#deadass reminds me of myself when i was in high school and learned hoe to shoot at night for the first time

[macey-wacey]

Not me watching Insomniacs After School and lowkey geeking out watching these kids discover the joys of nighttime photography

[thelifeofang]

the first semester of college is almost over and here is what i’ve learned:

1) leaving home is just as terrifying as it sounds like, but it is one of the best things i’ve ever done and one of the decisions i have ever made for myself; there is no need to feel guilty about leaving. in the beginning, i had felt a lot of guilt about deciding to go to school 9 hours away from home. at home, i’m a big part of everything functioning on a day to day basis. big sister duties cover everything from doing dishes to changing diapers to soothing my sister’s pre-teen meltdowns and everything in between, and i knew it was going to be hard for my mom to make the adjustment to not having me around. just a few weeks after i left my dad deployed to norway for 3 months, and i knew it was going to be even harder on my mom to manage a house, dog, and four kids all on her own, so naturally i felt really bad about leaving her to do it alone. what i’ve found in being away is that i have to learn to separate myself from the angelique i am at home and the angelique i am as an individual, on my own, and in my own space. being away from home has allowed me to grow like no other experience ever has, and i’ve been able to discover more parts of myself than i ever would have if i stayed home. family obligations are important, but at the end of the day it’s still time for my siblings to step up and fill my space, and leaving is not something to feel bad about. it allows for growth, new experiences, and new memories, and something like it’s important to give yourself the space to do those things. 

2) what you define as home can change, and that is okay. i’ve always defined san diego as home. it’s where i was raised and it’s the place i always come back to, so in that sense, it is home. but  when i’m in san diego, i refer to ‘home’ as san francisco. initially, i assumed it was because that’s just where i spent the most time, where my bed was, and where i was enrolled in school, but it’s a lot more than that. what i’ve learned is home is not just defined by being the place you were raised or where your family resides, but the place in which you feel the most like yourself, where you grow the most, and where your people are. san francisco has brought to me some of the best nights full of the hardest laughter, craziest stories, and most amazing souls i’ve ever met. i know this city like the back of my hand and whenever i leave it, i’m almost immediately ready to come back, no matter how much i complain when i’m there. it’s my home in that it’s where i’ve established myself as who i really want to be, it’s the place i look forward to being in literally every single day, and it’s where my people are. my god, i love my people here. home is where your heart is and my heart is in these people. bless them for making this place so fucking fantastic. 

3) don’t fucking procrastinate the goddamn essay, bitch. just do it. you’re going to hate yourself when you’re up at 3am writing a 5 page paper on something you had two weeks to do. 

4) communication is key -- prioritize it. one of the most important thing i’ve learned about relationships of any kind is just how important communication is. i’ve always known that it was important to voice your concerns, to make sure what you’re doing or saying isn’t hurting others, and so on. i’ve just always tended to feel annoying when checking in like that with others because i didn’t want to come across as needy, a complainer, or in need of validation. the thing is, it’s not really like that at all. it’s so important to let people know when what they do hurts or bothers you and to do the reverse to make sure you aren’t hurting others. it’s one hundred percent okay to vocalize how you’re feeling, what you are and aren’t comfortable with, and to check in with others about the same thing. the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the better your relationships are with others because everyone feels okay with talking. i’m really glad this is something i’ve picked up and learned to value a lot more, because i feel like it’s just really strengthened my relationships and made me feel so much more comfortable in vocalizing what i’m feeling or have to say.

5) i’m still shit at budgeting. i always say i’m going to do better, and then someone suggests ice cream or boba and i can’t say no. where the fuck is my self control? who knows. 

6) learn to be comfortable being alone. not every single moment has to be spent with other people. coming out of high school, i was used to constantly being with at least one other person and having someone keep me company while walking to classes, going to eat, and so on. this semester has taught me that it’s okay to be alone, it doesn’t make you look like a loser -- deadass no one cares --, and being by yourself teaches you a lot of independence. not everything has to be done with another person; you’re a big kid now and you got this bitch. 

7)  8ams aren’t for me. i mean, once i’m there i’m ready to do the damn thing and get my learning on and whatnot, but getting out of that bed in the morning is hard as hell. never doing that again.   

8) it’s okay if you fall out with friends from home. sometimes this is just inevitable, and sometimes it’s not even for any negative reason. everyone just gets busy and it can be hard to keep up with some people. those who are meant to stick will stick, but others might fall away and that’s okay. don’t beat yourself up about and don’t feel bad about. 

9)  the best people come to you naturally. the biggest thing i’ve learned about forming friendships in college is that when you talk to people with the clear intentions of trying to be friends, it doesn’t work out too well. it all feels too forced and awkward, and the conversation becomes shallow and superficial and it all falls away pretty quickly. the people who stick come to you naturally because, as they say, your vibe attracts your tribe. you’ll naturally just click and stick with people who have similar interests and energy to you, and the rest is history. 

10) tell your friends you appreciate them and show it often! your friends become your family so quickly. maybe it’s just because we’re all so far away from home, but friends in college become your support system, your go-to’s, and just your family away from your family pretty quickly. you spend every day with them considering you all practically live together, and you bond fast because of it. on top of that, there’s a big ‘we look out for each other’ type vibe with college friends in comparison to high school friendships. of course you have your hs friend’s backs, but it’s different in college. it’s more of a we make sure each other are safe when we go out, we look out for each other mentally/emotionally, and we take care of each other like family does because we’re all so far from our actual families. you do so much for each other, sometimes without even realizing, and it’s so important to remind them how much you appreciate them for all of it. 

11) keep condoms on you no matter what. pregnancy who? sti who? sorry, we don’t know them around here. 

12) you can go on dates just for fun, it doesn’t always have to become something! dates are really fun and so is meeting new people. you can go on a date with someone just for the fun of going out with someone and having a good time, there’s nothing wrong with that. it doesn’t make you a hoe or anything. just have fun and see what happens! you don’t always have to commit to someone. just don’t be a dick and lead someone on. if you’re just here for a good time and not a long time and you’re into the casual dating thing, make that shit known. 

13) there isn’t a place in the world that you can’t wear pajamas. that 8am? pajamas. grocery shopping? pajamas. ice cream run? pajamas. who’s gonna stop me? no one. 

14) pizza and alcohol? not a good idea unless you want to vomit. 

15) spontaneity is important and i love it. listen. i’m a whore for a good fucking adventure. my absolute favorite nights in the world have been the ones we don’t plan and just go out and see where the wind takes us. it’s the unplanned adventures that had me walking ten miles to krispy kreme at 3 am, running after a train at midnight two towns over, finding our favorite ice cream spot in the city, and getting to watch the sun set over the skyline. sure it might be hectic sometimes, but it always makes for the wildest adventures and the best stories. not everything has to be so planned and meticulous. let the city take you wherever it feels like taking you that day.