#david dobrik and josh peck

[abbadoabbadon]

just things I've seen in random places online and found it weird / interesting and maybe others will as well

In 2015-2023

Josh Peck gets married

Drake has a meltdown on twitter about not being invited causing a slew of drama

A "source" claims that Dan Schneider was invited to the wedding but take that with a grain of tiny tiny tiny salt.

The very next day after the news broke that Josh did not invite Drake to the wedding Dan posts a weird throwback behind the scenes photo from Drake and Josh of Drake where in the scene he is preparing egg yolks for cooking.

Attention was drawn back on "An Open Secret" in an article about the struggle it took to even get it out for people to watch

The Daily Mail UK wrote an article about Brian Peck, openly calling him a registered s/o pedophile and bringing up An Open Secret in the article.

Drake Bell is in a movie called Cover Versions

Josh is a member of the David Dobrik friend group on youtube around this time because it was before David Dobrik was outed for "allegedly" nearly getting someone killed while filming one of his videos

Josh actually made a number of videos with Drake during this period of time despite the fact that Josh claims they hadn't spoken in 15 years prior to Bell's outburst on twitter.

A zoey101 reboot was announced at an anniversary event, Alexa Nikolas was not invited to reunite with the cast, Dan Schneider was there.

Speaking of Alexa, 2018 was when she formally and publicly called out Nickolodeon and Dan for toxic sets and an environment that was unsafe to children.

Neds Declassified actors call Alexa out and imply she's just dramatic and making shit up

A formal investigation into Dan Schneider was launched in 2018, by the end of that year he was "quietly" let go and allegedly they gave him a lot of money upon his departure

Drake Bell starts releasing new music in mid 2018, he is interviewed by PEOPLE magazine, in this time period he does a lot of press, like actual press, not podcasts like he does now as he claims that no actual news places will have him as an interview.

Also in 2018, Brian Robbins stepped down as CEO of Nickolodeon and Butch Hartman (Fairly Odd Parents) left the network as well.

Josh has a baby with his wife, in late 2018, he publishes a photo on Instagram of Drake hanging out with the newborn.

Billboard music magazine interviews Drake on his new music

Jane Doe calls the cops and files a report against Drake Bell.

Drake cancels all upcoming concerts and shows during the length of the investigation.

Drake goes through this investigation and in the mean time he is still trying to release music, it is assumed at this time his finances were not good due, there is a rumor about a Drake and Josh revival in mid... to late 2019?

There is a rumor based on a Mexican meme where his fans from Mexico started calling him Drake Campana (which is bell in spanish), this happens in 2020 so I think it's funny that people claim that he changed his name and fled to Mexico in 2021 when these things happened before that, and another one is the talking point that people say Josh was distancing himself from Drake because of the child endangerment charge but the wedding incident was in 2017. Years prior to the public 2021 case.

There are social media posts about Drake Bell "changing his name to Campana after finding musical sucess in mexico", in 2020.... before the "fled to mexico" rumor started. There were also multiple articles stating that Drake Bell changed his name and moved to Mexico, rebranding himself based on the fact that his music was more popular there.

Drake promotes his "Lost Album" in early 2020

In late summer 2020, Drake's ex comes forward with allegations about domestic violence

Around this time, Dan Schneider allegedly has his lawyers try to get into contact with Alexa

COVID stuff puts a hamper on a lot of things, Drake starts doing at home instagram live singing sessions.

Dan had announced in early 2020 something about a project he was working on and that he was ready to get back to making shows.

Josh Peck distances himself from David Dobrik during this period due to allegations against David from multiple people, another person in the vlog squad was accused of SA so that probably didn't make Josh wanna stick around

A ton of articles pop up about Drake changing his name and moving to mexico, it stops being about him finding an audience for his music and people start to speculate it's because of allegations from his ex.

This starts to spread like wildfire on twitter and other social media platforms.

a pretty damning NYT article about Dan Schnider is posted online. noting that Dan does not update socials often anymore and is rarely seen out in public, the project he was working on in 2020 seemed to have not worked out.

Information regarding Drake's arrest come to light in 2021, the allegations against him from Jane Doe also come to light and the internet goes wild over it, tons of gossip articles and youtube channels post about it.

a 2021 article comes out about Dan, he responds to allegations of misconduct on the sets of his shows.

Kimmy Robertson hangs out with Brian Peck, shamelessly uploading a photo of them together.

The Jane Doe case is closed when Drake accepts the charges of child endangerment / attempted, and sending "texts of a sexual nature" to a minor (just putting it in quotes because that's how his defense said it)

Although the case is closed, the internet does not and start to make memes and calling Drake a predator, pdf, r*pst on any and all social media he has.

Alexa Nikolas takes legal action against her ex for SA, she also continues to call out Dan and nickolodeon, earning her a reputation from others as "overreacting" and "dramatic"

Sloan makes a video about Drake Bell, talking about the 2021 allegations but also bringing up Brian Peck, heavily "hinting" in his video that Drake is the John Doe from the 2003 case

Drake tries contact with Sloan to get the video removed, Sloan makes a bunch of weird videos about how he's being threatened and intimidated, he does not remove the video, he makes more videos on Drake and the 2021 allegations as well as bringing up the allegations from his ex(es)

Josh Peck and Drake Bell's on again off again "feud" shows up in the form of Josh claiming they hadn't talked in 15 years and that he "Had a tony soprano moment" at the VMAs in 2017, claiming he says "go apologize to my wife" regarding the wedding drama from 2017. Drake and his then wife Janet have one episode of their podcast discussing this and the failed D&J revival.

in 2022 Drake Bell was spotted in flordia allegedly huffing in the car with his baby in the back seat (oof dude wtf)

Alexa Nikolas amidst the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial drama starts doing her livestreams about exposing SA and more in hollywood.

Drake Bell gets more news stories surrounding his "odd behavior" and online spaces are still calling him a r*pist and p*do,

In 2023 Amanda Bynes has a mental breakdown and flags a car down to call 911, she is placed on a psych hold.

A few weeks later Drake Bell goes missing in Malibu, the police start looking for him and consider him to be "in danger" as some of these articles allege that he had sent upsetting text messages to his mother, and when he wasn't answering his phone, his brother calls the cops.

It's revealed that he was texting his mother, upset about things regarding his child visits as he and his wife had broken up some time before this but decided to co parent their son.

He is seen several times huffing in his car

There are screenshots from alleged conversations by Drake in his own discord, talking about how he's tired of being called a r*pist and that it'll never end.

His wife files for divorce officially

At this point he checks himself into rehab.

.

[welcometojackass2022]

Is there a famous YouTuber than Steve-O HASNT collabed with?? I was watching some video of Josh Peck with the vlog squad (not a fan of them OR David Dobrik, just wanted to see Josh Peck) and I was thinking to myself “man Steve-O would do crazy shit for their vlogs” and then BOOM. FUCKING STEVE-O. HES JUST THERE. BRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

[saintlaurentproblems]

I feel the same way about Josh Peck. Sometimes I like him, and then sometimes I'm like "Hmm....??" I think what it is for me is just that he still gives off that insecure-child vibe and seems almost needy for that validation, doing or saying whatever necessary for that result. I don't even know if it's a thing of needing to be liked by the public as much as it is from the people in his personal life or whoever he's hanging out. But because he's in the entertainment industry, that becomes public.

I love his podcast with Ben. His interview with Hilary Duff was really good. I do side eye him since he still associates himself with David Dobrik. He definitely has that typically Hollywood child star syndrome.

[prettydobrik]

SOOOOOOFT

[mrs-dobrik]

Keep It Down

David

Summary: “imagine the vlog squad walking into David’s house and hearing your moans.”

Words: 1,3 K

Warning: smut, filthy, filthy, smut.

David has just woken you up with kisses peppering your bare shoulder. His hands ran down your back causing goosebumps to appear on your skin as the cold rings sent shivers down your spine. His hand landed on your bum, holding it and kneading it as you shifted to face him. You had crazy bed hair and a sleepy smile but your legs still intertwined as you leant in to kiss him.

“Mm g’morning.” You mumbled, smiling into the kiss.

He hummed in response and gave your shoulder a little push before rolling on top of you. You giggled, still half awake as you wrapped your arms around his neck with your hands finding themselves raked through his messy hair. He retracted his lips from yours and started placing sloppy kisses on your jaw, neck and collarbones. You giggled as his hands brushed up and down your sides and his kisses landed on sweet spots. Goosebumps started washing over your skin as he tickled you and because the sheets had disappeared from your half bare body.

He shifted lower and looked up at you eagerly as he found your nipples hard from the goosebumps, you giggled at his silly reaction but soon sighed after he took one in his mouth. You played with his hair, encouraging him more. With his other hand he gave your other boob a squeeze before tracing his thumb over your nipple. You sighed again, causing him to smirk up at you. He placed another kiss on your lips and dragged a hand down to the hem of your panties. You stomach fluttered but he teasingly avoided what you wanted and started tracing soft circles over your thighs.

“Dave,” you whines desperately, “please.”

“Please what, bub?” He teased with a kiss, “Use your words.”

“Please touch me.” You whines as he continued to rub your inner thighs.

On your requests he pulls your thighs apart and traced a finger over your clothed slit, your hips bucked up trying to get more but he pushed them back down. He dragged a finger up and down your slit a few more times before pulling off your panties. He pressed a kiss to your pussy and then returned back to lay alongside you. He kissed your lips as his fingers slipped between your folds, making you moan into the kiss.

“So wet already angel?” He asked as he slid a finger in your dripping pussy. You moaned lowly and nodded for him.

He pulled his finger out and circled it against your clit before going back to put two fingers in your cunt. “Fuck baby, you so tight, you’re already stretching on my fingers.” He moaned as he entered you.

He pumped the two fingers in and out of you agonizingly slow, making you whine and whimper, “David please,” you begged as you moved your hips trying to make his movements greater, “harder, faster, something, please.”

He smirked and gave your neck a few kisses, still maintaining his slow pace. He shifted up so that his face hovered over yours, he looked you in your eyes and pulled his fingers out till only the last knuckle was inside you. He then slammed them back in making you moan loudly and tense up in pleasure.

He pumped his fingers into your pussy faster and placed his thumb between your folds allowing it to rub against your clit every time he pumped into you. You moaned and whimpered as he pleasured

you. He started pumping into you even faster making you want to start screaming in pleasure but you bit back your screams, letting only moans escape you.

You were suddenly disturbed by David’s phone ringing. He pulled his fingers out of you before leaning over to his side table, causing you to whine. “Who is it?” You groan.

“Just Jason, don’t worry about it. I’ll see what he wants later.” He said almost breathless before bringing his attention back to you.

He gave you a deep kiss before pulling back and sitting on his knees. He pushed two fingers into your pussy again making you arch your back. He then pumped them in and out a few times before he leant down and started placing sloppy kisses to your clit. “Oh fuck,” you moaned out as he licked your clit and started curling his fingers up into your g-spot.

He curled his fingers faster and licked your slit before adding a third finger and stretching your pussy. “You’re doing so good baby.” He hummed as he flicked his tongue over your clit. You moaned and lifted your hips making him hold you down with his free hand.

“Hold it baby, let me fuck you.” He cooed as he pulled away from your pussy. You whimpered and lifted your hips, trying to gain contact. He chuckled as he pulled his underwear down, freeing his hard cock.

His precum dripping from the tip already as he pumped himself a few times before aligning himself with your entrance. He slammed into you, causing both of you moan as you held onto each other.

He thrusted in you fast and shallowly as he teased the tip of his cock, he took your hands and held them above your head, watching you whine as your craved his cock to full you.

“Harder!” You groaned as he still kept missing your sweet spots purposely.

“Say it nicely princesses.” He smirked and circled his thumb on your clit.

You hummed, appreciating the contact, “please fuck me harder Dave.”

He kissed you and started slamming his cock into you deeper and faster. You arched your back as a low groan left your lips and he let go of your wrists. You wrapped your arms around him as your nails scratched his back as he fucked his cock into you recklessly. His dick now pressing and brushing on the walls of your tight cunt, reaching your g-spot with every thrust. Your vision became hazy as your pleasure overwhelmed you.

“You taking me so well baby, such a pretty girl,” he praised as he felt your cunt starting to clench around his cock. “You gonna cum for me?” He hummed as his fingers found your clit again.

Arching you’re back and moaning, your eyes hooded as your mind became blank as the pleasure intensified.

“That’s it babygirl,” he cooed still slamming his cock into you, “milk my big dick.”

A pornographic moan left your lips as the first wave of your orgasm hit you. Your back arched against the bed and your nails dragged down David’s back as he took the chance to fuck you harder, only intensifying your orgasm. “Oh fuck, David! Fuck, please, fuck!” Your moans filled the room.

You started reaching the end of your orgasm as David reached his high, he thrust into you a few more times before you felt his cock twitch inside you, filling you with his cum. He groaned lowly and pulled out of you before pushing a finger into you and gathering up his cum and bringing it to your lips. You opened your mouth and sucked on his finger as he smiled at you.

“Such a good little slut.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead before gathering you up into a big cuddle for a few moments.

After cleaning up and giving each other plenty of cuddles you both got up to get coffee and some breakfast. He opened the bedroom door and you followed behind him but soon stumbled into his back as he stopped walking.

“Good morning guys.” Jason chuckled as Zane and Heath laughed along.

“Have fun?” Jeff teased causing you and David to gain a bright blush.

“Shut the fuck up,” David chuckled, pulling you into him and walking into the kitchen, “Get out my house, at least I’m getting some!” He fought back, the rest of the group chuckled.

“You definitely doing something right by the sounds of it.” Corinna teased making everyone crack up again.

“You should start answering your phone more often.” Jason teased as David flipped him off.

[fanficimagery]

Ba-by Vlog doo doo, doo doo doo doo

Summary: Imagine being part of the inner circle of friends that's known as the Vlog Squad. You've known Zane the longest, but his friends became yours instantly when introduced. You've been there for them through all their ups and downs, so you're not exactly surprised when they insert themselves into this next chapter of your life.

Words: 4.7K Warnings: Language.

For the passed few weeks you've felt like utter crap. You've had no energy, you were constantly nauseous, and the small bean growing in your womb caused a big fight with your boyfriend of three years that ended with him walking out on you.

Your friends have been calling and coming over to check on you, but you weren't in the mood to hang out, especially while they filmed their bits because it usually involved something outrageous and you didn't want to chance being hurt.

But apparently, Zane has had enough of your excuses.

[unlock ur door. omw.]

You had sighed at his text, but did as you were told. Then falling back on the couch, you awaited his arrival.

Fifteen minutes later, your front door is being opened.

"Baby," Zane groans. "What is you doing? It's three in the afternoon, you're still in pajamas, and you look like death."

You smile weakly at him. "Love you too, bitch. And I'm tired. I haven't been feeling well."

"Well get up and get showered. We're having a kick-back at David's and everyone misses you."

"I don't know, Zane. I honestly don't feel so good."

"It's because you've been cooped up alone all week. Now come on!" He steps around your couch and grabs your hands, he then yanking you into a standing position.

The moment you get your bearings and inhale deeply, you get a whiff of something that upsets your stomach. Gulping down the sudden rush of saliva in your mouth, you lean back with a grimace. "Zane, is that- why do you smell like bacon?"

"Because I got hungry. Duh."

"No, Zane," you say, stepping away from him and covering your mouth and nose with your hand. "I can't- back away. "

You cough and gag, and turn to rush out of the room. You've barely made it to the bathroom, falling to your knees and throwing open the lid to the toilet before barfing your guts out. You stay there until you're done vomiting, only to flush the toilet and fall back on your butt.

Zane is standing in the doorway, expression curious. "Y/N, what's going on?"

Shakily wiping your mouth with the back of your hand, your eyes tear up as you meet Zane's gaze. "I-I'm pregnant."

A beat passes and then the most brilliant smile takes over his expression. "Oh my god! My baby is having a baby!?" Weakly grinning, you nod and then stand to rinse your mouth out at the sink. After doing so, Zane pulls you into a careful hug. "Is that why you haven't been hanging with us?"

"Yeah. Well that and the fact that Dillion split after hearing the news. Apparently having a baby was too much for him."

Zane tenses and when you pull back to look at his expression your heart softens towards your friend. "I'm going to kill him."

You huff. "No you're not. He's long gone by now. Probably went back home to his mother in Texas."

"I can't believe that asshole!"

"What's done is done. Let it go."

"The others are going to be pissed, Y/N. I can't believe you kept all this bottled up."

"Let me tell them," you say. "The pregnancy has to be kept under wraps until after the first trimester is over, but the news about Dillion.."

"Yeah. Okay." Zane glances around and then, "Why wait until after the first trimester? How long is a trimester?"

"I'm a bit superstitious," you shrug, smiling sheepishly. "The first three months of a pregnancy are crucial. This is the time where chances of a miscarriage happening are at its highest. I don't want to tell everyone I'm pregnant and then something happens, and then everyone is walking on eggshells around me."

Zane hums. "I get that. But three months? I'm gonna die keeping this secret!"

"Shut up." You playfully swat at him, but then quickly backpedal when you get a whiff of bacon again. "Jesus. I've only known about the peanut for three weeks and he's already turned me against bacon. I really hope he or she doesn't make me eat weird shit."

"I don't know about you, but I'm excited to see you hormonal and crying at every little thing."

"Fuck my life," you groan. "This is gonna be a tough three months. Our friends are gonna be suspicious as fuck."

"Yeah they are. Now go get dressed and drive your ass to David's. I would drive you, but I don't want you barfing in my car."

"And if I barf at David's?"

Zane shrugs. "Food poisoning? If they ask about your absence, just admit to the breakup and make up an excuse about not processing it as quickly as you thought."

"You know what? That's actually not a bad idea."

"Obviously."

"Don't gloat. Now get going. I'll be there in half an hour."

"You better or I'm gonna stir the pot and convince the boys to fly out to Texas to confront Dillion."

"God you suck. Go. I'll be there."

The first three months pass fairly easily. The morning and afternoon sickness is easily remedied by your doctor, and now the sonogram picture weighs heavily in your hoodie pocket.

Zane has been a good friend through it all, he helping you keep the secret while keeping your friends all focused on what a dillhole your ex had been. But now it's time to come clean and you're on your way to pick up Zane who had asked beforehand if he could document your pregnancy.

As Zane settles in the passenger seat, he mounts his camera to the dashboard. "Are you ready for this?" He asks.

"Not really, but I'm tired of making excuses for not drinking and sleeping all the time."

"Alright, so just like we planned." He turns the camera on and after giving you a reassuring nod, you paste on a smile before both of you look towards the camera lens. "Hey guys, Zane here and today's video is going to be a little different. As you can see, Y/N is here with me and I'm sure you've all been wondering where she's been since she hasn't been in anyone's vlogs."

You wave at the camera. "Hey guys. Sorry for going awol on you, but I'm back and I've got some news to share."

You grin over at Zane and he practically beams towards the camera. "We're pregnant, bitches!"

You snort and swat at him. "I'm pregnant. Zane's just super excited and has been a great help these past few months."

"Girl, whatever. That baby is gonna be calling me daddy. Just you wait and see."

"God I hope not."

"Uh," he scoffs. "Rude!"

"Shut up. You still love me." He hums and you take over explaining the next bit. "Anyway, today's the day I'm finally telling my friends, but we're only going to record the ones I think we'll get a reaction out of."

"Josh Peck, obviously," Zane muses. "Then David, Natalie, and Jason."

"Carly and Erin."

"You also wanted to record Kristen, but she, Scott, and Todd are still on tour."

"I know." You pout. "I'll tell everyone else, but I'm not sure they'll be as excited and I don't want to record them and have it be awkward."

Zane laughs. "I can just picture Ilya blinking and not knowing what to say."

"Right?!"

The two of you laugh and then taking a moment to calm down, you say, "So yeah. That's what we're doing today."

"Oh! Show them the sonogram."

"Oh yeah." Pulling the picture from your pocket, you hold it up to the camera and Zane helps you so the camera can focus on the image. "That right there is the little peanut. I seriously can't wait until I can find out the gender. Zane wants me to do a gender reveal party, but I don't know."

"Uh.. were doing it, baby. No ifs, ands, or buts about it."

"I swear it's like he's the pregnant one sometimes."

"Mhm. So, viewers, sit back and relax, and let's get to telling people we're having a baby!"

"Oh my god. You're too much."

Instead of turning the camera off, Zane lets it continue to record with promises to chop down the footage when in edit.

Then as you're driving over to meet Josh at the hotel he's currently staying in while he's in town for a few photoshoots, Zane gets you talking to the viewers about your current situation and why he's taken it upon himself to help you out. You end up crying when talking about your break-up, but Zane cracks a few jokes that soon have you laughing.

At Josh's hotel, you grab one of the gift bags from the trunk of your car and Zane leads the way up to Josh's room. Once there, immediately seeing the camera, Josh's eyes narrow.

"What's going on?"

You and Zane laugh. "Nothing. I got you a present just because and Zane wanted your reaction."

"Uh huh. I'm not gonna open it and be attacked by bees, am I?"

"No."

"Okay. Good." Josh leads you towards the couch and you take a seat next to him while Zane sits across the two of you. "So what's the occasion?"

You shrug and hand over the bag, but before josh can open it, you say, "All of you guys have supported me while I've been going through this post-breakup funk and I just.."

"Just open the goddamn present!" Zane urges.

You snort and in retaliation Josh sluggishly pulls the ribbon off the bag handles. When Zane makes a noise of aggravation, Josh laughs and then pulls out the tissue paper. He reaches for what's inside and he's barely fully opened it before a beaming smile blossoms. "No!"

"Yes," you laugh, tears already filling your eyes.

"Really?" He asks, then reads the personalized indie aloud, "Plot Twist! Coming January 2020."

"Oh my god. Congratulations!" Josh hugs you, clearly excited. He gets even more excited when Zane hands over a sonogram. "Look at the little peanut!" He coos. "How far along are you?"

"First trimester is officially over," you say.

"Yeah? Who else knows?"

"Well besides baby's deadbeat dad, I was the first," Zane says. "And you're second."

Josh's smile falters, his gaze subtly darting to the camera before settling back on you. "It's okay to ask. Zane's documenting the good, the bad, and the ugly."

He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. "So I'm guessing Dillion didn't take the news well?"

"You'd be correct. We were having problems before I found out the news, but a surprise pregnancy really wasn't in any of his future plans."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's fine," you assure Josh, wiping tears from your eyes. "He took some time to think about what he wanted to do and baby Y/L/N will be solely mine when he or she is born. Dillion plans to sign away all his rights."

"Oh man." Josh reaches in for another hug and you sniffle into his shoulder. "Whatever you need, just let me know. I'll help you out as much as I can."

"You really don't have to, but I appreciate the thought."

Zane turns the camera off, setting it aside. "Okay so that's one friend down," he muses. "Who's next?"

"I don't know. Lets see who's available?" You bring forth your phone and immediately start texting your friends, side-eying Josh who keeps smiling at the onesie in his lap. You receive a few texts back, grinning. "So Carly and Erin are at David's. Looks like I can kill four birds with one stone."

You then bid Josh farewell, promising to keep him updated with your pregnancy and to call should you need anything. You let Zane take over the driving and end up at David's in no time. But instead of heading inside, Natalie waves you over towards the Tesla where they're getting ready to leave. So after grabbing four gift bags from the trunk of your car, you head on over while Zane rearranges everyone in the Tesla. Carly and Erin are moved into the back seats, Natalie is seated with you in the middle, and Zane sits in the passenger seat while David drives.

"Okay so what's the big deal?" Erin immediately asks as Zane films everyone present.

"Just hold on a few more seconds," you say while passing out the gifts. "You all have to open them at the same time. Well not David because he's driving, but I'm sure he'll know soon enough."

"Enough chatting and open the gifts!" Zane says.

The girls all laugh at his anxiousness, but they open the gifts nonetheless. You see when they pull out the onesies and unfold them, grinning as you see Natalie read hers and it takes a moment for it to click: And so the adventure begins. January 2020.

"Shut the fuck up!" Erin screeches from the back seat. "You're pregnant!?"

"What?!" David's head snaps in your direction as Zane cackles, but then he quickly stares back towards the road. Instead, he looks to Zane. "I'm gonna be an uncle?"

"Is this a joke?" Carly asks

"Nope. The eggo is preggo." You pull out the sonogram and pass it around. "I'm now four months along."

"Look at Natalie," Zane laughs. "She's crying!"

"You better stop those tears right now!" David jokes, glancing at his best friend-turned-assistant. "You're gonna make the pregnant lady cry!"

"Too late."

"I'm sorry!" She laughs, wiping her tears. "It's just- you're pregnant." Natalie beams, her excitement shining through her eyes. "We're gonna have a baby!"

"Uh excuse you," Zane scoffs. "You are not having a baby. We're having a baby," he says while gesturing between himself and yourself.

"Wait, what?" Carly exclaims and you sigh.

"You really need to stop telling people that you're my baby's father." Without even having to look around, you know your friends are curious about who the baby daddy really is. "This pregnancy is why Dillion and I broke up. He intends to sign away his rights."

"Oh fuck him," Erin immediately huffs.

You crack a smile and let Natalie grab your hand to squeeze. "Hey. Whatever you need, all you have to do is ask. We're here for you."

"Yeah," David says. "That kid of ours is gonna be spoiled as fuck."

The entire car laughs and you flash them a smile. "Thanks, guys."

The camera gets turned off and Zane turns around in his seat. "Okay so where are we going because our last surprise for the day is Jason."

"Uhh, nowhere in particular," David says. "I just wanted to drive."

"Well drive on back to your house because we need to get Jason's gift and take it to him."

"Oohh. What did Jason get? Or did we all get the same thing?"

"No. Josh got a onesie that said plot twist and the due date beneath it. You guys got the adventure onesies, Jeff got a shirt for Nerf that proclaims Nerf the cool older cousin."

"Aww!"

"Todd, Scott, and Ilya got bottles of Vodka, but the label on them says do not open until I am born. January 2020."

"And Jason?" David wonders.

"Jason got the most heartfelt gift," Zane chuckles. "Even I teared up when Y/N showed me."

"It's because I actually do have a father/daughter relationship with him. I know it started off as a joke, but it actually cemented into a familial bond. So I framed a sonogram in a picture frame that says hello, grandpa on top and I can't wait to meet you on the bottom."

"Dude," David says. "He's gonna cry."

"Counting on it."

SIX MONTHS PREGNANT

Walking into David's house, you can't help but smile at the all the pink and blue. It's the day of your baby's gender reveal, Natalie having set it all up since she was the one entrusted with the envelope from the doctor.

Out back there's a chalkboard where everyone's writing their names under whether they think the baby is a girl or boy, pink and blue cupcakes, pink and blue candy, and pink and blue balloons.

Everyone's dressed in white and the way the whole reveal is going down is that everyone will split into two groups and stand on either side of you. Then armed with confetti cannons, they're going to pop them so that the colored confetti arches over you. All the while, David and Zane are going to be recording and taking pictures.

"Wow. You've gotten fat." The words surprise you, however, the person they come from doesn't. Jonah.

"I'm pregnant. What's your excuse?" Those within hearing distance snort and laugh, and you grin at your friend. "Don't fuck with me, Jonah. My hormones are up and down, and my comebacks are meaner."

"Yeah, yeah. Don't mess with preggers. I got it."

You shake your head in amusement as he walks off, one hand resting on your hip and the other absentmindedly rubbing your stomach.

"Wow. You've really popped." Jeff joins you then, expression soft as he gently hugs you in greeting. Out of everyone, he was the one to surprise you the most. He had taken it upon himself to change your diet after finding out you were pregnant, and even got you exercising to keep you and baby as healthy as can be. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," you tell him. "I'm really excited to find out whether I'm having a son or daughter."

"Do you have a preference?"

"Nah. As cliché as it sounds, I'll just be stoked as long as he or she is healthy."

Jeff grins. "Nerf's little cousin is going to be perfect. Just you watch." Your baby kicking startles you and makes you wince, and you rub the spot you felt it at. Jeff continues to watch you. "You know, I never understood why people are obsessed with touching someone's pregnancy belly, but now I think I understand."

You chuckle at him. "Do you wanna feel? Baby is kicking right now."

He glances at you in surprise before slowly nodding. Then taking his hand, you press it to where the baby is more active and watch his facial expression showcase his awe. "That's freakin' crazy, man."

"Try being the one experiencing it. The first time I felt the kick, I started crying. Not because I was happy, but because it freaked me the fuck out. Jason had to console me." You laugh as you remember calling Jason to ask him if what you felt was normal. He obviously wasn't a woman, but he was married before and experienced everything with his now ex-wife.

"Hey! If Jeff gets to rub the belly, so do I!" Heath marches up, swatting Jeff aside and placing his hand where Jeff had his. Seconds pass and his eyes widen. "Holy shit!"

"I know."

"Alright, bitches, gather 'round!" Zane shouts, recording. Next to him, David follows with his own camera. "If you haven't written down your name under whether you think the baby is a girl or boy, do so now. David's decided to make things interesting."

"Yes because finding out the gender of my baby wasn't interesting enough," you deadpan.

"Shut up. Yes it is," Natalie says, coming up beside you and shoving Heath away from your stomach.

"So the way things are going down," David starts, "is that whoever guesses the right gender wins a thousand dollars."

Your friends cheer, with the exception of Natalie who can't play because she already knows what you're having, and after the hype has gone down it's time.

Standing out in the middle of the back yard, you wait patiently as your friends split up. Heath, Mariah, Natalie, Corrina, Josh, Jason, and Matt stand on your left while Scott, Kristen, Carly, Erin, Todd, Jeff, Jonah, and Ilya stand to your right. Everyone anxiously waits with their cannon in hand, and then Zane and David count down.

"Three.. Two.. One!"

The cannons pop.. and pink confetti rains down.

There's screaming and shouting, and tears immediately fill your eyes as you laugh joyously. Erin, Matt, Todd, Josh, Jason, and Jonah are more excited than the others- they being the ones who had guessed you were having a girl.

"Baby, you is having a baby girl. How are you feeling?" Zane asks, camera in your face.

"Like I'm gonna barf," you laugh. "Holy shit. I'm having a girl!"

NINE MONTHS PREGNANT

For the last hour and a half, you've been washing and folding baby clothing for the umpteenth time, and repacking your hospital bag. Lately you've been in the nesting stage and your friends found it rather hilarious.

Just after you've placed the hospital bag atop the changing table and have taken a seat in the rocking chair, a rather intense cramp causes you to lightly groan and cradle your stomach. You've been cramping since early morning, but you're still two weeks away from your due date so you think nothing of it.

Natalie soon enters the room, smoothies in hand. "Let me guess," she says, "you've been washing again."

You grin tiredly. "I feel so restless," you tell her, accepting your banana drink. "Thank you."

"No problem." Natalie then takes a seat on the floor, her back against the open door as she glances around the nursery. Each piece of nursery furniture was purchased by your friends and assembled by a professional. David, as a present afterward, got a mural of the entire gang painted on the wall and peering down into the crib. Half the group thought it was creepily hilarious, but you found it rather endearing. "So what's on the agenda tonight?"

Still rubbing your stomach, you hide your grimace behind the smoothie cup. "I, uh, I actually think I need to go to the hospital."

Natalie's head whips in your direction. "What?"

"I've been cramping all morning and thought they were Braxton Hicks," you admit. "But they've only gotten more painful and closer together."

"Holy shit, Y/N. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because if you freak out, I'm gonna freak out. So stop freaking out!"

"O-okay!" Natalie quickly stands, taking a moment to center herself. "Has your water broken?"

"No." Your voice wobbles, but you quickly gulp down the knot forming in your throat. "Am I- do you thinking I'm overreacting?"

"Nope. But whether these contractions are the real deal or not, I rather have the nurses look you over and decide themselves."

"Agreed."

"Yeah. Okay. I'll just- I'll grab the bag." Natalie walks over to the changing table and shoulders the bag's strap. She then walks over to you and helps you out of the rocking chair. "I'll drive and you make the phone calls to everyone."

You hiss in pain. "Sounds like a plan."

          - X - X - X - X - X -

Waddling back and forth in your hospital room, you mentally curse your option to not have an epidural. Natalie has been a trooper, calling and texting your friends to let them know this was the real deal. You can't have too many people in your room before the actual labor takes place, so everyone plans to visit for a few minutes and then rotate with the others. For the birth, though, Natalie and Zane were staying.

"Knock! Knock!" The door opens and in walks David, Jeff, Zane, and Jason.

"Oh fuck you and your dumbass smile." The boys all laugh and Natalie hides her smile behind her phone. After all, she's been the sole target of your mean remarks since you've been admitted so she's just happy to see someone else targeted. "God I hope your daughter doesn't inherit your meanness."

"I'm so sorry," you tearfully apologize to David. "But if I hear your laugh one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face."

"Aw baby," Zane coos. "Have they given you anything for the pain?"

"She decided against the epidural," Natalie advises them.

"Wait, what?" Jason asks. "Seriously?"

"I heard stories," you mumble. "The cons outweighed the pros, so I told the doctor I didn't want it."

"God you're brave," Jeff huffs. "I've heard horror stories."

"Not. Helping," you grit out when yet another contraction hits. Hissing, you stop pacing and bend over the side of the bed. Natalie rushes over and starts to rub the small of your back as you start to cry.

"And that's our cue," David says. "We'll send in the next group. Erin and Mariah are super stoked."

"That's because they're not the ones pushing a baby out of their vagina!"

Zane sticks around, planning to record part of the birth, but also knowing full well that he and Natalie are to stay near your head. You don't plan on having any vagina shots on film or picture.

          - X - X - X - X - X -

Thirteen hours.

Thirteen long excruciating hours and baby Wren Y/L/N has finally entered the world.

Natalie and Zane held your hands throughout the entire birth, letting your insults slide off their backs when their encouraging voices grew aggravating. Natalie took pictures and videos for Instagram when baby Wren was placed on you directly after being pulled out, and Zane excitedly cut the umbilical cord when asked if he wanted to. Baby Wren was then taken away to be cleaned up, weighed, and measured, and your friends gave you some privacy for the after birth and clean-up.

Now your two friends are dozing on and off in some recliners the nurse had wheeled in, and you're curled on your side as you stare at your sleeping baby in her bassinet right next to your bed.

A gentle knock sounds on the door and it opens to David's grinning face. "Can we come in?"

"Yeah." You tiredly wave him in. "Just be quiet."

The rest of the gang enter behind him, pink balloons and teddy bears in hand.

"Oh my god. She's adorable!" David gushes, already filming Wren as she sleeps. "Jesus, Y/N, you're a mom."

"Total MILF," Todd giggles. Kristen rolls her eyes and swats him upside the head. "Ow! What? I was joking."

"Whatever. Keep it in your pants, Toddy. I doubt Y/N is looking to get pregnant anytime soon."

"Try never," you muse. "Giving birth fuckin' sucks."

"But it's totally worth it. Right?" Mariah asks, touching Wren's tiny hand.

"Eh."

"Can we hold her?" Jason asks.

"Yeah. Go ahead. The nurse should be back in, in a few. It's close to her feeding time anyway."

Jason picks Wren up, gently cradling her in his arms. Seconds pass, and David and Jeff start to snicker at Jason's sniffling. "You're already loved so much, you have no idea. Welcome to the Vlog Squad, kid."

Everyone softly laughs and then take turns holding your baby. She grunts and yawns, and sucks on her tiny fist, and she has everyone wrapped around her tiny finger in a matter of minutes. As your own eyes then start to droop, they flutter back open when you feel a weight settling next to you on the bed.

"Hey, David."

"Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling?"

"Like I pushed an eight pound baby out of my vagina and haven't slept in forever."

He chuckles. "Just wait until you're all healed up. You'll look back on this day and say it was all worth it."

"I don't know about that, D. There's still months of Wren waking up every three hours demanding the tit. I don't know how I'm going to handle it."

"You'll figure it out. You always do," David says. "And when you're feeling overwhelmed, call someone. Everyone loves you and Wren, and I'm sure you'll have no issues finding a babysitter."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." Wren lets out a brief cry and you glance over at her, only to be met with Jeff's panic-stricken expression. "Quick! Someone snap a picture."

Your friends all laugh at Jeff, which only upsets Wren even more. She cries louder, but the sudden knock on the door and a nurse walking in causes your friend to sigh in relief. "Feeding time!"

"Alright, losers," you muse, slowly sitting up, "that's your cue to leave. Jeff, hand over Wren."

Jeff walks over and cautiously passes you the baby, he then lingering to brush his thumb over her brow. "She really is something, Y/N. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Jeff." As your friends all walk out with quiet reminders that they'll be back later after you've bonded more with Wren, you stare down at your baby tucked into the crook of your arm. "Well, kid, I would say it looks like it's just you and me, but I'm pretty sure all your aunts and uncles would say otherwise. Grandpa Jason was right. You have no idea just how loved you already are."

[nostalthicc]

Reader calling one of the vlog squad guy crying cause there a wasp in her car and she has no clue how to get rid of it (she’s tried the obvious but it didn’t work) -❄️

warnings: cursing, a wasp??

you tried you really did but nothing worked, the stubborn ass wasp wouldn’t leave. 

you swore it was karma for having heath remove the wasp nest from your backyard a few weeks ago. and you were sure the wasp gods were out to get you

so you did the only reasonable thing to do...

call todd

luckily for you, he happened to be with todd -- but maybe by a small chance, you knew they were together

you needed as much protection as you could get

when the boys got there you were freaking out, pulling out your hair and yelling type freaking out. you didn’t any footage, nor coffee and the wasp gods were highly against you

“get it! please, get it!” 

todd tried to calm you down but nothing would seem to work, that was until jeff walked out of the car with a tray of golden’s- your favorite coffee shop

after giving jeff the biggest you could muster, you quickly demand the boys help with your dilemma. 

things were going great and they almost had the wasp out until it landed on todd’s hand and he completely flipped out and locked your keys and his own in your car.

“y/n you have to crawl through the window! you’re the smallest!” 

“i’m not going in there! send jeff in there!”

your banter went on for ages until you finally agreed to crawl into the car IF the two of them agreed to buy your drinks for the rest of the year

and for each of you, it seemed like a fair trade-off but we all know whose getting the short end of the stick

cough cough todd and jeff cough cough

the entire time you squeezed yourself through the window you bitched and fussed

but you mainly kept your gaze on the small but evil creature eyeing you down on top of the glove department

“where are the keys?”

“on the floor, by the break”

when you finally got the keys, the boys pulled you out, cheering you on happily

“lunch on todd!” 

“y/n there’s still a wasp in your car.”

“oh shit, i forgot.” 

[i8jisoo]

Can you make one where you are pregnant and the vlogsquad make some jokes about your pregnancy but you are too sentimal and David protect and defend you? Pleasee

𝐃𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐃 𝐃𝐎𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐊  ⇉  just a joke

warnings ➢ insecurity & pregnancy, ps i dont write 4 david anymore and i dont support him anymore thanks

you had had your fair share of little comments about your weight gain or on your appearance now that you were having a baby, but you always had your friends to defend you on your weight or whatever it was the internet was ridiculing you on. you also had your boyfriend, david to always cheer you up and he never usually was constantly online and checking on what people had to say on your relationship, that was until he was soon to become a father. so when he heard the first time that the internet was talking about the mother of his child, he had to put an end to it.

it was a normal day, a little bit less normal now that the days were counting down to the arrival of your baby, david had invited some friends over as per usual, wanting to record but not wanting to leave you at home alone. he was very cautious now, skipping out on the crazy stunts and other shit he used to do in his backyard or infront. david now followed you around the house constantly, even going to the bathroom or kitchen with you, sitting on the counter or outside of the door. you had probably heard the phrase ‘anything you need?’ about a thousand times as soon as he got home from the first ever ultrasound with you.

now zane, heath, along with toddy, jason, josh, and erin were on your couch, sitting around a chatting. natalie of course would be coming back after she did some things for david and grabbed some diapers and bottles, as david had begged her to get some more since he was still convinced he wasn’t prepared after stocking up on fifteen boxers or diapers. as well as the thirty bottles that had been sanitized, left in a seperate drying rack since he pressed that bottles and your dishes should not be together. after carly had a wild night out drinking with bruce until dawn, he decided that it’d be best to let the two stay home and sober up together. they were all chatting and trying to come up with ideas for the vlog, david recording those bits too so just in case something funny was to come up, he would catch it and be able to put it in. it started to get a bit stuffy in the room, your arms pulling off the hoodie and david helping you with it before he pulled you back closer into him. you fixed the bottom of your shirt, piping up at heath’s voice.

“that reminds me of the baby, she just looked so small underneath the hoodie! then when you take it off it’s like, wow.” heath comments, jason chuckling at the comment and agreeing. “not such a little baby huh?” jason pokes at david, “gonna be like lugging around a watermelon.” david smiling awkwardly in response at the sudden topic of his child, you brushed off the comments as best you could, trying to stay calm as you knew that the camera was on.

heath hit zane’s shoulder, “just imagine us trying to hold david’s son for the first time and he’s like huge, like just look at her. that’s obviously gonna be a big baby, i bet it’s a good ten pound baby. was your mom this big when she was gonna have you david? weren’t you a chubby baby?” heath questions, your smile dropping and david’s arm pulling back from your shoulders. you felt a little insecure, suddenly feeling even worse. you let out a shaky breath, nodding. “i’m gonna use the bathroom, i’ll be back.” you murmur, david helping you up and quickly taking back his spot on the couch, letting his eyes linger while you make your way to the bathroom.

a few tears make it’s way down your face, looking at your weathered appearance as the pregnancy definitely did make you tired and more worn out, but unable to sleep due to the bump resting on your back and the kicks or hiccups your little baby was giving you constantly. david was there for it all, helping you do small little things that reminded you that these long months are worth it all.

“heath, why would you say that?” david started, already reaching for the camera to turning it off and fumbling with the camera’s power button. “she’s pregnant dude, not cool. i’d never say that shit about mariah if she was pregnant.” he rants, running a hand through his hair while tossing the camera onto the empty space next to him. “it was just a joke david, i didn’t expect her to take it serious.” heath stutters out, david rolling his eyes. “you know she’s fucking insecure heath and you’re an asshole for that. you too jason, i would never talk about your kids.” he leans back in his spot, stopping at the sound of the bathroom door. he gets up before you make your way down the hallway, already hurrying to you. he reaches you, taking a few steps in the hallway before he takes you back to your shared bedroom. david takes your hands, helping you lower yourself onto the bed. he smiles, making your heart melt.

“hope you weren’t too upset over what heath and jason were saying, but if you were, wanna know what you’re doing?” he murmurs, giving you a second to pretend to guess and you giving him a shrug. “you’re giving me a baby, that’s the best thing i could’ve asked for. i never thought coming over here, i’d find fame, or friends, let alone a girlfriend and a baby. never thought i’d start a family, but somehow you made that change, for that i’m eternally grateful.” he says, already seeing the glassy look in your eyes that he saw when he surprised you in earlier years. “besides, you’re incredibly cute when you waddle around, or when you post on instagram, i think all those photos with you and your bump are the best ones.” he finishes, pulling up your shirt and pressing a kiss to the stretched skin.

“and you, you need to come out. right now.” he demands, mock anger. david pulling you in for a hug and kiss, hearing your small laugh and your arms at the nape of his neck, he knew that this life was destined for him.

[howdyageturstart]

VS Subscribers by Number of Videos

Hi everyone, today I was thinking about the number of videos an influencer has and now that compares to their number of subscribers. This comparison does not take into account other factors that make them famous or their efforts and passion.

It’s a long one y’all but hopefully it’s worth it. Here’s the graph comparing number of subscribers. I made if you want a shorter read

Toddy Smith

Todd has 1.23M subscribers. YouTube has now changed how they display subscribers. A YouTubers subscribers now only increases when they gain 1,000

When we divide his subscribers by the number of videos we get about 0.004 subscribers per video. He also has 71,916,568 views in total. When we divide that by his subscribers we get 58,468,755 views per subscriber.

————————————————————-

Scotty Sire

Scott has 2.99M subscribers and 584 videos. When we divide the number of subscribers by the number of videos we get 0.005 subscribers per video. When we divide his 456,515,165 view by his subscribers we get 152,680,657 views per subscriber.

————————————————————-

Jeff Wittek

Jeff Wittek is my favorite in the Vlog Squad as many of y’all may known so I may have some bias.

Jeff has 2.75M subscribers and 93. He has significantly less videos than others but with higher production value. When we compare the number of subscribers by the number of videos we get 0.03 subscribers per video. When we compare his 238,586,329 views by subscribers we get 86,758,665 views per subscriber.

———————————————————-

Zane Hijazi

Zane has 3.9M subscribers and 265 videos. When we compare the number of subscribers to numbed of videos we get 0.015 subscribers per video. When we compare his 627,364,974 views to subscribers we get 160,862,814 views per subscriber.

———————————————————-

Heath

Heath has 2.46M subscribers and 205 videos. When we compare his subscribers to number of videos we get 0.012 subscribers per video. When we compare his 265,217,952 views to subscribers we get 107,812,176 views per subscriber.

————————————————————-

Jason Nash

Jason has 3.21M subscribers and 670 videos. When we compare his number of subscribers to number of videos we get 0.005 subscribers per video. When we compare his 556,483,344 views to subscribers we get 173,359,297 views per subscriber.

————————————————————-

Josh Peck

Josh has 3.75M subscribers and 225 videos. When we compare his number of videos to subscribers we get 0.015 videos per subscriber. When we compare his 336,557,045 views to his subscribers 89,748,545 views per subscriber.

—————————————————————-

Carly & Erin

I will not be comparing them individually because I don’t feel like it, sorry y’all.

Carly and Erin have 1.21M subscribers and 685 videos. When we compare their number of videos to subscribers we get 0.002 videos per subscriber. When we compare their 261,535,944 views to subscribers 199,645,759 videos per subscriber.

—————————————————————-

David Dobrik

David Dobrik is obviously the most famous of the Vlog Squad so let’s compare the stats.

David has 18.7M subscribers and 621 videos. When we compare his number of videos to number of subscribers we get 0.03 videos per subscriber. When we compare his 8,059,970,073 views to subscribers we get 431,014,442 videos per subscriber.

------------------------------------------------------------

Conclusion

I honestly don’t know what this means but I thought it would be cool to compare them by a common filter

[dobriksyear]

David really loves the old Josh. Lol

[duskypinkbow]

Josh is so fucking right

[hestoocute]

[dvious-content]

Josh Peck deletes all trace of David Dobrik from his Instagram amid controversy

Josh Peck deletes all trace of David Dobrik from his Instagram amid controversy

Actor Josh Peck has deleted all traces of David Dobrik off of his Instagram as the YouTube star continues to deal with the fallout from controversy over past videos. The drama surrounding YouTube star David Dobrik’s old videos and content shows no sign of slowing down, and now it seems like some of his acquaintances are starting to distance themselves from the embattled content…

[2muchvloggy]

hey guys!! below is going to be a huge list of prompts! i haven’t written anything in years but i’m super excited to start again!!! I’m willing to write for anyone in Vlogsquad but fair warning i’m a bit rusty lmao! here we go!!!!

2Muchvloggy’s Welcome List of Prompts!!!!!

1.“Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

2.”If that’s what you want.”

3.”what were you thinking? we’re you trying to get yourself killed?”

4.“no regrets.”

5.“how drunk was I?”

6.”they’re monsters”

7.”welcome to fatherhood”

8.”i’m pregnant”

9.”are you going to talk to me?”

10.”i’m sorry”

11.”When you love someone, you can’t just stop. Even when people roll their eyes or laugh or call you crazy... even then. especially then!”

12.”where did you learn to dance?”

13.”where were you? do you have any idea how worried i/we was/were?”

14.”who gave you that black eye?”

15.”why are you lying?”

16.”why are you up so early?”

17.”why can’t you see what you do to me?”

18.”why choose me?”

19.”why don’t you just kiss me already?”

20.”you’re the best thing to ever have happened to me.”

21.”you deserve so much better.”

22.”you did this all for me?”

23.”you did WHAT?”

24.”you don’t have to stay.”

25.”you don’t know you the way i do.”

26.”i don’t want you to stop.”

27.”how could i forget about you?”

28.”hold still.”

29.”don’t argue, just do it.”

30.”keep going.”

31.”show me what’s behind your back.”

32.”stay awake.”

33.”stop interrupting me.”

34.”kiss me.”

35.”tell me you need me.”

36.”i needed you to fight for me.”

37.”i loved you.”

38.”you left me.”

39.”i can’t lose you.”

40.”i’m lying when i say i love you.”(ouch😭)

41.”are you breaking up with me?”

42.”don’t touch me”

43.”i don’t like you.”

44.”stop being so jealous.”

45.”why aren’t you eating?”

46.”tell me where it hurts.”

47.”how did this happen?”

48.”let me see.”

49.”how bad is it?”

50.”can you carry me?”

51.”i can’t move!”

52.”don’t move!”

53.”this is gonna hurt.”

54.”i can’t feel anything.”

55.”you’re burning up.”

56.”i-i threw up.”

57.”don’t worry. i’m gonna take care of you.”

58.”how long ago did this happen?”

59.”how long have you felt like this?”

60.”why didn’t you tell me it hurt so bad?”

61.”your pain can’t be at a 10, it’s just a scratch-o-oh my god.”

62.”i fell down.”

63.”please make it stop.”

64.”stop moving around, you’ll make it worse.”

65.”i don’t think i can get up.”

66.”i can’t do it, i need you to do it.”

67.”i’m too squeamish for this.”

68.”i don’t need help. i just need the pain to stop.”

69.”i tried to move on but nobody is you.”

70.”do i look like i’ve moved on?”

71.”i feel like everyone just forgot that i existed.”

72.”maybe i’m meant to be alone.”

73.”i gave you a second chance and you used it to stab me in the back.”

74.”no i’m not drunk you’re just blurry.”

75.”i have a feeling we should kiss.” “is that a good feeling or a bad feeling?”

76.”if you’re waiting for me to apologize, grab a snack , because it’s gonna be a while.”

77.”we’re in public, knock it off.”

78.”what are you talking about? i’m very mature.”

79.”you know it’s okay to show emotion, right?”

80.”come on, open the door.”

81.”did you just throw that at me?”

82.”i think you like me.”

83.”can you keep a secret?”

84.”you’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this.”

85.”honestly all i want right is a drink and netflix.”

86.”are you wearing my shirt?”

87.”wow, you’re hot.”

88.”it’s too cold! come back!”

89.”just pretend to be my date?”

90.”i vote today be a pajama day.”

91.”it’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

92.”i saw that. you just checked me out.”

93.”are you stupid stupid, or just stupid?”

94.”my family thinks we’re dating.”

95.”pull over, let me drive for a while.”

96.”you can borrow mine.”

97.”close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

98.”are you crying? mister/misses i don’t cry about anything ever?” “oh shut up we all have weaknesses!”

99.”youre warm. s’great for cuddling.”

100.”you’ll be the death of me.”

i’m super excited to see what you guys have for me!!!

[mrs-dobrik]

Views, with a view

David

Request: I’ve been having a really cute dream recently of David asking me to join him on the podcast for the first time and we announce our relationship there even though I’d been on his Instagram and Snapchat a few times before that.

Warnings: N/A

Words: 890

You left the bedroom after getting ready, wearing black skinny jeans and my favorite crop top with your hair and makeup only slightly done up. I kept a natural look today, wanting to be relaxed. I stepped out into the living room, connecting eyes with David after I had greeted Jason and Joe. He smiled warmly and signaled me over for a kiss. I walled over and bent down pressing a kiss to his lips, “You look pretty bub.” He smiled as you pulled away to goo to the kitchen for some coffee. You responded with a thanks while finding yourself a mug.

“Bubba, why don’t you do the podcast with us?” He pitched with a smile as I past the couch again with my fresh mug of coffee in hand.

“Why?” You questioned as he never really put you in his videos often as he liked to keep your relationship private and he held the mentality that he would have you all to himself.

“Because we have no ideas on what to talk about and it would be fun, don’t ya think?” He smiled and brushed his thumb over your knuckles.

You weren’t shy to be on camera, you were comfortable to share yourself honestly with the world so that wasn’t a problem, the only thing making you feel uncertain was the fact that you had jumped from being in only a few Instagram stories and posts to being the highlight of the podcast. You could only imagine the reactions from the fans.

“Sure babe.” You chuckled lightly, “let me get water then.” You said before going back to the kitchen and gathering up water for everybody. You reached the couch again and handed out the water, being thanked continuously.

You sat next to David, his arm wrapped around your shoulder and a mic handed to each of you. “You guys ready?” Joe asked and you nodded along with David and Jason.

The guys introduced the podcast before David addressed you, “Today my gorgeous girlfriend, y/n, has joined us. We hoping she’ll do a better job than Jason.” everyone chuckled, David carried on to crack another joke, “This is actually her pilot episode, if she fails then we using her as clickbait for the next breakup vlog.”

Your jaw dropped a little before you playfully slapped his arm and laughed along with everyone. “He’s actually paying me, that’s why no one has gotten a car recently, all that seatgeek money is going straight to my pockets.” You teased further.

“Damn it feels like it,” he sighed, “girlfriends are expensive, especially when they like Olive Garden.” He said, poking your side as he teased on .

Jason jumped into the conversation, giving the listeners some background, “Guys this is technically your announcement video if y/n hasn’t been in any vlogs.”

David frowned, “She’s been on my instagram!” I chuckled, “but I suppose all my girls are on there.” He grinned smugly, nodding his head.

“Ah, shut up!” I giggled again making him break into a laugh.

Once his laugh died down he sighed and gathered his thoughts, “Yeah, I suppose I’ll have to give some background. I know a lot of you have had your suspicions about us but truthfully we’ve just never felt the need to be like ‘hey this person is my girlfriend’. I just think I kept it low seeing if she was the one and once I realized she was, I didn’t have the urge to share our relationship openly.” He looked over at me for approval in his words.

I jumped in once his thoughts faded out and provided my own opinion, “And it’s not like we kept it tops secret, any idiot could scroll through our instagrams and put two and two together but I feel like people require the confirmation because so many rumors float around.” He smiled as I spoke almost as though he was proud of the confidence I carried through my words. “And I feel like they always paired David with these insanely hot supermodels so no one really expected it.”

“I think you the hottest supermodel.” He teased and pressed kisses to my neck making me breath out into the mic with a smile spreading across my face.

We continued to move onto other topics of conversation and David and Jason wrapped up the podcast before Joe stopped the camera and packed everything up. I cuddled further into David causing him to wrap an arm around me and hold me close as he kissed me. “You did awesome bubs.” He smiled and peppered small kisses all over my cheeks.

After a few days the podcast was released and you didn’t express your slight fears to David, wondering if your presence in it would have brought a negative reaction but to your surprise the fans were raving about you in the comments. You got up to find David lying in his bean bag, you stood at his feet while he moved the laptop from his lap. You collapsed into his lap and have him a kiss before pulling back with a big grin, “They liked me!” You cheered making him chuckle and squeeze your sides, “Not as much as I like you!” He teased and tackled you down before tickling your sides making you break down in laughter.

[nostalthicc]

he’s not mine | jeff wittek

dad!jeff wittek x reader

summary: helping jeff raise his son was fun until she came back

warnings: angst, fluff, many mistakes

2.5k words

oliver was born may 28th, 2017

december 8th, 2017

y/n gave jeff a small smile as she stepped into his apartment, many baby toys were scattered across the floor along with camera equipment. she admired the cozy apartment, way bigger than hers but it felt homey. “i’m really sorry about this, i was completely rushing this morning and couldn’t realize i picked up the wrong phone.” she apologized as she handing jeff his phone back, thinking about the simple mistake she made this morning.

“i’m almost there!” y/n whispered into her phone. “please, stall a little bit longer, i didn’t think smoothies took this long.” she walked up to the counter, slamming her phone down, her foot tapped at a rapid pace as she wanted for her drinks to be done. y/n was so anxious she didn’t even notice the beautiful stranger place his phone right next to her own when he started to order. 

“y/n?” her eyes lit up when the man called her name, she quickly got her drinks, phone, and a few napkins before she raced out of there. it wasn’t until after her presentation did y/n realize she had taken the wrong phone, the screensaver wasn’t hers, the text messages coming through sure weren’t hers and the phone numbers looked unfamiliar. she started going into panic mode, how was she supposed to get through the day without her phone or let alone knowing who had her phone. 

she recognized her number pop up on the screen, she rushed out of class without a word, causing all heads to turn towards her but she could care less. y/n had important information on that phone she didn’t want getting out. “hello?” she answered, her voice shaking a bit.

the stranger was quiet for a few seconds. “i didn’t think thieves answered the phone they stole or left their own behind.” the masculine voice responded causing a wave a relief to flood over y/n.

“i promise i wasn’t trying to steal your phone! i was in a rush this morning and i didn’t even notice- i really wasn’t trying to steal anything-” she stopped rambling when she heard a low chuckle come from the opposite line. “i promise i wasn’t.” 

“i figured, i’m just messing with you.” he said, still continuing to laugh. “uh, so y/n, are you free right now to switch back? i can text you the address,” he asked after gaining his composure. y/n quickly answered with a yes, climbing into her car. her anxiety grew as she got closer to the stranger’s house, y/n already knew he had seen her private messages, she didn’t have a password on her phone and was not logged out of any of her social media accounts. but she was slightly relieved for her irresponsibility because he wouldn’t have been able to call her otherwise.

“you should probably pay a little bit more attention next time.” he teased, grabbing her phone off the kitchen table, returning it to her. although he was supposed to be filming a video he did find humor behind the situation, how many times do you run into someone with an identical phone and case as you. “and you should probably put a password on your phone.”

y/n sighed, starring down at the floor. “how much did you see?” 

“enough to know you’re in deep shit.” jeff decided not to sugarcoat it for this girl. it was not looking great for her. “i mean cmon’ sleeping with your professor- and in no way am i trying to pry but it just seems a little too risky.” 

“i know, i know, i’m just right at the end and he’s threatening me. i just can’t go down this close to the end.” y/n explained and it was all true, he paid for her housing, tuition, and held her future right in the palm of his hand. she didn’t know why she was explaining this to a guy she just met but he was as of now the only person that knew. she told him about how her professor is blackmailing her, about her father’s will opening when she graduates, the perfect job waiting for her when she gets out of college and he just sat there listening like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

for the first time in a long time, jeff realized people who came from well-supported backgrounds could have complicated lives as well. they were interrupted by the loud wails of his son in the bedroom. jeff excused him before returning with a baby in his arms. he watched as y/n’s eyes light up at the chubby baby cuddling into his father. “you like babies?”

“like would be an understatement, i love babies!” she gushed, trying to contain her excitement while starring at the child. jeff walked over to y/n, gently placing his son in her arms. she gladly took him but looked up at jeff as if asking for permission, he gave her a grin before going back to his seat across the couch. y/n placed the baby’s feet on her knees as she admired his adorable face. “you might be the cutest baby i’ve ever seen, look at your cheeks.” her baby voice surfaced when she started talking to the baby, completely ignoring his father. he let out a toothless grin, showing off his gums. “are you smiling? are you happy?” 

“his name is oliver.” 

y/n lifted oliver off of her lap, setting him back on her lap. “hello, oliver. aren’t you just the cutest?” olive squealed again, earning a giggle from y/n. “yes, yes you are.”

june 17th, 2018

“no, please, please tell me it’s not more clothes,” jeff cried, watching y/n walk into the apartment with numerous bags dangling around her arms. ever since the pair became official y/n had taken it into her own hands to spoil oliver and jeff occasionally. she had become the motherly figure in his life, curing jeff of being a single father. 

y/n dropped all her bags directly on the floor by the front door, along with her jacket and purse to see her little sunshine who was playing with a yellow school bus and firetruck on the floor next to jeff. “hi, baby!” she said lifting him off the floor. “did you eat this morning?” she scratched his belly before turning to jeff, he gave her a thumbs-up without even tearing his eyes away from the computer screen. y/n rolled her eyes returning her attention back to oliver who remained swinging his truck around in the air. “do you wanna have a fashion show for your daddy? i think he would like that, wouldn’t he? we could show off our new clothes.”

jeff’s ears perked at her words but he didn’t look at her, he would have plenty of time for that. it’s why he played extra hard with oliver and let him stay up an hour past his nap time. alone time for the couple didn’t come often with a baby, even though they always seemed to find time for it. always. 

even though jeff hated y/n buying oliver new clothes almost every week, he had to admit he always looked adorable in them. he would constantly say his son could pull off anything, which was true. the last outfit was a sleeper with bear ears on the hood, bears on the feet and a brown fluffy tail on the butt. oliver was becoming cranking and begging to be put in his crib, even he could feel the sexual tension rising from the two. 

january 10th, 2019

“okay, one last present.” jeff said, pulling out a bag from behind the counter. y/n furrowed her eyebrows together as she looked at the yellow bag, she had told jeff not to go overboard and he had already given her an abundance of gifts, she really had no idea what this could be. she plucked the variety of colored papers out of the bag before reaching her hand into the bag, her hand was met with a soft fabric. 

“a onesie, oh jee, thanks. is this your pregnancy announcement?” y/n was sarcastic because she was still beyond confused what jeff was doing.

“shut up and turn it around.” 

y/n did as she was told, turning the onesie towards her face. to say she was shocked was an understatement, many emotions ran through her brain while reading the text. 

‘yeah i’m cute, i get it from my mama’

jeff and y/n had never actually talked about what oliver was going to address her as when he started talking, so for jeff to surprise her with this made her heart spin like crazy. y/n ran from her seat to hug him, soft sobs coming from her lips, mixed with a series of thank-yous.  

november 21st, 2019

jeff walked in the kitchen with a towel around his waist, scrolling mindlessly through his phone, little droplets of water fell from his hair onto his toned chest. y/n’s mouth watered as she stared at her boyfriend, she wanted nothing more than to push him back into the shower with her but she had more pressing matters at the moment. mini jeff. she had been trying to get oliver to eat all morning but he was settled on throwing it her instead of eating. 

“ollie, baby, please eat this,” she begged, a small whine leaving her lips. he was already not eating enough, underweight, and not talking. he was just turned two. all the doctors gave the same the response:

“he’s just a little behind, wait a few weeks.”

“don’t worry he’ll be talking in no time.”

“everything will be okay, just give it time.” 

jeff and y/n were tired of giving it time, the suspense was eating away at them, they really just wanted to know how to help oliver. 

y/n gave up on trying to get the baby boy to eat and instead let him play with his toys on the floor. jeff reentered the room, with clothes on this time. “stop worrying, please.” he said, kissing her forehead a few times, y/n went to defend herself but jeff cut her off. “i can see the worry of your face. we’ll be fine, go help erin and carly, we’re having a boys weekend.” she looked up at her boyfriend, pouting. she didn’t want to leave the boys, y/n has grown very attached to both of them. “go, before they kick my ass for holding you here for so long.” 

2 days later

y/n had a lot of fun even though she was away from her boys but she was reading by the end of the weekend to go home. she missed her bed. erin and carly were horrible roommates, y/n couldn’t see how they lived together, they both snored extremely loud and kicked anyone in the bad next to them. but no amount of back pain could have prepared her for what she was about to walk into. the first thing y/n noticed when she trailed into the house was the play pin surround oliver, she thought they had agreed he didn’t need one, the second was the smell, it smelt strongly of lavender in through the apartment. y/n hated lavender with a passion, it caused a rash to form on her chest whenever she was around it.

“are you the babysitter?” a woman’s voice brought y/n out of her thoughts. “i don’t know what time you usually come but we don’t need you anymore,” she spoke dry and uninterested, the woman was cleaning out a new set of bottles, ones with strange nipples oliver didn’t like. 

y/n decided to ignore the lady, she didn’t care about her. she wanted to see her baby and jeff. she made her way over to the play pin, oliver squealed when he saw, waddling his way to edge. y/n willingly wrapped the boy in her arms, breathing in his familiar shampoo. at least that didn’t change. 

“what are you doing? i told you to leave- jeff!” the woman was beginning to grow frustrated with y/n, especially when she reached for her baby. both females watched jeff scurry into the room, looking for a problem but his eyes only met y/n’s confused stare. “she won’t leave, tell her we don’t need a nanny anymore.” 

jeff turning to the woman as she continued to bitch. “just give me one second.” that was a straight jab to the chest for y/n, he didn’t even deny this crazy lady’s allegation and was starting to piece together who she was. “can we talk so a quick moment outside?” he asked, walking over to the girl. 

“that’s-” 

jeff began but y/n cut him off quickly. “polly? yeah, i figured.” y/n clutched tighter onto oliver, she was growing more and more afraid of losing him at this moment. “why is she here, jeff?”

��she wants to be in his life again, she said she was finally ready to be a mom.” he explained, oblivious to y/n’s breaking figure. “she texted me a few days back saying she wanted to meet him so i invited her over and they really did click.” y/n sighed sadly, she knew what was going to happen.

“so what? she wanted to meet up with ollie, our ollie ironically the weekend i was gone.” her sadness was morphing with anger, this isn’t fair to her. “god, jeff! what the fuck! she broke your heart and she’ll break his too, just wait! she wants your money! people like her don’t change!” she didn’t even notice she was crying into oliver reached up to touch a stray tear, her heart was splitting in half and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. 

she watched as his soft eyes turning angry. “i changed, did i not. or do you think i’m just like her, huh.” he seethed, defending polly like she had stuck with him through everything with their son. “just like the mother of my child?” 

neither of them said anything for a long time, starring at one another wait for a counter. “i’m so stupid, so, so stupid.” she mumbled, y/n wiped the tears off her face before looking up at jeff. “what was this? was i some substitute while you waited for who you really wanted? oh my god, i gave up my whole life for you guys, i-i literally don’t have anything.” her breathing started to grow heavier and suddenly she went back right to the day she first met jeff, panicking in her class because she thought she had lost everything. y/n choked on a sob, suddenly handing oliver to jeff before sprinting down the hall.

 y/n left jeff there wondering if he had made the right decision, she left him there having to watch his son cry for his mama, she left him there with a hole in his heart polly couldn’t fill. the only thing polly could fill was her wallet.