#deal with the mad scientist and quack jobs.

[long-bodyswap]

Happy Holiday Swaps

Stu and I had been talking about a vacation for some time now. It had been a couple of years since we had gone away, and the daily grind was really taking its toll on both of us. We were both always tired, and our schedules didn't allow for too much "together" time. It was making me depressed, and him grumpy. Even our sex life suffered. We barely saw each other on most days. He would get home after I went to sleep, and I would leave for work before he got up. It seemed that neither of us were ever in the mood anyway. Our lives seemed too dull for two twenty-somethings. With his waiter job my job at the department store, we really couldn't afford to go anywhere, but we really needed to get away. After rearranging our schedules and getting friends to cover for us, we were able to get 2 weeks off at the same time. We also managed to save a little money over the past year, but it would not be enough for a fun vacation to someplace like New York or San Francisco. A one-week stay at a hotel room alone would practically cost more that what we had saved. We decided that we needed to find some cheaper plan for a vacation.

One night after Stu got off of work, we decided to just sit down and look for the affordable vacation. We bought a few local newspapers and scoured the ads in the travel section and the classifieds. Heck, maybe we can find a courier flight to London or Paris, or maybe find someone who needs to have their Winnebago driven cross-country. We went through the ads. Nothing seemed very interesting. The courier flights were affordable, but none of the services could get us two seats on the same day to anywhere we wanted to go. Just when we thought that we wouldn't find anything, Stu spotted a tiny ad in the local gay rag. It read "Happy Holiday Swaps. Cheap vacations to anywhere in the US. Stay at someone else's house, and they stay in yours! NO HOTEL COSTS! Transport very affordable. Call for appointment. Gay friendly." We were both very excited. It was the perfect answer! We can swap apartments with someone and save on the hotel costs. Why didn't we think of this before? We both looked at each other with excitement but then I noticed that his face was slowly unwinding from his smile. "Yeah, but Rick, who would want to come here? This is the most boring town in the world," he said. "There must be people wanting to come here, I mean they DID put the ad in the local paper, didn't they? And plus, there is a small but thriving gay scene here. Maybe some people just want to get away from the big city," I answered optimistically. "Let me make an appointment to go down there tomorrow after work and see how much this whole thing costs, and whether or not we can get a trade to someplace fun. With that, we went to bed. We were so excited that neither of us could sleep... it was the best sex we had had in months.The directions that the man gave over the phone seemed unnecessarily complicated. Left turn here. Right turn there. Left turn here. Another left turn there. Couldn't he just give the address? I finally ended up in a small alley in the gay part of town. It was very unfamiliar and I was glad that he gave me such detailed directions. I didn't know half of these streets existed in the small city that we lived in.The storefront was tiny and kind of run-down. It did have an old world charm about it, so I opened the door. 

As I walked in, our friend Craig was excitedly hurrying out of the shop. He must have gotten a great vacation deal, since he didn't even stop to say "Hi."The man behind the desk looked up and said, "Hello! You must be Rick." He was a strangely handsome 40ish man. He had a pleasantly chipper demeanor, which was in contrast to his strong build and tattoos. His short salt and pepper hair was poorly groomed, in a way that reminded me of a mad-scientist. He had a very familiar look about him. "I'm Raymond Schenkel. I'll be your travel coordinator. You can call me Ray. So," he continues. "You want to have fabulous vacation?""Yeah, but we really don't have too much money to spend. We really want to go someplace fun." I said."Well, just fill out these forms. You said ‘we.' Are you planning to travel with your lover?" Ray asked."Yeah, his name is Stu." I replied."Oh, then you'll have to fill out a questionnaire for him as well. We have to make sure that we find the right match, you know," he said as he handed me a second set of papers. "So when do you plan to travel?" he asked."A week from tomorrow, and we'd like to stay for two weeks." I said."Hmmm. Two weeks might be hard to find. Most people only want one week at a time. Let me see what I have." He turned to his computer and started tapping away.As I was filling out the forms, I noticed that some of the questions were quite personal, like questions personal habits, personal hygiene, and social behavior. I guess all this was important if we were going to stay in someone else's house. In fact, I'd like to know myself that the people staying in our apartment would be clean."How much is this going to cost us?" I asked."We have a flat fee of $500 per person for a round trip." He replied.$500 didn't sound like such a good deal. Booking airfare ourselves online to our destination would cost less. But I guess it works out by not having to pay for a hotel room. Ray noticed my reaction at the price."Satisfaction guaranteed. If you're not happy, we will refund 100% your money. No questions asked." He said confidently.Comforted by that, I nodded and said, "OK" as I finished the forms."OK, then," he said smiling with a sense of accomplishment. 

"I've found some possible trades. Let me run the questionnaires through the computer to find the best matches." He said as I handed him the forms. He scanned the pages in and let the computer compute for a couple of seconds. "It looks like I don't have any two week trades starting next week, but I have two one week trades. I won't charge you for the transportation to the second one, since I couldn't find you a two week trade. The first one is to San Francisco for a week, and then the second one is to San Antonio.""Great! That's like having two vacations for the price of one! So how does this all work? Do we have to leave you with our keys? How do we get to.." I started with excitement."They way this works is somewhat... unconventional." He inturrupted, then pausing. I knew this whole situation was too good to be true. "You have to keep an open mind." He continued. "The way it's going to work is that you will actually trade places with another couple.""I realize that." I said, slightly annoyed. "That's how we save on hotel costs.""No," he interrupted, "you literally trade places. You and Stu will be swapping bodies with a couple in San Francisco. You and Stu will be in their bodies there, and they will be in your bodies here.""This is ridiculous. How stupid do you think I am?" I said. I got up to leave this Ray quack before things got out of hand."Rick, wait. I know how this must sound. Most people react the same way." He said. He pulled out his wallet and showed me his driver's license. It read, "Robert Walters.""So what?" I sneered, "You make fake I.D.s, too. Is that supposed to make me trust you better?" And then it dawned on me. 

The person standing in front of me looked Bobby Walters. He used to be the bouncer at Woody's Bar years ago. He kind of disappeared from the bar scene, saying that he found a much better gig."Bobby? Is this what you're doing these days? Running scams?" I said in disbelief."No. You see, I'm not Bobby. I'm Raymond, in Bobby's body. Your friend Bobby is working in our office in Minneapolis, in my body. The company let's the employees use the service for free among themselves. In fact, they encourage it." Ray explained.Now that I was thinking about it, it began to seem plausible. The man in front of me really didn't feel like Bobby, although he looked like Bobby. And that would explain why Craig didn't say hello. "So, the guy that was leaving as I walked in... he wasn't Craig?""That's a young fellow from the Philly, and he swapped with you friend Craig for a few days. I see that you're not quite convinced." Ray said."Well, you have to admit, this sounds really far fetched. I just need some definite proof. How do I know that you're not Bobby? How can I be sure you're just not some con artist?" I said."Well, let's see..." He thought about it for a moment. "I have a way to prove to you. I'll give you a demo. Let's go into the back," he said. I was a little skeptical, but I figured it couldn't hurt.We walked through the door at the back of the room into a much larger, clean and bright room with a lot of strange equipment. 

"Sit here." He directed me to a comfortable reclining chair. It was like a dentist's chair, but with a little more gear around the head area. He put a couple of electrodes on my temples and said, "Now just stay calm. It helps if you close your eyes." He sat in a similar chair across from me and pushed a bunch of buttons at the controls. I closed my eyes and waited for something to happen.I was beginning to feel foolish now since nothing was happening. For all I know, this Bobby or Ray or whoever he is could have just bailed while my eyes were closed. I was sitting there for almost a minute now and was getting really impatient. I heard Ray get up and walk over towards my chair. I opened my eyes and said, "What kind of fool do you think I..." 

Everything was blurry but was slowly coming into focus. To my complete surprise, I saw a handsome twenty something with short brown hair in front of me. I saw myself walking towards me! I looked down at my body as saw a muscular bar bouncer. "What the hell?" I said and noticed that my voice was coarse and low."Are you convinced yet?" Ray said in my voice. "Hey, Rick, you have really nice body," he continued as he was feeling his stomach and his chest. "Your guests will be very happy with the swap.""Wow! This is incredible! I'm actually in Bobby the Bouncer's body!" I got up out of the chair and immediately fell down."Whoa!" Ray said, helping me back onto the chair. "This is your first time swapping. You have to take a couple of minutes getting used to the new body. First, extend your left arm out in front of you."I did, but slowly. It felt like I was in a swimming pool or something."Now make a fist, and flex your arm," he directed.I did. I was a little shaky, like I had been drinking tons of coffee. But I finally brought my arm in. "This feels awesome." I said in wonderment."Your mind has to learn how to communicate with the new body. It only takes a coule of minutes" He explained. We did a few more exercises with the left arm, and then the right arm, and then some leg stretches. Everything was feeling more normal now and I was no longer shaky. "OK. Now slowly stand up."I got up and stretched. "Wow! This is just unbelievable!" I rubbed my chest and then looked at the tattoos on the arms. I pulled up my shirt to see a tight six-pack. Just beyond the waistline I could see my hard-on bulging under the jeans. This was so hot! I rubbed my penis and it grew even larger. I felt a little dirty, like I was doing violating Ray, or cheating on Stu or something, so I stopped. But I sure didn't want to. "I'm convinced!" I looked over at Ray to find him playing with his face in front of the mirror. I saw that he had a hard-on also, with my penis. "Does everyone who does this swap thing get so... excited?" I asked looking at his bulge."Well, most gay men do. Especially if the host body is cute." He winked at himself in the mirror. He started to rub his growing bulge and said to me, "Wow. Your body is so cute!" He undid his pants and took out his penis and started to jerk off."Hey wait a minute! What are you doing to me!" I screeched."Don't worry, Rick. I'm not doing anything to you. I'm doing it to your body, which you lent to me." He explained. "Ooh. This feels so good." He moaned. He was stroking his dick with one hand and rubbing his body with the other I watched Ray continue until he came. He shot cum all over the mirror."I had no idea how hot I looked doing that!" I said. I could feel my penis was now throbbing inside my jeans."You are allowed to freely do what you want in that body, just as the guest in your body can do what he wants." He said looking at my "excitement".I walked over to the mirror and unbuttoned my 501 jeans and pulled out an erect 8 inch penis. 

Watching myself as someone else in the mirror was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I watched myself as I started to stroke my penis. Ray walk over to lend me a hand. "No, don't." I said, "It would be too weird." I explained. I rubbed my face and ran my fingers through my hair, through Bobby's hair. I looked at my arms and my large hands wrapped around my penis. This was the most erotic experience I had ever had. The more I thought about it, the harder my penis got. The harder my penis got, the faster I stroked. I looked over at the mirror at my reflection, at the image of Bobby, and shot my load on top of Ray's.We cleaned up the mess we made and swapped back. We went back out to the front room and sat down."If you are interested, we can book the trip. It will take a day to confirm with the other office, and then we'll be all set." Ray said.I eagerly handed him my credit card and said, "Let's do it!""Great!" He ran the card through the machine and punched in a bunch of numbers into the computer and printed out a stack of pages. "Here is the contract and terms of use. Please read over this, as it covers what you can and cannot do in the host body, and what you will allow your guests to do in your bodies. Sign it and bring it with you on your date of travel. Needless to say, you don't need to pack anything. If you want, we can ship some things to the San Francisco office prior to your arrival."We shook hands and I happily went home unable to contain my excitement. I couldn't wait to tell Stu about our vacation.

[americanbackyard]

They Never Stay On Topic Do They?

One of the things I find truly amazing about people on the right or various Libertarians is their motivation to show that they have done research and that they know more than you about something and they want to teach you that you are wrong even if you never invited them to do so. Elsewhere online I put up a video and asked a simple question, wanting to know what people thought about it. And sure enough people sidetracked. I wasn’t surprised. I didn’t fight it because that’s not why I posted it. I trolled my own timeline to see what would happen. The result was what I expected but some of the information thrown at me was somewhat elaborate but unfortunately biased, incomplete, outdated, out of context, or simply inflated by right wing rumor mills.

Part of the information mentioned was about Hillary Clinton and her admiration for Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood. If you look up Sanger she is very controversial and it is hard to distinguish whether she was some kind of mad scientist, or someone who had no social boundaries, or maybe was a racist asshole, or maybe all of those things, but she died in 1966 and whatever she felt about people over half a century ago does not translate into the current organization. Not by a long shot. In fact what she suggested early on she acted on by creating a non-profit organization to help people, not hurt them. But they sure love to cram it down your throat that she is some genocidal maniac don’t they? It’s always Hilary, Hilary, Hilary, and how much worse she is than Trump. Nazi hugging Trump I should say. Then, they used Hillary Clinton’s comments regarding Robert Byrd to claim that Hilary was a KKK loving racist. We don’t know if Hilary Is a racist just as we don’t know anything about anyone that we don’t actually know. If there is one thing about famous people, it’s amazing how many people think they know them when they absolutely do NOT. I do know that the NAACP gave some commendation to Byrd for trying to atone for his work with the KKK earlier in his life. That says one helluva lot more than someone on the Internet trying to convince otherwise. But then again, why do any research past Limbaugh, Hannity, Jones, Beck, Shapiro, Coulter, or Lahren. And uptightie righties often try to say that perverts and racists should be forgiven because they atoned for their sins? Well, if they are white and running for office... But again my original post was about Obama slamming Trump and I asked people not to be sarcastic and not to be insulting and not to change the subject. My first two requests were honored but not the third because it’s always Hillary, Hillary, Hillary. It was claimed that Hilary made anti-sematic remarks but it was claimed referencing Wikileaks which honestly I don’t trust half the time. And look what happened to the founder of that… Hilary was also bashed for standing up for her husband which I would imagine many wives would do. But apparently that’s wrong. Which is kind of funny considering Trump and his marriages and his affairs. More cherry picking hypocrisy from the self-righteous I’m afraid. Ignorance truly is bliss.

It was claimed that Hillary Clinton helped destroy Libya. That’s kind of odd because I thought that Khadafi did that, as I think way back to those F-111 fighter-bombers that flew over the country and dropped a bunch of bombs for some reason long before Clinton had any power whatsoever. It’s hard to destroy a country that has been halfway there for decades but it’s easy to blame whoever is in office at the time you want to blame someone for something to try to prove something to someone else. Or something like that. Hell, some people just talk for the sake of talking. Makes you wonder who wasn’t listening when they were children. And then there was Benghazi and the emails. Again. Yeah, Benghazi. As if Hillary had propped the door open at the facility. And the emails. As if dozens and possibly hundreds of other politicians were using the same serve3r, which they were btw, and the owner of the server admitted on national television that it was partially their fault. For all the TV right wingnuts watch, they sure don’t watch the right channels. I was really surprised there was no mention of pizzagate. Oh yeah, that’s right, their little pizza porn story caused a shooting, and GOd forbid they should admit that guns are bad. Haiti Was mentioned of course but you really have to go do your own research on that to find out that it was hardly one person’s fault that things did not go the way they could’ve gone. But again let’s blame Hillary. Let’s always blame Hillary. That’s all these people do. 20% of American uranium was never sold to Russia. It simply was not. ONe can look it up anywhere to find the truth about the deal. Perhaps people don’t understand what they are reading and how it translates into business talk. Both sides admit that but not the talking heads that make money by telling you stupid things and getting you fired up and hoping that you won’t do real research. All this negativity is a simple product of our consumerism when it comes down to it. Everybody’s fired up on both sides but I dare say that too many on the right have completely failed to recognize what ethics are, what kind of standards we should all have, what kind of standards we should hold others to, and what it’s like to live a life of decency, and not make one up excluding others because you don’t want them in your yard, and pretending to be honorable when they are actually quite despicable.

The last few years have been a real eye-opener, where we have really been shown firsthand how many assholes there are in this country and also how many ill-informed people there are that may not be assholes but simply don’t know any better. I wonder if their parents are proud. Maybe they are just as shallow. Some of my European friends were right about America. I almost feel stupid for not believing them all these years. But they do what we do if we are smart, and recognize the good and try to be better people, and keep those that would destroy us in the name of hatred or immaturity or stupidity where they belong, back in the fringes. It might help them to remember where they came from.

I can say online that trump and The GOP are lousy examples to the young people in this country, but it doesn’t sink in. I can say that many of trump’s supporters who are angry with the system and blame Obama and Hillary are looking at the wrong ones to blame. They need to look to their mayors, council members, senators, representatives, and governors. But they don’t. They flock to their crooked leaders bullshit like rats to the river. I tried to explain that and it went whoosh, right over someone’s head. If one can’t recognize that the civil servants aren’t doing the jobs they were elected to do, than one likely wouldn’t recognize the maniac pretending to be president, who lost the popular election for a reason, as a worthless mistake who is causing more harm than good. And one will not be willing to admit their own mistake of supporting him. Hell, Sanger might have a point when it comes to trump fans. Whoops! Maybe not that drastic but trump fans will create more trump-like fans for the future generations to deal with. Who will likely blame Hillary for stuff they don’t like, i=even if it doesn’t affect them in the slightest.

I am seeing people who for many years I assumed might’ve shared similar compassion or ethics with me but now I’m finding that they don’t. If things had been quieter (without trump, imagine that) I never would’ve known and perhaps I would not be so disappointed but some of these people are being very vocal about their deficiencies of decency and that’s one of the biggest bummers of all. All I can ask is for the people who care to push the candidate against trump farther than the EC’s reach and end this utter bullshit regime. And at the same time shut down some of these qwerty quacks and put them in their place. Which is unfortunately right where their political party’s leaders want them...