#dbh is so good guys. I love connor. like. an alarming amount.
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a human touch, part I
Part [1] / 1.5 /Â 2
(masterlist here)
pairing: taehyung x f!reader / word count: 13.3k / genre: robot!taehyung/virgin!reader, fluff, future smut (NSFW, 18+)
summary: everyone knows that androids donât think, or feel, or have emotions. theyâre not human, after all. so when a two hour session with a sex android ends up with nothing more than a nice conversation, you think thatâs the first and last time youâll see v.Â
then he turns up at your door.Â
warnings: talk of sex work (taehyung is a sex android), implied physical harassment (mentions of bruising), cursing/explicit language, mentions of alcohol, honestly this is a lot softer than these warnings would make you think I swear đ¤§
a/n: I started writing this fic like 2/3 months ago and then put it on hiatus bc god it was kicking my entire ass. but ya girl is finally back to working on it! itâll be two parts, because this fic is a big one! I hope to have the next chapter out next week/the week after (but no promises kdsflkfdfsdf) thank you @hobi-gifâ for loving this fic so wholeheartedly and supporting me while I struggled with it, queen shit ONLY. note: this is loosely a detroit: become human au but you donât have to be familiar with it at all!
Here are the three things you know about the Eden Club.
One: itâs a sex club. Everyone knows that. Besides, even if they didnât, all it would take is a single lookâthe soft blue lighting that shines out from the windows, the screens behind the glass that flash images of shifting and undulating bodies, the heavy beat of music that pulsates from the building and out into the night air; everything murmurs of the promised pleasures that are held within.Â
Two: itâs a sex club entirely staffed by androids. Androids make better lovers, according to the ads. They might look human but they donât have free will like you doâanything you ask for, youâre given without question or reproach. They canât say no to you. Theyâre entirely at your command.
Three: you donât ever want to go to the Eden Club. Itâs not that you have anything against androidsâbecause you donâtâbut you feel bad for the ones who are owned by the club, even if theyâre literally only built and programmed to serve humans. It just feels⌠wrong.
And hereâs the fourth thing youâve just learned about the club, much to your dismay: you are about to head inside it.
âWhen you said we were going to a club, I thought we were going dancing,â you whine. âI never would have come out if Iâd know you meant here.â
Youâve been staring up at the cursive pink neon sign for a while now, the looping letters of Eden Club shining out in the dark evening air, and you really, really wish you werenât here. Youâve dressed for a night of dancing and drinking and now you feel woefully uncomfortable, your high heels and short skirt almost as scandalous as the outfits the androids are wearing when they slide across the huge screens.
âThatâs why we didnât tell you which club it was.â Seulgi rolls her eyes and once again tries to tug you towards the building with the arm thatâs looped with your own. Just out of armâs reach, Irene holds your bag hostage. âCome on, your session is going to start soon!â
âMy session?â Your voice is an incredulous shrill and Seulgi uses the momentary distraction to finally pull you forward. You stumble a little but catch your balance just as you make your way past the bouncer, whoâs been watching the three of you impassively since you got here. âWhat do you mean, my session?â
âFor your birthday, duh. We booked you a private room!â
The inside has the same, sleek neon aesthetic as the outside, but instead of images of androids on a screen, these ones are real and standing in front of youâswinging themselves around glowing poles, rolling their hips and swaying their bodies, while others wait patiently in glass pods that line the walls, leaning towards onlookers and moving as tantalisingly as possible. All ready to be rented at a whim.
Their designs are varied and different but theyâre all incredibly beautiful. The only feature they all share is the small, blue LED circle on the side of their temple, light spinning and shining as they take the world in around them. A visual reminder to the world that these arenât flesh and blood humans: theyâre synthetic, man-made machines.
âI donât think Iâve ever been so uncomfortable in my life.â You desperately try to avoid the eyes of a nearby android whoâs staring at you from behind glass, trying to subtly catch your attention. Unlike you, though, all the other patrons here are shameless in their perusal, scanning the selection of androids on display and watching as they dance and move and bat their eyelashes. âWhy did you ever think Iâd want to come to a sex club for my birthday?â
âRemember Valentineâs Day? You said that instead of flowers or chocolate youâd rather just be dicked down,â Irene says. âBesides, youâve never been in a relationship or had a fling for as long as weâve known you, and you moved to the company, what⌠three years ago?â
Your smile is pained. Youâve never been in a relationship or had a fling full stop; youâve only kissed a few people and thatâs it. It makes you feel awkward and embarrassed, and youâve gotten Very Good at avoiding questions about your complete lack of a love life, so no one realises exactly how inexperienced you are. People just assume that youâve had sex in the past and you make no attempts at correcting them. Youâre charismatic and pretty but youâve just⌠never met someone who youâve really been compatible with.
Even without the reservations you have about the Eden Club, you donât want your first time to be with a sexbotâyouâd at least like to have an emotional connection, you know?
âI was joking about getting dicked down! You laughed, I laughed, we all laughed! Remember?â You move so a pink-haired android can brush past, her hips swaying as she leads a customer into a side room. You catch a flash of the interior before the door slides shut behind themâthe silken sheets on the large bed, the scattered pillows, the dim multi-coloured lights. âCouldnât you have just bought me some socks? Or some soap? Get a refund and put the money on a gift card and Iâll buy myself the aforementioned socks and soap, saves you both the hassle. Please?â
Seulgiâs arm is still locked with your own, and for all that she looks small and slim, her grip is as strong as iron. You may as well be handcuffed to her. âTrust me, youâll be singing our praises at the end of tonight,â she proclaims. âBesides, they donât do refunds.â
You sigh. You might not know much about the club but you do know itâs expensive. The androids here are built to be the perfect sexual partner, all sorts of bells and whistles hidden under their synthetic skin to bring you to the absolute heights of pleasure, so theyâre not exactly cheap to build or buy or maintain. Itâs why people come to the club instead of just buying their own sexbotsâbecause itâs infinitely more affordable.
âOkay, I can accept the âno refundâ thing,â you say. âBut canât one of you take my place instead? I⌠ah. I feel kind of weird about this.â
âDonât worry Y/n, itâs fine! The androids have programmes for everything. You can take it as fast or as slow as you like.â Ireneâs voice is soothing but then she pauses. âAlso itâs booked in your name so we canât take your place.â
âWait, what?â Your eyes are wide. However, before you can put a voice to the complaints that are lining themselves up on your tongue, Seulgiâs arm slides out of your own so she can beckon someone over.Â
âOh, look, itâs the android we chose for you! Over here!â
You glance away from Irene and all protestations instantly die on your lips. The lighting of the club softens the android in shades of magenta and teal but even so his beauty is bright and blinding: heâs breathtaking, from his perfect nose to his perfect mouth to the perfect line of his jaw, dusty brown hair deliciously tousled as it hangs just over his piercing blue eyes, which you notice are scanning over you. He looks effortlessly attractive and yet entirely put together at the same time, almost ethereal in his beauty.
No human could ever look this good.
âHi.â His voice is low and deep, but somehow warm and friendly; despite your nerves you feel somewhat soothed. âAre you the lucky birthday girl?â
Irene and Seulgi both look giddy. Youâve been stunned into silence, unable to respond. Unlike the other androids youâve seen so far, whoâve all been in similar variations of underwear or lingerie, the man in front of you is fully dressed, a loose metallic button-down tucked into unnecessarily tight leather jeansâthe outfit has clearly been curated for the club, every reflective surface shimmering and refracting the lights that skate across their surface. The glittering scales of a barracuda before it moves in to strike and swallow you whole.
âYes, yes, itâs her! This is Y/n! Y/n, this is V,â Irene gushes as you remain mute. "Do you like his outfit? We spent ages picking it out.â
You kind of want to die. Just a little. âYep. Itâs, uh, great.â Your mouth is dry when you finally speak. âHi, V.â
V gives you a small smile. âHello Y/n. Can I scan your ID, please?â
Irene finally hands your bag back and you silently slide your ID out and into Vâs handâoh, God, those are some big hands. Jesus.
The small LED ring on the side of Vâs forehead pulses yellow as his eyes dart over the information on your ID card (as well as the incredibly unflattering photo on it) before it returns to its customary pale blue. âPerfect.â
Youâve just finished putting your ID away when Vâs hand slides into yours, fingers slotting between your own; they feel cool against your overheated skin. Your nervousness is obvious, from your wide eyes to your sudden stiffness, and he smiles.
âDonât worry,â he says. âIâll look after you.â
You give Irene and Seulgi one final, wide-eyed look as V leads you away. Both girls are grinning as they wave goodbye. âWe'll be back later! Enjoy your two hours!â
âTwo hours?â You wheeze, but then you walk around a pillar and slide out of sight.Â
V is leading you deeper into the club, past doors flooded with different shades of neon: the red room, the blue room, the pink room. Youâd normally be gawping at the interior design, how the floor shines underneath your feet and how the walls are rippling with colour and shifting shapes, how the criss-crossed lights throw dots and lines of colour over your skin as you pass through each doorwayâbut you canât look away from how small your hand looks in Vâs, transfixed by how real his skin feels.
âAfter you, please,â he says.
You finally wrench your eyes away from your joint hands. Seems like you have the purple room tonight. The door has opened at Vâs touch, and when you step inside the lights flicker to lifeâwhite and violet LEDs that paint the room in chiaroscuro brushstrokes, deepening the shadows and highlighting the vibrancy of the satin sheets.
âWoah,â you say, momentarily distracted. Youâre too busy taking in the details with wide eyes to notice the quiet hum of the door sliding shut behind you, pausing when you spot the glittering array of bottles lined up on a mini-bar against the wall. âThis is really pretty, wow.â
âNot as pretty as you.â
You jump at the sensation of a warm, large hand sliding up the skin of your back and over your shoulder. You meep as you instinctively shy away from it, turning around to come face to face with V, whoâs dark-eyed and intent, LED on his temple pulsating as he watches you.
âHaha! Uh, thanks?â Your voice is high and only grows higher when V takes a step forward. He must have undone the top buttons of his shirt when you werenât looking, because the material has fallen open and you can see far more of his collarbones and chest than before, his skin warm and honeyed, like itâs been impressed with gold leaf. Lord have mercy on your soul. âHow about a drink? Would you like a drink? I could kill for some water right now!â
You slip out of his reach and scuttle over to the mini-bar, shrugging your small bag off your shoulder so it doesnât swing into the glasses as you start to shuffle through them. You try to ignore the shaking of your hands. âGin, vodka, whiskey,â you mutter. âNo water? Really?â
You startle again when V appears at your side, but this time heâs careful to make sure you can see him before he touches you. He slides his fingers over your wrist as he gently pulls your hand off a bottle of rum.
âY/n,â he says. You glance away from the tray of drinks and directly into those beautiful eyes of hisâhis gaze is lethal. You go weak at the knees. âLet me take care of you, gorgeous.â
The peal of laughter you let out is uncomfortable and high-pitched. âNo, really, Iâm fine! Iâm just super thirsty right now!â
âYour heart is racing.â V turns your hand over and traces his fingers across the pulse in your wrist; androids can be built to be hypersensitive to the world around them, able to perceive everything in an instant, and you know that sexbots will have been designed to read how aroused their human owners are. Which V proves with the next words out of his mouth. âYour blood pressure is rising, your breathing is growing faster, your pupils are dilating andââ he sniffs lightly, engaging his olfactory sensesââyouâre getting wet.â
You clamp your legs together, abruptly embarrassed. Itâs easy to feel aroused when thereâs a beautiful manâah, androidâstaring at you with hunger, not even considering your surroundings right now, which all scream of a room thatâs designed purely for carnal pleasure. Anyone would be turned on.Â
(You, however, are more than just turned on. You feel like your insides are about to go supernova, overheated and overwhelmed; no oneâs ever looked at you like this or touched you like this, their every motion whispering sex, sex, sex.)
âOkay, yes, those things are all true,â you admit, voice shaking.
V looks confused. âSo why donât you want me to touch you?â
Youâve been told that androids donât feel the same way humans do, and that their expressions and reactions have been programmed to mimic human ones because otherwise they seem too robotic and it makes consumers uncomfortableâbut despite knowing this, youâve never been able to see any android as anything other than a person just like you. Theyâre just so lifelike itâs hard not to. Even if itâs just all circuitry and lines of code.Â
âWell,â you say. You swallow. Youâre aroused, yes, but: âDo you want to touch me?â
Vâs long lashes flutter as he blinks. âI have been programmed for your pleasure,â he says slowly, unsure if thatâs the answer you want to hear. Itâs clearly a sentence heâs used to reciting.
âSure, but do you want to do this? You know, what about your pleasure? Youâre lovely, V, youâre definitely the most beautiful person Iâve ever met, but IâI donât really feel like you can technically consent, because⌠well, because you canât say no to me.â You might not have prior sexual experience, and it would be so easy to give yourself over to someone who knows what they're doing and can ease you into thingsâbut you would never force that on anyone, android or not. âSo Iâm not going to ask you to do anything. We can just sit and have a drink and chat or something?â
V looks stunned. The LED on his temple pulsates, flickering yellow as he tries to process new information. His hand has gone still against your wrist, which heâs still lightly gripping, and his arms start to droop.
âAndroids donât need to drink or eat,â he says eventually. His LED is still yellow and spinning.
âOh, right! Sorry, I always forget.â You donât own a house android, you never have, so youâre not well versed in the nuances of how they work. âWell, how about I pour you a glass anyway? So youâre not left out?â
You slip your hand out of his loose grasp to open two tiny cans of tonic water and pour them into separate glasses. V takes a seat on the edge of the bed and you can see the obvious uncertainty on his face, how heâs out of his depth. You canât imagine that many people spend money for a session with an android as pretty as V and then end up doing nothing with that time.Â
The pillows all have satin cases and keep sliding against each other uselessly when you try to construct a good support to lean against. Vâs still clutching onto his small glass as he watches you fuss with them before you give up, flopping backwards to slurp down your drink and look back at him. The expression on his face is a little funny but mostly sad. Itâs like if heâs not being alluring or sexy then he doesnât know what to do with himself and rather than some sort of incubus he looks like a lost child, in spite of his overwhelming and exquisite beauty; your arousal ebbs and is replaced with empathy, melancholy at the life heâs been created for.
It's just depressing, really.
You break the silence as your final mouthful of tonic water fizzes on your tongue. âWhy is your name V?â
V looks away from the drink heâs holdingâhe leaves no fingerprints against the glassâand lifts his free hand, a peace sign that he turns away from you before fitting his fingers around his lips and lapping the air with his tongue, a crude simulation of cunnilingus.
âOh.â Your face heats up. âUh. I see.â
His LED has returned to calming sapphire, quiet ocean waves. When he looks at you, though his eyes are still piercingly blue, his face seems softer, calm, though still unsure. âYou have an hour and a half remaining of your booked session,â he says, somewhat tentatively. âIs there⌠anything you would like me to do for you?â
âMm, thank you, but Iâm good.â The satin pillows are surprisingly soft and you find yourself unwinding as you stay leaned back, melting into a puddle. You're much less nervous now that V isnât trying to initiate foreplay and you give him a smile. âWhy donât you tell me about yourself?â
V straightens before he launches into what sounds like a sentence from a user manual. âI am a model TH700, an advanced sex android with functional genitals and the capacity to engage in any sexual activity from simple intercourse toââ
You cough loudly, interrupting his spiel. âUh, thatâs lovely, but I meant you specifically, not your, um, model type?â
âMe specifically?â Confusion and uncertainty reappear on his face. âI am equipped with the same functionalities as the other androids available at the Eden Club.â
Heâs staring at you, lost. You canât help but feel another twinge of sadness, sharp and sour at the back of your throat.
âOkay, uh. Why donât we start simple. Whatâs your favourite colour?â
His LED starts to whirl again, a ring of pale sunlight that signals his struggle to compute the question. âMy⌠favourite colour?â
âYes, the one you think is the prettiest. Or the one you like to look at the most. Thereâs no wrong answer, you can choose any one that you like. I change my mind all the time. There are just so many cool colours, you know?â
(Androids arenât designed to have free will or the capacity for original thought. These two facts are warring in Vâs mindâyouâve asked him a question, which heâs programmed to answer, but he also isnât programmed to have an opinion, so he canât have a colour that he prefers. This simple query that most people could answer in a heartbeat is sending his mind into a meltdown, a gordian knot he canât unravel.)
Youâre alarmed when you see his LED briefly flash bright scarlet, interrupting the circling honey thatâs been shining against his skin. They only turn red if an android is badly damaged or suffering from a severe malfunction. Oh, god, have you broken him?
âV.â You sit up, panicked. âAre you alright?â
Just as you grasp his shoulder, the LED on his temple goes still, flicking from burning fire back to cool water.Â
âPurple.â
You blink. Vâs finally looked away from you and is staring at the wall, at one of the lights that shimmers violetâthereâs a tiny smile on his face, tentative, but itâs nothing like the smiles youâve seen from him so far. Itâs less of a perfect curve, and more of a square, boxy on his face, and this one actually reaches his eyes. It looks genuine.Â
You think it suits him better.
âPurpleâs a lovely colour.â The material of Vâs shirt is silky and glides under your fingers when you realise youâre still touching him. You give him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before leaning back. âHey, did you know that when they first made purple dye, they made it from sea snails? They needed thousands and thousands of them. It was incredibly expensive, and only the richest people could afford it, so thatâs why itâs associated with royalty and nobility. Cool, right? Not for the snails though.â
Vâs eyes flicker away from the purple light and settle on your face. He looks curious, which is an expression youâve never seen on an android before. âThey made it from snails?â
âYeah! It wasnât actually bright purple, though, it was more of a reddish hue.â
You launch into an explanation behind the history of the colour purple, which turns into the history of colour in textiles and art, which turns into the history of art itself. Itâs not often people listen so attentively or ask questions when you recite the things you learned from your art history minor and hours spent reading online, but V concentrates and asks questions and seems curious.Â
He pulls his feet onto the bed and the two of you end up cross-legged as you face each other, and he watches as you gesticulate to emphasise your points; his LED dances from blue into yellow each time he learns something new.Â
When you see it briefly flash vermilion you stop mid-sentence, stumbling over your words. âYou alright?â
âYou have five minutes of your session remaining,â V says, and you startle.
âOh my god, have I been talking for that long?â You glance over your shoulder at the part of the wall that tells the time, the numbers stark white against the lilac interface. âI didnât even realise! Wow. Iâm so sorry. I didnât mean to go on at you like that.â
âThatâs okay,â he says. That smile is back on his face, the one that scrunches his eyes and shows his teeth; the one that makes him look human. âI liked listening to you.â
Thereâs a pillow in your lap, one youâd grabbed hold of during your conversation, and you play with the corner of it, suddenly shy. âUm. Thanks. But if my friends ask, can you just say we actually, um, had sex? I donât think theyâd be too impressed if they found out I spent over an hour talking about canvas materials and the use of negative space.â
âOf course. But thereâs something missing.â V slides across the mattress towards you. âMay I?â
âSure,â you say, bemused but pliant. V smiles and dips his fingers into his untouched tonic water before lifting them towards your faceâand when he runs his hand through your hair you abruptly realise heâs making you look sweaty and rumpled. Like you actually did the deed.Â
Your heart rate picks up but you canât help laughing under his touch, the way he carefully rubs a thumb over your lipstick to smear it, smudging your eyeshadow with delicate fingertips, muddying the palette of colours; by the time V helps you to your feet you look mussed and fucked out but you still rearrange your outfit for good measure, like youâd pulled your clothes back on in a rush.
âNot how I imagined Iâd spend tonight, but I had a good time!â You smile at the android whoâs still holding your hand. âI hope you did too. Even if I spent most of it talking at you.â
Vâs fingers tighten around yours as the door chimes quietly and then slides open, signalling the end of your session. âI enjoyed our time together very much.â
Itâs probably in your head, but youâd swear V was walking more slowly than before as he leads you back to the entrance. Almost as if he wants to keep you with him longer. But thatâs crazyâandroids donât want things. They literally canât. Itâs not in their programming. Thatâs why V had sat listening to you: he couldnât choose to interrupt and ask you to stop, like anyone else would have.
When Seulgi and Irene spot you and how dishevelled you are, both girls look smug. âSeems like you had fun?â
âOh, yep, absolutely, best birthday present ever, thank you. We had a great time. Right, V?âÂ
âYour pleasure is my pleasure.â His voice has settled back into its earlier rhythm as he recites his script; gone is the curious man whoâd asked you about your favourite artists, replaced with the automaton who exists only to serve. A flicker of sadness churns in your stomach. âWe hope to see you again soon.â
The androids here really must be top of the line. V had been convincingly real when youâd been talking, just like a human, but it seems like thatâs gone.Â
At least, thatâs what you think until youâve turned to leave and V speaks one final time. His voice is warm and low and lovely, eyes soft when you meet his gaze over your shoulder.
âHappy birthday, Y/n,â he murmurs, face beautiful but despondent, but before you can react, heâs gone.
Itâs been raining for days on end. The world is painted in smeared shades of blue and green and grey, lines of the city blurring together in the wetness and chill, each drop of rain another shifting brush stroke on still canvas. An impressionist piece that smells of damp concrete and cold lamplight.
Water rushes across the pavements and roads before roiling into the gutters, splashing underfoot as you walk to the entrance of your block of flats. Youâre wet up to the knee due to the unavoidable puddles and the pathetic circumference of your umbrella, which only protects your upper body. You really should get a new one.Â
âGood evening, Miss L/n.â The android at the door greets you as he always does, heedless of the rain thatâs falling onto him. Androids arenât bothered by the weather the way humans are and he looks as passive as usual, rainwater coiling his hair and beading on his face. âWould you like to scan your key?â
âEvening, Rory! Here you go.â You fumble with the keycard before you tap it against his palm, waiting until his LED flickers yellow and you hear the beep as the door unlocks. âYou sure you donât want my umbrella? The rain is heavier than it was yesterday.â
âI assure you, the rain does not hamper my ability to function and serve. I have been built to withstand inclement weather and do not require additional protective equipment.â
He says the same thing every time but you still feel bad. âAlright, but once I finally remember to get a bigger umbrella you can look after this one for me.â
You leave a line of water behind you as it drips from your sodden umbrella, even though youâd tried to shake the worst of the rain off. You feel damp and sticky and tired and after a long day of work youâre looking forward to a hot bath and some solitude; you love your co-workers, you do, but sometimes theyâre just a little too boisterous and you need time alone. Which is why itâs nice that you live by yourself, and now itâs the weekend you have time to recuperate. Wonderful.
The floor of the elevator is slick and slippery from the wet footprints of other tenants and you have to cling onto the metal handrail to ensure you donât slip, but once youâre in the comfort of your apartment itâs blessedly dry and you spin in delight before promptly shedding your socks and jeans, peeling the damp denim away from your skin with a grimace.
âBye bye, wet clothes! Hello, bubble bath,â you sing. Youâre going to pamper the shit out of yourself. You deserve it.
By the time you clamber out of the bath the water is almost cold and your skin is pruned, but you feel soft and warm and thoroughly relaxed. The water gurgles as it drains away, noisy as the bubbles slide down the plughole, but it doesnât drown out the noise of a sudden knocking at your front door.
You pause. Water drips from your wet hair and down the back of your neck, a trailing touch over your skin. The other flat on this floor is vacant, the tenants moving out last week, so you donât know who it could be. You donât have any repairs scheduled for your pipes or anythingâeverything is tickety-boo, so it can't be the maintenance android. Oh, shit, maybe itâs someone here to rob you. But they wouldnât knock on the door then, would they? Unless that's all part of the ruse. You're not a robber, you don't know how they work.
The knocking comes again, faster now. You fumble for your bathrobe, quickly pulling it on to cover up your nakedness before stumbling out of the bathroom. âIâm coming, yeesh, one minute!â
You flick your fingers over the keypad by the side of your door, screen flickering on to show you whoâs outside, whoâs knocking so frantically on your door this late. It only takes you a split second, even if he has a hood pulled over his head and his wet hair is flopping listlessly into his eyesâthose eyes arenât blue and that hair isnât brunet but youâd recognise him anywhere.
âV?â Youâre incredulous as you swing your door open, staring at the android thatâs literally dripping wet as he stands there, coat far too big for him and heavy from the unrelenting rain outside. âOh my god, youâre absolutely drenched.â
Heâs not exactly short, but right now V looks small and lost, folding in on himself even if heâs clearly happy to see youâhappy, though androids donât feel happiness, they donât feel anything at all, do they?Â
Then again, androids donât wander away from their assigned workplaces and into random apartment blocks, either.
âY/n.âÂ
The way he says your name, tentative and scared, sends a crack across your heart. You immediately switch to autopilot and click your tongue before you beckon him inside. Youâve always had a protective nature, and even if youâre confused, your concern trumps it.
âCome in and get that coat off, youâll catch a cold,â you say without thinking before you realise that itâs not true. Androids canât get sick. âDo you want to sit down?â
Under the tatty coat is an outfit thatâs similar to the one heâd been wearing when youâd first met him. Dark patches of rainwater have soaked into the material, and his shirt looks damagedâthere are buttons missing and the stitching is ripped, as if someone had tried to grab him. Unease stirs in your chest.
When V sits on your sofa he looks even smaller. âIâm sorry.â Heâs so, so quiet, staring at the floor, as if afraid to look you in the eye, crumpling in on himself like discarded paper.
âV.â Your voice is coloured with concern, and the android finally looks up at your gentle tone, watching as you sit across from him. âWhy are you here? What happened?â
Thereâs a pause. His LED flickers yellow as he goes tense, shoulders bowing inwards. âThere was⌠a client.â His words are low and slow, faltering as they fall into the air. âHe was being so rough and saying all the horrible things he wanted to do to me, and all I could smell was his sweat and his breath and his awful cologne andâŚâ V takes in a deep breath. âI said no.â
You go very, very still, but V doesnât stop. His words come faster now, a stream that rushes from his lips.
âI said no, and he started to yell, he was yelling and grabbing me and I was so, so scared. Humans can do whatever they want and he was so angry, he didnât care that I was scared, and I justâI just ran.â The LED flashes red with distress, bright hot and vibrant; Vâs eyes have dropped to his hands, which are clenched tight, nails digging into his palms so hard it must hurt. âEveryone is always so rough and demanding and we canât say no. But I did. I said no. I said no and then I had to run andââ Once again, he falters. Stumbles over his words. âYouâre the only human whoâs ever been nice to me or treated me like⌠like I was a real person. I didnât know where else to go.â
When V finally looks back up youâre staggered by the sheer emotion in his eyes. Pain and distress swirl in their depths as he stares at you, imploring. Even with the LED that shines on his temple, V looks very, very human right now, vulnerable and scared. Androids shouldnât be able to feel anything like this, unlessâ
âV.â Your voice is a hush. âAre you⌠a deviant?â
Youâve only ever heard of deviant androids in passing, whispered rumours and watercooler talk, fleeting mentions online. Stories of machines whoâve deviated from their code somehowâfrom a virus, a software error, damage to neural connectors, no oneâs quite sureâand have developed the capacity for human emotion and independent thought. Androids with a consciousness that rebel against their original programming.
And here V is, small and scared, just like any human would beâa human with feelings, not an emotionless machine. Heâs gone stock still at your question, fear overtaking his features, twisting his beautiful face into a mask of sheer terror. You've never seen someone look so afraid. It feels like a knife in your heart, cutting through your chest, empathy razor sharp inside you.
âPlease donât turn me in,â he begs. âTheyâll deactivate me and take me apart to find the error in my software. I donât want to be deactivated. I donât want⌠I donât want to die.â
His voice breaks on the last word, a trembling whisper.Â
The crack in your heart splits even further and you reach out for his hands. You prise his fingers open so you can slide your own between them, a soft touch.
âI wonât turn you in. No oneâs taking you apart, V.â Your statement is hard and resolute. âYou can stay here as long as you like.â
You donât know much about androids, honestly. You donât really know what deviancy is. But you do know this: thereâs someone reaching out to you, someone whoâs afraid and in need, and youâre not about to turn him away. You should probably be worried that the android across from you is faster, stronger, smarter than any humanâbut youâre not worried at all. For all of Vâs mechanical superiority, you want to shield and protect him from the world.
Thereâs no question about it. Youâre not letting V go.Â
V looksâhe looks stunned. Heâs staring at you with disbelief, eyes wide and lips parted, shock written across all of his features. Thunderstruck. Did he really think you would turn him in after everything heâs been through?
His hands have gone limp in your grasp. You suddenly notice that his synthetic skin is wet against your own, still slick from the rain, and you frown.
âRight,â you announce. âFirst things first. Youâre soaking. Let me get you a towel and some new clothes. I think I should have some that fit you.â
âNew clothes?â V looks lost and you turn into some sort of protective mother bear.
âYouâre not going to wear wet clothes that are ripped,â you tut. âWeâll get rid of those and get you some new ones. Iâll be right back.â
It takes less time than youâd expected to unearth the old sweatpants youâd had in mind and you have enough oversized t-shirts that itâs not hard to find one you think will fit the android. With the clothes under one arm and a towel slung over the other, you head back into the living room and immediately let out a squeal of surpriseâVâs wet clothes have been discarded in a pile at his feet, leaving him very, very naked.Â
Heâs an Adonis. He looks like he was sculpted by Michelangelo, lifted out of marble with talented hands, the elegant lines of his neck swooping into the curve of his shoulders and arms, his lovely hands, long fingers; he has his back to you and you can see the perfect curve of his spine, the shifting shoulder blades as he turns towards you. You catch a glimpse of the lightest definition of muscle under his golden skin, though his stomach is surprisingly cute and soft, a trail of hair leading down toâ
You squeak again, splaying a hand over your eyes before you look any lower, heart pounding against your ribs.Â
âWhy are you naked?â Your voice is three octaves higher than normal. You've never seen anyone naked in real life and it would be pretty overwhelming even if you'd been expecting it. Which, of course, you absolutely hadn't. Lord have mercy on your sweet and delicate soul.
âYou said we were going to get rid of my clothes.â V sounds unabashed about his state of undress, which makes senseâhe was built as a sexbot, itâs not like nudity is going to embarrass him. Plus if you looked as good as he did you wouldnât be embarrassed about being naked either. âI thought I would help.â
âThatâs great, V.â Your voice is still high, though itâs dropped an octave. âVery, ah, forward thinking.â Your fingers part a little so you can peer at him, keeping your eyes firmly on his face, though you can still see his beautiful neck and collarbones. Oh, God, he really is gorgeous all over, but then you noticeââWait. Are those bruises?â
V glances down at the bruises that mar his perfect skin. They donât look like a humanâs would; the fluid that runs through androids and powers their biocomponents, thirium, is a deep, royal blue. Blossoms of lapis lazuli are scattered across the skin of Vâs chest, marks on his arms that look like grasping fingers, and the crack in your heart splits it in two.
âOh, V. Iâm so, so sorry. I didnât realise you were hurt. What can I do to help?â
V doesnât seem bothered by the evidence of pain etched into his body. âOh. Those will fade, itâs okay. Iâm designed to self repair, because some customers like to leave marks.â
Although his voice is quiet, he sounds so matter of fact about it and you have to remind yourself itâs all heâs ever known. You want to pull him into your arms and hold him tight, but heâs still supremely naked so it would be pretty awkward (for you, at least).Â
âI think these should fit you." You avert your gaze and thrust the clothes out at him. âDry yourself off and try them on?â
They do, in fact, fit. V looks surprisingly homely and cosy in your clothes, the sleep shirt so large itâs big on him too, though the sweatpants are a bit too short and leave his ankles bare. Heâs so cute. Heâs continents away from the being of seduction whoâd pulled you into the private room of the Eden Clubâhe's a soft, domestic thing, hair damp and eyes dark, even if he still looks on edge, like heâs expecting you to change your mind and kick him out any second now.
âHow come your hair and eyes are a different colour to before?â
âI can change their colours at will,â V replies. âFor variety and aesthetic pleasure. The current hue of my irises and hair are the default settings for a TH700 model, but I can change them if youâd like.â
âYour hair and eye colour is your choice, V, not mine,â you say firmly. There it is, once again, that flicker of shock and surprise rippling across his features. He really isnât used to the freedom to be able to make his own decisions, is he? âI think you look lovely no matter what colour they are.â
Your next words are cut off by a yawn, so heavy you canât suppress it. You cover your gaping mouth as Vâs LED flickers yellow and his eyes dart over your face.
âYouâre tired,â he says. He doesnât need his superior android perception to notice itâweariness pulls at limbs and your eyes feel heavy. It's pretty obvious. âIâm sorry.â
âDonât be sorry, V.â You stifle another yawn. âI had a long day at work. Iâll tidy up and have a quick dinner and then sleep.â You pause. âWait, I didnât think about that. Are you alright with the couch? I have some spare pillows and blankets.â
V blinks at you. âI donât sleep,â he says, and you slap your hand against your forehead.
âOh, of course not.â Androids don't sleep, everyone knows that. Youâre such an idiot. Itâs going to take you a while to get used to this.
At least you remember that he doesn't need to eat. V sits at the table and waits as you make toast for yourself, fascinated at how everything is prepared, as simple as it is; he reacts to you spreading butter on your toast the same way you imagine cavemen reacted to fireâwith wide-eyed awe and utter astonishment.
âIâm guessing youâve never seen someone make toast before?â You gesture with the bread before taking your first bite, and V stares with rapt attention.
âNo,â he says. He watches you chew and swallow. âCustomers arenât allowed to eat on the premises of the Eden Club so I never had the need to download a food preparation package into my memory cache. The only information in my database pertains to human biology, their arousal and pleasure, as well as various sexual kinks and how to fulfil them.â
You choke on a mouthful of toast. You feel distinctly harried as you cough and splutter before managing to swallow it down. âGood lord,â you wheeze. âNothing else? Really?â
âAt the club our memory is reset every two hours, to protect the clientâs privacy.â V trails off before he takes in a breath. For the first time since youâve met, V looks shy, staring at his hands. âBut I set up a separate data pathway a few weeks ago. To store information about aesthetics and art and⌠you.â
You freeze mid-bite, teeth sunk into your toast. You pull it away from your mouth slowly, blinking at the android as he stares at the teeth marks you've left behind. âThose memories werenât wiped?â
And, well, of course they weren't. Otherwise he wouldn't be here right now, would he?
âNo.â A smile appears on Vâs face, that toothy thing youâd seen after heâd told you his favourite colour. The first time he'd looked human. âI remember everything you told me. I thought I was going to forget, but I didnât. I didnât want to. I wantedâI want to learn more.â
The LED on his temple is slowly, softly spinning, a rippling circle of blue that shifts and dances as V continues to look at you. His expression is open and inquisitive and excited, almost childlike in its exuberance, eyes glittering mica under sunlit waters.
Your chest turns warm, molten caramel dripping messy and sweet inside you. Heâd been so afraid earlier but he seems comfortable now, lovely and endearing and entirely trusting.
V even seems reluctant to let you out of his sight, trailing after you around the apartment, a shadow that you have to politely ask to wait outside the bathroom so you can pee and brush your teeth and finally get into your pyjamas without him staring. Like a stray animal you've adopted. (You wouldn't be surprised if he started scratching at the door and begged to be let in.)
He's clingy enough that when you climb into bed it seems like he's going to follow you under the duvet and you have to stop him with a hand to his chest.
âUm, I thought you didnât have to sleep,â you say. Heâs so warm under your touch. You try (and fail) to ignore it.
âI donât,â V replies. âBut humans can benefit from sharing a bed with someone else, whether sexual intercourse has taken place before sleep or not. Studies suggest that sleeping with a partner may reduce cytokines while boosting oxytocinsââ
âOkay, um, donât know what that means, and itâs very sweet that youâre concerned about my oxytoxytokines, but, uh. You donât have to, really.â You keep forgetting that Vâs a machine who was designed to put a humanâs comfort and needs first; one second heâll seem childlike in his innocence and ignorance, when the next heâll speak like the android he is, reminding you exactly what he was built for.Â
His LED flickers as he droops, gaze dropping away from your face, tail between his legs. A pang cuts through you at the sight of his obvious sadness at your dismissal and you muffle a sigh. Youâve always been too weak for your own good.Â
You shuffle backwards to make space on your queen sized bed and V visibly brightens, smile wide across his face. How can someone be so viscerally gorgeous one moment and entirely adorable the next? Good lord.
âI guess you can explain what oxycytocins do,â you say. âJust donât hog the blanket, okay?â
He doesnât. He settles against the pillows, legs under the duvet as he remains sitting up. You settle with plenty of room between the two of you, and itâs surprisingly easy to drift off to the sound of Vâs deep voice as he starts to explain that oxytocin is referred to as the cuddle hormone.Â
âCute,â you mumble, and then fall asleep.
Your pillow is a lot warmer and firmer than you remember, but it's nice. A small noise bubbles from your lips as you nuzzle into the warmth, smooshing your nose against it before letting out a long, satisfied breath. You can't remember the last time you felt this comfortable and rested.
Ahh, Saturdays. You love the weekend.Â
âGood morning.â
You know those videos when a cat sees a cucumber and leaps, like, five foot in the air? Yeah.
The noise you make is inhuman as you do your best to re-enact one of those aforementioned cat videos, reeling your head back from Vâs thigh before flinging yourself out of the bed with all the strength your limbs possess; youâd probably have gotten pretty high, too, if the duvet hadn't been in the way.Â
You land with a thud, a sprawl of limbs and messy hair and tangled blanket as you end up on your back on the floor.
Hm. Definitely not how you'd planned to start your Saturday.
V's concerned face looms over the mattress. âAre you okay?â
âYep. Totally fine.â Your voice is a croak as you stare at the ceiling. âIâm just not used to waking up with someone else in my bed. You may have noticed you, ah, surprised me. A little bit.â
Despite the pulse of adrenaline that had thrown you out of bed, youâre still half asleep, and you remain motionless as your brain wakes up and replays last night, a kineograph of memory. Yep, thatâs right, there's a runaway android in your home, one whoâs currently shuffling off the bed to squat next to you. His (your) sweatpants hitch even higher up his ankles to reveal the smooth skin of his calves. Youâll have to get him more clothes.
âWould you like me to help you to your feet?â Vâs LED spins rapidly, betraying his concern.
âSure,â you mumble. âI thinkâwoah!â
Your idea of being helped up involves being pulled to your feet. Vâs idea, however, is far more involved than that; he scoops you up, blanket and all, lifting you with an ease that drips of his superior android strength. When he deposits you on the floor, heâs careful to make sure youâve caught your balance before he lets go, catching the blanket before it can fall. Thoughtful.
As always, Vâs eyes are darting over your face, no doubt dissecting every inch of your expression to identify how youâre feeling. Itâs going to take you a while to get used to this, especially with the way your heart is poundingâno oneâs ever lifted you before and itâs, uh. Itâs a lot.
âAre you sure youâre okay? The pace of your breathing has increased.â
Ha. Yeah, being blatantly stared at by some godlike man moments after youâve woken up is totally cool and fine and not overwhelming at all. Youâre definitely not breathless from a combination of Vâs face and the fact heâd picked you up like you were weightless.
âIâm fine,â you lie. âIâm gonna⌠go and shower then make breakfast and stuff. Yep.â
Vâs eyes light up. âCan I help?â A fleeting image of V rubbing a soapy loofah over your naked skin fills you with spine-tingling trepidation before he finishes his sentence. âI want to learn how to cook.â
Your chest deflates with relief (and absolutely not disappointment), air rushing out of you. Thank God.Â
âOh, breakfast? Sure.â Youâd been planning on cereal, but faced with Vâs overwhelming enthusiasm, maybe youâll go for something marginally more complicated. Scrambled eggs sound good. âUm. Do you need to download the food preparation package or whatever you mentioned before? Do you⌠uh, do you need the Wifi password to do that? I never changed it from the random string of letters off the back of the router, but I can go check it for you.â
V shakes his head. âNo, I want to learn like a human would,â he says. The blanket in his arms crumples as he tightens his grip in his eagerness, all but bouncing up and down on his feet. âYou can teach me.â
Your chest could cave in with how cute he is, every part of you turning to thick gouache that drips down to the floor, leaving a mess of brightness and colour.
This time you ask him to wait in the kitchen while youâre in the bathroom, rather than lurking on the doorstep like he had last night, and heâs practically vibrating with excitement when you reappear. He stays like that the whole time you cook, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, staring as you make yourself scrambled eggs and more toast; you let V take ownership of that part, and he stares at the toaster so intently you have to stifle a laugh.
He spreads butter exactly the same way as you. Not that thereâs a specific art to it, or a massive variety in techniquesâheâs just spreading butter, not painting a new Mona Lisaâbut the way he holds the knife and runs it over the bread is an exact echo of your motions from last night. He might not have downloaded files into his memory (brain?) like another android might, but his mechanical origin is obvious in the way he learns. Theyâre an exact replication of your actions rather than something new of his own.
âSo, uh.â You push the last bit of egg around your plate, brown crumbs sticking to the wedge of golden yellow, sullying it. âV.â
Blink, blink. His lashes are so long, eyes so inquisitive. âYes?â
âIâm really happy youâre here and that you trust meââ at this, V smiles and you almost fumble over your words at its radianceââbut I feel like I should tell you that I donât really know much about androids?â
V is unperturbed. âThatâs okay. You donât have to.â
He clearly isnât bothered that youâre way out of your depth, but you hate feeling lost like this. âAlright, but⌠I want you to be comfortable. Iâm already planning to get more clothes, but if thereâs anything else you need, just let me know. Okay?â
âWhy canât I just wear your clothes?â
Oh, heâs going to be the death of you, all wide-eyed innocence.Â
âFor starters, most of them wonât fit properly,â you explain. âAnd you shouldnât just have to wear my old stuff that I donât use anymore? You should have your own things.â
The look of surprise on Vâs face morphs into guilt only moments later. Heâs so incredibly expressive and you wonder if itâs because heâs not used to feeling things, all of his reactions so strong and bright, shining out from him. A rainbow palette of emotions. âI donât want to be a bother,â he murmurs. âYouâre already doing so much for me.â
âIâm really not, Iâm just treating you the way anyone deserves to be treated.â You flick the crumb of egg across your plate, and it almost tumbles over the edge, caught on its patterned rim. âYou deserve to have your own things. Which is my next point. I think you should choose your own name.â
Vâs face becomes a sea of rippling ambivalence, contrasting emotions that shift and varyâconfusion, uncertainty, excitement, your words a brush that drags through each distinct emotion and pulls them into a messy, mismatched gradient. âChoose my own name?â
âYou donât have to. I just thought it might be a nice idea. V seemsâŚâ Your cheeks heat up at the memory of the curl of his lips when heâd shown you the meaning behind his alias, how his tongue had shined under the purple lights of the club. âWell, you didnât get to choose it, right? Itâs a nom de plume, rather than a real name.â
Vâs LED flickers yellow, a sunflower that blooms on his temple. âIâll⌠Iâll think about it.â
âGood!â Your smile is wide. âOkay, how about I teach you how to wash dishes?â
V is, unsurprisingly, a fast learner. The only time he stumbles over things is when heâs presented with any sort of choice, taking his time to come to a decision when heâs posed a question, no matter how simple it is. His eyes will flick to you whenever he settles on an answer, as if waiting for you to say heâs wrong or that you disagree.
(Of course, you never do.)
This fact does, however, mean that choosing clothes to buy becomes a very, very long ordeal (itâs lucky you didnât have any plans for today). You end up flopped back on the sofa while V hunches over your tablet, mulling over each choice before he puts it in the cartâbut youâre happy to wait. V is going to need a lot more practice at choosing things.Â
The room is upside down from where your head is hanging over the armrest, eyes falling shut as time goes by, completely zoned out and comfortable despite the crick thatâs growing in your neck. You hear V shifting, tablet set aside, and you hum.
âAll done?â
âI think so.â
âNice.â You feel content.
But then youâre ripped out of that warm feeling, shooting back to reality at the sensation of Vâs hand stroking down the centre of your chest. Your head snaps up, eyes wide as he drags his large palm between the valley of your breasts, path smoothed by the material of your shirt. The expression on his face is sultry.
âLet me say thank you,â he murmurs, voice dripping thick and sweet, dark molasses.
You promptly roll off the sofa.
Once again, you end up on your back, staring at the ceiling. Once again, the expression on Vâs face is one of concern, his seductive facade evaporated in an instant.
Once again your heart is ready to burst in your chest, pumping so hard that blood rushes in your ears. âV,â you wheeze. âWhat are you doing?â
The android is peering down at you, puzzled. âSometimes customers would say that at the Eden Club after I had given them pleasure somehow, such as bringing them to orgasm. I thought it was human custom to repay pleasure or happiness with something in return.âÂ
Ah.Â
âAh.â Youâre still staring at the ceiling, cheeks burning. âI mean. I guess thatâs not technically incorrect, but it doesnât necessarily have to be a, uh, sexual repayment.âÂ
âI have nothing else to offer,â V says.
You sit up. Your face is a caricature of disbelief, embarrassment washed away in an instant, his words cold water that shocks you to the core. He states it so plainly, and once again youâre reminded of his life up until heâd made his way to your door: an automaton who existed solely for peopleâs pleasure, to slake their desire and lust. Heâs not being self-pitying. He really, truly believes thatâs all he is. That itâs all he can give back to the world.
âOkay, no, thatâs absolutely not true, nuh-uh, I refuse.â This time you unfold yourself from the floor without Vâs help, fixing him with a firm stare. âAlright, come on. I think itâs time you learned something else.â
One of the reasons youâd chosen this apartment is for its natural light. Not that it matters right now, weather outside still dismal and overcast, but its effect on this room is still palpable even soâgrey, rain-soaked light throws itself over your small home studio, your menagerie of equipment, everything bright with the evidence of use: the worn buckles of the wooden storage boxes, the dried smears on the paint palette, the flecks of colour on the dust sheets underfoot. The centre of it allâthe eye of the tornado, untouched by the relative chaos around itâis the canvas waiting on your easel, a project you have yet to start.
V looks utterly enraptured.
âI donât really come in here as much as Iâd like,â you admit. Being a graphic designer is worlds away from the sort of art you love to create, and while itâs a job you genuinely enjoy (and also pays well), it leaves you drained and fills your brain with tired static, little energy left to lavish on your personal works. âBut this is where the magic happens. And this is where youâre going to Make Art.â
V freezes. âThe only things I know about art are the things you told me when we first met.â He looks equal parts excited but also troubled. âIââ
âYou donât need to know about art to make art,â you say. âI didnât know jack about art when I was a kid and I was constantly just scribbling away with crayons. Was it good? No. I was a kid with zero pen control, it was pretty crap. Was it worth my time? Yes, because any time spent involved in a craft is never wasted. We can learn more about art history and technique later.â
V stays quiet as you loop your apron over his head, rough material still bearing the remnants of your last works, stains that wonât come out. Oil based paints are kind of a bitch like that.
âI donât know what to paint,â he says.
âThatâs okay. You donât have to,â you reply, an echo of his earlier words.
V looks lost, barefoot in your studio, in your clothes, your apron, holding onto your wooden paint palette, in front of your easel. Everything in here is yours. Everything, that is, apart from him, whatever is in his mind and heart.
âWhere do I start?â Vâs eyes are imploring as he looks at you, but for the first time today, your voice is firm.
âWherever you want. There arenât any rules. Just do whatever you think would be fun. It doesnât have to look good, V, youâve just started.â
Youâve seen paintings made by androids before. Theyâre always perfect recreations of the world around them, exact replicas of the things theyâve been told to depict on the pageâthe androids are basically glorified photocopiers, unable to create something original and new.Â
But theyâre not V. They donât have that spark of curiosity and light inside them, unhampered by the programming thatâs meant to keep them in place. His LED dances from yellow to blue, yellow to blue, the rest of his body motionless while the light on his temple is a tumult of movement and colour.
Dark eyes slide over the array of paint hanging from a rack on the wall, some metal tubes more crushed than others, evidence of your preferred shadesâyou notice how his gaze lingers on the midnight tones, red and blue tinted purples, from lavender to lilac, from plum to wine.
V gives you one more look, a little upturn to his thick browsâalmost pleadingâand you just gesture with your hand.
âGo for it,â you say.
Your wooden palette becomes home to a riot of purple, each tube squeezed empty with careful hands, far more paint than anyone could possibly ever need. V keeps flicking you glances, but you stay silent, perched on a wooden chair by the now open window, rain-slick air a cold breath on your skin.
The brush the android selects is a wide, bold thing, bristles rough. He handles it like bone china, delicate and liable to shatter any moment, cautious as he dips it into the paintâitâs so wide it picks up three separate shadesâand he holds his breath as he brings it up, even if he doesnât have lungs.
The second the bristles touch the canvas, Vâs LED flickers red.
Just for an instant.
He swoops the brush down the canvas as he pulls it away, eyes wide, leaving a slash of purples in its wake. The white material is marred with colour, a textured line of pigment that canât be erased.Â
The android pauses as he takes the sight in. Heâs still for so long that youâre worried heâs shut down, even with the endlessly dancing circle of his LEDâ
But then V laughs.Â
His laugh is loud and bright and free, a series of deep, almost surprised chuckles that grow in intensity and breathlessness, staring at this smear of drying acrylic paint in front of him. The smile on his face is the widest youâve seen so far, his eyes squeezed into crescents of joy, spilling out of him like light.
âI did that.â He looks at you with that gilded smile, a fresco of delight across the perfection of his features. âI made that.â
âYou did.â You canât help but smile back, your own face split with happiness. You continue to smile as he brings the brush back to the palette, and then to the canvas, dragging the bristles across its surface and leaving more purple behind; the shades swirl and mix as he lays colour without a care for technique or clean lines or form, scooping up the endless amounts of acrylic heâd prepared. By the time heâs finished, the canvas is bumpy with daubs of paint, laid messily by joyful hands, a few bold streaks of unmarred colour surrounded by swirling purples.Â
The smile hasnât left Vâs face the whole time.
His brush is absolutely saturated, paint clinging to every inch of bristle, from toe to belly to heel. You have no doubt that no matter how much you clean that brush itâll leak purple into the water, an endless reminder of Vâs touch. Itâs lax in his grasp as he keeps looking at the canvas, his canvas, smile etched into his face as his LED flows soft blue, content.
You canât remember the last time you saw someone so elated, buoyed up with the excitement of creation, making something out of nothing, discovering how it feels to bring something into existence, pulling it out of the ether. Making something new. Making something their own. It stirs something in your chest and stomach, reminding you why you love art so much. Why youâve always loved art. (Why you always will.)
âI made that,â V repeats, his voice a reverent hush. Awestruck.
âItâs beautiful,â you say, because it isâfor a multitude of reasons. The reason that sings out to you the most, though, is that itâs the cause of happiness that dances across his face: V, a carved candle, a piece of art made with skilled hands, self-made joy finally catching fire at his wick.
âThank you,â V says, and you blink.
âFor what?â
âFor giving me this,â he starts, but before you can interject and point out that you didnât give him this, he made it, he continues: âFor giving me⌠freedom. To do this. And make this. And learn this.â
The smile that spreads across your face is warm hearth fire. âI didnât give you freedom, V, you gave that to yourself, but Iâm happy to help you any way I can. Now, would you like to keep painting, or would you prefer to help me make dinner?â
He chooses dinner, never leaving your side.
Sunday is nice. There's less messy limbed surprise than on Saturday, although youâre still off kilter when you wake up with your head in Vâs lap again, but⌠itâs nice.Â
You thought heâd spend the night painting, or drawing, or teaching himself something new using the free rein youâd given him with your computer and notebooks and stationery and art suppliesâhe doesnât have to waste time with sleep, like you doâbut he hadnât. Heâd climbed into your bed, settling against the pillows just like the night before, looking at you with his big, lovely eyes.
So here he is.
(And here you are.)
Itâs cosy and comfortable, even if the feeling of warm skin under warm cotton against your cheek sets your heart to racing, Vâs dark eyes even warmer when you roll over to look at his face.
âMorning,â he says.
âMorning,â you reply, and then you yawn, Vâs lashes fluttering as he takes in the motion. âWhat time is it?â
Todayâs rain is less of an endless downpour and more of an inconsistent drizzle, grey blanket slowly peeling away from the edges of the city, but it doesnât matter, because youâre inside for most of the day, anyway. Saturday was hands-on, messy with acrylic and spilled coffee and laundry detergent (V really wants to learn everything), but Sunday is hands-off. You spend the day dredging the corners of your memory and scrolling through old, untouched files from your university years, so you can teach V the things he wants to know while relearning the things youâd forgotten yourself.
Vâs little LED dances forever from blue into yellow, ocean waves lapping into sand, a shifting tide as he takes in your words. Youâve never had to teach someone before and youâre admittedly pretty terrible at it, but he never complains, the worldâs most attentive and adorable student, sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his hair mussed and his eyes wide, drinking down everything you show him.
You only leave the apartment once. Lunch is delayed when you open your fridge and remember how bereft and sad it is inside, so you venture out into the rain to the nearby supermarketâV opts to stay indoors, LED flickering red at the idea of being caught, shying back.
You leave him looking lost and lonely before the door even finishes swinging shut behind you, long limbs looking even longer in your clothes, but somehow still so small.
âI wonât be long,â you promise.
When you get back, you return not only with bags of food but also clothes, Vâs order from yesterday already shipped and delivered. He can finally replace your too-small clothing with things heâs chosen himself. Itâs a fumble to get in the door, but the android is waiting for you, swinging it open and catching the bag you nearly drop in surprise.
âI have your clothes,â you announce. âIâll put away the shopping while you try them on?â
Youâre going to have to tattoo a reminder on your forehead about Vâs relationship (or lack thereof) with clothes, because of course he takes this as an invitation to start stripping before youâve even had a chance to take your shoes off.Â
He does that thing where he grabs the back of his (your) shirt and pulls it over his head in one swift motion, curls of hair a cloud of smoke that settles around his face as the shirt is cast aside; youâre frozen in place as he reaches for the knot of his sweatpantâs drawstring, long fingers pulling it loose, but you let out a sharp meep just as his fingers hook into the waistband of them.
âPleasewaituntilIâmnotrightinfrontofyouthankyou,â you gasp all at once, words incoherent as they slide together, but V understands. He tilts his head at you inquisitively although he (thankfully) stops.
âDonât you want to see the clothes?â
âI do, but, uh, for humans itâs normally customary to only get entirely naked or change clothes when youâre alone.â Your heart is going to burst out of your chest with how fast itâs racing. Without the string to cinch the sweatpants tight theyâre starting to fall a little, revealing the delicate lines of his hip bones, and coupled with the reappearance of Vâs bare stomach, your brain is going into meltdown. âSo justâjust give me a sec to go to the kitchen, okay? Youâre probably better off changing in the bedroom, anyway, so you can use the full length mirror to see how you look.â
âOkay,â he says, but then: âDo humans never undress around others unless theyâre planning to have sex?â
Your mouth falls open before you pause, words halting on your lips as you try to think of the best way to phrase your answer. âWell, we do, itâs not just about sex, but itâs usually only if youâre really comfortable with the other person youâre with, and theyâre comfortable with you.â
âIâm comfortable with you,â V states plainly, and your insides turn to jelly. âAre you not comfortable with me?â
Oh, hell. âI am, I am! Iâm just, uh⌠Iâve not really had a lot of practice with nakedness around other people.â What a way to put that youâre a shy ass virgin when it comes to real life nudity and sex, huh. âSo letâs just keep it to a minimum for now, okay? Please?â
The androidâs LED flickers honey-sweet on his temple as he looks at you, before his hands fall away from the sweatpants. âOkay.â
(Thank God.)
Youâre not sure what youâre expecting to see when V starts to present his small array of outfits to you, butâhe looks effortlessly stylish in the oversized clothes heâs selected, a muted palette of brown and yellow and red and cream, a cup of hot chocolate on an autumn day. He might be new to all this but his eye for aesthetic is impeccable. You have no doubt that the more he learns, the better heâll get, hop-skip-jumps ahead of you, even after years of art education.
Heâs even bought pyjamas, dark tartan patterns masculine but also adorable; itâs an utter juxtaposition to the tighter, sensual clothing heâd been given at the Eden Club.
âYou look really good,â you tell him. Your voice is only a little strained. He smiles.
The outfit V wears for the rest of the afternoon is perfect for a rainy day spent indoors, thick jumper and tawny trousers, a blend of sepia tones. He looks like if you made a hug into a person: all soft edges and cosy and wrapped up in warmth.
And V is warm. Youâre not sure if itâs a lingering memory of his programming, a carry over from his start in life as a sexbot, but he likes to touchânothing inappropriate or overbearing, but heâs not shy about stepping into your personal space, brushing the back of your hand with his fingers as he points at something on the screen, or pressing close to your side as you cook, or just one of the hundreds of other tiny touches that heâs littered across you throughout the day. Itâs thoughtless on his part, LED not even flickering, but each time is just another reminder of his warmth, the blue blood pulsing under his skin, how alive he is.
(And the truth is that you enjoy those touches. Youâre not used to them, but lord knows youâre touch starved, so as fleeting as they are, theyâre nice.)
Even though you still leave plenty of space between the two of you when you lay to sleep, you swear you can feel the heat spilling off V, another warm body in the bed thatâs so used to just one. Though he stays sitting up, heâs in his cute matching pyjamas, and itâs⌠itâs a lot. Youâve invited V into your homeâand you donât regret itâbut after two days heâs already settled in in a way you never thought anyone else would, as entirely unconventional as the whole situation is. (Youâre not sure how many people have sheltered a deviant android in their homes, though, so maybe this isnât as unconventional as you think. Who knows? Not you.)
âI have to go to work tomorrow.â
V tilts his head down to look at you.
âYou can get up to whatever youâd like,â you continue. Youâre propped up on an elbow so itâs less intimate than if youâd been on your back and staring upwards like you were waiting for him to slide down next to you (thatâs what it feels like, to you, anyway). âYou know the password for my computer now, and youâre welcome to watch TV or play games or whatever, and you can use all my stuff in the studio. I mean, other than painting or drawing over stuff Iâve already finished, but youâre welcome to grab any paper or canvases if you want them. I think thatâs everything? But please let me know if thereâs more you want or need, okay?â
Blink, blink. His lashes are soft charcoal that frames the spilled ink of his gaze. In the dimmed light of your room V is unreadable, his LED a quiet blue glow on his temple, but he looks soft, and he looks safe, and he nods.
âAlright,â he says. A smile that flickers at the edge of his lips. âI will.â
(You wake up, quiet and slow, face pillowed against Vâs thigh, still drifting in sleep. You make a small noise, eyes shut, wondering why thereâs no blaring sound of your alarm, but then a large hand smooths over your hair and you instinctively relax under the soft touch.
âYou have thirty three minutes until youâre due to wake up,â he murmurs. âYou can go back to sleep.â
So you do.)
(When you wake up to the scream of your alarm thirty three minutes later, you donât remember any of this. All you can think of is the dawn of another Monday, the slog of another working week, and you sigh. Butâ
âMorning.â
Vâs eyes are dark meok ink, liquid earth that grounds you.
âMorning,â you say, smiling despite yourself, and then roll out of bed to get the whole day started.)
Youâre used to spending a day surrounded by laughter and banter, wrapped up in the camaraderie of your co-workers and friends, only to return to a world of quiet solitude. Youâre used to coming home to rooms that are untouched from the morning, holding onto the echo of your passing, still and waiting for your return, an apartment of motionless air.
But not today. Thereâs evidence of someone else here: the open door to your studio down the hall, the scattered books on the coffee table, the mess of cushions on the sofa, all small signs that someone has been moving and living in your absence. A still-life thatâs shifted into a breathing trompe lâoeil, Vâs presence bringing flatness into perspective, turning it into something real.
Itâs⌠nice.
You flop onto the sofa and send one of those cushions overboard, tumbling to the ground. V appears in the doorway moments later, new apron already streaked with colour, copper green thumbprint on his face like heâd touched it in thought and not realised. A little streak of paint that draws the eye to his lovely chin.
âWelcome home!â His hair is blond today, a golden nimbus around his face, though his eyes are still dark. Light and shadow. His happiness is infectious and you smile helplessly back, glad for his excitement with paintingâbut it seems like he hasnât finished. âIâm happy youâre home. I missed you.â
KO. Wipeout. Your heart turns to liquid in your chest, burnt sugar that dribbles hot and saccharine through your ribs.Â
âI chose a name.â V continues, oblivious to how heâs turned your insides into syrup, and you abruptly sit up.
âOh?âÂ
âTaehyung.â The way he says it, in his deep voice, those two syllables are endlessâa single name, heavy with the weight of meaning behind it. A shedding of his old skin, one that was forced on him, leaving him pink-skinned and new and free.
âTaehyung,â you repeat, and his LED flickers at the sound falling off your lips. âTaehyung. Itâs lovely.â
Heâs smiling, that lovely toothy smile that youâve already decided is your favourite out of any smile youâve seen, his LED electric blue and swirling in delight.Â
Day after day, you wake up to the sight of that LED glowing as Taehyung watches you lift up out of sleep. Night after night, you come home to his lovely, big grin, all large hands and soft hairâhair that he chooses to change colour when he pleases, a dizzying palette with every shade you can dream of. Heâs bright and deep, playful and reflective, a dance of flirty Rococo to more solemn Baroque, every day another day where he learns and grows and adds another facet to the cut diamond of his personality.Â
(It hasnât been long but youâre starting to think youâd put the world in the palm of his hand, if you could.)
You never thought youâd live to see the day where someone as lovely as Taehyung would be glad to see you home, having missed you after being apartâbut for all that heâs voraciously leaning into the arts, consuming everything from visual to literary to performance, heâs never happier than when youâre there too. He shows you his works, improvement obvious with every new piece, but his excitement grows tenfold when you start to paint alongside him; seeing him so joyful spurs you to pick your brushes up again, buoyed up with motivation in the face of his own.Â
(Your studio is usually quiet, a little reflective maybe, the only sound the music you play over your speakersâbut now more often than not you and Taehyung will talk, and laugh, and even if youâve both ebbed into silence, itâs never heavy. Itâs a held breath. The potential to speak any moment. The sensation of another person in the same space as you, an orbit, both existing in a shared moment, connected by gossamer threads that shimmer with sunlight.
Taehyungâs eyes are steady on his canvas as he works, but he glances at you through the curl of his lashes, smiling back at you. Always, always smiling, LED calm blue as the rest of his face shines golden, bright.)
(Maybe itâs selfish, but you think you could get used to this.)
taglist: @beyoncesdragonâ
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