#deals with some very heavy topics but in a way that leaves you thinking imo

[fangswbenefits]

My favourite k-drama of all time is probably SKY Castle. I remember finishing it and just feeling so empty. Highly recommend!

[orpheusilver]

care to elaborate on the miles venom arc?

YES okay so. the thing abt the symbiote is that (like any good corruption arc) it feeds on and amplifies the worst traits of a character, which is pretty straightforward in peters case - his biggest issue is his anger, usually manifesting via retribution (eg. "i missed the part where thats my problem", hunting down uncle bens killer), so his origin story is always the great power/great responsibility thing so he learns to temper that rage. what the symbiote does, practically, is force him to unlearn that foundational character arc and regress to his worst self

since the symbiote really really loves aggression peter parker is literally its dream guy but miles is a little more complex. hes definitely susceptible to that same anger (eg. wanting to "make kingpin pay", the entire sm2 martin li arc) but not as often and nowhere near as hardcore, so the peter playbook wont work as well for him (and also it would be fucking boring. weve seen that shit like 8 times already (not saying symbiote peter is boring i just think modern iterations need to explore new aspects to avoid treading the same ground constantly (sm2 does this very fucking well (also yuri lowenthal is a great va for peter like right up there with josh keaton (i think this many parentheses means im off topic (the adhd demon got me))))))

SO. whats miles' major issue he needs to overcome in his origin story? full disclosure i have not read the comics (but i heard they had some issues with his initial characterization anyway? which is fair enough tbh writing the successor to such an iconic guy is Fucking Hard) so TO ME PERSONALLY!! spider-verse miles is the definitive iteration of the guy and like. we all remember the whats up danger scene, his origin arc is overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in himself ("its a leap of faith", "youre on your way, just keep going") which, alongside social anxiety (eg. the itsv "everyone knows" scene, sm2 "are you mad at me? it sounds like youre mad at me" dialog), seems to be part of some general anxiety issues. this is pretty well supported by the recent "the spider within" short film (which funnily enough is very fucking reminiscent of some sequences in kravens last hunt, not relevant but kinda cool) which also shows how miles responds by self-isolating, similarly to ps5 miles when peter ignores him

the symbiote can exploit his self-doubt pretty easily, the inherent power boost will do most of the heavy lifting to make him feel like hes not good enough without it - what if he runs out of web at the worst moment? what if hes not strong or fast enough to save someone? what if hes caught mid-costume change because hes so used to the suit changing itself? the more valid the (inital) concerns the better imo

the social anxiety is a tricky one but i think if miles traps himself in a doom loop of self-isolation he might spiral into genuine paranoia, which combined w/ the patented symbiote rage could lead him to lash out at people around him. "everyone secretly hates me so im gonna avoid being around people" -> "i feel alienated from everyone i know so im gonna avoid them even harder" -> "am i 'okay'? why would you care? what are you playing at? fuck off and leave me alone" -> "nobody wants to interact w/ me so everyone who does must have ulterior motives and is therefore a threat to me/my family/my city" -> "im completely isolated but bad things are still happening so people must be conspiring against me w/o my knowledge" -> "literally everyone on earth is out to get me and i need to fight them about it"

from there i think the ideal conclusion is pretty self-evident - miles takes a metaphorical leap of faith (calling back to the lesson learned in his origin arc) by actively choosing to trust someone, reach out and ask for help w/ removing the symbiote and dealing with the contemporary big bad (potentially his local peter variant bc hes got experience w/ symbiote removal and it would tie into the "leap of faith" motif but idk)

so tldr: a miles symbiote arc would be different to peters arcs in some (very interesting) key ways - rather than unbridled aggression he could be characterized by intense anxiety, manifesting as paranoid self-isolation and a sense of dependence on the symbiote suit, and would end the arc by reaching out for help in a symbolic leap of faith

[otogariado]

Hey Sinaya! Seeing you talk about BrBa and BCS has definitely intrigued for a good while now and I have been considering watching a few episodes to see if I like it. However, the topic of cancer is A Lot for me and I was wondering how deep that is entertwined with both shows. I know that's why Walter decides to start making meth, so does it fade in time or is it constantly mentioned? Thanks! (you can answer publicly if u want for other ppl to know what to expect I don't personally mind :>)

i can answer this a bit more easily with BCS. in BCS, it's hardly mentioned—really only once very late in the show, and not super touched upon. (in a more script analysis way i think it was just want to illustrate a connection from the character who has it to walter + to illustrate another major character's "humanity" with how they react to this information.)

in BRBA it's mainly used more as a narrative device. in earlier episodes of the show walter is shown getting his diagnosis, and then later episodes show him getting treatment (chemo), and there's some talks about/relating his cancer, but it's mostly used to be the ticking time bomb element to the story.

(less vague/more spoilery/detailed kind of explanation below the cut, but i'll try not to spoil anything irrelevant)

cancer is usually brought up in three main ways in the show in relation to walter: 1) as the actual condition he's diagnosed with, 2) as a driving/motivational force for him, and 3) as, to quote someone else, a device that puts him in imminent death.

i've already mentioned #1 but they don't go much in detail with this aspect, i think. if your concern is about the more medical side of the experience, walter gets his diagnosis, and after he decides to get chemo, there's a few doctors' appointments here and there and some moments of him getting his treatment. but nothing too detailed nor medical procedures-heavy imo. 'course i'm not the best person to ask how much it hits close to home since i've not had to deal with it myself, but from what i've seen other people say it's like. the usual stuff where they've clearly paid enough attention but it's still not really a serious deep dive into what living with cancer or someone with cancer is like. the most we see of walter's struggle with it is his coughing fits, and some moments during the earlier episodes when he starts taking his treatment. (some people have commented on how unrealistic his energy levels are.)

and it's because it's treated more of a narrative device, like i said. #2 and i guess #3 too are the basic premise of the show—walter mentions his cancer multiple times in terms of how he's realized he's probably gonna die soon and HAS to figure out a way to make sure he doesn't leave his family with nothing when he does. there's more of a talk about walter's morality here than the cancer itself. (idk where to put this extra info but i wanna add that walter's cancer is put into remission and he no longer has a life sentence hanging over his head, at least for the moment, it becomes a way to illustrate how much walter is being driven by forces other than his need to provide for his family. aka his ego and shit.)

another important thing i have to mention is the way they "moralize" cancer in the show. ofc in real life anyone can be diagnosed with it and it has no bearing on whether or not a person is "bad" and "deserves" it. the show mostly doesn't try to moralize cancer, either. the only times it might come off like it does is when other characters around walt are being negatively affected by him and wish for him to just die already, or wish for "the cancer to come back". i don't think we're meant to take this as the show's thesis statement about how cancer is a punishment or something, since these remarks were made by characters in stressful, emotionally heightened situations. i don't think it happens often enough outside of this context to be treated like a core theme of the show. morality, like i mentioned, maybe. but themes about terminal illness being a sort of karmic punishment? nah, not really.

i hope this is helpful and clear and not just word vomit!

[puppy-phum]

pingxie thoughts (and prayers) pt. 3

hello friends and pals and random peepers! it’s been a while again, mostly bc i’ve ended up binging way too many other dramas instead of rewatching ultimate note. but now i’ve watched three more episodes and finally got to one of the scenes that actually made me start this whole damn thing! so please enjoy (or suffer, your pick)!

and ah, as a side note: am very grateful that they have removed the chinese subs from the episodes! expect a ton of new edits from me in the future ^^ 

Xiaoge and the meaning of food

This is a random tiny detail I’ve paid attention to bc of some personal stuff am not going to talk about. It’s just very interesting to watch Xiaoge doing normal, mundane things when he’s been so strictly honed into being something infinitely more. You don’t always come to think about the great Zhang Qiling and his relationship with something as natural as eating.

(placing under cut once again bc this got longer than expected!)

I am especially paying attention to two scenes in this (with a third one on the side as an extra): the moment in episode 9 where Xiaoge finds the extra food Wu Xie left for him, and then the scene in episode 11 where they have survived the night with the snake invasion. As an extra, I also consider the beginning scene of episode 11 where Xiaoge returns and Wu Xie very petulantly offers him the asked food. On all occasions there are some heavy meanings placed on food (and sharing it?), and as someone who always wonders about Xiaoge’s relationship with his own body, I came up with a couple of interesting thoughts.

First of all, I think the whole fandom knows and agrees on Xiaoge being very… dissociative when it comes to his own body. He has been brought up via pain and fighting, he has learned to trust in his own blood as a weapon, has become overly aware of his body’s every function bc he always has to know his condition, and while doing that, he has forgotten how his body feels. He has forgotten how it feels to want to be touched or his boundaries being respected, and bc of this, he has learned to treat his own body as an instrument for survival instead of something to be taken care of or valued.

And here, in walks Wu Xie. Young and naive and very, very physically affectionate Wu Xie (and Pangzi, let’s not forget our resident cuddler). You can see it in TLT1 and 2 when Wu Xie just keeps getting close to ppl and giving shoulder pats to everyone and having no issues with any of that. We see it in Ultimate Note when Wu Xie lets ppl to just cuddle him in his sleep (I keep saying he’s everyone’s chosen body pillow for a reason). The same thing continues in Reboot where we get possibly the cuddliest Wu Xie to date. But that’s not really the point here. The point is – Xiaoge doesn’t have boundaries. No one has ever allowed him to have those. For him, physical touch is mostly violent. No one really treats him as a friend and then we have Wu Xie.

But this post is not about physical touch bc at this point, that is pretty much established. Pingxie are very comfortable with touching each other (for as long as censorship is fine with it too) tho they don’t touch as often or as excessively as Wu Xie and Pangzi for example. For them it’s small bc Wu Xie knows that Xiaoge has never been allowed his boundaries (and especially in Ultimate Note he comes very aware of this after we learn about Ah Kun) and he doesn’t want to force Xiaoge into anything as long as he doesn’t know what he wants. So, physical touch aside, what else are we left with? Xiaoge taking care of himself. And more specifically: eating (bc Xiaoge’s blood obsession is another topic, and I guess we all are aware of his (and Wu Xie’s) issues with that and Xiaoge getting hurt in general).

So, in episode 9 we see this brief moment after Xiaoge has chased after the mud man (his acquaintance, Chen Wenjin) and Wu Xie and the others have inevitably moved on without him, where Xiaoge returns alone to their previous camp. He discovers his backpack and Wu Xie’s note which says: “Xiaoge, we’re off to look for Sanshu. The rainforest is dangerous. Be careful.”. Before reading the note, he’s gone through the supplies left for him. Chen Wenjin points out that there is extra food, and Xiaoge tells her instantly that Wu Xie left it for him. It is implied that it’s an occurring theme in their relationship: Wu Xie leaving Xiaoge some extra food.

From what I know of Asian cultures in general, sharing food, eating together, and making sure that your loved ones have eaten is a big thing. It’s not even limited to proper meals, continuing to simple things like snacks and drinks too. But then we put in the aspect of survival and food being a slowly dwindling resource. Here, Wu Xie has deliberately decided that Xiaoge needs this food more than he himself does. He has, in some sense, decided to go hungry in favor of Xiaoge. It’s like him saying, “Here, take this from mine. Because I know you get hungry too. Because I know you are human in that way too even if you tell me you’re fine.”

In relation to this, I wanted to bring in the “extra” scene I chose, the scene we see in the beginning of episode 11 (which is also probably all of our favorite silly Pingxie scene, right? At least I get a stupid smile on my face every time). In that, Wu Xie is following suspicious footprints to one of the tents. He is expecting a fight (Boy has a damn shovel! He’s ready to whoop ass!) and rushes in – only to find (a very muddy) Xiaoge looking for what other than food. Apparently, his stock has run dry. His only words to a furious Wu Xie are, “Food.” I don’t even blame Wu Xie for instantly melting at that, it’s so sincere.

I think about this scene a lot (for other things than Wu Xie’s adorable crumbled face as he shakes his tiny fists in fury). I wonder, how often does Xiaoge ask for food like this? Bc I somehow can’t believe that it’s often, knowing who he is. Maybe it’s a distraction technique against Wu Xie bc he knows that Wu Xie is worried about him, and what better way to make Wu Xie think about other things than to look miserable while attempting to get food? It’s working perfectly imo. Tho Wu Xie is still asking about things and Xiaoge refuses to answer bc well, he can’t stop Wu Xie from asking. But it’s somehow so funny to me that Xiaoge’s go to tactic for making amends is allowing Wu Xie to take care of him in this very simple and mundane way.

Then finally to the scene I based all of this around. This is a scene at the end-ish of episode 11 where the day has come again after their hellish night of fighting against snakes. Pingxie have crawled out of their shared and collapsed tent to see the mostly destroyed camp. They are eating porridge. Or Wu Xie is eating it bc here’s the deal: Xiaoge isn’t eating at all.

I dunno why on my first watch of Ultimate Note, this was the scene that totally broke me. I didn’t cry before this bc everything managed to be so light with all the humor but then I saw them sitting here and it just opened up a faucet. The moment Panzi asks if Xiaoge is alright (boy was poisoned during the night and Pangzi didn’t even know if Wu Xie succeeded at getting the serum to him, gosh the stress) and Xiaoge doesn’t really answer and then Wu Xie reaches out to squeeze his shoulder like he’s making sure – yeah. That was a lot to take in. Bc then Wu Xie says, “Have some porridge.” And Xiaoge nods and proceeds not to touch his plate.

What I gathered from my thoughts – once I was done sobbing that time and now, after watching this again – is that I’m not sure how often Xiaoge has forgotten to eat. He is going through stuff basically every day. He goes to places where eating isn’t always an option or even a possibility. He has learned to survive, yes, and he knows that food is a necessity for that but how often has he convinced himself that he doesn’t need that either? How often has he just not eaten, especially if there are others around? I must say that I think it’s quite often.

Because, think about it: even here, with his friends, after one hell of a night, he sits with a plate in his hands and doesn’t even touch the porridge on it. He acknowledges that he has food at all only after Wu Xie has told him to eat. Wu Xie looks so worried while saying that (and his shoulder squeeze before this seems like he’s noticing how skinny Xiaoge is). And I don’t really know how to put this into words but I just feel like Xiaoge needs guiding with his eating habits? He has eaten whatever or nothing at all for so long that it just. Isn’t a habit anymore. Food feels foreign to him. Enjoying food feels even more foreign. Regarding food as something he, too, needs, instead of allowing others to take it as they are more human than he is – that’s something he needs to learn again. And I dunno how it’s going but Wu Xie and Pangzi are doing their utmost best.

So, yeah. Food is a weird thing. I dunno how any of this really came out but my point is: Xiaoge has disconnected from his own body in so many ways and so deeply that even these basic human things sometimes feel foreign to him. And only in relation to Wu Xie (and Pangzi), he’s finally recognizing that. That is probably also why they work so well, why Wu Xie becomes so important to him. Why Wu Xie, as someone who tries to bring out Xiaoge’s humanity, works so well bc he’s so thorough in showing that. His attempts at convincing Xiaoge of him being human don’t stop at him trying to show that Xiaoge is a good man but go deeper, into these very basic, instinctual things like touch and rest and eating which Xiaoge has also forgotten bc he’s not been allowed to be.

[tams-writeblr]

The Cost of Knowing - Specific Questions

1. The book addresses issues of police brutality and racism, through the lens of a young Black boy.  Did seeing these issues through Alex’s eyes teach you something new? Or show you a new perspective?

They absolutely did! As I stated in my "General Questions"-post this book gave me a huge insight one the reality of Millions of PoC all over the world. It really made me, a white woman, think about so many things I never had to deal with. It's a sensible topic for me to call this eyes opening experience when we are surrounded by injustice and intolerance but for me it really sensitized me for the struggles PoC have to live with and it made me question my own way of dealing with injustice and prejudices.

2. How did you feel about the way the book linked the characters’ superpowers to their ancestry and heritage?

I wish this part was more elaborated in the book. It was narrated by Isaiah but not very well imo. I didn't really get why their ancestor got those powers and I don't really get why the brothers got rid of them they way they did. What brings us to the next question:

3. The book shows the main characters having to face their fears to rid themselves of their curse. What did you think of that message?

I think this is a kind of difficult message. Facing your fears can be very dangerous and in the end it did cost Isaiah's life. I don't want to say that you should never face your fears. It's an important part of growing up. Everything is scary when you are a teen, falling in love, falling out of love, the massive changes your body goes through, school, having to decide what to do after school, there are tons of things teens are right to be afraid of and all those mentioned before are in fact things that Alex is afraid of. And he handles them, some of them better than others (he tries to avoid having to deal with falling out of love for example) and those were also fears he could have stand up to while they weren't that dangerous. Facing your fears shouldn't mean doing anything reckless and dangerous (and while it isn't dangerous to visit a rap concert per se, it is reckless to go without telling your caretaker and talking your 12 yo brother with you) but be mature enough to face difficult situations without avoiding them and growing through getting through difficult times. As I think the curses are a metaphor for mental illnesses, getting rid of them though facing their worst fear is like dealing with this illness and regaining a stable mental health.

4. A major focus of the book is the relationship between Alex and Isaiah. Do you feel like the book depicted sibling/family relationships well?

I don't have siblings, so it's always a bit difficult for me to judge the relationship between them in media. But those I know that have siblings are either thick as thieves or totally estranged. Those that are totally estranged usually had a bad fight in the past or just aren't compatible personality wise. When I started reading the book I felt it was a bit strange that the brothers were that estranged while living under the same roof an having gone through the massive trauma of loosing their parents. I would have thought something like that would make you get closer (at least when you loose your parents as a kid, I know that many adults are having conflicts with their siblings after their parents died, you know 'cause of the finances...). I liked the conversation between Alex and Aunt Mackie, though it kind of felt like she was just now realizing something was off with her nephews. And that might very well be, I don't want to judge her, she's been dealing with some heavy sh*t those past years too, loosing her sister and suddenly having to care for two boys aside from what seems to be a successful career. It's just kind of sad that this family is kind of scattered into each member on their own until it's too late and they finally realize they should be there for each other and support each other. I also liked how the book deals with found family, Thalia's family is clearly more for Alex than just his girlfriend's family, he sees them as part of his family too and I think that's really cute.

5. Through Alex’s visions, we are shown snippets of later scenes in the book. How did knowing what would happen, affect your reaction to key events in the plot?

I want to be honest, I was hoping the whole read long that Isaiah wouldn't die. And I was honestly SURE he wouldn't. So I was really devastated when he did. Even during the hospital scene I was always waiting for the door to open and for Isaiah to walk into the room, totally unharmed. I was also surprised that the Thalia-incident happened so soon. It would have been totally okay for me to know that the incident happens somewhere in the future. Wouldn't it been nice for Alex too to be able to touch her without seeing further visions. I mean he would know, that him and her would eventually split up, but he could accept that and enjoy his time with her until then. I mean most high school sweethearts don't stay together until death do part us. So yeah, that was kind of a surprise too. And finally I can think about the vision were Alex sees a man buying the ice cream shop he works in. I love that he finds a ring that's the same as the man in his vision's. It leaves the book on a hopeful note that even an angsty black teenager can make headway.

Thank you for recommending this book @readerbookclub! It's been a pleasure reading it and answering your questions!

[toestalucia]

@convxction

it is father's day. talk about granpo's dad. anything you wanna. maybe drabble ? the sky is yo limit desu

heavy gbf spoilers for arc3 but ive,,,,been thinking about these facts since the reveal,,,,and been wanting to write it out but i dont find the WORDS so im just gonna,,,,,,,TALK

but this is gonna be more so about gran’s dad rather than gran’s feelings toward their dad etc.

gran’s dad was found by gran’s mom’s parents as an orphan/baby. he was just abandoned in front of the island’s forest shrine which is a mystery in itself but that’s how he came to zinkenstill & came to grow up with gran’s mom. it’s stated they were best friends from day 1 so i….assume it was somewhere around toddler-child age. later, mom’s parents had a second child, meaning gran has an aunt too.

shortly after (dad & mom are teenagers i assume when aunt was born, to fit in with every other info we have) the current antag comes to kidnap mom for her powers, fails, and kidnaps aunt instead. in this battle mom’s parents, gran’s grandparents, dies.

this is when dad(&mom) first goes on his journey, and where he meets rosetta&walfried&baragona etc, considering theyre all p young when travelling with dad (and walfried mentions mom being around too). somewhere between this (the end of it) journey & dad leaving for a second time, gran is born. atm we don’t know why dad (presumably) leaves for estalucia, because the kidnapped aunt they were trying to save was a failed mission.

what we do know is that dad doesn’t want the singularity role to exist again due to what it entails (but im also p sure he’s already aware of gran being the singularity even before he writes the letter, due to them feeling dad’s aura when falling down to an island with messed up time, while dad is leaving that island) & that dad told zinkenstill not to tell gran anything to keep them safe, not wanting them to go after the man who kidnapped aunt.

as we can see, that didnt matter at all. there was also raised concerns whether it really was dad who sent that letter, because if he wanted gran to stay safe, why would he encourage a journey to a place most ppl don’t believe exists? (again the time-mess on the island imo, dad KNOWS, but! it sure exists)

but gran’s dad also saw the ppl who cared for him die. and he saw aunt get kidnapped. and that’s an awful awakening to how evil the world can be. ofc the first ‘save aunt’ journey had more reasons due to ‘messengers of god’ stuff but. i do think there’s some misplaced over-protectiveness when he asks zinkenstill to not tell gran anything. i assume the trip where dad leaves gran behind has a bigger reason than just ‘wanted to travel’, and that since he personally couldn’t keep gran safe, he did it in the only other way he could think of. the very few gran & dad interaction we have seen in flashbacks are good moments, so i do think that at the time he just wanted to shield gran from the horrors of the world.

this ultimately backfires & gives gran 45 emotional issues instead & a huge scar across their chest, and i sincerely hope that dad is aware of this by now too. asking gran to go to estalucia is rude and a bad take after leaving them behind, but with how gbf currently is giving more stuff to the entire thing i…really do wonder what they gonna do with it. i wouldn’t be surprised if they actually went the ‘it’s not actually dad who sent the letter’ way, considering its already been addressed as a possibility.

gran’s dad DOES suck, but i can see where the ‘dont tell gran anything’ thinking is coming from. dealing with the ppl who cared for you as you grew up die is bad, and then going on a journey & seeing more of it & learning how the world works in such unfair ways (baragona’s entire family tree & what he does in gran’s time, both him & walfried (having to) joining the man who kidnapped aunt….its an ENTIRE other topic).

i think gran’s gonna struggle with this stuff a lot too. arc3 has alrdy been bad for them (they basically died again), and now they have to deal with the fact that their grandparents are gone, mom is mia, dad is at estalucia Hopefully, aunt is still with the Enemy (assumingly, gran doesn’t know that For Sure). and that they can’t fully trust the letter anymore. and know that dad tried to protect them in the worst possible way, there was way better ways to conceal the actual truth, they should’ve just settled with saying that gran’s grandparents died in sickness or something. lying is still bad ! but gran ! spent so much time asking for their real family !

honestly there’s a reason the found family trope doesn’t work with gran imo, and its cuz gran is so firmly aware that they didn’t grow up with a real family. it’s stated they always asked ‘how come i don’t have a real family’ to which everyone replied that the village is their family. gran’s not looking for something family-ish, gran’s looking for their actual family. so any conclusion of “ur real family is the grandcypher” just. doesnt sit right with me? because thats just not what gran’s after. gran knows these things (grandcypher, zinkenstill) are their family, but they’re not family.

also it’s bs the old lady explaining all this stuff call gran an ‘emotionally strong child’. they’re not. they were forced to be.

[evakuality]

For the meta stuff, how about what happened with the girls between the Chris and Sana phone call and driving up in the los losers van? And why didn’t they let her know, it was so painful to watch her on that bench.

Oh, man.  This is such a difficult one for me, because that phone call traumatized me so much that I stopped watching immediately after it and only know the rest of this stuff through gifs.  But I did just sit down and watch the episode now and I have a few thoughts (however, do bear in mind that this is literally the first time I’ve watched a lot of this and so I will inevitably have missed some things).  Thank you for asking!  This is definitely one of those ‘take me out of my comfort zone’ questions, and I had fun doing this one.

So, first, the background.  The girls have been openly discussing how dreadful they think it is when someone makes hate accounts against someone else.  They’re turning their backs firmly on Pepsi Max because of it, and they are denouncing Isak too because he has taken responsibility for the hate account Sana made.  Noora can’t understand why he would do something like that, but Eva is steadfast in her disgust and feeling that he ‘hasn’t changed’ - presumably since he ruined her relationship in first year.  Vilde, Noora and Eva leave and Sana tells Chris she’s the one that made the account, not Isak.  (as an aside, I love that she chooses Chris here for this because that was always her friendship of choice in s1 and I missed it dearly this season).  Chris advises that she shouldn’t confess, and should just let the hate against Isak subside, and Sana should carry on the way she is.  It seems like Sana agrees reluctantly because she only lets it out later because she texts Eva instead of Chris accidentally with that information.  Nothing is ever definitively said after this, but there’s a heavy implication that Eva (and by extension the other girls) all turn on Sana because of it.  Sana spends a few days trying to reach out and make things as right as she can and is left in despair as the girls refuse to engage with her, except Chris.

That brings us to the phone call.  This is all obviously designed to make us feel real worry for Sana and the future of this friendship.  Chris tells Sana that the other girls ‘don’t like you so much anymore’ because ‘they think you’ve changed.’  Of course, this devastates Sana as we’ve watched her struggles over the season and see why she’s acted the way she has.  There have been some inconsistencies in some bits, but overall, a feeling of alienation and distance has been the big driver of a lot of her actions.  That she is being alienated by this group is the worst thing that could happen to her (as shown in this very episode when she says she doesn’t feel a need to fit in anywhere, not Muslim, not Norwegian etc etc, but only with that band of ‘losers’).  So, this is the out-of-text reason why Sana needs to be alone and the girls need to not tell her they’re coming: the impact of their arrival is lessened if she (and we) knows about it in advance.  But, if we look at what was going on under the surface, there are reasons why they wouldn’t tell her in-text as well.  Those reasons may be flimsy in places, but they still make some logical sense.

First, Eva.  This is, I think, the biggest driver here in how long it took to get past the hurt and betrayal.  She’s the most adamant, the most angry over the whole hate account thing.  To get the girls to go to the bus meeting, Chris had to convince her, and it’s only been a day or so.  That’s not a lot of time to turn around someone who feels so angry and betrayed.  Not only did Sana make this hate account, but she also allowed Isak to be implicated in the fallout.  She sat at the table and let Eva shit all over him, and didn’t step forward when she had the chance.  Instead only ‘confessing’ when she sent a text to the wrong number.  Eva’s had enough betrayal and secrecy disrupting her life.  She’s not going to take this easily.

Noora and Vilde, I think, would probably take less convincing.  But they’re still not going to be happy.  Noora hated the idea of hate accounts almost as much as Eva, and Vilde of course was directly hurt by the fallout.  That Sana let that all happen, watched Vilde get so badly hurt and isak take the fall, and didn’t say anything?  That’s shitty.  And they all have justifiable reasons to be pissed at her right now.  So with all three, Chris has a hard job to do.  She promises to get them to the meeting, but that’s easier said than done just based on what went before and what they’re all feeling.

So, why do I keep saying this is Chris’s job?  That she has to convince them?  Well, that’s because I expect she’s taken this on herself from some feelings of guilt.  She’s the one who told Sana to keep it to herself.  She’s the one who implied Isak could just deal with the hate until it disappeared, and she’s the one who made Sana cry by telling her that her friends don’t really like her much anymore.  So, my best guess is that she promises to get the other girls to the meeting because she feels guilty about her part in this and also is the only one to really have heard and understood how upset Sana is about it.  At this point, she’s the one with the most invested in Sana and her happiness, so she tries to talk them around.  In amongst that, Sana has sent a message telling the girls she’s sorry, that she desperately wants their forgiveness and explains a little about why she had been the way she was.  It probably had an impact as well.  Chris can point to it and go ‘see!!  She’s sorry, she’s trying, she wants us!!’ etc etc.  

So, my best guess is that in the time between that phone call and the van appearing, first Chris had to convince the others that Sana deserved a second chance and to be allowed to apologize and move on.  And second, she has to get them agree that they should go to the meeting because Sana is already there and probably very much alone.  They already know that Sana has told Sara and apologized, and that she will probably go to that meeting because she feels a responsibility.  They also know Pepsi Max is not likely to be really sweet and lovely with her, and so she is likely to be having a terrible time with them.  I’m fairly sure that it took a lot of that time between the call and the bench to get them to the point where they were willing and able to accept Sana back into the fold, just because of how upsetting a lot of what she did was for them.  

The actual reunion is a little ‘big’ imo, overdone and unrealistic maybe, and would have made better sense if they had been ‘Sana you’re a goddam idiot, but we like you anyway, welcome back.’ But again, for the sake of the text, the big, emotional payoff was required and so we have this over the top moment.  But it is sweet and it does probably sum up the relief Sana would have felt.  So, even if it wasn’t really realistic in the way Skam usually is, it’s emotionally resonant and has the impact we, as the audience, need in order for us to feel the way Sana did when she saw them.

(please send me more asks about meta topics.  I have a few already and I’m working on them, but I’m always up for more.  Also, I was going to try to do these in order, but in honor of the script snippet from today, for the next one I’ll probably skip to the ask about the Eskild/Isak dynamic/meeting, but I promise I’m getting to them all!)

[darkpaladin]

Lisa Middelhauve Releases Statement on Xandria, the Band’s Mistakes, and Dianne van Giersbergen’s Departure

Lisa Middelhauve, vocalist of Xandria from 2000-2008, on Dianne van Giersbergen's exit from the band and a warning for the band to learn from its repeated mistakes. Text version under the cut.

Friday, September 15 2017 at 6:08 am CST Aaaand here we go.

The statement. Of Lisa Middelhauve. Concerning the newest „bad“ band in the scene.

Where to begin with? First of all: I have never been an innocent victim. Yes, „Xandria“ for a while ruined my dreams and therefore made me really, REALLY angry. But honestly, I have been a pain in the ass for the band the other way round. I am simply not the type of woman that will use her right to remain silent. I didn't remain silent. I vented – for years! - and then I forgot about the band.

But wait, who or what IS this band? Is it a sexist monster that feeds from virgin operatic singers? Is it the nasty dragon that imprisons divas in distress? Sorry to disappoint you: no.

XANDRIA is a bunch of disposable guys (plus one disposable lady). It is a group of individuals. It is 4 or 5 musicians, which means we are talking about at least 4 personal histories, egos, personalities and opinions. We are not talking about one big monster against one helpless princess (at a time). We are talking about a clash of egos, which leads to an obviously catastrophal miscommunication.

Ha, I can imagine your faces now! Lisa fucking Middelhauve doesn't take the chance to simply bash XANDRIA! Surprise! Well, I have to admit it: I really enjoyed the shitstorm. I am only human. I felt so hurt by this „monster“ that it was pure amusement I felt when reading some of the more creative insults. Popcorn, please!

But now some time has passed, let's breathe and think. In the following I will try to explain some things to you that most of you simply can't know.

1.) Never blame the management for the band's miscommunication. The management is not the boss of the band. The band is the boss of the management. A manager gets paid to make the band as successful as possible – BY the band. It is the management's job to keep the band working and to generate as many possibilities as possible (for example open business contacts, generate new markets and so on). This also means that a good manager will always try to make the band take as many of the generated opportunities as possible, even if bandmembers don't feel well. No matter which bandmember. Being mad at a management, because it only cares for the business aspect, is like being mad at a cook because he only cares for the food. They are simply doing their job.

2.) Of course, the pressure is high. I sang two of my worst shows when I was really ill and to proud to cancel. But also, my ex husband Nils Middelhauve entered the stage under very difficult circumstances several times, I know that the drummer (Gerit Lamm) suffered a bad BAD pain in the back for years – and entered the stage. Even Marco Heubaum (and I assure you, I totally don't like that little sausage) played on with bleeding fingers. Maybe you can compare this with a kind of competition. Who is the toughest motherfucker? „She never cancelled a show!“ is a compliment. „She cancelled a show!“ a reason to call her diva. What would you do?

3.) A singer gets all the attention. Boohoo guys, too bad for the rest of the band. But really this means that a singer doesn't only have the pressure to please the fans no matter what – it also means that she constantly has to proove the band that she doesn't think she's something „better“ or „more important“. This is true for both genders, male and female singers. Additionally a female singer has to proove she's everything: beautiful but Rock and Roll enough to not care about her outter appearance too much. Intelligent but not arrogant. Warm-hearted but mysterious. No little princess but also not manly. But those are general problems of society, not a XANDRIA-specific issue.

Of course, this story has two sides at least. How would you feel if you rehearsed until your finger bled, until your back felt like breaking for years and years and years and you carry around all that heavy stuff, you drive the band van, you contribute everything you can to the band – but you remain unnoticed? That singer bitch claps her hands only once and hundreds of fans bow just like that? Who does she think she is? I understand this. But maybe it would be a good start to ask her who she thinks she is. Most of us singers would probably answer: I want to be one of you, but they won't let me and you won't let me either. The microphone is a cold friend.

4.) Do I still think XANDRIA is a monster? No. I don't like Marco, because I simply cannot respect his ways to deal with people in general. Also I don't think he is a very original songwriter, and he likes to hide those who helped him bring some soul into the music from the public. I don't like the way that the other bandmembers always hated those ways, too, but never had the balls to really change anything. I don't like what this band turned me into. I didn't like myself anymore back then and it was a long way from Lisa, the XANDRIA-hating fury to Lisa, the who-the-fuck-is-XANDRIA mother of two. XANDRIA never was the monster that I saw in it. But, and folks this is important, members of the band – like any of us – are able to hurt, to exclude, to belittle, to insult or to disappoint other members of this band. Male or female. (I can assure you that my dear ex husband Nils Middelhauve is the opposite of female, and he left the band, too, but nobody is talking about him.) It's not a sexist problem.

5.) So what IS the damn problem then? The answer is: all of this. Singers who are told to shine, instrumentalists who feel little in their shadows, bandmembers who have the power to decide things and other bandmembers that don't feel represented by those decisions, and so on and so on. Short: the problem is EGOS. And when it comes to XANDRIA I think we're not talking about egos too big, but no, we are talking about many many many insecurities and hence wrong decisions and THE communicational problem of the century. Those guys are not evil. They are just not good at what they do (except for the musical part, which is, IMO nowadays pretty impressive). They were not good at dealing with the fury Lisa, the musical genius Kerstin, the heir of Tarja Manuela, the voice of reason Nils and now they failed dealing with the queen of hearts Dianne.

And now, what to make out of this? Has Lisa Middelhauve given you any interesting news? I bet not. None of this has ever been a secret. The information was there all the time. May I give you an advice?

Yes, in my eyes XANDRIA didn't act very wise in this actual situation. I am terribly sorry for Dianne and I think her decision to leave is the only right thing to do for her. I appreciate her statement and I have also read Manuelas very intelligent words on this topic. I have a different role to play in this. I have always – and will always – talk from my heart, as human as possible. They made a mistake. Maybe many mistakes. We, the ones who left, aren't free from fault either. We're all human beings. You have to understand that what you are just watching is something like a public divorce and most have decided that if mommy cries, daddy is a bad man. Frankly, this „daddy“ isn't the best husband on this planet, I can tell you. Nevertheless, you are the children in this image. You don't have to decide. You can follow Dianne AND the band. And Manuela and Kerstin and Nils if they decide to be active in music biz. I'm gonna raise my kids and I'm happy to listen to music and maybe to sing for my family. I understand that you are disappointed – so am I – and I am not asking you to take back your insults on the XANDRIA page. Who knows, maybe they learn something out of it. But now, let's all just... breathe. They made some mistakes. And me? Didn't I? And how about you?

Give them a chance to explain this, give them a chance to fix this. I am waiting curiously for the official XANDRIA statement. Who knows, maybe it opens new perspectives. And I really hope that most of you will be able to enjoy the music of XANDRIA in the future nevertheless. After all it somehow still is my grown-up child that's not living with me any more. It may be difficult, but it deserves to live.

Make of this what you want – this is all I can contribute to this for now.

Lisa Middelhauve (that will be Lisa Rodermund from next weeks Friday on, by the way)

ps: Oh and XANDRIA guys (I KNOW you're reading this!): I put my heavy weight in this to keep your show running. You're my dearest frienemies. BUT (!) don't make the same mistakes over and over again! If I'm asked again to write a statement about your next singer/bandmember leaving, I'll stay with the popcorn and let that ship sink, is that clear? Make the best out of it!