#dazai introduces sigma to atsushi and akutagawa throws a barber at them and watches them scream

[ivoryratdoggerythethird]

i don't want much in life i just need the mersault prison gang in a polycule with episodic silly shenanigans and cute dates like the boyfriends webtoon style or a "keeping up with the convicts" show like is that too much to ask for.

i love them all so much i need the weird little clique dynamics. like, chuuya and sigma are the “nice ones”, so to speak, except when it comes to dazai and nikolai respectively. dazai and fyodor are still in a dick measuring contest and the others are so Over It. nikolai and dazai get along a bit too well and it is a Threat for public safety and sigma's sanity.

no one could actually tell if chuuya liked them at first besides dazai crowing he wanted to be their wife for realsies, don't worry about it, he loves you guys. spoiler alert chuuya does love them but they need time to get past him using sigma to play basketball and laughing at fyodor almost dying.

sigma isn't allowed to open the cookie jar without permission because he's three. fyodor isn't allowed to understand memes because he's older than time or something no one really knows no one cares. he may be the fossil to end all fossils but chuuya WILL smack his wrist like a misbehaving child when he or dazai get too handsy

they like dancing together and singing to each other in their native tongues and can end up sleeping dogpiled practically anywhere; chuuya has one of those massive fancy circular beds in his penthouse and fyodor has a castle on a mountainside he takes them to on vacations that no one questions because no one (except nikolai) would like the answer

ughhhhhhh they can even throw surprises dates for each other like the DoA trio arranging a tailored date for skk on the day they met and vice versa for the anniversary of forming the DoA, something for the days fyodor met sigma and nikolai, the first time fyozai learned there was someone else like them

occasionally they do something nice for chuusig so they can get their nails done together and complain about creepy demon geniuses trying to kill or kiss them and also their whacky origin stories.