dead! ' I pleaded silently.
"It was magical ."
Sam, Dean, and Cas all shared a strange look, but before anything more could be said, the shopkeeper waltzed in from the back room.
Her silver hair was cut short and straight with the ends tucked around her chin. She was a short, thin woman probably in her late forties or early fifties with a not-a-hair-out-of-place sort of attitude. I would bet twenty bucks that her name was Christie spelled with a 'Ch' that she would be sure to remind us of. Click-clacking her way over to us in a pair of atrociously hot pink six-inch heels, the woman regarded us over the tops of her thick, rectangular glasses which hung on a chain around her neck. She flicked her eyes over each person individually in a way that reeked of silent judgment and when her eyes landed on me I was tempted to flip her off. When she was satisfied that she knew everything there was to know about us, the woman fixed a painfully fake smile onto her face and greeted us, speaking slowly like we were uneducated simpletons.
"Well, hi there all! My name's Christie with a 'Ch', you know, like in 'Christmas'? What are your names?"
Called it.
"Hey, Christie. I'm Dean, this is my brother Sam, standing really creepily behind me is Cas, and this one here is his son Jack." Dean pointed as he introduced everyone, sounding annoyed as if this was his tenth time meeting Christie which it probably was. "We're lookin' to get Marty here some warm clothes. Got anything, ah, petite?"
I shot Dean a pointed look to which he just smirked. It wasn't my fault he and his brother were so freakishly tall. In front of us, Christie ignored his request to do business and kept on chatting.
"Sam and Dean Winchester? I remember you, boys. Why didn't you tell me one of you had a daughter as pretty as this little vision? Is she yours, Sam? She looks a bit like you," She cooed, stroking my hair as if that was a socially acceptable thing to do. I almost bit her hand off but smiled instead. Her question caught Sam off guard.
"No, no. Marty's not my daughter," He chuckled nervously, shaking his head.
"Oh! My mistake. Is she yours, Dean?"
"What? No! O'corse not!"
I nearly smacked my face with my palm. Were these guys trying to look like kidnappers? Considering their age and the way I was dressed, oh yeah, this totally looked like a kidnapping.
Christie frowned and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to her side. Jack reached for me but Christie pulled me further away, glaring at him.
"Oh, dear me. I shouldn't be calling the police on you boys now, should I?"
Sam and Dean glanced at each other, trying to come up with some sort of excuse and Christie was already pulling out her phone. A very Isaac-like idea popped into my brain. I rolled my eyes and huffed, pushing away from Christie.
"Ugh! Why do you guys have to be so weird about it? I mean, if you have to dress like child abductors then you could at least try not to act like it!" I turned to Christie, shaking my head. "Yeah, sorry about them, ma'am. It's a really long and scandalous story and you probably don't wanna hear the details, but I'm not being kidnapped, I promise."
Christie perked up at the mention of scandal, she was probably just itching for some juicy gossip to spread around at one of her knitting meetings.
"Well, I should probably hear the whole story just to make sure," She said, almost buzzing with excitement.
"Are you sure?" I baited, "It's pretty bad!"
"Oh, you can tell me, hon! I won't tell anybody."
Liar, liar, pants on fire!
"Alright, so long story short, my mom is Cas's aunt and she's a slut who cheated on my dad, who's a straight-up loser. So, he only found out that I'm not his just last week and filed for divorce within two days because he finally has an excuse to get rid of me now. Except, surprise-surprise, my mom never wanted me either because I'm a useless mistake and so they both threw me to child support which Cas here saved me from because he's a decent human being!" I finished my rant of bull crap and inhaled deeply. Christie had bought every word.
"Aw, you poor baby! You get a discount, sweetheart, and if one of your parents ever comes in here I'm gonna wring their neck!" She continued babbling as she led us through the store while Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all stared at me like I had eight heads. I smirked at them and shrugged a little.
Five hours and six oversized bags of clothes later and we were out of that store. We crossed the street and collapsed on some benches outside a diner, remaining silent for a while.
"That was worse than Hell!" Dean complained, tugging his boots off and rubbing his sore feet. "If I had to hear that woman talk for one more minute, I might have slit her throat!"
The rest of us made noises of agreement. Well, all except Jack who just shrugged.
"I thought she was nice," He said, though he too looked worn out.
"That wasn't nice, Jack. That was prying," Cas corrected him.
"Yeah," I agreed, "I wasn't sure how much more crap I could spout about your aunt, Cas!"
"Yeah, um, speaking of," Sam cut in, "You had that whole thing pretty handled, Marty. Where'd all that stuff come from anyway?"
"I've been on my own since I was nine, Sam," I lied, lowering my head and picking at my jeans.
"I get that, but-"
" Since I was nine , Sam ." I glanced up to see Sam's mouth form into an 'O' of understanding. I looked away again, quieting my voice. "I know how to make up excuses that people won't question."
"Ah."
"You are quite the liar, Martina," Cas spoke up with a tilt of his head. The way his words curled in on one another made it impossible for me to tell whether his statement was one of praise, suspicion, or both. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Jack eyeing Cas, his lip curled in a scowl that looked unnatural when displayed by his gentle features.
I didn't look up at the angel sitting in front of me. A tight smile tugged at the corner of my lips as I tapped the pads of my fingers against my knees.
"You don't trust me do you, Castiel?" I asked, trying to keep my voice neutral. Cas sighed and shook his head; I watched Jack's hands clench into fists.
"No. No, I don't," He said, eyeing Jack's reactions as well.
"Why not?" I still didn't look up, feeling the angel's gaze shift to me.
"You lie so easily to others, and you do it very well. What's to stop you from doing the same to us?" For once, Castiel's tone didn't seem accusatory. He sounded truly curious and... understanding almost. His words were something close to gentle.
"Nothing, really," I answered honestly, "For five years, it was just me . I had Isaac but I still felt so alone . I felt so small and scared and purposeless . All I did was run and hide, it was like I was just waiting to die. So, when you guys offered me protection, I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no, even if I didn't actually need it."
"Didn't need it? What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked, leaning his elbows on his knees. I shrugged.
"You guys saw a small kid getting attacked in that alleyway and you helped her out. You just made the same mistake that everybody does."
"And what mistake is that?" Cas pressed, squinting curiously.
"Thinking that small means the same thing as helpless," I took a deep breath, shaking my head, "It doesn't, and I'm not. I told you I was clever, you just never stopped to think about what that meant. What you guys don't seem to get is that I survived for five years . I was just scared that if you knew then you would leave me there alone and I- I just couldn't."
"So, you lied to us?" Sam asked with a frown. I nodded.
"I did. I lied to you and I'm sorry."
"We wouldn't have turned you away, Marty," Jack said, softly grasping my hand.
"I think somewhere deep down I knew that. There were just these things I had to do to survive and I was so scared that if you knew about them, then you wouldn't want me. So, I lied. Because the only thing I could think about was how I just couldn't be alone anymore." I laughed in spite of myself.
Jack nodded solemnly before glancing up and getting distracted by something across the street. His face lit up as he let go of my hand and stood, bounding towards whatever had caught his attention. I didn't bother to watch him.
"Look, Marty," Dean sighed and shook his head a bit, "You seem like a pretty sweet kid and I like you, a lot. Now, I may not know everything about your past, but I know from experience that the only thing that can make up for your mistakes is trying your best to do the right thing now. I wanna trust you, Marty. We all do. But if you keep all these secrets, then we can't do that. So, can you promise us just one thing?"
"Name it."
"No more lies?"
"No more lies," I lied.
"Good." Sam smiled. "So, is there anything else we should know about you?"
There were so many things. None of which I could tell.
"Well, there might be one thing."
"What?"
I opened my mouth to speak but I was cut off by a flower being presented before my eyes. The flower was a rose and the rose was white. It was gorgeous and perfect, there wasn't a single flaw on any of the smooth petals and it was just one step short of full bloom.
There was a hand attached to the rose and I plucked the flower from his fingers, twirling it between my own.
"What's this for?" I asked as I looked up at Jack who beamed down at me the way I remember summer sunshine being like.
"It reminds me of you," He said simply.
"Why?" I chuckled.
"Um, because you said that you pretended to be innocent and helpless because you thought that nobody would want you if they knew otherwise. So, um, I-" He gestured to the rose's thorn-covered stem. "Well, t-this one has spiky-things on it."
"So, it does." I nodded, giggling at his strange explanation. Jack flashed me a grin and continued.
"At first, I thought it was just beautiful, like you, and I didn't see the spiky things until I picked it up. When I touched it, it hurt, but I took it anyway. See, it's still beautiful - even with the spikes - I still wanted it. So, I want you to know that even if you have spikes, I still want you."
Around. There was an ' around ' tagged on the end of that sentence, he just forgot to put it there. Right?
"Thank you, puppy. That was very sweet," I said, catching a glimpse of the flower cart across the street where he must have gotten it. The cart was unattended. In fact, the whole street was oddly empty. It was Christmas time, the street shouldn't have been empty, but it was and that gave me a very bad feeling.
Jack smiled so innocently it made me want to cry.
"You're welcome!"
"You paid for this though, right?"
Jack's face immediately told me the answer. "Is it not for free?"
"Nope, you stole it. You're criminal now," I joked.
"Oh." Jack frowned for a moment. Then he shrugged. "Well, when we grow up, I'll buy you one."
I had the chance to say something witty, so naturally, I replied with:
"Cool."
I mentally slapped myself. Of course, he says something cute and all I say back is ' cool '. My brain hates me.
I felt my cheeks heating up, so I ducked my head down. Deciding that we were in a shaded enough spot, I tugged the light-teal-colored baseball cap off my head. (I had been using it to hide my face from the harsh burning of the sunlight that drifted over the town.) The cap had a manatee sewn on the front and was one of the few things I had brought with me from my past life on the sunny shores of Florida. Laying the hat in my lap, I pulled my thick black braid over my shoulder and proceeded to weave the rose's stem into it loosely. Then, I flipped my hair back and smashed the baseball cap back on my head.
Meanwhile, the angel boy just smiled down at me as if he hadn't just said some of the kindest words I'd heard in five years. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and suddenly my shoes were extraordinarily interesting.
My attention was drawn away, however, when out of the corner of my eye, I watched Cas's back go ramrod straight. His head tilted to the side like he was listening for something, his eyes narrowing to one-quarter squint power.
"Cas?" Dean called to his friend. More like their friend, really, Sam and Jack were his family too. I guess I couldn't bring myself to call the angel my friend while I was lying to his face about everything I was.
"There are monsters somewhere here, I can sense them," Castiel said quietly. Jack stopped and tilted his head like Cas, focusing.
"I sense them too," He reported, glancing at me, "They're vampires." I sat up a little straighter.
"Put your shoes back on, Dean. You cannot rest while enemies are nearby," I said, smiling wryly and letting an edge of nervousness creep into my voice.
"How many are there?" Dean demanded, already taking charge.
Cas squinted harder. "Seven... Wait, no. There are eight."
"Where? C-can you sense that?" Sam asked.
"No-" Cas shook his head before turning to his surrogate son. "-But Jack can."
Cas sent a small nod to Jack who nodded back and directed his gaze upward, stretching out a hand. His eyes flicked into glistening gold and I could feel my hair stand on end as the air became charged with raw power. For a split second, I almost thought I saw the outline of feathered appendages sprouting from the boy's back. Then, Jack's eyes flickered back into their crystalline blue and I shook the after image away. Whatever I had thought I'd seen was gone before I could register it.
"There are two of them hiding in an alley about thirty yards that way-" He pointed to the left "-and there are five more. They're waiting for an ambush? I think? They're over there. In that really suspicious-looking grey van parked four cars down." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder and I leaned over to glance at the car. Jack had been right, the van totally looked like it belonged to the mafia or something.
"What about the last one?" Dean pressed, his eyes shifting around to examine his environment. Jack shook his head.
"I-I don't know."
"You don't know?"
"I mean, I can sense it - I know it's here somewhere - but it's cloudy. I can't tell exactly where; it's like it's everywhere and nowhere at the same time."
Jack called the vampire an ' It '. Of course, he did. It was a vampire. It was a monster. What else does one call a monster? What else does one call a thing like that? After all, that's all it was; that's all I was. A thing . Not a someone, not a person, not a friend . A thing . A pest , a nuisance , a parasite to be eradicated. Skrew all Jack's kind words and endearing actions; they didn't mean anything! He could never really love me back. It was only a matter of time before he realized that. It was only a matter of time before he started calling me ' It '.
' How long will that be, I wonder .'
I was pulled from my thoughts by a scream. It rang, high and sharp, and it echoed off the brick buildings.
"HELP! HELP ME!" A woman's voice cried.
"Max?" Jack whispered, his eyes going wide. I didn't know who that was and apparently, neither did Dean as he flung his strong arm out in front of Jack who began to sprint towards the sound.
"Who?" Dean demanded. Jack struggled to push past him but Dean wouldn't budge.
"That-that's Max! She's my friend! Those things have her! She needs our help!" He explained impatiently. Dean's face scrunched up.
"Wait, wait. Max? Teenage girl? White hair? 'Bout yea high?" The elder Winchester made a height comparison with his hand and Jack rolled his eyes.
"Yes! Now, come on!" Jack huffed.
"Oh ho! So that's why you're not going for abandonment issues over there?" Dean teased. Letting go of Jack, they started towards the sound of screaming. "Does Jack-Jack have a girlfriend?"
Jack stopped and faced Dean, confusion written across his brow. "Max already has a girlfriend."
"Oh."
The two dorks were brought back to reality when that Max girl screamed again.
"SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP!"
Her voice was followed by another, a boy this time.
"HEY! HEY! HELP! ANYBODY! HELP US!"
"That's Eliot!" Jack took off down the street at a full-on sprint. Dean, Sam, and Cas hot on his heels.
"No, no! Please, go on ahead without me," I muttered, sarcastically, "Save the damsel! I'll just... wait here then."
Huh. Max and Eliot. I felt like those names should be switched around, but then again, I go by Marty, so who am I to judge?
Out of nowhere, I felt a stinging pain in my shoulder. A syringe. I knew the feeling well. Before I could react, the pain suddenly doubled, rapidly spreading all throughout my body like a viral infection.
Dead man's blood.
I whipped my head to the left to meet an all too familiar pair of brown eyes.
"What's bouzzin' gousin?" An accented voice jeered.
Then everything was black.
***
The vampires were taken care of rather easily. Jack felt like a Jedi Knight as he suspended them in the air, stringing them up like the murderers they were. They didn't even struggle. Like convicts dangling from a hangman's noose, the vampires knew as soon as they saw Jack's glowing eyes, that their deaths were nigh at hand. Jack thrust out a hand and caught them in the pulsing rings of his grace, a sound like drum beats underwater reverberating off the alley walls. With a grin, the boy clenched his hand into a fist and the monsters splintered into not but dust.
With the threat eradicated, the glow in Jack's eyes flickered out and he turned to the high-schoolers who he considered his friends.
"Hello, Max! Hello, Eliot! It's alright, you're safe now," He chimed, nodding to each kid in turn and lifting his hand in greeting, though he refrained from actually waving it. Upon seeing him raise his hand, the kids shared a look of sheer terror and backed away. Jack frowned at their reactions, lowering his hand. "No, no! Wait, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you!"
Max and Eliot paused, trying to determine whether or not they believed him.
Unbeknownst to Jack, Max and Eliot didn't actually like him. ( After finding out about the supernatural, the teens were disappointed when the Winchesters refused to tell them more about spirits and monsters. Enter Jack, and his unfortunate lack of talent in terms of keeping his trap shut. ) Max and Eliot had only hung out with Jack once, and that was exclusive because they knew that he lived with the Winchesters. Against his better judgment, Jack had shown them a glimpse of his powers and though they thought his telekinesis was cool, the teens had agreed not to search the boy out again.
There was just something about Jack that unsettled them, frightened them, terrified them. Just like every other human who had seen what Jack could do; deep down, they were all afraid of him. Because he wasn't normal, he wasn't right, he wasn't human .
"What did you just do to those guys?" Eliot asked, staring with eyes as wide as quarters. Jack thought it would be better not to answer that question.
"It's okay! They were monsters," He reassured.
"He disintegrated them," Cas deadpanned. Dean shot the angel a look. "What?"
"YOU DISINTEGRATED THEM?!" Max screeched loud enough to make Jack flinch.
"Yes?"
"You didn't just, like, proof em' away or something?" Eliot added, a little quieter.
"Um, no. No, I didn't."
"COULD YOU DO THAT TO US?!"
"Most likely, yes," Jack answered, thoughtfully, "I've never tried it on humans, though. But I would never hurt you guys, you're my friends!"
"You're really freaky, dude," Elliot said, shaking his head slowly, "And, like, not in a good way."
"I know." Jack hung his head. They were afraid of him. They hated him. He shouldn't have expected otherwise.
"I'm never gonna be able to un-see that," Max muttered, staring at the cement.
That gave Jack an idea, maybe there was a way to undo this.
"I know you're probably freaking out, but I think I know a way to make it better," He said, trying to sound reassuring.
"Nah, man. I don't want any of your freaky Aquaman powers used on me!" Eliot shook his head.
"No powers." Jack smiled despite how badly their words hurt. "I promise."
His stomach twisted with the lie, but they didn't need to know that. Max and Eliot shared another glance.
"Okay..." They agreed, hesitantly.
"I have a friend. Her name is Marty," Jack explained, leading them back to the bench where his family had left the girl. "She's right here!"
Except she wasn't.
That's when the Nephilim's phone rang.
It was a picture message. Marty sat unconscious tied to a chair in some shack. The text read:
"I really would hate to incur the wrath of the Winchesters, so consider this a ransom note. All you have to do is find her in time. Tick-tock. ~ Felix "
Max peered over Jack's shoulder.
"Hey! I know that place!"
***
"Welcomb back to the land of the livinc' where the livinc' are, in fact, dead!"
Okay, so she knew I was awake. I kept my eyes closed anyway and canvassed my new environment. Having grown up blind, I didn't need my eyes to see.
My hands were bound with zip-ties to the arms of the splintering wooden chair I sat in. The space around me was large but not cavernous as there was no echo. This was a shack of some kind judging by how the metal panels making up the roof clanged against one another in the wind. The shack was also dark to protect vampire skin from the sun, and in winter, no sun meant freezing temperatures. There was a weight covering my lap; someone had given me a blanket. I caught the scent of hay among other less pleasurable farm smells. I could hear the shifting of five pairs of feet surrounding me in a circle. This was going to be fun.
Opening my eyes, at last, I was met with the sight of a young woman around the age of twenty-two, lounging on a few hay bails. She was long, lean, and muscular with a round face displaying a crooked smile. I could see the end of a tie-dyed shirt sticking out beneath the fluffy black coat she wore. Her green and purple hair was chopped short in a punk rocker pixie cut that stuck out in at least five different directions. If I wasn't mistaken, a few of the strands appeared to be scorched on the ends. Her cheekbones were low and prominent and plenty rosy. She had full lips and a button nose that was home to two tiny diamond studs. The woman wore her dark green eyeshadow with plum-colored lipstick unapologetically. Her eyes, which were set deeper than most, turned down at the corners and sparkled with mischief. They were accompanied by thick dark eyebrows, the left of which had apparently gotten a third piercing since I had last seen her.
"Ah hah! So she is alive!" She said, her thick Dutch accent coating her words, "I was begininc' to worry that you had follen asleep... Again."
I shrugged despite my restraints.
"Yeah, well I can only sleep-in so long."
"You never were a morninc' person, were you?" The woman sighed, shaking her head. I watched her arrow-head pendant as it swung back and forth from her neck.
"Nope."
"And dat's why we're frien'ds!" She chirped.
"We're not friends, Elwyn." Okay, so maybe that was a bit harsh but it was better than pretending like everything was fine and dandy between us. Elwyn faked a gasp.
"You used my fuoll name! You muss be serious. Why so c'old, mijn lieve ?" She asked, tilting her head.
"Spending five years as a walking corpse will do that to you," I answered, smiling thinly. "Why are you here, Elwyn? What's this act for? We both know that if I wanted to walk out of here right now, I could do so without a scratch on me. What do you want?"
"You might 'ave been able to woltz out of 'ere if you had a full tanc', dat's true." Elwyn nodded, in agreement. Then she tilted her head and frowned at me with pouty lips. "But you're quite weak now. I'm sorry, hones'ly. I t'ought dat you'd be able to 'andle dat much dead man's blood but you still look pale an' shaiky!"
"Well, I've always been pale," I replied, narrowing my eyes. Elwyn sat up, crossing her legs and putting a fist to her chin. Her brows furrowed and she looked at me with what seemed to be genuine concern for my well-being.
"How lon'g has it been since you fed, liefste ?" She asked in a gentler tone.
"A little over two weeks," I answered honestly.
"Two weeks?! Nothinc'? Not even somethinc' piffy, like a ra'bbit?"
I shook my head and shrugged.
"Oh, jij arme ding ! I know you ha'te it, but how could you do dis' du yourself?!" She cried, shaking her head in dismay. I looked away. Deep down I knew that Elwyn really did care about me, albeit in her own strange way. I was being harsh with her and that wasn't exactly fair. She was Felix's prisoner too.
"I more than hate it, Ellie," I said, speaking softer now, "But I just couldn't find a good opportunity. Besides, I can take it."
Elwyn rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.
"No you gan't, Mardina! Look at yourself! You're runninc' on foomes and it shows!" Elwyn huffed, her accident becoming more prominent as her emotion shown through. "Be hones'd wit me, dis is because of dose Win-kesters, isn't it?"
"Not exactly," I said, picking at a splinter on the wooden arm-rest. I knew the real reason and it was a stupid one. I mean, of all the ways to try to be better, starving myself to the breaking point probably wasn't the smartest. But I wanted to be good, pure. I wanted to be human. For him.
"Ah, I see." Elwyn smiled softly. "I was told aboud dat Nephilim boy, the rumors were wrong about him. I was watchinc' you two today; he's not a ragink' monster at all."
"No, he's not." I shook my head.
"He's a zoet wezen , no?" Elwyn chuckled to herself, "Sorry, I don' know de word for it in English."
I nodded. The closest translation of her Dutch was ' sweet creature '. It fit.
"What's his name?" Elwyn asked without the slightest bit of hostility.
I smiled. "His name is Jack."
" Hou je van hem ?"
"I don't know," I said, shrugging. Elwyn smiled knowingly.
"Yes, you do. And if what I saw was any indication, he feels the same."
"No, he doesn't, Ellie," I sighed and gestured to the child body I was trapped in. "He can't. Just look at me! I'm just a sister to him and if he knew what I really am then he'd hate me!"
"So, dat's what dis is about." Elwyn nodded with understanding.
"What do you mean?"
"You t'ink yourself bad, so you want du be good for him. Dat's why you 'aven't been feeding," She explained, sounding matter-of-fact.
"Yeah, I guess so." I looked away.
"Well, das not good!" Elwyn leaned forward and cut the zip-ties that held me to the chair. Then she reached behind her and fished around a bit until she pulled her arm back and held it out to me, a blood bag resting in her palm. "Have a snack now and your engel jongen will never know!"
I glanced at it for a moment but it didn't take much to break my willpower. I snatched the bag from her hand and ripped it open, downing it like there was no tomorrow.
"You gan slow down, geliefde. I brough't more." Elwyn chuckled.
"You did?" I asked looking up.
"I had a sneakinc' suspission dat dis was goin'c du 'appen." She shrugged, tossing me another bag which I ripped into also. She reached behind her again, this time tugging around a small cooler full of the stuff which she pushed over to me. "I admire your willpower, Mardina. I don t'ink I'd have de kinda strengt for what you're pullinc'. How'd you do it?"
"Do what?" I asked, halfway through my second bag.
"Live with dose 'unters day in an' day out!" She exclaimed, "Esspecialy dat e ngel jongen ! Da kid smells like garamel chocolate! I envy your gontrol. How'd you stan' so close to him? I was eighty-feet away and I gould 'ardly gontrol myself!"
Well, at least I wasn't the only one.
"I gotta keep up apperences, Ellie. You know all about that." I knew I sounded guarded, but this subject made me uncomfortable.
"But you gould still get a taste. I know you gan make pepole forget t'ings."
I sighed, finishing my second bag and grabbing another.
"You know, Elwyn? You almost got me." I smiled, shaking my head.
"What do you mean?" She asked, feigning obliviousness.
"For a second there, I almost thought you were still my friend."
"I am your friend," Elwyn insisted, "I defied Felix for you!"
"Then you ran right back to him the second I turned my back."
"I had too," She spoke, her voice regretful.
"No! No you didn't! You chose too. You chose him over me !"
" Hij is mijn vader ! Ik moest !" Elwyn cried. Tears brimmed in her eyes.
"I don't care!" I shouted back, "We were free! We both could have been free! But no, you chose to leave me all alone in the middle of the woods!"
"I knew you'd be fine," She whispered. I shook my head, pressing my lips together.
"No, you didn't," I growled. "Do you have any idea how long I wandered for?!"
"You made it out."
"Not in one peace. I lost things in there, Elwyn." I shook my head. "You left me there." Then, I let out a harsh, rasping, laugh and spat my next words. "And for what? To run right back into the arms of the father that never even loved you!"
Elwyn hung her head. " Het spijt me zeer. I'm so sorry."
"You should be," I said, cooly. "Why do you always run back to him? And don't give me any of that ' he's my father ' bull crap."
"I don know. But what I do know is dat I am still your friend."
"Right." I nodded, smiling through tight lips. "Why are you really here, Elwyn?"
She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that had slipped down her face, and looked up. "I game 'ere to save you," She said.
"Excuse me?"
"From dose 'unters!" She explained, "Felix told me dat you were with de Win-kesters and I begged him to let me c'ome rescue you. An' he said yes! He's so much kinder den he used to be; he promised dat he wouldn' make you do anyt'ing you didn' want to!"
Elwyn smiled at me and took my hand.
"Oh, yeah?" I scoffed, "Then what was that phone call, huh? What? Is killing my friend supposed to win me over?"
"Hey, I said dat Felix is kinder den he was." Elwyn sighed. "He's still Felix though. He was tryinc' to intimidate de Win-kesters into letting you go."
"I'm not being held hostage!" I insisted.
"But you are still in danger!" Her eyes softened, "Dey will kill you if dey find out what you are."
"I know."
"C'ome with me," She pleaded, "C'ome with me, an' Jack will never find out about you. C'ome with me an' he'll never break your heart."
I paused. Was there really any chance?
No. There was no chance. No chance that Felix could ever change. It was one in a million. There was no chance and no choice .
"If you're really here to save me, then what's with your little posse?" The five other vampires had been unusually quiet for idiots of their caliber.
Elwyn shrugged. "In case t'ings get messy."
"We'll, then you better plan on things getting messy because I'm not coming with you," I said with a smirk.
"Why not?"
"Because Felix wants me dead, Elwyn, and that's not going to change."
The woman's face fell.
"I know you didn' mean to kill Madra," She whispered, gently. I shook my head and frowned.
"I didn't kill her," I hissed, "Felix killed his soulmate, not me."
"And he sees dat now. He knows dat it wasn' your fault, dat you couldn't gontrol it. He realises dat and he forgives you!" She smiled a little.
"And how many times did he have to beat you before he realized that?"
"C'ome on, Mardina!" She sighed, though I could see the pain her eyes hid. "Dis is an olive branch! Jus' take it!"
I shook my head and I laughed. I laughed long and loud and hard. I laughed like a girl gone mad. I had told Elwyn that I had lost something when she had left me in those woods, I wanted her to know what it was.
"No," I said. Then I stretched my bloody lips into a mad, humorless grin, "I don't want your olive branch."
"Why not? Its your best chance! Don you want peace?"
"Peace? PEACE?! " I spat, "You know what he did to me, what he made me! You think after every thing he took away, that I would want peace ? You think after what I did, Felix would offer me peace?"
"I don't want peace," I said, beginning the rhyme I'd heard when I was still alive, "I want war and I want my enemy's head hung like a boar. I didn't come for money and I don't want his crown, see, I've come to burn his kingdom down. So, come one, come all, to take a dance with the dead and stain the petals of the white roses red."
"Mardina, please!"
The other vampires in the room shifted, readying for a fight. But I was faster.
Launching myself from that splintering wooden chair, I threw my body forward towards the stack of haybales Elwyn had previously sat on. I had to jump to avoid the vamp that tried to grab my legs and that pushed me forward a little too much but it wasn't something I couldn't compensate for. Landing on my hands, I shoved my body up, and over the hay bales in a vamp strength enhanced backflip. I landed on my feet and flipped my hair back. The shed's door was in front of me. Sure, it was locked but the lock was only one of those slidey metal bars which are super easy to break and if I was going to fight five vamps at once, it would be wise to keep my back to the door that way I might be able to be thrown through the door and land outside instead of pushed into a dead-end wall. Also, if I was going to fight five vamps at once, I was going to need the proper tool for the job. Beside the door, my eyes landed on a tool rack. I spied my weapon of choice. This was going to be fun .
It was one of those weird four-prong rakes that I'm not completely sure is called a rake. A label on the shaft said it was a soil cultivator but I didn't care what it was called because I was fighting for my life. The four prongs were about five inches long and although the shed wasn't new, the equipment in there thankfully wasn't that old, so the four steel prongs were still wicked sharp.
I ducked, dodging the arms of another vamp before rushing for the tool rack. Another vamp sprang in front of me, blocking my way and I paused. This one had bleach-blond chin-length hair. I knew him. I remembered him from when I was in Felix's cage. This one's name was Boyd and he liked to touch things that didn't belong to him. I couldn't fight back then, but I could now.
"How's it goin', Boyd?"
"So, you remember me, do ya?" He jeered, beginning to circle me like a predator circling its prey. Little did he know, he was not the predator here.
"Oh, I remember you alright. See, Boyd, I'm not a good little girl-" He used to call me that, "- not anymore. I don't do what I'm supposed to. See, when it comes to bastards like you, I don't forgive and I most certainly don't forget."
"Well, I guess its a real shame that I forgot your name, then. You were one of my favorites!" He laughed, "Only thing I remember 'bout you now is how loud you used to scream."
I gave him a cold smile and lunged straight for his legs. Grasping his ankle, I twisted and pulled, sending him crashing to the floor. Then I lifted his leg, rolled over, and slammed my arm down on his knee. There was an ear-splitting snap and he screeched like an animal.
"Who's screaming now, Boyd?" I taunted. I sprung up and stomped down on Boyd's throat, crushing his windpipe. As a vampire, that wouldn't kill him which was good because I wasn't done with him yet. I was going to make him hurt. Why would I want peace when I could have revenge? Revenge felt good.
I rolled away when a red-haired vamp took a swing at my head. I bolted for the four-prong rake and brandished it the way you would a staff. The rake was long, about three inches taller than me, but I easily found the balance point. I spun it around in my hand as I circled the other four vamps.
"Mardina, we gan talk aboud dis!" Elwyn tried, grabbing my arm. I threw my head back and laughed.
"No, Ellie. We can't!" I flipped the rake over, using the blunt end to whack Elwyn upside the head with supernatural strength and speed. She was knocked out. "Stay down. You're not like them and I don't want to kill you."
The red-haired vamp ran at me again and I spun out of the way, flipping the shaft again and swinging it down as he passed me. Two of the prongs buried themselves in the base of the vamp's spine, judging by the position, between two vertebrae. He howled and tried to claw at my arm but I easily avoided him. A female vamp shrieked for her friend and lunged at me from the left.
I rolled my eyes. Pushing on the shaft of my rake I distanced myself from the redhead vamp and ducked away from the female's fangs. I reached out and grabbed her shirt, using it to pull her down towards me. I slammed my head into hers once, then twice to daze her. She stumbled as I let go and switched to grabbing the hair at the base of her neck.
"Night-night, cupcake!" I chirped. Then I slammed her face into my knee and tossed my weight over her shoulder, sliding my arm around her neck. I pulled backward.
That blissful crack was the sound of her neck snapping. Jumping up and using the wall to gain some momentum, I twisted the vamp's head all the way around. It was easy with nothing but tissue and tendons in my way. Her body dangled limp from where I held her by the hair, so I opened my mouth, letting my fangs extend, and I bit her head off.
The redhead vamp with my rake still stuck in him cried out and tried in vain to reach me again. It was pathetic, really. Grinning, I wrenched the rake upward, severing the vamp's spinal cord and pulling the prongs along with two of his vertebrae straight through his back. He fell to the ground, paralyzed from the waist down because two of his bones were missing.
Just as I was about to remove his dreadful cranium from his miserable shoulders, one of the other vamps jumped at me, managing to rake his grotesquely long fingernails along my back. I released no cry of pain as he tore through my skin before grabbing me by my shoulders and hurtling my body at the wall. My face slammed against a pole built into the metal siding as the rest of my body just hit the wall. I landed on the ground with a jarring impact that I was sure had broken a few things. But I couldn't feel the pain. I was too focused on my rage. I was seeing red, and for the first time, I welcomed it without fear.
"Not so tough now are ya?" He called out.
My body was broken and yet I stood. I felt invincible.
"I know I'm not tough," I laughed. I wiped away the blood that was dripping from my mouth and nose, looking up to smile pleasantly at the vamp. "But you wanna know what I am?"
"What?"
"I'm insane, and that tends to make up for the rest."
The vamp charged me but I twisted around and Spartan kicked him into the wall. Then, using a few hay bails to step on, I vaulted into the air and brought the rake down on the vamp's head, piercing through his skull and embedding the prongs in his brain. The spray was a little gross but I didn't care. He deserved it.
"You're next, pumpkin," I called to the last vampire left standing in the room.
I crossed over to him and he managed to block my first two blows but then I smashed the blunt end of the rake into his face a few times and he was unconscious. I heard a groan and turned on my heel.
"And that brings us back to you, Boydie-Boo!" I cheered, stepping on the paralyzed vamp's hand as I passed him. I leaned over Boyd who was still on the ground, gasping for air. "Hello, sweetie. How are we today?"
All Boyd did was gasp and choke, he couldn't speak as his vocal cords had been stepped on.
"Aw! Did you get a boo-boo?" I pouted at him.
Then I grabbed Boyd by the throat at lifted him into the air. He struggled against my grasp but could do nothing. He couldn't even beg.
"What's wrong, sweetheart? Can't you scream for me?"
He shook his head and spat at me. So, I threw him into a wall. Boyd fought to stand, using the wall to stagger upright.
"Come on, Boyd! Fight! Are you going to let yourself be beaten by a girl?!" I taunted him and pulled on the fear that was already constricting his mind. Revenge felt so good.
"You-you're not a girl," He panted, "You're a monster!"
I hummed, tapping my chin with my finger.
"I guess history will have to be the judge of that, now won't it, buddy-Boyd?" I dragged my rake along the ground, though all the blood of his friends. There was a wonderful metallic grating noise as the prongs scrapped across the concrete.
"Please don't! Please! I'll do anything!" It felt good to hear him beg.
"Unfortunately," I continued, "I don't think you'll be around to plead your case!" I hefted the rake.
"No! PLEASE!"
"Bye-bye, Boydie-boo!"
I swung the rake upward with all my might and with a sickening crunch I rammed its prongs up through his jaw. I said I wanted him to suffer. Pulling him by the prongs in his face I brought his screaming form over to the tractor sitting at the back of the room. I rammed the shaft of the rake through two spokes of one of the tractor's wheels. All it took was the flip of a leaver to send the wheels spinning.
Turn, turn, turn and scream, scream, scream, then a nice snap, crackle, pop, and then suddenly, Boyd's head and body were two separate objects. I was very happy. Then, the random vamp I'd knocked out woke up and yanked on my hair, throwing me over his shoulder.
I tried to land on my feet but failed, tripping and stumbling backward. I landed on my back and scrambled to get up. As I did, I noticed the perfect white rose that Jack had given to me had fallen out of my hair. It lay on the ground in a pool of blood. Jack said it reminded him of me, of the way he saw me. Well, it wasn't innocent or perfect anymore. But neither was I, so I think it matched me better now.
The vamp rushed me and tackled me to the ground, pinning my arms to my sides as he snapped at me with his fangs out.
Bang... Bang!... CRASH!
The door burst open and light from the setting sun poured in, falling directly on the last vamp's face. He cried out and tried to scamper away, like a rat from a cat.
"It's about time! You guys are late to the party!" I shouted.
"Yeah, sorry!" Dean said from the doorway, "Who would've thought there were so many old sheds in this town!"
I didn't get a chance to reply.
I felt the air prickle and spark, charging with a tambour of power that I recognized but had yet to experience to this degree. I turned my head in time to see Jack, eyes glowing gold, passing by Dean with his hand outstretched. Golden waves of energy shot from his being with a sound like drumbeats from the depths of the sea. The waves caught the fleeing vampire and time around him slowed to a crawl. He was lifted into the air and revolved to face his reckoning. The Nephilim's lips tugged into a cruel grin as he saw the fear in the vampire's eyes.
Suddenly, the pulses of energy stopped and the vampire was flung towards Jack, landing face-first in the dirt at the boy angel's feet. Jack knelt down, his expression seeming to consider the trembling, pathetic thing in front of him.
"P-please!" The monster managed to choke out. "Mercy!"
Jack looked up at me, his eyes soaking in my bloodied face. Apparently, that was all it took. Jack's eyes hardened and he turned back to the vamp.
"You. Hurt. My. Friend."
Jack grabbed the vampire's head in his hands and started to squeeze. The vamp screamed as the pressure increased until his skull just couldn't take it anymore. There was a crunch and a wet sucking noise as the vamp's head collapsed in on itself. I liked that sound.
"That dude's still alive," I said, casually jabbing my thumb at the red-haired vamp I had paralyzed. Jack turned to where I had pointed, ready to squeeze another brain out of its shell.
"Jack!" Cas called from behind him. "No!"
The Nephilim scowled at Castiel and I admired the rage I saw in his eyes. This wasn't my Jack but I liked this version just as much. No, Jack wasn't human, was he? He was more like me than I'd thought. Jack snapped his fingers and the red-haired vamp crumbled into dust. The sight was actually sort of pretty.
When Jack turned to look at me his eyes were completely soft and full of concern. There was my Jack.
"Are you afraid of me now?" He asked in a whisper.
"No," I replied flatly, shrugging my shoulders, "Why would I be?"
"I killed them." Jack hung his head. "Right in front of you."
"Am I supposed to care?" I smirked, hoping my voice didn't sound as harsh as I thought it did. I was just barely beginning to come off my rage-induced high. Jack eyed me with confusion and relief.
"You're hurt," He observed, moving over to me.
"Me? Nah! This is nothing." I gestured at the bodies scattered around the shed. "You should see the other guys!"
"Stay still." Jack placed his soft, gentle, hands on my face to examine my injuries and I felt a warm tingling as he healed them. "There. I fixed you." He whispered. It was more to himself than anything but I still heard it. It made me laugh on the inside.
Yeah, no. Nothing could fix me. I was broken beyond repair. It was my insanity that held me together. Does that sound like the sort of thing that can be fixed?
"Thanks, Jack-Jack!" I chirped, smiling brightly at him.
"You're welcome, Marty," He said quietly. Jack's eyes flicked down, focusing on my lips like he wanted something but wasn't sure how to ask.
"Um, M-Marty?" Sam's voice broke whatever spell the two of us had been under and I glanced over to him.
"Yeah?"
"Did you, uh," Sam pointed to the carnage surrounding us, watching me with weary eyes. "Did you do this?"
I shrugged, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder at the tractor. "Yeah, mostly. But the tractor helped."
"I'm guessing the tractor did that?" Dean pointed to Boyd's head with its jaw still run through with the prongs of the rake. I walked calmly over to the severed head, grasping it by the hair and pulling it off the prongs before returning with it back to the boys. Sam, Dean, and Cas all stared at me with eyes as wide as quarters as held up the head.
"Dean, this is Boyd," I said, keeping my tone as sweet as possible.
"Huh."
"Say hi to Boyd."
"Uh...Hey, Boyd..."
"Good." I grinned as if I was holding a puppy instead of a severed head. "Now let me tell you about Boyd. Boyd liked touching things that didn't belong to him. He worked for Felix and Felix liked hearing little girls scream and cry. So did Boyd. Boyd was very good at making little girls scream and cry, little girls like me. Weren't you Boyd?" I asked the mutilated cranium in my hand. I moved the severed head up and down in an enthusiastic nod, holding it by the hair as if it was a marionet.
"You were very good, yes you were!" I cheered. Then, like the flip of coin, I snapped my focus back to the Winchesters, wiping my face and tone clean of all emotion.
"So, I used a tractor to rip his head off because he deserved it and now he won't ever make another little girl cry ever again. Right, Boyd?" I asked the severed head. I grabbed the head's bloody, splintered jaw and clacked it's teeth together like you would a ventriloquist dummy. "You bet your britches!" I made the head answer, mimicking Boyd's voice.
"D-did he-" Sam stuttered. I flicked my gaze back to him, allowing all three to see the harshness in my eyes.
"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is probably yes."
"Marty?"
I turned to Dean. "What?"
"Put the head down."
I dropped Boyd's severed head.
"Come here." The hunter opened his arms and I faked a sob before accepting the hug. "You weren't gonna tell us about that, were you?" I shook my head. "It's okay, sweetheart. You're safe now."
"Thank you for not throwing me away, Dean," I said softly. The elder Winchester chuckled.
"Don't thank me, Marty. After all, how could we throw away someone so Bad-Ass?"
"Am I awesome now?" I asked.
"You were always awesome."
I laughed and the Winchesters trusted me more than ever. Their mistake.
"Dean, that one's moving," Castiel called our attention over to Elwyn, who was just waking up.
Jack was quick to react, sending a golden blast of power to throw her against the wall where he kept her pinned.
"Wait! Wait!" She cried, "I didn' 'urt Mardina! I swear!"
"Do you work for Felix?" Dean interrogated, pushing me behind him.
"He's my fah'der but I'm not like him! I want du 'elp her! I jus a messenger!"
"Whaddia say, Sammy? Should we shoot the messenger?" Dean asked, keeping his cold eyes on Elwyn.
"No! Please!" Elwyn begged, tears slipping down her face. "I didn' 'urt her!"
"You know, if we shoot the messenger, Dean, it sends one Hell of a message." Like his brother, Sam could turn on the killer inside him like a switch.
"Felix is in Floree'ida, okay? Dat's all I know, I swear!" And it was all she knew because Elwyn had never had a backbone. There was no strength in her.
"Guess its up to you, Marty," Dean said, turning to me. Elwyn looked at me with wide pleading eyes. I regarded her with ice in my own. No second chances. Monsters don't get second chances, I know I never did. I knew I never would.
"I'm your friend, Mardina! Tell dem I'm your friend!" She pleaded. I shook my head.
"You only cared about me when Felix wasn't looking." I was almost shocked by how apathetic and passionless my voice sounded. I watched her without compassion. "You were never my friend."
"No!" Elwyn screeched, "No! I 'elped you! I 'elped you when dey beat you!"
"But you never tried to stop them."
"What?! No!" She sobbed. I smiled at her slightly.
"Go tell Madra I'm sorry."
I sent Jack a nod and with a snap of his fingers, Elwyn was nothing more than flecks of grey drifting to the ground.
Turning around with a sigh, I could feel the eyes of the four others as I bent down and scooped up the rose Jack had given me. I cradled the precious flower in my hands, watching as the blood dripped from its petals in big heavy gobs. It had been perfect once. It wasn't perfect anymore. It would never be perfect again. Or perhaps it could be, just not the right way. Because the blood was oddly beautiful with the way it stained the petals and pooled in the center of the rose.
"I can get you another one," Jack spoke up, "And I'll pay for it this time!"
I turned back to him, smiling down at my little rose.
"No, its okay, Jack. It's a crooked kind of perfect. I think I like it better now."
~All the pretty girls, they find
A way to keep you on my mind
I swear I heard you singing along
Cities pass like candy stores
And you're the one
I'm looking for
And so
I'm just a boy
Who's telling a girl
That when I grow up I'll buy you a rose
When I grow up, I'll buy you a rose~
Lyrics from: Buy You A Rose by AJR
(Author's Note: You may or may not have figured it out by now, but Martina Imogene Linville is insane. MARTY IS NOT THE HERO OF THIS STORY. SHE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. Marty also had Borderline Personality Disorder before she went insane. So, even at her most stable points in this story, she is not to be trusted. Remember, she manipulates peoples emotions. She makes them feel what she wants them to feel. Any other character's actions may or may not actually be their own. Please keep this in mind going forward.)
#jack kline x oc#jack kline#jack kline fanfiction#jack kline x reader#spn#spn fanfiction#superntural#supernatural fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#castiel#alexander calvert#alex calvert#jensen ackles#jared padalecki#jack is baby#the writing gets better#jack kline humor#jack kline fluff#fluff#my name is cas and i write stuff#fanfic#thanks for reading#have a nice day#misha collins#16 and up#16+
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Hey! I was wondering if you could help me out a bit? I'm about to post a one shot, as I was wondering what I put st the top other then how many words and such? I'm just beginning to actually post stories and I want to get things right haha. Sorry if I'm disturbing you or anything!
Oh lovely @spookyphsyco - you have come to the right type-A advice-giver. And you have graciously made this about me, so that I don’t have to. [wink]
Legit apologias if any of what’s below the cut seems patronizing. I’ve tried to inject snark to make it an easier read. I also say sh*t, possibly other blah-blah of a potty-mouthed nature.
Short version:
Status: Word Count: Category: Rating: Character(s): Pairing(s):Warnings: Author’s Note(s):Overall Summary:
Essentially I put what I like to see, with ever-so-slight, atypical tweaks. Long version/breakdown is after the jump. The ones with stars I think should be exactly where I put them, with the others shuffled however you’d prefer.
* Status:
Complete
Part ___ of ____
for multi-parts (a.k.a., a mini-series)
IMO, the ones around 2 or 3 parts; for me, it’s treading on “series” territory after 3
I just stick a ____ after “of” til I’m sure about how many parts
In-Progress
could stick this after “part __ of ___” thought I find that redundant - this is definitely to be used for series, and which part you’re on should’ve already been noted above, a la “Title: Part __”
* Word Count:
I just round up the decimal point if it’s close to/over halfway to the next number, so…. 3,422 could be ”3.4K” or “3.5K”, whatever you like
If you put 3,422 it scares the shit out of people, even though that’ll maybe take 15 minutes to read. Maybe.
* Category:
A.K.A. - what’s the genre?
The top ones you’ll see are “angst”, “fluff”, “smut”, “crack”, “real person fic/RP/RPF” - confusingly, I also see RPF = “role play fic - advise just type out “real person” and “role play”
I also see “series”, which, whatever - I’d prefer knowing that right off the bat at a glance, hence “status”, that’s up to your pref
I mostly see Category kick off with either that, or something indicating what’s to come in terms of the life expectancy of your story line, followed with the above genres
Others by life expectancy would/could include:
drabble
imagine
request/”ask”
head canon
Side note: “cannon” = big boom, artillery-style; “canon” is short for canonical, a.k.a. - the official last word on fill-in-the-blank, so for us - the scripts/what we see on the show, Kripke, the writers, the actors, etc.
multi-part
one-shot
alternate universe/AU (which could branch into “AU: Historical”, “AU: Fantasy, “AU: Science Fiction”, etc.)
cross-over
Now, if it’s a cross-over that I want to be a surprise? I don’t mention the title of the movie/book/show If it doesn’t matter? Stick it in the Category (so “Crossover: Brooklyn 99″) plus it’ll also be made clear via the Character(s) category by listing them after the SPN peeps & before the O.C.
I personally don’t use those main five (see above, RE: anal-retentive stubborn mule) as they are too vague for my taste.
When peeps pass my stuff along or in the rare instances they put me on a rec list, I couldn’t care less when they whip me under one of those or tag it as such, because that’s common parlance that I’m willfully eschewing. I sleep just fine on my fanfic pillow at night.
I use words like “behind-the-scenes canon-compliant”, “mystery”, “introspective”, “melancholia”, “friends-maybe-more”, “family”, “canon-compliant”, “friendship”, “adventure”, “humor”, “parody”, “spoof” - all [IMO] give a clearer idea without spoiling the plot
Special Nash Note regarding a specific pet peeve of mine that you can certainly take or leave, I won’t adore you any less:
Regarding Real Person Fic - the authors who disclaimer the tar out of these Wear. Me. Out. Just own it if you’re gonna do it, no caveats. I more-than-snark/borderline ranted about this here - surprisingly succinctly - should you want to see why
Take home: I find being really specific in your category helps keep your warnings/author’s notes blessedly tight & trimmed, more on that below.
Rating:
On this, I essentially use what I see around town, which is “Any”, “Teen & Up” and “18+” - or variations on this.
Nine outta ten, I’m going with “Teen & Up”, because I most always have dense, meaty plots or dry humor that require a fairly well-read person - I’m not being an asshole, it’s for their benefit. They’ll find it boring and/or too complex, it’s not their fault, they just haven’t had enough years on the planet to knock out a lot of books, y’know?
Character(s):
I list the not-mines first, and shut it down after maybe three or four, then cap it off with O.C. mention(s)
Sometimes I’ll do a parenthetical - like “Castiel (mentioned)” or “Crowley (briefly)” - because some people hate certain characters but love you or love the plot in general, so if they know someone they don’t like is only gonna be there vaguely, they’ll likely still give it a go
If there’s more - the minor not-yours or minor O.C.s - just put “various” at the end & and move on
Also nice on multi-parters/series for you to only list the characters that appear in that specific post
I phrase the primary O.C.(s) like: “Female O.C./Reader/You”, something of that ilk.
Negates the need for “Reader Insert” in the categorization, because… well, it’s not how books are arranged online or in stores or in libraries. Perspectives [1st/2nd/3rd] are just that - perspectives - they aren’t genres.
Pairing(s):
N/A if none, of course
This is one I am completely leaving up to you.
Having said that - dig through other folks’, see what tickles your fancy.
If you dig through mine - I think one I straight up said “Sam x Reader/Female O.C.” because it was an Ask, so the end result was pretty much out there, and on another I put something cheeky like “Endings are better when you don’t know what’s coming.”
And really, aren’t they? Lookit, I figure if back on your Master Page/Master Post, you’re gonna end up categorizing them by “Angst” with sub-cats a la “Dean x Reader”, etc., may as well blow your wad from the get-go.
Also remember this is coming from someone who keeps their O.C.s as vague as possible, so that anyone can imagine themselves in the character’s shoes. That’s for reader satisfaction.
The selfish reason is because I want “Y/N” to die in a horrific fire where it is alive for >65% of the charring. It is so distracting. I’ve now digressed, tangent-style.
Warnings:
Writing detailed canon? Or an AU that’s cribbing on canon? Whip a little “Spoilers up to Season _″ or what-have-you right out of the gate.
Otherwise…. okay, biggest over-arching tip:
Things either ARE or they ARE NOT - refrain from going down a huge explanatory road here, a la “Could be considered this, but also could be looked at as that, and there’s sometimes….”
Oh. Sweet. Lord. Bring the chariots & take me now.
There’s a word for this, and it is “dubious”.
So: “dubious non-consensual situation(s)”; “dubious incestual situation(s)”; etc.
It’s the formal way of saying “YMMV”, a.k.a. “Your Mileage May Vary”. I am likely not going to read into the threat of fill-in-the-blank if I’ve not experienced fill-in-the-blank. That’s why it is an “in the eye of the beholder” sort of jam - it’s open to interpretation….
…..but you gotta make sure it is - if Dean and Sam kiss each other with tongue, even once? That is incest. Not dubious. Nope.
If there’s stuff possibly of concern that you’re not balls-out detailing, the tidy word for that is “allusion”.
So: “allusion to past sexual trauma”; “allusion to past physical assault”; “allusion to sexual encounters”,etc.
On that last one: again, meaning off-handed comments about rolls-in-the-hay, not anything specific with vivid detailing.
Might want to tack “eventual” in front of these in certain circumstances - more on that in a sec.
(PS: Writing tip? Shit in the past that made the characters who they are? Leave it there. Allude to it. Unless it is actually happening, no one caaaaaares - we only care about any ripple effects potentially impacting the current story.)
Language - again, things either ARE or they ARE NOT.
I don’t care if it’s twice or every-other-piece-of-dialogue, or only in a couple of chapters - “mature language” or “coarse language”. Boom. You’re done. Covers cursing and dirty talk and the lot.
Sexy Times - yeah, it may say “smut” under your category/genre, but it doesn’t hurt to toss a clarification or two
Some folks consider smut “he touched me here” and some folks don’t consider it smut til “he ran his tongue here”.
I’d go with “graphic sex” or “explicit sex” if you have any wavering on the issue of what to put. But, again: it either is, or it isn’t - if it’s not allusion, then it’s graphic/explicit
Some folks tack on really, really, really specific facets here, where I think a parenthetical would do, and one that covers a gamut, so:
Graphic Sex (anal) this covers digital penetration & toys
Graphic Sex (multiple partners) this covers three-ways and four-ways and… and…. and….
Graphic Sex (kinks) this covers role-playing and toys and voyeurism and… and… and…
Side note: I have noticed that dog-in-heat genre - A/B/O, right? - is listed separately from kinks. Not my jam, so ya got me, I ain’t your gal to consult on this area
I’m not going on - you catch my drift. People who list every type of toy and kink baffle me. Cover the spread, move on, you can always put an asterisk and stick it below the “read more” to be as specific as you like.
I say this because if a person’s not into “toys” in general? Why on earth would they read on after that warning above. Also plays into my whole “stories are often better when you don’t know the end” stance. Because they are, dagnabbit.
Some folks tack on “unprotected sex”, and fine, okay. Would suggest that if you want to add on some sort of advisement of “don’t do that”, “glove up”, “be safe” and what not, you whip an asterisk on there - “unprotected sex*” - and stick it in an Author’s Note post-story, more on those in a sec.
Violence - go with “graphic violence” and “mild-to-moderate violence”
The latter implies TV-level gore/horror, and the former implies movie/cable TV-level.
If you want, you could quantify it that way - like “show-level violence” or “movie-level violence” (if doing Avengers or Star Trek or whatnot)
Side note: if you’re going for no-holds-barred, Ash Vs. Evil Dead-level action? Go on & stick “horror” in your category/genre, methinks
Character Death / Major Character Death
I have never understood this as a warning, seek advisement from someone else on this point. Legit.
That is a major plot point. Why in this world people would want to spoil themselves on major plot points is beyond me.
Besides, can we stop treating readers like infants? You’ve given an age range/rating. You’ve said there’s violence. You’ve categorized it as angst (or “sorrow” or “mourning” or WHATEVER) and that paints the picture for me, an over-18 adult, one who has heeded the violence and sorrow alerts and has chosen to proceed. YMMV. Nash don’t get it. I’ve gone all tangent-y again.
Warnings, Part Two - Stories With Two Or More Parts:
So let’s say there’s a kidnap-and-ransom that involves the villain making a threat of raping the captive. But it happens in Chapter Five.
That “allusion to non-consensual situation” is, of course, told to the reader up front, and here’s the times when you may wanna tack “eventual” on it.
Then have an “Additional Warnings” or “Chapter Warnings” section on just this chapter post. They chose to read the thing after seeing that broad warning, I know, but it’s still nice to warn them so they aren’t reading it on lunch break at the office or something.
Side note: when doing multi-parters/series, just copy/paste all this stuff on top of each post, then tuck this “extra” note below the overall warning items
Author’s Note(s):
N/A
Use this liberally. There should not be a ton to say after you’ve done all that’s above.
The exception here - as in, a “regular appearance” kind of Author’s Note since it doesn’t really fit anywhere else, is an acknowledgment of any editor(s) who may have assisted.
Another to file under “common parlance” - they are called “Beta(s)”/”Beta Reader(s)” around here, even though technically a beta would be someone who’d be your first reader of the final product, post-edit, and pre-publish. [shrugs]
Advise you not wax poetic on their awesomeness - takes up too much space - do your gushing privately, no one cares about your excited feels for that person [sorry-not-sorry]
Plus it’s kind’ve bizarre - for me, at least - to see effusive praise heaped upon an editor should I read on and find myriad mistakes I’d naturally assume they missed, which brings me to an example of another unneeded note….
…the one post-beta acknowledgment that goes “…so any mistakes below are all mine”. ???? What, so you had ‘em do all that for you, followed by ignoring the errors they pointed out? Error’s an error. I suspect they mean not altering verbiage or flow or a suggestion of that ilk, but still. Just acknowledge them by their “@” and move on. I digressed.
Regarding challenges - and this is a “Nash Thing” - I advise you don’t put the challenge info here, above the story.
All it does it lengthen your top note and keep people from the story once they’ve decided to read. I actually went back & re-formatted for this on a lot of my stuff because it made the top part way too long.
I suggest you put “Author’s Note(s):Post-Story” and lay it out there - the challenge name, whose challenge it is and the prompt. Why?
If you tell readers the prompt - and another “Nash Thing” is that I don’t bold mine - they will subconsciously be on the lookout for it, which takes away the point of the challenge - to seamlessly integrate a random thing
Other “post-story” can be any inspiration you may’ve used - like songs or the details on a cross-over piece.
For cross-overs, this is a nice place to do a little “Various characters/settings used, verbiage style and minor plot points inspired by Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer”.
Plus, you can put links to vid clips or pics of the cast or links to the song or c&p lyrics of the song - whatever. Point is, it doesn’t take up story space so readers can pass it by if they so choose
* Overall Summary:
My preference is that this is the last thing I see before I start the story, because I’ve seen all the details above, I’m almost sold, and this is what’s going to get me to scroll. Well, initially. First-scroll page-closers are another topic.
“idk, i’m not good at these/i suck at these/omg these are so hard/i can’t really say” – No, no, no, you said plenty. You just told me you write garbage & that I shouldn’t waste my time.
Sometimes these will be a handful of sentences, and I’ve found that when I’m being cheeky on a parody/humorous story, that’s when they tend to be longer - mainly because I’m really trying to drive home that this is not merely “fluff” or “crack”. It’s what I said it was in “Category” - it’s “humor” and/or “parody”.
Normally: one-to-two short-ish sentences or three quick sentences.
No really.
No, really. I don’t care how long the story is.
Now, the novel-length ones? Maaaaybe a quickie paragraph of, say,4-to-5 brief - BRIEF - sentences for the umbrella. Then - like we were talking about with the chapter specific warnings? - you can delete the “overall” summary or tack on underneath a sentence about the chapter below IF something pertinent should be noted/you’d want to know it if you were the reader.
Am I an asshole if I put examples of mine? Eh. Here you go, and I stuck an example of an atypical A/N below, as well as what my longest looks like. The Mobile Master has pretty much the same descriptors as the story post itself, but none of the rest of this stuff - if the summation grabs ‘em, then they’ll click through for more of the scoop.
A Delicate Desiccation - they’re told about melancholy, but my stories had been out for awhile, so I *did* pop an atypical A/N (because it wasn’t really a warning, per se) on there to tell the regulars that this was a darker piece than they’d be used to; if I told more than I did in that summary - and shit, I give a big ass breadcrumb via the title card, not to mention the wording of the summary - it would wreck the ending.
Top of the World - novel-length, and readers get blips of a summary for each chapter (at least, on AO3, as FFnet doesn’t allow for it). The chapters average 10K. I did not come to play. It’s structured to read like you’re watching a season of behind-the-scenes-canon SPN, I’ve been clear I’m doing it in tandem with the active season(s), so I’m not gonna warn them “SPOILERS!” every chapter. I’m tired. I’m old. My fingers hurt, Spooks. My keyboard’s angry with me.
Hope this helps! Or at least didn’t give you a headache. You’re ahead of the game already, just by asking the question. I think you rock. And I’m always right about knowing these sorts of things about people.
So sayeth the Nash, so say we all.
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